Is there any point in worrying? Types of Emotional Experiences

Constant worries and doubts can haunt you every day, increasing your stress levels. Such emotions and high levels of stress prevent us from doing or enjoying what we like. Reorient your consciousness a little - and you will become equanimous and will not allow troubles to bother you. You are made of strong stuff and no one can lead you astray. “And God be with him” is not your motto, it is about you!

Steps

Part 1

Creating a mood

1. Look for the comical side in everything. The benefit of equanimity is not to be happy, but to not get upset, angry or stressed out of the blue. And how can this be achieved? Well, a good start is if everything looks funny to you. Just like there is some good in all bad things, you can also find a funny side in most situations.

   • Although the example is simple, let's imagine that you tripped and fell on stage at an awards ceremony. Instead of burning with shame, it is better to pretend that it was intended and accept your reward from the floor, or raise your hands in a silent “ta-dam” gesture and turn all the attention to yourself. Let people scream and hoot.

2. Pretend you don't have the shame gene. We all have a voice in our heads that tells us to look cool and act socially acceptable. Overall, this voice is pretty smart - it helps us make friends, connections, and makes life a little easier. But sometimes it prevents us from getting off the beaten path, does not allow us to grow, and simply makes us anxious, emotionally excitable and fearful people. Instead, pretend for a moment that you don't have it. How would you behave? What would your body say to the world? This is equanimity.

   • We do so much to avoid shame and feel accepted. If you didn't have that desire, what would you do differently? Would you really care about Katya liking your shoes, or about Masha responding to your message? Probably not. Start by focusing on a calm attitude for a few minutes a day until it naturally happens most of the time.

3. Worry less about what you can't change. At some stage the world will end. Are you worried about this? Probably not. Sometimes your mom wears terrible sweaters. Does this concern you? Hardly. If you can't change it, there's no point in worrying. What can you do? Worry about it...and then worry a little more? Yeah. There's no point.

   • So when does your teacher announce an unscheduled test? No reaction from you. There's no point in worrying about it. The only thing you should care about is handling it well. And when your crush doesn't respond to your message? Move on - you would have felt it anyway.

4. Don't take yourself (or anything) too seriously. Your whole life becomes incomparably easier when you come to the conclusion that there is nothing so important in it. We are all just well-functioning grains of sand on this amazing blue planet, and if something doesn’t go our way, well, that’s how the world works. Both bad and good things will happen. Why bother so much about this?

   • You've probably met someone who takes themselves much more seriously than they should. They are nervous and constantly worried about what other people think about their actions, words, or appearance. In fact, no one thinks much about them. Even looking at them is exhausting because they are so stressed out. Become the opposite of such a person and equanimity will come.

5. Do yoga. Besides the fact that yoga is a good way to burn calories and keep your muscles toned, it is also fantastic for getting rid of the mental gibberish that many of us have. According to many studies, “yogis” suffer less from stress, anxiety and even boast lower blood pressure levels. If you have trouble changing the way you think, yoga can do it for you.

   • Another good idea is deep breathing exercises. Concentrating on your body and breathing takes you out of your consciousness and into the here and now. You focus on more tangible realities, like the chair you're sitting in touching your skin or the temperature of the room—rather than on what you were recently worried about.

   Part 2

   Deadpan behavior

   1. Be the grown up version of yourself. When we worry and worry, we also focus on ourselves and become selfish. Suddenly everything starts to spin around me, me, me and whatever you need, you must get it and Now– in other words, we become children. Recognize that part of yourself (we all have it), and instead choose the adult in you (everyone has it, too). How would the older, mature part of you react?

      • Let's say you just sent a message to your boyfriend or girlfriend. There has been no response yet. The clock is ticking, the minutes are passing, and you still didn't answer. The child in you wants to respond: “What are you doing? Why aren’t you answering?! Is something wrong? Is this possible?!” No. You won't do this. Instead, you will take the book. If they don’t write back to you, nothing. All the same, you no longer remember what you wrote to them.

   2. Don't show a wide range of emotions. The very definition of equanimity is to be calm and relaxed, one might say, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You may show little interest or happiness - or even a little disappointment or dissatisfaction - but underneath it all, you are still calm as a boa constrictor. It's not about being indifferent and unemotional, it's about being cool.

      • For example, your crush tells you to get off. Crap. This sucks. You want to cry and howl, revel in your feelings, but the calm part of you knows better. And you won't just say, "okay," and move on as if nothing happened, because it did. When talking about this with your friends, you'll say something like, "Dude, this sucks. I wish it didn't turn out this way, but I'm really glad I didn't ask her out!"

   3. Don't invest in the opinions of others. You know what an opinion is, right? Everyone has it. Trying to please everyone and be liked by everyone is a waste of effort because it simply won’t happen. It doesn't matter what others think of you; life goes on no matter what. Moreover, will you remember what Katya said about your hair in two weeks? No. So don't attach such importance to it. You do your own thing and that's what has the meaning.

      • When only your opinion counts, you will find it easier to remain more relaxed and less stressed. In other words, maintain equanimity. You are in control all my opinions that matter. How wonderful is this feeling? You can’t keep track of everything else and it’s not worth trying.

   4. Watch your body language. Even if we say the calmest and most cool things, sometimes our body gives us away. Your voice says, “It’s okay. Don’t worry,” as steam comes out of your ears and your hands are clenched into fists. There is no special news here: everyone will notice this. So when you speak calmly, also make sure that your body backs it up.

      • Body position is usually determined by the situation. The main way to look worried and anxious (and Not calmly) - this is if your muscles are tense. If you think your body might be giving you away, walk through it from head to toe, consciously checking to make sure every part is relaxed. If not, then relax her. This can also lead to spiritual equanimity.

   5. Develop the perfect "shrug". If someone comes to you with fresh gossip, this is the reaction you will resort to. This does not have to be a real shrug of the shoulders, but in its essence it will be equated to one. "Oh, great. Where did you hear that?" – a good verbal “shrug” when you are expected to hear: “Oh my God, are you serious?!” Basically, everything goes in one ear and comes out the other.

      • It's also a good idea to have a "mental shrug" attitude as well. Spilled milk? Squeeze. Well, I guess I need to wipe the stain away, right? Have you gained a couple of extra pounds? Squeeze. More salad today.

   Part 3

   Unruffled lifestyle

   1. Go your own way. Those people who are not unflappable (outrageous, if you will) are busy adjusting their lives to what others consider normal. They try so hard to make sure everything is so okay, to be accepted and loved. In short, they worry too much. And about those things that are not worth it. Don't repeat their way of life or anyone else's - go your own way. You don't care what others say - you will do what brings you joy.

      • This helps for many reasons. This keeps you busy, makes a lot of new friends, and makes you feel happy and fulfilled. The bigger your world, the less everyone gets. One person who previously could upset you is no longer able to do this, because you know dozens of the same people.

   2. Realize that you have a lot of grains. Let's use this example: let's say you want to plant a garden, but you only have one seed. You plant this seed so carefully, watching it day and night, worrying that nothing will come of it, maybe even destroying it in the process. Luckily, in real life we're not talking about your garden. You have so many seeds that you hardly know what to do with them all! You can sprinkle a little here, a little there, and then see what happens. How important is this to you? Well, quite important. You want your garden to thrive. But are you going to stay up all night worrying about one small grain? What more.

      • This is a somewhat figurative way of saying that there is a lot going on in your life. If one thing doesn’t work out, well, that’s okay. There are a thousand other things in your life that are going great, thank them for that. So there is no need to worry. If this "seed" doesn't sprout, you plant another one.

   3. Give others the opportunity to take the initiative in most plans. Another way to appear far from equanimity is to act too passionately. You are always the one who is excited and bursting with ideas, trying to get people to do something. Slow down a little, ardent innovator. To be equanimous, you need others to approach you most of the time. You willingly participate, but you are only a passenger on the flight. Not the captain of the ship at all.

      • This is what concerns for the most part time. You don’t want to be a stupid, empty person who just rides on other people’s successful ideas. And you also need your friends to know how much you appreciate them. If you are invited, make it clear that you had fun and that next time you can have a party, for example, at your home. After all, friendship is a two-way street.

   4. Put problems on the brakes. When Idina Menzel says in her song, “Let it go, let it go,” she's not kidding. If your mood pendulum is trying to swing left or right, stop for a moment. Count to 10 and let it pass. Focus on being calm, cool and collected. Like this. Of course you are happy or of course you are sad - but you don't let it affect you. What's the point of this?

      • If something is really bothering you and you are trying to fight it, just tell yourself that you will worry about it tomorrow. But as long as your mind is free, you know that you will return to this in 24 hours. What happens next? Tomorrow comes and you either no longer remember what to worry about, or you already feel significantly better (or at least more in control) about what happened.

   Warnings

   • Remember that a neutral attitude is best seen during times when you are under heavy emotional burden. This is the best way to hide your feelings and not scare other people away. This quality can define you as a strong person with a rock-solid self-control.
   • Be sensitive to the feelings of others. Too much equanimity can offend people and drive them away from you. Unfortunately, it can also scare off your crush if you're not careful.

If what you fear actually happens,

There is no point in being afraid, go towards it and solve it.

If what you fear does not happen -

It's stupid to worry.

The best thing in this case, when you are worried about an upcoming unpleasant and even terrible situation, is to do the following exercise:

No matter how scary it may be, imagine all the worst things that could happen to you as a result of events developing in the way that now seems possible to you, or even already happening, and try to figure out how you will get out of this situation. Better - several options.

You will get out of any situation, that’s absolutely certain, so don’t let your fear take away your self-control even in the most crisis situations. Because it’s just a pointless waste of energy to worry.

Some, by the way, really like to worry - how can you not worry if an event has occurred that, by all standards, is terrible and you simply need to suffer!

Not at all. Even if someone has died, you have every right not to worry, if only because the deceased does not need the experiences of his loved ones, but spiritual support in the path he follows after his physical death. And if only because your experiences won’t change anything anyway. And it will not be hypocrisy or hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is when a person hides his own feelings in order to appear in a way that benefits him.

In connection with all this, I will write you one Eastern parable, or rather, its literal meaning.

Teacher and Student are talking. The student asks: “Teacher, I’ve learned so much from you, I’ve gained so much wisdom, because I already know everything! Tell me, Teacher, what else should I do in order to be the wisest and most enlightened?” “Almost nothing at all,” the Teacher replies, “it’s nothing: I will read mantras to you, and you will memorize them. If you don’t remember, you will receive thirty blows with a stick; if you remember, you will receive thirty blows with a stick.”

Moral: no matter how you live, no matter how and what you strive for, you will still receive that set of tests, those thirty blows with a stick that are prescribed to you from above in order for you to become more spiritual, in order to complete that task , for which you were sent to Earth. Therefore, there is no use in worrying.

When a person is too focused on one topic and at the same time completely ignores all others in his life, depends on the result of what he does, plans his life depending on it, any, even the smallest mistake, can be fatal.

For the sake of your own happiness, it makes sense to live a full life, without depriving yourself of anything (but not to the detriment of others!), However, you should be aware that excessive love of pleasure and refusal to solve difficulties is the other side of the coin, this is another extreme – complete dispersion of your attention.

There is a huge difference between determination and obsession. The first guarantees purposeful, competent, intelligent, logical progress towards the goal, while the second absorbs a person entirely, depriving him of the opportunity to be full in other areas of his life, destroying him for other people, for his family, for society.

Being fixated on a task does not mean purposefulness; a fixated person, as a rule, is very inattentive to the signs that fate, God, the Universe give him, and therefore he follows the path of much greater resistance than he would have walked if he had been more open, free from his obsession, attentive to what is happening.

Bianca Schreiber admitted in an interview that for a long time she was very worried about her figure, she could not lose weight, and this was the case until there was only dancing in her life. But when something else appeared (she was talking about her personal life), this problem began to be solved surprisingly easily.

In a word, you need to pay as much attention to dance as your soul and body require, without making them suffer for other reasons.

In fact, the line here is very thin, as in everything that concerns a person’s relationships with other people and with himself.

Very often, when talking about almost any topic of a book, I would like to use a metaphor from science fiction writer Efremov: razor blade. This is the golden mean in everything.

“Off beat” exercise system

If you really decide to become the first in dance sports, in addition to general and individual lessons, you need to train on your own. And in order to train on your own, you need to know in what aspects what is important, which muscles are trained for what and in what way.

The muscles of the feet, legs, hips and back are responsible for the strength and speed of movement. When training strength and speed, it is necessary to monitor whether all muscles are involved in the training. Try to monitor the work of the muscles during training: do the muscles of the feet, legs and hips work in extension, is there interaction between the muscles of the back and legs through the abs and gluteal muscles (or in these places you don’t even feel whether there are any muscles there at all) ) and so on.

The muscles of the body, neck and arms are responsible for plasticity. The beauty, softness and flexibility of your movement depend, first of all, on how well you control these muscles together, in interaction with other muscles, or each one separately. Classical dance and modern jazz techniques provide excellent training in this direction. Of these, the most effective stretching exercises are known.

Leading is one of the most important topics and the most difficult. Competent guidance is necessary for the convenience of dancing, and for synchrony, coherence of dance in a pair, and for increasing speed, changing rhythm, stretching, and for mutual understanding. All this together creates the impression of complete harmony between partner and partner.

Some partners believe that the partner should do absolutely everything herself, no matter how complex the figure she is performing; and guidance is necessary only so that she knows what her partner is doing at the moment.

Others believe that the partner should do everything only from the partner and with the help of the partner.

There is grain in both opinions. The most important thing here is not to rush to extremes. Yes, the partner should be able to do everything herself, but she should not do this without impulses and guidance from her partner, otherwise she will turn into a self-propelled installation, and the partner will turn into a clumsy, meaningless stand for her, a mannequin giving her hands, no one knows why - After all, she does everything herself.

Yes, the partner must determine absolutely all the movements of the partner, but this does not mean that he must do everything for her, because in this version the partner looks like a man carrying an insensitive, clumsy deck. The most important task of leading is to help each other dance and help each other understand their actions. If you are a partner, try to feel during the dance how you dance with your partner, her center, do not separate your dance from her dance, your partner should be a continuation of your dance, in this feeling, in fact, lies the whole technique and the whole meaning of leading.

Choreography, staging of figures in adult dance (I mean, in adult dance in terms of content and level, and not according to the age of the performers) depends, first of all, on the meaning of the figure being performed in the context of the entire variation. The choreographic design of the dance sets, first of all, the image of the partner and partner, their relationships played out in the variation, their emotions and moods conceived by them (or their coach, choreographer) in this variation.

It is clear that experiencing some emotions in connection with your image in dance is not at all enough to create beautiful, logical and readable choreography. This requires muscle preparation and knowledge of certain laws of the relationship between emotions and movement.

Particular attention should be paid to training the speed of rotation, in which the following points are decisive: a strictly vertical position of the entire body, the beginning of rotation from top to bottom along the entire body, fixation of the head (gaze), quick setting of the legs, distribution of weight equally on both legs, etc.

In any sport, as in any type of choreography, there are training methods that have been improved by many generations of trainers. Each of these methods implies a very specific system of exercises aimed at developing the qualities necessary for an athlete to achieve high sports results in his field.

Sports dance has absorbed a lot from sports and choreography, thus setting itself very high standards and ideals, dictated by the results already seen by humanity in both sports and choreography. The basis of sports dance is creativity, combining physical perfection with the richness of the inner world, that is, the ideal to which humanity has always strived. It is clear that this ideal is twice as difficult to achieve as the goals of stagecraft or sports separately. And it is also clear that this unique creativity requires its own original methodology, a system of exercises focused on achieving methods of movement that embody the ideal of sports dance.

Unfortunately, in sports dance, for 99% of trainers, the training system comes down to constant attempts every day to dance the way you need to dance, to dance the final result. That is, work is underway on a ready-made version of the dance, the desire to immediately, bypassing the intermediate training stage, show the final result. It is very easy to identify such a trainer: during a lesson (general seminar, individual lesson) he shows what needs to be done and how. This is very good. Some coaches don't even do this. But in order to dance the way the coach wants, you need to use certain, simplified, repetitive exercises to train the elements of movements required for a given performance technique and then put them together. Then you will get the required result.

In all types of activity without exception, including sports, during 80% of the training time, painstaking work is carried out on eliminating minor shortcomings, developing individual minor skills, and only after that it comes to collecting all the skills to implement them together in a finished form, in the final result.

Until now, only one system of exercises has been developed that allows training sports dance performers and is capable of solving the issues listed above with its own means. This system was developed by Robert Tsakharias, currently living and working in Germany, a trainer-choreographer, who at one time (in 1988 - 1990) achieved high results in dance sports in Russia thanks to his methodology, according to which seminars were repeatedly held in Moscow and other cities of Russia, Belarus and Lithuania. He discovered a new formula for training in children's dance, applying principles that had previously been used only in the training of adult athletes.

Robert Tsakharias's method is also good because you can start working on it right from dance school; it does not require, by and large, preliminary dance training for students, which sometimes takes several years.

The exercises of the “Off beat” system form the basis, the “skeleton” of the movement, on which any plasticity and a wide variety of rhythm interpretation options can easily be placed.

This is a set of exercises that, at first glance, vaguely resemble the finished result of a dance, aimed at working out various parameters of the dance, individual muscle groups, which most trainers do not get their hands and thoughts on, since they try to dance all at once. The elements in the "Off beat" system are divided into "steps", "adds", "kicks" and "spin and turn figures". For each of the elements there is a set of exercises aimed at developing the beauty of lines, strength and speed of movement, stability, and also combined exercises have been developed, including various combinations of all elements.

As a result of working using this technique, dancers within a very short period of time (3-4 months) dramatically improve their speed, rhythm, accuracy and strength of movement, the lines of the body, arms and legs look much better, and stability increases. On this basis, any choreography feels comfortable.

In the series of books “Psychology of Dance Sports” the release of the “Off beat” technique is planned as a separate book with illustrations, a detailed description of the exercises, methodological explanations for coaches and medical and physiological justifications.

word meaning worry in explanatory dictionaries of the Russian language:

Ozhegov's explanatory dictionary.

worry

- see survive
***
2. - worry, worry about something, suffer because of something
Example: I had a fight with my wife and now I’m worried.

Efremova T.F. Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language.

worry

nesov. trans. and uninterrupted.
1) a) transfer. To live longer than someone, to stay alive after someone. of death.
b) To be, to exist, to last longer than something.
c) transfer Continue to retain its significance after the death of the author, creator or
after creation, appearance (about deeds, works, works, etc.).
2) a) transfer. To live, to exist in smb. time, reschedule smb. - usually
heavy - events, phenomena of surrounding life.
b) transfer To endure some processes of internal development.
3) transfer To experience something feeling - excitement, anxiety, etc. - due
with smth., responding to smth.
4) transfer trans. Find the strength to endure something; withstand.
5) a) transfer. trans. To penetrate deeply into what arises in consciousness, in
imagination.
b) Imbue with the feelings and thoughts of the character being portrayed.
c) Concentrate thoughts and feelings on something.
6) transfer To live, to exist. deadline, time.

S.I.Ozhegov, N.Yu.Shvedova. Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language.

After a series of falling in love and breaking up, I realized: men come and go. I have come to terms with this fact. When a relationship doesn't develop the way I want, I don't take it to heart. I've learned to adjust my expectations. When a relationship falls apart or a man rejects me, I don’t blame myself.

I still believe in love - I will always believe in it. But in my eyes it has lost its magic. I began to treat love more realistically. When another relationship breaks up or the man turns out to be not what I expected, I don’t go crazy with grief.

My heart warns me - don’t have too much hope, prepare for the worst. Even before starting a relationship with a man, I think about the consequences of breaking up with him. Before falling in love, I mentally prepare myself for suffering. In every acquaintance I see an inevitable separation. Potential love is scary because of the pain it can cause.

I'm tired of traveling a thousand kilometers for the sake of people who are not ready to take at least a few steps towards me

I was no longer the dreamy young girl who blindly followed my feelings and wanted more than anything to love and be loved. Now I don’t open my heart to people who will then tear it into pieces.

I'm tired of traveling a thousand kilometers for people who are not ready to take at least a few steps towards me. I have become older and wiser. Now I understand that romantic relationships are not the most important thing in life. I’d rather spend my energy and time on something more practical and real – like work. It brings returns commensurate with the investment. I will invest strength in myself and my development, instead of pinning my hopes on another person, I will spend time with loved ones. There's no point in worrying about those who won't be in my life for long.

I need a real stable relationship, not just passion and physical attraction that quickly evaporates

I need pragmatic love that makes sense. I don't need feelings that drive me crazy and make me do stupid things. It's no longer fun to chase love and fight for a happy ending that only exists in my imagination. I prefer to live by my own rules and not wait for someone to change their attitude towards me; I don’t want to waste time and energy on people who are unworthy of me.

I dream of a stable, comfortable future. I want to be the meaning of life for my man. I want natural love that I don't have to desperately fight for. I finally realized that I deserve more. And you are worthy too. You deserve all the love in this world, don't chase it.

To find love, forget about it

In order to meet love, you need to learn to switch, advises clinical psychologist Veronika Kazantseva.

When we want something badly, we create excess tension around the desire. We constantly think about it, make superhuman efforts to achieve what we want. In the case of love, we are looking for our one and only, looking closely at men, evaluating potential partners.

Such tension prevents you from enjoying life and paying attention to pleasant events. It also turns men off - when communicating with them we become tense, overly demanding or overly interested. This frightens and worries men. Often love comes when the brain “turns off.” We begin to communicate naturally - we enjoy interacting with another person and do not expect anything in return.

Don't get hung up on finding a potential partner. It's better to shift your focus, but it's important to do it right

If you switch to work with frantic zeal, the effect will be the opposite. You will have no energy and time left for your personal life. People around you will think that you are only interested in work. Better do something interesting. Choose a hobby that will help you meet men: a shooting club, a climbing wall, or couples dancing.

But meeting your hero is not the main goal. The main thing is that you need to gain experience communicating with different men. When a woman has little such experience, she comes up with a lot about men herself. A woman transfers her projections to a potential partner and rejects him without having time to really get to know the person. Meet and flirt with men - having had enough of such communication, you will feel confident. Then you can see a man for who he is and make the right choice.

First, let's answer the question - what is experience? This is the process of repeatedly comprehending a situation from the past or future. What is noteworthy is that experiences are triggered by people prone to this, however, they then live their own lives. In some cases, our inner world becomes a place of their independent, uncontrolled existence for an indefinite period.

Life goes by too quickly, and if you spend it on something that can’t be fixed anyway, on constantly irritating your wounds, then there will be no time left for something more important...
Oleg Roy. Web of Lies

It is considered absolutely normal to worry about some changes in your life, and about problems, as well as thinking about the future.

Sometimes it is experiences that push us to the right solution to problems. But sometimes experiences go too far and become a chronic phenomenon. You urgently need to get rid of this and here are my 9 tips on how to,how to get rid of worries:

1. Acceptance of reality

We live in a very fickle world. Even the best laid plans can fall apart in the blink of an eye. If you learn to accept the impermanence of the real world around you, then your life will become much easier.

2. Live in the moment

You can stop worrying about the future by starting to live for today. Today you go to work and give yourself completely to it, today you communicate with family members and enjoy it. Today is just today. Appreciate the colors and smells of today's sensations. The future is undoubtedly very important and there must be some plan for it too, but don’t get lost in it. The sooner you understand this, the sooner you will begin to enjoy life!

3. Make an action plan

You can solve the problem of unnecessary worries by simply making an action plan. In order to achieve your goal, you need to think through a clear action plan. Make a list of tasks needed to achieve this goal.

4. Think positively

Throw away all the negativity and start living positively. Intentionally banish bad thoughts from your mind and believe in yourself. Set yourself up for positive emotions, and your life will change for the better!

5. Prioritize

Decide on your priorities and deal with each one individually. Get into the habit of writing down everything you do for the day. This way, fewer surprises will come your way. The feeling that your day was not in vain will help you relax.

6. Take action

Simply worrying will not help you solve all your problems, so try to leave the worry behind and start taking action. Plan your day by the hour and don’t leave a minute to worry. Solve your problems sequentially and as they arise. Try to rationally distribute your day and not leave a second for useless worries.

7. Keep a diary

Thoughts are always very abstract and sometimes very difficult to understand. They often distract you from important matters and lead you in a direction that is not at all necessary for you. Write down your thoughts, this will concretize and simplify them. This will help you deal with many serious problems in your life.

8. Just talk to someone

9. Do relaxation exercises

Breathing exercises, yoga, physical exercise, massage are just a few of the things that can help you.

Learn to think soberly and you will get rid of stupid unnecessary worries.

Many people suffer from chronic anxiety. These tips may help solve this problem. If you know of any other ways to deal with constant worry, please share with us!