How to manipulate people psychology. How to manipulate people? Practical advice

Manipulation of people - how to recognize manipulation
and how to resist them.Today I continue the conversation
started in one of the previous video lessons,dedicated
how to not lose motivation. I'll bring
examples of manipulation andmanipulation methods and
I’ll tell you how to behave with a manipulator.

manipulation of people.

In previous videos, we talked about how not to lose motivation if you are losing weight or taking up sports and, in general, starting new life- and I told you that the people closest to us - friends, spouses and parents - can easily put a spoke in our wheels. It’s one thing if they simply have the wrong ideas about how to lose weight, what’s useful and what’s not. But it’s another thing when a friend suddenly turns out to be not even a friend at all and doesn’t want you to change. And the relative is more worried that his authority has been shaken and is using manipulation to regain his crown.

manipulation of people video:

manipulation of people.
What is this?

Manipulation is influence through emotions in order to force you to do as the manipulator wants.
Remember - manipulation is always an impact on your emotions. You need to clearly identify when you are being manipulated, because the guilt, fear, anxiety - which the manipulator will try to install in your soul - deprive you of motivation and strength to move on.

examples of people manipulation
Let's look at some classic examples:

Inducing feelings of guilt and pity (You are selfish, I raised you and didn’t sleep at night, I’m next to you like a hippopotamus now, I was cooking in vain, I tried!; I’m already tired, you still need to cook separately;)
Attempts to downplay the feeling self-esteem. (Are you not a man? Are you weak?)
The opposite of this is open disbelief in your endeavors (How long have you stopped drinking; if you light a cigarette already, you’ll still relapse)
Exception from society - (Everyone eats, but are you special? And what, everyone is fat? You’re not like everyone else. Abnormal; Everything needs to be in moderation! (like everyone else); behave like a man, have a drink with everyone already;)
Dramatization (this is a demonstration of tears, hysterics, a depressed look, sometimes no words are needed. They just show everyone how something terrible is about to happen and that you are the reason that life is over)
As I already said in the last video, a sufficient means that pulls the rug out from under the feet of any manipulator is the requirement to explain one’s position from a position of knowledge and logic. It is worth asking the manipulator “who said that this is a measure? Why should I trust him? — how the entire attack collapses like a house of cards. But there is one unpleasant moment - the manipulator will never forgive you for catching him. Therefore, there will be several defense options:

methods against

So, depending on who is trying to manipulate you, I divide into three classes of “combat actions”

Close relatives with whom it is important to maintain relationships. Mom, friend, husband-wife.
This is the most difficult thing. Because when you do not give in to the demonstration of suffering, you are a callous and unloving person. But in fact, the solution here is standard and very effective. It is very important for a manipulator to realize that he has influence over you, because this is how he feels that he is respected, loved, and appreciated. So we need to give him that confidence, but in a different way. Plan everything in advance positive traits, for which you are grateful and respect your friend, mother, husband - and in any way let him know about it. Tell your mother’s friend directly or in secret how much you appreciate her - rest assured, she will convey everything as it should. Give your parents and friends a feeling of being needed and valued and they will calmly swallow “Your nonsense about losing weight,” but the degree of the relationship will not increase.
People with whom relations can be reduced to neutral, but whom you are forced to maintain (colleagues, boss) - There is a secret here why it is very advisable not to aggravate relations. Remember what I told you? We need like-minded people like air. As soon as the changes in your appearance and figure become visible to the naked eye - those who did not believe in you openly said that it was nonsense and you would lose control - they will simply hate you... if you dare to remind them of this. Believe me, they would like more than anything to know “how the hell you did it.” But they remember well how they mocked your containers in the smoking room and pride will not let them do this. But, as soon as they show you that you don’t remember this and offer help themselves, they will become your allies. Most The best way- lie that the doctor said to follow the regime or I’m trying for the sake of my husband or something else.
Pseudo-friends. These are the ones who shout the most: “fine Vova for being late!” These are not friends - these are drinking buddies. As you may have guessed, the world will not fall to the ground if you get rid of them quietly and without saying goodbye. At the same time, time will be freed up - for them you will always be busy. I can not. Dela, sorry.

manipulation of people. Conclusions.

So remember that you cannot succumb to manipulation under any circumstances. It is like a drug for a manipulator. Today your mother made you go off your diet and eat dumplings, tomorrow she will use the same method to force you to leave someone you don’t like. young man, choose your profession or job. By succumbing to manipulation, you yourself give your mother the remote control and take your own life. For the sake of your life, it is worth enduring temporary discomfort.
Well, as always, I look forward to your comments and stories about your experience in dealing with manipulators. subscribe to the channel, share this material with your friends, put your fingers up, and that’s all for today :) Be beautiful and healthy.

Many have heard the phrase “People are divided into those who ride and those who ride.” What kind of personality is this that recognizes weak spots another subject and can profitably play on them? What does it mean to manipulate a person?

Ability to influence an object

The manipulator has the opportunity to achieve his goal with the help of a person who does not even mean it. There is no need to attach physical strength. It can be assumed that this ability arose due to the manager’s weakness and reluctance to show aggression. The technique is based on playing with the mental characteristics of the victims, forcing them to act as if on their own behalf.

Origins of manipulation

The child is dependent on his parents and often suffers from their neglect of his needs. Some children stop demanding what they want, but there are also those who learn to play on the weaknesses of adults. For example, parents, coming home from work, do not pay enough attention to the child - dad watches TV, mom cooks dinner.

If this happens every evening, then the child begins to think about ways to return participation to his life. Suddenly he gets sick. Mom and dad are now always nearby, caring for and talking to the child. That is, the child is the center of attention. And he decides to use this method further. Another example children's department is throwing tantrums in crowded places. The child knows that mom or dad won’t be able to stand it and will end up buying the toy. Thus, the ability to manipulate people begins in childhood.

How does the manipulator work?

First, he decides on the victim and his goal. How to manipulate a person further? It is necessary for the victim to reach a state of vulnerability in order for it to collapse. peace of mind. To do this, the manager begins to play on the characteristics of the psyche and emotions of the individual, causing pity, fear, pride, greed, etc. Provocations can be both affirmative and negative. For example, an incentive through denial would be the remark: “It’s obvious that you don’t get angry easily. Well done!" And the question: “Are you upset that easily?” - is a provocation through a statement. Both statements play on the victim's self-esteem.

Working with destination settings

In psychology, there is a concept of “irrational beliefs” that can harm a person. The manipulator can also play on them. American psychologist Albert Ellis studied such installations and derived the ABC mechanism, which explains their operation. It deciphers as follows:

A - occurrence of events.
B - beliefs belonging to a specific person that are used to explain events.
C is the individual’s response under the influence of his attitudes, which is expressed both emotionally and behaviorally.

Personal beliefs can be divided into four groups: “I (you, the world) should”; attitudes that give rise to the illusion of a bad outcome; an opinion about what the world around should be like for an individual to feel safe; blaming themselves or other people.

How to manipulate people correctly

Here are the main ways to manage an individual.

Changing the information presented so that it is filled with a more beneficial meaning for the manipulator.
Hiding information. More often than not one is hidden an important part messages.
Presentation of information. This method uses two techniques - either dispensing the material in a stream, without pauses, or stretching it. In the first case, the addressee is forced to engage in systematization large material and highlighting the main thing. In the second, because the story is told in small parts, it becomes problematic to tie everything together and not lose the thread of the conversation.
The procedure for reviewing the material. Leaving the decision complex issue At the end of the conversation, the manipulator can achieve a beneficial result for himself without resistance.
Influence on the subconscious. This method uses, for example, bright musical accents during a tense moment in the film.
Interference. Here, along with the main message, another one is issued in parallel, designed to distort the information of the first one.
Inclusion in one material contradictory friends friend signals. For example, the difference between the content of a message and the intonation with which it is pronounced can confuse the recipient.

Language management techniques

There are also linguistic methods. They are also great at manipulating people.

Inability to verify the statement. In this case, the following expressions are more often used: “All men are bastards,” “It’s all our fault...” and so on.
An indirect reference to a norm conventionally recognized by society. For example: “You didn’t even pick up the trash after yourself!”
Disguise a statement as an assumption. An example would be the following expression - “Despite the fact that they are together, they were never fired.”
Link to some authority. For example, "Everything smart people they say...", "A good doctors they think..." and so on.
Ignoring the message. Answer with phrases that contain a different meaning.

Greater success can be achieved by using different techniques, varying them depending on the situation.

Control and consciousness

How to manipulate a person's consciousness? The technique we will consider is control built on certain verbal and paraverbal structures. In neurolinguistic programming it is called “reframing” or “redescription”. The point is to provide a new description of a phenomenon or a certain person in order to create a different attitude towards it. Using technology, you can induce in a person a feeling of rejection towards your friend with whom you were friendly relations. This can be achieved by talking about bad qualities and the actions of a certain individual, if you name him only at the end of the story.

Basic Reframing Techniques

“Redescription” methods explain how a person can be manipulated only by replacing words, part of the message. Let's take a closer look at them.

Technique for replacing one fragment with a new sentence or word verbal information. For example, instead of saying “I'm afraid,” say “I'm afraid.” Fear will no longer be as pronounced, and the individual will accept it as an indication to be more attentive and careful.
Rearranging intentions, or rather, truly revealing them. What does it mean to manipulate a person using this method? According to the basics of neurolinguistic programming, the purpose of all behavior is positive. And once you discover your true intention, you can choose more acceptable actions. For example, a wife is often dissatisfied with her husband and allows herself to raise her voice at him. When the husband tries to find out the reasons for this behavior, she cries or leaves. Working with his wife, a psychologist helps to discover the real purpose of hysterical actions - lack of attention, support, love. After pronouncing the intention, the spouse can dress up his behavior, for example, in a soft, gentle form and thereby try to achieve the desired again.
How to manipulate a person using metaphor? It is a parable or short story, in which there is a comparison with the situation considered. You can use the example from famous fairy tale or cartoon.
One more effective technique in “redescription” is the use of the criterion that the addressee formulated in the new statement. Case in point is a story about the sinfulness of a woman. When Jesus responded to the offer to throw stones at her, he replied: “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at me.”
Encouragement to look at yourself from the outside. Otherwise, change the recipient’s perception position. How to manipulate a person in this way? When the addressee condemns a certain situation, you can ask the question: “What if you found yourself in such circumstances?”
A technique of influence due to the inability of the brain to distinguish between fiction and reality. Asking questions like “How do you know...?” or “Why did you decide that...?”, the manipulator achieves the goal of the technique - the “correctness” of perceiving the situation is considered.

As can be seen from the description of the techniques, reframing relies on linguistic techniques that make it possible to consider circumstances in a new way. What does it mean to manipulate a person using this method? This is the reveal different paths achieving your true intentions, as well as the ability to look at actions from the outside.

How to manipulate a person using paraverbal and nonverbal communication

The main feature is the unconscious perception of information transmitted in such ways. Paraverbal communication plays an important role in control by changing timbre, tempo, voice volume, pauses between phrases, and so on. The nonverbal is distinguished by its influence on the addressee through gestures, postures, distance between opponents, etc. Great speakers were excellent at each method and knew the answer to the question of how to manipulate a person at a distance and more. For this purpose, emotional gestures, a soulful gaze, and a confident pose were used. A calm voice with a volume slightly above average can immediately distinguish a person with a leadership streak. If we talk about speed of speech, the speaker whose words flow in a dynamic, moving flow will have greater confidence. But this is relevant in the case when it is important for the speaker to disguise his influence on the listeners.

Master Manipulator

Eye contact with the audience can create an atmosphere of intimacy, understanding, giving the speaker the image of an erudite and experienced person. And, conversely, if you deliberately refuse to look your interlocutor in the eyes, you may get the impression of ignoring or distrusting him. Let's give approximate diagram actions of a manipulator, the goal of which is to force the opponent to accept his point of view.

The first step is to express confidence in your abilities and knowledge. This creates a leadership influence on the recipient.
The second step is to weaken the verbal flow of arguments once the victim has come under the control of the speaker.

Anyone can become a skilled manipulator. To do this, you will need to carefully observe the person, try to discover his weaknesses and hidden intentions, and then start the game.

Intelligence agents, psychologists, politicians, specialists from special business structures, and sometimes simple people use these mind manipulation techniques to achieve their goals.
Most often, the victim does not even suspect that he is being targeted. The most persistent ones give in easily and do everything you need from them.
We have prepared for you a description of these techniques, as well as technologies for protecting against each method of manipulation. Be careful! Add to yourself so you don’t get caught!
- Methods:

1. manipulation of feelings of guilt or resentment.
Using resentment or feelings of guilt is one of the surest methods of manipulating a loved one. The image of the unfortunate victim often gives its bearer “Dividends” in the form of unspoken powers and reparations. It happens that a person lives in the role of a victim for years and has already gotten used to it, but in those around him he no longer evokes sympathy and a desire to help, but, on the contrary, provokes irritation and even aggression.
Because in fact, no matter how strange it sounds, it is the victim who always ends up at the top of the pyramid in family system. Such a person influences others through their feelings of guilt. Over time, people involved in this game begin to directly or semi-consciously understand this manipulation and respond to it with aggression.
- Antidote.
It is best to develop a family rule to forget grievances. And do not remember each other’s past sins during family quarrels. It won't lead to anything good anyway. If your partner has offended you in some way, it is better to immediately discuss this issue. In a civilized and correct manner, without judging either what is happening or the partner.
Clarify the situation and adjust the rules of interaction to reduce the likelihood of a similar situation reoccurring. Let's say metaphorically: write down grievances in the sand, and carve joys in marble and granite. Make this the norm for your family and see how much easier and happier your life will become.
2. manipulation of anger.
There are people who lose their temper to force you to give in to them. These are manipulators who use what is called tactical anger.
- Antidote.
The worst thing is to follow the lead of such a person. After all, if his technique works, he will continue to do the same with you and others in the future. First, you will need your determination: you must not give in or allow yourself to be shouted at. Only if the manipulator continues to scream, leave. Continue to behave this way in any subsequent confrontations when he is angry, until the angry opponent learns to behave rationally with you.
In a relationship own anger, to which you will also often be provoked, it is worth developing a conscious position and rules in advance. Remember that when you are angry, you may even be able to say your most best speech. But there is a high probability that you will regret it later and will regret it for the rest of your life.
3. manipulation of silence.
People resort to significant silence when they want to show how upset they are. Otherwise, in their opinion, you will think that the problem is not important to them. People who often resort to silence over minor issues create an unpleasant atmosphere that can ruin work relationships. The silence is designed to make you feel guilty when you realize how upset the person is.
- Antidote.
Try to refrain from playing along with the Pouty One, because if it works once, the silent one will resort to a similar technique all the time. But don't be harsh with him; act as if everything is normal. Wait, let him break the silence himself. If you have discussions with a silent person, listen to him with an open mind. Explain to him in a friendly and reasonable manner what your point of view is based on.
Even if your interlocutor continues to sulk after your story, you will know that you did your best. You did not retreat only to avoid silence, the purpose of which is to force you to capitulate.
4. manipulation of love.
“If you love, then.” This manipulation is designed for close people who have a positive attitude towards the manipulator. The fear of being rejected and losing love has been strong in people since childhood. Many parents imprudently tried to manipulate their child, saying, “If you don’t Listen to Me/Do what I Say, etc., then I will Stop Communicating with You/Loving You/Caring about You, etc.”
- Antidote.
Love is not a subject of bargaining, but the result of a relationship. When noticing the exploitation of your feelings, think about how much you need it.
5. manipulation of hope.
Brilliant promises often hide behind them the desire for the immediate benefit of their author. The fairytale promises of the cat Basilio and the fox Alice were dictated by their desire to quickly get the gold coins jingling in Pinocchio’s pocket. Often, such “Songs” lead more informed citizens to bury cash “in the field of miracles in the land of fools.”
- Antidote.
An Arabic proverb says: “The wise man trusts in his own works, but the foolish man trusts in his hope.” Trust facts, not opinions. When making decisions, rely on real experience, and not on someone else's stories or assumptions.
6. manipulation of vanity.
Little hooks that cling tightly to an overinflated ego may seem like an innocent comment. Praise used in the hope of achieving your goals: “You write excellent reports! Surely, no one can do a better job with the one I want to offer you!” Or, on the contrary, a Challenge with a Hint of Incompetence: “It’s weak.”, “ You probably couldn't - Antidote.
Remember, did you plan to do what was proposed before presenting the provocative proposal? Check whether your plans match your interests and capabilities.
7. manipulations with irony or sarcasm.
The manipulator initially chooses an ironic tone, critical statements and remarks, seasoned with jokes or provocative comments.
- Antidote: it is impossible to make yourself offended without your own participation. If you don’t believe me, try to be offended just like that, at nothing in particular. Only if you do not succumb to the manipulator’s provocations, realizing or reminding yourself of who and what you are dealing with, will you be able to maintain clarity of thought, precision of formulation and emotional balance.

What does it mean to manipulate a person? Manipulation is various methods suggestions, influencing the opponent’s consciousness through the subconscious. Sometimes even to the point of hypnosis (for example, gypsy, psychotherapeutic hypnosis).

A person who knows how to manage people is a subtle psychologist by nature. He constantly empathizes with someone, but does not separate from self at all. Knows those areas of the psyche that can be used to play one’s roles and introduce useful thoughts. Knows how to effortlessly force someone to do something that the interlocutor does not do according to at will. They know how to read non-verbal information in order to manipulate people.

With skillful manipulation, information reaches motivational sphere opponent in a roundabout way - bypassing consciousness. The basic rule of how to manipulate people is that expressions are presented in a neutral form, or with emotional accompaniment that obscures main meaning. It lulls the feeling of criticism and protest. A conscious choice of words and their combination changes the perception of objective reality.

sensible, with developed logical thinking; It’s not easy to inspire anything into such individuals. They have a weak point: love for convenience, well-being, comfort and security. This is manipulation at the level of needs;
entertainment lovers are vulnerable targets, rationality and common sense they don’t have a priority;
excessive materialists quickly succumb to ideas that promise profit;
overly economical: they choose the cheapest and in large quantities.
narcissists are susceptible to manipulation with the help of compliments and flattery;
with clearly developed animal instincts - they are let down by the primitiveness of their needs: love for food, sleep, sexual relations;
conscious intellectuals take the side of the manipulator in order to understand his point of view;
With developed sense justice - it is enough for the manipulator to put pressure on the victim, focusing on conscience and a sense of duty;
increased self-esteem - it is easy to convince such a person that he deserves more;
greedy people succumb to tempting offers and promises;
elderly - such people are often gullible because they are not adapted to the framework of the new time and live in the circumstances of previous, more open conditions.

By manipulating people we need to understand a whole range of techniques for influencing the consciousness of other people. In fact, this is a whole art, which assumes that the manipulating person (manipulator), understanding the intricacies human psyche, finds individual approach to any person. At the same time, he constantly creates new image yourself to achieve your goals. Many people, unfortunately, do not even think that there are a huge number of manipulation techniques and techniques, and that with their help they are “managed” almost every day. This happens because manipulations, as a rule, are characterized by secrecy. Few people are able to master all the methods, but even a few are enough to guide action specific person in the right direction.

The manipulator must have an understanding of personality types and be sensitive to the mood and emotional state of people. And any of us can fall under the influence of such a person. But the difference in suggestibility (we are more or less influenced) depends on individual characteristics. There are even those who simply cannot be manipulated. Most often these are very strong and insightful natures with specific mental properties. And manipulators try not to get involved with them, because all their hidden intentions immediately become clear.

Any manipulator is to a certain extent a psychologist, because he determines the “potential” of the victim, his weaknesses, advantages and disadvantages of character and temperament. And as soon as the weak point is found, he begins to influence it. Such a point could be emotional condition, a state of falling in love, attachment, resentment, interest or belief. The main task of the manipulator is to determine what exactly is a point. The media are guided in their activities by similar principles ( mass manipulation), public figures, politicians and other high-ranking officials acting out of selfish interests.

By the way, in very accessible form Tatyana Vasilyeva, a trainer at Equator, talks about what manipulation is. Watch the video, after which we will talk about what psychology tells us about the manipulation of people.

Basics of psychology of manipulation. Psychological techniques for manipulating the mental consciousness of a person and the masses

The art of manipulating people. How to learn to manipulate people

Some individuals have the gift of manipulation from an early age - in childhood, most of us do this unconsciously, over time either forgetting about such skills, or developing and improving them. What does it mean to manipulate a person? Literally, this means direct or indirect influence that forces a person to act according to the manipulator’s plan.

Is it worth learning about such influence? Absolutely yes. The technique of inserting into the human subconscious allows you to inspire people with what you want, without using anything other than communication. In addition, knowledge about possible methods this kind of protection against unconscious submission to other individuals. The art of manipulating people is easy for some, but quite difficult for others, it all depends on individual qualities the nature of the potential manipulator.

Methods, techniques and methods of manipulation. (Modern psychotechnologies of manipulation)

Methods of counteraction may be different, depending on the skills of the object of manipulation. For example, as a result of “adjustment” (the so-called calibration in NLP), you can first stage in yourself a state of mind similar to that of the manipulator, and after calming down, calm the manipulator. Or, for example, you can show your calmness and absolute indifference to the manipulator’s anger, thereby confusing him and therefore depriving him of his manipulative advantage. You can sharply increase the pace of your own aggressiveness speech techniques simultaneously with a light touch of the manipulator (his hand, shoulder, arm...), and additional visual impact, i.e. V in this case we seize the initiative, and by simultaneously influencing the manipulator with the help of a visual, auditory and kinesthetic stimulus, we introduce him into a state of trance, and therefore dependence on you, because in this state the manipulator himself becomes the object of our influence, and we can enter into his subconscious has certain attitudes, because It is known that in a state of anger, any person is susceptible to coding (psychoprogramming). You can use other countermeasures. It should be remembered that in a state of anger it is easier to make a person laugh. You should know about this feature of the psyche and use it in time.

Manipulation is a hidden psychological technique with which you can force any person, I emphasize, anyone, to perform the actions you want against his will and interests.
But this standard definition manipulation. Let’s give this skill a broader and more practical definition. Manipulation is a psychological weapon that gives a person the same (and even greater) advantage over other people as other types of weapons. With the help of this weapon you can attack and capture, or you can defend and defend. It helps you survive and succeed. Good manipulator, that is, a person who skillfully masters hidden psychological techniques is much stronger than a person armed to the teeth.
Why? Because he can motivate the most different people to the actions he needs and thus solve any problems and tasks. And what problems and tasks can a person armed with a weapon, as we understand it, be able to solve? Only a few, right? The power of a weapon has its limitations. But manipulations have no restrictions. You can manipulate all people without exception, both the most ordinary and the most powerful and imperious. The only limitation is your own abilities. The more advanced your manipulation skills, the more big amount you can manipulate people. The manipulations themselves have no restrictions - any person can be manipulated.

He who masters the art of manipulation owns the world. Any intelligence agent, politician, media personality or psychologist will tell you this. And if there are those who study and use manipulation to influence the consciousness of the masses and control the psyche of individuals on professional level, then there must be those who are fluent in the art of resisting sophisticated manipulators. Below are 5 particularly tricky techniques for manipulating people and ways to counter them. These techniques are often used by intelligence agencies, the media, politicians, business structures, advertisers, show business figures or ordinary people who ceased to be such when they reached the level of God in manipulation.

Method 1. Emotional contagion

This technique is often used by politicians, businessmen, actors, and television people. It is designed to bypass the censorship of the human psyche, which builds barriers to the penetration of unwanted, unimportant or unnecessary information into the consciousness. In this case, the manipulative influence is aimed at feelings through emotional infection. By imparting vivid emotions to the information, you can easily reach a person’s heart, put pressure on his reflexes and instincts, and thereby force the “test subject” to experience the storm of passions that the manipulator needs. You can observe this technique in action in advertising, reality shows, election campaigns, sales and other situations that require emotional arousal of people.

Anti-manipulation: Be aware and be aware of what goals are pursued by people who spin you on emotions. Always keep in mind own goal, and if the offered service, product, entertainment, promise unconditionally satisfies her, consider emotional contagion a nice bonus. If the actions of the alleged manipulators lead away from your true intention- real manipulators. Stop and take a break to make a decision without pressure.

Method 2. Hidden commands for action

Clever manipulators hide their command in the request, allowing the person to think that he himself is in control of the situation. A clear example could become a Zen Buddhist parable.

The Zen teacher Bankei used wise conversations to attract adherents to his circle of followers. different sects, making them sincere and constant listeners. Dissatisfied with this circumstance, the priest of the Nichiren sect once came to Bankei during a conversation with his students, and said with ridicule:
- Bankei! Only those who respect you listen to you and obey your words. And I don't respect you! Make me obey you!
- Fine! Come closer and I'll show you that I can do it easily.
Nichiren walked arrogantly through the crowd of students and stood to the left, as the Zen teacher indicated with his hand.
“Not at all,” Bankei corrected himself. - Stand on the right. This way you will better see the essence of what is happening.
The priest obeyed with the same arrogance.
- Do you see? – Bankei turned to him again. “You obey me, and I haven’t even begun to present my arguments.” I'm sure you're thin and deep man. Sit in the circle of my students and listen.

Anti-manipulation: You must have your own clear “frame of reference”, which you can rely on even in unconscious decision-making. Established principles, beliefs, and life credo will provide your “backbone” with a core against which manipulators will break their teeth.

Method 3: Discussion Avoidance Tactics

In this manipulation technique in the form psychological weapon insult or accusation is used. the main objective– disrupt the discussion, which leads to an undesirable outcome for the manipulator. He provokes a conflict in order to irritate the interlocutor, to arouse in him destructive emotions and turn the discussion into a quarrel, leading away from the topic under discussion. The manipulator can use the following tricks: rude interruption of the opponent’s speech, raised tone, neglect, unwillingness to listen, disrespect. His provocative phrases may sound like this: “It is impossible to have constructive conversations with you - you only hear yourself!”, “Your demonstrative behavior makes the continuation of our conversation impossible!”, “I would enter into an intellectual duel with you, but it seems you are unarmed !”, “I do not intend to cherish your complexes! Calm your nerves - let's continue the conversation!

Anti-manipulation: Your main weapon is emotional calm. Respond to any attacks calmly, remembering that they can be provocations. The manipulator will remain “on the nose” if you leave his carefully thought-out and rehearsed speech without reaction (no answer, excuses, fussiness, etc.)

Method 4. Psychological “aikido”

This technique underlies the principle of perceptual contrast. The manipulator feeds necessary information in contrast to events, achieving a change in the opponent’s beliefs and his positive reaction to the circumstances. An ideal example A letter published by psychologist Robert Cialdini in his book The Psychology of Influence may serve as a guide.

He is a wonderful guy, we fell in love and are getting married. We haven't appointed yet the exact date, but the wedding will take place before my pregnancy becomes noticeable. Yes, mom and dad, I'm pregnant. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my friend caught a minor infection, which prevents me from taking premarital blood tests, and I inadvertently contracted the infection from him...
Now that I've told you what happened, I want to tell you that there was no fire in the dorm, I wasn't in the hospital, I'm not pregnant, I'm not engaged, I'm not infected, and I don't have a fiancé. However I get low scores By American history And bad marks in Chemistry and I want you to look at these grades with wisdom and leniency. Yours loving daughter Sharon."

Anti-manipulation: “He who has no criticism has no head!” - says English wisdom. Learn to approach everything critically. In this case, influencing you will be much more difficult and dangerous. Remember your value system, chosen positions, long-term priorities and always correlate them with the information received under the influence of manipulators.

Method 5. Herd instinct

The main goal of the manipulator who chooses this method is to force his opponent to adhere to the opinion of the masses. He can lead to this with the following phrases: “Everything normal people that’s what they do!”, “No sane person would argue with this!”, “What makes you better than others?!” etc. Thus the aggressor influences herd instinct, inherent in every person on genetic level. It is much easier to survive “in the herd”, and the opponent will instinctively begin to feel more confident when he acts like most people from social community to which he belongs. It is easy to manipulate those who want to live “like all normal people.”

Anti-manipulation: There is nothing worse than being like everyone else. Those who are afraid to leave the crowd have own opinion, become a “black sheep” or a bright individual, an average life. This time. Two - a signal from him in the form of generalizing marker words will help you avoid becoming a victim of a manipulator: everyone, no one, anyone, always, never, everywhere.

Video manipulation of people

Many people, often losers, subconsciously want to control others, to know how to manipulate people, changing their thinking and behavior to please themselves.

Of course, this selfish desire will not make them luckier and more successful, because... manipulation of people is just an unconscious compensatory strategy, which, as it seems to the manipulator, will raise his self-esteem and self-position in life, but will not create new loved ones, harmonious relations and destroy the old ones.

Today, on the site psychological assistance http://site you, dear visitors, will learn how to manipulate people constructively, without harming yourself or another person.

Manipulation solely for the benefit of one’s neighbor or general benefit, and not for the sake of one’s EGO.

How to manipulate people - different manipulations

People want to manipulate other people: women want to know how to control a man, men - a woman; others want to influence a person, to be able to convince him in their favor...

In the context of this article, we will of course be looking at techniques for how to manipulate people from a conscious, positive and constructive point of view and practical application manipulative techniques.

Techniques: how to manipulate people using verbal and non-verbal adjustments

Let's consider an effective and practical technique manipulation of people, which is often used in hidden, Ericksonian hypnosis and in NLP techniques(Neurolinguistic programming).

Verbal manipulation to manipulate a person
To learn how to manipulate a person, you need to use the technique of verbal (verbal) adjustment to him.

What does that require:
1) Direct observation of a person: his words and sentences, timbre and tempo of voice, intonation;

2) Synchronize your rhythm with the rhythm of another person;

3) Speak meaningfully and convincingly;

4) Monitor the constantly changing reactions of your counterpart;

5) Use “permissive” words, rather than commanding or prohibiting words (for example, instead of “must” and “impossible” - “can”);

6) Echo the other person’s words, repeat them (showing that you accept and support him), but do not “parrot”;

7) Be calm and relaxed yourself (relaxation technique);

8) It is advisable to direct your gaze to one eye of your counterpart, for example, left to left, while blinking as little as possible and looking as if through this person, focusing 30 centimeters behind him.

Nonverbal adjustment and manipulation
To make manipulation of a person more effective, in addition to verbal adjustment, non-verbal adjustment is used, i.e. body language, facial expressions and gestures (), partially copying it from the one you want to manipulate (not “monkey”).

After some practice and training (without this there is no way), you will understand how to manipulate people, using them together and congruently (i.e. words should not be at odds with nonverbal cues) both verbal and non-verbal adjustment.

Adjusting for another person relieves tension from him, relaxes him, removes automatic psychological defenses, and makes him open to suggestion, persuasion, influence on a person and other manipulations.

The scheme is simple: Adjustment - Adjustment - Adjustment - Manipulation, and again - Adjustment - Adjustment - Adjustment - Manipulation, etc., until desired results, as in changing thinking, emotions and, most importantly, behavior.

Using representational systems (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) to manipulate people:
Also, in order to manipulate people, it is a good idea to add human representative systems () to the above methods in order to know how he thinks and thinks.

However, remember that these manipulation techniques can only be used with conscious good intentions, only for good - not in any way

One of the types of communication between people is various manipulations of each other. This is not surprising, since since ancient times people have been achieving what they want using various tricks and techniques. Many people do this unconsciously, but there are special techniques, by studying which you will learn how to manipulate people, using them for your own purposes.

How to become a good manipulator

To learn how to interact effectively with others, you must work on yourself and acquire some skills:

Explore psychological characteristics of people

Learn to recognize varieties of characters and temperaments, to see. Some people are very emotional, they are easily angered, made to swear or cry. Other people are easily susceptible to feelings of guilt. You can skillfully play on this feeling to achieve what you want.

There are people with rational thinking who can be convinced of something by presenting them necessary facts and giving logical arguments. Knowing the psychological characteristics of your opponent, you will quickly understand how you can manipulate people, finding an approach to everyone.

Learn to control your emotions

Emotions are very important in the art of manipulating a person. They can both help and harm. Therefore, you need to be able to portray different emotions and feelings - anger, fear, calm, love, repentance.

An experienced manipulator must be able to maintain composure, laugh or cry in right moment. Make sure your emotions look natural, don’t overact it. Learn to control your facial expressions and voice.

Be a sociable person

Communication manipulations will help you achieve your goals. Sociable people easier to get along in society. You must be able to carry on a conversation with any person, regardless of his age and social status.

Create an image of a subject who can be trusted, and people themselves will open up to you. Be interested in people's opinions, show participation and care, and then you will be able to achieve a lot from them.

Learn to speak convincingly

One of important qualities manipulator - the ability to be persuasive. In order for your opponent to believe you and agree to your terms, you must present your offer to him in such a way that he simply cannot refuse.

Collect information about people

The more you know about them, the easier it will be for you to get what you want from them. The necessary information can be obtained both from the interlocutor himself and from his environment. People around you can often tell more about someone than they can about themselves.

Remember or write down interesting information, which may come in handy when you understand how to manipulate people for your own purposes.

Methods of manipulation

There are many in various ways manipulation of people. They can be used individually or used in combination.

The more methods you master, the wider your opportunities will be. You will be able to manipulate girls or boys, friends, colleagues.

Let's look at the most common techniques:

Play the victim

Manipulative communication often assumes a victim position. If you want to get something, then pretend to be an unfortunate victim.

Pretend to be a kind and trusting person who has been basely deceived or used. Show how bad you feel and make your opponent feel sorry for you. In most cases, he himself will offer you help, and your task is to take advantage of it.

Instill certain fears in the interlocutor, and then dispel them

Knowing your opponent's weaknesses, describe a situation in which his worst fears come true, and then please him by providing information that alleviates these fears. Having received stress and then experienced relief, it will be more difficult for your interlocutor to refuse you.

Example: a woman uses manipulation in communication with a friend: “Yesterday I saw your husband in a cafe with a young woman, beautiful girl. I already suspected her to be a mistress, but, coming closer, I saw that it was his niece,” and, without allowing my friend to come to her senses, she adds: “Could you give me your new earrings for the evening?”

Ask for a favor

Manipulation of people is often hidden in various requests. Ask your opponent to perform very difficult task, which he will clearly refuse, and then ask him for what he wants, which seems like a mere trifle against the background of the first request.

Example: a man wants to ask a friend for a car for one day and says to him: “You know, I crashed my car and now it’s being repaired. It will only be fixed in a month. Would you lend me yours for a month?” and after the expected refusal follows, he adds: “Then borrow it for at least one day. Very necessary".

Play on guilt

By manipulating a person, make him feel guilty. When people feel guilty, they are willing to go to great lengths to make amends. It doesn't matter whether your opponent is actually guilty, the main thing is that he thinks that he is really guilty.

Example: a guy manipulates a girl: “You refuse me to make love so often that I started having health problems. I’m afraid that I will now have to undergo treatment.”

Scare and offer protection

Manipulating people based on fear produces good results. Instill some fear in your interlocutor, and then offer him a way that will protect him from a negative situation.

Example: a bank employee, wanting to get a client to invest money, tells scary story about how easy it is to lose money if you don’t keep it in the bank. At the same time, he places emphasis on good reputation and the reliability of your bank.

Seduce

This method of manipulation is known to people very well. Convince your interlocutor that your offer is very tempting and beneficial for him, and if he does not take advantage of it, he will miss a great opportunity.

Example: stores use this method of manipulating people, luring customers with all sorts of promotions: “Hurry up to purchase the product at a record low price. Do not miss your chance! The promotion is valid for three days only!”

Portray the interlocutor as stupid and incompetent

Manipulating people often includes such harsh techniques. Convince your opponent that he understands absolutely nothing about the issue under discussion. Point out his stupidity and illiteracy. This will confuse him and suppress his will.

Suppress with authority

Pretend to be an authority in some area and convince your opponent that you are right. If you yourself are not an authority, then refer to the opinions of those people who are recognized as authoritative specialists in this field (doctors, scientists, experts). Speak convincingly, provide various facts and evidence, and then manipulating a person will bear fruit.

Portray strong emotions

If softer manipulation of people fails, portray anger, rage, indignation, despair or some other strong emotion. Start screaming. Try to get them to calm you down. Fearing your violent reaction, your opponent may make concessions.

Show your indifference

This kind of manipulation of people is suitable when you need to find out necessary information. In a conversation with your opponent, depict complete indifference to his words. Here the calculation is made on the fact that, wanting to assert himself and gain your attention, the interlocutor will post more and more information.

Use sarcasm

Choose an ironic tone when communicating with your opponent, trying to offend him with your sarcasm and ridicule. Make him nervous, provoke him to emotions, try to unbalance him. In this state, people are most easily suggestible, and manipulations in communication are easier to apply.

Use blackmail

This crude method is used by those who do not know how to manipulate people differently. You, too, can sometimes use blackmail, forcing your opponent to give you what you want and dictating your terms.

Almost all people use the blackmail method to one degree or another. Example: a mother says to her child, “You won’t go for a walk until you wash the dishes.”

Popular manipulation techniques

Experts in the field of neurolinguistic programming offer several simple techniques that can be quickly mastered and used in communication for the purpose of manipulation:

Three Yes Method

This technique of manipulating people is based on the fact that if a person says “yes” several times in a row, then it will be difficult for him to say “no”. Therefore, before asking for what you want, ask your interlocutor at least three questions to which he will definitely answer in the affirmative.

Choice without choice

Manipulation of people is especially successful when the illusion of choice is created. Build sentences in such a way that it is difficult for your opponent to give a negative answer. Example: A salesperson says to a customer, “Will you buy blue jeans or black ones?”

Repetition

The human psyche is structured in such a way that it is difficult for them to perceive information the first time. Therefore, use manipulations during communication such as repeating the information that you want to convey to your interlocutor.

Example: A clear illustration of this method of manipulation is television advertising, which is repeated many times a day.

Adjusting to your interlocutor

When communicating with someone, try to unobtrusively copy his gestures, posture, facial expressions, and intonations. It is advisable to express yourself in the same phrases with which he expresses himself. By becoming outwardly similar to your opponent, you increase his unconscious trust in you and facilitate the possibility of manipulation in communication.

Using these simple psychological techniques with practice, you will learn how to manipulate effectively. Competent manipulation of people will help you quickly get the desired benefits in partnerships or personal relationships. In addition, knowing these tricks, you yourself will be able to recognize the manipulator and protect yourself from him.