The problem of the influence of emotions on conflict is very important and relevant in modern world. Increasing anger, increasing aggression, excitement, and anxiety are integral companions of conflict. People involved in conflict become dependent on their emotions. Today, when working with conflict, you can notice a trend associated with a significant increase in the number of negative consequences of exposure to emotions. Therefore, the question arises about the need to develop recommendations for improving work in the emotional sphere of conflict. This work will examine the emotional side that influences working with conflict, and will outline the main ways and methods of managing emotions when working with conflict. The purpose of the work is to search for the targeted use of methods and methods for managing emotions, taking into account their influence on the procedure for resolving and resolving the conflict.
IN everyday life There is an understanding of emotions as a person’s very diverse impression of something. In psychology, “Emotions (from Latin emovere - to excite, excite) - special class mental processes and states (of humans and animals) associated with instincts, needs, motives and reflecting in the form of direct experience (satisfaction, joy, fear, etc.) the significance of the phenomena and situations affecting the individual for the implementation of his life activities.” From this definitions, we can conclude that emotions are very closely related to a person's personal reaction to a situation. Therefore, an important characteristic of emotions is subjectivity. Emotions represent an attitude not only to current events, but also to memories, probable events. Influencing sensory organs, processes and objects external environment, they evoke in us the whole palette of emotional sensations and feelings. Very often, memories of something unpleasant can cause both pleasure and displeasure. And in many situations there is a feeling of some kind of tension, on the one hand, and resolution or relief, on the other. Speaking about the influence of emotions on human behavior, we can distinguish sthenic and asthenic emotions. Stenic emotions accompanied by a person's desire to active work, increased energy. Asthenic, accordingly, lead to passivity and stiffness of a person.
The world of emotions is very vibrant and multifaceted. There are a huge number of emotions. Repeated attempts have been made to isolate the basic, “fundamental” emotions. In particular, it is customary to distinguish the following emotions: joy, surprise, suffering, anger, disgust, contempt, fear, shame.
Emotional phenomena play a very important role important role in people's lives. There is a widespread theory in psychology according to which, under the influence of negative emotional states, preconditions for the development of diseases can form in a person, but positive emotions may be one of the reasons for a person’s healing. Important function emotions is reflective, expressed in the ability to navigate the surrounding reality, evaluate objects and phenomena. Also, all emotional experiences that arise are a signal for a person about the process of satisfying needs. Emotional phenomena influence a person’s motivation for the activity he performs, the learning process, performing a reinforcing function, help to achieve the satisfaction of a need or solve a person’s goal.
As we can see, emotions play a very important role in human life. Different manifestation feelings and emotions in to a large extent determines a person’s individuality, since it is the significant difference between people that is hidden where and how feelings and emotions are reflected in activity. Therefore, the ability to manage emotions is valuable for a person. But before we understand managing emotions, we need to consider the concepts of “management,” “conflict,” and “management in conflict.”
We come across the concept of “management” very often in our lives. Management meets in economic sphere life, psychology, conflictology and others social sciences. Thus, from the point of view of conflictology, “management is a function of organized systems (biological, technical, social), ensuring the preservation of their structure, maintaining the mode of activity, and implementing its program and goals.” This paper examines the concept of “control” as a purposeful influence on an object to strengthen or change its condition in such a way as to achieve a set goal.
As for the definition of “conflict,” I would like to note the existence of a huge number of concepts. In this study, we will use the understanding of conflict as “Psychological, emotional (fear), and cognitive (misunderstanding) tension that arises as a result of real or imagined (expected) infringement of one’s interests by the other party.”
The conflict has its own dynamics and structure. For this study important stage is the end of the conflict. The end of the conflict can be expressed in three options: elimination, settlement, resolution. Elimination of conflict is possible by eliminating one participant in the conflict over the other; isolation of all participants from each other, since the parties are unable to resolve the conflict. Conflict resolution is a settled relationship between the participants while maintaining contradictions. This means that the conflict is resolved only temporarily, leaving the main contradictions unresolved. Conflict resolution is a settled relationship between the participants while resolving the contradiction itself.
Very important process to deal with conflict is conflict management. "Conflict management - conscious activity", carried out in relation to the conflict at all stages of its origin, development and completion, with the goal of changing (usually improving) the natural dynamics of the conflict."
Conflict management consists of various elements, which are closely related to the emotional states of the participants in the conflict. Thus, we can define the concept of “emotion management.” Emotion management is the process of a person influencing one’s own or others’ emotions, which consists of the ability to identify emotions, cope with them, and expediently change or change their intensity. This definition will be used at work.
In conflict emotional sphere plays one of the most important roles, since it affects not only the behavior of the participants, but also the entire course of the conflict resolution procedure. Now let's look at positive role emotions when dealing with conflict.
First of all, emotions are a signal for understanding the interests of the parties to the conflict. Another positive role of emotions is the fact that they can stimulate all actors involved in dealing with conflict to effective activities. Emotions can transform the entire body of an individual into new level functioning, activating everything mental processes. When working with conflict, this function is important, since it is directly related to the individual’s ability to approach business creatively and think abstractly. Also, emotions influence a more careful determination of the likelihood of success or failure. For example, fear can protect a person from unpleasant consequences. It warns a person about real or imaginary danger, thereby facilitating a better understanding of the situation that has arisen and a more thorough determination of the likelihood of success or failure. When dealing with conflict protective function emotions plays an important role, since it can once again prove to a person about a specific situation that has arisen.
Along with positive influence emotions exist negative impact emotions for working with conflict. Research shows that conflict tends to gradually involve negative emotional experiences. This may result in very strong feelings among the participants in the conflict, which interfere with effective work with it. It also often happens that emotions become more significant than the subject of the conflict. Those conflicts in which irrationality associated with emotions predominates can be designated as emotional conflicts. Dealing with emotional conflicts is hard. Participants in a conflict with irrational behavior act by ignoring calculations and the ratio of possible gains and losses. Their behavior is influenced by states of passion, anger, panic and other emotions. Their consequences usually do not coincide with conscious interests and may even be completely opposite to them.
As we can see, emotions are an integral part of a conflict situation. They envelop in their networks not only the participants in the conflict, but also the conflict specialist himself. Now let’s look at the main influence of emotions on a specialist working with conflict.
Effectively dealing with conflict largely depends on inner feeling control over your emotions, a sense of objectivity, and, of course, the ability to defend the necessary provisions in the process of counseling or mediation, without succumbing to unwanted influence. Undesirable influence is considered, first of all, all emotional states that a specialist may experience and exhibit when working with conflict. One of fundamental principles The specialist’s work with conflict is neutrality and impartiality. Maintaining neutrality without being tempted to sympathize, empathize and personally help the client is one of the most complex tasks. Often inexperienced professionals cannot cope with managing their emotions, which manifests itself in a loss of neutrality. But I would like to note that adherence to the principle of neutrality by a conflict specialist does not mean the complete inclusion of an “unfeeling robot.”
Now let's look at the main influence of emotions on the participants in the conflict. People for whom conflicts are a joy are much less common than those for whom conflict is associated with painful emotional experiences. The conflict itself is perceived emotionally negatively by a person, as it is accompanied by negative emotions. If you conduct a study asking you to describe the color of a conflict, most respondents will choose dark colors, such as blue, black, dark green. Indeed, conflict is perceived negatively by people. Therefore, a specialist working with conflict will never utter the word “conflict”, but when addressing the parties, he will use the words “situation” or “problem”.
Negative experiences that fill a conflict can have both positive and bad influence, influencing the behavior of the parties to the conflict, their attitude to the problem and the perception of information. The most common defense in humans against unwanted emotions is their suppression. But this option of working with emotions only brings Negative consequences. For effective results, it is important to learn how to manage emotions.
IN Lately researchers are paying attention great attention emotional component in the personality structure of specialists working with conflict. The professionalism of the specialist responsible for the conflict resolution procedure is determined by competence. An important part Conflictological competence is emotional competence associated with a person’s ability to manage his emotions. You can learn to develop emotional competence and conflict tolerance.
Experts highlight the following techniques:
- “Techniques of self-regulation and stress management;
- Observation of other people and self-observation;
- Increasing awareness of living in the present;
- Ability to choose the most appropriate type of response in an emotionally charged situation
- The desire to recognize and overcome manifestations of unconscious psychological defense;
- To significantly increase conflict resistance, you need to have the ability not only to identify your emotions, but also to find the source of emotions and then choose the most suitable type reactions in an emotionally charged situation. Emotional competence is a complex quality of a specialist that requires practice individual work above oneself.
Necessary part professional development The specialist is supervision. “Supervision (from supervidere - to review from above) is one of the methods of theoretical and practical training of specialists in the field of psychotherapy, clinical psychology etc. in the form of their professional consulting and analysis of the feasibility and quality of the used practical approaches and methods of psychotherapy." The main task of the supervisor is to develop professional competence specialist A supervisor is a specialist who has extensive experience in a particular matter, helps the conflict specialist in the ability to realize own reactions on the client, understand the dynamics of the relationship with him and find alternative methods working with similar problems. Well, the main job of the supervisor is to help a colleague survive and separate the client’s feelings, understand the reason for their occurrence and determine the principles in this regard further work with the client. Supervision helps a specialist cope with all the difficulties that he may encounter during his work. The supervisor is an experienced “teacher” for the specialist, helping him to see his mistakes, work on them, and develop in his professional activity and enjoy your work. Another basic ability of a conflict specialist is frustration tolerance. “Frustration tolerance is the ability to resist various kinds life's difficulties without loss of psychological adaptation, which is based on the ability to adequately assess the real situation, as well as the ability to foresee another way out of the situation.”
There are the following levels of frustration tolerance:
- Calmness, prudence, readiness to perceive difficult situation as a life lesson;
- Tension, an effort to restrain an impulsive reaction of irritation or rejection;
- Flaunting the lack of reaction as a disguise for anger or despondency;
- Joy over a frustrating situation, using it as a secondary benefit.”
The most favorable level is the first, since it is this that promotes adequate perception situations and relationship building.
It is useful for a conflict specialist not only to monitor such manifestations in himself, but also to notice them in the parties to the conflict, without being afraid of signs of trouble, but by adjusting his behavior in response.”
Now let's look at the basic methods of managing the emotions of the parties to the conflict. Methods of managing emotions in conflict are a set of basic techniques and methods aimed at expediently changing emotions or changing their intensity. The main ways to manage emotions in a conflict include reflection of emotions, verbalization techniques and providing support to the client. Let's consider and analyze these methods in detail.
- The very first way to manage emotions is to reflect emotions.
Methods of reflecting emotions can be divided into methods that do not contribute to mutual understanding between a conflict specialist and a client and, accordingly, methods that contribute to such mutual understanding.
The first group of methods includes statements that contain a contradiction between the feelings, thoughts and words of a specialist. Ways to promote mutual understanding with the client include:
- messages about the perception of the client’s feelings, emotions and state, with the help of which the conflict specialist can let the client know how he perceives him in this moment;
- message about own condition and feelings, when the specialist himself tells the client what emotions he experiences in a situation of interaction with the client.
These methods are effective in working with emotions, as they promote independent analysis emotional states of the conflict participants. Therefore, at some point, the intensity of the emotional states of the parties to the conflict may change for the better for the specialist.
- The second way to manage emotions covers verbalization techniques for working with emotions.
This includes techniques that help the interlocutor not only realize, but also express his emotions, remove unnecessary emotional stress. Well, the most important technique- “The art of asking questions.” Questions play an important role in managing emotions. With the help of questions you can not only collect important information specialist, but also to let the conflict participants understand what is happening to them. The use and observance of pauses is very important, since short breaks can help the client think and calm down.
- The third way to manage emotions is to provide support to the client.
Exist certain ways customer support. The main methods include: empathic listening, recognition of the normality and legitimacy of the client’s feelings, talking about his feelings about the client’s situation, giving an example of himself in a similar situation. With certain knowledge and skills, a specialist can recognize the client’s feelings and emotions. For example, a conflict specialist must remember to pay attention to the postures and gestures of the participants in the conflict, and to their facial expressions. But if the consultant demonstrates empathic behavior, then the client’s feelings are expressed more sincerely and freely. The counselor's empathetic behavior implies that he not only understands and accepts the client's feelings, but also makes it clear to the client himself.
Researchers identify the following techniques for empathic behavior in working with feelings:
- “Active anticipation of the manifestation of feelings;
- Empathy and expression of understanding of feelings;
- Tactful selection of words and formulations;
- Acceptance and recognition of the client's feelings." All these techniques help to change the feelings and emotions of the parties to the conflict, providing a calm atmosphere for efficient work. But in order for the feelings and emotional states of the conflict participants to be managed more quickly and effectively, the specialist must apply types of work based on various stages manifestations of feelings and emotions of conflict participants.
In conclusion, I would like to say that effective result in the procedure for settling and resolving a conflict is possible with the specialist’s ability to work with his own experiences and the emotions of the people with whom he comes into contact.
Bibliography:
- Antsupov A. Ya, Shipilov A. I. Dictionary of conflict specialist. Ed. 3rd, corrected, supplemented M.: Eksmo, 2010. – 656 pp.
- Allahverdova O.V. Karpenko A.D. Mediation-negotiations in conflict situations: Tutorial. St. Petersburg, 2010. – 178 p.
- Large psychological dictionary./Ed. Meshcheryakova B.G., Zinchenko V.P., - M.: Olam-press, 2004. – 713 pp.
- Goleman D., Boyatzis R., McKee E. Emotional leadership: The art of managing people based on emotional intelligence. – M.: Alpina Publisher, 2010. – 301 p.
- Grishina N.V. Psychology of conflict. St. Petersburg: Peter, 2008. – 480 pp.
- Dmitriev A.V. Conflictology: Textbook. M., Gardariki, 2000. – 320 pp.
- Zdravomyslov A.G. Sociology of conflict: A textbook for students. M.: Aspect-Press, 1996. – 317 p.
- Ivanova E.N. Communication tools of a conflict specialist. Monograph St. Petersburg, 2008. – 210s.
- Ivanova E.N. Conflict counseling. Novosibirsk, 2012. – 187 p.
- Ilyin, E. P. Emotions and feelings / E. P. Ilyin. – 2nd ed., revised. and additional – St. Petersburg: Peter, 2011. – 782 pp.
- Kulakov. S.A. “Supervision in psychotherapy. A training manual for supervisors and psychotherapists" - St. Petersburg, 2004.
- Maklakov A.G. General psychology: Textbook for universities. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2003. – 592 pp.
- Hasan B.I. Constructive psychology of conflict. St. Petersburg: Peter, 2003. – 250 s.
- Schwartz G. Managing conflict situations. 2007. – 296 pp.
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Conflict management technology should be considered from two sides. Firstly, those in conflict control their behavior throughout the conflict situation. This side of conflict interaction is purely psychological. Emotional excitement prevents rivals from understanding each other; it does not allow them to clearly and intelligibly express their thoughts. Sometimes they don't listen to each other. Therefore, managing emotions in conflict interaction is one of the necessary conditions getting on the path to conflict resolution. Secondly, conflict management is carried out externally and is of an organizational nature. The subject of such management is a third party to the conflict: the immediate manager of the conflicting parties or an intermediary - a specialist in the personnel management service, a colleague, relatives, etc. (see details 9.3).
Under control technologies own behavior in conflict warring parties should be understood as a set of methods of psychological restraint aimed at ensuring constructive interaction subjects of conflict, based on self-control of emotions and compliance with the norms of organizational culture and ethics of business relations.
Self-control over emotions in conflict contact can be achieved, for example, using technologies for getting rid of anger proposed by J. Scott*. The author gives four ways to get rid of anger.
First way- visualization comes down to imagining yourself doing or saying something in a state of anger. This allows you to see yourself from the outside and, as a rule, stimulates restraint in your own behavior.
Second way- getting rid of anger through grounding. Imagine anger entering you like a bundle negative energy. Then imagine how this energy descends through your body and calmly goes into the earth.
Third way getting rid of anger - projecting anger and destroying its projection. You seem to radiate your anger, projecting it onto an imaginary screen, and using an imaginary cannon you shoot at it. This gives vent to the desire to commit violent acts, since with each attack your anger gradually disappears.
Fourth method- cleansing energy field or auras around you. While standing or sitting, make several movements with your arms above your head, as if clearing the energy shell around it with these movements. At the same time, you need to make yourself feel that you are taking out irritation and all negative emotions and shaking them off with the appropriate movement of your hands.
Mastery of these technologies for controlling one's behavior is achieved through special training.
CM. Emelyanov formulated three rules for self-control of emotions that are accessible to everyone and do not require special training.
A calm reaction to a partner’s emotional actions is the first rule of self-control of emotions. When your partner is in a state of emotional arousal, maintain emotional restraint and do not enter such a state yourself. After refraining from an emotional initial reaction, ask yourself questions: “Why is he behaving this way?”, “What are his motives in this conflict?”, “Is his behavior related to individual psychological characteristics or for some other reason? and so on. By answering these questions, you force your consciousness to work actively and thereby additionally protect yourself from an emotional explosion; give the enemy the opportunity to “let off steam”; distracted from unnecessary, and sometimes harmful information, which an opponent can throw out in an excited state; looking for the cause of the conflict, trying to understand the motives of your opponent’s behavior.
Rationalization of emotions, exchange of the content of emotional experiences in the process of calm communication is the second rule of self-control of emotions. Following this rule has a significant effect. In the process of exchange, rivals not only receive a release, but also realize the meaning of what is happening, ensuring a further positive resolution of the conflict.
Maintenance high self-esteem in the negotiation process, the third rule of self-control of emotions is the basis for constructive behavior. In order to exclude emotional reactions the opponent should be supported high level self-esteem in yourself and your opponent. Aggressive emotional reactions of opposing parties are often the result of low self-esteem.
Special literature identifies four types of behavior of individuals in the process of conflict confrontation: avoiding, yielding, denying, advancing. Let us reveal the essence of each of these types of rivals.
Avoidant type refuses to discuss the subject of the conflict or seeks to change the subject of discussion. The reasons for this behavior: guilt, lack of understanding of the essence of the problem, etc.
Inferior type agrees to any offer, even unfavorable for himself. The reasons for this behavior: the desire to get rid of the discomfort caused by the conflict, underestimation of the subject of the conflict, etc.
The denying type believes that the problem is irrelevant and that the conflict will resolve itself. The reason for this behavior: lack of understanding of the essence of the problem, avoidance of discomfort associated with the conflict, etc.
The attacking type strives for success at any cost, making decisions in its favor, denies the opponent’s arguments and arguments, and acts assertively and aggressively. The reason for this behavior: an ambitious desire to win, an overestimation of the subject of the conflict, etc.
Successful conflict resolution depends not only on the degree of skill effective communication and managing emotions in the conflict process, but also from mastery of manipulative technologies.
Manipulation is a form psychological impact, the skillful execution of which leads to hidden arousal in another person of intentions that do not coincide with his existing desires At the moment*. Manipulative influence on an opponent is an unfair form of pressure to achieve one's goals. Unlike open pressure, manipulation appears in a hidden form.
The following manipulation techniques are encountered: reference to the opinion of an authority, pulling out individual phrases or omission of words or sentences from the context, which changes the content of a true statement; avoidance of the essence of the subject of the conflict, substitution of true problems; compliments, hints, flattery; turning a serious problem into jokes, turning a conversation into a comedy; intimidation with sad consequences, etc.
It's pretty simple techniques. But there are also more complex ones, for example: imitation of solving a problem, when the opponent pretends that he is very interested in resolving the conflict; alternative formulations of questions requiring a “yes” or “no” answer, when the opponent seeks to emasculate important shades and details from the subject of the conflict by posing straightforward questions and answers to them; so-called Socratic questions are asked when several simple questions, to which the opponent easily answers “yes”, and then the main question is asked, to which the opponent, as if by inertia, also answers “yes”; delaying the solution of a problem in order to gain time to solve it in one’s favor.
A number of well-known authors propose a system of ways to counter manipulation in conflict situations. For example, SM. Emelyanov* and other authors suggest that if one side uses manipulative techniques supposedly based on the rules of decency and principles of justice, use the following methods of counteraction by the other side of the confrontation: do not take on obligations; if your opponent has the goal of getting more information from you, then ask clarifying questions about what exactly the other side is interested in, so as not to reveal your cards; in the event of difficulties arising in the process of confrontation created by an opponent, say that there are many difficulties in solving the problem, that new circumstances have opened up that need to be taken into account; Having realized that you may become a victim of manipulation, say that you need to think and, in the time gained, analyze to the smallest detail all the words and actions of your opponent, consult with a third party - an intermediary.
If the enemy uses manipulations aimed at humiliating the other side, it is proposed to use the following effective ways counteraction:
Express indignation that your opponent stoops to such unworthy methods;
Be skeptical of your opponent and do not lose confidence in your abilities;
It is polite to say that your opponent did not quite understand you correctly;
Do not answer questions, unobtrusively notice that the opponent is not formulating the problem quite correctly;
Be indifferent to both friendliness and indignation on the part of your opponent, etc.
Are your emotions overwhelming? Stop! Learn to control yourself - you need to manage your emotions in a conflict and take control of the conflict.
Perhaps each of us knows what a serious quarrel is. After it, you plunge into the abyss of irritation and anger, your thoughts wander around the phrases spoken in the heat of the moment. “Oh, how I wish I could seal him now!” - you think with regret, you just want to go back and utter a better expression that will sting your opponent. And the next day you remember the conflict, noticing with surprise that the irritation has not cooled down at all, rather the opposite.
There is a reason for this...
According to statistics, there are more conflicts in our lives than negotiations and discussions. Cause? Differences in views, desires, hopes. All the plots of world literature are based on rivalry and confrontation. There are several basic causes of conflict. This:
- lack of communication, lack of information;
- differences in interests;
- confrontation between groups;
- lack of empathy for the needs of others;
- difficult character.
No irritation
To create a conflict situation, there are enough contradictions. And for it to turn into a conflict, an incident is necessary. This could be an accidentally dropped phrase, a misinterpreted glance. Then the conflict formula looks like this:
K (conflict) = KS (conflict situation) + I (incident).It is necessary to manage emotions in conflict and if you learn to approach conflict as arithmetic problem problem that needs to be resolved, the key to resolving it will be in your hands. Of course, you need to work hard to avoid self-indulgence and self-pity.
The first stage of curbing conflict is suppressing irritation. To prevent emotions from overwhelming you, you need to give them a way out, otherwise they will destroy all the obstacles in their path, like water a dam. When the main streams of grievances spill out, you need to close the floodgate so that anger does not flood everything. Negative emotions are constant companions of any quarrel, and by heating up your feelings, you contribute to the fact that the degree of conflict increases.
Anger, feelings of hostility and resentment become destructive factors in communication. However, on the other hand, these same emotions can be the basis for better, positive changes, if in this case we wisely use their energy. After a thunderstorm there is always fresh air. Rational self-control and self-management will help turn emotions into a positive direction. Ask yourself questions: “Why do I feel this? What caused this reaction? What do I want to change? Why did this touch my sensitive cords? Use the answers to these questions to make changes in your life.
Suppress your anger!
IN ideally emotions must do their job and, of course, leave you. You should know that a hidden grudge is always unconstructive and dangerous, like a sleeping volcano: at the most inopportune moment, an eruption can begin and fill everything with boiling lava.
If you decide to express your feelings towards a situation and make an effort to manage your emotions, the effect will be greater if you follow some simple rules.
- Avoid the desire and desire to punish the other party or blame them for something. You are responsible for your feelings. If you intend to take any action, then check whether there are any elements of vindictiveness in your feelings. People's actions are their actions, and our feelings about them are only our feelings.
- The turbulent emotions that arise indicate the need for change. Consider whether your actions will improve the situation.
- It’s worth setting yourself up for an appropriate expression of feelings. If something hurts you or makes you very angry, you have every right to say so.
- Try to avoid repeating an unpleasant situation. If you manage your emotions correctly, you will be able to avoid relapse.
- Your irritation can fuel the other person's emotions and lead to a scandal or breakup. Tell yourself, “I need to suppress my anger.” At the same time, let your opponent know that you are trying to stop the boiling of passions. “I see us getting even more irritated. Let this be a thing of the past. What can we do to avoid this from happening in the future?” - you can say approximately the following phrases. This is especially important if you want to maintain your relationship with this person.
Wave your hand?
Of course, it is one thing to think speculatively about managing emotions in conflict, and quite another to remember these tips at the very moment when you are seething with anger and ready to incinerate your opponent with one glance.
To have the strength to constructive permission conflict, mentally build an invisible barrier between yourself and your opponent, through which not a single sound can reach you. Or imagine yourself inside a huge transparent sphere, over the surface of which sounds spread like drops of water. This sphere reliably protects you from the anger of your enemy.
When you notice that the flow of accusations is drying up, begin working to get out of the conflict situation. If you don’t know what to do and calm down your emotions in a conflict, and you feel the meaninglessness of what’s happening, just give up on everything! Otherwise, the conflict will become an obsession that feeds on itself.
Conflict management technology should be considered from two sides. Firstly, those in conflict control their behavior throughout the conflict situation. This side of conflict interaction is purely psychological. Emotional excitement prevents rivals from understanding each other; it does not allow them to clearly and intelligibly express their thoughts. Sometimes they don't listen to each other. Therefore, managing emotions in conflict interaction is one of the necessary conditions for taking the path of conflict resolution. Secondly, conflict management is carried out externally and is of an organizational nature. The subject of such management is a third party to the conflict: the immediate manager of the conflicting parties or an intermediary - a specialist in the personnel management service, a colleague, relatives, etc. (see details 9.3).
Under technologies for managing one’s own behavior in a conflict between warring parties one should understand a set of methods of psychological deterrence aimed at ensuring constructive interaction between the subjects of the conflict, based on self-control of emotions and compliance with the norms of organizational culture and ethics of business relations.
Self-control over emotions in conflict contact can be exercised, for example, using technologies for getting rid of anger offered by J. Scott. The author gives four ways to get rid of anger.
First way - visualization boils down to imagining oneself doing or saying something in a state of anger. This allows you to see yourself from the outside and, as a rule, stimulates restraint in your own behavior.
Second way - getting rid of anger with grounding. Imagine the anger entering you as a beam of negative energy. Then imagine how this energy descends through your body and calmly goes into the earth.
Third way getting rid of anger - projection anger and the destruction of its projection. You seem to radiate your anger, projecting it onto an imaginary screen, and using an imaginary cannon you shoot at it. This gives vent to the desire to commit violent acts, since with each attack your anger gradually disappears.
The fourth method is cleansing the energy field or auras around you. While standing or sitting, make several movements with your arms above your head, as if clearing the energy shell around it with these movements. At the same time, you need to make yourself feel that you are taking out irritation and all negative emotions and shaking them off with the appropriate movement of your hands.
Mastery of these technologies for controlling one's behavior is achieved through special training.
CM. Emelyanov formulated three rules for self-control of emotions that are accessible to everyone and do not require special training*.
A calm reaction to the emotional actions of a partner is the first rule of self-control of emotions. When your partner is in a state of emotional arousal, maintain emotional restraint and do not enter such a state yourself. Having refrained from an emotional initial reaction, ask yourself questions: “Why is he behaving this way?”, “What are his motives in this conflict?”, “Is his behavior related to individual psychological characteristics or to some other reason?” and so on. By answering these questions, you force your consciousness to work actively and thereby additionally protect yourself from an emotional explosion; give the enemy the opportunity to “let off steam”; distract yourself from unnecessary and sometimes harmful information that your opponent may throw out in an excited state; looking for the cause of the conflict, trying to understand the motives of your opponent’s behavior.
Rationalization of emotions, exchange of the content of emotional experiences in the process of calm communication is the second rule of self-control of emotions. Following this rule has a significant effect. In the process of exchange, rivals not only receive a release, but also realize the meaning of what is happening, ensuring a further positive resolution of the conflict.
Maintaining high self-esteem in the negotiation process as the basis for constructive behavior is the third rule of self-control of emotions. To eliminate emotional reactions from your opponent, you should maintain a high level of self-esteem in yourself and your opponent. Aggressive emotional reactions of opposing parties are often the result of low self-esteem.
Special literature identifies four types of behavior of individuals in the process of conflict confrontation: avoiding, yielding, denying, advancing. Let us reveal the essence of each of these types of rivals.
Avoidant type refuses to discuss the subject of the conflict or seeks to change the subject of discussion. The reasons for this behavior: guilt, lack of understanding of the essence of the problem, etc.
Inferior type agrees to any offer, even unfavorable for himself. The reasons for this behavior: the desire to get rid of the discomfort caused by the conflict, underestimation of the subject of the conflict, etc.
Denying the type believes that the problem is irrelevant, that the conflict will resolve itself. The reason for this behavior: lack of understanding of the essence of the problem, avoidance of discomfort associated with the conflict, etc.
Coming The type strives for success at any cost, makes decisions in its favor, denies the arguments and arguments of the opponent, acts assertively and aggressively. The reason for this behavior: an ambitious desire to win, an overestimation of the subject of the conflict, etc.
Successful resolution of conflict depends not only on the degree of ability to effectively communicate and manage emotions in the conflict process, but also on mastery of manipulative technologies.
Manipulation- this is a type of psychological influence, the skillful execution of which leads to hidden arousal in another person of intentions that do not coincide with his existing desires at the moment *. Manipulative influence on an opponent is an unfair form of pressure to achieve one's goals. Unlike open pressure, manipulation appears in a hidden form.
The following manipulation techniques are encountered: reference to the opinion of an authority, pulling out individual phrases or omitting words or sentences from the context, which changes the content of a true statement; avoiding the essence of the subject of the conflict, substituting the truth
Dotsenko E.L. Psychology of manipulation: Phenomena and defense mechanisms. M., 1997. P. 59.
new problems; compliments, hints, flattery; turning a serious problem into jokes, turning a conversation into a comedy; intimidation with sad consequences, etc.
These are pretty simple techniques. But there are also more complex ones, for example: imitation of solving a problem, when the opponent pretends that he is very interested in resolving the conflict; alternative formulations of questions requiring a “yes” or “no” answer, when the opponent seeks to emasculate important shades and details from the subject of the conflict by asking straightforward questions and answering them; so-called Socratic questions are asked, when several simple questions are prepared, to which the opponent easily answers “yes”, and then the main question is asked, to which the opponent, as if by inertia, also answers “yes”; delaying the solution of a problem in order to gain time to solve it in one’s favor.
A number of well-known authors propose a system of ways to counter manipulation in conflict situations. For example, S.M. Emelyanov* and other authors suggest that if one side uses manipulative techniques supposedly based on the rules of decency and principles of justice, use the following methods of counteraction by the other side of the confrontation: do not take on obligations; if your opponent has the goal of getting more information from you, then ask clarifying questions about what exactly the other side is interested in, so as not to reveal your cards; in the event of difficulties arising in the process of confrontation created by an opponent, say that there are many difficulties in solving the problem, that new circumstances have opened up that need to be taken into account; Having realized that you may become a victim of manipulation, say that you need to think and, in the time gained, analyze to the smallest detail all the words and actions of your opponent, consult with a third party - an intermediary.
If the enemy uses manipulations aimed at humiliating the other side, it is proposed to use the following effective methods of counteraction:
- express indignation that the opponent stoops to such unworthy methods;
- be skeptical about your opponent, do not lose confidence in your abilities;
- politely say that your opponent did not understand you correctly;
- do not answer questions, unobtrusively notice that the opponent is not formulating the problem quite correctly;
- be indifferent to both friendliness and indignation on the part of the opponent, etc.
- Scott J. Conflicts: ways to overcome them. Kyiv, 1991. pp. 37-47.
Anxiety - mental condition anxiety experienced by a person without a clear awareness of its source. This emotional state is characterized by tension and anticipation of unfavorable developments. It includes a complex of emotions: fear, grief, shame, guilt, interest, excitement.
Anxiety is an individual’s tendency to experience anxiety: it can become a stable personality trait - to perceive threats to one’s “I” in different situations and respond to them with increased anxiety. In a conflict situation, the anxiety of such a person causes certain reactions: all sorts of attempts to escape from a dangerous situation - both in the form of verbal or physical aggression, and in the form of stupor, numbness, and inability to analyze.
An anxious person perceives the world as potentially dangerous and strives for calm at any cost, avoiding conflicts and not defending their interests. Anxiety can cause increased personality conflict. Increased level anxiety leads to defense mechanisms that help relieve anxiety.
Emotional rigidity - expressed in inhibition, rigidity of emotional responses to a changing object. Thoughts, actions, emotions of the current conflict arise not only under the influence of what is happening at the moment, but also under the influence of deep subconscious processes. If we limit the expression of our emotions, such as fear, anger, then we reduce our ability to adequately perceive reality.
Emotions are controlled for the most part unconsciously. People with increased control over negative emotions and people with decreased or normal control will differently express them (emotions) in a conflict situation.
Feelings of anger and fear can easily create a conflict situation. They can arise in any conflict and subsequently serve for it nutrient medium. To clear the way to solving a problem, you need to let others free themselves from irritation, other negative emotions and remember to conquer your own anger.
The decisive step to get out of any conflict and restore good relationships is to free both parties to the conflict from irritation. Sometimes you force yourself to get irritated just to listen to your opponent's tirade. But ultimately, you must acknowledge your anger and deal with it more effectively. The trick is to learn to let go of irritation through self-control.
Exploding or attacking your opponent in order to release your anger is a false path. This can be seen in the example of a long-term relationship during which you developed a feeling of irritation. You may want to let off some steam. This is, for example, with friends who communicate together for a long time. For example, they are in contention, and one or both of them are becoming increasingly irritated about something they did wrong in the past. This type of release will do nothing to resolve the immediate conflict or relieve irritation. All this can end in a quarrel and shouting. You may find yourself in similar situation and must understand that you can solve the problem only by calming down. You may also notice that ignoring or denying your irritation will leave you feeling empty.
Fortunately, it is possible to let go of anger and frustration at the same time. Usually this internal process. Act in this way when the other person is getting rid of negative emotions that have arisen in him - even when he is simply yelling at you. After this, ideally, you will both be ready to put the anger behind you (which you have dissipated and the other person has vented), calm down and sort out the conflict situation.
Negative emotions are a superficial cause of conflict. In different people, basic instincts are manifested in varying degrees and therefore the basic motivation differs among people. This is why misunderstandings often arise. When one person considers one thing preferable, and another - another, then the result is that each of them is logical, but they do not understand each other. If you analyze the basic motivations of everyone, you can understand the reason for the differences in opinions and eliminate the conflict of interests by finding a combination in which everyone gets what they want.
There is no underlying conflict of interest, but they have been preserved from ancient times, when they regulated relations in the human pack. Now you can build relationships more subtly and effectively - with the help of reason.
Conflict is always accompanied by the experience of emotions that negatively affect our state. But a call to conflict participants to put their emotions in order is often perceived by them as a call to defeat. But it is necessary to control emotions for the following reasons:
Stress, which is invariably present in a conflict situation, is accompanied by strong emotional experiences and leads to a decrease in control over conscious behavior. Control of the conflict situation is exercised by the opponent who can cope with his emotions. This will allow him to choose the best behavior strategy.
As the conflict escalates, the emotional involvement of the participants increases, which in itself leads to an increase in conflict; this provokes counter aggressive reactions. A balanced state will prevent hostility from building up.
Long and regular stay in some emotional states has a detrimental effect on the body and leads to somatic disorders. Diseases of this kind are called psychosomatic, and the emotions that cause them are called destructive experiences.
perception of an event, symbolization of its mental image in consciousness;
emotional assessment of the event;
internal, emotional experience;
external emotionally charged behavioral reaction;
emotional trace after leaving the situation.
aimed at changing the process of perceiving an event; aimed at change emotional assessment events;
aimed at changing the process of internal, emotional experience;
aimed at changing the external, observable reaction;
aimed at changing the emotional trace left after the cessation of conflict interaction.
Passive