Humility is a special topic for me. One of mine karmic tasks in this life, was to learn to be humble before God's will for me. For a long time I was a very humble person - a kind of fighter who had to constantly fight with life's difficulties. And I must say there were difficulties in abundance, there was enough pain and suffering in my life! Of course, I heard the word humility, but I never thought about its true meaning, I did not understand the full depth of this meaning, and certainly did not think that humility could have anything to do with me.
But one fine day, with the help of the Teacher, this word began to reveal itself to me. And I realized that humility is what I need. In principle, this is what we all need - anyone and everyone living here on Earth. Now I know that humility is a huge, magical power. Humility has changed me and my life 360 degrees in better side. Life has become easy and simple! I don’t want to say that difficulties and problems are completely over in my life. We will always have problems on Earth, because this world was created to create problems for us. But the number of problems in my life has sharply decreased and it has become very easy for me to solve them!
So, what is humility? Humility is, first of all, living with peace in the Soul! At peace with yourself, in harmony with the world around you and God. Humility is the internal acceptance of situations that happen to us. Any situation, no matter what areas of life it concerns.
For example, Ayurveda - Vedic medicine, believes that a sick person has no chance of being healed if he does not accept his illness. Almost any disease can be cured, but only when a person has internally accepted it, humbled himself, understood why the disease came into his life, and worked through the tasks that the disease sets for him. It’s the same with all difficult situations in life – until you accept it, you won’t change it.
How to understand whether I accept the situation or not. If I accept it, there is peace inside me, nothing bothers me, nothing stresses me out about the situation. I think about her and speak calmly. Inside there is complete calm and relaxation. If I don’t accept, then there’s tension inside, internal dialogue, claims, grievances, irritation, etc. Pain. The more pain, the more rejection. As soon as we take it, the pain goes away.
Many people understand weakness and humiliation by the word acceptance or humility. They say I’ve resigned myself, which means I’ll sit with my hands folded and come what may, let everyone wipe their feet on me. In fact, true humility gives dignity to a person. Humility and acceptance of what is inside is personal traits, and on external level I'm taking some action.
Let's look at a few examples:
1. We often encounter difficulties in personal relationships. Our head has a different picture of the relationship with our loved one than the one we get in reality. In our head, both the image and the behavior of a loved one are different than what we receive in fact. It is the discrepancy between the desired and the actual that causes us suffering and pain. Often we see the root of our troubles not in ourselves, but in others. Now he will change and I will stop suffering. Remember, the cause of troubles is not in another person or his behavior, the cause is in us and in our attitude towards a loved one.
First of all, we must accept reality as it is. Our reality is created by our subconscious programs and God. We don't actually get what we want, but what we deserve. This is how the law of karma works - what goes around comes around. The current reality was sown by us, by some of our actions in the past - in this or past life. Protesting and suffering is stupid and not constructive! It is much more constructive to internally accept reality as it is. Accept your loved one for who he is, with all his shortcomings and advantages, with all his attitude towards us. Take responsibility for everything that happens in our lives - for events, for people, for their attitude towards us - onto ourselves! Only I am responsible for what happens in my life.
We “pulled” everything to ourselves. It is my actions and energies that force the other person to act towards me in a way that may not be entirely pleasant for me. Our own karma comes to us through those close to us. And then, rolling up your sleeves, you need to begin the internal work. Everything that happens to us here is lessons. Our loved ones are our most important Teachers. Every difficult situation is sent to us not to fight it, but to educate us. Thanks to this situation, we can understand life more deeply, change something in ourselves for the better, develop unconditional love, climb up new level development, to receive some necessary for our Soul life experience, pay off your karmic debt.
Only after accepting the situation can you finally begin to think about what is actually being taught. Why is this situation sent to us? By what behavior and thoughts did we bring this situation to life?! Maybe we are not coping with our role as a man or a woman, are we developing qualities that are alien to our nature? This means we must go and gain knowledge on how to properly perform our role. How a man should act in this world and how a woman should act, so that it would be in harmony with the laws of the Universe. I always say that in order to be a man or a woman, it is not enough to be born into a male or female female body. You have to become a man or a woman - this is a big life task. And with the implementation of this task our destiny in the world begins.
But this is not the only cause of problems in relationships, although it is, of course, the most global and it is from this that all other problems in gender relations are born. Again, each case is of course very individual. Maybe this situation teaches us self-respect and we should say no to relationships. Or maybe we need to learn to stand up for ourselves, not allow another person to insult, humiliate, and God forbid beat us. Those. Having internally accepted the situation, I now defend myself not with emotions of resentment and irritation, but with emotions of love for myself and for others, with emotions of acceptance. Those. Internally we have complete calm - but externally we may say rather harsh words, take some measures, do not allow ourselves to be insulted, and firmly put the other person in his place. Those. we act on the external level without getting involved in emotion, not from the position of Ego and resentment - we act from the position of the Soul.
When we struggle with a situation without acceptance, everything comes from our emotions and from the Ego. You must feel like a Soul and learn to act in this world like a Soul, and not like a clot of egoism. Another very important point- yes, on the external plane we take some actions to change the situation, but inside we must always be ready to accept any development of events. Repeat as often as possible that this has sounded in you like a mantra - I am internally ready or ready to accept any development of events! Everything will happen the way God wants - man proposes, God disposes. We must free ourselves from our hold on the result - they say, I only want it this way and not otherwise. Here on Earth in everything and always the last word for God – and we must accept it!
Another point - often problems in personal relationships are given to work out character traits - perhaps our partner’s behavior indicates to us that we are touchy, jealous, critical, rude, assertive, despotic, we are trying to subordinate the other to our will, without taking into account his desires, we are trying to remake him for yourself, etc. This means we must free ourselves from these qualities. For example, if you are critical, then you must stop concentrating on a person’s shortcomings and learn to see the merits in a person, tell him good words, praise, give compliments. Every person has qualities for which to praise him - learn to see them!
If you are jealous, you must learn to trust the person and your relationship. Giving to partner free space- it is not your property. And also in this case, you must develop confidence in yourself and your attractiveness. Take care of yourself, perform your masculine or female role. And most importantly, give love to your partner. Jealousy says that your partner is dear to you and you don’t want to lose him, but jealousy as a way of expressing love is very destructive, because sooner or later it will destroy the relationship. Keep in mind that if you are jealous, you are energetically already inviting a third person into your relationship and his appearance is a matter of time.
So with all other emotions: all that is required of you is to replace the negative with a positive antipode and train your consciousness for a new attitude towards your partner and the situation.
Relationships are always about respect, freedom, love and giving. This is service to each other! In relationships, we should think less about what our partner should do in relation to us and think more about what we should do in relation to him. Because often having a list of requirements for the second half, to put it mildly, we ourselves are far from meeting this list! Always remember about your area of responsibility in a relationship and think less about your partner’s area of responsibility.
Everything starts with you - it will go from you right energy and your partner will start giving you the same harmonious energy. The saying is as old as time - change yourself and the world around you will change too. A person who is not humble, instead of changing himself, wants to change the world. This is the trouble, this is the whole root of suffering. And the box opens so easily!!
2. Or another example. Consider a disease. For example, we confirm the diagnosis of cancer or any other unpleasant diagnosis. And then people start asking questions: why is this happening to me, why do I need it. The fear of death turns on. There is a complete rejection of the disease and a rush to the doctors - who will save and who will help??!! This is the road to nowhere!!
The first thing you need to do is accept the disease. Illness is not stupid, it always comes in a targeted manner, because illness is actually a signal from our subconscious mind that we are doing something wrong. This is a signal that our behavior and our reactions to events are harmful to us. Disease is an appeal of the Universe to us. God tells us through illness - you are breaking the laws of the Universe, stop! Speaking specifically about cancer, it is a disease of resentment. A person is very offended by someone and for a long time carries this resentment within himself. Perhaps for years. On a subconscious level, when we are offended, we send destruction to the person we were offended by. And this program of destruction, like a boomerang, returns to us.
A person’s resentment eats away, and therefore cancer—cancer cells—corrode the body. We need to work through the past, forgive and let go of grievances. Accept both past situations and the illness that is now. And only after doing this internal work can we count on our external actions in connection with illnesses - hospitalization, medications, surgery and chemotherapy will bring positive results. If we are fighting a disease, we do not take it, we only use external methods, we run around various kinds specialists without doing the work inside - the result will be disastrous. Because fighting the situation only makes it worse. Here I used cancer as an example, but we should do the same with any other disease!
True, don’t go to extremes - don’t look for a slight cold deep reasons. A cold can only mean that yesterday you dressed too lightly and stood in a draft for a long time! Or that Lately you worked too hard, so your body decided to put you to rest. Relax, pamper yourself and go ahead!
But serious illnesses already require treatment. In general, the path to many serious illnesses begins with grievances - if a person does not internally accept them, then betrayals are given, if this person does not pass, then illnesses and blows of fate follow. And the more egoism, the stronger the blows. We also get sick when we don’t follow our destiny, when we don’t fulfill our tasks. When we eat incorrectly. Western medicine says that all diseases are caused by nerves, but oriental medicine says that all diseases are caused by poor nutrition. Therefore, in order not to get sick with anything other than a cold, learn to accept, stop being offended, start living in harmony with yourself and God, do your duty, follow your destiny and lead healthy image life, eat right! On an internal level, learn to open up and live in complete trust in the Higher Source! In complete trust and love! Understand that you are God’s creation and God knows what and why he is doing in your life!
And if you do get sick, then take a comprehensive approach to treatment and recovery. Work for internally and use what medicine offers. For example, work with a psychologist and work with a doctor! More than once I have met people who follow the spiritual path and believe that a disease can be cured only by internal work on oneself - they say, medical manipulations and medications are not required. Be smart! We are still very far from reaching the level where we can inner work gave results.
Don’t go to the other extreme: when a person believes that he can only be cured using external methods - medicine, drugs, etc. For healing, we still need an integrated approach, because when we are in the embodied state, there is a trinity - Spirit, Soul and body. And problems on one of these plans indicate problems on others! After all, the disease first originates on the subtle plane - from our incorrect worldview, thoughts, actions, deeds. And only then does he move on to physical plan. Therefore, it is necessary to treat both internal and external - only then will there be a lasting result. After all, it often happens that a person seems to have been cured, but after a while he fell ill again. And all because there were no changes inside!!
3. Well and simply everyday example. For example, our wallet with documents, credit cards, money was stolen - we internally accept this and are not upset, but outwardly we take action: we go write a statement, do everything to find our documents, wallet, punish the criminal. Only we are not driven by this resentment, anger and irritation. We don’t wish for another that his hands would wither and never grow again, we don’t send curses on his head, etc. No, we are calm inside - we understand that since God sent us this, it means it is needed for some reason. We just calmly do what is required of us, without hysterics and curses at the thief. Again, maybe our wallet wasn’t stolen - maybe we dropped it ourselves?
Or let’s say we don’t have a job - we accept it internally, we don’t blame anyone for it: they say the country is in the wrong place and the situation in it is wrong. We don’t attribute everything to circumstances and don’t retire to drink bitter drinks. Yes, this is true today - we don’t have work, which means we have more time to figure out what we really want to do in professionally. Was the job we did before our dream job? Or maybe we only worked for her to pay the bills? Maybe God deliberately deprived us of this job, so that we would finally go and start doing the job of our dreams, begin to realize the talents inherent in us!
Or, for example, if I’m a woman, maybe it’s time for me to spend more time at home and shift material support family on the shoulders of the husband, as this is generally how it should be?! Maybe it’s time to finally feel like a Woman – a Hearthkeeper and start organizing a space of love and beauty around you and in your home?! We are calm. And we calmly analyze the state of things. In the outside world, we don’t lie on the couch, but at least look through some advertisements and send out CVs. At the same time, we do not blame our fate, God - they say we didn’t notice, the government, etc.. On the contrary, we are grateful to fate that everything is so, because maybe around the corner something better awaits us than ex work(at least we now have time to rest from the eternal race) and maybe with the wallet that was stolen from us, we paid off bigger (emphasis on the o) problems than just losing money. Who knows? This is known only to God. Only he has a complete picture of the world. So in everything - complete trust in God, knowledge and understanding that God knows what and why He is doing in my life! Adoption!
The most amazing thing is that inner acceptance and calmness solves many problems very quickly - a person recovers, his wallet is often with all his money and documents, relationships with loved ones are restored. One way or another, one way or another, any problems are solved. I've seen this more than once. Both in your life and in the lives of other people who have developed and practice accepting situations. Because acceptance opens up a huge flow of energy – we find ourselves right in this flow and attract to ourselves like a magnet best solutions. It’s all very simple – we just handle situations correctly and we are rewarded handsomely. Acceptance is love. And what we love always becomes our ally! Accepting situations means responding to situations with love. And love is the most powerful energy in the world. Actually, this is why we come - to accumulate love in our hearts and respond to all situations with love!
What is humility born from? From what we know, there are laws that govern Fate and we are ready to study and follow these laws. We have clear understanding that I am not this body, that I am the Soul. We are all Souls. When we incarnate here on Earth, unfortunately, most of us forget this and begin to consider ourselves a mortal body and live according to the principle - we live once and therefore everything must be done in time! But in fact, behind each of us there are hundreds and thousands of incarnations. We do not belong to this world - we come from another. The Earth for us is a School. Or as one of my Teachers says – boot camp!
Therefore, it is important for each of us here to take the platform of the Disciple. We are all Students here. We must learn here on Earth to stand on a platform of trust and openness to the Higher Source - everything that happens to me here on Earth is given for my good, although sometimes at the first moment it may seem to me that this is not so! Each of us must understand that there is a Higher Power that takes care of us. This Higher Power is God! And here even a blade of grass will not move unless it is the will of God. If something happens in our lives, it means God willed it! When we don’t accept a situation, it’s as if we are expressing our disagreement to God - they say, God, you didn’t notice something. We express our reproach! By this behavior we place ourselves above God, and in Christianity this behavior is called pride.
Pride, if you remember, is one of the 7 deadly sins. A proud person is always weak, because he lives without taking into account the laws of the Universe. He gets into a fight with God's will. Who do you think will win? The will of man or the will of God? The answer is obvious. Because the will of man is the will of egoism. And the will of God is the will of Love and Supreme Justice. Supreme Justice, because there is the law of karma - you can avoid human judgment, but it is impossible to avoid God’s. And by good deeds We will be rewarded, even for the bad. The events of our lives are created by ourselves. They are created by our past incarnations, our thoughts and actions in the past. Our past created our present, our present creates our future! All Souls incarnated on Earth are under the authority Higher Powers, under the authority of God, who monitor the fulfillment of the karmic law. We all walk under God. We are all children of God! Proud man forgets about it!
As soon as we are not with God, we have a lot of egoism, claims to this world, various fears, resentments, etc. We are facing many blows to fate. We are scarce, flawed inside. In this world we act only in two directions - either from the Soul or from the Ego! Everything we do from the Soul is our selfless actions. We just do and don't expect anything in return. It is these actions that fill us with happiness and bring us closer to God. Everything we do from the Ego (our Ego and our mind are a single connection) - we expect the same response from the second and if we don’t receive it, claims, resentments, and irritation begin. We are moving away from God! When we are humble, we are with God; when we do not accept the situation, we are without God. And happiness and harmonious solutions to problems are possible only when we are with God. Tell me, is there any problem that could not be solved if God is with me?
For me, one example of true humility is Nick Vujicic. A man who was born without arms and legs. However, today he is a millionaire and a lecturer in demand all over the world. He is married and has a son. Lives full, happy and rich life. Helps and inspires others! All this became possible after he humbled himself - accepted himself as God created him! He was able to see the Supreme Divine plan in the fact that he was born disabled. But you know, I can’t bring myself to call him disabled. He is not disabled. Many of us are disabled – disabled souls! Nick, of course, also went through rejection and despondency....however, he understood what God wanted from him! Humility opened up a huge flow of energy for him to fully realize his full potential. Watch the interview with Nick here, I hope it will inspire you a lot and give you A New Look for life:
http://www.1tv.ru/news/world/230810
From the bottom of my heart I wish you to understand and be imbued with the understanding that humility is the greatest pearl. Become the shell in which this pearl will grow and live. And your life will be filled with miracles! Love and all the best to you and your loved ones!
Humility is, first of all, living with peace in your soul! At peace with yourself, in harmony with the world around you and God. Humility is the internal acceptance of situations that happen to us. Any situation, no matter what areas of life it concerns.
For example, Ayurveda - Vedic medicine, believes that a sick person has no chance of being healed if he does not accept his illness. Almost any disease can be cured, but only when a person has internally accepted it, humbled himself, understood why the disease came into his life, and worked through the tasks that the disease sets for him. It’s the same with all difficult situations in life - until you accept it, you won’t change it.
How do I understand whether I accept the situation or not? If I accept it, there is peace inside me, nothing bothers me, nothing stresses me out about the situation. I think about her and speak calmly. Inside there is complete calm and relaxation. Only if I don’t accept it, then there is tension inside, internal dialogue, claims, resentments, irritation, etc. pain. The more pain, the more rejection. As soon as we take it, the pain goes away.
Many people understand weakness and humiliation by the word acceptance or humility. They say I’ve resigned myself, which means I’ll sit with my hands folded and come what may, let everyone wipe their feet on me. In fact, true humility gives dignity to a person. Humility and acceptance within are internal qualities, and on the external level I take some actions.
Let's look at a few examples:
1. We often encounter difficulties in personal relationships. Our head has a different picture of the relationship with our loved one than the one we get in reality. In our head, both the image and the behavior of a loved one are different than what we receive in fact. It is the discrepancy between the desired and the actual that causes us suffering and pain. Often we see the root of our troubles not in ourselves, but in others. Now he will change and I will stop suffering. Remember, the cause of troubles is not in another person or his behavior, the cause is in us and in our attitude towards a loved one.
First of all, we must accept reality as it is. Our reality is created by our subconscious programs and God. We don't actually get what we want, but what we deserve. This is how the law of karma works - what goes around comes around. The current reality was sown by us, by some of our actions in the past - in this or a past life. Protesting and suffering is stupid and not constructive! It is much more constructive to internally accept reality as it is. Accept your loved one for who he is, with all his shortcomings and advantages, with all his attitude towards us. Take responsibility for everything that happens in our lives - for events, for people, for their attitude towards us - onto ourselves! Only I am responsible for what happens in my life.
It is we who “attracted everything to ourselves.” It is my actions and energies that force the other person to act towards me in a way that may not be entirely pleasant for me. Our own karma comes to us through those close to us. And then, rolling up your sleeves, you need to begin the internal work. Everything that happens to us here is lessons. Our loved ones are our most important teachers. Every difficult situation is sent to us not to fight it, but to educate us. Thanks to this situation, we can understand life more deeply, change something in ourselves for the better, develop unconditional love, rise to a new level of development, gain some life experience necessary for our soul, and pay off our karmic debt.
Only after accepting the situation can you finally begin to think about what is actually being taught. Why is this situation sent to us? By what behavior and thoughts we brought this situation to life! Maybe we are not coping with our role as a man or a woman, are we developing qualities that are alien to our nature? This means we must go and gain knowledge on how to properly perform our role. How a man should act in this world and how a woman should act, so that it would be in harmony with the laws of the universe. I always say that in order to be a man or a woman, it is not enough to be born in a male or female body. You have to become a man or a woman - this is a big task in life. And with the implementation of this task our destiny in the world begins.
But this is not the only cause of problems in relationships, although it is, of course, the most global and it is from this that all other problems in gender relations are born. Again, each case is very individual, of course. Maybe this situation teaches us self-respect and we should say no to relationships, or maybe we need to learn to stand up for ourselves, not let another person insult us, humiliate us, and God forbid beat us. That is, having internally accepted the situation, I now protect myself not with emotions of resentment and irritation, but with emotions of love for myself and for others, with emotions of acceptance. That is, internally we are completely calm - but externally we may say rather harsh words, take some measures, do not allow ourselves to be insulted, and firmly put the other person in his place. That is, we act on an external level without getting involved in emotion, not from the position of ego and resentment - we act from the position of the soul.
When we struggle with a situation without acceptance, everything comes from our emotions and ego. You need to feel like a soul and learn to act in this world like a soul, and not like a clot of egoism. Another very important point - yes, on the external plane we take some actions to change the situation, but inside we must always be ready to accept any development of events. Repeat as often as possible that this has sounded in you like a mantra - I am internally ready or ready to accept any development of events! Everything will happen the way God wants - man proposes, God disposes. We must free ourselves from our hold on the result - they say, I only want it this way and not otherwise. Here on earth, in everything and always, God has the last word - and we must accept this!
Another point - often problems in personal relationships are given to work out character traits - perhaps the partner’s behavior indicates to us that we are touchy, jealous, critical, rude, assertive, despotic, we are trying to subordinate the other to our will, without taking into account his desires, we are trying to remake him for ourselves, etc. means we must free ourselves from these qualities. For example, if you are critical, then you must stop concentrating on a person’s shortcomings and learn to see the merits in a person, say kind words to him, praise him, give him compliments. Every person has qualities for which to praise him - learn to see them!
If you are jealous, you must learn to trust the person and your relationship. Giving your partner free space - he is not your property. And also in this case, you must develop confidence in yourself and your attractiveness. Take care of yourself, fulfill your male or female role correctly. And most importantly, give love to your partner. Jealousy says that your partner is dear to you and you don’t want to lose him, but jealousy as a way of expressing love is very destructive, because sooner or later it will destroy the relationship. Keep in mind that if you are jealous, you are energetically already inviting a third person into your relationship and his appearance is a matter of time.
So with all other emotions: all that is required of you is to replace the negative with a positive antipode and train your consciousness for a new attitude towards your partner and the situation.
Relationships are always about respect, freedom, love and giving. This is service to each other! In relationships, we should think less about what our partner should do in relation to us and think more about what we should do in relation to him. Because often having a list of requirements for the second half, to put it mildly, we ourselves are far from meeting this list! Always remember about your area of responsibility in a relationship and think less about your partner’s area of responsibility.
It all starts with you - the right energy will come from you and your partner will also begin to give you harmonious energy. The saying is as old as time - change yourself and the world around you will change too. A person who is not humble, instead of changing himself, wants to change the world. This is the trouble, this is the whole root of suffering. And the box opens so easily!
2. or another example. Consider a disease. For example, we confirm the diagnosis of cancer or any other unpleasant diagnosis. And then people start asking questions - why is this happening to me, why do I need it. The fear of death turns on. There is a complete rejection of the disease and a rush to doctors - who will save and who will help! This is the road to nowhere!
The first thing you need to do is accept the disease. Illness is not stupid, it always comes in a targeted manner, because illness is actually a signal from our subconscious mind that we are doing something wrong. This is a signal that our behavior and our reactions to events are harmful to us. Illness is the universe's appeal to us. God tells us through illness - you are breaking the laws of the universe, stop! Only if we talk specifically about cancer, then it is a disease of resentment. A person is very offended by someone and carries this resentment within himself for a long time. Perhaps for years. On a subconscious level, when we are offended, we send destruction to the person we were offended by. And this program of destruction, like a boomerang, returns to us.
A person’s resentment eats away and that’s why cancer—cancer cells—corrode the body. We need to work through the past, forgive and let go of grievances. Accept both past situations and the illness that is now. And only after doing this internal work can we expect that our external actions in connection with illness - hospitalization, medications, surgery and chemotherapy - will bear positive fruit. Only if we fight the disease, do not accept it, use only external methods, run to various kinds of specialists without doing any work inside - the result will be disastrous. Because fighting only makes the situation worse. Here I used cancer as an example, but we should do the same with any other disease!
True, don’t go to extremes - you don’t need to look for deeper reasons in a mild cold. A cold can only mean that yesterday you dressed too lightly and stood in a draft for a long time! Or that you’ve been working too much lately, so your body decided to put you to rest. Relax, pamper yourself and go ahead!
But serious illnesses require treatment. In general, the path to many serious illnesses begins with grievances - if a person does not internally accept them, then betrayals are given, if this person does not pass, then illnesses and blows of fate follow. And the more egoism, the stronger the blows. We also get sick when we don’t go according to our destiny, when we don’t fulfill our tasks. When we eat wrong. Western medicine says that all diseases are caused by nerves, while Eastern medicine says that all diseases are caused by poor nutrition. Therefore, in order not to get sick with anything other than a cold - learn to accept, stop being offended, start living in harmony with yourself and God, do your duty, follow your destiny and lead a healthy lifestyle, eat right! On an internal level, learn to open up and live in complete trust in a higher source! In complete trust and love! Understand that you are God’s creation and God knows what and why he is doing in your life!
And if you do get sick, then take a comprehensive approach to treatment and recovery. Work on the inner plane and use what medicine offers. For example, work with a psychologist and work with a doctor! More than once I have met people who follow the spiritual path and believe that a disease can be cured only by internal work on oneself - they say, medical manipulations and medications are not required. Be smart! We are still very far from reaching the level where only internal work on ourselves will produce results.
Don’t go to the other extreme: when a person believes that he can only be cured using external methods - medicine, drugs, etc. for healing, we still need an integrated approach, because when we are in the embodied state, there is a trinity - the spirit , soul and body. And problems on one of these plans indicate problems on others! After all, the disease first originates on the subtle plane - from our incorrect worldview, thoughts, actions, deeds. And only then does it move to the physical plane. Therefore, it is necessary to treat both internal and external - only then will there be a lasting result. After all, it often happens that a person seems to have been cured, but after a while he fell ill again. And all because there were no changes inside!
3. Well, just an everyday example. For example, our wallet with documents, credit cards, money was stolen - we internally accept this and are not upset, but externally we take action: we go write a statement, do everything to find our documents, wallet, and punish the criminal. Only we are not driven by resentment, anger and irritation. We don’t wish for another that his hands would wither and never grow again, we don’t send curses on his head, etc. no, we are calm inside - we understand that since God sent us this, it means it’s needed for some reason. We just calmly do what is required of us, without hysterics and curses at the thief. Again, maybe our wallet wasn’t stolen - maybe we dropped it ourselves?
Or let’s say we don’t have a job - we accept it internally, we don’t blame anyone for it: they say the country is in the wrong place and the situation in it is wrong. We don’t attribute everything to circumstances and don’t retire to drink bitter drinks. Yes, this is true today - we don’t have a job, which means we have more time to figure out what we really want to do professionally. Was the job we did before our dream job? Or maybe we only worked for her to pay the bills? Maybe God deliberately deprived us of this job, so that we would finally go and start doing the job of our dreams, begin to realize the talents inherent in us!
Or, for example, if I am a woman, maybe it’s time for me to devote more time to home and shift the financial support of the family onto the shoulders of my husband, as this is generally how it should be! Maybe it's time to finally feel like a woman - the keeper of the home and start organizing a space of love and beauty around you and in your home! We are calm. And we calmly analyze the state of things. In the outside world, we don’t lie on the couch, but at least look through some advertisements and send out CVs. At the same time, we don’t blame our fate, God - they say we didn’t notice, the government, etc. on the contrary - we are grateful to fate that everything is so, because maybe around the corner something better awaits us than our previous work (at least for us there was time to take a break from the eternal race) and maybe with the wallet that was stolen from us, we paid off bigger (emphasis on the o) problems than just losing money. Who knows? Only God knows this. Only he has a complete picture of the world. So in everything - complete trust in God, knowledge and understanding that God knows what and why he is doing in my life! Adoption!
The most amazing thing is that inner acceptance and calmness solves many problems very quickly - a person recovers, his wallet is often with all his money and documents, relationships with loved ones are restored. One way or another, one way or another, any problems are solved. I've seen this more than once. Both in your life and in the lives of other people who have developed and practice accepting situations. Because acceptance opens up a huge flow of energy - we find ourselves right in this flow and attract the best solutions to ourselves like a magnet. It's all very simple - we just go through the situations correctly and we are rewarded a hundredfold. Acceptance is love. And what we love always becomes our ally! Accepting situations means responding to situations with love. And love is the most powerful energy in the world. Actually, this is why we come - to accumulate love in our hearts and respond to all situations with love!
What is humility born from? From what we know, there are laws that govern destiny and we are ready to study and follow these laws. We have a clear understanding that I am not this body, that I am a soul. We are all souls. When we incarnate here on earth, unfortunately, most of us forget this and begin to consider ourselves a mortal body and live according to the principle - we live once and therefore we need to do everything in time! But in fact, behind each of us there are hundreds and thousands of incarnations.
He who has humility imitates Christ Himself. Such a person never loses his temper, does not condemn anyone and does not become arrogant. Never craves power, avoids human glory. Doesn't swear for any reason.
He is not insolent when talking and always listens to other people's advice. Avoids beautiful clothes, appearance his is simple and modest.
A person who meekly endures all humiliation and humiliation receives great benefit from this. Therefore, do not be sad, but, on the contrary, rejoice that you are suffering. In this way you gain precious humility that saves you.
“I humbled myself, and He saved me” (Ps. 115:5). You should always keep these words in mind.
Don't be upset when you are judged. Sadness over such an occasion means that you have vanity. Anyone who wants to be saved must fall in love with human contempt, because contempt brings humility. And humility frees a person from many temptations.
Never be jealous, do not envy, do not strive for fame, do not seek high positions. Try to always live unnoticed. It’s better not to let the world know you, because the world leads into temptation. With his vain speeches and empty incitements, he deceives us and causes us spiritual harm.
Your goal should be to achieve humility. To be the lowest. Considering that you are not doing anything worthy of your salvation. You must pray to God to save you according to his goodness.
Humility, obedience and fasting give rise to the fear of God, and the fear of God is the beginning of true wisdom.
Do everything you do with humility, so as not to suffer from your own good deeds. Don't think that only those who work hard get great rewards. Anyone who has good will and, along with it, humility, even without being able to do much and without being skilled in anything, will be saved.
Humility is achieved through self-reproach, that is, the conviction that essentially you are not doing anything good. Woe to the one who considers his sins insignificant. He will certainly fall into more serious sin.
A person who humbly endures all condemnation directed at him approaches perfection. Even the Angels admire him, because there is no more difficult to achieve and greater virtue than humility.
Poverty, sorrow and contempt are the crowns for a monk. When a monk meekly endures rudeness, slander and contempt, he easily frees himself from bad thoughts.
The awareness of one’s weakness before God is also worthy of praise. This is knowing yourself. “I cry and lament,” says Saint Simeon the New Theologian, “when the light illuminates me, and I see my poverty and know where I am.” When a person recognizes his spiritual poverty and realizes what level he really is at, then the light of Christ will shine in his soul, and he will begin to cry (talking about this, the elder was moved and began to cry).
If another person calls you selfish, don’t let it make you sad or upset. Just think to yourself: “Perhaps I am like that and I don’t understand it myself.” One way or another, we should not depend on other people's opinions. Let everyone look into their conscience and be guided by the words of experienced and knowledgeable friends, and first of all, ask for forgiveness from their confessor. And on the basis of all this he builds his spiritual path.
You write that you cannot fight. Do you know why this happens? Because you don't have enough humility. You believe that you can achieve this only on your own. But when you humble yourself and say: “By the power of Christ, the help of the Mother of God and the prayer of the elder, I will achieve what I want,” be sure that you will succeed.
I, of course, do not have such prayer power, but when you, having humbled yourself, say: “With the prayer of the elder, I can do everything,” then, according to your humility, the grace of God will begin to act, and everything will work out.
God looks upon “the humble and the contrite” (Isa. 66:2). But for meekness, calmness and humility to come, work is necessary. This work is rewarded. To gain humility, it seems to me, you do not need numerous bows and obediences, but first of all, your thoughts must descend down to the earth itself. Then you will not have the fear of falling, because you are already below. And if you fall while you’re below, you won’t get hurt.
In my opinion, although I certainly don’t read much or do anything extraordinary, humility is the shortest path to a person’s salvation. Abba Isaiah says: “Teach your tongue to ask for forgiveness, and humility will come to you.” Train yourself to say “Forgive me,” even if at first it is unconscious, and gradually you will get used to not only saying these words, but also feeling it in your heart.
The saints teach that no matter how great your goodwill is when you ask for forgiveness - in other words, humility - God will enlighten the other so that the desired truce between you can be achieved. When you lament and say, “I am guilty, but I don’t realize it,” soon you will be able to say, “Yes, I am indeed guilty.” And when you convince yourself that you are truly guilty, the other person will also change his attitude towards you.
Persistently ask God to give you the gift of self-reproach and humility.
When praying, ask God to give you the ability to see only your own sins and not notice the sins of others. “Grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother,” says Saint Ephraim the Syrian.
A humble person considers himself the lowest among all. And therefore he loves everyone, forgives everyone and, most importantly, does not condemn anyone.
Translation from Modern Greek: editors of the online publication “Pemptusia”
How to come to terms with a situation that cannot be changed
What you assessed as black ended up being white, and - you see this in the example own life– this is exactly what happens most often.
Therefore, it is very important to remove the assessment of the situation from the position of your understanding of correctness, and leave only a statement of the situation. Yes, I see that such a situation has occurred. What I feel? I feel uncomfortable in it, it’s difficult, I have to strain, and something else.
Next - what can I do to make it different? I do.
The situation has not been completely resolved, but I believe that it will eventually be resolved the best way, so I just trust the world and switch to solving other problems. I don’t waste energy on grievances about life, complaining about injustice, etc., I direct it to creation, and then I become the real mistress of my life, and not an eternal victim of circumstances.
Everything simply is, and today it is like this, and I accept this situation because I believe that it has come because I need it for something. And I concentrate on understanding why, and not on being dissatisfied.
Humility in psychology. What is patience and humility?
Our life consists not only of joyful experiences, but also of problems that we need to learn to overcome. To do this we need patience. This means calmly accepting the vicissitudes of fate and even in the most difficult situations keep your mind clear. For this, a person needs humility. This is one of the main virtues in Christianity.
Humility – complete opposite pride. A humble person relies on the mercy of the Lord; he accepts with joy and gratitude what the Lord has given him, and never puts himself above others. To be humble is to live at peace with yourself.
Patience is closely related to humility. If a person is at peace with himself and at the same time remains calm in difficult situations, it’s easy for him to overcome them. An example of true patience and humility is Jesus Christ. For the sake of a higher goal, he endured unbearable torment and at the same time was not angry, did not wish harm to anyone, and did not grumble at fate.
What is acceptance of a situation?
Acceptance is a new level of understanding.
This is the understanding that everything that happened to you, for some reason, you need.
Understanding that the problem always comes from within you to the outside, and is manifested from within by external circumstances. You receive what you broadcast to the World.
The Outer World signals you, through the situation, what to pay attention to in YOURSELF.
Understanding that accepting a situation does not mean agreeing with the injustice of what is happening to you, does not mean submitting to circumstances.
Accept this:
- Agree that the situation has already been created and that we need to move forward based on the presence of this fact.
- Agree that it is impossible to change events, but you can understand them differently.
- Find the reason why this situation arose in your life, and understand what to do so that this does not happen to you.
About humility
- Humility towards God is a vision of one’s sins, hope only in God’s mercy, but not in one’s own merits, love for Him, combined with uncomplainingly enduring life’s hardships and difficulties. Humility is the desire to subordinate one’s will to God’s holy will, the good and all-perfect will. Since the source of any virtue is God, then, along with humility, He Himself indwells the soul of a Christian. Humility will reign in the soul only when “Christ is represented” in it (Gal. 4:19).
- In relation to other people - lack of anger and irritation even towards those who, it would seem, fully deserve it. This sincere kindness is based on the fact that the Lord loves the person with whom the disagreement occurred, just as he loves you, and the ability not to identify your neighbor as God’s creation and his sins.
- A person who has humility towards himself does not look at the shortcomings of others, since he sees his own perfectly well. Moreover, in any conflict he blames only himself, and in response to any accusation or even insult addressed to him, such a person is ready to say a sincere “I’m sorry.” All patristic monastic literature says that without humility a good deed cannot be accomplished, and many saints said that you can have no other virtue other than humility and still find yourself close to God.
What is the value of humility
We are accustomed to resisting humility, but if we look at this term from a different angle, it turns out that there is no need to be afraid of its onset.
At the moment of humility comes relief, liberation.
It allows you to reach new spiritual level, where you find support from higher powers.
Humility is not weakness, not a state of victimhood.
Humility is liberation from struggle.
Acceptance is, in my opinion, one of the main human virtues that contributes to happiness. Acceptance frees your attention from everything unnecessary and allows you to direct it to what really matters.
What is acceptance? Acceptance is the opposite of denial, rejection. Acceptance allows accept reality, as she is, and not feel frustrated because she doesn’t live up to your expectations.
Many human suffering are born out of differences between people's expectations about the nature of reality and how that reality appears to us.
Our expectations may relate to how people should behave, how we ourselves should be... We can expect all people to treat us well. We can expect our government to be humane and fair. We can expect from ourselves that we will always be healthy, attractive and ideal.
But our expectations are often not entirely adequate to the state of reality. Reality dictates its demands. Reality acts in accordance with its own laws, and not in accordance with our expectations.
Not all people show sincere admiration us, no matter how good we are. Government workers have the same vices that we are subject to, and do not always act fairly. But we are not ideal, our health and beauty are not eternal.
These are facts of life from which there is no escape. We can either come to terms with these facts, accept them, since we do not always have the opportunity to influence them. Or we will experience a perpetual rejection of the fact that some things in this life are not the way we would like them to be, although we still will not be able to influence these things.
Of course, we can influence our health, play sports, quit bad habits. But we will not be able to change the fact that it deteriorates with age, no matter how initially healthy person neither was.
Banal truths
We can either accept these facts of life or not accept them, giving rise to meaningless suffering. Naturally, the best of these options is the first option.
Some people will think that I am saying terribly banal things. But, as I have noticed more than once, many of the most valuable truths are very obvious! Originality is often the property of error and confusion. And the truth is simple.
Despite its simplicity, it is not accepted by most people. Remember how many times have you felt angry because of things that you cannot change? For example, due to rudeness on the road, in public transport or because of the arbitrariness of the management of your company.
Yes, people can be evil, unfair and act in their own interests, neglecting the interests of others. Didn't you know that? Isn't this an obvious statement? Of course everyone knows about this! But you forget about this every time you yell at someone, get upset because you were rude or treated unfairly.
In such moments, your emotions are a reflection of your reaction of rejection. It’s as if you are shouting: “I refuse to accept this order of things, I don’t want it, I won’t put up with it, even if I can’t do anything!” In this impulse, you become like a child who was offended by the nightstand when he hurt his foot on it.
Acceptance is a very simple concept in its formulation. “Accept the world as it is!” What could be simpler? But reality proves that achieving acceptance is not so easy.
The greater our expectations, the more disconnected they are from reality, the deeper the suffering and rejection.
We potentially have more power over our inner world than above external reality. Therefore, when we are unable to change the world around us, we can always adjust our perception of this world, our expectations...
Acceptance is not the same as passive resignation!
Here I want to make an important clarification. Acceptance is not a path of passive resignation to any circumstances; it is not a way to give up and adapt to any conditions.
Accepting reality as it is does not mean coming to terms with the fact that your husband offends you. This does not mean putting up with a job you don’t like, throwing up your hands and silently enduring. This does not mean coming to terms with your shortcomings and doing nothing to eradicate them.
Acceptance does not exclude struggle, work on oneself, continuous improvement their lives, improving their living conditions. Acceptance only means that you do not become emotionally involved in things over which you have no control. And even if you can influence something, then you do it with a mind free of indignation.
Suppose a colleague is systematically rude to you at work. For example, his rudeness is due to the fact that your salary is higher than his earnings. He envies you and considers it his duty to somehow tease you on the sly. Can you influence the fact that a stranger feels envy? No you can not. At least not to your own detriment. You won’t give up your salary so that your colleagues don’t envy you, will you? People envy and envy makes them intrigue and behave ignoble. This is a fact of life.
Can you somehow influence the fact that you are rude every day? I think yes. You can just calmly talk to this person and find out what the problem is. One conversation face to face is enough. Even if this dialogue does not contain any threats and is peaceful.
People love to weave secret intrigues, to act on the sly, to play the game to the public, but they do not like to act directly, “head-on”. And when they are directly asked about their motives, called to answer, they experience the shame of exposure, the bitter feeling that you are talking to them about something that they avoided talking about directly. This makes these people less willing to engage in unwanted behavior towards you.
If talking doesn't help, then you can take other measures...
In general, you cannot influence the fact that people feel envy.
But you can exclude rudeness addressed to you in specific case. It's within your power. Therefore, you calmly achieve this. At the same time, you don’t think, “What a bad person, what a boor, I’ll show him, he must answer for this!”
You don't spend the whole evening thinking about this person, wanting revenge. You are the master of your own condition. You do not allow anyone to manipulate you and influence your mood. You accept the fact that people are unfair and rude to you as one of the facts of life.
But at the same time, instead of silently withstanding this rudeness, you adjust the situation to your advantage. And you do it calmly, without irritation, anger and constant thoughts of injustice. If you can't do this, it's not so bad. You are not strongly attached to the idea of restoring justice if it is not possible to restore it.
You accept that fairness is not always an inherent property of reality. This is acceptance!
This is different from passive humility, and I have gone into detail with this example to emphasize this difference. Acceptance is not the opposite of action!
Acceptance and self-development
Acceptance is very important property in the process of self-development. Why? Because self-improvement means that your best qualities will develop, and shortcomings will disappear. But one of the side effects» personality development is a strong rejection, the stage of denial.
Denial is a chimera of self-development. And we need to fight this. It is necessary to constantly pay attention to this.
Why does this denial occur?
Next, I will tell you a little about myself, about my experience with rejection. You may not have the same experience, but maybe you will experience something similar. This part of the article will warn you against some things. I have already briefly touched on this issue in the article. Here I will talk about this in more detail.
When I began to analyze myself, to direct my attention to own development, I suddenly realized that what I had always considered an integral and uncontrollable part of my personality was, in fact, controllable.
I used to think that emotions and fears could not be controlled by willpower, and that personality could not be changed. But then I realized that I can become my own master! And the main thing is that I was convinced of this by example. But here a danger emerged, which partly stemmed from excessive arrogance.
I believed that I could always control everything. This became my attitude, my unbreakable credo! And so I refused to accept that sometimes, after my success in self-control, my emotions would again get the better of me.
I felt frustrated that despite my belief in omnipotent self-control, I was still lazy, nervous, certain situations, was losing control of himself. Of course, this already happened much less frequently than before. Since then I have made significant progress in controlling myself. But I couldn't full force to be happy about this progress, as I was feeling frustrated by my failures.
The very fact that I cannot control everything has always bothered me greatly. This made me angry with myself. I also got angry at other people...
The result of this rejection was that I began to project it onto the people around me. I did not accept certain things in myself and, as a result, I did not accept them in other people. I experienced
frustration that people act on emotions, are influenced by prejudices and do not understand things that have become obvious to me.
My rejection turned into such a form of denial that I began to deny all my previous habits, all my previous life, all my previous experiences. I thought “this is the old me – bad”, and “the new me is good”. Yes, I really had a lot bad habits. But I thought little about what was bad and what was good in my old and new life, and I simply denied everything.
But only later did I realize that even in this past life there was a lot of useful and valuable experience that needs to be transferred to a new life, and not disowned. And there is no past and new life, there is only one life of mine. She may have changed a lot, but it was always me who did not stand still and changed.
I have changed, I have realized many things, but I am very far from perfect, I can still have weaknesses, I can still experience emotions, which I write about overcoming on my website. This is normal, nothing can be done about it. I'm working on myself, but not everything is in my control!
Yes, I will fight, I will act, but there are things that I cannot influence.
The same goes for other people. They have the same weaknesses that I have. And they have the right to these weaknesses! People are who they are! Someone wants to change, someone can use my help. And someone will criticize my ideas and deny my experience.
And I can’t always influence this!
Such is the nature of things! This is another fact of life to accept! Why should I do something that I can't influence? own problem and a source of frustration?
This understanding had (and continues to have) a very beneficial and sobering effect on me. It was even fatal and marked a whole new stage in my development.
I think this is very important and therefore I try to provide detailed examples in this article.
"Lion Stage"
Due to last example from my life, I remember the stages of personality development that were outlined by the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche in his book “As Spoke Zarathustra.”
I was greatly influenced by this philosopher in my youth, having read all of his major books. But now my views are almost the opposite of the basic ideas of Nietzscheanism, which I am incredibly happy about. Nietzsche's philosophy contains the most dangerous delusions for the individual. My ideas have nothing in common with the sophisticated aesthetic hedonism and egocentrism that the German philosopher preached.
I won't dwell on this in detail. Let this be the topic of a separate article. This was a necessary remark. Since I am giving an example from Nietzsche's book, I should also briefly indicate my attitude towards his views.
So, the philosopher designates three stages of personality development.
The first stage is the camel. Man, like this animal, carries tons of weight on himself. Of course, the load is a metaphor. This refers to the ideological burden: moral norms, social stereotypes, behavior patterns, ideals. The camel does not ask what exactly is in the bags that were placed on it. Likewise, a person does not ask about the meaning of those values that were “hung” on him.
The second stage is the lion. This stage corresponds to a reassessment of values. The lion is a formidable and aggressive predator. A personality, like a lion, after a reassessment of values, will aggressively attack its past ideals, which society “hung” on it at the camel stage.
He will not ask what is bad and what is good, but will simply mindlessly destroy all this cargo.
This stage corresponds to the stage of denial, which I wrote about above.
The third stage is the infant. The baby looks at the world with an unclouded gaze. His perception is pure and free from stereotypes. Leo destroyed the previous ideals, and now the baby can re-experience nature, create new system values.
I gave this classification because I partly agree with it. I just don’t agree with the conclusions the philosopher comes to. His infant forms a new, bloodthirsty, opportunistic, hedonistic-oriented scale of values. My baby partially returns to the traditional values of goodness, love and compassion and happiness (namely, permanent happiness, and not temporary pleasure), only he perceives these values consciously, and does not thoughtlessly “throw” at himself, like a camel.
These values no longer serve him as abstract ideas, but become real, applied experience.
So, I gave an example of Nietzsche’s reasoning in order to clarify this article. I want you to notice the lion stage. This is the opposite of acceptance - denial, nihilism. Only in my example, the lion’s rage is directed not only at values and ideals, but at the world in general (and you yourself in particular) along with all its properties.
You took some steps in self-development and saw what you had not paid attention to before: your many problems and the problems of other people. And sudden awareness of these problems can lead to denial!
You must understand that denial, the “lion stage,” is not the last stage of personality development. I don’t want you to think that when you began to notice the weaknesses of other people more than before, when you began to pay attention to your own shortcomings, when you began to attack your previous ideals with the fury of a predator, then you have already reached the limit of development.
The Leo stage is inevitable for many people involved in self-development, so there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you don’t linger in it or, worse, stay in it forever.
There is a tempting temptation to constantly feed on an illusory sense of your own superiority over other people, to criticize their values and ideals, to criticize their behavior, although you yourself are a millimeter step away from them and just yesterday you were the same as them...
When awareness develops, reality reveals many new properties to you. And along with these properties, all the injustice and grief with which reality is saturated begins to appear.
There is a danger of getting carried away by denying this reality in connection with your new, enriched understanding of it.
Don't get caught up in this denial! Know that there is even better things to come! Conquer the lion in yourself!
How to defeat a lion?
How can you defeat this aggressive predator inside of you? How to learn to calmly accept reality as it is?
Get rid of expectations
As I wrote above, the stronger your expectations, the less they correspond to the facts of life, the stronger your rejection of reality becomes.
Expectations or mental attitudes, which prevent you from accepting reality as it is, may be the following:
“I have to be better than others in everything”
The fulfillment of this desire is impossible, because it does not happen ideal people and you can’t be better than others in everything. There will always be someone nearby who will be better than you at something. And there's nothing wrong with that, it's normal. This is even good, which is why people learn from each other, exchange experiences, adopt strengths other people.
Both the development of society and personal development are built on the mutual exchange of knowledge and skills.
If you rely only on yourself, believe that you should be better than everyone else, then you will suffer because you will never be able to fulfill this desire. And instead of learning from other people, you will grieve that they are superior to you in some way.
I dwelled on this aspect in more detail in the article why communication is needed.
"Everyone should treat me well"
This is impossible, just as it is impossible to be better than others in everything. No matter how good you are, you are unlikely to win the love and respect of everyone individual person. There will always be people who will not like you. And people who treat you badly are not necessarily bad.
And if someone doesn’t like you, it doesn’t always mean that you yourself are bad. Each person is a whole individual. And often people’s attitude towards other people depends on personal attitudes, upbringing, principles, available information, mental state and many others internal factors, which you cannot influence in any way.
The problem of attitude towards you is not always your personal problem! And this depends not only on you, but on the subject who perceives you.
Therefore, it is impossible to please everyone (more on this in the article). Therefore, what's the point of worrying about it?
But bad attitude to you is not always just another person’s problem. Sometimes it can show you your weaknesses. And if so, then a bad but fair opinion about you only benefits you, because you can change thanks to it! This is good, therefore, again, there is no point in worrying about it!
"I must always be right"
Every person can make mistakes. And you are no exception. You are not always right, even when you are sure of it. And if you think that the truth is only yours, then such an attitude will prevent you from being flexible, changing your views if they were previously wrong, or simply complementing them.
Each person's experience is limited and therefore opinions based on that experience are often erroneous or incomplete. The exchange of opinions between people should enrich each individual (more details in the article). But this will not happen if you think that your opinion is the only correct one. And you will suffer, because reality will sometimes show you how very wrong you are. This is normal and should be accepted as a fact rather than being frustrated by it.
“I have to prove that I am right to those who disagree with me”
No, they shouldn't. You will never convince some people that you are right, even if you are really close to the truth and are infallible in logic. Therefore, attempts to convince someone of something are often doomed to failure and only cause mutual indignation on both sides of such a dialogue.
Many people will never accept your views and beliefs, no matter how correct they may seem to you. This is a fact of life. So what if a person doesn’t agree with you? Who cares? Even if you suddenly manage to convince him, what will you gain from it? Often nothing!
“I must respond to every insult directed at me”
No, they shouldn't. If your neighbor's dog barks at you, you don't have to bark back. The fact that you were insulted should not create a problem for you. This remains the personal problem of the person who insulted you, not yours.
There is an excellent Buddhist parable. Once Buddha and his disciples passed by a village. People from the village began to insult Buddha, but he did not react to this. Buddha's disciples began to ask the teacher why he did not respond to such vile insults.
Buddha said: “These people are doing their job. They are angry. It seems to them that I am an enemy of their religion, their moral values. These people insult me, it's natural (My note. If adapted last statement context of this article, it can be rephrased as follows: people are angry at those who trample on their values and ideals. It `s naturally. This is a fact of life, I accept this fact).
I free man and my actions stem from my internal state. Nothing can manipulate me, including other people's insults. I am the master of my own fortune.”
In turn, the Buddha asked the disciples: “When we passed by another village, people brought us food, but we were not hungry and gave them their food back, what did they do with it?”
“They must have taken it back from us and distributed it to their children and animals.”
“It is so,” replied the Buddha. “I do not accept your insults, just as I once did not accept food from the inhabitants of another village. I return your resentment back to you. Do with it what you want."
Here, the Buddha’s words “I do not accept” do not mean “rejection” within the terminology of this article - do not confuse it. On the contrary, Buddha accepts the fact that people can be rude to him. Without accepting insults, he simply does not allow them into himself.
“I can always control everything”
No, not all. Life situations can be out of your control, just like your emotions. Accept it.
“Everything in life should turn out the way I want”
Life exists according to its own laws. And these laws do not always meet your expectations.
“I must always remain joyful”
In life there are moments of joy and moments of sorrow. A person is susceptible different conditions and one state replaces another. It is difficult to always remain cheerful and joyful.
Accept unpleasant emotions when they arise.
This advice may seem strange to those who have been reading my blog for a long time. After all, I always said that from negative emotions we need to get rid of them, but now I advise you to take them.
One does not contradict the other and, on the contrary, complements it. A person can be angry, irritated, prejudiced, and envious at times, no matter how well he knows how to control himself.
Accept this as a fact and don't beat yourself up for being weak at times, for not being as focused and focused on some days as you are on other days.
Everything is constantly changing within a person. One day you can stay focused, be confident, and feel happy and at peace. The next day everything will fall out of your hands, you will be frustrated and nervous and, sometimes, you yourself will not know what this is connected with.
This is the nature of things: nothing lasts forever, everything is constantly changing, and we cannot always track the causes of these changes. All that remains is to accept this as a fact. Today our condition does not meet our expectations: we are tired and irritated. But this is only a temporary mood, like any other. It will be replaced by another state. Therefore, you should not get hung up on it or experience rejection. As this feeling appeared, so it will pass.
This is what it means to accept.
“Health and beauty will never run out”
Health is a transitory thing, just like beauty. Accept the fact that these things will not be with you forever. Now you are young, healthy, successful with women, but this will not always be the case.
There is no need to be sad about this, just accept this fact so as not to be disappointed later. People who are too strongly attached to sexual pleasure, the sensory impressions of youth, and external splendor have great difficulty parting with these things when their time comes.
If these things once formed the basis of their existence, then, having lost these things, these people seem to be deprived of everything. Therefore, I believe that one should not focus on these things, but that it is also necessary to take care of moral, intellectual, and spiritual development.
“There should always be justice in life”
Unfortunately, life is neither fair nor unfair. The concept of justice exists only in the human mind. Justice is not an objective property of nature.
Your young neighbor may live much richer than you just because he has rich and influential parents, although he himself has not lifted a finger to achieve this position. Everything that you have strived for all your life through hard work, but haven’t reached it, your neighbor already has it.
Reality constantly shows us its inadequacy human concepts about injustice.
How your life will turn out depends very much on you. Much stronger than many of you are used to thinking. But, nevertheless, a lot depends on chance, on blind arbitrariness, beyond your control.
And instead of thinking about how unlucky you are, that your life did not turn out the way you wanted, lamenting the fact that you were born in the wrong family, in the wrong country, think about how lucky you are!
After all, everything could have turned out much worse. I constantly think about how good my fate was, that I was not born in the USSR during the times of repression, I do not starve and do not work 14 hours a day in a factory somewhere in North Korea, I don’t go deaf from shell explosions, sitting in the trenches at the front, I don’t suffer from any fatal disease.
When I hear about such horrors, I immediately begin to think that I could easily find myself in such a situation myself and that I am immeasurably lucky that I have food, water, a roof over my head, health and a bunch of other advantages of civilization. I don't expose myself every day mortal danger, which I am very happy about.
I don’t want to bring my reasoning to the point that you need to come to terms with everything and not try to make this world a better place. No, I want you to accept this world as it is, with all its injustice and bitterness, and stop denying the things it shows you.
Strive to make this world a better place and people happier! But come to terms with what you cannot influence!
People can be rude, angry and self-centered. It's a fact of life, accept it. Those on whom you depend do not always follow justice and considerations of concern for others. It's a fact of life, accept it.
Life doesn't always meet your expectations. It's a fact of life, accept it.
Acceptance is not the same as some kind of sad humility, when you realize that everything is bad and hang your head dejectedly, constantly being aware of the imperfections of this world.
No, acceptance means the absence of suffering for an empty reason, the absence of denial, which depletes your moral strength, causes anger and intolerance. Acceptance implies peace and freedom.
Freedom of your condition from negative manifestations outside world and from the will of other people!
Voltaire said: “We live in the best of all possible worlds!”
All we have is the world in which we live. And this world is what it is, and we are not given another world.
How often do we get irritated! With or without reason. Slow movement of the queue to the cash register, traffic jams, bad weather, which changes all our plans, children’s disobedience and much, much more. When we get irritated, we throw out negativity and, as a result, waste a lot of our energy. But for what? What we cannot change!
How same learn to accept not satisfactory to us situation, if we can't change it?
Acceptance means consciously admitting that something may not go the way we want, not the way we are used to, or not the way we planned. The opposite of acceptance is resistance or a negative attitude towards what is happening. For most, this model of behavior is more common, and we resist almost everything that goes against what we want.
But why do we resist? To some extent we are influenced by our past experience. For example, you are used to your parents always talking to you in a calm tone and, of course, you expect that this will be the case in the future. But one day you are faced with the fact that your parents have significantly raised their voice in a conversation with you. Of course, this is unpleasant for you and you perceive it negatively. Perhaps you even start shouting back, thus expressing your resistance to the current situation.
But resistance inevitably causes suffering.
Marathon runners have this slogan: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering – personal choice everyone." When a person runs a long distance, sooner or later his leg muscles begin to ache. And here the runner makes a choice - either to suffer, focusing on the pain, or to switch his attention to something else.
It’s the same in life: you may find yourself in a situation where you were betrayed, abandoned, something was taken away, your plans and dreams were destroyed, and you were left alone with difficulties. Of course it hurts. But whether to suffer is your personal choice.
Of course, there are simpler situations where there seems to be no pain - traffic jams, a slowly moving queue, a person does not answer our calls and SMS, work colleagues are extremely slow, etc. However, these situations irritate us because we experience discomfort. This is unpleasant for us, we are trying to overcome the current circumstances. How? to his negative attitude, resistance - because we are not comfortable, and we suffer to some extent.
Of course, when we find ourselves in circumstances that are unpleasant for us or even very difficult, of course, we try to act. However, you can act in different ways - with acceptance of the situation or with resistance to it. Which option is smarter?
To understand what acceptance is (not to be confused with inaction), imagine scientists who make their calculations without taking into account the fact that gravity acts on Earth. Where there is no gravity, some things are, of course, much easier to do. But there is gravity on Earth - scientists take it as a given, which they cannot change and base their calculations taking this phenomenon into account.
So, treat all situations that you don’t like, but which you can’t change, like... scientists earth's gravity– just take into account the current circumstances and act taking into account the changed situation.
Acceptance, like any other skill, can be trained, which means it can learn to accept the situation. How?
Step 1 – AWARENESS
You find yourself in a situation where something goes against what you want. You are unhappy. Become aware of this dissatisfaction within yourself. You can say to yourself, “I’m unhappy because such and such happened, and I wanted it to be that way.”
Why do this? The fact is that many people do not even realize what exactly irritates them so much in the current circumstances. Awareness is the first step towards understanding and accepting.
Step 2 – OBSERVATION WITHOUT EVALUATION
The essence of this step is to observe your thoughts and emotions without judging them as good or bad. It’s as if you look at yourself from the outside, allow everything that happens to you to BE, without doing anything about it.
Step 3 – PHYSICAL SENSATIONS
Pay attention to your physical sensations in the current situation - how you breathe, how fast your heart is beating, do you feel a rush of blood to your cheeks, do you have a headache, do your hands tremble, does your cheek twitch. What do you generally feel in your body?
Try to focus solely on breathing - concentrate on how the cooled air passes through the nasopharynx, descends into the lungs, how it expands rib cage how you exhale warm air. About 5 minutes of such focused breathing is enough to calm down.
Step 4 – TURN ON YOUR BRAIN
Once you have acknowledged your dissatisfaction, observed your thoughts and emotions, breathed and calmed down a little, it’s time to ask yourself the question: “What is my goal for this day?” this moment and how can I achieve it under the current circumstances?”
Sometimes to achieve your goal you will need to commit certain actions, and sometimes - just do nothing, calm down and wait.
STEP 5 – GRATITUDE
Any situation is given to us for something. Even in the most insignificant, in our opinion, unpleasant situation there is something useful for us. Your task is to realize WHAT EXACTLY and thank the world for the opportunity to learn and work on yourself.