The phenomenon of deprivation. Deprivation - what is this concept? Sensory deprivation in humans and its consequences

Deprivation refers to psycho-emotional state a person in which he is in a stressful state due to the inability to satisfy his usual needs.

Each of us cannot do without standard things in everyday life: good sleep, nutrition, communication with family, and fulfillment at work. If for some reason barriers to their implementation appear, this brings psychological or physical discomfort. As a result, consciousness changes. The lack of social and sensory stimuli leads to personality degradation.

How does deprivation manifest itself?

Depending on the type of disorder, there may be various signs. But there are a number common symptoms, which indicate a disease:

• constant feeling of dissatisfaction;
• aggression;
• increased anxiety;
• depressive states;
• decreased activity;
• loss of interest in familiar things.

In itself, depriving a person of his usual benefits does not provoke a disorder. Deprivation is caused by the attitude of a particular person to certain circumstances. For example, if you limit the food intake of a person who practices fasting or a special diet, then this will not become stressful for him. But if the same thing is done to an individual who is not used to such things, it will cause him physical or emotional suffering. Deprivation is the psychological inability of an individual to adapt to circumstances that have changed.

Types of deprivation

There are two forms of deprivation:

• absolute - when an individual really does not have the opportunity to satisfy his usual needs for food, communication, recreation, education;
• relative - a type of disorder in which a person does not have factors for the development of deviations, since all the necessary benefits are present. But he is not able to enjoy the realization of these benefits. The relative form is a borderline state between the norm and deviation.

If we carry out another classification, then it is customary to distinguish the following types of deprivation:

• sensory - in this case there is no opportunity to receive satisfaction from impressions (no stimulus). The stimulus variety includes sexual (lack of intimate relationships), visual (for example, when a person is placed in a dark room for a long period), tactile (excluding tactile contacts);
• paternal - typical for children who are forced to grow up in a dysfunctional family;
• cognitive - exclusion of the opportunity to develop in cultural sphere, in knowledge of the world;
• social - the inability to realize one’s development in ordinary society due to a certain isolation. It is typical for people who are in prison, on compulsory treatment, for children who are brought up in orphanages and boarding schools.

Emotional deprivation

Emotions play an important role in shaping personality. They shape the character of behavior and help to adapt to society. Throughout its development, an individual changes in the emotional sphere, adapting to various circumstances. Emotions help a person understand his role in life and influence consciousness, thinking and perception.

Emotional deprivation leads to the fact that the individual does not perceive the entirety of the social sphere, and the area of ​​cognition becomes limited. Such factors cannot but influence normal psychological development.

There is an opinion among psychologists that the fundamental moment for the formation positive attitude to life is the conscious desire of parents to have a baby. In this case, a beloved baby is born, in whose subconscious the correct perception of himself and those around him is already embedded.

Next important stage Personality formation becomes the period of early childhood. If at this time he is surrounded by people who cannot sufficiently show the correct emotions, prerequisites arise for the development of deprivation disorders. healthy psychological atmosphere in a family, the emotional connection between parents and child is the key to the formation of a positive attitude towards surrounding things and circumstances. Emotional deprivation is typical for those people who were brought up in an environment that was too emotionally volatile. It leads to social hyperactivity and difficulties in establishing stable interpersonal relationships.

If in childhood the person was deprived emotionally, another type of deviation is formed. Various complexes develop, a feeling of melancholy and loneliness appears. Emotional hunger also drains the body physically. Such a baby begins to lag behind in development. If a person appears in his life with whom a close emotional connection is established, a feeling of attachment appears, the situation can change dramatically. A striking example can be the kids from orphanage who end up in a family where a healthy psychological climate reigns. If at the stage of forced isolation from society and lack of attention they experience sensory deprivation, then in the case of acquiring full-fledged parents, healing occurs over time. Physical and mental indicators improve, their perception and attitude towards the world changes.

Maternal mental deprivation

There are situations in life when, for some reason, a child finds himself without a mother. For example, the mother died or she abandoned the baby after his birth. These are classic types of maternal loss that have a deprivative effect on human development. But other options for separation from mother can become a catalyst for the development of deviations. Among them, the most common are:

• due to difficult childbirth, the child is temporarily separated from the parent;
• the mother is forced to leave for a certain period of time without the baby (on a business trip, to study, etc.);
• mother goes to work too early, entrusting raising the child to grandmothers and nannies;
• the baby is given to kindergarten at an age when he is not yet psychologically ready for it;
• Due to illness, the child is admitted to the hospital without his mother.

The above cases are open maternal mental deprivation. There is also a hidden form. It is characterized by psychological tension in the mother's relationship with the child in her physical presence. This is a wrong relationship. In what cases can they be observed?

• when children are born into a family with a small age difference, and the mother is simply physically unable to pay attention to the elders as needed;
• if a woman suffers from a physical or mental illness that prevents her from fully caring for her baby and communicating;
• when there is an atmosphere of tension or hostility between parents in the family;
• if the mother is overly enthusiastic scientific approach in raising a child and absolutely does not listen to either his intuition or individual characteristics your baby.

Maternal deprivation is always experienced by children who were born as a result of an unwanted pregnancy, which influenced the formation of attitudes towards them.

Psychologists note that the foundations for the development of pathological conditions are often laid in children under the age of 3 years. This is the period that is especially important for establishing emotional contact with the mother. If this does not happen, the risk of auto-aggression, depression and lack of perception increases outside world. In adolescence and mature age such a person does not perceive himself and is not able to build normal social relations with other people. There is a version that maternal mental deprivation may underlie a number of autism spectrum diseases.

Paternal deprivation

Ideally, both parents should be involved in raising a child. After all, the influence of each of them is special and irreplaceable. Physical deprivation can be harmful to emotional development human being is no less than the maternal form. What situations influence the formation of negative life dispositions?

• father leaves the family;
• there is a man’s physical presence in the house, but he does not build any emotional connections with the baby (indifference);
• the father realizes his ambitions in relation to the child;
• the family is disturbed role functions: a woman takes on the inherent masculine characteristics and becomes a leader who actively suppresses masculinity. AND reverse situation, in which the father performs the functions of the mother.

Paterial mental deprivation leads to the fact that the child does not correctly perceive sexual differentiation, becomes emotionally vulnerable and incompetent. When a psychologist begins to work with a patient, he always tries to analyze childhood period and the period of his growing up. As practice shows, many individuals experience an accumulation of ancestral deprivations. And the next generation becomes even more incapable of building relationships correctly, which leads to problems for their children.

Sleep deprivation

There are different types of deprivation. There is a special group that includes sleep deprivation.

To live a full life in full health, a person must get enough sleep. If, for forced or voluntary reasons, he is regularly deprived of sleep, this will immediately affect his psychological and physical state.

We all know cases when, due to urgent work, exams or business trips, we have to sacrifice several hours of rest. If this is a one-time event, it does not pose a danger to the body. But if this happens constantly, the lack of sleep affects your well-being. During rest, the hormone of joy is actively produced. Lack of sleep provokes sleep deprivation. Work is disrupted endocrine system, metabolism slows down. The person begins to suffer from excess weight, headaches and depression.

At all times, one of the most cruel punishments was considered to be depriving an individual of the opportunity to sleep. This was achieved by creating conditions under which rest is unrealistic (loud music, bright light in the face, inability to take at least any sleeping position). If a person is deprived of sleep (or he voluntarily refuses it) for several days in a row, this is called total sleep deprivation. How does this affect the body?

• one day without rest - decline physical strength, decreased response;
• two days - motor activity and mental abilities are impaired;
• three days - severe tension headaches begin;
• four days - hallucinations appear, suppressed volitional sphere. This is a critical phase of deprivation, after which irreversible processes can occur that pose a threat to life.

No matter how paradoxical it may sound, but with the help of sleep deprivation you can... treat. There are practical studies that have established that artificially depriving a person of the sleep phase can help him get rid of deep depression. This effect is explained as follows: lack of sleep - stress. Begins active production catecholamines, which are responsible for emotional tone. This method of shock therapy restores interest in life. Sleep deprivation also successfully relieves insomnia. Of course, such treatment methods must be carried out strictly under the supervision of a specialist.

Against the background of studying children who experience difficulties in social, intellectual, and interpersonal development, groups of children are identified whose causes of personal and intellectual problems are caused by deprivative conditions of upbringing and development.

The term “deprivation” is widely used today in psychology, defectology and medicine. In everyday speech it means deprivation or limitation of opportunities to satisfy vital needs. Factors influencing the occurrence of a number of psychological problems in children include deprivation and loss.

Deprivation is the lack of necessary means to achieve a goal or satisfy needs. Distinguish between external and internal deprivation

2. V. Aucklander. Window into the world of a child. Manual of Child Psychiatry. M., 1997.

3. I. A., N. V. Furmanova. Psychology of a deprived child. M., Humanitarian edition. Vlados Center, 2000

4. P. T. Khomentauskas Family through the eyes of a child M. 1997

In psychology there is such a thing as deprivation. It means a mental reaction to an unsatisfied need. For example, a girl was abandoned by her boyfriend and she is overcome by emotional deprivation, because she begins to experience a deficit of emotions, miss what was before, but no longer receives it. Many such situations can be cited depending on the types of deprivation. But the most important thing is to know how to prevent such a condition or reduce its manifestations to a minimum.

Definition

The word came to us from Latin language. Deprivation is translated as “loss”, “deprivation”. This is what happens: a person loses the opportunity to satisfy his psychophysiological needs and experiences negative emotions. It could be resentment, anxiety, fear and much more. And, in order not to get confused in definitions, it was decided to reduce this state of loss into a single whole. This is how the concept of deprivation arose, which covers all possible emotions. The essence of deprivation is the lack of contact between desired responses and the stimuli that reinforce them.

Deprivation can plunge a person into a state of severe internal emptiness, from which it is difficult to find a way out. The taste for life disappears, and the person begins to simply exist. He does not enjoy food, his favorite activities, or socializing with friends. Deprivation increases the level of anxiety; a person becomes afraid to try new behavior patterns, trying to maintain a stable state in which he is comfortable. He falls into a trap of his own mind, from which sometimes only a psychologist can help. Even the most strong personality sometimes it “breaks” under the influence of a particular situation.

Many people confuse deprivation with frustration. After all, these states definitely have something in common. But these are still different concepts. Frustration refers to the failure to achieve satisfaction of a certain need. That is, a person understands where negative emotions come from. And the phenomenon of deprivation is that it may not be realized, and sometimes people live for years and do not understand what is eating them. And this is the worst thing, because the psychologist does not understand what to treat.

Kinds

Delving deeper into the topic, we will consider different types of deprivation in theory, and also provide examples for a complete understanding. Classification involves dividing according to the type of need that was not satisfied and caused deprivation.

Sensory (stimulus)

From the Latin sensus - feeling. But what is sensory deprivation? This is a state that includes all stimuli associated with sensations. Visual, auditory and, of course, tactile. A banal lack of physical contact (handshakes, hugs, sexual intimacy) can provoke a severe condition. It can be dual. Some begin to compensate for the sensory deficit, while others become aggressive and convince themselves that “they didn’t really want it.” A simple example: a girl who was not loved in childhood (her mother did not press her to her chest, her father did not roll her on his shoulders) will either look for tenderness on the side in promiscuous sexual intercourse, or will withdraw into herself and become an old maid. From one extreme to another? Exactly. Therefore, sensory deprivation is very dangerous.

A special case of this type is visual deprivation. It happens rarely, but, as they say, “aptly.” A person who has suddenly and abruptly lost his sight can become a hostage to visual deprivation. It is clear that he gets used to doing without him, but psychologically it is very difficult. Moreover, the older a person is, the more difficult it is for him. He begins to remember the faces of his loved ones, the nature around him and realize that he can no longer enjoy these images. This can lead to prolonged depression or even drive you crazy. The same can be caused by motor deprivation, when a person loses the ability to move due to illness or an accident.

Cognitive (informational)

Cognitive deprivation may seem strange to some, but it is one of the most common forms. This type of deprivation consists of deprivation of the opportunity to receive reliable information about something. This forces a person to think out, invent and fantasize, viewing the situation through the prism of his own vision, giving it non-existent meanings. Example: a sailor setting off on a long voyage. He has no way to contact his relatives, and at some point he begins to panic. What if your wife cheated? Or did something happen to your parents? At the same time, it is important how those around him behave: whether they will calm him down or, conversely, egg him on.

In the TV show "Survivor" that used to air, people were also in cognitive deprivation. The editors of the program had the opportunity to inform them about what was happening on mainland, but they did not deliberately do this. Because it was interesting for the viewer to watch the characters being in an unusual situation for a long time. And there was something to watch: people began to worry, their anxiety increased, and panic began. And in this state it was still necessary to fight for the main prize.

Emotional

We have already talked about this. This is a lack of opportunities to receive certain emotions or a turning point in a situation in which a person was emotionally satisfied. A striking example: maternal deprivation. This is when a child is deprived of all the delights of communication with his mother (we are not talking about the biological mother, but about a woman who is able to give the baby love and affection, maternal care). And the problem is that nothing can replace this. That is, if a boy was raised in an orphanage, he will remain in a state of maternal deprivation for the rest of his life. And even if in the future he will be surrounded by the love of his wife, children and grandchildren, it will not be the same. Echoes of childhood trauma will be present.

Hidden maternal deprivation can occur in a child, even if he is raised in a family. But if the mother constantly works and does not devote time to the baby, then he will also need care and attention. This also happens in families where, after one child, twins or triplets are suddenly born. All the time is spent on the younger children, so the eldest is plunged into forced maternal deprivation.

Another common case is family deprivation. It includes deprivation of communication not only with the mother, but also with the father. Those. lack of family institution in childhood. And again, having matured, a person will create a family, but he will play a different role in it: no longer a child, but a parent. By the way, paternal deprivation (deprivation of the opportunity to be raised with a father) is gradually becoming normal due to free relationship to sexual intercourse. A modern man can have several children from different women, and, of course, some of them will suffer from a lack of fatherly attention.

Social

Limitation of the opportunity to play a social role, to be in society and to be recognized by it. Psychosocial deprivation is inherent in older people who, due to health problems, prefer not to leave home and while away their evenings alone in front of the TV. This is why various circles for pensioners are so valuable, where grandparents at least just communicate.

By the way, social deprivation can also be used as punishment. In a mild form, this is when a mother does not allow an errant child to go out with friends, locking him in a room. In severe cases, these are prisoners who spend years, or even life, in prison.

Features in children

In psychology, deprivation in children is often considered. Why? Firstly, because they have more needs. Secondly, because an adult who is deprived of something can somehow try to compensate for this deficiency. But a child cannot. Thirdly, children do not just experience deprivation hard: it often affects their development.

A child needs the same needs as an adult. The simplest thing is communication. It plays a key role in the formation of conscious behavior, helps to acquire many useful skills, develop emotional perception, increase intellectual level. Moreover, communication with peers is very important for a child. In this regard, children of rich parents often suffer, who, instead of taking the child to kindergarten, hire him a bunch of governesses and teachers at home. Yes, the child will grow up well-mannered, well-read and polite, but social deprivation will not allow him to find his place in society.

Deprivation can also be seen in pedagogy. Its difference is that this need is not felt in childhood. On the contrary: sometimes a child does not want to study, it is a burden for him. But if you miss this opportunity, then severe pedagogical deprivation will begin in the future. And it will be expressed in the lack of not only knowledge, but also many other skills: patience, perseverance, desire, etc.

Manifestations

External methods of manifestation are the same as in adults. And parents or educators must correctly recognize the child’s emotions in order to understand whether it is a whim or one of the signs of deprivation. The two most recognizable reactions are anger and withdrawal.

Anger and aggression

The cause of anger may be dissatisfaction with physiological or psychological needs. They didn’t buy candy, didn’t give him a toy, didn’t take him to the playground - it would seem like nonsense, but the child gets angry. If this state is repeated, it can turn into deprivation, and then anger will manifest itself not only in screaming and throwing things, but also in more complex states. Some babies tear out their hair, and some may even experience urinary incontinence as a result of aggression.

Closedness

The opposite of anger. The child compensates for deprivation by trying to convince himself that he does not need this toy or candy. The baby calms down and withdraws into himself, finding activities that do not require an outburst of emotions. He can silently assemble a construction set or even just mindlessly move his finger along the carpet.

Any unsatisfied mental deprivation in childhood can have Negative influence for the future and develop into serious psychological trauma. Practice shows that most murderers, maniacs and pedophiles had problems either with their parents or with society. And all this was the consequences of emotional deprivation in childhood, because this is what is most difficult to compensate for in adulthood.

The psychological problems of deprived children have been considered by many psychologists. Diagnostics and analysis made it possible to understand what exactly is gnawing at children of this or that age. Many works are studied by contemporaries, who build their own methods to help parents and their children. Interesting are the deprivation descriptions of J.A. Komensky, J. Itard, A. Gesell, J. Bowlby.

Sleep deprivation

Another common deprivation that affects many modern people. In simple terms, this is a banal lack of sleep. It is noteworthy that some people deliberately do this, spending their nights not in bed, but in nightclubs or near the computer. Others are forced to lose sleep due to work (workaholics), children (young mothers), and anxiety. The latter may be caused for various reasons.And if a person does not sleep because increased anxiety, he finds himself in a vicious circle. At first he is anxious and therefore does not sleep. And then sleep deprivation leads to anxiety.

Sleep deprivation in depression refers to a forced state. Because a person may want to sleep, but cannot. That is, he is in bed, then sleep does not occur due to depressive thoughts that arise. To overcome both conditions - sleep deprivation and depression - just get some sleep.

Help

Not every deprivation syndrome requires the intervention of psychologists. Often a person can cope with this condition on their own or with the help of family and friends. There are plenty of examples. To get out of social deprivation, it is enough to sign up for dancing or another hobby group. The problem of lack of intellectual resources is solved by connecting to unlimited Internet. The deficit of tactile contacts disappears after the establishment of a love relationship. But, of course, more severe cases require a serious approach, and without global assistance (sometimes state level) is no longer possible.

Helps cope with the consequences of childhood social deprivation rehabilitation centers, where the child receives not only attention and care, but also communication with peers. Of course, this only partially covers the problem, but it is important to make a start. The same applies to organizing free concerts or tea parties for retirees who also need communication.

Psychology also fights deprivation in other ways. For example, compensation and self-realization in other activities. Thus, people with disabilities often begin to engage in some kind of sport and participate in Paralympic competitions. Some people who have lost their arms discover a talent for drawing with their feet. But this applies to sensory deprivation. Severe emotional deprivation is difficult to compensate for. The help of a psychotherapist is needed.

Deprivation - mental condition, arising as a result of such life situations where the child is not given the opportunity to satisfy basic (vital) mental needs in sufficient measure and for a sufficiently long time.

Basic life mental needs child - the need for love, acceptance, self-esteem, physical intimacy, communication, support, etc.

Developmental disorders in a child brought up in deprivation conditions occur at four levels:

Level of bodily sensations (sensory level);

The level of understanding of the world in which he lives (intellectual or cognitive level);

The level of establishing close emotional relationships with someone (emotional level);

The level that allows you to comply with the norms and rules of society (social level).

According to latest research, disturbances at the level of bodily sensations begin in the child in the womb, when she has a negative attitude towards her pregnancy and does not change her habits, especially those associated with the abuse of alcohol or other psychoactive substances. Abandoning a baby and placing him in an orphanage or psychological rejection of him after childbirth catastrophically reduces the number of physical, auditory, visual contacts with the mother or her substitute. This causes the child permanent state psychological discomfort, contributes to disruption of the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness, causes excessively restless, poorly controlled behavior. Subsequently, trying to calm himself down and tone his state, he begins to sway with his whole body, accompanying the swaying with a monotonous howl. Trying to reduce the level of psychological discomfort, he often resorts to masturbation. He has a poor sense of the boundaries of his body, so he either clings to everyone or tries to refuse contact. Without feeling his own boundaries, the child does not feel the boundaries of another person, someone else's space, someone else's property.

Such children suffer from various types of allergies, especially those associated with skin rashes. They have difficulty developing hand-eye coordination (for example, they crawl a little or in a different direction, then “write like a chicken with its paw”), lack of concentration and restlessness. A primary feeling of one’s own failure and a tendency to experience constant psychological discomfort, external danger, instability, fear and resentment are formed.

Developmental problems at the physical level also negatively affect his understanding of the world in which he lives, and therefore his intellectual development. A child begins to develop well when the world seems safe to him, when, crawling away or running away from his mother, he can turn around and see her smiling face. Therefore, a child raised in an orphanage or in a family where parents have no time for him crawls less, and therefore less actively, compared to children from prosperous families, masters the world around him, makes less trial and error, and receives less developmental stimuli from environment. As a result, his intellectual development is delayed.

He starts speaking late, often constructs phrases and pronounces sounds incorrectly.

Social level. Most importantly, he is prone to building “catastrophic models of the world”, where continuous troubles await him, and he is unable to do anything to avoid or cope with them. The world is incomprehensible and disordered, so it is impossible to anticipate and regulate what is happening from the outside. Someone else, but not him, controls his destiny. As a result, the child develops an image of himself as a helpless little loser whose initiative may have consequences. negative result for all. He develops basic beliefs such as “I won’t succeed anyway” and “I can’t be loved.” That's why he doesn't try to cope where he could.

Social level (level of compliance with society norms).

The social level is the top of the entire child development pyramid. A child from a family, especially a prosperous one, recognizes his belonging to his family, clan. He clearly knows who he is, whose son (daughter). He knows who he is like and whose behavior he repeats. A child from a prosperous family, when asked: “Who are you?” answers: “Boy (girl), son (daughter) of such and such.” A child from an orphanage to the question: “Who are you?” answers: “Nobody,” “orphanage resident.” He does not have positive model building relationships in the family and team, although his whole life passes in a group. Often, a child in an orphanage plays roles that do not allow him to successfully socialize: “clingy,” “aggressor,” “ negative leader", etc. In the orphanage group, children live according to their own norms and rules. For example, the one who is stronger is right; it is impossible to ensure one’s own safety (norms and rules are close to hazing). Find a strong one, do everything he orders, and then you can survive. Everyone who is not in the group is strangers (enemies), don’t get attached to anyone, they will leave you anyway, etc. After leaving an orphanage, it is extremely difficult for children to live independently, have a family, raise their own children, and hold down a job.

Such an image of oneself is constantly confirmed in the information from the outside that the child selects from the entire stream. He is overly attentive to negative information about himself and often does not believe in positive information and ignores it.

The “catastrophic model of the world” leads to the following distorted ideas about oneself and the world:

Ideas about one's own unattractiveness;

Ideas about one’s own “danger”;

Violations of faith in others;

People who love me mock me;

Other people are dangerous;

Violations of trust in the world;

Public places such as schools, hospitals, social services are dangerous, where I may be offended or rejected

Crime is normal.

A deprived child perceives the world around him as hostile, and other people as capable of causing him pain.

Mental deprivation leads to the development of a feeling in a child own helplessness, hopelessness and loss of feeling self-esteem and significance.

Emotional level. On emotional level the child experiences various attachment disorders. Having experienced an early separation from the mother, regardless of whether he remembers it or not, the child finds it more difficult to form close relationships with others emotional relationships. He is afraid to trust, afraid of the pain of loss, tries to protect himself from it by closing himself off from the world. Often he simply does not understand well the meaning of the facial expressions of others and interprets them as hostile. It is especially necessary to pay attention to the fact that the stern look that parents usually use to influence the child’s behavior does not have the desired effect on the adopted child and provokes aggression.

Therefore, various aggressive manifestations are observed in his behavior. These include the desire to never admit to anything, even the obvious.

The child is inclined to blame himself for the vicissitudes of his fate, to believe that it was his “bad” qualities that led to the fact that his parents were unable to raise him, or to the fact that something happened to them. As a result, he may offend others or act defiantly, thereby provoking punishment or retaliatory aggression!!!

This especially often begins to manifest itself when the child tries to form an attachment to the host family. He begins to feel guilty for betraying “his own” and MAY provoke his adoptive parents to punish him, thereby supporting the fantasy of his own ideal parents. Wanting to regain lost love, the child tries to take something valuable for another. According to our observations, if a child builds satisfying relationships in the host family, then he can go through a situation of theft in the family; if the relationship is cold, he actively begins to steal from other adults, for example, from a teacher. In this case, the child is able to form a secondary attachment to members of the foster family.

To do this, he needs time and patience from his parents.

Conditions for building relationships with children with developmental deprivation disorders:

* Providing a sensory-rich environment;

* Filling the need for security;

* Providing autonomy;

* Respecting the boundaries of the child’s personal space;

*Game priority.

“The impact of separation and loss on child development”

Losses are generally divided into two categories:

1. Losses that are integral part human life

2. Losses that are unexpected for us, about which we think that they will pass us by in life.

Unexpected losses are often more painful because they are not perceived as a normal part of human life.

Losses can also be divided into three types:

The first type: this is the loss of health, both physical and mental.

The second type: the loss of a loved one, either through death, divorce or infertility, when the expected baby is never born.

The third type: loss of self-esteem when we feel shame or pain.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

The circumstances that bring a child into a new family are unexpected losses that have very serious consequences for children. They are often accompanied by loss of health (due to violence or mistreatment), loss of loved ones (parents, siblings, other relatives), loss of self-esteem (children begin to blame themselves - they were bad and that is why their parents abandoned them or died).

The pain of loss can be the reason why a child gets stuck at one stage of development and does not move forward or even goes down a step in his development.

Adopted children have often experienced more than one loss. Before they had time to recover from one grief, another one fell on them. Constant losses reduce a child's ability to cope with stress. Any hint of a situation of loss is very powerful emotions associated with previous losses. Children and adolescents who find themselves in a new family (even in a family of relatives) are separated from their families and lose the world to which they are accustomed. They will suffer. They experienced a loss of trust when their parents failed to give them what they needed to develop or were abusive. Some children lived in institutions for orphans, other families. The pain of loss or separation from loved ones is a trauma that can cause a child to become stuck at one stage of development and not move forward, or even move down a notch in their development.

THINGS TO REMEMBER

When adopting a child, you must anticipate that his past experiences will influence his life in your family. The child may have developed certain behavioral patterns that helped him to experience neglect or abuse in the past. But these stereotypes are not suitable for ordinary life. Society may view such behavior as inappropriate or disruptive. Some children who have experienced separation and loss may be angry, depressed or even hostile

tuned in because of the pain they have endured in life. If you see evil, look for pain.

Some children look so obedient that it is simply impossible to believe. They seem charming and carefree. It's just a different path they've chosen to deal with the pain. It will still come to the surface, but a little later, when the child feels safe.

When placed with a new family, the child again begins to experience the trauma and pain of loss. Once in a family, the child seems to experience a “flood” of his difficult memories, which he finds difficult to cope with and about which he constantly, obsessively tries to tell his parents.

Happening. At the age of 6, Christina found herself in a new family after leaving an orphanage. In the orphanage she was a very obedient and carefree girl. I liked it right away new family. While walking to the new house, she laughed merrily, glad that she was taken into the family. But when Christina crossed the threshold of the apartment, she began to cry. When they tried to calm her down with the usual means, she threw herself on the floor and began to fight in hysterics. She couldn't calm down for a long time. The girl “suddenly” remembered that a year ago she witnessed the murder of her mother. She remembered how it happened, her horror (she was alone with the corpse for 3 days). No one responded to her cries. The neighbors are used to someone always making a fuss and shouting in the apartment. The trauma was so severe for the girl that she “forgot” it, as psychologists say, “repressed” it from her memory. In the orphanage, the girl never remembered what happened to her. She experienced an “echo of trauma” in her family. The help of a specialist was needed to help the girl complete this injury.

When placed in a foster family, a child needs to adapt to changes in his life. Adjustment occurs through the revival of traumatic feelings associated with separation and loss. In a sense, the child goes through the stages of experiencing the trauma again, which affects his behavior.

STAGES OF EXPERIENCE OF TRAUMA

1. DENIAL OF WHAT HAPPENED/SHOCK

Temporary escape from reality - “This didn’t really happen. The desire to “bury your head in the sand.” “I will wake up and find that everything is fine.”

Grouchiness, irritability.

Sometimes a child may feel overwhelmed intense rage, which can be directed at anyone, but most often - at those closest to you, a doctor or God.

3.SADNESS AND DEPRESSION

"Coma in the throat" syndrome.

Common symptoms of depression: loss of energy, apathy, malaise.

Loneliness - “No one can understand me.”

Guilt – “I must have done something wrong.”

4. FEAR OF “TRADE” WITH GOD

A lot of worries and doubts about my actions: “If I hadn’t been so bad, then my mother would have remained alive,” “If I had behaved well, they wouldn’t have taken me away from the family,” “If only I had done this and that.” anyway, this wouldn’t have happened.”

A lot of doubts and mistrust: “Are teachers, doctors (and nurses) telling me the truth?”

Empty dreams - attempts to find a magical solution.

Thoughts like “If only...”: “If only I were an ideal son (daughter),” etc.

“Deal” prayers: “Lord, if You fix the situation, I promise...”

5. PERSISTENCE

Reluctance to move away from sadness and feelings of loss.

The feeling that if you stop grieving, the connection with the deceased relative (or with the relative from whom you were separated) will be severed.

Feelings of guilt due to coming to terms with the loss. Humility is betrayal. Negative emotions are perceived as the only connection with the deceased (or with the one from whom they were separated).

RECONCILIATION WITH LOSS

The child can already calmly build relationships with new family- the bitterness of loss still remains, but does not prevent him from living on.

Peace of mind appears again.

There is no lump in the throat every time the child remembers what he experienced.

NEED TO REMEMBER

Grieving Process:

This is a normal part of human life;

Affects feelings, which in turn influence behavior;

Requires that new parents (adoptive parents, guardians, adoptive parents, foster carers) and specialists have joined forces to help children cope with their feelings and behavior;

There is a certain path that must be followed when faced with loss. As children walk along this path, certain signs appear that indicate where the child is in this process. Children also have certain needs that need to be treated very carefully and met at every stage of the feelings they experience.

NEED TO REMEMBER

If in an orphanage a child, protecting himself from heartache, as if “forgets” many tragic events from his life, then, finding himself in a situation of family relationships, trying to become attached to the family, he begins to experience a “flood” with his traumatic memories.

The child talks and talks, he can neither stop nor switch to something else, talking about such situations from his past life. For example, about his mother’s prostitution, his parents’ alcoholism, the murders and suicides that he observed in his life and with which an ordinary family never collides. These stories frighten family members and make them feel confused. How to react in such a situation? It is best to let the child speak out. Unspoken memories will remain with him and “turn” into fears that will be very difficult for the child to cope with. It is advisable to listen to the child, nodding sympathetically from time to time, but without commenting on the content of his story. You can hug the child if he allows it. After the story, you need to tell him that you understand him, you see how upset he is, how hurt he is, that you will do everything possible to help him cope with this pain, that he can count on you. It's a good idea to set aside a space in the house and agree on a time when you can talk calmly with your child.

NEED TO REMEMBER

For a foster child, it is critical that foster parents demonstrate 24 hours a day, seven days a week that:

* their feelings and emotions are very important;

* they will be taken care of;

* their needs can be expressed and accepted positively;

* Foster parents and other adults can be consistent and trustworthy.

Why are children unhappy? What will happen to an unloved child when he grows up? Do all parents see when “something wrong is happening” to their child? And most importantly, how to help both children and parents?

Oksana Kovalevskaya, psychologist:

What is deprivation?

Psychologists and psychiatrists meet with the child and his parents, his family, most often when the child’s distress manifests itself in any of the pronounced painful manifestations: fears, obsessions, neurotic reactions, negativism, aggressiveness, sleep disturbances, eating disorders, enuresis, encopresis, a whole range of psychosomatic diseases, problems with communication, studies, problems of gender, role identification, deviant behavior(running away from home, theft) and many others.

And, despite the fact that each individual such case, each individual family will have its own special history, the experience of deprivation revealed in the anamnesis and the lack of compensation for their consequences become common to them.

It seems to us that it is extremely important to talk about deprivation today. What it is?

The term “deprivation” itself became widely known in the 40-50s. The twentieth century is a period of mass orphanhood. Studies of those years showed that children deprived of maternal care and love in early childhood experience delays and deviations in emotional, physical and intellectual development. By the way, at the same time the concept of “anaclectic depression” appeared: many babies who suffered separation from their mother in the very first months of their lives soon stopped responding to communication, stopped sleeping normally, refused to eat and died.

In modern scientific literature the term “deprivation” (from the Latin deprivatio – loss, deprivation of something) is actively used and means “that mental state that arises as a result of life situations where a person is not given the opportunity to satisfy his critical needs sufficiently and for a sufficiently long time." *

That is, accordingly, we can say that deprivation is the deprivation of a person of something essentially necessary for him, which necessarily entails some kind of distortion (destruction, devastation) of the life of this person.

The range of phenomena that fall under the concept of deprivation is quite wide. Thus, psychology traditionally considers different types of deprivation, noting various forms of their occurrence - obvious and hidden (partial, masked). There are food, motor, sensory, social, emotional and many other types of deprivation.

Difficult luggage

In life, of course, different types of deprivation are intricately intertwined. Every time it is important who is undergoing deprivation (age, gender, current condition, current life situation, biographical “baggage” of a person, his general psychophysiological stability, etc.), as well as the properties (strength, duration, severity) of the deprivation event itself, what level (somatic, mental or psychological) will always be affected devastating consequences one or another type of deprivation, to what extent (these consequences can cover the entire scale of mental deviations: from mild characteristics of reaction to gross violations of the development of intelligence and the entire personality structure, and a whole range of somatic changes), and whether the consequences of deprivation will be reactive or delayed over time - many courses special disciplines is devoted to these issues. And although there is no single view on the problem, many questions have not yet been fully developed, yet all researchers without a doubt agree on one thing: deprivations experienced in childhood have the most powerful pathogenic effect.

Childhood is a special, most subtle and fragile period when, in a sense, the “fabric” of a person’s entire subsequent life is formed. And therefore everything becomes infinitely significant, What happens and How is happening.

We never know how much strength a child comes into life with., but you should know that any deprivation harms him that any deprivation is spending vitality, waste of vital energy. We must understand well that the entire subsequent adult life of our child will bear traces of childhood deprivation (the essence is a history of distortions).

A child is an extremely unfree creature. He comes into the world, and this world is revealed to him by his parents, his family. And it is the family that becomes the space that can, in part, already contain deprivation risks for the child; it is the family that becomes the space that can absorb (mitigate) and compensate for existing and occurring deprivations, or, on the contrary, will intensify, aggravate and prolong them , or even completely - to generate and multiply.

Undergoing deprivation, the child experiences a state that can be compared to what a person experiences, standing on the edge of a sheer cliff, when suddenly something pushes him... And he flies... In absolute solitude... What is there below? Will they catch you? Perhaps everything will turn out well. But moments of such a flight are enough to undergo something terrible. And exactly this kind a child gets the experience of experiencing something terrible all alone with special strength in situations maternal deprivation, which could otherwise be called love deprivation.

About maternal deprivation

In what life circumstances does maternal deprivation occur? Of course, in all cases obvious loss of mother– situations when the mother abandons the child (in the maternity hospital or later), in situations of the death of the mother. But, in fact, and especially for children infancy(0-3 years), any actual separation from mother can have a strong deprivation effect:

– postpartum situation, when the child is not immediately given to the mother;

– situations of long-term departures of the mother (on vacation, for a session, for work, to the hospital);

– situations when other people (grandmothers, nannies) spend most of the time with the child, when these people change like a kaleidoscope in front of the child;

– when a child is on a “five-day week” (or even on a “shift” - monthly, annual) with a grandmother or another person;

– when the child is sent to a nursery;

– when they send it to kindergarten prematurely (and the child is not yet ready);

– when the child ended up in the hospital without his mother and many others.

Hidden maternal deprivation– a situation where there is no obvious separation of the child from the mother, but there is a clear insufficiency of their relationship or certain imbalances in this relationship.

This is always the case:

- V large families, where children, as a rule, are born at intervals of less than 3 years, and the mother, in principle, cannot give each child as much attention as he needs;

– in families where the mother has serious problems with her own physical health(cannot fully provide care - lift, carry, etc.), and/or with mental health (with depressive states there is not a sufficient degree of “presence” for the child, with deeper mental pathologies - all child care from “A” to “Z” becomes inadequate);

– in families where the mother is in a situation of prolonged stress (illness of loved ones, conflicts, etc., and, accordingly, the mother is in a continuing state of depression, excitement, irritation or dissatisfaction);

– in families where the relationships between parents are formal, hypocritical, competitive, hostile or downright hostile;

– when the mother follows harshly various kinds patterns (scientific or unscientific) of child care (which are usually too general to suit a particular child) and does not feel the real needs of his child;

– this type The first child of the family always undergoes deprivation when the second one appears, because loses its “uniqueness”;

– and, of course, maternal deprivation is experienced by children whom they did not want and/or do not want.

Maternal deprivation not only in infancy, but also at all subsequent age stages of the child’s development, it does not lose the crippling power of its action. Whatever specific reactive consequences it may lead to each time in each individual case - from mild insignificant manifestations of regressive behavior to a picture of full-blown depression or autism - we can say that the target of its devastating and distorting blow is:

– a person's attitude towards himself(rejection of one’s body, self-aggression, etc. are long-term consequences of maternal deprivation), and

– the ability to establish meaningful human relationships with other people.

Depriving a child of the experience of love will lead to the fact that he will be unable to love himself, which life scenarios will be deprived of the opportunity to “give” love, but will be subordinated to the principle of “getting”. Throughout his subsequent life, he will look at other people through the prism of alienation, indifference or resentment, aggression and, accordingly, implement programs of “use and manipulation” or “power, devaluation and destruction.”

Paterial (paternal) deprivation also poses a serious threat in childhood normal development child, but it will affect other aspects and will have a greater impact on the formation of role life attitudes and dispositions and, in addition, will introduce certain plot contents into their possible distortions. The risk of material deprivation for a child is especially high in situations:

– single-parent family, when the father is absent altogether;

– when the father’s attitude towards the child is completely alienated;

– when the father, in his attitude, realizes in no way paternal intentions (for example, compensating on the child for his power ambitions that were not realized elsewhere (at work, with his wife), etc.);

– in families where various kinds of deformations of the family structure itself are observed and gender-role relations between parents are disrupted (for example, families where a woman’s feminist attitude leads to constant humiliation of men in general, or families with a shift in roles, when the father takes on the role of the mother and many others).

In all such situations, material deprivation is inevitable. AND the child will not be able to fully go through the most difficult path of his gender identification, and, as a result, in its adult life he will find himself incorrectly or insufficiently aligned with his ontological essence as feminine or masculine and will be overly vulnerable, disoriented, or incompetent in the space of corresponding relationships and roles.

If you and I retrospectively look back at our childhood, at the childhood of our parents and their parents’ parents, we will see that throughout last century(which actively stimulated most of the situations described above and secured them in the status mass phenomena) something tragic happens generic accumulation of deprivations. And each successive generation becomes increasingly incapable of parenting.

(How often, unfortunately, many modern parents the things discussed above are not obvious. And moreover, how often do you come to us psychological technique bring a child with a deep and severe adaptation disorder or depressive disorder– and this is the state of their own child, the fact that the child is feeling bad is also not obvious to the parents, and their arrival is initiated solely by a categorical demand school teachers, For example).

And today, the problem of childhood deprivation, apparently, can no longer be solved or overcome within the framework and efforts of the individual family itself.

The provisions we put forward may seem too categorical or, in any case, definitely not relevant to every family. Indeed, individual life observations seem to be able to debunk many of the described points. For example, in a completely prosperous family that avoids deprivation situations as much as possible, the child’s development can still proceed along the path of acquiring and strengthening various violations. Or, the child went through “fire, water and copper pipes” in terms of living in deprivation situations, and his development is underway relatively normal. All similar situations- are by no means exceptions to the described schemes. But in order to see this, it is necessary to come to an understanding of the full scope of the problem of deprivation, and this is impossible without mentioning one more of its most important angles.

In fact, in real life The types of deprivation studied by psychology and medicine are never present as separate ones. Different types deprivations are always not only complexly intertwined, but also complexly subordinated and interdependent.
In our opinion, and today we can confidently talk about this, the core, structure and at the same time the predetermining vector of all possible hidden and unconscious types of deprivation become perceptible in the light of the problem of inter-affective interaction between people.

What is it about?

About the fact that all humanity since Adam has been deprived of completeness and integrity human existence. Given this to humanity, three different modes of being separate people in the very foundations of their ways of perceiving the world, their ways of acting in the world, their ways of thinking.

(How large-scale and constructively L. Tolstoy sees the world, how Dostoevsky’s gaze is turned to the chills and trembling of internal experiences, what realistic painting everything reflected by Gogol’s gaze becomes. How each frame in Bergman is verified and constructed, how from these frames the system of his whole certain plan is built , and how Sokurov shoots a two-hour film in one shot, while Fellini and K. Muratova give a continuous series, placing everything on a plane where it turns out to be impossible to structure and subordinate).

And such an essential separation of people from different existential spaces, and at the same time ontological irreconcilability and confrontation between them is the inescapable tragedy of human life.

Where to look for dialogue?

And since the complexity of dialogue between people with different ways of perceiving the world and the complexity of their interaction with each other is a universal and ubiquitous problem, this also informs deprivation on the scale of a universal and ubiquitous phenomenon.

Indeed, if a child and a parent are people of different existential spaces, then deprivation is inevitable, which should be called dialogical deprivation. And its peculiarity will be the systemic and chronic nature of its course. (And if the parent and child are people of the same existential space, then initially there will be more “existential kinship.” And such protection by the understanding of the parent will give the child greater resistance to various kinds of separate deprivations and restrictions.

In such a “kinship” the child may find himself with another person, for example, with a grandmother. This explains those cases where the child endures, for example, maternal deprivation without undue harm. In all such cases, the deprivation risk will concern the area personal development child. Since each existential space has its own perfection, but also its own insufficiency, we can say that the conduct of like by like can lead to a narrowing of the simulacrum possibilities of a person).

In general, it would be good the parent, having recognized himself, gets to know his child as early as possible(- who is this? - what is he like? - how does he see? - what does he see? - what does he want? - how does he think? - where and what are the sources of his pleasure, energy and comfort?), and not a priori consider the child to be yours a copy, circulation of yourself and not project your experience and your ideas onto it, which is very common. This distinction would reveal many deprivation risks.

In fact, if a parent

– a strong-willed, purposeful person, relying in his perception of the world on the system of his ideas about the world and acting in accordance with them;

– a closed person, i.e. stable in terms of dependence on external factors;

– a person whose comfortable state is ensured by the presence of perspective and the ability to act successfully,
then this alone suggests that sitting with a child (baby) itself may turn out to be depressogenic for such a parent. But let’s assume that this parent has set himself the goal of properly caring for the child and, until the age of 3, avoids all standard obvious deprivation episodes (does not go to work, does not leave without the child, etc.).

Most likely, the baby's life is in this age period will take place on trips to the mountains, to the sea, on hikes and in all kinds of parties, and as soon as it becomes possible to do something with him, he will be sent to some kind of cognitively developing classes. Its first cultural outlets will be noisy game rooms, water parks and, of course, the circus. And all this may turn out to be non-traumatic and seemingly appropriate if the child is of exactly the same affective nature as his parent.

As if, because deprivation risks lie here too. One of them will subsequently affect the sphere of boredom: the child will quickly become fed up, constantly demand new things, quickly throw everything away - his ability for monotonous continued activity will be narrowed, i.e., such a human quality as patience will be damaged.

And if our strong-willed parent gave birth to a child of a different way of perception - a “beholder” - a person completely open to the circle of what is revealed, perceiving the world through sensations, giving a constant direct response to what is happening and constantly conforming to it. Such a person will not have goal setting and planning, analysis and evaluation (in the sense in which they are usually talked about), he will not develop a skill that could be transferred from situation to situation. And here multiple deprivations are inevitable. And in this case, they will concern both the basic and existential needs of the child.

Already at the level tactile contact Disorders are possible: the parent is interested in the purpose of the caring actions he performs - feeding, bathing, etc., and a child who is sensitive to the slightest nuances of sensations will experience insufficient qualities of the process itself - gesture, plasticity, taste, light, melody, etc. That range of sensations , which is open to such a child in everything, is practically unknown (inaccessible) and, accordingly, is not significant to his parent.

The way of life that we have outlined and which a strong-willed parent, following his best intentions, will offer here too, will be oversaturated with stimuli for such a child (loud sharp sounds, permanent shifts pictures before his eyes, a change of scenery) and will only disorient and disadapt him. Chess circle and math school– when this child is exhausted, it is a matter of his strength and time. His vital forces will be depleted, because his pleasures and his sources of energy are in another space (in the space of aesthetics), which the parent may not even know about or may not be able to give this space value in his own eyes.

We can observe quite clearly the “mechanics” of the interaction of these two existential spaces, for example, by turning to the biographies of Van Gogh and N. Gogol.

And if our strong-willed parent gave birth to a “feeling” child - a person whose perception is selective and especially focused on events related to the life of feelings and, accordingly, on all aspects and subtleties of interpersonal relationships. A person whose perception is initially tuned to recognize meaning. A person is reflexive and hermetic (the depth, strength and duration of such a person’s internal experiences does not, as a rule, have an equivalent way of external expression). A person whose strong-willed and goal-oriented abilities are always the key to his mood, and whose ability to act is the key to the presence of meaning. And here it is not so important what external plots life goes on such a tandem, how many qualities of which interpersonal relationships it is filled with or not filled with.

A strong-willed parent may not grasp at all what exactly in his attitude towards the child this child is constantly lacking; he may not even imagine how certain insignificant (from the parent’s point of view) words, scenes, etc. will resonate in the child. Such a pair is an eternal conflict of form and content, abstraction and metaphor. If a “strong-willed” parent would like to imagine what his “feeling” child might experience, we can refer, for example, to F. Kafka’s “Letter to Father.”

That is, we are talking each time about involuntary (unintentional and often unconscious) and, at the same time, inevitable deprivations.

Only by identifying with this sketch the problem of dialogical deprivation as a universal and ubiquitous problem, we would seem to have brought it to a context where all that remains is to despair in sorrow. But this shouldn't happen. On the contrary, having gained some clarity regarding any phenomenon in our life, life in general, we must begin to think how and what we should begin to try to prevent, change, correct, overcome, in general - to heal.

And now seeing in the light of what has been stated above, the consequence of what complex paths of what deprivation influences could have resulted in the child’s current ill-being, we must understand that in order to compensate for the damage caused, we will need the entire enormity of our efforts to compensate for the damage caused.

What should I do?

Whatever the level of deprivation consequences in a child, they must be treated (caught and compensated as soon as possible).

– If we are talking about a painful condition (psychosomatic or mental) of a child and his parents, it is necessary psychiatrist.

– If you need to generally navigate the situation (who am I? What is my child like?), understand the structure of problems, learn to understand (take into account) each other’s possibilities and impossibilities, build tactics for activities and activities that have a psychotherapeutic effect, as well as a strategy for steps that can compensate for the consequences deprivation – necessary psychologist.

– If we are talking about certain aspects of a child’s intellectual deprivation, it is necessary teacher. (The topic “pedagogy and children’s deprivation” should be the topic of a separate serious consideration. It is clear that the school will not be able to compensate for maternal and paternal deprivation, but, in our opinion, its tasks could include compensation for the dialogical compensation of children).

– If we are talking about true reconciliation of the irreconcilable (for example, true “together” in the case of dialogical deprivation), about true replenishment of the irreplaceable (for example, in cases of irreversibility of some deprivation consequences and in general all irreparable losses), then this becomes possible only in the face of God and cannot be resolved outside the spiritual space.

In addition, understanding that the ultimate aspirations of all parents is the task of not just raising a child, but raising a personality, we note that the concept of personality is a concept that is more appropriate to discuss in theology than in psychology. The word personality is built into the semantic series face-personality-personality and thus assumes vectoriality: personality exists only in the dynamics of approaching God, in the dynamics of restoring integrity human nature(becoming a face). And if the face is truly unrepeatable and unique, then the face as a way of moving away from God, a way of losing the integrity of human nature, its damage, will have completely typical manifestations.

To simplify it to the extreme, we can say that all this possible, typical “mechanics” of a person in his “module”, in his “statics” is the lot of the sciences of psychology, psychiatry, and pedagogy. (Distortions affecting the somatic, mental and psychological status human beings cannot be lifted on the spiritual level). While the “vector” belongs to the space of dogma, as well as asceticism and theology. And therefore, if we are in a Christian culture, it is necessary priest.

Psychiatrist, psychologist, teacher, priest - all these roles that are so often confused or opposed in everyday consciousness are, in fact, complementary aspects of helping a child and his parents. There cannot be autonomous, mutually exclusive approaches here (or only a psychiatrist, or only a priest), but some kind of conciliarity, complementarity, which, unfortunately, we do not often see in practice, but this is what we should strive for.

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* The question mark next to the word deprivo (“?deprivo”) in the Latin thesaurus indicates the non-conditional reading of the root vowel in original texts. And it is quite possible that the word deprivatio was originally an accidental splinter (particular meaning) of the word depravatio - distortion, damage, disfigurement, distortion.

It is noteworthy that as many as four greek words were translated into Latin by the verb depravo:

αφανιζω - to offer a cleansing sacrifice
διαφθειρω - to destroy, devastate, ruin, kill, spoil, distort
εκφαυλιζω - to neglect, to value little, to consider bad, to despise
στερισκω - to deprive.

But it is precisely in these meanings that we observe in life the phenomenon described modern science the concept of “deprivation”.

:

To a priest or a psychologist?

Orthodox child psychologist Oksana Kovalevskaya, who has extensive practical experience, ends her article with hope for the interaction of a psychologist, psychiatrist and, as a necessary alliance in helping a child and his parents. I can say, based on my experience of working with Oksana Borisovna, who is a parishioner of our church, as well as with other psychologists and psychiatrists from our parish, that this cooperation is unusually fruitful.

An Orthodox psychologist is not a denominational affiliation, but one who, in my opinion, comprehends psychology or psychiatry, first of all, as Christian anthropology. And at the same time uses all the achievements modern psychology, psychiatry, psychoanalysis.

In fact, the areas of modern psychology and modern psychiatry are divorced from Christian teaching and are often fruitless and lead into completely different areas. Therefore, today very often both psychiatry and psychiatry are under the suspicious gaze of modern Christians.

And when a psychologist or psychiatrist, armed modern knowledge and methods, looks at you and your child with Christian eyes and, realizing that he, as a specialist, cannot do anything without the help of God, without the Sacraments of the Church, without immersion in the Gospel life, without straightening himself according to the Gospel, then the union of a doctor and a priest, the union of a psychologist or psychiatrist and a priest begins to bring very good results.

The priest needs to know and notice complex problematic things in the families that are under his care in his parish. And the priest needs employees in this area whom he can trust.

When a priest meets a Christian in the person of a psychologist and psychiatrist, when these people are ready to cooperate together, an amazingly fruitful union results. And for many years Oksana Borisovna has been my assistant, and I have been her assistant. I see children in the gymnasium, families in the parish who need serious psychological care. On the other hand, Oksana sees those who come to her and understands that they need real spiritual care. And then healing occurs, then help occurs, and the fullness that a person lacks as a result of deprivation processes comes.

It is also necessary to say that the conditions that this article talks about do not imply a culprit, it talks about the problem. This is very important to understand: people who are under the influence of deprivation are, to one degree or another, almost all of us. And how to protect your child, how to save your child, how to make up for what is missing - this is a question for every parent that needs to be resolved with a priest, a psychologist, and in some cases, together with a psychiatrist.

And I would like to emphasize that spiritual and psychological problems are problems different areas. They are borderline with each other, they often lie in the same plane, but they are not the same thing.

And Oksana Kovalevskaya’s article is a very important message for our spiritual and psychological community Christian families so that we can begin to solve this difficult problem together.