People who are happy with everything in their lives can safely be called happy. After all, they don’t know what stress is. They simply do not experience overexertion and negative emotions, to which the body reacts. A person who is constantly in under stress, becomes angry, irritable and starts, as they say, half a turn. Sooner or later he gets tired of it. And he wonders - how to be calm in any situation and is this real? Well, everything is possible in our life. And this is no exception.
Voltage reduction
Every person interested in how to be calm in any situation needs to remember - without minimizing emotional stress nothing will work out. First you need to start eating well and on time. And starting the morning with something tasty and loved will help lift your spirits. As well as a 10-minute exercise, which will also tone the body.
If at work a person encounters stress factor, then he will have to learn to be distracted. You just need to think about something pleasant - about a house, a loved one, a cake, cats, anything. It’s also worth getting used to the daily water procedures. To the bathhouse, shower, pool. Water calms the nerves.
And in general, if a person is thinking about how to be calm in any situation, it means it’s time to change something in his life. Maybe it has become terribly monotonous? Then it won’t hurt to introduce a new hobby or passion into it. The main thing is that it brings pleasure. A joyful, satisfied person simply does not want to be irritated.
Self-control
Typically, the question of how to be calm in any situation is asked by people who are constantly in a stressful environment. For example, at work every day your boss puts pressure on you or your colleagues irritate you with every word they say. There is only one way out - self-control.
An effective method is breathing practice. Namely the square technique. As soon as a person feels an attack of irritation, he will need to start breathing with his left nostril, then with his right, and then with his stomach and chest. This not only calms your heart rate, but also distracts you.
Or you can simply hold your breath and release it after half a minute. This helps minimize brain activity.
Methods of psychology
What happens in any situation if nothing helps? You can try to look at what is happening from the point of view of a balanced and restrained person. If so close friend or a relative, then half the job is done - clear example has already. We need to think - what would he do? This usually helps. Indeed, it is better to sit down and think than to tear and throw, which usually only aggravates the condition.
By the way, many people advise making a list of so-called personal irritants. You need to know the enemy by sight. And after compiling a list, you can come up with ways to actually cope with the irritant. The next time a person is faced with a source of stress, he will confidently be able to counter it with a predetermined method. This will be a small victory, which is guaranteed to improve your mood.
Motivation
There are different cases that make you think about how to remain calm in any situation. Most often people get angry because of failures. Something doesn't work out, and it drives me crazy. I want to give up everything, wash my hands and close myself off from everyone in my shelter. But this is not a solution. Well, motivation will help.
In a situation that is already “on the brink”, it is extremely important to support yourself. Words are powerful things. It’s worth convincing yourself that life gets worse before it gets better. And that even after dark night dawn always comes.
In general, it wouldn’t hurt to read a collection of motivational quotes. The most important things will naturally stick in your memory. For example, Stuart McRobert, a famous publicist and author of works on strength training, said: “You will have failures, injuries and mistakes. Depression and periods of despair. Work, study, family and everyday life will interfere with you more than once. But your inner complex should constantly show only one direction - towards the goal." Stewart addressed athletes and bodybuilders who wanted to achieve victory and titles. But the whole point of this phrase is that it can be applied to any person and situation.
Physical energy release
Surely every person interested in how to behave calmly in any situation has noticed changes in their body at the moment of irritation. Your head begins to make noise, the pressure rises so rapidly that you even feel a pulsation in your temples, you have a desire to scream or even attack someone with your fists with the intention of tearing them to shreds.
You cannot keep such a reserve of energy within yourself. Physical relaxation will help. You can sign up for a boxing class, where in the evening you can happily take out all your anger and aggression on a punching bag, imagining the offender instead. Changes will be noticeable almost immediately. If the harmful boss starts making baseless remarks again, the person will automatically remember how yesterday he took it out on the punching bag, imagining the boss in her place. And he will be happy to note to himself that today he will be able to do it again. Besides, anger in this case will make a person better! Stronger, more physically developed, more beautiful. Sport is useful, after all, it is muscle relaxation, which relieves tension accumulating in the body. Ideal for this occasion famous phrase: “Excess energy should be directed in the right direction.”
Everything ends sooner or later
Many people live by this principle. And it's effective. How to learn to be calm in any situation? It is enough just to remember that this (this can be specified depending on the case) is not forever. A project with too much hassle will sooner or later be completed and closed. New job Someday you will be able to find it. It will also be possible to raise money for separate housing. The boss will sooner or later get tired of nitpicking over trifles. In general, we need to be simpler.
By the way, this can be recommended to people who are worried about any important event. For example, before public speaking. True, there are also other ways. It is quite possible to be calm in any situation, even a very responsible one. You just need to set yourself short term goal. Go out, give a speech, appear in better light, do everything that was rehearsed. That's it, the job is done - and was it worth the worry?
People are just afraid too much. Fear clouds their minds and makes it difficult for them to calm down. If you overcome this barrier and set yourself in the right peaceful mood, then everything will work out.
A change of scenery
There is one more piece of advice that can answer the question of how to be calm in any situation. There are different practices. And one of the most effective is to change the environment. Not only physical, but also internal. Many people make a grave mistake - they return home from work, dragging with them a load of stress, worries, conflicts and problems. While in their “fortress”, they continue to think about their worries. And they don’t rest at all. You need to get used to clearly separating work and everything else - rest, home, friends, family, entertainment. Otherwise vicious circle will never break.
It’s worth trying, and a person will soon begin to notice that the thought “Well, again, how tired of all this, not a moment of peace” appears in his head less and less often.
Domestic situations
Much has been said above about how to be calm in any situation and not be nervous when it comes to work, life in society and society in general. But what about ordinary, “home” cases? If a person gets irritated in front of his family and friends and lashes out at them, then this is bad. The source again lies in his external failures associated with work, dissatisfaction personal life, lack of money. But those close to you are not to blame. In order not to be annoyed with them, you need to understand this. And don't be dramatic. If close person found out how things were going at work, he didn’t want to once again remind you of a bad boss, annoying colleagues and an unloved position. He just showed attention.
And this also happens - a person is simply annoyed by his interlocutor, who, as they say, goes too far. He is interested in things that do not concern him, asks about too personal things, imposes his opinion, tries to convince him of something, proves his opponent wrong. IN in this case the man was unlucky. But the issue can be solved simply. You just need to politely put your interlocutor down or move the conversation in a different direction.
The secret is happiness
Quite a lot has been said above about how to be calm in any situation. Psychology is an interesting science. And experts in this field can advise a lot of useful things. But the most important thing that everyone should learn is that the secret of peace lies in happiness. A person who likes everything in his life is always satisfied and happy. He doesn’t get irritated by little things, because he doesn’t care about anything - after all, everything is fine with him. Therefore, if too much has fallen on your shoulders, and it doesn’t give you peace, reminding you of yourself every second, it’s time to change your life. And you don’t need to be afraid to do this. After all, as the famous one said American writer Richard Bach - there are no limits for us.
Wherever we are and whoever we are with, there are some rules that are integral part human existence. They unite us, bind us, and when we adhere to them, we continue to be human.
1. Relationships are everything
People need to interact with people. We must love them, trust them, open up, learn from them, go to them and leave them. Growth happens in society, in a shared space. Don't be afraid to explore this space.
2. We all have a body. Learn to love him
There is only one body like yours on the entire planet - and it is yours. You are absolutely exclusive. Recognize him and listen to him. You can't take good care of something you don't like, so you need to truly love it. Remember healthy eating and physical activity.
3. We've all had our hearts broken at some point.
There are lessons to be learned. A broken heart means that the lesson has not been fully learned, and you need to learn to be prepared for such life situations. Be grateful that someone got out of the way so that the right person could come into your life.
4. Everything we need for a happy life is within ourselves.
Be able to analyze and understand what is bad and what is good. If you don't draw conclusions, the risk is that you will be attracted to the same type of people, you will constantly carry the same baggage and run in circles of the same relationships. Just a waste of time. Change the rules of the game!
5. Every person on the planet has to go through something.
Take a fresh look at things. If something no longer works for you, get rid of it. What really works will quickly take up the vacated space. At first it will hurt, but in the end everything will only be for the better. It's like new shoes that take some getting used to. Don't hold on to those who pull you down.
6. There are bumps in every road
And you need to either go around them or jump over them. In fact, there is a third option - standing still, but it is unproductive. Jumping over bumps, you will feel uncomfortable, although this the only way to the end and to the goal. The bumps and potholes will eventually end, and there will be a flat and smooth highway ahead.
7. Sometimes you will feel lonely
This is fine. This is what makes us human. You remember that every person on the planet has to go through something. Perhaps not at the same time as you, and perhaps not in the same way as you, but everyone has loved, lost, been sick, scared or heartbroken. We all come out of these situations with bruises and scars. And we all get lonely.
8. Do something you can't stop thinking about.
If you can't stop thinking about something, it's worth a try. So take the first step. Stop wondering what you have to lose and start visualizing what you have to win. And don't try to predict your path. When you do the right thing, you will have drive, energy, creativity and resources. But on empty space they will not arise.
9. You can't like everyone, and you can't please everyone. Therefore, save your time and energy for those you care about.
We spend too much time with people we don't like because of obligations. Try setting a limit on this. You may not be able to quit a job you hate right away, but at least make it your goal. Life is worth spending on what pleases you and brings you joy.
10. Love is hard. But that's your superpower
There are always plenty of reasons not to love. If your heart has been broken, you may not want to put yourself at risk again, but... what you need to remember - broken hearts are healing. And you can and should love. It is in this feeling that human superpower lies.
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How to keep a calm person in any situation, if excessive emotionality leads to undesirable consequences? Often it is difficult for an individual to cope with anger, hatred, aggression on his own, and he does not know what to do with these feelings. Keep calm in stressful situations it will be easier if a person realizes the need for control own emotions. In the heat of the moment, you can say and do things that a person often regrets later. In addition, if an individual is critical situation succumbs to the anxiety that overcomes him, then his ability to think logically, accept rational decisions and the ability to act correctly weakens sharply.
At the first stage of learning to gain calm, psychologists recommend learning to remain calm in minor situations when the individual is not yet completely overcome by negative emotions, and then moving on to train and learn in more serious and significant disputes or conflicts.
People often notice that it is very difficult to maintain inner peace when every little thing in life is important and therefore circumstances easily unsettle you. But if you develop several philosophical view things, you can learn to remain calm in any situation.
How to always stay calm? Psychologists advise working on yours. If a person believes in own strength, then he gains the confidence that he can cope with any situation that can happen in his life. And vice versa, if he doubts himself and sets himself up for an unfavorable outcome of any undertaking, then it is difficult for him to deal with life circumstances and at the same time not to be nervous.
It will be possible to remain calm in stressful situations if a person gets rid of bad habit dramatize the events happening to him and forbid himself to overthink himself.
An individual who wants to learn to remain calm needs to direct his wild imagination in a more productive direction, and not mentally scroll through unfavorable scenarios in his head, since such an attitude will only add anxiety and restlessness. If a person feels like he is succumbing to panic, then he should stop and think logically about the reason for this state.
Psychologists strongly advise monitoring your thoughts, because often a person becomes nervous and worried in situations that do not threaten him in any way. If an individual has such a tendency, then one should imagine the most favorable scenario for the development of events and think in a positive direction. This way a person will be able to make sure that nothing threatens his life and safety, and he will be able to cope with other troubles, if they arise, on his own, since in a truly critical situation the internal reserves of the body are mobilized by themselves. This is protective function body, so there is no need to be afraid of what has not yet happened, since it is precisely contrived internal anxiety that is an obstacle to calm.
There are many ways to stay calm, and one of them involves having a backup plan in case something goes wrong. Most likely, you won’t need it, but the knowledge that there is a way out gives you a feeling of calm and confidence. And if failure occurs, then you should immediately begin to act on the backup version of the strategic plan.
How to stay calm in conflict situation, which are not uncommon in human life. Every now and then an individual is faced with rudeness, injustice and irritation of people around him, and it is very difficult to remain calm in these cases. Often you want to repay in kind, but it would be better to refrain so as not to complicate the situation. By responding to negativity, an individual will only receive a new portion of anger and aggression, and his life will be even more filled with disappointment and anger. In the end, everyone will lose from this. Learn to control yourself in similar situations difficult, but necessary. To do this, no matter how difficult it may be, it is important to always be in a good mood.
- try not to be dramatic life situations, and do not give in to the impulse to exaggerate the negative;
- required to be used in your vocabulary as often as possible the words “I’m stronger than this”, “I can handle it”, “it’s okay”; such verbal formulations will help to look at existing problem differently;
- before sharing a problem with anyone, you need to think and not tell it to everyone you know; you should digest it yourself in order to calm down; well-meaning friends may show more sympathy than necessary, which can be even more upsetting;
- you should mentally visualize your calmness (become a calm and calm person in your imagination);
— you need to determine for yourself those factors that make a person lose composure and control over himself. Knowing and avoiding personal irritants will help a person remain calm throughout the day;
- it is important to learn to control your emotions; to do this, you should remember the moments when a person could remain in difficult situation calm;
- you cannot respond to attacks in a state of irritation; it is better to remain silent until calmness sets in;
- in any situation, always look for something positive;
— having heard criticism addressed to oneself, a person should find a rational grain in it; if it’s difficult, then you need to ignore what they say;
- it is necessary to develop a positive attitude towards people;
- it should be remembered that negative emotions that grip are harmful, first of all, to the person himself, therefore, if a mistake is made, it should be admitted;
- to calm yourself down, you need to listen to audiobooks that tune you to positive perception life;
- if there is a person who can support the individual, then you should talk to him;
- viewing quotes from books can help set a person up for positive behavior;
- troubles in life should be treated as training; the more success an individual achieves in life, the more negative situations overcomes;
- a person cannot be liked by everyone, no one can do this, so it would be better to let relationships with some people become a thing of the past. In this way, you can free yourself from a heavy burden and communicate more with those who influence a person positively;
— to create an atmosphere of calm, you can use calm music or silence, scented candles;
- a few deep breaths can help an individual relieve tension, anxiety and adjust to a calmer rhythm;
- following a daily routine and a balanced, fortified diet will allow a person to be healthy, and therefore maintain inner peace;
- avoiding excessive consumption of caffeine and sugar, maintaining the necessary water balance can be supported calm state body;
- daily physical exercise relieve tension, which will allow you to control your experiences;
- meditation, yoga can help you gain peace of mind;
- in order not to think about the same thing, you need to get carried away by something interesting or creative;
— it is important to be able to relax and, if necessary, take a day off to fill yourself with fresh ideas;
- Breathing from the diaphragm - belly will help quickly relieve tension and allow you to calm down in a matter of minutes. During belly breathing, the belly rises and falls. You need to inhale through your nose, then hold your breath for a few seconds and exhale slowly.
So, why is it important to learn to remain calm? So that impatience and anger do not exhaust your soul and heart. In order to get more done in life, communicate better, and live a more purposeful and productive life.
Is it difficult to be who you really are, that is, yourself? Yes and no. Many will answer that it is difficult. The reason is the fear of not appearing to be who you are used to seeing.
You can't find your happiness by trying to be someone else..
1. What are you trying to hide?
Find what you are ashamed of. You can't be yourself when you're trying to hide part of yourself from prying eyes. Clearly define what you are ashamed of about yourself, and be prepared to speak openly about it. Being yourself means being willing to show yourself as you are, and not as you think others will accept you. Larry King immediately spoke about his shortcomings and this simplified his communication with any interlocutor. Often he didn't even have to do this, but his willingness to talk about his shortcomings made him best conversationalist and made his life much easier.
2. Three basic things to be proud of
Be sure to be proud of the basics: your first name, last name and job. If your name is Diarrhea Gavnov, change your name. If you work as a visiting proctologist in a reception center for homeless people, change your job. In cases far from these, be proud of yourself. Having flaws is normal, constantly thinking about them is not..
3. One day you are on a horse, the next day you are under a horse and vice versa
During the upswing, we want to think that it will always be like this, but then there is always a downturn. When we are at the bottom, we lower our self-esteem and cannot be ourselves. We are ashamed. There is no need to be ashamed of recessions, they are part of progress, you need to be prepared for them. The position should be something like this: “Yes, today I’m unemployed and have nowhere to live, but in general I’m awesome and it will soon be seen.”
4. Haste
If you are in a constant rush, you may forget who you really are. To rush means to place your habits and thoughts in the grip of time. You can't be yourself when you're in a hurry. Stop running, turn back and say to yourself who is running behind you, “gotcha?!” Make stops when talking to people. Slow down the pace. The rule here is: The more you rush, the further you run away from yourself . If you are asked a question point blank: “You must make a decision right now. So yes or no"? The answer should always be “no”. No regrets. This is the price for happiness.
5. Life situations
Notice in what situations you are not yourself. A clear pattern will be visible very soon. The same people, places and circumstances cause tension and unusual behavior in you. Next time, give yourself permission to relax in these situations. Relaxation means returning to yourself. Learn not to tense up when you are stressed.
6. Your tongue
Do not speak formal language. Keep it simple. Genius lies not in complicating a thought, but in expressing it as simply as possible. To be yourself means to stop dressing your thoughts in triple layers of thick words.
7. Listen, don't talk
Change the purpose of your conversations with people from “to speak and impress” to “to listen and understand.” In order not to create additional stress in yourself with the obligation to “understand”, always keep in mind the rule: Understanding does not mean agreeing.
8. Be curious
Ask questions, be interested in what you are talking about with the person. If you don't understand, be sure to ask what your interlocutor meant. Ask tough questions. Don't feel sorry for people, you think too much about them. Tough questions By the way, they develop your environment. They will be grateful to you for them later. To be yourself means to be interested in the world.
9. Love yourself
Not in words, but in deeds. Give yourself favors that no one sees. Self-love should not be for show, but secret. Flowers are for show. Dear underwear(this also applies to men, especially men) - this is secret. Later, the secret will become clear, and you will decide to always be yourself, because that is exactly the way you adore yourself.
10. Exercises to be yourself
Answer honestly - why is it difficult for you to be yourself? Because you are trying to please others! You are captive of other people's opinions. There are exercises on how to become yourself and not depend on the opinions of others. One of the most effective is to sometimes deliberately take other people out of comfort zone. They probably won't like it. This is “weight-bearing exercise.” Intentional calling to oneself negative feelings, this is as far from “trying to please” as it can be, which means it is a powerful exercise on the path to oneself.
11. Look into the eyes
Learn to look people in the eye when you talk to them. Dogs can't do this. On an animal level, we are programmed to obey whoever holds our gaze longer. However, don't turn your conversations with people into a meeting between two boxers before a match. Don’t avoid looking, be prepared to “watch” until the end until you finish the thought. An escalator in the subway is a good place practice at the initial stage.
12. Start writing your blog
The more frank, the better. The first frank posts will be painful for you. You will worry about what people think of you and want to fit in. There will be a temptation to hide in the middle of humanity and not stick out. But with each new article and with each critical comment addressed to you, you will worry less and less about other people’s opinions about yourself, and louder and louder, you will hear your own voice from within. You will also begin to become yourself because you will gain enormous knowledge of yourself while writing articles.
13. Find and define yourself by his conditions.
Oscar Wilde once said with his characteristic wit: “Be yourself, all the other roles have already been sorted out.” No matter how funny it sounds, this summary truth. At the same time, you cannot be yourself unless you first know, understand and accept yourself. This should be your first goal.
- Take time to explore what you value in life and reflect on what makes up who you are. As part of this, reflect on your life and the choices you make. Try to understand what you would and wouldn't want to do and act accordingly. Trial and error helps more than you might imagine.
- You can even take personality tests, but take them as aids, without allowing them to completely define your identity. Make sure that your self-definition is based on your own ideas and that you feel completely comfortable with it. You may feel awkward, but over time, if you are surrounded suitable people, they will accept you for who you are.
14. In the process of finding your values, do not be surprised that some of them may contradict each other.
This is a natural result of adopting values from different sources, including culture, religion, mentors, inspiring people, educational resources and so on. In fact, it is important to work through these contradictions to determine which values are most true for you.
- Just because your values conflict with each other doesn't necessarily mean you need to throw them away. See it as part of your dynamic self. You cannot be put in a box or protected in any way. Do you have values in different aspects your life, so it is natural that they are different.
15. Don't dwell on the past, not allowing yourself to develop.
One of the most unhealthy approaches to staying true to yourself is to make a decision about who you are dictated by a certain moment or period of time, and then spend the rest of your life trying to be that person from the past, instead of remaining yourself, but at the same time developing with each coming person. season or decade. Allow yourself this space to grow, to improve, to become wiser.
- Forgive your past mistakes and actions that you are not particularly proud of. Work on accepting your mistakes and the choices you made - they happened and they are in the past. You had good reasons for doing so, these decisions made sense at the time, so instead of getting attached to past mistakes, allow yourself to learn from them and continue to grow.
- Look at the people around you who proudly proclaim that they haven't changed a bit since they were 16, 26, 36, or whatever it was. Do they seem flexible, easy to talk to, happy people? Most often not, because they insist so zealously that nothing has changed that they cannot accept new ideas, learn from others and develop. Achieving each new milestone or stage in our lives is the most important component of being true to ourselves, emotional health and integrity.
- Just because someone says they don't like something about you doesn't mean it's bad and you need to change it. Depends on what exactly; It's often a matter of personal preference.
- Change is continuous process. Change in your personality over time is inevitable, and it will happen the best way, provided that you are aware of what is happening in the world and correspond to it, and make personal development the main priority in your life.
- Even if your friends look different, don't hold yourself back. Be yourself and if they don't accept you for who you are, then are they really your true friends?!
- Trying to imitate someone just to gain their popularity, looks and attitude can really hurt you. Be unique by focusing on your strengths, being inspired by others, but not turning into them.
- Following fads and fashion trends is a personal decision for everyone. Some people avoid it like the plague for fear of losing their individuality, but that doesn't mean you stop being yourself when you decide to follow a trend. It all depends on what you ultimately want.
- Know that sometimes it is more profitable to go with the flow than to resist. For example: Sometimes it's better to agree to go to a concert of a band you don't really like so you can have fun with your friends. You need to make concessions and respect other people's preferences.
- Don't say you can't do something simply because you can't please someone! This will not help matters in any way, and the person will easily see through you.
- As you try to accept yourself, don't be discouraged by your flaws. If you can work with them, and even if you can't, remember that they make you who you are and help define who you are. Your shortcomings are ultimately part of you, so there's nothing to be ashamed of.
- When choosing an outfit, look at yourself in the mirror. Instead of focusing on your external flaws, focus on your strengths. This helps improve self-esteem.
- Don't let your friends confuse you or drag you into something you don't want to do. Be yourself and be true to your true self.
Learning how to be calm in any situation in the ocean of life is simply necessary. Problems rain down on the heads of the inhabitants of planet Earth as if from a cornucopia. Ecology, politics, social upheavals, economics, psychological condition society as a whole and each individual individually - nowhere is there even a hint of stabilization of the situation.
Separate yourself from everyone with a high fence, go to desert island Not everyone will succeed - there simply aren’t enough islands and fences, but trying to become a confident and balanced person is possible for everyone.
Do I need this?
Holders of certain types of temperament initially possess this skill. It was born with them, and helps to maintain equanimity in all situations throughout life path. It's about about phlegmatic people who cannot be nervous, these unsinkable cruisers of calm and confidence. But first of all, pure types There is not so much temperament in nature, and, secondly, having mastered the techniques of how to learn to remain calm, you can teach this to your family and loved ones.Those representatives of society should master techniques for regulating their internal state:
- who find it difficult to control emotions;
- who avoids difficult questions and difficult situations;
- to whom every little thing gets on your nerves;
- who are worried about upcoming difficulties, real or imagined;
- who dreams of always being a discreet person.
Why you shouldn't be nervous
Maybe, well, this training on having calmness? Everyone is nervous, and somehow they survive, and some also manage to look great at the same time, build a career, defend dissertations, and start families. However, not everything is so rosy; there are many reasons why you shouldn’t be nervous.- If you get nervous, you’ll lose control of the situation, and then whoever wants to take you with their bare hands.
- If you get nervous, family relationships in all verticals (husband-wife, children-parents, etc.) will suffer.
- If you get nervous, you will receive something like a boomerang effect from those around you, and your emotion will return to you, only in double the size. Do you need this?
- If you get nervous, you will get vasospasm, and everything that follows (migraine, atherosclerosis, stroke).
- If you get nervous, your body will begin to increase production of the hormone cortisol, which destroys brain cells and nitrogenous decomposition of muscles.
Learning to be calm
Before you start mastering techniques that allow you to experience and then return this blissful state at will, it is advisable to find a picture that will personify this calmness for you and place it in your immediate environment.This could be wallpaper on your computer desktop, a wall calendar, a poster on the wall depicting a peaceful landscape, a sleeping child, sunsets and sunrises, a starry sky, in general, anything that will be a symbol of peace for you.
The following four techniques were proposed by the French psychologist E. Pigani, in order to artificially induce and consolidate a feeling of calm.
“Jar of Honey” - a technique for slowing down movements
You need to choose some routine action that you do every day “automatically,” quickly and without thinking. This could be cleaning the closet, washing dishes, taking a shower, making tea, or any other type of simple activity. Breathing slowly and deeply, you need to slow down your movements as much as possible.
Now attention is directed to every movement, to the feeling of contact with the object being used. To make it more believable, you can imagine yourself immersed in a huge jar of honey, and slow down your movements even more.
The purpose of this exercise is to stop being nervous, recover quickly in stressful situations, and feel your presence “here and now” with all the acuteness.
“Jar of Rice” - a technique for training patience
To do this, you need to count the grains of rice, transferring them from one glass to another. Have you recalculated? Write down how much you got, and then do everything in reverse order. The results, of course, should be the same. If you want to grumble, remember that in a Buddhist monastery you would be forced to number each grain of rice.
“Food Pot” - mindful eating
Attitudes towards food in the times of fast food and convenience foods, frozen desserts and ready-made meals from the supermarket have undergone significant changes compared to the beginning of the last century. However, the human body, both then and now, is able to send a signal of satiety to the brain only 20-30 minutes after the start of the action of digestive juices.
Start your first meal by eating slowly, chewing slowly, and slowly breaking off pieces of the served dish. You need to sit with a straight back and a straight neck, bring cutlery to your mouth slowly, and eat calmly. Signals of satiety will reach the brain on time, less food will be needed, a slim figure will be ensured along with the ability not to get irritated while eating.
“Empty Pot” - a technique for listening to silence
Every week you need to set aside five (just five!) minutes to listen to silence. Turn off all phones, TVs, computers, dim the lights. You need to sit comfortably, without tension, with your hands on your hips. Left hand lies on the right thumb right hand- on the left palm, does not press it, but simply lies there.
WITH eyes closed you need to focus on the sensations at the point where your finger touches your palm. In this position, listen to silence for five minutes. After two months, meetings with silence take place every day. During them you can think about good and evil. The feeling of how to remain calm will be consolidated over time, it can be easily evoked in order not to be nervous and to be balanced in any conflict situation.
Controlling negative emotions
Zen Buddhists believe that every negative emotion is a message that needs to be read and released. They compare negative emotions to fire and water, saying that it is easier to cope with a fire that has just started and a leaky faucet when you immediately begin to fix the problem. As always, this is easier said than done, however, there is technology here that helps put everything in order.- Make a list of the 14 most frequently experienced negative emotions (anxiety, shame, hatred, melancholy, envy, resentment, etc.).
- Separate these emotions from your inner self. For example, not “I am jealous,” but “I feel jealous,” not “I am guilty,” but “I feel guilty,” then follow the pattern.
- Remember the strongest attack of anger, its cause, your feelings at the same time, physical sensations. Well, where is this anger now?
- Let's return to the list from the first point. Now we need to determine what service each emotion served. “Anxiety helps you be alert.” “Embarrassment helps you adapt to strangers.”
- In the future, if you feel an increase in negativity, try to determine how it can be useful this emotion. Most likely, now, having realized this, you will no longer become her hostage.
For every stress there is... an anti-stress
If you want to assess the level of stress in your life, you can use the “social conformity scale” American psychologists T. Holmes and R. Rahe, who rated every event in the life of an average person on a 100-point scale. In first place there is the death of a spouse (100 points), and in last place new year holidays(12 points) and minor violation of the law (11 points).The sum of points is used to calculate the level of stress and (attention!) the risk of getting sick. We don’t need such problems - to help ourselves and not get irritated, we will do “Anti-stress” exercises.
Let's pretend
The exercise is effective at any level of stress. You need to feign calmness, this creates a feeling of relaxation, and after a few minutes real calm comes. Here you need to be a bit of an actor, convince yourself that you are playing a role calm person. The secret here is that our subconscious always takes everything at face value - by believing you, it influenced external condition.
Smile and yawn
Every psychology textbook gives an example of how, when you smile, 42 facial muscles give a signal nervous system, starting the process of regulating breathing, removing muscle tension, releasing “happiness hormones”. It works even with a forced, forced smile, and instantly. The same effect is produced by a wide yawn, which prevents irritation and brings relaxation.
Let's understand the world around us
The most the best remedy when stress increases, maintain contact with your own self. To achieve this, you need to observe what is happening as if from the outside, act somewhat detached. You must not lose attention and control over the situation; tell yourself all your actions. When you leave the house, say to yourself: “I am leaving the house.” When you wash the dishes, say to yourself: “I am washing the dishes.” When you turn on the computer, say to yourself: “I am turning on the computer.”
Do you think this is too primitive? But “everything ingenious is simple”, you just need to try it and make sure it’s effective simple tips, which will help you always be confident in your peace of mind and not get irritated over trifles.