Many people live their lives without even knowing what exactly they want to do. They go to jobs they hate, do projects they hate, and report to a person they hate with all their hearts. And they don’t even think about the fact that things could be different. After all, we have one life, and it’s clearly not worth spending it on disgusting work. Decided to change everything right now? This is great, but then you have the problem of every person. What do you really want to do? It seems that yesterday you understood this perfectly well, but today you are confused. If you can’t decide, then we will help you find your purpose. Just follow our tips and you can find the best activity for you.
Think about yourself
Show healthy selfishness. Don’t try to help everyone at once, but take care of yourself. How can you decide what is interesting to you in life if you are constantly busy with other people's problems? Forget about those around you for a while. Ask yourself: if you were completely alone right now, without friends and family, without a job you hate, and you were not limited in your choice, then what exactly would you like to do? Don't be afraid to be selfish. If you don’t put your interests above the public, no one will.
Don't regret anything
Don't be ashamed to be selfish. This is your life. The time has come for you to choose a path that will please you, and not your environment. Don't regret anything. If you constantly regret things you did or didn't do in the past, then you are simply standing still. Don't live in the past. Live for today. Live your future.
Think about what you need most
We don't always understand what we really need in life. And it is extremely difficult to find out. Just sit down and think about it. What is important to you? Family? Freedom of expression? Financial well-being? You can make a list of priorities if that helps.
Identify what's bothering you
You can only really decide sensibly what you want to do if nothing is holding you back. If you are upset about something or your head is full of things to do, then you will never be able to choose wisely. Plus find out what exactly irritates you about this moment. No need to say that office work annoys you. Think about what aspect of your job is giving you anxiety. Are you annoyed by your boss? What is your schedule? Your position? Or all at once? Now think about how you can change this? Perhaps you are satisfied with your current situation, and changing just a couple of its aspects will make you the happiest person.
Now find out what brings you pleasure
Pleasure is the key to happy life. If you enjoy life, then you are not just living your years, but filling them with meaning. Pick a couple of moments in your life when you were truly happy. What brought you pleasure? Trips? Communication with children? Campaign management? When you understand what truly makes you happy, it will be easier for you to choose your future path.
Tell everyone around you about your dream
There is no need to hide from your family and friends that you have decided to give up everything and go towards your dream. Tell your friends and family about everything. If you share your thoughts, they will definitely support you in your endeavors and help you to the best of their ability. Also you will get a lot interesting ideas. After all, one head is good, but two are better.
Get in a good mood
Life doesn't always go according to the script we write. There is no need to fall into apathy if something doesn’t work out for you. Instead of grieving and doing nothing, get up and continue what you started with renewed vigor. Not immediately, but success will come to you. This is just a slight delay, not a complete failure. Do not give up. Just think positive thoughts and do what you have dreamed of all your life.
Just don’t think that finding your purpose is so easy. Many people search for it all their lives. The main thing is not to stop and keep looking. One day the muse will descend upon you and help you find your life’s work. Until then, try it. Try without sparing yourself. Try it various professions and classes. After all, without trying, you will never know whether it is for you or not.
Do you think you have found the ideal activity for yourself?
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I think I’ve finally found a method for finding what you love to do.
It sounds funny, but it’s true! Very often we work in jobs that we seem to like, but inside ourselves we understand that this is absolutely not what we would really like to do.
So, why don't we leave our jobs and follow what we like to do?
Reasons 2:
1. We don't know what we like to do.
2. Fear. We lead a lifestyle that needs to be maintained. We have bills to pay, families and loved ones to take care of. We are incredibly bored that there will be no stable income, we are afraid of what others might think or say about us, etc. Just Fear.
The main reason is 1. Indeed, many people simply don’t know what they like to do. Or they are afraid to “open their eyes” and look at themselves.
STEP 1: Don't hesitate! You will find the answer. No matter how long it takes you. There will be an answer.
STEP 2: _Write_ down a list of SKILLS (1st column) and INTERESTS (2nd column) in two columns.
It's important to write it down. And do it with with full dedication. Sitting in solitary confinement so that no one can distract you. Without looking at the computer, at people, without listening to music and without doing anything else. Just dive into yourself and make a LIST. Let it be ridiculous. Well, you like to collect tags from clothes - write it down. Write whatever comes to mind! Make it! OK? Right now. Put everything the fuck aside, take a piece of paper and do it. Otherwise, why are you reading this? To spend another piece of your life? This will not make you any better, much less me. Just don’t ask unnecessary questions, but make a list. We are looking for what we love to do. It is so? :) Come on, write already!
After you make your list, think:
1. What interested you at work. On this one, on the last one... on the one before last :)
2. Remember, if you go into book Shop, which section do you naturally gravitate towards? And which one? What attracts you?
3. Ask your friends, girlfriends, acquaintances - what skills and interests they see in you. Perhaps you will discover a lot of new things for yourself. M?
4. How do you spend the lion's share of your free time? What are you looking forward to doing?
5. What did you like to do when you were five to ten years old?
6. What were you praised for?
7. What skills, interests and abilities did your parents and teachers mention?
8. Why did you write down these particular skills and interests and not others? :) Maybe it's because you like it? Maybe because the very thought of it makes you sick?
So, Skills: They have a little secret. You need to develop what you are strong at. And don't say you don't have them. Everyone has skills. It just never occurred to you to sit down and think about it and write them down. Using your skills, you will be able to get a starting point, a catalyst.
Now a few words about Interests: Simply put, you need to love what you will do. By turning on interest, you trigger another form of mechanism that does not allow you to leave the “distance”. After all, the path does not always go along the highway; there are also winding mountain paths.
You may notice a simple skill thing might revolve around one or two skills. The same can happen with interests. This is fine.
STEP 3: Now let’s slightly modify the question “What do I like to do”, because... it is very broad, to “What would I enjoy doing every day that combines my skills and interests, and, most importantly, brings significant benefit to people?”
Why add a value-added part? Because it can lead you to discover a way to make money doing what you love. Ferstein?
STEP 4: So, the hardest part is over. Let's move on.
We look at the list that we managed to compile, choose one idea that seems more attractive. It may be possible to combine several ideas into one. The main thing is to end up with one that will bring the greatest satisfaction not only to you, but also to other people.
How do you know that you have finally managed to find what you love to do?
It's simple - if "it" makes you feel good, and you're very cool... No, you're just PISSED from this topic - then it's yours.
Now all that’s left to do is take action.
Don't think about the complexities and difficulties of the process. Just start moving forward little by little no matter what. And everything will work out!
Most mature adults ask questions about their purpose. The prerequisites for this are unrealized ideas and a person “crushed” by his parents in childhood. What to do with your life? Any child will easily answer this question that he, for example, wants to become an astronaut or a military man, and an adult, in turn, will be confused and will not be able to give an affirmative answer. This is due to the fact that children have a more clear idea of what they want from life.
Factors that prevent a person from deciding what to do in life
"Who do I want to be? What do I want out of life? Why can't I understand what my main purpose is?" There are a lot of questions, and they are all related to the fact that a person is unable, for some reason, to fully understand himself and his feelings and desires. This may be due to a number of social and psychological factors Everyday life individual, personal qualities, habits and social circle.
Diffidence
Constant barriers that stand between a person and his goal in the form of doubts and uncertainty provoke suppression of the desire to realize his unrealized potential. “Will I be able to? What if I don’t succeed?” Sometimes the cultivation of insecurity occurs at the stage of growing up, where the individual first encounters failures, misunderstandings and lack of support from loved ones. Doubts about own strength significantly slow down not only the implementation of plans, but also personal growth person.
Features of the educational process
All our successes and failures, addictions, fears and dreams come from childhood. Most parents, not listening to the wishes of their children, instill skills and abilities that are completely unusual for them. For example, a child, when asked “What do you want to do in life?” answers that he wants to be an artist. His answer is perceived by his parents as something unrealistic, something that will not bring any material wealth or career growth. As a result, the child encounters complete misunderstanding on the part of adults, and his potential becomes unrealized.
However, there are also cases when parents try to organize their child’s leisure time as much as possible, forcing him to develop comprehensively. Of course, an adult who has knowledge about various fields activity, will be able to achieve a lot, but in most cases the person still does not know what to do because he forgets his original desires and aspirations.
Environment
Statement, peculiar herd instinct sometimes it closes a person’s true capabilities and abilities. For example, several people from close circles enter the same college/institute/university and pull the person along with them. Under certain personal qualities he won't be able to resist. The result of studying without any special desire, and so “for the company”, is the choice of the wrong profession, the wrong job. As a result, an acute shortage is developing positive emotions, work becomes routine, and a person, living a boring life, gray life, begins to ask the question: “What should I do in life in order to regain satisfaction from my own activities?” But he does not find an answer, because his “I” has already deeply hidden the capabilities and talents of a person, so as not to resist his choice.
Stereotypes
Each person has his own opinion about what happiness should be. But some agree on one thing: happy man- this is the one who has achieved everything in life, who lives without denying himself anything. People’s stereotypes have so developed that without material wealth, no one can consider themselves successful and accomplished. In this regard, a person, in his desire to understand what to do in life, more often strives to get rich, to become someone whose material possibilities are practically limitless, rather than to develop spiritually. No, this is not bad at all, but it is worth considering that money cannot bring full release of potential, since each of us is individual. For example, a person who is more inclined to creativity (drawing, singing, playing the musical instruments and so on) is often not endowed with a certain commercial spirit, which brings all his attempts to achieve material well-being to naught.
"What do I want to do with my life?" Problem this issue the fact that not everyone is able to put things into pieces own desires and dreams. Most people lack specificity in defining purpose. Most often this is due to urgent needs, the satisfaction of which comes first. Here, an adult can be compared with a teenager, guided by the desires and preferences of parents, relatives and friends. What is the best thing to do in life - the answer lies in the subconscious of each individual; for this you need to ask yourself motivational questions:
- What values are prerogative in your life (no more than three)?
- Achieving what goals is important to you at the moment (no more than three)?
- What do you like to do?
- What would you like to do if you found out that you have six months to live?
- What is your most cherished dream was not implemented due to fear of failure?
- Where would you spend a large amount of money won from the lottery/lotto/poker?
- What dream would you pursue if you were 100% sure of success?
Development of intuition
By developing intuitive abilities, in the future you will be able to listen to your own subconscious, which gives us hints and the right answers. Then, understanding what to do in life will not be a problem for you - you can easily determine your calling and begin direct activities.
Books
Reading is something that people do in life in almost every social stratum. Books - great way understand yourself. Read as much as possible, but not everything. Be selective in your choice of literature, take into account your preferences. No need to force yourself to learn complex works- this way you will develop a dislike for reading books.
Systematization
Making lists will help you decide what to do in life. For example: shopping list, planning the day. Systematize desires, attitudes towards people and things, work and hobbies. List of your positives, negative qualities, as well as skills and abilities, will allow you to understand what occupation is best for you to do, in what field to work.
Responsibility
Know how to take responsibility for your actions without blaming loved ones, the government and society as a whole for your failures. Responsibility allows you to realize that life and the choices you make depend only on you, which means that only you can know how to act correctly in a particular matter. What should you do in life? First of all, learn to organize yourself and your activities.
Right choice
In any situation, rely on your own subconscious. Do you want to understand whether the right choice was made? Close your eyes and mentally imagine that the person who is now next to you is not there. Did you feel good or bad? This will be the correct answer. Visualize the consequences of your choice - this will help you avoid irreparable mistakes.
Pause
Pausing before making a life-changing decision allows you to think things through more carefully. You should not act based only on emotions and momentary impulses - this is fraught with a negative outcome, regrets and uncertainty about future achievements. Do you want to change your job? Weigh the pros and cons, consider the outcome of your actions.
Exercises to Reveal Hidden Potential
Thanks to the classes, you can easily decide on your true purpose. Various psychological techniques are often difficult to use, so it’s easier to use visualization of plans, desires and future actions. This does not require additional skills and knowledge - everything is very simple, you will need Blank sheet paper, pen or pencil and a little patience.
Extract and analysis of hobbies, favorite activities
Relax and think about what activities you know that you enjoy the most. Write down at least 20 known species hobbies or professions. For example: floriculture, playing the piano, writing articles, dancing, sports, cooking, etc. Analyze ready list, put next to each item the time that you devote (are ready to devote) to this or that type of activity during each day, as well as your preferences in the form of pluses.
Take a close look at your list. Near one (several) points you can see the largest number of advantages and time - this is your unrealized destiny.
Visualization of material well-being
Imagine that your life has changed dramatically, and now, in order to provide for yourself or your family, you no longer need to sit all day in an office, stand at a machine in a factory, run around with a courier bag - in general, you don’t need to work. A bank account has been opened in your name with a round sum, which is enough for a long comfortable existence, and the children study in prestigious academy. Introduced? Now think about what you would do if you had a lot of free time and material wealth. All possible options record it on paper and analyze it. Your further actions are the beginning of working on yourself in this particular type of activity.
Fate man's way trial and error, self-education and other steps. I can do everything, I want everything, but how do I know what choice to make?
1. Take two hours of our time (undivided, personal and quiet) and sit down at the table
It is important. Not on the sofa, not on the bench, but at the table. We write down everything that we like to do and that interests us. Let it even be a stream of thoughts. It is important to write EVERYTHING.
Now put the paper aside and go to bed. The next day we looked at it soberly, analyzed it, and crossed out the outright nonsense. Now it’s easier - there is a basis and ways of direction.
2. Read, listen, visit
Over the course of a week or two, try reading/listening/visiting several places/events related to your chosen areas. Breathe the local air, feel the atmosphere.
3. What don't you like?
Let's go the opposite way and decide in the same way what we DO NOT like to do. For example, come to work with your mom/dad/other relatives and understand whether it’s yours or not. Did you see? I do not like? Hood. There is already something.
4. Internship
Any office/magazine/work place of your dreams is always in need of interns/volunteers. IT'S SO SIMPLE. Exactly. You just need to dial the authority’s phone number and ask about the internship conditions. Trying is not torture. Such an experience will “sober up” your ideas about future work in the best possible way and make it clear whether this is “it” or not.
5. Travel a lot and often if possible.
A closed space, the same circle of friends, communication often leads us to a dead end. There is an explosion in your head, a burst of inspiration and energy. You see how people live far and near, what they do.
6. Talk to older people
Age is not as important here as it is important life experience. Especially the experience of those who are already successful in their business and have achieved something. Ask for advice, be interested.
7. Club of interests
There are a lot of organizations for students/youth not only based on their interests, but also in a general direction, so to speak. There you can find like-minded people - one, have a good time - two. Three - often the people around us make us understand who WE really are.
8. Read a lot
9. Although it’s the ninth, it’s a very important point(!)
Please think with your own head. Not mom/dad/family/maternal aunts, but your own. YOU get to live and love what you do. This is your ambition, life.
10. Make contacts
This is now called “networking” (from “network”, translated from English). Your interested and capable friends now will be in the future successful people, entrepreneurs, specialists. Be nicer to everyone. Really try to help others whenever possible. Such relationships with people are the building blocks of the future. What you do now is what you do later.
11. We know how to relax
You can’t always search hard for your calling. Have you thought about it? Doesn't work? Let's take a break and just relax.
12. But here’s the catch (see point 9) - listen to your family and friends
13. Test
Take a career aptitude test. I'm not laughing now. Thousands of psychologists and other specialists developed these types of tests for a reason. Every question and your answer to it has meaning. Whether to follow the test results or not is your choice.
14. Exhale, there’s not much left
So, let's try to get out of our comfort zone and do something we haven't tried before. We come up with 2-3 classes a week maximum and expand our horizons. Imagine that you are a guinea pig and a doctor at the same time. Observe your reactions to certain objects/activities/activities. Draw conclusions.
15. Last and most important
Are you ready? Be yourself. Seriously. Stop copying anyone if you have done it before. Someone's experience may not suit you, someone's views may differ from yours, and that's okay. Everyone has his own path. It is important to go through it yourself from beginning to end.
Instructions
If time permits, go on vacation. Or sacrifice a couple of days off in your favor. Rest. Get some sleep.
Take a notepad, a laptop - whatever you like. Write down the title: "What do I need in this ?" Write down all the ideas that come to mind. Perhaps at first there will be none at all or they will seem unworthy of attention. Write it down anyway. Don't rush anywhere. This is a serious question. Write everything. Starting from a phone you spotted during a trip to the store and ending with great achievements: learn foreign language, get another, get married, build a house, achieve fame, etc. Don't limit yourself to 20-30 points. The more you write, the better.
Cross out unimportant, momentary desires. Mark the most significant ones for you. Make adjustments along the way. You should not try to become a TV star if you have never performed on stage and have never held a microphone in your hands, and you also have good diction big problems.
Count how many points you got. Look at them. Determine which ones are really important to you and which ones you can hardly imagine without. No one is rushing you. If you don't have any meaningful ideas, take a break. Don't try to squeeze some solutions out of yourself. Pick one small item and do it small step in this direction.
Make as many daily changes in your life as possible. Change your clothing style, go somewhere you haven't been before. Try new dishes, hobbies. Fill your life with new experiences. And the answer to the question will definitely come.
If you still haven't decided what you need from life, then you were simply on the wrong road. It's time to explore new paths. And on one of them you will definitely find the answer to your question.
Sources:
- how can I understand that you are trying to get me
“Love is blind” is not an old saying, but a bitter truth that for thousands of years those who are the last to learn about betrayal have been consoled. Wives, husbands, girlfriends and companions ask themselves - how could I not notice that he/she was cheating on me? Do we always know where to look? What to look for? What actions should make us wary and stop being so in love, and therefore so naive?
Instructions
Does your partner talk on the phone longer than usual? When he takes his cell phone, does he always have business outside the room where you are? He looks at the ringing phone, sees it, but doesn’t pick up, but lets it go to voicemail? Has he started carrying his cell phone with him everywhere, including the bathroom? If this behavior is repeated more and more often, you should “remove” pink glasses"and take a closer look at your partner.
Pay attention to how your companion uses the Internet. Does it wait until you lie down to sit, does the laptop take away the room, does it close the browser when you enter the room? Decide for yourself if you should check it out email and website browsing history or you want to be “above this” even if he is hiding something from you.
Many argue that it will always make itself felt in the cooling of sexual relationships. The person who cheated will supposedly avoid contacts of this kind. But here’s the thing - deceivers who want to hide their “march to the left” are well aware of this popular “sign” and sometimes with redoubled ardor they go to bed with you in order to avoid all sorts of suspicions and accusations. You should also not discount the fact that in a new affair, your partner may develop new sexual appetites, habits and fantasies. Perhaps they can't wait to meet their crush and therefore fulfill their desires with you?
Has your partner become more picky about his appearance? Men want to look more energetic, women are starting to dress sexier. Usually indifferent to weight issues, appearance, hairstyles, fragrances, did your partner suddenly begin to pay a lot of attention to this? If he is not very interested in whether you like these changes, most likely this is being done for someone else.
Pay attention to how your partner spends money. If large sums of money suddenly start disappearing somewhere, and he can’t explain to you where they are going, maybe it makes sense to look into his finances? Pay attention to the receipts in his pockets; if you have the opportunity, look at the printout from his bank card. Restaurant bills you haven't been to, flowers and decorations you haven't received, sexual underwear, which you didn’t see on it - what other evidence do you need to understand that you are being deceived?
If suddenly your partner’s co-workers or friends begin to feel uncomfortable in your presence, look away, look at you with pity, clearly stammer in conversation and think about what was said, doesn’t this mean that they know something about your life that you don’t know? You?
Your partner has suddenly become moody, his mood changes sharply, he has become more aggressive when talking to you, often in different shapes asks you questions - what do you think about non-monogamous marriages? Are you really sure that you can carry love for one person throughout your entire life? Are you happy with him? This may not be exactly what it is, but these are signals that something is seriously wrong with you.
Your companion has new interests and tastes that seem completely out of character for him. Has he become interested in ballroom dancing? Is she interested in chess? Did he start to think that he shouldn’t wear lipstick? She's saying that a self-respecting man should spend two hours every day at the gym? Why do you think this would happen?
He's just being picky! Yesterday he was satisfied with the way you dress, cook, kiss, what you think about the situation in Pakistan and what films you watch and books you read, but today he cannot please him. It may well be that your companion is simply looking for a reason to break off relations with you so as not to feel guilty for deceiving.
Video on the topic
Helpful advice
Usually we feel very well that we are being deceived, but we don’t want to believe it so much that we close our eyes to everything. If you are not a jealous person, if you have always trusted your partner completely, but now you have begun to feel some discomfort, then perhaps you should trust your intuition?
Sources:
- how to understand if someone is cheating on you in 2019
Life is an exciting adventure that can be colored... different colors. Sometimes it is joyful, pleasant and memorable, sometimes it is sad and dull. But it is precisely these differences that make it interesting. And there are many things worth living for to make the space even more entertaining.
A person is not always able to live for himself. How often do you meet people who are ready to work only for the sake of others, to cook something tasty only for guests or loved ones, to perform some actions in order to win someone else’s heart. It is very easy to satisfy one’s needs, because a person needs a roof over his head, food and comfortable clothes. But if someone is nearby, then much more needs arise.
Life for loved ones
Almost all people are looking for their other half. And a couple is needed not only to be close, it carries the meaning of life, it fills every day with significance. When there is a person nearby, you want to please him, make his world brighter and more exciting, and this pushes the person to work, to achieve, to take action. It’s not for nothing that men often look for a muse, and women dream of having a baby. These people bring order into existence and give significance to what is happening.
Having someone nearby allows you to share what you have. And if available large number people, and also boast about what others don’t have. Social games They allow you to affirm yourself, strive for more and fill your life with meaning. After all, an expensive car would have no significance if it were not desirable to everyone. After all, it performs all the functions of an ordinary car, but it is the presence of other people, their desire to get it, that makes it important and helps to achieve such purchases.
Life for impressions
There are people who choose life for adventure and emotions. They all strive for more experiences, looking for new sensations. Their world seems boring to them, and the constant search for new things makes them feel better. Having experienced something, they dream of strengthening this feeling, making it even brighter and more interesting. These are people, they enjoy the views, visit different countries. For them, emotions come first.
Extreme people live the same way. They constantly try to get as much adrenaline as possible; they are not even afraid of the possibility of dying. After all, the power of the moment is much more important. They jump with a parachute, raft down mountain rivers, master bungee jumping, and again and again subject themselves to overloads. Impressions can be found in different areas. Some people live in search of new tastes, others strive to try maximum amount physical sensations or even fears.
Living for goals
Living for the sake of goals can also exist. A person comes up with a certain peak for himself, and then simply goes to it. The meaning of existence comes down to achieving what you want, in order to get everything you want. This is a very exciting life, but it is important that the goal is not final. If you achieve everything that was dreamed up, it can become very sad. When achieved, there may be a loss of the desire to exist.
Women are monogamous by nature, and understand treason men can do it with great difficulty. This is a deep wound that cannot be fully healed, and even after 10 years it will resonate with them with acute pain. But, experienced women they say and family psychologists they agree that betrayal is not a reason for separation. Moreover, it is not a reason for divorce. But how do you understand a traitor whom you trusted, whom you loved, and he reciprocated your feelings, and then easily and brazenly destroyed all the best between you.
You will need
- Patience, endurance, love for your man.
Instructions
You found out about the betrayal. There is a dull emptiness in my head. The main thing is to try to think sensibly. Don't keep this shock to yourself. Of course, you can’t tell this to anyone. Even my closest friend doesn’t want to. Then write all your thoughts on paper. Psychologists say this helps a lot with stress.
Release your emotions. Holding them back is as harmful as thoughts. This does not mean at all that you need to attack your “traitor” with your fists. Just let off some steam. A Russian person will always find how to do this.
Now you are ready to constructive solutions. Situations are different. Sometimes you have to continue to pretend that everything is fine. In any case, you have time to understand yourself and what happened. If you really love a person and do not want to break off the relationship, you will have to understand and accept him. We are all just people with our weaknesses.
Try to understand your man's reasons. Perhaps this is your fault too.
Strong love. This happens. Just on to the other. And he cannot understand where to move - towards her, who looks like a dream, or towards you, a quiet and reliable haven. Habit syndrome. Long living together, dulling of all senses, desire for new sensations.
The classic reason is that he was very drunk and had trouble thinking. You can understand. Try drinking yourself into unconsciousness. Very loving. And you knew this from the very beginning. So what did you want from him? Loyalty to the grave?
Did this