Is it necessary to out-argue the arguer? Otherwise, debaters are such a category of people that it is more expensive for you to get involved with them. It’s better to avoid such guys and save your nerves and health. Oh, is it still necessary?
There are people whom you don’t feed with bread - let them take part in verbal skirmishes. That is, disputes. An arguer is a person who is firmly confident in himself and his knowledge - how can you out-argue such a person or even make him doubt that he is right? But no, it turns out it’s possible. And you must not only be stubborn and also know exceptionally well the topic about which the dispute will take place, but also know the techniques and methods of verbal skirmishes. What are these techniques and techniques?
Initiative. This is what, first of all, should be captured in a dispute.
How to do it?
There are several techniques. You can bombard your enemy with tricky questions that you prepared in advance after spending a week in the scientific library named after Lomonosov or, at worst, Nikolai Lobachevsky. If he answers them without hesitation, you should ask him the most tricky and intractable question and answer it yourself. The enemy will be somewhat confused, and this, in turn, will mean that the initiative in the dispute begins to pass to you.
Next, it is necessary to develop the already emerging success. And, having listened to the opponent’s opinion regarding a well-known truth, turn it inside out and present it as if this statement (which is topsy-turvy) was said by him.
For example, an opponent foaming at the mouth claims that two and two are four. You explode indignantly, bulge your eyes and shout hysterically in his face:
How do two and two make five? All my life there have been four, but then you come and say otherwise. No, my dear, twice multiplied by two equals four! It has always been so, is and will be!
Then you look around at the fans who surround you, inviting you to laugh with you at such a stupid dunno. Some of the people around me actually chuckle.
“I didn’t say at all that two and two are five,” the indignant opponent will begin to justify himself. – I was just saying that two and two equals four!
Here is another step towards victory taken. Because the arguer who begins to justify himself is already half defeated. In addition, the initiative is already completely in your hands. All that remains is to finish what we started and throw the enemy on his face.
“How ra-a-az,” you drawl sarcastically, mimicking your opponent. - Of course, what else can you do but say “just” after you’ve said such nonsense...
I? Stupidity?
The opponent is angry. And angry debaters make mistakes. And also, “if he’s angry, it means he’s wrong.” Observers of your dispute already think so. All you have to do is deliver the final, knockout blow. It should be something that makes your opponent's brain race, trying to understand what you said and why. The main thing is that what is said is not on topic. For example, you can tell some funny and short joke. With a smart look...
A patient comes to the doctor:
Doctor, I have delusions of grandeur!
What do you know about megalomania, pathetic little man?!
Disputants always categorically respect their opinions. That's why they have trouble with humor. After listening to the joke, your opponent will either stare at you with a dull gaze, wondering what you said (and this will be the finale), or ask a question:
And why did you tell this?
That's all. Everyone who was around you laughs, victory in the argument is decisively yours, and all that remains is to drive the last nail into the coffin. And you, looking mockingly at your former opponent, say:
Moreover, until the cancer whistles on the mountain, the man will not cross himself...
While your former opponent blinks, you turn and leave the battlefield victoriously. The observers leave with you. And the debater remains completely alone. As usually happens with the defeated...
As a person who loves verbal skirmishes, I love people who are confident that they are right. There is a lot of advice on the Internet on how to gain this confidence. And very little about how to cope with those who have already acquired it. If two stubborn people clash in a mortal battle for the truth, a very interesting dispute can result - a dispute in which the truth is never born.
An incorrigible aerophobe will convince you until the last moment that a train is faster than a plane. But if not faster, then cheaper. Safer, anyway. And why? Because if he tells the truth, you will begin to convince him that flying is not scary. In general, if the lamb has already taken a fancy to the gate, then the donkey has nothing to do there.
Fans of verbal battles help others enrich their vocabulary with interesting, unexpected phrases. If it weren't for them, I would never have known how to do it right "spit poison" and what the man wanted to tell the world, “stoned on old grandfather’s bath brooms”. In general, you will hear enough, read a lot and you will feel that soon from you "first bottling" there won't be a trace left.
Seasoned debaters have another remarkable feature - they love to ask others tricky questions, answer them themselves and laugh heartily at the answer. You won’t get bored with people like that, even if you are, as they say, “silent.”
Therefore, there is no need to “become a rag”; use proactive tactics. Take your opponent’s words, turn their meaning exactly the opposite way and present it as if he himself said it. Don't give him time to object. Just let him have time to get angry - angry people look funnier.
Let’s look at an example of how to find “one’s own” where one’s “one’s” is not there:
A boy of about five is hovering at the counter, looking at mint gum. After which he quietly “reads”: “Zhu-vach-ka-pust-na-ya!” And then he goes on a loud offensive: “They’re giving me permission!” The chewing gum looks like cabbage, but it smells like lettuce!”
Some people respect their own opinions so much that they lose their sense of humor. They see enemies everywhere. And this is very bad for the one who happens to be nearby. I admit, it’s awkward to feel like a cheerful fool surrounded by such seriousness.
To free yourself from the iron grip of a stubborn person who doesn’t understand jokes, catch and use one small but deadly weapon. With pigtails and a face smeared in chocolate. Because an “ordinary child” is a source of confidence and an antidote to it at the same time. Just talk to some child in the presence of your opponent. You will be pleased to watch how the “cracker’s” head comes apart at the seams, trying to analyze, for example, the following dialogue:
- Mom, you are dad!
- Who is dad?
- And dad is a horse!
Just talk to your child!
There must be iron logic in the disputant's judgments. But if at some point she cheated on you, then there is only one thing left - to knock out your interlocutor with a tough, undeniable argument. Brief and categorical, like a shot. And in this direction, children will once again serve as a worthy example for us adults.
- Bunny, why did you paint the hut yellow? After all, it is written: flat surfaces should be painted yellow, and non-flat surfaces should be painted green.
- That's what the teacher said.
- Well, look, the hut is made of logs, and the log is round. It’s even drawn separately so you can see that it’s round!
- Mother! The teacher is smarter than you!
In general, it is now clear where adults who are confident in their rightness come from. From children. That’s why I have always admired those who answer rhetorical questions in a jiffy and tell the TV what steps and in what direction of economic development (sports, culture, etc.) should be taken.
But more than anything else, I admire the keen eye (hearing, smell) of art connoisseurs. Those who convincingly explain what Dostoevsky hid behind his Raskolnikov, and Malevich behind the Black Square.
Apparently, at the time of creation of the works, one of them (or perhaps all of them) was nearby. Whether in the bedroom, under the bed; in the boudoir; or in that very notorious bathhouse in the form of that same grandfather’s broom that the author smoked.
And in this world of conjectures and conjectures, assumptions and complete hopeless confidence, what will save a creative person? Only deep, hopeless knowledge of the subject. And a clear, absolutely transparent presentation of your thoughts. Preferably one. And preferably - in a column.
Sometimes the success of our endeavors largely depends on our ability to convince people to accept our point of view.
But, unfortunately, this is not so easy to do, even if we have truth and common sense on our side. The ability to persuade is a rare but very useful gift. How to convince a person? Persuasion is a way of influencing people's consciousness, directed towards their own critical perception.
The essence of persuasion is to first achieve internal agreement with certain conclusions from the interlocutor using logical argumentation, and then, on this basis, create and consolidate new ones or transform old ones that correspond to a worthwhile goal.
Persuasive communication skills can be learned both at various trainings and on your own. The principles and techniques of persuasive speech given below will teach you the ability to persuade, and they are equally effective in persuading one person or an entire audience.
A clear understanding of your own intentions
In order to change or shape the opinions of people, or in order to induce them to take any action, you yourself need to clearly understand your intentions and be deeply confident in the truth of your ideas, concepts and ideas.
Confidence helps to make unambiguous decisions and implement them without hesitation, taking an unshakable position in assessing certain phenomena and facts.
Structured speech
The persuasiveness of speech depends on its structure - thoughtfulness, consistency and logic. The structured nature of speech allows you to explain the main points in a more accessible and understandable way, helps to clearly follow the intended plan, such speech is better perceived and remembered by the listener.
Introduction
An effective introduction will help to interest and attract a person’s attention, establish trust and create an atmosphere of goodwill. The introduction should be brief and consist of three or four sentences indicating the subject of speech and telling the reason why you should know what will be discussed.
The introduction sets the mood and tone of the speech. A serious beginning gives the speech a restrained and thoughtful tone. A humorous beginning sets a positive mood, but here it is worth understanding that starting with a joke and setting the audience in a playful mood, it will be difficult to talk about serious things.
It must be understandable, clear and meaningful - persuasive speech cannot be incomprehensible and chaotic. Break down your main points, thoughts and ideas into several parts. Consider smooth transitions that show the connection between one part of the speech and another.
- statement of facts that can be verified;
- expert opinions, judgments of people with authority in this field;
- , revitalizing and explaining the material;
- specific cases and examples that can explain and illustrate facts;
- description of your own experience and your theory;
- statistics that can be verified;
- reflections and forecasts about future events;
- funny stories and anecdotes (in a small dose), meaningfully reinforcing or revealing the points in question;
- literal or figurative comparisons and contrasts that illustrate statements by showing differences and similarities.
Conclusion
The conclusion is the most difficult and important part of a persuasive speech. It should repeat what was said and enhance the effect of the entire speech. What is said in conclusion, a person will remember longer. As a rule, it is at the end, along with a summary of what has been said, that a call to action sounds, which describes the actions and behavior of people necessary for the speaker.
Evidence-based arguments to support your idea
For the most part, people are rational and rarely do anything that is not beneficial to them. Therefore, in order to convince a person, you need to find good arguments explaining the justification and expediency of the proposal.
Arguments are thoughts, statements and arguments used to support a particular point of view. They answer the question of why we should believe something or act in a certain way. The persuasiveness of a speech largely depends on the correctness of the selected arguments and evidence.
What should be the criteria for evaluating and selecting arguments:
- The best arguments are those that are supported by solid evidence. It happens that a speech sounds convincing, but is not supported by facts. When preparing your speech, make sure your arguments are sound.
- Good arguments must be intelligently and concisely built into the proposal. They shouldn't sound out of place.
- Even if your argument is well supported and justified, it may not be accepted by a person. People react differently. For some, your facts and arguments will sound convincing, while others will not consider the arguments you used to be the main ones for assessing the situation. Of course, you cannot know for sure what impact your argument will have on the person being persuaded, but you can at least approximately guess and estimate what the result will be based on the analysis of the personality (audience).
To ensure that you present a truly compelling case, you should ask yourself at least three questions:
- Where did the information come from, from what source? If evidence comes from a biased or unreliable source, it is best to either exclude the evidence from your speech or seek confirmation from other sources. Just as one person's words are more trustworthy than another's, so some printed sources are more reliable than others.
- Is the information current? Ideas and statistics should not be outdated. What was true three years ago may not be true today. Your generally persuasive speech may be questioned due to one inaccuracy. This should not be allowed!
- What relevance does this information have to the case? Make sure the evidence clearly supports the arguments you are making.
Presenting information and formulating goals with a focus on attitudes and audiences
An attitude is a stable or predominant feeling, negative or positive, associated with a particular issue, object or person. Usually people verbally express such attitudes in the form of opinions.
For example, the phrase: “I think that memory development is very important both for everyday life and for professional activities” is an opinion that expresses a person’s positive attitude toward developing and maintaining a good memory.
To convince a person to believe, you first need to find out what positions he occupies. The more information you gather about it, the better your chances of making a correct assessment. The more experienced you are in the field of audience analysis, the easier it will be to make your speech persuasive.
The attitudes of a person or group of people (audience) can be distributed on a scale, from openly hostile to extremely supportive.
Describe your audience as: having a negative attitude (people have a completely opposite point of view); does not have a clear opinion on this matter (listeners are neutral, they have no information); positive attitude (listeners share this point of view).
The difference of opinion can be represented in this way: hostility, disagreement, restrained disagreement, neither for nor against, restrained favor, favor, exceptional favor.
1. If the listeners completely and completely share your opinion, understand what you are talking about and agree with you in everything, then you need to adjust your goal and concentrate on a specific plan of action.
2. If you think that your listeners do not have a definite opinion on your topic, set the goal of convincing them to act by forming an opinion:
- If you believe that your audience doesn't have a point of view because it's uninformed, then your first priority is to give them enough information to help them understand the point, and only then make compelling calls to action.
- If the audience is neutral in relation to the subject, it means that it is capable of objective reasoning and can perceive reasonable arguments. Then your strategy is to present the best arguments available and back them up with the best information.
- If you believe that those listening to you do not have a clear position because the subject is deeply indifferent to them, you must direct all efforts to move them from this indifferent position. When speaking to such an audience, you should not focus their attention on the information and use material that confirms the logical chain of your evidence, it is better to focus on motivation and address the needs of the listeners.
3. If you assume that people disagree with you, then the strategy should depend on whether the attitude is completely hostile or moderately negative:
- If you assume that a person is aggressive towards your goal, it is definitely better to go from afar or set a less global goal. It makes no sense to count on persuasive speech and a complete revolution in attitude and behavior after the first conversation. First, you need to change your attitude a little, “plant a seed”, make you think that your words have some importance. And later, when the idea settles in a person’s head and “takes root,” you can move forward.
- If a person has a position of moderate disagreement, simply give him your reasons, hoping that their weight will force him to take your side. When talking with negative people, try to present the material clearly and objectively, so that those who slightly disagree will want to think about your proposal, and those who completely disagree will at least understand your point of view.
The power of motivation
Motivation, which initiates and guides behavior, often arises as a result of the use of incentives that have a certain value and significance.
The impact of an incentive is greatest when it is part of a meaningful goal and indicates a favorable reward-cost ratio. Imagine asking people to donate a few hours to participate in a charity program.
Most likely, the time you convince them to spend will not be perceived as an incentive reward, but as a cost. How to convince people? you can present this charitable work as a significant incentive that provides rewards.
For example, you can make the public feel the importance of the cause, feel socially responsible, people with a sense of civic duty, feel like noble helpers. Always show that the incentives and rewards outweigh the costs.
Use incentives that match people's basic needs, they work better. According to one popular theory of needs, people express a greater propensity to act when a stimulus offered by the speaker can satisfy an important unmet need of the listeners.
Correct manner and intonation of speech
Persuasiveness of speech and the ability to persuade presupposes the rhythmic and melodic structure of speech. Speech intonation consists of: sound strength, pitch, tempo, pauses and stress.
Disadvantages of intonation:
- Monotony has a depressing effect even on a person who has the ability to listen and does not allow him to perceive even very interesting and useful information.
- Too high a tone is annoying and unpleasant to the ear.
- Too low a tone can cast doubt on what you are saying and convey your disinterest.
Try to use your voice to make your speech beautiful, expressive and emotionally rich. Fill your voice with optimistic notes. In this case, a slightly slower, measured and calm pace of speech is preferable. Between semantic segments and at the end of the sentence, clearly pause. And pronounce the words inside the segment and small sentences as one long word, together.
It’s never too late to start developing your voice and diction, but if you want to convince someone who knows you well, sometimes it’s better to speak in a tone that’s familiar to you, without experimenting. Otherwise, those around you may think that you are not telling the truth if you speak in a tone that is uncharacteristic for you.
Every man will agree that it is much more difficult to argue with a woman, especially if this is your passion. But, nevertheless, sometimes a dispute cannot be avoided. Therefore, when entering into an argument with a woman, it is important to remember a few simple rules that will help not only withstand the onslaught of female logic, but also win the argument. Yes, yes, you heard right - it is possible.
Trick to out-arguing a woman No. 1 - don’t even try to prove you’re right
Forget that you are right and don’t even try to prove that you are right. Most women firmly believe that the one who has the last word is right. Give her pleasure - admit that she is right, but only in order to turn the conversation in the direction you want. When she has calmed down, carefully put forward your arguments using introductory words and phrases: “in our own way,” “in some way,” “let’s think together.” “Of course, you’re right, now let’s think together...” She will be flattered by the recognition that she is right and will respond more favorably to your suggestions.Trick for out-arguing a woman #2 – act understanding
Get rid of such seditious expressions as “I don’t understand what you’re talking about” and its analogues. True, women sometimes manage to express completely unrelated ideas in a single stream of speech, support them with irrelevant arguments and, based on all this nonsense, draw completely illogical conclusions. But never admit that you did not understand a single word of the above, much less the meaning of the message.Firstly, you risk being reproached for not listening to her and not caring about her opinion. Secondly, repeating a message does not guarantee its adequacy. Therefore, try to give a neutral form to the lack of understanding: “Sorry, I didn’t catch your point. I would like to understand better...”
Trick to out-arguing a woman #3 – don’t raise your voice
Do not raise your voice under any circumstances, otherwise you risk running into the question: “Why are you yelling at me?!” two tones higher. If a woman, getting excited, raises her voice at you, try speaking a little more quietly. This way you will avoid the meaningless race “Who will outshout whom,” which, like Cunning, develops into an ordinary squabble.Trick for out-arguing a woman #4 – without insults
Criticism of intellectual abilities, even indirectly, is prohibited. On the contrary, appeal to her intelligence, experience, and wisdom.Trick how to out-argue a woman No. 5 - no abstract examples
The peculiarity of female logic is that any abstract example you give to illustrate the argument, after comprehension, will go over to her side and will serve as proof of the inconsistency of your conclusions. So no abstract examples. Only specific, non-ambiguous examples that, whatever one may say, will not turn against you.Trick to out-arguing a woman #6 – choose the right authorities
Words supported by the opinion of your mother, grandmother, ex-girlfriend are taboo. This may not only raise doubts about your ability to judge on your own, but also lead to unnecessary conclusions that the opinion of your ex-girlfriend is, for some reason, more important to you than the opinion of your current girlfriend. In the heat of discussion, do not forget to support your words with the opinion of absolute authorities for your girl, and not for you.Trick on how to out-argue a woman No. 7 – don’t use her words to your advantage
The insidious trap of female logic is that any statement can be overestimated, refuted and rejected. But at the same time, any attempt to remind her that just a minute ago she herself asserted something on which you intend to build your argument may result in failure. “So what?” will be your answer. Don't even try to play this game, or prepare to fail. Her words are her words. And only she can use them as she pleases.Trick for out-arguing a woman #8 – don’t let her get off topic
Always be alert and do not allow yourself to be distracted from the topic. As soon as the smell of frying begins: the arguments have dried up, and you do not succumb to her provocations, a cunning trick comes into play. You are forced to answer one of the many questions: “Why haven’t you fixed the switch in the closet / nailed the hanger / taken out the trash?” What to do if this uncomfortable question hangs in the air, and you have not yet come to a decision on the first issue?Do not make excuses under any circumstances. Admit that she is right, you still haven’t done it, but you will definitely do it today. Expecting you to prevaricate and make excuses, she will be discouraged by the honesty of your answer. And you will have a chance to return to the previously discussed topic.
Trick to out-arguing a woman #9 – juggle short arguments
A short argument is a strong argument. It is more difficult to break it down into parts and question each part individually. This means it is more difficult to destroy.Trick for out-arguing a woman #10 – approach the argument with humor
Humor is a unique tool that will help smooth out unpleasant moments in a conversation. Don't forget to use it. It's no secret that women love witty men.Logic doesn't help prove you're right.
It is impossible to convince most people based on logical constructions. A typical conversation is like this:
Interlocutor 1: Agree that AAA.
Interlocutor 2: Agree.
Interlocutor 1: Agree that BBB follows from AAA.
Interlocutor 2: Agree.
Interlocutor 1: Agree that BBB.
Interlocutor 2: Agree.
Interlocutor 1: Agree that from BBB and BBB follows YGG.
Interlocutor 2: Agree.
Interlocutor 1: You see, we have proven YGG.
Interlocutor 2: No, you deceived me somewhere.
In many cases, people’s conviction of something is not based on logical chains. But certain beliefs are associated with a whole network of actions already taken and words spoken. Changing a belief means admitting that a considerable number of your previous steps were wrong. People generally don’t like to admit their mistakes, and they especially don’t like to do it publicly. It's easier to question the laws of logic.
It is impossible to argue in a dispute
If you want to convince someone, never argue with him. A dispute involves both sides expressing their positions. This is very bad. If a person has formulated and expressed his position, especially publicly, in front of other people, it will be very difficult to move him.
The public dispute stands apart. It could be a TV debate, or it could be an argument between two guys in the company of a lovely girl. The purpose of such a dispute is not at all to convince the opponent, but to make an impression. Then it is also necessary to choose arguments that are understandable and pleasant not to the opponent, but to the audience.
A person must convince himself, and you must help him
The most effective way of persuasion is to bring a person to the desired conclusion, so that he himself decides, and preferably publicly declares, the position you need. Then he will become the most ardent supporter of the idea, he will defend it and justify it more than you.
How to do it? There are two ways. One is honest, the other is not very, but effective.
The honest way is to ask questions, studying the views and dogmas of the interlocutor and gradually approaching the goal. A person must come to the right conclusion himself. This process can be very long. It is not immediately possible to find the basis on which the conviction will be built. Some ideas that seem obvious to you are simply unacceptable to other people. Often you have to make quite a few attempts, at first unsuccessful. If you see that the chosen tactics do not lead where you planned, stop the conversation, think about your questions at your leisure, and find a new path. By conducting such conversations, you will study your interlocutor well, and gradually you will definitely find the right words. This belief is a typical example of a project that requires thinking, planning, execution with periodic monitoring of the result and adjustment of the plan.
The most important thing is not to put pressure on the person. As soon as you see that the conversation is not working out, stop it, go into the shadows and prepare a new conversation. Under no circumstances should you start an argument. It is very important to keep an eye on this. Having lost control, you can very easily provoke your interlocutor to express an opinion opposite to yours, then the whole matter will fail.
Now about the not very honest method. It also requires studying your opponent. He works well with people who like to argue. First of all, you need to find a person to whom your opponent wants to show off. Next, involve the opponent in a dispute on an abstract topic in the presence of the found person. When the dispute reaches the desired intensity, express an opinion exactly opposite to the one you want to convince your opponent of. He will instinctively take and express the opposite position. After some time has passed, you need to return to the topic several times so that he again voices his supposed point of view to consolidate his conviction. He is yours, now he is the bearer of the desired idea.
Do I need to convince you?
Do we really want to convince a person? Why do we convince?
We want the person to do something. It is not always the case that in order for a person to do something useful to us, he must be convinced. He may have other motives than the belief that this must be done. There will be an article about this soon. If you are interested, Subscribe to the news so you don't miss out. In addition, a person will never do something that is not typical for him, no matter what steps you take. If he spent Saturdays all his life on the couch, then you can take him out into the forest for a walk once or twice, but it is very unlikely to have him go there every week. Set realistic goals.
We want to help a person make decisions correctly or we want to bring positions closer together in order to develop joint decisions. This is where you really need to work with beliefs. But if you really want to help a person, then be prepared to approach the problem with an open mind, consider it from different angles, and discuss it. As a result, perhaps you yourself will be convinced and understand that your interlocutor is right. If you are not ready for this from the very beginning, then you do not want to help the person at all, but are asserting yourself. I already wrote about this above.
Unfortunately, errors are periodically found in articles; they are corrected, articles are supplemented, developed, and new ones are prepared.
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