Manifestation of Empathy and properties
Empathy manifests itself in Strong personality as the ability to feel the severity of other people's experiences. This is the ability to understand the feelings of others and the ability to let them know that you know their feelings. However, this is not enough. The ability not to turn away, to listen to someone else’s pain, while knowing that the person does not even know how difficult it is and how he got there.
Empathy is your sincere desire to understand another, to tune into his emotions. Empathy depends on depth life experience, sensitivity, compassion, empathy, psychological literacy, accuracy of perception, the ability to tune into the emotional wave of the interlocutor.

Most often, all the people who communicate with us need emotional support. They seek some kind of emotional closeness with those people who, it seems to them, treat them with Empathy.

The term "Empathy" first appeared in English dictionary in 1912 and was close to the concept of “sympathy”. It arose on the basis German word einf?hling (literal meaning - penetration. One of the earliest definitions of empathy is found in Freud's work “Wit and its relation to the unconscious” (1905): “We take into account mental condition patient, we put ourselves in this state and try to understand it by comparing it with our own.”

Empathy is more modern word and a concept than Empathy which is a very close concept.

Assess your strength

Empathy can become unsafe if a person enters too deeply into the state of another. Therefore, before showing deep Empathy, evaluate your capabilities to exit the state of this Empathy.
It is necessary to clearly understand the need to observe certain limits of Sympathy and Empathy. Empathic way of communication with another personality has several facets. It implies entering the personal world of another and staying in it.

This way of deep Empathy involves constant sensitivity to the changing experiences of another - to fear, or anger, or emotion, or embarrassment, in a word, to everything that he or she experiences.
This means temporarily living another life, delicately living in it without evaluation and judgment in the neutral zone of only observation.
Empathy means understanding what another person is experiencing deep conversation and he himself is barely aware of the transfer of his energy. In fact, you take on part of negative energy saving the interlocutor from excess. You must be absolutely sure that you yourself can cope and not accept this energy, but ground it and direct it to neutralize it.

In fact, by showing Empathy, you take on part of the negative energy of your interlocutor

You should not try to reveal the completely unconscious feelings of another person, as they can be traumatic.
You cannot communicate your impressions of the inner world of another when you look with a fresh and calm look at the components of the ego of feelings and emotions that excite or frighten the interlocutor.
You confidant for another, and this involves frequently turning to the other to check your impressions and listening carefully to the answers you receive.
By pointing out possible meanings to another's experiences, you help them experience more fully and constructively. To be with another in this way means to put aside one's own points of view and values ​​for a while in order to enter the other's world without prejudice.
Empathy can only be realized Strong people feeling quite safe. They know that they will not lose themselves in this strange or bizarre world of another person. They are confident that they can safely and successfully return to their world whenever they want.

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Empathy The ability to identify with another person, to feel what he feels (See also:).

Brief explanatory psychological and psychiatric dictionary. Ed. igisheva. 2008.

Empathy

(from Greek empatheia - empathy) - comprehension of an emotional state, insight into the experiences of another person. The term "E." introduced by E. Titchener, who generalized the ideas about sympathy that developed in the philosophical tradition with the theories of empathy of E. Clifford and T. Lipps. There is a distinction between emotional emotion, which is based on the mechanisms of projection and imitation of the motor and affective reactions of another person; cognitive E., based on intellectual processes(, etc.), and predicative E., manifested as a person predicting the affective reactions (see) of another in specific situations. As special forms of emotion, they distinguish empathy - the subject of the same emotional states that another person experiences through identification with him, and sympathy - the experience of one’s own emotional states regarding the feelings of another. An important characteristic of emotional processes, which distinguishes it from other types of understanding (identification, role-taking, decentration, etc.), is the weak development of the reflexive side (see), isolation within the framework of direct emotional experience. It has been established that the empathic ability of individuals increases, as a rule, with increasing life experience; E. is easier to implement in the case of similarity in behavioral and emotional reactions subjects.

Brief psychological dictionary. - Rostov-on-Don: “PHOENIX”. L.A. Karpenko, A.V. Petrovsky, M. G. Yaroshevsky. 1998 .

Empathy

Comprehension of the emotional state, penetration, feeling into the experiences of another person. The ability of an individual to parallel experience those emotions that arise in another individual during communication with him. Understanding another person by emotional feeling into his experiences. The term was introduced into psychology by E. Titchener. They differ:

1 ) emotional empathy - based on the mechanisms of projection and imitation of the motor and affective reactions of another;

2 ) cognitive empathy - based on intellectual processes - comparison, analogy, etc.;

3 ) predicative empathy - manifested as the ability to predict the affective reactions of another in specific situations.

How special forms empathy stands out:

1 ) empathy - experiencing the same emotional states that another experiences, through identification with him;

2 ) sympathy - experience eigenstates emotional in connection with the feelings of another.

An important characteristic of empathy processes, which distinguishes it from other types of understanding, such as identification, role acceptance, decentration, and others, is the weak development of the reflexive side ( cm.), isolation within the framework of direct emotional experience. It has been found that empathic ability usually increases with life experience; empathy is more easily realized when the behavioral and reactions of emotional subjects are similar.

Dictionary practical psychologist. - M.: AST, Harvest. S. Yu. Golovin. 1998.

Empathy Etymology.

Comes from the Greek. empatheia - empathy.

Category.

The phenomenon of communication.

Specificity.

A person’s ability to involuntarily experience those emotions that arise in another person in the process of communicating with him. The individual begins - despite conscious control - to share the moods of the other person. Due to this, greater mutual understanding is achieved, which is very important for psychotherapeutic work.

Psychological Dictionary. THEM. Kondakov. 2000.

EMPATHY

(from Greek empatheia- empathy).

1. Non-rational knowledge by a person of the inner world of other people ( empathy). Ability to E. - necessary condition to develop such a professional quality as insight in a practical psychologist (consultant, psychotherapist).

2. Aesthetic E. - feeling into an artistic object, a source of aesthetic pleasure.

3. A person’s emotional responsiveness to the experiences of another, a type of social (moral) emotions. E. as an emotional response is carried out in elementary (reflex) and in higher personal forms (sympathy, empathy, rejoicing). At the heart of E. how social cognition And higher forms E. how the emotional response lies in the mechanism decentralization. It is human nature to experience a wide range of empathic reactions and experiences. The highest personal forms of emotion express a person’s relationship to other people. Empathy and compassion differ as a person’s experience of himself ( egocentric E.) and for another ( humanistic E.).

Empathizing, a person experiences emotions identical to those observed. However, empathy can arise not only in relation to the observed, but also the imaginary emotions of others, as well as in relation to the experiences of the characters works of art, cinema, theater, literature (aesthetic empathy). Cm. .

At sympathy a person experiences something different from the one who caused an emotional response in him. Sympathy motivates a person to help another. The more stable a person’s altruistic motives are, the wider the circle of people whom he, out of sympathy, helps (see. ).

Large psychological dictionary. - M.: Prime-EVROZNAK. Ed. B.G. Meshcheryakova, acad. V.P. Zinchenko. 2003 .

Empathy

   EMPATHY (With. 661) (from Greek empatheia - empathy) - penetration into inner world another person through a sense of involvement in his experiences. The term empathy is also determined personality trait- the ability for this kind of understanding and empathy.

IN last years term received wide use in domestic psychological literature, however, until now in everyday speech (as well as in universal dictionaries Russian language) is missing. Borrowed from in English, where it has existed for a relatively long time (English - empathy). IN in this case, as in most similar ones, this borrowing seems to be a terminological excess, a naive tribute to Westernism, since the content of the concept empathy is quite exhaustively conveyed by the Russian word .

In most domestic publications that introduce this concept, there are references to C. Rogers, to whom his authorship is often attributed. Indeed, in Rogers's concept the concept empathy belongs key role, and it was thanks to Rogers that it was introduced into Russian psychological terminology in the late 80s, when attempts to fill the suddenly emerging ideological vacuum gave rise to a cult humanistic psychology(It was Rogers who acted as our prophet of this cult and its newly-minted icon). However, the term was not invented by Rogers - in English dictionaries the word empathy first appeared in 1912, when the future master was still going to school and catching moths on his father’s farm. The word came into English psychological terminology even earlier thanks to E. Titchener, who found it as English equivalent German concept (feeling), which had an even longer history. It is characteristic that in German to indicate this phenomenon the traditional one is still used today German uniform, it is this word in their native language that the Germans use when talking about empathy.

The first concept of empathy was formulated in 1885 by the German psychologist Theodor Lipps (1851-1914). He considered it as a special mental act in which a person, perceiving an object, projects his own onto it. emotional condition, while experiencing positive or negative aesthetic experiences (Lipps’s works primarily dealt with the perception of works visual arts, architecture, etc.). According to Lipps, the corresponding aesthetic experiences are not so much awakened by an artistic creation as introduced into it. Thus, when perceiving inanimate forms (for example, architectural buildings), a feeling appears that they are full of inner life (“gloomy house”, “cheerful facade”, etc.). This explains, in particular, some geometric illusions - for example vertical line is perceived to be longer than in reality, since the observer feels himself as if being stretched upward. Ideas about the subject's feeling of linear and spatial forms were subsequently developed into various works in psychology of art.

The concept of empathy was also one of the most important in the “understanding psychology” of Wilhelm Dilthey (1833-1911). Dilthey considered the ability to empathize as a condition for understanding cultural, historical, human reality. Various cultural phenomena arise from a “living whole” human soul“Therefore, their understanding, according to Dilthey, is not conceptualization, but penetration, as if transferring oneself into a holistic state of mind the other and its reconstruction based on empathy. Note that this interpretation dates back to 1894.

Closest to modern concept empathy was formulated by S. Freud in 1905. In his work “Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious,” Freud pointed out: “We take into account the mental state of the patient, put ourselves in this state and try to understand it by comparing it with our own.” It is characteristic that empathy has an important place in conceptual apparatus psychoanalysis. In particular, this term among others, appears in the recently published “Dictionary-Reference Book of Psychoanalysis” by V.M. Leibin, as well as in “ Critical Dictionary psychoanalysis" by C. Rycroft and other similar publications. It is important that both publications mentioned above emphasize maintaining an objective view of the origins and nature of another person’s experiences when empathizing. Thus, V.M. Leibin points out: “Empathy presupposes identification of the analyst with the patient. To some extent, it resembles projective identification. At the same time, empathy is not such an identification with the patient, thanks to which the analyst completely identifies himself with the latter. On the contrary, having the opportunity to become involved in the inner world of another person, the analyst retains the ability to distance himself from him in terms of presenting his own unbiased interpretations and developing a psychoanalytic therapy strategy acceptable for a specific analytical situation.”

Let us note once again that the original works of Lipps, Dilthey and Freud were published in German, and in all the mentioned cases this concept was described by the term empathy, which English-speaking psychologists did not blindly borrow, but found more consonant native language equivalent.

In the humanistic psychology of C. Rogers, empathy became the main technique of “client-centered therapy”, in which the psychologist enters into deep, empathic contact with the client and helps him realize himself a full-fledged personality capable of taking responsibility for decisions own problems. Along with the unconditional acceptance of the client and the so-called congruence (another linguistic monster for which we are too lazy to find an equivalent), empathy is one of the components of the so-called Rogers psychotherapeutic triad - a triple set of conditions, without which, according to supporters of this approach, the psychotherapeutic process would not may be complete. Empathy as a method of psychotherapeutic communication presupposes temporary living as if it were another life, delicate, without preconceived assessments and judgments, staying in the personal world of another, sensitivity to his constantly changing experiences. Joint interpretation of exciting or frightening problems helps to experience them more fully and constructively and, ultimately, to change the structure , which makes him more flexible, creative, and open to positive experiences.

Let's give the floor to Rogers himself. This is how he describes empathy as one of the components (conditions) of his psychotherapeutic triad.

The third condition can be called empathic understanding. When the therapist feels feelings and personal meanings the client at every moment in time, when he can perceive them as if from the inside, the way the client himself feels them, when he is able to successfully convey his understanding to the client, then the third condition is met.

   I suspect that each of us knows that such understanding is extremely rare. We do not often feel such understanding and rarely show it ourselves. Usually we offer a completely different, different type of understanding instead: “I understand that you are not okay,” “I understand what makes you do this,” or “I had such troubles, but I behaved completely differently.” . These are the types of understandings we typically receive or offer to others, these are - evaluative understanding from an external position. But when someone understands how it feels or looks to me, without the desire to analyze or judge me, then I can “flourish” and “grow” in this climate.

The study confirms this generally accepted observation. When a therapist, remaining himself, can capture every moment inner life the client the way he sees and feels it, then changes are likely to occur" ( Rogers K. A look at psychotherapy. The Becoming of Man. M., 1994. P. 106)*.

*[The translation has been slightly edited by the author of these lines; for example, another linguistic perversion - therapist- replaced with a more familiar word therapist(although this is unlikely to deter therapists from continuing to call yourself this funny and stupid word)].

At the same time, it is very important to emphasize the essential feature of empathy (noted, by the way, by Freud). To have empathy means to perceive subjective world another person as if the perceiver were that other person. This means - to feel the pain or pleasure of another as he himself feels it, and to relate, as he does, to the reasons that gave rise to them, but at the same time not for a minute forget about the fact that “as if”. If last condition is lost, then this state becomes a state of identification - very, by the way, unsafe. Indicative in this regard is the experience of Rogers himself, who in the early 50s so “felt” into the inner world of one of his clients, who suffered severe disorder that he was forced to resort to the help of a psychotherapist. Only a three-month vacation and a course of psychotherapy with one of his colleagues allowed him to recover and realize the need to respect certain limits of empathy.

This point seems especially important in connection with the absolutization of the role of empathy, which clearly takes place in Lately. In a number of works, empathy is considered as one of the key factors successful professional activity psychologist. It is emphasized that the ability to empathy can be formed with the help of special training techniques (this is not surprising - with the help of training today we try to form anything, even the meaning of life).

It seems undeniable that empathy is valuable professional quality psychologist whose Practical activities associated with direct contact with people, helping them solve their problems. At the same time, it is especially important not to forget about its subjective limits, exceeding which is fraught with professional “burnout.” In other words, a psychologist must be able to empathize with the experiences of another person, but not so much as to turn other people’s problems into his own.

Popular psychological encyclopedia. - M.: Eksmo. S.S. Stepanov. 2005.

Synonyms:

See what “empathy” is in other dictionaries:

EMPATHY- (from the Greek empatheia, empathy, sympathy) a person’s ability to identify (identify) one of his self-images with an imaginary image of “another”: with the image of other people, living beings, inanimate objects and even with linear and... ... Philosophical Encyclopedia

Even as adults, we always hope that fate will give us a person who will understand us perfectly. The kind of person who will share our joys and sorrows with us as if they were his own. This wonderful feeling that allows you to emotionally feel into your interlocutor is called Empathy.

Other people's emotions are like your own

The ability to consciously empathize with other people's emotions, unfortunately, is very rare today. The term “Empathy” in psychology was one of the first mentioned in the works of Sigmund Freud, who argued that a psychoanalyst should efficient work with the patient, it is necessary to take into account his emotional state. The psychoanalyst enters this state, after which he gains the ability to understand it by comparing it with his own sensations.

Today, the concept of “Empathy” implies many things. First of all, empathy is conscious empathy with a person, his emotional state, without loss of sensation external control over such a state. In medicine and psychology, empathy is often equated with empathic listening - demonstrating that a specialist correctly understands the patient's emotional state. In forensics, empathic listening means the ability to gather information about a target's feelings and thoughts.

Psychics consider empathy special feeling, available only to some people. The significance of this ability in extrasensory perception is great: it serves as a tool for perceiving the emotional states of other people “directly,” as well as broadcasting one’s emotions, while the lack of direct contact with a person is not a hindrance. This feeling is equated to the concept of emotional telepathy.

Manifestations of empathy are very different: from complete immersion in the feelings of a communication partner (emotional or affective empathy), to an objective understanding of the experiences of a communication partner without strong emotional involvement. In this case, the following types of empathy are distinguished:

• sympathy - emotional responsiveness, the need to provide help;
• empathy - a person experiences the same emotions as a communication partner;
• sympathy - very friendly and warm attitude to a person.

Empathy is not associated with the perception of some specific emotions(as with compassion). This feeling is used to indicate empathy for any state. There are many professions in which empathic listening not just desirable, but even necessary. Such professions include almost all professions focused on communicating with people:

• psychologists, psychotherapists;
• doctors;
• teachers;
• HR managers;
• managers;
• detectives;
• officials;
• sellers;
• hairdressers and others.

As we can see, the application of this amazing property our psyche can be found anywhere. People who have the ability to empathize are called empaths.

Is it possible to become an empath?

You can often hear: “He is a born psychologist.” Often such a phrase indicates a person’s ability to empathize emotionally without special professional skills. Is it possible to become an empath? Is empathy an innate or acquired ability? What are its signs?

According to biology, brain activity, which reflects the actions and states of other individuals, is directly dependent on the activity of mirror neurons. Biologists suggest that the strength of empathy depends on their activity.

An indirect confirmation of this is that people suffering from alexithymia do not have the ability to empathize, since their neurophysiological problems do not allow them to distinguish even their emotions.

Modern experts believe that empathy is innate and genetic property, but life experience strengthens or weakens it. The power of empathy depends on having rich life experience, accuracy of perception, and developed skills in empathic communication. Initially more developed ability Women have empathy, especially those who have children.

Provided that at least the rudiments of empathy are innately present, its development can be accelerated by various training methods and special exercises who develop the skills to effectively use this ability in professional and personal communication. If you want to learn to understand the emotions and feelings of others, it is useful to practice such artistic sketches as “Remembering Faces”, “How Others See Me”, “Transformation”. The ability to empathize and sympathize is also well developed by any fortune-telling and the game “Association”. Helps develop empathy general development emotionality through dancing, watching films, listening to music, and other art therapy methods.

To identify people's level of empathy ability, as well as individual aspects of this ability, there are various methods and techniques. The most reliable diagnostic aimed at determining the level of empathy is called “Empathy Quotient”; for Russian-speaking users there is an adaptation called “Level of Empathy”.

Advantages and disadvantages

Empathy is a real gift that not everyone knows how to use for its intended purpose. Often this mental property brings suffering to a person, because people do not always experience only joy, happiness, love and other positive states. What seems like the ultimate dream for one person is a heavy burden for another.

The ability to empathize and sympathize presupposes that a person has developed personality, since the immature mind is unable to cope with the barrage of other people's emotions. Having decided to develop empathy, it is not superfluous to evaluate the pros and cons of such a decision.

pros	Minuses
Inexhaustible possibilities for developing imagination.	A person is not capable of healthy aggression and competition.
Effective assistance in many professions.	Increased sensitivity, resulting in emotional burnout.
This state produces many original solutions.	Mild anxiety and fear, high percentage of mental illnesses.
The ability to help other people, give them support and acceptance.	There is a high probability of a relationship of the “one-sided game” type, when a person only gives without receiving anything in return.
An empath cannot be fooled.	An empath is easily offended and hurt.

Develop or get rid of?

Each person must decide for himself what level of empathy he needs to comfortable life. There are 4 types of empaths:

Non-empaths: have completely closed the channels of empathy (consciously or under the influence of psychological trauma). These people cannot recognize non-verbal and verbal cues.

Ordinary empaths: are constantly in a state of stress and emotional overload, acutely experiencing other people's problems. They often suffer from headaches. The ability to empathize is not controlled by them.

Conscious empaths: manage their ability to empathize, easily adapt to other people's emotions, knowing how not to let them pass through themselves.

Professional empaths: have excellent control over their ability, often using it to professional purposes. They can control any other person’s emotions, change a person’s mood, relieve mental and physical pain.

If fate has endowed you with a developed ability to empathize, maybe it’s still worth developing it? At least in order to fulfill my purpose - helping other people.

However, a strong ability to sympathize and empathize often comes at a price. Empaths quite often enter into asymmetrical relationships without receiving sufficient support from their partner. Such people feel uncomfortable in conflict and are not inclined to compete or defend their interests.

They often suffer from depression as well as anxiety disorders. Empaths have a hard time overcoming fear, so it is possible panic attacks. The ability to feel someone else's pain leads to what psychologists call empathic stress.

To work effectively with people, having developed empathy is a real godsend. But with personal relationships Empaths often have problems. They are so sensitive that it is impossible to hide anything from them, and any negative emotions of a partner literally “hit you on the head.” Therefore, an empath’s partner must be a kind, faithful and non-conflict person.

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Empathy (translation from Greek: “feeling”, “passion”, “suffering”) - conscious empathy for the current emotional state of another person without loss of sensation external origin this feeling. A person with the ability to empathize is called an empath.

The concept was introduced by Sigmund Freud. He considered it essential for any psychoanalyst to put himself in the place of his patient.

Compassion should not be confused with empathy. The first concerns only the ability to sympathize, and an empath can feel the emotions of others: anger, fear, resentment, joy.

Let's figure out whether all people are capable of such feelings or whether this requires a set of certain qualities.

How does empathy manifest itself?

This skill is expressed as feeling the emotional state of the people with whom the person interacts, as well as the ability to express feelings like others. Such people are prone to deep emotional experiences and understanding of the dependence of the expressed feelings on the problem of another person.

Why does a person need the ability to empathize?

Without empathy, it is difficult for people to develop communication skills and gain trust.

The lack of such skills can negatively affect the professional side of life.

Impossible to become good psychologist, a psychoanalyst, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, having no inclination to show feelings, putting oneself in the client’s place and tolerance for his actions.

Levels of empathy

All empathic people are divided into 5 types depending on the depth of their ability to feel:

Type	Description
First	These people are able to identify their feelings. At the same time, they distinguish simple feelings. They can perceive the emotional state of others, but often do not distinguish other people's emotions from their own. These empaths tend to focus on own feelings and emotions.
Second	People belonging to this type perfectly feel the whole range of other people's sensations. They can read someone else's emotional state and mood by looking into the person's eyes or determine them by their motor skills and movements.
Third	Can determine a person’s emotions without his presence (during telephone conversation or correspondence). They clearly differentiate their own condition and experiences from those of others.
Fourth	Level 4 empaths can perceive and recognize the entire spectrum emotional manifestations those around you. However, they do not need direct contact with humans. They often have heightened intuition. They can easily recognize the emotional state and feelings of several people who are in direct contact with an empath.
Fifth	People belonging to this type can feel and capture the entire range of emotions of those around them, but with the help of their abilities they can control the emotions of others.

Types of empathy

Emotional

The basis is to repeat the behavior and motor skills of others in different situations.

Cognitive

The basis of this type is intellectual activity - comparison, analogy, etc.

Predicative

Predicting the behavior of surrounding people and their emotions in specific situations.

Degrees of manifestation of the tendency to empathy

Increased empathy (hyperempathy)

Characterized by hypersensitivity to other people's problems. Such a person takes everything upon himself and is distinguished by expressed empathy. Distinctive features: vulnerability, impressionability, guilt for no reason.

Normal degree

The most common type. Such people control their emotions and prefer not to show them for ethical reasons. They can give free rein to their emotions in the circle of close people.

Low

Characterized by a person’s inability to empathize. Such people consider the actions of people in a state of passion senseless and incomprehensible to them and do not accept other points of view. Due to this, it is difficult for a person to find mutual language with others.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Empathy

• Benefits include the ability to recognize and understand emotions and the reasons for other people's emotions and feelings. This ability allows you to be good friends and quite good specialists in the areas of working with society.
• The disadvantages include the fact that among the problems of others you can lose yourself, your emotional state. This can happen to a person who does not know how to abstract himself from other people’s problems, takes everything too closely, and “takes on” other people’s situations for himself.

How an empath can learn not to waste emotions in vain

• Understand that every person is free to choose how to behave in their life.
• An empath should not interfere with the emotional state of loved ones unless they ask for it. It is enough to simply accept a person as he is and empathize with him.
• To establish spiritual harmony or choose a different type of relaxation for yourself.
• You won’t be good to everyone, so you don’t need to try to be a friend to everyone. If a person evokes negative emotions and impressions in you, try to limit communication with him or eliminate it altogether.
• Love yourself the way you are. Don’t try to take the blame for the whole world and heroically save it.

Developing empathy - is it possible?

Empathy – complex concept. Some scientists believe that this ability is genetic in nature and is inherited.

This ability can still be developed. There is a certain technique:

1. Correct perception of your own “I” and your feelings. Learn to recognize and distinguish their shades. This will be the first step for adequate vision emotional experiences others.
2. Ability to manage own emotions, thoughts and actions plays a big role.
3. Learn to understand and accept the feelings and thoughts of others.
4. Learn to highlight intonation, facial expressions, and gestures. This will help determine the person's emotional state and how they feel.

Hello, dear readers of the blog site. Most people believe that empathy is human capacity for empathy, but, in fact, everything is not so simple. And how can you understand who is more prone to this feeling: you or, for example, your friend?

And does empathy always carry only positive traits or it may also lead to negative consequences in a relationship? If you find it difficult to accurately answer these questions, then let's study this topic in a little more detail.

Empathy - what is it?

The appearance of this term in psychology is a merit American psychologist Edward Titchener, who first introduced this concept into use. If we try to literally translate this word, we get “ feel" If we talk in simple words, then this is a “response”.

That is, empathy is a person's response to the feelings and state of another. An empath clearly sees and understands what exactly is happening to the interlocutor in this moment(emotionally). At the same time, he balances his own actions, thoughts and emotions with the state of this person.

This state is activated in a person when someone nearby experiences negative emotions: the person begins to cry, he will experience fear, sadness, melancholy, and aggression. An empath senses when another person is needed, and like most people, feels the desire to understand and help whenever possible.

When people jump for joy, this does not attract the attention of the empath, since this feeling is more understandable and does not cause the need for a life preserver (which he considers himself to be).

Showing empathy is possible not only in real world. For example, when we read a book or watch a film, we willy-nilly try to enter into the role of the main character, to be in his place (we empathize with him) - this is also a manifestation this feeling, inherent in us by nature.

There are people who are more prone to "emotional response" due to innate abilities or their diligent development. They are called empaths.

Such individuals who are sensitive to other people often choose pedagogy as their path, lead clubs, work as educators or psychologists, since in these areas of activity it is very important to be able to subtly sense the state of other people. Melancholic people most closely correspond to these characteristics.

Where does it come from?

Neuroscientists blame empathy mirror neurons. This nerve cells, which interpret information perceived from the world around us.

For example, if there is a person standing opposite us who is sad, then the visual and auditory analyzers receive relevant information about this and transmit it to these neurons. Mirror neurons make their owner feel the same, but to a lesser extent.

It is the mirror cells in monkeys that force their relatives to repeat the same actions one after another (monkeying). For the same reason, we like to watch programs about luxurious life(look through magazines about the “hard life” of celebrities).

This simply makes it possible to feel at least a moment’s joy in life, as if we were in the place of a celebrity (a given celebrity).

It is noteworthy that the development of empathy starts from birth when the baby perceives the world just on emotional level. If his mother smiles at him, he will unconsciously smile back at her (acting like an idiot).

When parents explain to an older child that they are now sad or happy for such and such a reason, this also helps the child understand how feelings work and how they can be “read” by faces, movements, words, and facial expressions.

Autism is an extremely low level of empathy in a person

By the way, one of the reasons is a violation in the structure or number of mirror neurons. Therefore, autistic people (people with almost zero empathy) it's very difficult to understand how people around you feel and how to interact with them.

As a result of this, the child finds it difficult to communicate with peers in the yard, at school, or with a salesperson in a store.

Therefore, from the very early age such children need to be given Special attention in respect of emotional development. They need to be told what is happening inside other people in terms of emotions and how it can all be “read” (by facial expressions, by gestures, by gaze).

It is also necessary to constantly ask the child how he feels; describe how it usually manifests itself externally on other people so that he can compare and contrast. Analyzing the main characters of books and films also has a beneficial effect on accelerating movement along the path from autistic to empath.

Active listening is something that can also help development " emotional sensitivity" The point is that the listener asks clarifying questions to the person who is telling something. Thus, he learns more about the interlocutor, and he, in turn, opens up more. You can also switch places with your children in this “word game.”

Types of empathy

Depending on how deeply a person has learned to understand the feelings of other people, 3 types of “insight skills” can be distinguished:

Empathy = sympathy?

Very often people use the word “empathy” as an inappropriate synonym – “sympathy”. But this different concepts(although sometimes intersecting) and they carry within themselves different reasons and motivation.

For example, an altruist or philanthropist feels a desire to help another. They want everything to work out for him, everything to be fine, and they will try together with him (or instead of him) to solve his problems and cheer him up. This is a sincere show of caring. They are just that way by nature and help everyone.

Or pity. For a moment, you suddenly feel sorry for the unfamiliar beggars in the passage who are trying to collect money for food. They tossed a couple of coins and moved on. You didn’t dive into their “inner world”, didn’t “penetrate their soul” and didn’t feel the whole bouquet of their emotions.

Empathy is not sympathy or regret, but a gift given from above or developed independently. immerse yourself in the state of another, understand his emotions.

At the same time, the empath may not have the desire to help and show care at all. It all depends on the person. For example, we all “see” a beggar, but not everyone will hand him a coin. As you can see, these are completely different concepts.

Example. did you see full man and realized that he urgently needed to lose weight, otherwise he might soon have problems. But you won’t run to him with this and lead him by the hand to a nutritionist. You may simply not care what happens to him (he may also be a sensitive empath).

Empathy is the ability (ability) to feel the state of other people, but it does not at all mean that this will lead to some actions aimed at the benefit of the person in whose shoes you have climbed. Maybe even the opposite. , for example, they use their understanding of people exclusively for their own selfish purposes.

It is simply the ability to lift the veil over the feelings of other people, to understand their emotional state. Whether you sympathize with them or not depends on the individual.

Negative side

It would seem, what could be negative about understanding and feeling other people? It's like a third eye! But psychologists say that it is empaths who often turn to them for help, since they tend to often delve into and immerse themselves in the feelings of others, and this creates a strong emotional burden.

In addition, the very conscientious of them believe that they are responsible for the condition of those around them, since they are able to understand them well (unlike others). It would be nice if this only manifested itself in relation to loved ones, but they often try to help people they don’t know at all, which takes a lot of their energy and time.

In addition, many empaths therefore focus more on the problems of other people and forget about their personal experiences. As a result, they remain unheard and cannot turn to others for help. They are left with someone else’s and their own negativity inside. They neglect themselves.

Also appear problems at work, if empaths occupy some kind of leadership position. It is difficult for them to give harsh instructions or negative assessments of the work of subordinates, because they know how negatively this is perceived by them (in fact, they will flog themselves in this way). Therefore, such bosses can make concessions, knowing the specifics of a particular person.

Empathic thinking forces you to pay a lot of attention to the context (emotional background) of the conversation, and not just its essence. Such people always try to understand (get to the bottom of) what a person really wanted to say or do. This develops a trait of suspicion and leads to waste. large quantity time to think about unimportant details.

To sympathetic empaths It is extremely difficult to watch the news on TV and on the Internet, because they pass everything through themselves and take it to heart. The same can be said about relationships: friendly and loving. They are too sympathetic, and not every heart can withstand universal sadness.

How not to “burn out” in empathy?

In order not to let empathy ruin your life, you should be aware of YOUR goals, values, feelings, thoughts, motives. So that when communicating with another person don't dissolve in it and remember your own importance.

When a tragic situation occurs that cannot be changed, you need to try to distance yourself from it for a while in order to realize what is happening, comprehend it and not be under the constant pressure of current reality.

If, as a result of immersion in another person, compassion awakens in you, you need to set adequate goals for helping the person and take on only an adequate measure of responsibility. For example, not to give away your last money, but simply to help a person find a job.

It is not empathy itself (response to the feelings of other people) that causes problems, but the inability to use it correctly and regulate it. The main thing is to learn take part in other people's problems without harming yourself and then it will be easier to set up as warm friendly relations with loved ones, and working relationships with colleagues.

Good luck to you! See you soon on the pages of the blog site

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