PREFACE

Reasonable people adapt to the surrounding world. Unreasonable people adapt the world to themselves. That's why progress is determined by actions unreasonable people. George Bernard Shaw.

The historical event as presented by the chronicler has much in common with the speech of a seller of the latest miraculous remedies, a diplomat or a defender. Is not it?

The conversational traditions of people in cultures untouched by civilization, before the advent of orthography, contain both convenience and challenge: convenience in their orderliness and the immutable flow of events, and a challenge to the chronicler who bears witness to the chaos that must ultimately match the size and duration chronicles. But after some time, damned amnesia takes over the chronicler, and his story begins to sound completely confident.

Gregory Bateson warned us about the deadly triangle of technology, about the tendency of the human race to replace natural physical context (the forests of the Amazon) with artificial context (the streets of New York), and about conscious planning not balanced by subconscious processes. Tom Malloy (in his brilliant novella "The Curtain of Dawn") corrects Charles Darwin's slip that he spoke of "survival of the fittest" when he would have made less of a mistake if he had said "survival of the fittest."

The two authors, O'Connor and Seymour, intend to offer us a coherent story, devoid of wild adventures. The jungle through which Richard and I made our way in our explorations is bizarre and amazing. These two wonderful and well-meaning people will show you something reminiscent of an English rose garden, well-kept and decent.Both the jungle and the rose garden have their own unique appeal.

Like a talented composer, some people are more gifted in life than others. They do have a significant impact on others, but that's all, because there is no way to describe in technological terms what what are they doing, because the most of this process is outside the scope of their awareness. Some day in the future, many, many years from now, when culture has been more fully explored, there will be some equivalent of musical notes that can be learned, separate for different types of men and women engaged in different activities and involved in different relationships, for every single time, place, work and play. Today we see people who are happy and who are pursued by luck, whose work is productive and rewarded now. What makes their lives different from those of their less fortunate contemporaries? We need to explore and apply this “toolkit” to make life a little less random and a little more enjoyable.

Edward Hall "Silent Language"

INTRODUCTION

This book is an introduction and guide to the country known as Neurolinguisticprogramming, or NLP for short. NLP is the art and science of excellence, the result of research into how outstanding people various areas activities achieved their outstanding results. These communication skills can be mastered by anyone who wants to improve their personal and professional effectiveness.

This book describes the various models of excellence that NLP has built in communication, business, education and therapy. Our approach is practical, it produces results and makes an impact in a wide variety of human endeavors.

NLP continues to grow and generate new ideas. We writers find that, by contrast, books tend to be limited and static. Every book is a judgment true for the time in which it was written. This is a “photograph” of the item being described. And yet, there is no reason not to take a photograph today just because the person tomorrow will be different.

Think of this book as a bridge that allows you to explore new territory and continue the exciting journey of life. It represents the authors' understanding of NLP and does not claim to be the definitive or official version. This version will never appear - by the very nature of NLP. This is just an introduction, and we had a lot of choice as to what to include and what not to include. A semi-book is just one of many possible ways to organize this material.

NLP is a model of how individuals structure their unique life experiences. This is just one of many ways to understand and organize a fantastically complex and yet beautiful system. human thoughts and communications. We hope that our co-authorship has brought a certain depth to the book's description of NLP that would not have happened if the book had only one author. The depth effect occurs when a person focuses both eyes on an object. And the world becomes flat when he looks at it with one eye.

NLP represents a certain worldview and way of existing in this world, which cannot be presented in one book, but the concept of which can be obtained by reading between the lines. Pleasure from beauty piece of music arises from listening to this piece, and not from reading the notes.

NLP is a practical thing. It is a set of models, skills and technologies for thinking and acting effectively in this world. The goal of NLP is to be helpful, expand your choices, and make life better. The most important issues about what you found for yourself in that book are: “Is this useful? It works?" Find what is useful and what works by experiencing it for yourself. It is even more important to discover where it is NOT works, and change it until it works. This is the spirit of NLP.

We were going to write a book that would be an overview of NLP. She would share our excitement when we learned that how do people think and about the changes that are possible. It would include a number of the most useful skills, patterns and techniques and present them in a form ready to be used as a toolkit for change in this changing world. After the first reading, it would still be useful as a reference manual. She would offer practical guide for the acquisition of other books on NLP, pursuing different interests and proposals. And she would provide recommendations on choosing NLP training courses.

This goal was so daunting, simply because of the “apparent obviousness” of NLP, that neither of us was ready to vigorously tackle it. Pooling our resources gave us courage. How far we get towards our goal depends on how useful you find this book.

We would especially like to encourage you to further research in the field of NLP and to using these powerful ideas with honesty and respect for yourself and others to create new and happy opportunities in your personal and professional lives and in the lives of others.

We originally planned to include a chapter in the book with stories of how people discovered NLP and descriptions of their personal experience application of NLP tools. But we soon decided that describing someone else's experience would be more entertaining than helpful. direct impact. On the contrary, in the spirit of NLP, we strongly encourage you to write about your experience as an interested use of NLP.

It's better to experience NLP yourself. So read the menu and if you like what you read about, try the dish itself.

Photography has never been the person himself. First step – It's not a journey yet. A musical note is not yet a sound. There is no magic, only magicians and human perception.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

We would like to express our gratitude to the many people who inspired and helped us in writing this book.

First of all, we want to pay tribute and gratitude to the founders of NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

We would also like to thank John Grinder for reading the manuscript and making some very helpful comments that we took into account in preparing the book for publication, as well as for the introduction he wrote.

We also want to pay tribute and appreciation to the many people who developed these ideas, especially Robert Diltz, who has had a significant influence on the development of NLP in many ways over the past decade. Our thanks and appreciation to Robert for permission to use his materials on strategies and the Unified Field. He helped us, generously giving us his ideas and inspiring us to write the book.

Introduction to neurolinguistic programming.

The latest psychology of personal mastery

Joseph O'Connor, John Seymour

INTRODUCTION........................................................ ........................................................ ................................... 6

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS........................................................ ........................................................ ...................... 7

Chapter 1................................................ ........................................................ ......................................... 8

WHAT IS NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING?................................................. 8

SANTA CRUZ, CALIFORNIA, 1972.................................... ............................................... 8

SANTACRUZ, 1976................................................. ........................................................ ......................... 9

MAPS AND FILTERS.................................................... ........................................................ .................. 10

LEARNING, FORGING AND RELEARNING.................................................... ....................... 12

THREE-MINUTES SEMINAR................................................................. ........................................................ . 13

RESULTS................................................. ........................................................ ............................. 14

RESULTS. SUMMARY................................................. ........................................................ .......... 16

PRESENT STATE AND DESIRED STATE.................................................... ... 17

COMMUNICATION................................................. ........................................................ ................... 18

RAPPORT......................................................... ........................................................ ................................... 19

JOINING AND MAINTENANCE................................................................. ........................................... 21

Chapter 2................................................... ........................................................ ..................................... 23

DOORS OF PERCEPTION................................................... ........................................................ ............... 23

REPRESENTATIVE SYSTEMS................................................................. ........................................... 23

PREFERRED REPRESENTATION SYSTEMS.................................................................... ... 26

LANGUAGE AND REPRESENTATIVE SYSTEMS.................................................................... ........................ 26

PREDICATES........................................................ ........................................................ ........................... 27

LEADING SYSTEM................................................... ........................................................ ............... 28

SYNAESTHESIA, SUPPLIANCE AND TRANSLATION.................................................... ........................... 29

EYE ACCESS SIGNALS.................................................... ............................................... thirty

OTHER ACCESS SIGNALS.................................................... ........................................................ 32

SUBMODALITIES......................................................... ........................................................ ............... 33

EXAMPLES OF SENSORY DEFINED WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS.................................................. 37

Chapter 3................................................... ........................................................ ..................................... 38

PSYCHOLOGICAL STATES AND EMOTIONAL FREEDOM.................................... 38

EXTRACTION........................................................ ........................................................ ................................... 39

CALIBRATION................................................... ........................................................ ............................... 40

ANCHORS......................................................... ........................................................ ........................................ 41

ANCHORING RESOURCES.................................................... ........................................................ .......... 43

CHAIN ​​OF ANCHORS................................................... ........................................................ .................... 46

DESTRUCTION OF ANCHORS................................................... ........................................................ .......... 46

CHANGING PERSONAL HISTORY.................................................... ........................... 48

JOINING THE FUTURE............................................................ ........................................... 49

GENERATOR OF NEW BEHAVIOR.................................................... ........................................ 50

Chapter 4................................................... ........................................................ ..................................... 51

CYCLES AND SYSTEMS.................................................... ........................................................ ............... 51

LEARNING CYCLES................................................................. ........................................................ ................. 53

FEEDBACK FROM FAILURE.................................................... ........................................... 54

LEARNING LEVELS................................................................... ........................................................ ............... 54

DESCRIPTIONS OF REALITY................................................... ........................................................ ..... 56

TRIPLE DESCRIPTION................................................... ........................................................ ............ 56

UNITED FIELD OF NLP DEVELOPED BY ROBERT DILTS.................................... 57

BELIEFS........................................................ ........................................................ ........................... 60

Chapter 5................................................... ........................................................ ..................................... 64

WORDS AND MEANINGS.................................................... ........................................................ ................ 64

REFLECTIONS OUT LOUD................................................... ........................................................ ......... 65

RESTORATION OF THE MEANING OF WORDS – META-MODEL.................................................... .......... 66

SAY IT ALL. DEPTH STRUCTURE.................................................... ........................... 66

NON-SPECIFIC NOUNS.................................................................... .................... 67

NON-SPECIFIC VERBS.................................................... ........................................... 68

COMPARISONS................................................... ........................................................ ........................... 68

JUDGMENTS........................................................ ........................................................ ........................... 69

NOMINALIZATIONS................................................................... ........................................................ ................. 69

MODAL OPERATORS POSSIBILITIES.................................................... ....................... 70

MODAL OPERATORS OF NEED.................................................... ............... 71

UNIVERSAL QUANTIFIERS................................................................. ........................... 72

COMPREHENSIVE EQUIVALENCE................................................................. .................................. 73

PRESUPPOSITIONS................................................... ........................................................ ............... 74

CAUSE AND INVESTIGATION............................................... ........................................................ .......... 74

READING MINDS................................................... ........................................................ .................... 75

METAMODEL PATTERNS................................................................. ........................................................ ..... 78

Chapter 6................................................... ........................................................ ..................................... 80

UPTIME AND DOWNTIME.................................................... ........................................................ ............. 80

MILTON MODEL................................................... ........................................................ .................... 81

JOINING AND MAINTENANCE................................................................. ............................................... 82

SEARCHING FOR MEANING................................................... ........................................................ ...................... 83

DISTRACTION AND UTILIZATION OF CONSCIOUSNESS.................................................................... ........................... 84

LEFT AND RIGHT HEMISPHERES OF THE BRAIN.................................................... ................................ 85

ACCESS TO THE SUBCONSCIOUS CONSCIOUSNESS AND RESOURCES.................................................... ........................... 86

METAPHORS................................................... ........................................................ ........................... 87

CREATING A METAPHOR.................................................... ........................................................ .......... 88

PRINCE AND MAGIC................................................... ........................................................ ........................... 89

REFRAMING AND TRANSFORMATION OF MEANING.................................................... .................... 90

VERBAL TOUCHING................................................................. ........................................... 91

REFRAMING CONTEXT.................................................... ........................................................ ... 92

CONTENT REFRAMING.................................................... ................................................... 92

INTENTION AND BEHAVIOR.................................................... ................................................ 93

SIX STEP REFRAMING.................................................... ........................................... 94

TIME LINE................................................... ........................................................ ................... 96

NEAR AND THROUGH TIME.................................................... ........................... 98

LANGUAGE AND TIME.................................................... ........................................................ ........................... 99

Chapter 7................................................... ........................................................ ..................................... 100

CONFLICT AND CONGRUENCE.................................................... ....................................... 100

IDENTIFICATION OF CONGRUENCE SIGNAL.................................................... ......... 101

IDENTIFYING THE SIGNAL OF INCONGRUENCE.................................................... ... 101

IDENTIFYING CRITERIA.................................................... ........................................................ .... 102

HIERARCHY OF CRITERIA.................................................... ........................................................ ....... 103

SNAKES AND LADERS – STEP UP AND STEP DOWN.................................... .................... 104

METAPROGRAMS................................................................... ........................................................ ............... 105

TRADE................................................. ........................................................ ........................... 111

FRAMEWORK................................................. ........................................................ .................................... 112

MEETINGS........................................................ ........................................................ ........................... 114

NEGOTIATION................................................. ........................................................ ........................... 116

Chapter 8................................................... ........................................................ .................................... 120

PSYCHOTHERAPY................................................. ........................................................ ................... 120

FIRST ORDER CHANGES.................................................... ..................................... 120

CUREMENT OF PHOBIA................................................... ........................................................ .............. 121

SECOND ORDER CHANGES.................................................... ........................................ 124

INTERNAL CONFLICT.................................................... ........................................................ .. 124

Chapter 9................................................... ........................................................ .................................... 126

FIRST MODELS................................................... ........................................................ ................... 126

BELIEFS........................................................ ........................................................ ........................... 127

PHYSIOLOGY................................................. ........................................................ ........................ 128

STRATEGIES................................................... ........................................................ ........................... 128

RECIPE FOR SUCCESS.................................................... ........................................................ .................... 129

MUSICAL STRATEGY.................................................... ................................................... 131

MEMORY STRATEGIES.................................................................... ................................................... 132

STRATEGY OF LITERATE WRITING (SPELLING)................................................. ............. 134

CREATIVITY STRATEGY.................................................... ........................................................ .... 135

ABOUT MODELING AGAIN................................................... ................................................... 137

USER MANUAL.................................................................... ................................ 141

Epilogue................................................. ........................................................ .................................... 143

Investing in yourself........................................................ ........................................................ ................... 146

Choice NLP trainings........................................................................................................... 148

NLP Dictionary................................................... ........................................................ ........................... 150

PREFACE

Reasonable people adapt to the world around them. Unreasonable people adapt the world to themselves. This is why progress is determined by the actions of unreasonable people. George Bernard Shaw.

The historical event as presented by the chronicler has much in common with the speech of a diplomat or defender who sells the latest miraculous remedies. Is not it?

The conversational traditions of people in cultures untouched by civilization, before the advent of orthography, contain both convenience and challenge: convenience in their orderliness and the immutable flow of events, and a challenge to the chronicler who bears witness to the chaos that must ultimately match the size and duration chronicles. But after a while. damned amnesia seizes the chronicler, and his story begins to sound completely confident.

Gregory Bateson warned us about the deadly triangle of technology, about the tendency of the human race to replace natural physical context (the forests of the Amazon) with artificial context (the streets of New York), and about conscious planning not balanced by subconscious processes. Tom Malloy (in his brilliant novella "The Curtain of Dawn") corrects Charles Darwin's slip that he spoke of "survival of the fittest" when he would have made less of a mistake if he had said "survival of the fittest."

The two authors, O'Connor and Seymour, intend to offer us a coherent story, devoid of wild adventures. The jungle through which Richard and I made our way in our explorations is bizarre and wonderful. These two wonderful and well-meaning people will show you something reminiscent of an English rose garden, well-kept and decent.Both the jungle and the rose garden have their own unique appeal.

Like a talented composer, some people are more gifted in life than others. They do have a significant impact on others, but that's all, because there is no way to describe in technological terms what what are they doing, since most of this process is outside the scope of their awareness. Some day in the future, many, many years from now, when culture has been more fully explored, there will be some equivalent of musical notes that can be learned, separate for different types of men and women engaged in different activities and involved in different relationships, for every single time, place, work and play. Today we see people who are happy and who are pursued by luck, whose work is productive and rewarded now. What makes their lives different from those of their less fortunate contemporaries? We need to explore and apply this “toolkit” to make life a little less random and a little more enjoyable.

Edward Hall Silent Language

INTRODUCTION This book is an introduction and guide to the country known as... This book describes the various models of excellence that NLP has built in communication, business, education and...

Chapter 1

As I was thinking about how to start this book, I remembered an encounter I had with a friend a few days earlier. We haven't for a while... Wonderful! - he said. -What is she talking about? Without thinking, I answered: “About neuro-linguistic programming

If you always do what you have always done, then you will always get what you always got. If what you're doing isn't working, do something else.

The wider the choice, the greater the chances of success. The coordination of the skills listed in the Three Minute Workshop is similar to when you rent a boat to explore the waters. You decide where you would like to go (your initial outcome). You begin to row and monitor the direction of your movement (sensory acuity). You compare that direction to where you were going, and if you're off course, you change direction. You repeat this cycle until you reach your destination.

Now you install your new goal. You can change it at any point in the cycle, enjoy the journey and learn something along the way. Your course will probably resemble a zigzag. It is very rare that there is a completely clear and direct path to where you want to go.

RESULTS

- Would you be so kind as to tell me which way I should go from here?

“It largely depends on where you want to come,” answered the cat.

“I don’t care where,” said Alice.

- Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the cat.

Lewis Carroll, "Alice in Wonderland"

Let's start with results or goals. The more accurately and positively you can define what you want, and the better you program your brain to look for and notice opportunities, the more likely you are to get what you want. Opportunities exist only then. when opportunities are recognized in them.

To live your life the way you want, you need to know what you want. Being effective in this world means achieving the results you choose. The first step, therefore, is to choose. If you don't do this, there will be plenty of people willing to do it for you.

How do you know what you want? You're making this up. We'll give you a few rules on how to do this, so you have a great chance of success. Speaking NLP language. you choose a well-formed result. That is the result. which is well formed according to the following criteria.

First, it must be worded positively. It's easier to move towards what you want than to move away from what you don't like. However, you cannot move towards something if you don't know what it is.

As an example, think for a moment about the kangaroo. Are you thinking about kangaroos? Fine.

Now stop thinking about kangaroos until you finish reading this page. Don't let the idea of ​​a kangaroo enter your mind for the next minute or so. Don't you think about kangaroos anymore? Now think about what you will do tomorrow...

To get away from this annoying kangaroo, you should think about something else, something positive.

This trick emphasizes the point that the brain can only understand negativity by replacing it with positivity. To avoid something, you need to know what it is that you are avoiding and keep your attention on it. You have to think about it so you know what not to think about, just as you have to keep an object in your sight when driving a car to avoid colliding with it. Whatever you resist becomes intrusive. This is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to stop smoking - you have to constantly think about smoking in order to quit smoking.

Secondly, you must play an active role and the outcome must be reasonably within your control. Outcomes that initially depend on other people taking action are not well-formed. If people don't respond the way you would like, you fail. Focus on what you need to do to trigger those reactions. So, for example, instead of waiting for you to make friends, think better about how to make friends with someone.

Visualize your result in as much detail as possible. What do you see, hear and feel? Imagine it and describe it to yourself, answering in writing the questions: who, what, where, when and how. The more complete the idea of ​​what you want, the better your brain can analyze it and notice opportunities to achieve it. In what context do you want it? Are there contexts in which you don't want to receive it?

How will you know that you have achieved your result? What is the sensory-based confirmation that will let you know that you have already received what you wanted? What will you see, hear and feel when you reach it? Some results are so uncertain that it would take several lifetimes to achieve. You could also set time limits on when you want to receive your result.

Do you have the resources to initiate and maintain results? What do you need? Maybe you already have them? If not, how are you going to get them? This is a point that must be carefully studied. These resources can be internal (special skills, or positive states of mind) or external. If you need external resources, you may need to supply an auxiliary result to obtain them.

The result must have real dimensions. It may be too big, in which case it should be broken down into several smaller, easily achievable results. For example, you might set a goal to become a better tennis player. This obviously will not happen next week, this is too vague and a distant result. It needs to be broken down into smaller chunks, so ask yourself, “What is stopping me from achieving this?”

This question will highlight several obvious problems. For example, you don't have a good tennis racket and need to be trained by a professional coach. Then turn those problems into goals by asking yourself, “What do I want instead?” I need to buy a good racket and find a coach. A problem is simply a result that is poorly formulated.

Perhaps by setting yourself big goals, you will have to go through the “formulation” process several times until you come to the point that the first step is reasonable in size and achievable. Even the longest journey begins with the first step (in the right direction, of course).

On the other hand, the result may seem too small and trivial to motivate you. For example, I may set myself the task of tidying up my office—a small and unattractive task. To give it some energy, I need to figure out how it relates to a larger, more important, more motivating outcome. So I ask myself: “If I get this result, what will it do for me?” In this example, this may be a step necessary to prepare the workspace for work on something else that is much more interesting. By putting these things together, I can take on that small task with the energy that comes from the larger outcome.

The final frame around outcome selection is ecological. There is no such person who lives in isolation from other people; we are all part of a larger system: family, work. circle of friends and society as a whole. You need to consider the implications of achieving your results in the context of these broader relationships. Will there be any unwanted side effects? What will you have to give up or what new things will you have to come to terms with in order to achieve your result?

For example. perhaps you would like to have more work. This will take up more time, so you will spend less time with your family. Taking on a large contract may increase your workload to the point where you may not be able to handle your job properly. Also make sure that your outcome is in complete harmony with you as a whole person. Results are not something you have to gain at the expense of others. The most significant and satisfying results are achieved through negotiation and cooperation to establish a shared outcome in which everyone is a winner. This automatically resolves the environmental issue.

These kinds of outcomes may force you to reconsider your results or move to a different outcome that serves the same intent but without the unwanted side effects. A classic example of choosing a non-environmental outcome was King Midas, who wanted everything he touched to turn to gold. Very soon he discovered that he was faced with serious difficulties.

RESULTS. SUMMARY.

You can remember the following rules using the mnemonic word "PAKPRRE", the letters of which are the first letters of the name of each subsequent step in determining a well-formed result.

Positive wording.

Think about what you want, not what you don't want. Ask: "What would I like to have?" "What do I really want?"

Active position.

Think about what you will be actively doing. Ask: "What will I do to achieve my result?"

“How can I start and maintain the process of achieving results?”

Specificity.

Imagine the result as concretely as you can. Ask: "Who, where, when, what and how specifically?"

Confirmation.

Consider sensory-based confirmation that lets you know you've already gotten what you wanted.

Ask: "What will I see, hear and feel when I have it? How will I know that I already have it?"

Step up If I get this result,

what will he give me?

Result Step down What's stopping me? Minor result

Resources.

Do you have the right resources and choices needed to get your outcome?

Ask: “What resources do I need to get my results?”

Dimensions.

Does the result have the right dimensions? If it's too big, ask, "What's stopping me from getting it?" - and break it final result to smaller ones. Make them fairly clear and achievable.

If it is too small to be motivating, ask: “If I get this result, what will it do for me?”

Work your way up until you find a connection to a result that is big enough and motivating.

Ecological frame.

Check the consequences that will arise in your life and relationships if you get your result.

Ask: “Who else will be affected by this outcome?” "What happens if I get it?" "If I had it immediately, would I be able to use it?"

Be attentive to your feelings of doubt that begin with the words: “Yes, but...”

What considerations does this feeling of doubt represent? How can you change your result to take these considerations into account?

Now run this modified result through the "PAKPRRE" process to see if it is well formed.

The last step is to take action. You should make the first move. A journey of a thousand kilometers begins with the first step.

If the result is well formed, then it is achievable, motivating and binding.

PRESENT STATE AND DESIRED STATE

One way to think about change in business, personal development, or education is to think of it as a journey from a present state to a desired state. The problem lies in the difference between these two conditions. By setting a result in the future, you in a sense create a problem in the present, and, conversely, any problem in the present can be turned into a future result

Your behavior, thoughts and feelings will be different in your present state and in your desired state. To move from one to the other, you need resources.

The energy to travel comes from motivation. The desired state must be something that we really want, or directly related to what we really want. We must also be captivated by the outcome. Reservations often indicate that ecology has not been fully taken into account. In short, we must want to make the journey and believe that the goal is achievable and worth pursuing.

Skills, techniques and resource states are means to achieve a goal. These may include our physiology, nutrition, strength and endurance. NLP skills are powerful resources for overcoming barriers of resistance and opposition.

COMMUNICATION

Communication is polyhedral word, which includes any interaction with other people: casual conversation, persuasion, teaching and negotiation.

What does the word "communication" mean? The word is a static noun, and real communication is in cycles or feedback loops that involve at least two people. You will not be able to communicate with a wax doll, it will be meaningless, it will not cause reactions. When you communicate with another person, you receive their reaction and react with your own thoughts and feelings. Your current behavior is shaped by your internal responses to what you see and hear. It is only because you pay attention to the other person that you even have an idea of ​​what to say or do next. Your partner reacts to your behavior in the same way.

You communicate through words, through the tones of your voice and through your body, posture, gestures and facial expressions. You cannot help but communicate. Some message is being conveyed even if you say nothing and remain silent. So, communication involves messages that are passed from one person to another. How do you know that the message you are sending is the message your partner received? You've probably had an experience where you did something to someone neutral message and were surprised at the importance he attached to your message. Are you sure that the meaning your partner received is exactly the meaning you intended to convey to him?

Eat interesting exercise, which is used in NLP training courses. You choose a simple sentence, e.g. “Today is a good day"—and the three main emotional messages you want to convey with that sentence. You can say it enthusiastically, threateningly, or sarcastically. You say your sentence to the other person in three ways without telling them the three messages you want convey. Then your partner explains to you what emotional messages he actually received in these sentences. Sometimes what you intended to convey will not correspond to what the partner received. Often this correspondence will not be. Then you need to think about what you changes in our voice and body movements should be made to ensure that the message our partner receives is the message you sent.

Communication is much more than the words we speak. They are only a small part of what we express as human beings. Research shows that when presenting to a group of people, 55% of impact is determined by your body language: posture, gestures and eye contact, 38% is determined by the tone of your voice and only 7% is determined by the content of what you say (M. Argyle et al. , in the British Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, Vol. 9, 1970, pp. 222-231).

The exact numbers will vary in different situations, but body language and tone of voice make huge differences in the impact and meaning of what we say. It is not what we say that makes difference, but how we say it. Margaret Thatcher spent a lot of time and effort trying to change her voice. Tone of voice and body language determine whether the word "hello" will sound like a simple greeting, a threat, a suppression, or a charming exclamation. Actors don't actually work with words, they hone their tone of voice and body language. Any actor should be able to convey at least a dozen different shades of meaning in the word “no.” Each of us expresses many shades of meaning in daily conversations and probably has a dozen different ways of saying “no,” but we don't consciously think about it.

If words are the content of a message, then posture, gestures, facial expressions and tone of voice provide the context in which messages are placed, and together they form the meaning of communication.

So, there is no guarantee that the other person understands the meaning of what you are trying to communicate. The answer to this question brings us back to results, sensitivity and flexibility. You know the result of your communication. You notice the reactions you get and you persistently change your actions or words until you get the reaction you want.

To become an effective communicator. act in accordance with the principle:

Meaning communication - in the reaction you receive.

We We constantly use our communication skills to influence people; therapy, management and education include the skills to communicate and influence people. There is a paradox: no one cares about teaching ineffective skills, but at the same time, effective skills can be considered flawed and labeled as manipulation. Manipulation has a negative connotation, as if you are pressuring a person to do something against their interests.

This is absolutely not true about NLP. NLP is the ability to interact effectively with other people and the ability to understand and respect their models of the world. Communication is a vicious cycle: what you do affects the other person, and what he does affects you - it cannot happen any other way. You can take responsibility for your part in this cycle. You are already influencing other people; the only choice is whether or not you are aware of the effect you are having. The only question is: can you influence people with integrity and integrity? Is this influence consistent with your values? NLP Techniques are neutral. As with driving a car, their use and application depends on the skill and intent of the person behind the wheel.

How do you get caught in a closed loop of communication? How can you take into account and evaluate another person's model of the world and at the same time maintain your own integrity? In education, therapy, counseling, business, trading and training, rapport (or empathy) is essential to establishing an atmosphere of trust, confidentiality and participation in which people can interact freely. What do we do to establish rapport with people, how do we create relationships of trust and responsiveness, and how can we refine and enhance our natural skills?

To get a practical rather than theoretical answer, let's pose the question differently. How do you know when two people are in rapport? If you look around you in restaurants, offices, any place where people meet and talk with each other, how do you know which people are already in rapport and which are not yet?

When two people are in rapport, their bodies, as well as their words, correspond to each other. What we say can build or break rapport, but it is only 7% of communication. Body language and tone of voice appear to be more important. You may have noticed that people in rapport tend to mirror and correspond to each other in posture, gestures and views. It's like a dance in which each partner responds and mirrors the other's movements with their own. with your own movements. They are engaged in a dance of mutual responsiveness. Their body languages ​​complement each other.

Have you ever noticed how, during a pleasant conversation with someone, your bodies take the same position? The deeper the rapport, the closer this correspondence will become. This skill seems to be innate because newborn babies move in rhythm with the voices of those around them. When people are not in rapport, their bodies reflect this: no matter what they say, their bodies do not match each other. They are not engaged in the dance, and you can immediately notice it.

Successful people build rapport, and rapport creates trust. You can build rapport with anyone by consciously refining the natural rapport-building skill you use every day. By adapting and mirroring your body language and tone of voice, you can build rapport with almost anyone. Matching eye movements is a clear rapport skill and is usually the only skill that is consciously taught in English culture, where there is a strong taboo against consciously noticing and responding to body language.

Establishing rapport means joining the other person's “dance” by matching their body language sensitively and respectfully. This builds a bridge between your model of the world and his. Adjustment is not imitation that is noticeable. imitates another person's movements in an exaggerated and indiscriminate manner, which is often considered offensive. You can adapt to the movements of the hand with weak movements of the hand, and to the movements of the body with reciprocal movements of the head. This is called "cross reflection". You can adjust your body weight distribution and basic posture. When people are similar to each other, they like each other. Matching your breathing is a very powerful way to build rapport. You've probably already noticed that when two people are in deep rapport, they breathe in unison.

These are the basic elements of rapport. But everyone who would like to master them should have their own experience of gaining rapport, so you shouldn’t blindly copy our advice. Pay attention to how other people do it. Track your own (natural) entry into rapport. Then refine your experience to be able to choose one way or another of entering rapport.

Pay special attention to the moment when you lined up. Some counselors and therapists mirror and adjust unconsciously, almost compulsively. Tuning is a very useful skill. The most elegant way to end a conversation is to leave the dance. You will not be able to get out of the dance if you did not dance in first position. The most severe detuning is to turn in the opposite direction.

Matching your voice is another way you can build rapport. You can adjust to the tone, pace, volume and rhythm of speech. It's like joining in on singing or playing a musical instrument: you fit in and become harmonious with the sound. You can use voice matching to build rapport during telephone conversation. You can then build back by changing the pace or tone of your voice towards the end of the conversation. This is a very useful skill. Ending a phone conversation naturally is sometimes quite difficult.

There are only two limits to your ability to establish rapport: the degree to which you can perceive other people's postures, gestures, and speech patterns, and the skill with which you can match them in the dance of rapport.

Pay attention to how you feel when you adjust, you may well feel uncomfortable adjusting to some people. There are probably some behaviors that you don't want to directly adapt to. You would not adjust to breathing that is higher than your natural rate or to asthmatic breathing. You could mirror both breaths with small rhythmic movements of your hand. A person's restless movements can be approximated by the swaying of your body. This is sometimes called cross-tuning: using some analogue behavior instead of direct reflection. If you are willing to use these skills consciously, you can build rapport with anyone. You don't have to love the other person to establish rapport with them, you're just building a bridge. to understand it better. Building rapport is one choice, and you won't know how effective it is or what results it brings until you try it.

Thus, rapport is the overall context around a verbal message. If the meaning of communication lies in the reaction it causes, then building rapport is the ability to cause reactions.

ACCESSION AND MAINTENANCE

Rapport allows you to build a bridge to another person: you gain some foothold for understanding and contact. Once it is established, you can begin to change your behavior and your partner will likely follow suit. You can take him in a different direction. Outstanding teachers are those who establish rapport and enter into the student's world and thereby facilitate the student's transition to a better understanding of the subject or skill. They get along well with their students and good relationships make learning easier.

In NLP this is called joining and leading. Affiliation is changing your own behavior so that another person will follow you. Leading will not work without rapport. You can't get someone across a bridge without first building it. When I told my friend that I was writing a book on neuro-linguistic programming, I didn't join him, so I couldn't lead him to explain what I was writing about.

Keeping your own behavior the same and waiting for other people to join in and understand you is one choice. Sometimes it brings good results, sometimes not. By holding your own behavior constant, you will get a wide variety of results, but not all of them will be attractive. If you are willing to change your behavior according to your intended outcome, you are close to becoming more successful. We join constantly to adapt to various social situations, to reassure others and to feel calm ourselves. We are joining To other cultures, respecting other people's traditions. If you want to stay in a first-class hotel, then you wear a tie. You don't swear in front of a priest. You show up to your interview dressed decently if you're serious about getting the job.

Affiliation is a general rapport-building skill that we use when discussing common interests, friends, work, and hobbies. We connect with the emotions. When a loved one is sad, we use a sympathetic tone of voice and mannerisms rather than shouting cheerfully, “Cheer up!” This may worsen his mood. You wanted the best, i.e. you had positive intentions but it didn't work out. A better option would be to mirror first, adjust to the posture, and use a soft tone of voice that matches what he is feeling. And then gradually change and move to a more positive and resourceful position. If the bridge is built, the other person will follow you.

He will unconsciously perceive that you respect his condition and will want to follow you if that is the path he wants to take. This kind of emotional connection and leading is powerful tool in counseling and therapy.

When talking to an angry person, match their anger to a level slightly below their level. If you go too far, there is a danger of aggravation. Once you have adjusted, you can begin to guide him gradually down to a calmer state, gradually calming your own behavior. To someone who insists on something, you can join and adjust with your voice, speaking a little louder and faster than usual.

You build rapport by taking into account what people say. You don't have to agree to this. One very good way adjusting is to eliminate the word “but” from your vocabulary. Replace it with the conjunction "and". “But” can be a destructive word, it implies that you hear what is being said... but... have a number of objections that do not take it into account. "I" is harmless. It simply adds and expands on what has already been said. Words carry enormous power. No matter how difficult it is, take this into account, then you can really strengthen your rapport

People from the same culture are likely to have common values ​​and general view to the world. Common interests, work, friends, hobbies, likes and dislikes, political beliefs will create some rapport. We naturally get along with people who share our values ​​and beliefs.

Joining and leading is the core idea of ​​NLP. It involves rapport and respect for the other person's model of the world. It assumes positive intentions and is a powerful tool for moving toward agreement or a shared outcome. To join and lead successfully, you need to pay close attention to the other person and be flexible enough in your own behavior and reactions. NLP is the art of communication: graceful, enjoyable and highly effective.

Chapter2

DOORS OF PERCEPTION

If the closed cycle of communication has any beginning, then this beginning is our senses. As Aldous Huxley emphasized, the doors of perception are our senses: our eyes, nose, ears, mouth and skin are our only point of contact with the outside world.

But even these points of contact are not quite what we think. Take, for example, your eyes - your “windows to the world.” In fact, these are not “windows” or even a camera. Have you ever wondered why the camera can never capture the essence of the visual image you see? The eyes are a much more sophisticated instrument than the camera. Individual receptors, the rods and cones of the retina, respond not to light itself, but to changes and differences in light.

Here's a fairly simple task: looking at one of these words. If your eyes and paper were completely still, the word would disappear as soon as each stick responded to the initial black or white stimulus. To continue sending information about the shape of the letters, the eyes shake very quickly so that the rods at the border of white and black continue to receive stimuli. Thus, we continue to see letters. The image is projected upside down on the retina, encoded as electrical impulses from the rods and cones, and carried along the nerves to the visual cortex. The final picture is projected externally, but created deep within the brain.

So what we see goes through a complex series of active perceptual filters. The same is true for other channels of perception. The world that we perceive is not the Real World, it is not the real territory. This is a map drawn up by our neurology. What we pay attention to on this map is further filtered through our beliefs, interests and preferences.

We can learn to let our senses serve us better. The ability to notice more and make finer distinctions in all channels of perception can greatly enrich our lives and is important skill in many areas of activity. A wine taster needs a very refined taste; a musician needs the ability to make subtle auditory distinctions. A stonecutter or woodcarver must feel his material in order to free the figures from the captivity of wood or stone. The artist must be sensitive to the nuances of color and form.

Training these abilities is not about seeing more than others, but about knowing what to look at, about developing the ability to perceive the differences that create differences. The development of physical channels of perception - sensory acuity - is the goal of NLP training.

REPRESENTATIVE SYSTEMS

Communication begins with our thoughts, and we use words, tone of voice and body language to convey them to the other person. What are our thoughts? There are many different scientific answers, yet each of us is very familiar with what our own thinking represents. One useful way to think about thinking is to think of us as using our senses. internal way.

When we think about what we see, hear and feel, we recreate those sights, sounds and sensations within ourselves. We re-experience information in the sensory form in which we originally perceived it. Sometimes we are aware that we are doing this, sometimes we are not. For example, can you remember where you went in your last vacation?

So how did you remember it? Maybe a picture of that place popped into your head? Perhaps you said the name or heard the sounds that accompanied the rest. Or maybe you replayed your feelings. Thinking is such an obvious and banal action that we never think about it. We prefer to think about what we think rather than how we think. We also assume that other people think the same way we do.

One way we think is by consciously or unconsciously reproducing the sights, sounds, sensations, tastes and smells that we have experienced. Through language we can even create a variety of sensory experiences without actually experiencing them. Read the following paragraph as slowly as you can comfortably do.

Think for a moment about a walk in a pine forest. Trees tower above you, surrounding you on all sides. You see the colors of the forest around you, and the sun, breaking through the leaves of trees and bushes, casts shadows and creates a mosaic on the grass. You pass through a ray of sunshine breaking through the cool canopy of leaves above your head. And, moving further, you begin to become aware of the silence, broken only by the singing of birds and the crunching under your feet when you step on dry branches, the rustle of your feet stepping on the soft carpet of the forest. From time to time there is a sharp crack as you accidentally break a dry branch that falls under your feet. You reach out and touch the tree trunk, feeling the roughness of the bark under your palm. Gradually you become aware of the gentle breeze caressing your face and notice the fragrant scent of pine resin wafting through the other, rougher scents of the forest. As you continue your walk, you remember that dinner will be ready soon, and it will be one of your favorite dishes. And you can almost taste the food in your mouth in anticipation.

To make sense of this last paragraph, you have gone through all of these experiences in your head, using your senses in an internal way to represent the given experiences that were conjured up in your imagination through words. Perhaps you created this scene clearly enough to imagine the smell of the forest in an already imagined situation. If you have ever walked in a pine forest, you probably remember the special experiences associated with this walk. If this has never happened to you, then you probably constructed this experience from other similar experiences or used materials from television programs, films, books, or other sources. Your experience was a combination of memory and imagination. Much of our thinking is usually a mixture of such memories and constructed sensory impressions.

We use the same neurological pathways to internally represent experience and to directly experience it. The same neurons generate electrochemical charges that can be intentional. Thought has direct physical manifestations; the brain and body are one system. Imagine for a moment that you are eating your favorite fruit. The fruit may be imaginary, but the salivation is not.

We use our senses externally to perceive the world and internally to “represent” experiences to ourselves. In NLP, the pathways through which we receive, store and encode information in our brains - pictures, sounds, sensations, smells and tastes - are known as representational systems.

The visual system, often denoted by the letter V., can be used in an external way (e, from English external), when we look at the external world (Be), or in an internal way (i, from English internal), when we visualize (Bi). Similarly, the auditory system (A) can be divided into listening to external sounds (Ae) or internal sounds (Ai). Sensations are referred to as the kinesthetic system (K). External kinesthetics (Ke) includes tactile sensations: touch, temperature, humidity. Internal kinesthetics (Ki) includes recalled feelings, emotions and internal sensations of balance and awareness of the body, known as proprioceptive sensations, which tell us how we move. Without them, we would not be able to control the position of our body in space with our eyes closed.

The visual, auditory, and kinesthetic systems are the primary representational systems used in Western culture. The senses of taste, the gustatory system (Bk), and smell, the olfactory system (O), are not as important and are often included in the kinesthetic system. They often serve as powerful and very fast connections to the pictures, sounds and sensations associated with them. Representational Systems

We use all three primary representational systems all the time, although we are not equally aware of them. and we tend to favor some over others. For example, many people have an inner voice that arises in the auditory system and creates internal dialogue. They list arguments, re-listen to speeches, prepare remarks, and generally discuss things with themselves. However, this is just one way of thinking.

Representational systems are not mutually exclusive. It is possible to visualize a scene, have sensations associated with it, and hear sounds at the same time, although it may be difficult to pay attention to all three systems at the same time. Some part of the thought process will still remain unconscious.

The more a person is absorbed in his inner world of sights, sounds and sensations, the less he will know about what is happening around him, like that famous chess player in an international tournament who became so deep in the position that he saw with his inner eye that, ate two full meals in one evening. He completely forgot what he ate the first time. "Lost in thought" is a very apt description. People who experience strong internal emotions also appear to be less sensitive to external pain.

Our behavior arises from a mixture of internal and external sensory experiences. At any given time, our attention is focused on different parts of our experience. While you are reading this book, you are fixating your attention on the page of text and are probably not aware of the sensation in your left leg... until I mention it...

As I type this, I am mostly aware of my internal dialogue adjusting to my (very slow) computer typing speed. I will be distracted if I pay attention to external sounds. Not being very skilled at typing, I look at the keys and feel them under my fingers, so my visual and kinesthetic channels are used externally. This changes if I stop to visualize the scene I want to describe. There are few danger signals that would immediately grab my attention: sudden pain, my name spoken out loud, the smell of smoke, or the smell of food (if I'm hungry).

PREFERRED REPRESENTATION SYSTEMS

We constantly use all of our external channels of perception, although we pay attention to one channel more than others depending on what we are doing. IN art gallery We will mostly use our eyes, at the concert we will use our ears. And what's surprising is that when we think, we tend to favor one, maybe two, representational systems regardless of what we're thinking about. We are capable of using all systems, but by the age of 11 or 12 we already have clear preferences.

Many people can create clear mental images and think mainly in pictures. Others find this point of view difficult. They may talk to themselves for a long time, while others base their actions largely on how they feel about the situation. When a person tends to traditionally use one internal channel of perception, then this channel is called in NLP his preferred or primary system. He is probably more perceptive and able to make finer distinctions in this system than in others. This means that some people are naturally more "talented" at certain tasks and skills. they have learned and become more adept at using one or two internal channels of perception. Sometimes a particular representational system is not as well developed, and this makes learning certain skills more difficult. For example, music is a difficult art if one does not have the ability to hear sounds clearly.

Neither system is absolutely preferable, it all depends on what you want to do. Athletes need well-developed kinesthetic awareness; It is difficult to become a good architect without the ability to create clear constructed mental pictures. The skill that all geniuses have in common is that they move freely from one representational system to another and use the most appropriate one for the problem at hand.

Different branches of psychotherapy tend to favor different representational systems. Body-oriented therapy is initially kinesthetic, psychoanalysis is predominantly verbal and auditory. Art therapy and Jungian symbolism are examples of therapies based more on the visual representational system.

LANGUAGE AND REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS

We use language to communicate our thoughts to others, so it is not surprising that the words we use reflect the way we think. John Grinder talks about the time he and Richard Bandler lived in country house and led groups in Gestalt therapy. Richard was made to laugh by one man who said: "I see What you speak"

Think about it literally,” Richard said. - What does it mean?

“Okay,” John replied. - Let's take this literally. Let's say this means that this person creates images from the meaning of the words that you pronounce.

It was interesting idea. When they came to the group, "they immediately tried a completely new procedure. They took green, yellow and red cards and went around all the people in the group, asking them for what purpose they came here. Those people who used a lot of words and expressions, those describing sensations received yellow cards. Those who used many words and phrases describing hearing and sounds received green cards. Those in the group who used words and phrases primarily related to vision received red cards.

A very simple exercise followed. People with matching color cards had to sit down and talk to each other for five minutes. Then they changed seats and talked to someone with a card of a different color. The differences they observed in communication between people were surprising. People with the same color cards established significantly better rapport. Grinder and Bandler thought it was fascinating and thought-provoking.

PREDICATES

We use words to describe our thoughts like this Thus, our choice of words will show which one We use a representational system. Imagine to myself three people who read the same book.

The first one can note how much he SAW in this book, how well the examples are chosen to ILLUSTRATE the subject, and that it is written with brilliance.

Others may not like the TONE of the book, its EDGE style. He actually couldn't Tune in to the ideas author and would like to TALK to him about it.

The third will feel that the subject is dealt with in a very WEIGHTED manner. He is impressed by the manner in which the author HAS touched on all the key points, and he will easily GRAB everything. new ideas. He FEELS sympathy towards the author.

They were all reading the same book. You will notice that each of them expresses their attitude towards the book different ways. Regardless of what they think about the book, what sets them apart is How they think about her. The first one thinks pictures, second sounds, third sensations. These sensory-specific words: adjectives, adverbs and verbs are called in the NLP literature predicates. Habitual use of one kind of predicate will indicate a person's preferred representational system.

You can find the preferred system of the author of any book by paying attention to the language he uses. (The exception is books on NLP, in which the authors may take a more calculated approach to the words they use.) Classic literature always contains a rich and varied set of predicates, using all representational systems equally.

Words such as “understand”, “explain”, “think”, “process”. are not sensory-specific and, therefore, turn out to be neutral in relation to representational systems. In scientific works, authors give preference to neutral rather than sensory-specific words, probably unconsciously realizing that sensory-specific words turn out to be more personal in relation to the author and reader and, therefore, less “objective”. However, neutral words will be translated by the reader in a variety of ways (kinesthetic, auditory and visual) and will give rise to many academic debates, often over the meaning of these words. Everyone will be sure that he is right.

You might want to know for the future what kind of words you prefer in normal conversations. It can be amazing to listen to others and discover what sensory-specific language they prefer to use. Those of you who prefer to think in pictures may enjoy discovering patterns of colorful language in the people around you. If you think kinesthetically, you will be able to grasp the way people achieve success, and if you think verbally, we would ask you to listen carefully and tune in to the way different people speak.

Establishing rapport has important applications. The secret of good communication is not so much what do you say as much in the way you say it. To create rapport, adapt to the other person's predicates. You will speak his language and present ideas to him exactly the way he thinks about them. Success will depend, firstly, on your sensory acuity and ability to see, hear or grasp the linguistic patterns of other people. And secondly, whether you have a sufficient vocabulary in each representational system to respond adequately. Of course, not all conversations will take place on the same system, but tuning into the language is extremely important for rapport.

You're more likely to develop rapport with someone who thinks the same way you do, and you'll discover this by listening to the words your partner uses, whether you agree with them or not. Perhaps you will tune in to the same wavelength or look into each other's eyes, reaching a stable understanding.

When addressing a group of people, use a variety of predicates. Give visual learners the opportunity to see what you are saying. Let auditory thinkers hear you loud and clear, build a bridge to those kinesthetic thinkers in the audience who can grasp the meaning of your speech. Otherwise, why would they listen to you? If you limit your explanation to just one representational system, you risk that two-thirds of the audience will not follow you.

LEADING SYSTEM

Just as we have a preferred representational system for our conscious thoughts, we have preferred means for introducing information into our conscious thoughts. A perfect memory would contain the full set of sights, sounds, sensations, smells and tastes of the original experience, but we prefer to refer to only one part of the set to reconstruct the experience. Think back to your vacation.

What was the first memory that arose? Picture, sound or feeling?

This is the master system: the internal channel that we use as a memory access key. This is how information reaches the level of awareness by the mind. For example, I might remember a vacation and start by being aware of the feelings of relaxation that I experienced, but the way those memories entered the brain in the first place might be pictures. In this case, my dominant system is visual, and my preferred system is kinesthetic. The host system is similar to a computer's startup program - an invisible program, but necessary for the operation of the computer as a whole. It is sometimes called the input system because it supplies the materials for conscious deliberation. Most people have a preferred input system, but it doesn't have to be the same as their primary system. One and the same person can have different leading systems for different types of experiences. For example, he may use pictures to get in touch with a painful experience and sounds to restore a pleasant experience.

Sometimes a person may be unable to imagine one of the representative councils in consciousness. For example, some people say that they do not see any inner pictures. Although this is true for them, it is actually impossible, otherwise they would not be able to recognize people or describe any objects. They simply are not aware of the pictures that they see with their inner vision. If this unconscious system generates painful images, the person may feel bad without understanding why. A person who is not aware of the kinesthetic system will experience anxiety when in touch with his sensations. These feelings can surface in other ways, often in the form of illness.

SYNAESTHESIA, SUPPLIANCE AND TRANSLATION

The richness and scope of our thoughts depends on our ability to make connections and move from one way of thinking to another. Thus, if my dominant system is auditory and my preferred system is visual, I will primarily remember a person by the sound of their voice and then think of them in pictures. This is exactly how I get feelings about this person.

So, we receive information in one channel of perception, but we represent it within ourselves in another channel. Sounds can conjure up visual memories or abstract visual images. We talk about the color tonality of music, about warm sounds, about flashy colors. The simultaneous and unconscious connection between channels of perception is called synesthesia. How a person enters his preferred representative system, often turns out to be his most consistent typical pattern of synesthesia.

Synesthesia is an important part of the way we think, and some of them are so ingrained and widespread that they seem to have been woven into our brains since birth. For example, colors are often associated with mood: red with anger, blue with calm. In fact, both blood pressure and heart rate increase slightly in a predominantly red environment, and decrease slightly in a predominantly blue environment. There are studies that have shown that people perceive blue rooms as cooler than yellow ones, even if they are actually slightly warmer. Music makes extensive use of synesthesia: the visually perceived height of a note on a stave is related to how high it sounds. In addition, some composers associated certain musical sounds with certain colors.

Synesthesia occurs automatically. Sometimes we have a desire to deliberately establish connections between internal channels of perception, for example, in order to gain access to a representative system that we are not aware of.

Let's say a person has difficulty visualizing. First you can ask him to return to a happy, pleasant experience, perhaps to times spent by the sea. Invite him to hear the sound of the sea within himself, as well as the sound of any conversation that may have occurred then. As he continues to listen to these sounds, he can switch to the sensations of the gentle breeze blowing across his face, the sun warming his shoulders, and the sand gathering between his toes. From here it is already half a step to seeing the image of sand under your feet or seeing the sun in the sky. This overlay technique can restore the entire memory: pictures, sounds and sensations.

Just as translation from one language to another retains the meaning but completely changes the form, in the same way an experience can be translated from one internal channel to another. For example, you may see an uncleaned room. experience discomfort and want to do something about it. The sight of the same room may not affect your friend at all, and he will not be able to understand why you are so upset. He may think that you are too sensitive because he cannot enter into the world of your experiences. He could understand your feelings. if you explained to him that it would be like finding cookie crumbs in your bed. Shifting to the language of sounds, you could compare this to the discomfort of listening to an out-of-tune musical instrument. This analogy will touch a sensitive chord in any musician, at least you will be speaking their language.

EYE ACCESS SIGNALS

It is easy to detect when a person thinks in pictures, sounds or sensations. There are visible changes that occur in our body when we think in different ways. The way we think affects our body, and the way we use our body affects the way we think.

What's the first thing that catches your eye when you open the front door of your home?

To answer this question, you probably looked up and to your left. This is exactly how most right-handed people remember visual images when looking up and to the left.

Now imagine how you would feel if corduroy fabric touched your skin?

By now you've probably looked down and to the right, which is most people's way of accessing their senses.

We systematically move our eyes in different directions depending on how we think. Neurological studies have shown that horizontal and vertical eye movements are associated with activation of different parts of the brain. These movements are called lateral eye movements(Lie) in the neuroscience literature. In NLP they are called ocular access signals, because they are visual cues that allow us to understand how people access information. There is a certain intercom between eye movements and representational systems, since the same patterns appear to be common throughout the world (with the exception of the Basque region of Spain).

When we visualize something from our past experience, our eyes tend to move up and to the left of us. When constructing a picture from words or when we are trying to “imagine” something that we have never seen before, our eyes move up and to the right. The eyes move horizontally to the left when you recall sounds and horizontally to the right when constructing sounds. When accessing sensations, it is typical to move the eyes down and to the right. When you talk to yourself, your eyes are most often on the lower left. A defocused gaze straight ahead, when the interlocutor looks at you and does not see you, also speaks of visualization.

Most right-handers have eye movement patterns similar to those shown in the diagram. They can be reversed for left-handers, who may look to the right to recall images or sounds and to the left to construct them. Ocular access signals are stable for one person. Sometimes they will look down to the left, feeling, and down to the right, listening to internal dialogue. There are always exceptions - be careful when applying these general rules to people. Look for the answer not in a generalization, but in the person who is in front of you.

Although you can consciously move your eyes in any direction while thinking, accessing a particular representational system is generally much easier if you use appropriate natural eye movements. They are tools for fine-tuning your brain to a specific representational system. If you want to remember what you saw yesterday, it is easiest to look up to the left or fix your gaze straight ahead. It is difficult to remember images when looking down.

We are usually not aware of our lateral eye movements, and there is no reason why we should do so, but to “look out” for information in right place- This is a useful skill.

Access cues allow us to learn how another person thinks, and an important part of NLP training is observing people's ocular access cues. One way to do this is to ask questions and watch the eye movements rather than the answers. For example, if I ask. “What color is the covering on your sofa?” – then you will have to visualize this coating to give an answer, regardless of what color it actually is.

You can do the following exercise with your friend. Sit in a quiet place, ask a friend next questions and watch for his ocular access cues. Tag them if you like. Ask him to keep his answers short or to simply nod when he has an answer ready. When you are finished, switch places and answer the questions yourself. You don't need to do anything special to try to fix the direction of eye movement, you just need to show a little curiosity about what How we are thinking.

Questions that necessarily involve visual recall in order to obtain an answer:

What color is your front door? What do you see when you take a walk to the nearest store?

How are the stripes located on a tiger's body? How many floors are there in the house you live in? Which of your friends has the most long hair?

The next group of questions will require visual construction to answer:

What would your bedroom look like with speckled pink wallpaper?

If the map is turned over, in what direction is southeast?

Imagine a purple triangle inside a red square.

How would you spell your Christian name, starting with the end?

To access an auditory memory, you could ask:

Can you hear your favorite piece of music inside of you?

Which door in your house squeaks the loudest? What does the busy signal sound like on your phone? Is the third note in the national anthem higher or lower than the second? Can you hear choral singing inside yourself?

Questions for auditory construction: How loud will it be if ten people shout at the same time?

What sound will the piano make when it falls from the tenth floor? What will the mandrake's cry sound like?

What would a chainsaw sound like in a corrugated iron shed?

Questions for internal dialogue: In what tone do you speak to yourself? Read nursery rhyme About myself. When you talk to yourself, where does your voice come from? What do you tell yourself when things go wrong?

Questions for the kinesthetic channel of perception (including smell and taste):

How would it feel to put on wet socks? What is it like to put your feet in a cold pool?

How would you feel if you pulled a wool sweater over your naked body?

Which hand is warmer now - the right or the left? How nice would it be for you to sit in the bathroom with warm water?

How do you feel after a delicious lunch? Remember the smell of ammonia.

How do you feel after taking a spoonful of over-salted soup?

The thought process is what matters, not the answer itself. There is no need to receive a verbal answer. Some questions can be thought about in different ways. For example, to count the number of notches on the edge of a 50-cent coin, you can mentally see the coin and count the notches, or, another way, you can count them by mentally touching the edges of the coin. So, if you asked a question that should trigger visualization, but the access signals tell a different story, then this is a sign of flexibility and creativity of the person. This does not necessarily mean that the access signal patterns are incorrect or that this person"wrong" If in doubt, ask. "What did you think?"

The eye movements happen very quickly and you have to be observant to see them. They will show the sequence of representational systems that a person uses to answer a question. For example, when answering an auditory question about the loudest creaking door, a person might visualize each door, mentally feel himself opening it, and then hear the sound. He may have to do this several times before he gives an answer. Often a person will turn to their master system first to answer a question. Someone whose primary system is visual will usually create pictures of various situations when answering auditory and kinesthetic questions before hearing sounds or recalling sensations.

OTHER ACCESS SIGNALS

Eye movements are not the only access signals, although they are probably the easiest to notice. Since the body and brain are inseparable, the way of thinking always shows up in something, and you will see it if you know where to look. This is particularly evident in breathing patterns, skin color and posture.

Man thinking visual images, will usually speak faster and in a higher pitch than someone who thinks differently. Images come into your head quickly, and you have to speak quickly to keep up with them. Breathing will be upper and more shallow. Often observed increased voltage muscles, particularly in the shoulders, the head is raised high, and the face is paler than usual.

Those people who think in sounds breathe deeply. Small rhythmic movements of the body occur frequently, and the tone of the voice is clear, expressive, and resonant. The head balances on the shoulders or is slightly tilted towards one of them, as if listening to something.

People who talk to themselves will often tilt their head to one side, propping it up with their hand or fist. This position is known as the "telephone pose" because it looks as if the person is talking on an invisible telephone. Some people repeat what they just heard, in time with their breathing, you can see their lips moving.

The kinesthetic approach is characterized by deep, low breathing in the abdominal area, often accompanied by muscular relaxation. A low head position is associated with a low-pitched voice, and the person will speak slowly, with long pauses. "The Thinker" - Rodin's sculpture - undoubtedly thinks kinesthetically.

Movements and gestures will also tell you about how a person thinks. Many people will point to a sense organ that they use internally, they will point to their ears when listening to sounds within themselves, they will point to their eyes when visualizing, or to their stomach if they are experiencing strong sensations. These signs will tell you not what a person is thinking, but how he is doing it. It is body language in a more refined and subtle form than is usually interpreted.

The ideas of representational systems are a very useful way of understanding how various people think, and reading access signals is an invaluable skill for those who want to improve their ability to communicate with others. This is important for therapists and teachers. The therapist can begin to understand how their clients think and discover ways they could change it. A teacher can determine which ways of thinking work best in different situations and teach those successful ways.

There are many theories about psychological types based on physiology and ways of thinking. NLP offers another possibility. Habitual ways of thinking leave their mark on the body. These are characteristic poses. Gestures and breathing patterns become familiar to a person who thinks primarily in one way. In other words, a person who speaks quickly, in a high-pitched voice, has fairly rapid and high-pitched breathing, and tension in the shoulder girdle is probably a person who thinks primarily in pictures. A person who speaks slowly, in a low voice, accompanying his speech deep breathing seems to rely heavily on his feelings.

Conversations between a visual thinker and a sensory thinker can be challenging for both parties. A visual thinker will be impatiently shuffling his feet, while a kinesthetic thinker will literally “not be able to see” why he has to walk so fast. Anyone who can adapt to another person's way of thinking will receive top scores. However, remember that all these generalizations must be verified by observation and experiment. I emphasize that NLP is not another way of labeling people and dividing them into types. Saying that someone is a visual type is no more useful than saying that they have red hair. If these generalizations blind you and prevent you from understanding the essence, then you are busy creating stereotypes.

You may be significantly tempted to categorize yourself and other people in terms of primary representational systems. To make such a mistake is to fall into a trap. traditional psychology: come up with a set of categories and then force people into those categories regardless of whether they fit or not. Real people are always richer than the generalizations made about their behavior. NLP offers a rich enough set of models to create a description of what people actually do, rather than fitting them into stereotypes.

SUBMODALITIES

We talked about three main ways of thinking: with sounds, pictures and sensations - but this is only the first step. If you want to describe a picture you saw before, then there are a lot of details that you could clarify. Was it in color or black and white? Is this a film or a slide? Is she far or close? These kinds of distinctions can be made regardless of what is shown in the picture. Similarly, you might describe a sound as high or low, near or far, loud or soft. The sensations can be strong or weak, heavy or light, dull or sharp. So, having determined the general direction of our thoughts, in the next step we will achieve significantly greater accuracy within this system.

Take a comfortable position and remember a pleasant incident from your life. Explore any picture that appears in this memory. Do you see it as if with your own eyes (associated), or do you see it as if you were somewhere else (dissociated)? If you see yourself in a picture, you must be dissociated. Is it colored? Is this a film or a slide? Is it a three-dimensional image or is it flat, like a photograph? By continuing to look at this picture, you can also complete its description.

Finally, notice any sensations or feelings that are part of this memory. Where do these sensations appear? Is it hard or soft? Light or heavy? Hot or cold?

These distinctions are called submodalities in the NLP literature. If representational systems are modalities - ways of perceiving the world - then submodalities are the bricks from which these perceptions are built, what pictures, sounds and sensations are made of.

People have used NLP ideas throughout history. NLP did not originate when the name was invented for it. The ancient Greeks talked about sensory experience, and Aristotle spoke about submodalities, calling them differently when referring to the qualities of these feelings.

Below is a list of the most commonly encountered submodalities.

VISUAL

Associated (I see with my own eyes) or dissociated (I see myself from the outside). Color or black and white. Framed or unframed. Depth (two- or three-dimensional). Location (left or right, top or bottom). The distance from me to the picture. Brightness. Contrast. Sharpness (blurred or in focus). Movement (film or slide). Speed ​​(faster or slower than usual). Quantity (single scene or many images). Size.

AUDIO

Stereo or mono. Words or sounds. Volume (loud or quiet). Tone (soft or hard). Timbre (fullness of sounds). Location of the sound source. Distance to source. Duration. Continuity or discreteness. Speed ​​(faster or slower than usual). Purity (clean or muted).

KINESTHETIC

Localization. Intensity.

Pressure (strong or weak). Degree (how large). Texture (rough or smooth). Heaviness (light or heavy). Temperature. Duration (how long it lasts). Form.

This is far from full list the most common submodal distinctions that people make. Some submodalities are continuous or discrete; like a switch, turned on or off, experience can take one form or the other. For example, a picture cannot be associated and dissociated at the same time. Most submodalities change gradually, as if they were controlled by a rheostat. They form something of a sliding scale, such as sharpness, brightness or volume. Analog is a word used to describe those qualities that can change gradually within their boundaries.

Many of these submodalities are hidden in the phrases we use, and if you look at the list at the end of this paragraph, you may see them in a new light or they will affect you differently because they speak volumes about how our brain. Submodalities can be considered the most fundamental operating code of the human brain. It is simply impossible to think about something or reconstruct any experience without it having a submodal structure. At the same time, it is easy to be unaware of the submodal structure of experience. Until you pay conscious attention to it.

Most interesting property submodalities is what happens when you change them. Some of them can be changed with impunity and do not make a difference. Others may be critical of particular memories, and changing them completely changes how we view the experience. Usually the impact and meaning of a memory or thought in to a greater extent is a function of a small number of critical submodalities rather than content.

Once an event has happened, it is over and we can never go back and change it. After this, we no longer react to the event itself, but to our memory of this event, which can be changed

Try the following experiment. Remembering some pleasant event. Make sure that you are associated with the picture and see it with your own eyes. Pay attention to how you feel. Now dissociate. Get out of your body and look from the outside at a person very similar to you, who sees and hears what you saw and heard then. This will almost certainly change the way you view the event. Dissociation from a memory robs it of its emotional power. A pleasant memory loses its charm, and an unpleasant memory loses its pain. In the future, when your imagination paints a painful scene for you, dissociate from it. To enjoy pleasant memories, make sure you are associated. You can change the way you think. This is an important point in the unwritten manual for using the brain.

Try the following experiment to change the way you think and determine which submodalities are critical for you.

Think back to a particular emotionally charged situation that you can remember well. First, become aware of the visual part of the memory, imagine that you are turning the brightness control of the image, increasing and decreasing the brightness. Notice how this changes your experience. Which brightness is more preferable for you? At the end return the brightness to its original state.

Now, if it was in color, make it black and white. If it was black and white, add color to it. Evaluate the changes, which ones are better? Return to the starting position

Finally, try changing from associated to dissociated and back again.

Some, perhaps all, of the changes will have a profound effect on how you think about that memory. You may want to leave a memory with the submodality values ​​that you like best; you may not be happy with the submodalities that the brain provided you without your knowledge. Did you remember to choose them yourself?

For now, continue your experiment with other visual submodalities and observe what happens. Do the same with the auditory and kinesthetic parts of this memory.

For most people, an experience will be more intense and memorable if it is large, bright, colorful, close and associated. If this is the case for you, make sure you keep your good memories in exactly this way. On the contrary, make your own unpleasant memories small, dark, black and white, distant and dissociated. In both cases, the content of the memory remains unchanged, only what changes as we remember him. Bad things happen and have consequences that we have to live with, but they don't have to haunt us. Their power to make us feel bad Here and now, has an origin in the way we think about them. The essential distinction to be made is between an event that actually occurred and the meaning and impact that we give it in the way that we do. how we remember him.

Make it slow. Now increase its speed. Experiment with changing its tone. Which side does it sound from?

What happens if you move it to the other side?

What happens if you make it louder? Or quieter?

Talking to yourself can be turned into real pleasure.

Changing submodalities is a subject of subjective experience that is difficult to convey in words. Theory is controversial, experience is convincing. You can be the director of your own imaginary movie and you can decide for yourself how do you want to think rather than being at the mercy of representations that seem to arise of their own accord. Like TV in the summer, the brain shows a lot of repetitions, many of which are old and not very good movies. You don't need to watch them.

Emotions come from somewhere, although the reason for their appearance may not be recognized. But even though emotions themselves are kinesthetic representations and have weight, location and intensity, they have submodalities that can be changed. Feelings are not completely involuntary, and you can go a long way before you choose the feelings you want to have. Emotions can be wonderful servants and harsh teachers.

Representational systems, access keys, and submodalities are important building blocks of subjective experience. It is not surprising that people build various maps of the world around them. They have different dominant and preferred representational systems, different synesthesias, and encode their memories using different submodalities. When we finally use language to communicate with each other, it is simply amazing how we manage to understand each other.

EXAMPLES OF SENSORY DEFINED WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS

VISUAL

Look, picture, focus, imagination, insight. scene, blind. visualize, perspective, shine, reflect, clarify, examine, eye, focus. foresee, illusion, illustrate, notice, view, look, point of view, show, appear, announce, see, review, review, vision, spectacle. observe, unclear. dark.

AUDIO

speak, emphasize, rhyme, loud, tone, resonate, sound, monotonous, deaf, call, ask, stress, intelligible, hear, discussion, declare, make a remark, listen, ring, be silent, taciturn, vocal, sound, voice, speaks , silence, dissonance, consonant, harmonious, piercing, be quiet, dumb.

KINESTHETIC

Grab, hand, contact, push, rub, hard, warm, cold, rough, take, hand over, squeeze, strain, tangible, palpable, tension, hard, soft, tender, clamp, hold, touch, bear, heavy, smooth

NEUTRAL

Decide, think, remember, know, meditate, lower intend, realize, evaluate, decide, teach, motivate, change, conscious, relate.

OLfactory

fragrant, aromatic, smoky, stale, fresh, fragrant, stinking

TASTE

Sour, salty, sweet, tasty, juicy, aftertaste. bitter.

VISUAL EXPRESSIONS

I see what you mean. I'm looking closely at this idea. We look eye to eye. I have a vague idea. He has a blind spot. Show me what you mean. You will look at this and laugh. This will shed some light on the essence of the issue. He looks at life through rose-colored glasses. This cleared things up for me. Without a shadow of a doubt. Look skeptical. The future looks bright. A decision appeared before his eyes. A nice sight.

AUDIO EXPRESSIONS

At the same wavelength. Live in harmony.

Speak in gibberish. Let it fall on deaf ears. Ring the bell. Set the tone. Word by word. Unheard of. Clearly expressed. Grant an audience. Keep your mouth shut. Manner of speaking loudly and clearly.

KINESTHETIC EXPRESSIONS

Contacted you. I grabbed this idea.

Hold on for a second. I feel it in my liver. A man with a cold heart. Cold-blooded man. Thick-skinned. My hands are itching. Don't touch it with a finger. Didn't hit a finger. Solid foundation. Be fired up with desire. Missing stars from the sky. Smoothly adjust.

OLfactory and gustatory expressions

Smell a rat. It's a bitter pill. A taste for the good life. Sweet man. Sour mine.

Chapter 3

When people are in emotional and physical decline, we often say that they are in a "terrible state." Likewise, we realize that for... The state of our mind is constantly changing, and it is one of the few things... Try the following experiment: think about some a pleasant experience, a time when you really...

Chapter 4

“There is no person who would be like an Island, in itself, every person is part of the Continent, part of the Land: and if a Wave carries the coastal Cliff into the sea, ... John Donne

Chapter 5

“But “garden” doesn’t mean “nice, stunning little argument,” objected Alice. “When I personally use a word,” he said in the same contemptuous manner... “It’s still a question,” said Alice, “whether the words will want to obey you.

Chapter 6

Until now, our attention has been focused on the study of sensory sensitivity, the ability to keep your senses open and notice reactions... Look up from your book for a minute and think back to a time when you were immersed in... You probably had to think a lot to remember this. You turned inside yourself, to internal pictures,...

Chapter 7

We all live in the same world, but because we create different models of this world, we have conflicts. Two people can look at the same thing and... The most important components of our maps of reality are beliefs and... Different parts of us embody different values, pursue different interests, have different intentions and,...

Active – passive

A passive person waits for others to take action, or waits for an opportunity to start. He can spend a lot of time indecisive... An active person will quickly use complete sentences with personal... In speech passive person verbs will appear more often in passive voice and unfinished sentences. He's probably...

Approach - Evasion

It is easy to recognize this pattern from a person's language. Does he talk about what he wants, achieves or gains? Or he talks about those situations...

Internal reference – external reference

People with internal reference are difficult to manage. They can make good entrepreneurs, and they usually find their own jobs... People with external reference need to be led and controlled. Them…

Alternatives - recipes

You can identify this meta-program by asking, "Why did you choose this particular job?" An alternative person will explain to you the reasons... Alternative people respond to rationalization ideas that expand...

General – private

A “general” person, as you might have guessed, loves to generalize. He may skip steps in the sequence, thereby creating difficulties... "General" people are good at developing plans and strategies...

Similarities - differences

There is, of course, no correct answer to this question, since this connection includes both similarities and differences. This question highlights four possible responses. Some people who look for similarities... There will be people who notice similarities with exceptions. They will first see the similarities and then the differences. Looking at…

Patterns of the persuasion process

First, about the perception channel. Imagine a trading situation. What does a buyer need to do to make sure that a given product is worth... A visual person needs to see examples. The listener needs to talk to... The other side of this meta-program is how people most easily learn to do new...

Result frame

How does this result fit with others? Second, perhaps you should identify the results of each person involved in the situation,... Finally, keep the results in mind so that you can see whether you are moving... An outcome frame is an extremely useful lens through which to view your actions. If the manager doesn't...

Ecology frame

Again, this is something we dealt with explicitly when we discussed the results, and something we dealt with implicitly throughout the book. How do my actions fit into the broader system of family, friends, and professional interests? Are they an expression of my overall personality? Do they respect the integrity of the other people involved in the situation? Congruence is the way our subconscious mind communicates environmental messages to us and is a prerequisite for wise action.

Confirmation frame

The As If Frame This frame is a way of creative problem solving that involves... Another example of using this idea is to mentally fast forward six months or a year to your...

Meeting format

1. Determine your result and the confirmation that will let you know that you have achieved this result. 2. Determine the participants and agenda of the meeting. B) During the meeting:

Chapter 8

The first NLP models came out of psychotherapy. Although NLP is not limited to psychotherapy, historically John and Richard had access to... The common framework for all of these techniques is to use them wisely,... The work of any therapist helping others make changes in their lives has two essential ...

Chapter 9

John and Richard met and became friends at the University of California, Santa Cruz in 1972. John was an assistant professor of linguistics, and... He carefully studied the works of Fritz Perls and made several videos for... Bob Spitzer had an estate near Santa Cruz, and he sometimes rented it out to his friends. Then he lived in those places...

Epilogue

So far in this book, the main ideas of NLP have been described from a practical perspective. NLP was described according to the laws of logic and is difficult to describe consistently. Describing NLP logically is like trying to describe a hologram, pulling out piece by piece, because each piece of the hologram contains the entire image. Here we provide some final and theoretical reflections on NLP and, to a greater extent, the place it occupies in our culture.

Easy learning It is no longer enough, it is important to learn how to learn. There is so much to learn and so little time to do it. Not only are we gaining knowledge and technology more quickly, but the very speed of acquiring this knowledge is accelerating. We are embarking on an evolutionary journey, like riding a roller coaster. The beginning is slow and calm, but the further we move, the more the speed increases. And there hasn't been a single brake yet. Unfortunately, simply accumulating knowledge and technical know-how does not bring the wisdom we need to use this wealth to benefit the entire planet and everyone living on it. We are smart, but not yet wise.

Happening huge changes. Ninety percent of all scientific knowledge comes from the generation born at the beginning of this century. It witnessed how Science fiction his childhood turned into a scientific fact. Paradoxically, increasing knowledge makes us feel increasingly ignorant and powerless. The more knowledge becomes available, the more ignorant we become, because there is more we don't know, and the more we are forced to rely on experts to do the simplest things.

Science and technology, which have led to such a vast expansion of knowledge and our impact on the world, carry with them certain undesirable consequences, which we are only beginning to understand, are precisely what makes roller coaster rides so dangerous. Events flash so quickly that we are able to notice the direction of our movement only at the very beginning of the journey. We watch the destruction of Brazilian forests on TV, read in the newspapers about global warming all over the planet. Scientists can track the growth of holes in ozone layer. The question now is not whether the future will be different or even slightly different. The question is whether we will have it at all.

World V the present is too dangerous to be like Utopia. Buckminster Fuller

Looking around us, how many of us get satisfaction from what we see? Each of us is experiencing increasing pressure from change. And each of us is responsible for ensuring that this roller coaster of unstoppable technology and power does not spin out of control with terrible consequences for the entire planet. We must bring this under our control; we cannot fly out of the saddle. The question is how to do this?

It is the individual who is the source of creativity, which is the engine of social evolution, and it is the level of individualism in a society that creates the level of consciousness of this society.

Social change starts with individual changes. We face many social and environmental problems. If we want to build a society that can effectively deal with these challenges, we must act now. As time goes by and the amount of knowledge increases, two questions become more and more urgent: "What is Knowledge worth? What is Action worth?"

We have ruined the outside world with the products of science and technology. The attitude and view of the world that gave us this science and technology is deeply ingrained in our culture and has a profound impact on our inner world.

Science grew out of a series of controlled and reproducible experiments on nature designed to formulate mathematical laws and theories. Man no longer considers himself practically a part of nature. A human experimenter must stay away from nature, his guinea pig. And he does not even admit that his experiment itself changes the nature and influences the result, because this would mean abandoning the requirement of objectivity. Trying to get an objective result would mean that another experimenter would have to control the first. An insoluble vicious circle arises here, as if the artist was trying to paint the entire landscape, including himself. He will never be able to draw the artist who paints this picture.

We have come to interpret nature as a machine operating according to laws imposed on it from the outside, and not as a whole organism.

A machine must be predictable by nature. In theoretical science, all that needs to be done is to discover all the laws and discover all the interacting parts. So the search was aimed at painting a more and more complete picture of nature, and the artist himself was forgotten.

Knowledge was divorced from experience. It became something that we studied secondarily, and the abstract body of science began to exist separately from its human carrier and grew all the time. All that mattered was the end product, the theory, not the experience of getting it.

This way of objectifying knowledge strictly limits the kind of knowledge with which we can deal. Having gone to the extreme, emotions, art and relationships have been devalued because they rely on subjective experience. And it turns out that scientific laws are no longer connected with the real world of human experience.

Scientific theories are metaphorical stories about the world, they are not truth, they are simply one of many ways of thinking about the world, just as drawing is one of many ways of representing a landscape. We quickly discovered that the way we have thought about the world up to now has been helpful in some ways and disastrously harmful in others.

The metaphor of a predictable, objective world has been shaken quantum theory in physics. The deeper we penetrated in our research, the more obvious it became that the observer himself is an integral part scientific experiment. Light will behave either as particles or as waves depending on what kind of experiment you do. You will never be able to indicate exactly the location of the particle and the time of its appearance in this place. There is fundamental uncertainty in the world. Quantum physics has replaced mechanical model the world from the perspective of the dominant scientific metaphor.

New research and ideas from systems theory, and the study of chaos and order have shown that even in simple systems You won't be able to control all the variables; even small variations can change the system as a whole. This is the beginning of a revolution, it changes the whole system of views on nature.

Chaos is predictable randomness, summarized in the so-called Butterfly effect. It is named after a lecture given by American meteorologist Edward Lorenz entitled. "Could the flapping of a butterfly's wings in Brazil cause a tornado in Texas?" Lorenz used a computer model to track the weather. He was tired of typing long series of numbers and thought that nothing would happen if he rounded them up several orders of magnitude. How surprised he was to discover that this had completely changed the world's weather forecast! A small change in the right place can have huge consequences. This once again confirms that nature is an integral system and there is nothing separate from us that can be experimented with with impunity. As Gregory Bateson said in Steps into an Ecology of Mind: “The loss of systemic wisdom will inevitably result in punishment.”

This new scientific metaphor allows us to become part of nature again. In the same way, NLP as a metaphor restores our connection with our subjective experience and expresses the systemic nature of our internal experiences,

We now have an understanding of the complexity of the external world, and we know something about the influence that we, the invisible observers, have on the external world. The consequences of this, we think, are returned to us by the outside world. The universe is a perfect mechanism feedback. What we think is what we get. If we want to change the world, we must first change ourselves. We have a responsibility to explore and change our inner experience, if we are going to influence and shape the outer world with wisdom.

IN In terms of exploring the structure of subjective experience, NLP provides us with the opportunity to explore ourselves. Because it studies how we create models. It doesn't take the models we've built and mix them with reality.

As a way of building mastery, it permeates and influences many areas of human activity. When this process is completed, NLP will cease to exist as a separate discipline. The Eye will be assimilated into everyday life, like a teacher who ultimately makes himself redundant because his students can now learn for themselves.

NLP is becoming part of a movement that is steadily expanding and gaining strength. Movements to operate more effectively in the world, using the skills and knowledge we have with grace, wisdom and poise. The Balinese aphorism is very instructive in this sense: “We have no art, we simply make things as good as possible.”

We discover ourselves and our abilities to awaken to a beautiful and captivating world of never-ending wonder.

People travel to be amazed, to the tops of mountains, along huge waves of the sea, along long river beds, along wide expanses of the ocean, along long-term roads to the stars, but they pass by, leaving the amazing aside.

Investing in yourself

According to Peters Russell's wonderful book, The Waking Planet, the field of personal development grows and doubles approximately every... Each of us, at one time or another, finds ourselves drawn into... You are the best judge of which path to this moment is the most suitable for you. Whichever way you go, he...

Selection of NLP trainings

NLP courses are offered in large quantities and in a variety of forms: from two-day introductory courses to more advanced courses,... There are a number of courses narrowly focused on NLP applications in areas such as... Certification trainings are very important step. They usually include about 150 hours of classes, distributed...

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O'Connor Joseph & Seymour John

Introduction to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (The Newest Psychology of Personal Mastery)

Joseph O'Connor, John Seymour

Introduction to Neuro-Linguistic Programming

The latest psychology of personal mastery

PREFACE

Intelligent people adapt to the world around them. Unreasonable people adapt the world to themselves. This is why progress is determined by the actions of unreasonable people. George Bernard Shaw.

The historical event as presented by the chronicler has much in common with the speech of the seller of the latest miraculous remedies. diplomat or defender. Is not it?

The conversational traditions of people in cultures untouched by civilization, before the advent of orthography, contain both convenience and challenge: convenience in their orderliness and the immutable flow of events, and a challenge to the chronicler who bears witness to the chaos that must ultimately match the size and duration chronicles. But after a while. damned amnesia seizes the chronicler, and his story begins to sound completely confident.

Gregory Bateson warned us about the deadly triangle of technology, about the tendency of the human race to replace natural physical context (the forests of the Amazon) with artificial context (the streets of New York), and about conscious planning not balanced by subconscious processes. Tom Malloy (in his brilliant novella "The Curtain of Dawn") corrects Charles Darwin's slip that he spoke of "survival of the fittest" when he would have made less of a mistake if he had said "survival of the fittest."

The two authors, O'Connor and Seymour, intend to offer us a coherent story, devoid of wild adventures. The jungle through which Richard and I made our way in our explorations is bizarre and wonderful. These two wonderful and well-meaning people will show you something reminiscent of an English rose garden, well-kept and decent.Both the jungle and the rose garden have their own unique appeal.

Like a talented composer, some people are more gifted in life than others. They do have a significant impact on those around them, but that's about it, because there is no way to describe in technological terms what they do, since much of it is outside their awareness. Some day in the future, many, many years from now, when culture has been more fully explored, there will be some equivalent of musical notes that can be learned, separate for different types of men and women engaged in different activities and involved in different relationships, for every single time, place, work and play. Today we see people who are happy and who are pursued by luck, whose work is productive and rewarded now. What makes their lives different from those of their less fortunate contemporaries? We need to explore and apply this “toolkit” to make life a little less random and a little more enjoyable.

Edward Hall Silent Language

INTRODUCTION

This book is an introduction and guide to the land known as Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP for short. NLP is the art and science of excellence, the result of the study of how outstanding people in various fields achieved their outstanding results. These communication skills can be mastered by anyone who wants to improve their personal and professional effectiveness.

This book describes the various models of excellence that NLP has built in communication, business, education and therapy. Our approach is practical, it produces results and makes an impact in a wide variety of human endeavors.

NLP continues to grow and generate new ideas. We writers believe that, in contrast, books tend to be limited and static. Every book is a judgment true for the time in which it was written. This is a "photograph" of the item being described. And yet. there is no reason not to take a photograph today just because the person tomorrow will be different.

Think of this book as a bridge that allows you to explore new territory and continue the exciting journey of life. It represents the authors' understanding of NLP and does not claim to be the definitive or official version. This version will never appear - by the very nature of NLP. This is just an introduction, and we had a lot of choice as to what to include and what not to include. A semi-book is just one of many possible ways to organize this material.

NLP is a model of how individuals structure their unique life experiences. This is just one of many ways to understand and organize the fantastically complex and yet beautiful system of human thought and communication. We hope that our co-authorship has brought a certain depth to the book's description of NLP that would not have happened if the book had only one author. The depth effect occurs when a person focuses both eyes on an object. And the world becomes flat when he looks at it with one eye.

NLP represents a certain worldview and way of existing in this world, which cannot be presented in one book, but the concept of which can be obtained by reading between the lines. The pleasure of a beautiful piece of music comes from listening to the piece, not from reading the notes.

NLP is a practical thing. It is a set of models, skills and technologies for thinking and acting effectively in this world. The goal of NLP is to be helpful, expand your choices, and make life better. The most important questions about what you found in that book are: "Is it useful? Does it work?" Find what is useful and what works by experiencing it for yourself. What's even more important is to discover where it does NOT work and change it until it does. This is the spirit of NLP.

We were going to write a book that would be an overview of NLP. She would share our excitement in learning about how people think and the changes that are possible. It would include a number of the most useful skills, patterns and techniques and present them in a form ready to be used as a toolkit for change in this changing world. After the first reading, it would still be useful as a reference tool. It would offer practical guidance on acquiring other NLP books with different interests and suggestions. And she would provide recommendations on choosing NLP training courses.

This goal turned out to be so daunting, simply because of the "apparent obviousness" of NLP, that neither of us was ready to energetically take on its achievement. Pooling our resources gave us courage. How far we get towards our goal depends on how useful you find this book.

We would especially like to encourage you to explore further the field of NLP and to use these powerful ideas with honesty and respect for yourself and others to create new happy opportunities in your personal and professional life and in the lives of others.

We originally planned to include a chapter in the book with stories of how people discovered NLP and their personal experiences with NLP tools. But we soon decided that writing about someone else's experience would be more entertaining than directly impactful. On the contrary, in the spirit of NLP, we strongly encourage you to write about your experiences as an interested user of NLP.

It's better to experience NLP yourself. So read the menu and if you like what you read about, try the dish itself.

Photography has never been the person himself. The first step is not yet a journey. A musical note is not yet a sound. There is no magic, only magicians and human perception.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

We would like to express our gratitude to the many people who inspired and helped us in writing this book.

Introduction

“Before you receive something, don’t be lazy to give something first, and give it so that you want to take it... And if you don’t need anything from you yet, then do it so that it is...” Unknown author

"On high tower You can only climb by a spiral staircase." Francis Bacon.

The relevance of the chosen topic is undeniable, since the result of the seller’s activities should always be the sale of goods, and in this aspect, the sales consultant who carries out personal sales undoubtedly plays a huge role. After all, he not only communicates with the buyer, he is a means of promotion and the face of the company.

Definition of NLP

Definition 1. NLP is the art of modeling excellence (mastery).

This definition of NLP is given by its creators Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Answering questions from a correspondent of the Moscow NLP Center during his visit to St. Petersburg, John Grinder said: “NLP for me, as one of the people who created it, is the art of modeling excellence: identifying people who do something very well, finding out they have, how they do it, often using a huge amount of unconscious knowledge. And, in the end, create a clear representation of the experience, encoding it and writing a description; understand the difference between being able to do something perfectly and doing the same "In the most common way. This is the basis of NLP. Everything else is applications of NLP. Most people who think they are using NLP are actually only using NLP applications."

In other words, NLP was created with the goal of understanding how geniuses in any field differ from ordinary people. With the help of NLP tools, you can identify the essence, the core, the skeleton of success, successful thinking and teach other people to do the same.

Definition 2. NLP is a branch of psychology.

NLP is one of the ways to describe how a person reflects the objective world, how he builds his subjective picture of this world and successfully or not very successfully self-regulates his behavior on this basis. And if so, then, by definition, NLP is one of the areas of psychology. It, like other areas of psychology, has:

1) their founding fathers (John Grinder, Richard Bandler, Frank Pucelik);

3) your model of the world;

4) your success in using techniques in practice;

5) your evidence of the effectiveness of methods in psychotherapy, business, education, and personal growth;

6) your admirers and clients.

Definition 3. NLP is a science and an art.

Definition 4. NLP is a set of techniques and work methods.

In the NLP arsenal, there are many step-by-step techniques for working in business, psychotherapy, training, etc.

Definition 5. NLP is a way (tool) of perceiving the world.

Nothing is made up in NLP. Everything that is described in NLP is the result of observing and identifying what already exists. At trainings, many people say: “I did it. But only now I understand on a conscious level how I did it and can explain to others.” NLP describes how and what to look at in order to understand the structure of a person’s experience and how to summarize your observations and research results into an understandable sequence of actions in order to successfully repeat this experience. This is called mastery modeling.

Definition 6. NLP is a lifestyle, a system of understanding the world, which has a very powerful spiritual basis.

Methodology for using neurolinguistic programming in personal selling

The process of using neurolinguistic programming in personal selling includes the following steps:

Attachment or adjustment;

Calibration;

Establishing rapport;

Reframing;

Using various speech techniques in sales.

Now I will consider in detail each of these components of “success”. Dmitry Potapov’s book “NLP in Sales” served as support for me; all definitions are taken from this publication. Concerning psychological aspects(kinesics, psychosomatics), here I rather relied on Paul Ekman’s books “The Psychology of Influence” and “The Psychology of Lies” that I had previously read.

Attachment or adjustment

Adjustment in a broad sense is the ability to direct a person in the right direction, to lead, both verbally and non-verbally.

For a general idea of ​​the distribution of information load in communication, it is convenient to use the following ratio:

neuro-linguistic programming personal selling

The ratio of non-verbal and verbal information, like 5/6 and 1/6, is quite relative. Naturally, in different situations and for different people the ratios will be very different. As a rough guide, the verbal part usually takes up from 5% to 20% of the message. Differences will also concern types of nonverbal communication. For example, during a telephone conversation there will be virtually no “body language”, and most of the information will be transmitted using the voice.

Illustrations of extensions in communication

He started a sentence - you finished it. She paused - you responded with an expressive face. He took out a cigarette - you flicked the lighter.

Usually there are 3 classic adjustments:

Adjustment to posture and movements;

The adjustment can be direct (right - right) and mirror (right - left), when you simply “reflect” the person. In this case, the term “mirroring” is often used for the process of adjusting to pose and movement. If you are sitting or standing opposite, then a mirror one is more convenient, and if you are on the side, then a straight one.

When adjusting, you must try to ensure that the pose is quite natural and does not cause tension. Some try to copy everything one after another, forgetting that people are simply physically different from each other. And what will be quite natural for one will look very strange for another.

Breathing adjustment;

This technique is very important for achieving a state of rapport (also in next stages). You need to try to copy the pace and depth of the client's breathing as much as possible. This adjustment is the most difficult to train, but one of the most effective.

There are 3 types of breathing: clavicular breathing (this type of breathing is usually characteristic of people of miniature build - their inhalation brings a very small volume of air into the body. Clavicular breathing is usually very fast and sometimes intermittent); chest (the most common type of breathing. When inhaling, a person’s chest rises slightly. The breathing rate is measured); diaphragmatic (this type of breathing is typical for large people who take relatively few breaths. Each breath is very deep and sets the entire diaphragm in motion. This type of breathing is most typical for men).

I’ll give you a couple more key points that will allow you to quickly master this powerful psychotechnique.

* When selling over the telephone, having caught the rhythm of the interlocutor’s breathing, tap it with a pencil - this will make it easier for you to adjust. When selling in person, you can tap the rhythm with the toe of your shoe or your fingers.

* It is more effective to conduct a presentation at the end of the exhalation - the beginning of the consumer’s inhalation.

It is also very important for achieving rapport. It is difficult in the first stages to quickly and unnoticed by the client to adapt to the voice. Skill comes with practice. Remember such characteristics of the voice as tempo, timbre, volume, intonation and tuning will be easy, quick and simple!

Let me remind you that I am now considering the stages of the process of using the neurolinguistic programming apparatus in personal selling. Let's move on to the second stage.

Determination of the prevailing life attitudes;

It often happens that an experienced sales manager, who knows all the intricacies, features and characteristics of a product, cannot sell anything, and a beginner, who does not distinguish a vacuum cleaner from a kettle, “talks” clients one after another. The reason for this paradox is that managers are not aware of what exactly attracts the customer's attention during the purchase. Namely, WHAT, or HOW, does the sales manager say?

American psychologists claim that during communication the following model of division of attention takes place (Fig. 1).

Does this mean that we need to forget about all the technical characteristics of goods and start communicating with customers as with passers-by? Of course not! It just means that your sales will increase as soon as you add a little emotion to your proposals, presentations and press releases, which, coupled with tweaks, anchors, rapport and congruence, will give stunning results! I propose to consider the concept of congruence in more detail.

Congruence is an external manifestation of how harmonious a person is, how much his whole nature works synergistically to achieve a single goal. Speaking in simple language, congruence is a parameter showing how much WHAT you say corresponds to HOW you say it. And it is congruence that is one of the most important parameters when conducting communication, because the degree of trust of the buyer depends on how natural you are. In fact, success in selling depends on how well you adapt to your partner and how congruent you are - these two parameters are enough to begin to form a trusting relationship between you (even despite the fact that nothing has ever connected you before).

In the process of communication and during sales in particular, the state of a person is characterized by the term “resource”. In fact, “resource” is a complete description of the human condition. For example, now, as I write these lines, my resource is: “Completely focused on formulating thoughts and transferring them to paper. Desire to work productively while expressing your opinion.” As this example suggests, a person’s “resource” is usually much more complex than just the “yes” or “no” phrases that are key to accepting a seller’s offer. However, for simplicity, two key types of “resource” are usually distinguished: “resource state” (positive, open, ready for communication) and “non-resource state” (negative, closed).

Moving into the context of sales, let us characterize “resource” as a rather isolated concept. Our goal with you is to create a positive resource both for ourselves and for the person to whom we want to sell something.

So, there are two main resource states:

* status “Yes”;

* status “No”.

In the “Yes” state, the client easily agrees to the deal. It is natural that not all clients will come to us with the “Yes” resource, so in order to make a sale it is necessary to create this resource for them.

Every person in life has basic principles that he orients himself towards. His behavior (both verbal and non-verbal) is subject to these principles - it affects how he moves, talks, from what positions he evaluates events and thinks. These principles form a list of topics that he enjoys communicating about and the conditions to which he pays more attention. Knowledge of these topics helps to simplify the joining, adjustment and further formation of rapport and attraction, and also allows you to significantly simplify the sales mechanism as such.

There are six types of life attitudes: place, time, values, processes, things and people.

As can be seen from the model, attitudes form pairs of opposites, i.e. a person with a prevailing “people” attitude will not pay attention to “things,” etc. Let's take a closer look at the description of each installation.

* Place. The key question is: “Where?”

People with this attitude pay a lot of attention to where this or that event will take place. They will be happy to tell you about the place where they have been or where they are going. The environment around them is very important to them.

*Values. The key question is: “Why?”

For people of this type, it is very important to understand why they do something, what the global purpose of their existence is. When making decisions, the first question they ask themselves is: “What will this give me? »

* Things. The key question is: “What?”

People of this type pay attention to things. When they talk about something, they pay a lot of attention to the situation.

* Time. The key question is: “When?”

For people with this mindset, time is very important. It is important for them when the event happened / will happen, how long it will last, when it will end, and whether they have time for it.

* Processes. The key question is: “How?”

These types of people place great importance on how they will do things. They are primarily interested in the sequence of actions; their place in the chain of events.

* People. Key question: "Who?"

People with this attitude are characterized by increased attention to people. It is very important for them who they communicate with. Most of the questions they ask concern people in their social circle in some way.

As is the case with channels of perception, one person may have several prevailing life attitudes (favorite topics). For example, among digitals, the most common combination of terms of reference is “people + place”.

Conclusion: When conducting negotiations and presentations, communication and sales must be diagnosed life attitudes client, adjust their statements and proposals in accordance with the Housing Code. Be careful when diagnosing the condition, because if it is incorrectly identified, it will be difficult for you to come to an agreement with the client - you will simply speak different languages.

Now that we know how to effectively connect and align with a client, it's time to talk about calibration and lead. At these stages of communication the main objective- understand how the consumer feels about certain influences, eliminate all negative ones and then lead him to purchase the product being sold.

So, the third step in the process of using NLP in personal selling is calibration.

Calibration is observation of small details of a person’s condition and behavior, clarifying our vision of his condition. Calibration is used for more effective adjustment and management; calibration data helps to better understand what a person really thinks and feels, even if he is not inclined to talk about his condition or, moreover, is playing a double game.

The next step in the process of using NLP in personal selling is building rapport.

Using various techniques of adjustment, connection, guidance and calibration, the NLPist creates a “state of rapport” in the client. Let's take a closer look at this concept.

Rapport is:

1) a specific state of readiness to carry out orders, instructions, suggestions that arises in the client (the one to whom we apply NLP techniques) in relation to the seller (the one who uses NLP techniques);

2) a specific state of subconscious trust that arises in a certain person in relation to another, previously unfamiliar person, without any logical or rational basis;

3) in the very general view- relationships of complete agreement, trust and understanding within a small group (which can consist of only a couple of people) or even simply - harmonious relationships.

A person who is in a state of rapport with the seller will willingly agree to all the latter’s suggestions and wishes. This means that once you get a client into a state of rapport, you can sell to them endlessly! Ideally, the sale is completed the moment you bring the client into a state of rapport. Experienced salespeople use the rapport that occurs during (or after) a purchase to make an additional sale.

However, in practice it is not so simple. Consumers often have objections, especially when we're talking about about some major purchase. The client may have doubts, not trust the seller, or see some barriers to completing the transaction. To work with objections, you will need knowledge of the fifth stage of the process of using NLP in personal selling.