Supporting any conversation, supplementing the dialogue with facts, decorating the speech with successful phrases and quotes is an entire art that a person learns from early childhood. We learn to listen to our interlocutor, grasp the idea and support him, using the information we receive daily from the media. It is very important to be able to correctly organize your thoughts and express them during a conversation. Public speaking makes us charismatic, knowledgeable and wise. Let's find out how to become an interesting conversationalist and what you need to do for this.
Fighting the inner self
If you have at least one complex inside you, it can make you a tense and insecure person. An interesting interlocutor is, first of all, one who was able to carefully work on himself. If you are a shy, modest, cowardly and unlucky person, then this article is for you. Try a little experiment: take a piece of paper and mentally draw a line down the center. In the first column, write down all your positive qualities and hobbies, in the second - all your fears and complexes. Take a look at the list and be surprised: after all, the first column will indicate at least 5 interests that partly make you happy. Every hobby can grow into something bigger and grander, which will ultimately overcome your complexes.
Proper society
You won't learn how to be an interesting conversationalist if you try to please everyone. Sometimes you don’t notice that you are surrounded by people whose hobbies are completely different from your inner self. This may manifest itself as ignorance on the part of the interlocutor or comments addressed to you that listening to you is uninteresting and boring.
First of all, analyze how much your worldview coincides with the surrounding society. Then just change your social circle. Don't know where to find it? Attend concerts, museums, sporting events, poetry evenings, handicraft or foreign language courses. By translating your interests into reality, developing them, you will begin to notice how your environment is changing, amazing people appear in it who want and will listen to you with rapture.
If your partner is a man
Men love smart people; they like it when their interlocutor can support any conversation. There is no need to limit yourself to the fact that men are the stronger sex who are only interested in sports, fishing and cars. First of all, the male part of the earth is the same representatives of the human race who are interested in cooking, cinema, literature, and animals. To become an interesting conversationalist for the male half of the population, you should not pretend that you enjoy the dialogue, and do not try to extract any intricate facts from yourself. It’s enough to be open, win over your partner and don’t be shy about sharing your hobbies. Remembering this simple advice, you will learn the truth of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a man.
If your partner is a girl
Girls are the fair sex. They are mysterious and romantic, dreamy and fragile. Girls, as a rule, love with their ears, so you must find a certain approach for such an interlocutor. First, listen carefully to each story. If you're bored in the middle of a story, it might not be your partner. Secondly, not all girls love fashion, animals and photography. Many are interested in fishing, hunting, mechanical engineering, and some are much better than men at repairing household appliances. The principle here is simple: to find out how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl, you need to be literate and well-read. You can impress a girl only with facts, knowledge and innovative thinking, and not just with beauty, strength and strong character.
Books for self-development
Many people start small and ask the question: “What books should I read to become an interesting conversationalist?” It is enough to understand that you must constantly develop, and for this you need to read literature, and watch scientific programs, and attend interesting events, and travel, and communicate with different people. In this case, literature will help you understand only the theoretical part of oratory, but no more. After reading the books, you need communication to learn how to hone your craft. We present to your attention the top 10 literary masterpieces that will help you understand human nature and look from the outside at ideal interlocutors:
What does it take to be an interesting conversationalist? Become more open. You won't be able to attract attention if you are closed in your cocoon. Open up to people, learn to trust them, don’t be afraid to talk about your hobbies, desires and dreams. But no one talks about being pushy and trying to win the hearts of everyone around you.
If you don’t know how to become an interesting conversationalist, then you will have to learn to talk about yourself. If you are tense and withdrawn, then a simple exercise will help you: write down stories from your life on a piece of paper, read them carefully. Try putting down on paper thoughts and feelings that you can't say out loud.
Don’t be afraid to express your opinion and defend your personal point of view, don’t be afraid to ask about your interlocutor’s business and give advice if asked. Be confident and proud, never lower your eyes and head. Don't be shy about complimenting and calling your interlocutor by name. By following all these tips, you will learn how to become an interesting conversationalist.
There are no boundaries for perfection. For this reason, people are interested in how to become better. They strive to improve their character, acquire new skills and want to pay attention to spiritual development.
Let me note that this task is feasible for everyone. Step-by-step recommendations will help with this. The main thing is desire and perseverance. Otherwise, you won’t have to count on results.
- Make a list of the traits you want to improve. It is guaranteed that there will be character qualities and external flaws that do not suit you. I advise you to start with little things that burn nerve cells.
- It doesn’t hurt to analyze everything and communicate with people of different generations. Don't be shy about asking for advice. This is the only way to make the only and correct decision.
- Create an action plan aimed at correcting deficiencies. If you identify the problem, you've done half the job. Don't forget about the existence of the other half, because achieving your goal depends on how correctly you act.
- Execute the finished plan step by step. Write the steps on different sheets of paper and use them one at a time. This will relieve psychological stress and allow you to concentrate on the goal.
- Starting with simple things, you will overcome the resistance created by the body. It will appear every time you want to leave your comfort zone. For example, the body will not like it if you replace travel in public transport with walking.
- Be sure to track your results. Keeping a diary will help with this. After each achievement, be sure to praise yourself to strengthen your willpower.
- During experiments, I do not recommend overloading with other activities. Otherwise, you will fail, and the work done will be in vain.
- Never forget about pampering and praise. If you haven't eaten sweets for three days, treat yourself to a hot bath using aromatic oils. Such self-hypnosis will show that you are moving in the right direction.
- Having secured success, switch to a more serious goal. Try not to shock the psyche, otherwise old habits will return.
The process of self-improvement cannot be called easy, but doing nothing is more difficult. Don't wait for life to force you to change. Try to find shortcomings yourself and do everything possible to eliminate them.
Video tips and psychology
How to become better at everything
People who want to be the best at everything are considered naive and narcissistic. This opinion has a right to exist, but it is not entirely correct. If a person wants this, it means he strives to work on himself. And this is the approach of a creative, energetic and strong personality.
- Define your goals. Becoming better at everything is unrealistic and you understand that. Achieve excellence in areas that are important and interesting to you. Select them and write them down.
- It is impossible to correctly define goals without good motivation. Losing weight is needed to improve your figure, and not to buy an elegant dress. A clear presentation of the result of the work will not allow you to stop halfway and will contribute to success.
- For each individual goal, make a plan. To do this, study the area in which you intend to succeed. Determine how to achieve the result and the resources that will be needed.
- Having decided this issue, make a plan. To begin, sketch out a draft and break it down into stages. After this, analyze the plan.
- I don’t recommend planning something that you can’t implement. To learn how Chinese New Year is celebrated, a visit to the country is required. If this is not possible, exclude the item from the plan.
- Do not spray under any circumstances. If you want to improve in several areas, approach the issue wisely. Sometimes combine achieving goals, but in some cases strive for one thing.
- Take small steps towards your goal. This will allow you to act in several directions without strain. You shouldn’t count on quick results, since working on yourself involves spending effort, time and patience.
- Start implementing the plan with priority goals. Be sure to estimate which goal will require the most time to achieve and start there.
- Select areas related to everyday life, health, nutrition and personal life into one category. Do them daily. Make this kind of work a habit.
If something doesn't work out, don't give up. Remember, no one is immune from failure. See them as manifestations of life. Celebrating your successes will help you maintain your enthusiasm, and every praise you receive for your next achievement will ensure that you feel like you are becoming a better person.
Becoming better in appearance
Every person wants to be beautiful and young. People have been searching for the “elixir of youth” for a long time. They spend a lot of time, effort and money to achieve their goals. But, as practice shows, all efforts are unsuccessful.
Plastic surgery can eliminate defects in appearance, but not every person is ready to do this, and the pleasure cannot be called affordable. Therefore, people are interested in improving their appearance through sports and healthy eating at home.
It is impossible to get well-groomed skin and a beautiful figure without a significant investment of time and effort. It is recommended to completely improve your appearance. Small tricks will help with this, which I will devote to the next section of the story.
Now you and I will become better in appearance using available means and with minimal effort. You may have some doubts about this, but I will try to dispel them.
- Did you know that cucumber is a cosmetic product that relieves puffiness? Before applying color to your eyes, place thin slices of cucumber on your closed eyelids. Additionally, prepare a mask from the vegetable.
- Baby powder sprinkled on a brush can effectively combat oily hair. This product absorbs fat.
- You can restore softness to your lips with a soft toothbrush. Apply a balm to it, which will provide a peeling effect.
- I recommend shaving your legs after a bath. This will make the skin of your feet smooth. Hairs, “steamed” in hot water, will become soft and the procedure for removing “unwanted vegetation” will be more pleasant.
- Most people have rough skin on their elbows and knees. A delicate scrub will help smooth it out.
- Do you want to make your teeth whiter? You don't have to go to the dentist. Use a bluish lipstick.
- To tidy up and shape your eyebrows, I recommend using hair gel. But I don’t advise you to overdo it with tweezers, otherwise you will be left without eyebrows.
- Shower with aromatic gel. As a result, the body will remain fragrant longer. If possible, purchase a set consisting of perfume, gel and eau de toilette.
- Avoid using hairspray. Do styling using a hairdryer and comb. Without skills it will be difficult, but over time you will get the hang of it.
- Use hair conditioner several times a week. This cosmetic product will take care of the condition of your hair ends.
Agree, none of the tips involves the use of expensive or abstruse means. All this is present in every person’s home arsenal. Recommendations will make you look younger and more beautiful. The main thing is don't stop. Only constant work on your appearance will ensure results and lasting effects.
How to become better than others
Some people consider themselves charming, beautiful and smart. At the same time, they refuse to notice flaws, and everyone has them. Some individuals are so confident in their own exclusivity and superiority that sometimes titanic efforts are made to bring them back to earth.
I hope your self-esteem is in order and you know your strengths and weaknesses. If you are ready to work on yourself, I will help you.
- First of all, decide who you want to overtake. Achieving a goal requires a guideline. The area can be any: career, leisure, hobbies, hobbies.
- Do you want to become an interesting conversationalist? You will need to acquire an enviable amount of knowledge. Communicate with narrow-minded and empty-headed individuals, which will allow you to stand out from their crowd. But this is not enough.
- I dare to suggest that you are interested in communicating with erudite interlocutors who support the conversation. Do not overdo it in this matter, otherwise your environment will consider you “boring”.
- Strive to be kind and look for good qualities in people. If people notice this, they will be drawn to you. Therefore, throw out negativity less often.
- Always pay attention and be interested in what your friends are doing. If necessary, I recommend helping a friend. Again, act carefully, otherwise attentiveness will turn into intrusiveness.
- Learn to listen and express an opinion. The person you are talking to will understand that you can be relied upon at any time, and will highly appreciate this quality.
- Everyone has complexes and shortcomings. Coping with shortcomings is not easy, but you can say goodbye to complexes. That's why keep a close eye on the shortcomings and try to eliminate them.
- It is no secret that physical qualities are often the cause of deficiencies. It is impossible to cope with them. For example, if you are short, it is impossible to grow. Deal with it.
- Don't hide your individuality. Try to show your imagination and feelings more often. Everyone has intuition. Use it to decide on your style. He may not be to everyone's liking, but a true friend will accept you for who you are.
- You will be better than others by taking initiative. Not everyone is able to be the first to start communicating with a stranger. Don't be afraid of it. So you will make acquaintances, find a girl or a guy.
Listen to the advice and remember that the key to success is a sincere smile. She will help you conquer peaks and do impossible things.
If you frown and throw lightning bolts with your eyes at passers-by, nothing will happen, and those around you will turn away. I think you don’t need this, because life alone is gloomy and uninteresting.
Life requires an all-round pursuit of excellence. It will take a lot of time and effort, but it's worth it. In addition, the activity is very useful, since a person who is engaged in self-improvement moves forward, develops, competes with himself and achieves success.
However, despite the fact that most people know how to speak, unfortunately, not all of us are able to be interesting interlocutors with whom other people would like to spend hours of free time, just to hear the next phrase from our lips. So how do we become great speakers who can manipulate, make people laugh and simply make their audience fall in love with just a few of the right words?
Oddly enough, becoming an eloquent rhetorician is very simple, despite the fact that it will take many years to achieve mastery in this craft. The basis of speech that is interesting to others, first of all, is such a concept as “surprise”. Yes, it is precisely because of the ability to surprise listeners with every next sentence that we become interesting and, in a sense, attractive speakers. For example, would it be interesting to watch magic tricks when you knew perfectly well how each piece of the trick was done and what to expect at the end of the next magic act? Of course not! The same thing applies to the ability to speak - you can consider yourself as cheerful a person as you like, but if you tell the same jokes for days that you read in the book “101 funniest jokes”, no one will smile, but will just go listen to the lecture , for example, by rudimentary reflexes or quantum physics in the life of an ordinary person.
The second most important lesson to learn before you start dreaming of becoming a great rhetorician is that you should never try to talk about something you don't know. It is quite possible that you do not have deep knowledge in any matter, except for one. So try to surprise people with what you know on this issue, and do not seek universal recognition by maintaining communication on topics that you have just heard for the first time in your life. Many people ask what to do at a time when a topic that is known and understandable to you cannot be changed, just as you cannot simply remain silent. The answer, as always, is simple - the skill of self-criticism will help you. Simply put, if you are faced with a situation where you are forced to carry on a conversation about something that you do not know, try to take advantage of your ignorance and instead of answering, ask others questions on the topic at hand, you can even try to use your cunning and ask your interlocutors something something on this topic that they will be forced to think about and try for a long time to find an answer, with which you can add a little spice, but also interest to your communication. If you cannot do this, then you can simply translate the question asked to you, in the form of a joke, to some other person in your group.
And finally, the third most important skill that any speaker who is more or less popular in society possesses is courage and the absence of excessive modesty. You always need to remember that when you say something, you are pronouncing words, phrases and whole sentences in front of people like yourself, who can just get up and start talking in such a way that they will quickly forget about you and you will be forced to sit stand aside and quietly sip tea, while some Vasya Petrov from the factory amuses and makes everyone around him laugh, and also amazes them with facts about some machine. Therefore, it is extremely important to remember that as soon as you open your mouth and utter the first sound, from that moment you turn into the king of the celebration and it depends only on you how long it will take before you are overthrown. How should a king rule? Correct - loud, clear, multifaceted, intelligent, and most importantly - fair. Based on this, we will formulate a formula for ideal rhetoric: good rhetoric = loud and clear speech + cultural, unexpected and interesting proposals to others.
Finally, I would like to note that the main thing is not to be afraid to speak and express your personal opinion, since people who are only able to agree with others have never been loved and will not be loved. Even if your opinion completely contradicts the thoughts of others, express everything as you think, and then you will, at a minimum, be respected for your courage to go against others, and if you “demonstrate” your contradictory opinion with the help of a wonderfully delivered speech, then your interlocutors will not say anything bad at all, but will only thank you for the wonderful minutes during which they listened to this magnificent, eloquent speech.
Many people are interested in how to become an interesting conversationalist, what needs to be done for this, what methods, methods and recommendations there are. After all, being excellent and interesting is very useful when communicating; it allows you to be more confident, find new acquaintances, friends, and at the same time become better and more successful.
In this article you will learn how become interesting interlocutor, what are the secrets of psychologists, tips and recommendations to learn how to communicate with all people and be interesting to everyone. We are all different and each person needs a different approach; this article will help you develop this feeling if you apply all the advice in practice.
Learn to listen
To become an interesting conversationalist, you just need to learn to listen to the person who is communicating with you. We all love to talk about ourselves and our problems, and if you lower your ego and allow your interlocutor to express his thoughts and opinions, he will see that you know how to listen and you will become a better interlocutor for him, even if you personally do not know how to communicate either.
Talk about what people need, not what you need
To become an interesting conversationalist, stop being selfish and thinking only about yourself. Start the conversation by solving someone else's problems and end the conversation by solving your problems. Then you and your interlocutor will remain on excellent terms and solve all your and his problems. Many are only interested in their own problems and, as a result, cannot solve anything.
Be like your interlocutor
To become interesting interlocutor, you need to remember that people like people who are similar to them. Therefore, try to adapt to each interlocutor, while remaining confident in yourself. Copy the voice, tempo, intonation and behavior of your interlocutor and then it will become easier for him to communicate with you and you will find a common language to solve problems.
Communicate with people more often
To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to try, experiment and not be afraid of being rejected. Fear prevents us from communicating with others and, accordingly, our self-confidence decreases. To raise it and become a better communicator, don’t be afraid to communicate with different people, don’t be afraid to intrude and try to help people. Communicate with those who share the same opinions about life with you and are interested in your advice and suggestions.
Use a smile
Support your interlocutor
To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to maintain a conversation and share opinions with the interlocutor. If he is wrong, you don’t have to tell him about it unless he asks you to. Keep the truth to yourself and then you won't offend anyone. But if you need to make a decision and the wrong point of view is imposed on you, you should not hide it. But don't just tell the truth, but turn to facts and evidence. Don't waste time arguing and criticizing.
Each of us thinks about how to make a good impression on our interlocutors, be remembered by them, and arouse interest in further communication. Is it possible to develop such a skill as effective communication? Yes, even at home. Many people ask a question from their interlocutor, and there is a very clear answer to it, expressed in the form of recommendations.
Secondly, imagine that the interlocutor constantly talks about topics in which you understand absolutely nothing, and they, by and large, are not interesting to you. Naturally, such a conversation will not last long, and it is unlikely that you will want to return to this same person. Now we project the situation onto ourselves. How to become an interesting conversationalist? Discuss topics that are familiar and close to the other person, but do not neglect your own desires, otherwise you will simply become bored.
Thirdly, effective communication says that an interesting interlocutor is not distant during discussions, he reacts to what is said (nods his head, gestures), but, most importantly, looks not around, but at the person with whom he is communicating. This is very important, because harmless curiosity (“What is going on to my right?”) can lead to the fact that the interlocutor considers you rude, because you do not show respect and do not listen to the thought.
Next, let's look at another important aspect of how to become an interesting conversationalist. The one who knows what stage the relationship is at and does not cross a certain boundary. There is no need to come too close to unfamiliar people and communicate with them “face to face”; it is necessary to maintain a public distance, as it is called in specialized literature. At the same time, you can communicate with a close person at a social or even intimate distance.
The manner of communication is also important, which depends on both the goals of the conversation and the relationship between people. Let's highlight such styles as friendly communication; creative (when interlocutors have a common goal); flirting (the desire to make a good impression on the audience, and this desire is aimed at gaining false, cheap authority, not supported by long-term relationships); distance and mentoring (emphasizing the difference between partners, be it the position held,
The manner of communication - mentoring - assumes that one interlocutor takes on the role of a mentor (shows the difference in experience) and considers it necessary to teach the other person something, in his opinion, correct and important.
Of course, no one likes it when teachings come into play, so this style should not be used in a close circle, especially with people you don’t know well. It is important to choose a manner that suits the situation, the environment and meets your goals. It is hardly worth arousing false sympathy from an audience that is not inclined, for example, to accept your point of view. Public distance and a friendly but cooler style are appropriate here.
Thus, it is obvious that there is no supernatural answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist. To begin with, be attentive to those who are currently surrounding you, show emotions about the points made and do not try to win over your interlocutor from the first second - get to know him better. Of course, it is very important to communicate more with different people, but if a person does not understand you, then why waste your energy on him.
It is much more pleasant to have conversations with friends or with those who are “on the same wavelength.” You can train on them on various topics, and even if in situations with unfamiliar people everything is much more complicated, you gain experience thanks to which, although not immediately, the fear of saying something wrong will disappear. The most important thing is vocabulary, it needs to be replenished by reading books, otherwise no tricks and techniques will help you become an interesting conversationalist.