Some people talk to themselves quite often. For example, while they are trying to find a solution to a problem. Or in order to deal with today. And also to find a lost item in the apartment. As in “The Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath”: “Where did the glasses go? Sides-a-alas!”
And if you are embarrassed to mutter something under your breath while working or walking, then scientists are quick to support you: it is useful. Apparently, those who constantly talk to themselves for many years can boast of remarkable mental abilities.
Psychologist Gary Lupyan conducted a study in which he showed a certain set objects to 20 volunteers. He asked me to remember each of them. The first group of 10 participants had to repeat out loud the names of the objects shown, for example, “banana”, “apple”, “milk”. All subjects were then taken inside and asked to find objects on shelves.
The result of the experiment showed that those who repeated the names of objects out loud while searching found the desired products faster. The difference with the “silent ones” was from 50 to 100 milliseconds.
“I'm constantly chatting to myself while I'm looking for items in the supermarket or refrigerator,” says Gary Lupyan. Exactly personal experience became the reason to conduct a larger experiment. Another psychologist, Daniel Swingley, worked in Lupyan’s team. Together, scientists came to the conclusion: talking to yourself is not just useful - it can make a person a genius. And that's why.
Stimulates memory
When you talk to yourself, your sensory memory storage is activated. This structure is responsible for storing a limited amount of information for a short period of time. When you speak out loud, you visualize the meaning of the word. Therefore, it is remembered better.
This effect was recorded during a scientific experiment. The researchers asked participants to learn a list of words. One group of volunteers did this quietly, to themselves, while the other recited the terms out loud. It was those who pronounced each word who remembered the entire list better.
Maintains concentration
When you say a word out loud, you automatically evoke an image in your memory and consciousness. This helps you stay focused and not be distracted from the task at hand. In the case of searching for an item in a supermarket, this works flawlessly.
Wilson Hul/Flickr.comOf course, it helps if you know what the object you're looking for looks like. For example, say the word “banana” - and the brain recreates a picture of a bright yellow oblong object. But, let’s say, if you say “cherimoya” without having any idea what your favorite fruit looks like, it will be of little use.
Clears the mind
Do you know this feeling when thoughts are besieged from all sides? A variety of things: starting from “What am I doing with my life?” and ending with “Oh, still wash the dishes.” Talking to yourself will help you figure this out. Talk through what needs to be done right now. In this way, it is as if you are instructing yourself, encouraging you to act.
In the same way, you can get rid of unnecessary emotions. Anger, joy and frustration can be easily overcome with the help of such self-programming. Also, before you make a decision, voice it. Hearing yourself as if from the outside, it will be easier for you to understand whether you are really doing right choice or it sounds like the ravings of a madman.
“It’s like I’m writing subtitles for my life,” admits 37-year-old Alexandra. – Everything I’m going to do, I comment out loud: “It’s warm today, I’ll wear a blue skirt”; “I’ll withdraw a couple of thousand from the card, that should be enough.” If my friend hears it, it’s not scary - he’s used to it. But in public place people start looking at me sideways and I feel stupid.”
It helps me concentrate. By saying our actions out loud, we are not at all striving for communication - so why don’t we just remain silent? “The need for comments appears when the task facing us requires concentration,” notes psychotherapist Andrei Korneev, a specialist in somatic psychology. – There was a period in the lives of each of us when we described out loud everything that we did or were going to do. Although we may not remember it: it happened at the age of about three years. Such speech, addressed to no one, is a natural stage of development; it helps the child navigate objective world, go from spontaneous reactions to conscious actions and learn to manage them. Then external speech“collapses”, goes internal, and we stop noticing it.” But it can “unfold” again and sound out loud if we perform some kind of complex sequence operations, for example we collect electronic circuit or prepare a dish according to a new recipe. Its function is the same: it makes it easier for us to manipulate objects and helps us plan them.
Elena, 41 years old, Norwegian language teacher
“Criticizing myself out loud, or even scolding, was a habit for me. I never thought about it and somehow involuntarily made a remark to myself in the psychotherapist’s office. And he asked: “Who told little Lena that she was a klutz?” It was like an epiphany: I remembered that this was exactly how my friend had scolded me. school teacher. And I stopped saying that - because I don’t think so, these words are not mine!”
I'm letting out my emotions. Exclamations that have no addressee can be a manifestation of strong feelings: indignation, delight. One day, Pushkin, alone, “clapping his hands and shouting, “Oh yes Pushkin! what a son of a bitch!” - I was so pleased with my work. Replies: “At least it’s gone!” student before an exam, “so what to do about it?” the accountant over the quarterly report and the things we say while looking after the train we missed - they all have the same reason. “A statement in such a situation serves as an emotional release and is often accompanied by an energetic gesture,” explains Andrei Korneev. “Strong is a surge of energy, and it requires some kind of manifestation outside so that we can get rid of excess tension.” I keep on leading internal dialogue. Sometimes we seem to look at ourselves from the outside - and evaluate, scold, and lecture. “If these are monotonous statements in which the same assessments are made, little dependent on changes in circumstances, this is a consequence of emotional trauma, most likely received in childhood,” says Andrei Korneev. “An unresolved conflict turns into an internal one: one part of us conflicts with another.” Strong feeling that we experienced in the past found no outlet (for example, we could not express anger towards our parents) and remained locked inside. And we relive it, repeating out loud the words once addressed to us.
What to do?
Separate your thoughts from others
Who speaks to us during such monologues? Are we really expressing our own thoughts and opinions or are we repeating what our parents, relatives or close friends once told us? “Try to remember who it was. Imagine that this person is now in front of you, suggests Andrei Korneev. - Listen to his words. Find an answer that you can give now as an adult, taking into account your life experience and knowledge. As a child, you may have been confused or scared, unsure of how to respond, or afraid. Today you have something to say, and you will be able to defend yourself.” This exercise helps complete the experience.
Try to speak more quietly
“If talking through actions helps you, you don’t need to try to get rid of it,” reassures Andrey Korneev. – And if disapproving glances or comments from others who do not want to be aware of your plans interfere with this, then try to avoid them. What should I do for this? Speak more quietly, in a whisper. This is exactly the one rare case, when the more illegible, the better. Then those around you will not suspect for a second that you are addressing them, and awkward situations will become smaller. Gradually you can switch to silent pronunciation, it’s a matter of training.” Look closely and you will notice other people moving their lips near a store shelf with twenty types of cereals. But this doesn't bother anyone.
Prepare in advance
Make a grocery list when going to the store. Calculate your time when getting ready for the train. Learn everything exam papers. Planning and careful preparation will eliminate the need to think on your feet and worry out loud. Of course, there are emergencies that are beyond our control and that cannot be foreseen. But, hand on heart, we admit that they happen rarely.
Talking to yourself is an adequate phenomenon if it looks like a monologue inside yourself. In addition, the norm is to talk to oneself out loud, if such a monologue helps to coordinate own actions, helps to cope with emotions. The inner voice is an important assistant; it gives you a chance to put thoughts in order, plan actions, and look for things.
Scientists are sure that a person talks to himself 70% of the time. If a person tells himself something out loud, then this is evidence of an encounter with an unusual task or a search for things.
Conducting an experiment. Self-Dialogue Help
Researchers started an experiment to find out how a monologue helps find lost things. The volunteers were divided into 2 parts. One group looked for a thing, thinking out loud, and the other - silently.
The results were surprising. The first group found what was lost sooner than the second. This study proves that self talk helps to more correctly perceive and understand brain data.
Where does systematic self-talk come from, and why is the voice within us exactly like this? Like other factors in personality development, it is formed in early age. It is upbringing that influences our consciousness and internal dialogues. If you constantly hear insults directed at yourself, characterizing you as a lazy incompetent, then the voice inside will only utter insults. Such children become pessimists, aggressive or apathetic.
A conversation with yourself will help you find a lost item, understand complex problem, make the right choice.
If your parents made such a mistake, then do not despair. Everyone can help themselves. If you work on yourself, sooner or later you will hear an exclamation from within: “I’m doing great.” Researchers have expressed opinions about the primary inner voice. In 70% of cases, the inner “man” is the one who brings criticism and negativity in life. For positive result try to change it, subjugate it. Present all reproaches as a cute animal or an overly pretentious personality. If you focus on the way you speak internally, it will distract from the essence of the phrases, they will not offend your personality as much.
Then learn if it is a hindrance. This is difficult, but training will make the task easier: concentrate on several points at once, try to keep 3 things in your field of vision, perceive 3 sounds around you. Such workload will “drown out” the conversation inside.
If your inner “resident” loves you, then he helps in fulfilling your plans. And turning it off often helps not only in relationships (the voice talking about problems and past failures often spoils romance and intimacy), but also in work.
Remember, a conversation with yourself should support a person in everything, not cause panic, and not distract from important thoughts and moments.
Self talk. Signs of psychosis
If a person talks to himself and does not expect an answer, then this often turns out to be early sign psychosis – schizophrenia. If you just mumble something, this is not always a sign of such a disease. But laughter and long conversations in combination with other behavioral abnormalities (isolation, hallucinations) require immediate consultation with a doctor.
Conversations with yourself as mental disorder easy to distinguish. A person in such a state disconnects from everything, he is not interested in communicating with other people.
The most typical symptom of psychosis is hallucinations. This is an incorrect perception of reality in one of the sensory categories. In this case, in life there is no external stimuli, but a person hears, sees or feels something. Such phenomena appear at the moment between awakening and sleep, in an unconscious state, in delirium tremens, in severe exhaustion. Another reason is hypnosis. Most often, hallucinations are visual.
Clear hallucinations are a symptom of schizophrenia. With one of the varieties of this disease, people are sure that they hear orders from an internal voice or a voice from the outside, they obey, defend themselves, or commit suicide.
But you should not, contrary to popular opinion, assume that schizophrenia is the same as personality disorders in the form of duality, when a person also has conversations with himself.
It is quite normal to have a conversation with yourself if it happens in the format of internal dialogue. WITH psychological point It is more useful to speak out loud. This promotes better coordination of actions, relieves stress and emotional stress. Inner voice, subconscious, intuition - the inner self has many names. This is the part that helps you plan your day, gives you ideas on how to spend the weekend, and calms you down. difficult moments and knows what is best for a person. Therefore, it is very important to listen to her.
Scientific approach
Scientists have calculated that talking to oneself takes up 70% of a person’s time. This applies to both internal monologues and those spoken out loud. Most often, the inner voice bursts out during the decision of some non-standard tasks or searching for objects. Scientists came to the conclusion that such conversations are beneficial, and to test their hypothesis they conducted an experiment.
The subjects were divided into two groups, each of which had to find a certain thing. In the first group, the searches had to be carried out silently, and in the second, all thoughts had to be voiced. The result was interesting. People from the second group completed the task much faster. The experiment proved that talking to yourself helps you better absorb and process information, speeding up brain activity.
Why talk to yourself out loud?
There are several reasons why you should start talking to yourself out loud:
- Memory stimulation. In the process of talking to yourself, sensory memory awakens. By saying a word out loud, you visualize it, so you remember it better.
- Maintaining concentration. Works great when searching for an item. For example, you need to find your keys before leaving the house; if you say this word out loud, the brain will concentrate only on this task, removing all others from priority. The item will be found faster.
- Stress relief. Everyone is familiar with the state when thoughts are buzzing in a swarm in your head. It seems that all the problems of the world have fallen on our shoulders at the same time and there is not the slightest idea how to solve them. To relieve tension, you need to talk through what is bothering you. And for this it is not necessary to look for an outside listener.
- Preparing for an important conversation. When a person is going to talk about something important, he chooses his words carefully. It is very useful to hear your speech out loud, it will help you remove unnecessary things and hear how it sounds from the outside.
How and what to talk to yourself about?
There are no special rules on how to talk to yourself. If we're talking about about the decision internal problem, then it’s better to be left alone with yourself. If you need to make a pie and a person recites the recipe out loud, then the presence of other people in the room will not interfere with him.
If talking to yourself is an attempt to sort out your life, then the topics could be as follows:
- self-esteem;
- relationship;
- Job;
- future;
- loneliness and its causes;
- conflicts with others;
- fulfillment of desires;
- anxiety and fears, etc.
Whatever worries a person, he can say out loud.
5 reasons to talk to yourself
1. Getting rid of fear, anxiety and panic
In films you can often see when a person has to cross a shaky bridge located on high altitude, he says to himself: “The main thing is, don’t look down.” This is a great example of how self-talk works in stressful situations. If something scares a person, he finds a solution to how to get rid of fear or reduce its pressure and speaks it out loud. Advice spoken and heard at the same time works better.
In a moment of panic, psychologists advise counting to 10; this can also be done out loud to switch concentration to your voice. There will also be effective conversation in question-answer format. You should ask yourself to explain what exactly is scary and why, what will happen if it happens, what is the likelihood of it happening.
2. Saying goodbye to past relationships
After a breakup, sometimes there is a feeling that there is still something to improve in the relationship. Seems like we need another one last conversation, which will change a lot. Before in Once again write ex-partner and to sort out an already ended relationship, it is better to say out loud what you want to tell him. When pronouncing arguments, you should try to be impartial and evaluate them from the outside. Are they as “iron” as they seem in the head?
To survive the loss, you can say out loud what this relationship gave, remind you why it ended. It should also be said that they have exhausted themselves and have no further continuation. You definitely need to remind yourself that there will be other relationships ahead in which your previous experience will be useful.
3. Planning and motivation
When there are a lot of things to do and you need to plan them correctly, it’s enough to write them down and say them out loud. This way you can understand which of them are really important and require immediate implementation, and which can be postponed.
It is also important to speak out your desires. Saying them out loud makes them more real. You can talk to yourself about what to do to fulfill them. Before a serious event, you should support yourself by giving a motivational speech.
4. Work on self-esteem
One of the methods of increasing self-esteem is speaking affirmations. It is recommended to say them out loud. This is also a type of self-talk, as a person convinces himself that he has certain qualities.
You can praise yourself periodically. For example, start the morning by talking to your reflection in the mirror. You should smile and say something like “I am the most charming and attractive” or “today will bring me a lot of positive emotions.”
5. Airing out grievances
Keeping a grudge inside is harmful, but expressing dissatisfaction in a calm manner is not always possible. That’s why psychologists sometimes recommend writing letters to offenders, but not sending them. And then you can write and . So a person can simply throw out his grievances on paper. Speaking out grievances works even better. Moreover, this can be done both by addressing the offender and by explaining to yourself what exactly caused the feeling of resentment.
Talking to yourself is not an abnormality and does not indicate mental disorders. His goal is to learn to be in harmony with the inner self. The ability to listen to yourself is extremely important. And in order to hear something, you need to start talking.
In psychology, internal dialogue is one of the forms of thinking, the process of communication between a person and himself. It becomes the result of the interaction of different ego states: “child”, “adult” and “parent”. The inner voice often criticizes us, gives advice, and appeals to common sense. But is he right? T&P learned from several people from different areas how their inner voices sound, and asked a psychologist to comment on this.
Inner dialogue has nothing to do with schizophrenia. Everyone has voices in their heads: it is we ourselves (our personality, character, experience) who speak to ourselves, because our Self consists of several parts, and the psyche is very complex. Thinking and reflection are impossible without internal dialogue. However, it is not always framed as a conversation, and some of the remarks are not always spoken by the voices of other people - as a rule, relatives. “The voice in the head” can also sound like your own, or it can “belong” to a complete stranger: a classic of literature, a favorite singer.
From a psychological point of view, internal dialogue is a problem only if it develops so actively that it begins to interfere with a person’s Everyday life: distracts him, knocks him out of his thoughts. But more often this silent conversation “with oneself” becomes material for analysis, a field for searching for sore spots and test site for the development of rare and valuable ability- understand and support yourself.
Novel
sociologist, marketer
It is difficult for me to identify any characteristics of the inner voice: shades, timbre, intonation. I understand that this is my voice, but I hear it completely differently, not like the others: it is more booming, low, rough. Usually in internal dialogue I imagine the current role model of some situation, hidden direct speech. For example, what would I say to this or that public (despite the fact that the public can be very different: from random passers-by to clients of my company). I need to convince them, to convey my idea to them. I usually play off intonation, emotion and expression as well.
At the same time, there is no discussion as such: there is internal monologue with thoughts like, “What if?” Does it happen that I call myself an idiot? Happens. But this is not a condemnation, but rather something between annoyance and a statement of fact.
If I need an outside opinion, I change the prism: for example, I try to imagine what one of the classics of sociology would say. The sound of the voices of the classics is no different from mine: I remember precisely logic and “optics”. I distinguish clearly alien voices only in my dreams, and they are accurately modeled by real analogues.
Anastasia
prepress specialist
In my case, the inner voice sounds like my own. Basically, he says: “Nastya, stop it,” “Nastya, don’t be stupid,” and “Nastya, you’re a fool!” This voice appears infrequently: when I feel disorganized, when my own actions make me dissatisfied. The voice is not angry - rather, irritated.
I never heard my mother’s, my grandmother’s, or anyone else’s voice in my thoughts: only my own. He can scold me, but within certain limits: no humiliation. This voice is more like my coach: it presses buttons that encourage me to act.
Ivan
screenwriter
What I hear mentally is not formalized as a voice, but I recognize this person by the structure of her thoughts: she looks like my mother. And even more precisely: this is an “internal editor” who explains how to make it so that the mother likes it. For me, as a hereditary filmmaker, this is an unflattering name, because Soviet years For creative person(director, writer, playwright) editor is a dull protege of the regime, a not very educated censorship worker, reveling own power. It’s unpleasant to realize that this type in you censors thoughts and clips the wings of creativity in all areas.
The “internal editor” gives many of his comments to the point. However, the question is the purpose of this “case”. To summarize, he says: “Be like everyone else and keep your head down.” He feeds the inner coward. “You need to be an excellent student” because it saves you from problems. Everyone likes it. He prevents me from understanding what I want, whispers that comfort is good, and the rest comes later. This editor doesn't really let me be an adult in in a good way this word. Not in the sense of dullness and lack of play space, but in the sense of personality maturity.
I hear my inner voice mainly in situations that remind me of childhood, or when direct expression of creativity and imagination is needed. Sometimes I give in to the "editor" and sometimes I don't. The most important thing is to recognize his interference in time. Because he disguises himself well, hiding behind pseudological conclusions that actually make no sense. If I have identified him, then I try to understand what the problem is, what I want and where the truth really is. When this voice, for example, interferes with my creativity, I try to stop and go into the space of “complete emptiness”, starting all over again. The difficulty lies in the fact that it can be difficult to distinguish an “editor” from a simple common sense. To do this, you need to listen to your intuition, move away from the meaning of words and concepts. This often helps.
Irina
translator
My internal dialogue is framed as the voices of my grandmother and friend Masha. These are people whom I considered close and important: I lived with my grandmother as a child, and Masha was there during a difficult time for me. Grandma's voice says that my hands are crooked and that I am incompetent. And Masha’s voice repeats different things: that I again contacted the wrong people, I’m leading wrong image life and doing the wrong thing. They both always judge me. At the same time, voices appear in different moments: when something doesn’t work out for me, grandma “says”, and when everything works out for me and I feel good, Masha says.
I react aggressively to the appearance of these voices: I try to silence them, I mentally argue with them. I tell them in response that I know better what and how to do with my life. Most often I manage to out-argue my inner voice. But if not, I feel guilty and feel bad.
Kira
prose editor
Mentally, I sometimes hear my mother’s voice, which condemns me and devalues my achievements, doubting me. This voice is always dissatisfied with me and says: “What are you talking about! Are you out of your mind? It’s better to do a profitable business: you have to earn money.” Or: “You should live like everyone else.” Or: “You won’t succeed: you’re nobody.” It appears when I have to make a bold move or take a risk. In such situations, the inner voice seems to be trying, through manipulation (“mom is upset”), to persuade me to the safest and most unremarkable course of action. In order for him to be satisfied, I must be inconspicuous, diligent, and please everyone.
I also hear my own voice: it calls me not by name, but by a nickname that my friends came up with. He usually sounds a little annoyed but friendly and says, “Okay. Stop it,” “What are you doing, baby,” or “That’s it, come on.” It motivates me to focus or take action.
Ilya Shabshin
Consultant psychologist, leading specialist at the Psychological Center on Volkhonka
This entire collection speaks to what psychologists know well: most of us have a very strong inner critic. We communicate with ourselves mainly in the language of negativity and rude words, the whip method, and we have practically no self-support skills.
In Roman’s commentary, I liked the technique, which I would even call psychotechnics: “If I need an outside opinion, I try to imagine what one of the classics of sociology would say.” This technique can be used by people different professions. In Eastern practices there is even the concept of an “inner teacher” - a deep wise internal knowledge, to whom you can turn when you are having a hard time. A professional usually has one or another school or authority figure behind him. Imagining one of them and asking what he would say or do is a productive approach.
A visual illustration of general theme- this is Anastasia’s comment. A voice that sounds like your own and says: “Nastya, you are a fool! Don't be stupid. Stop it,” - this, of course, according to Eric Berne, is the Critical Parent. It’s especially bad that the voice appears when she feels “uncollected”, if her own actions cause dissatisfaction - that is, when, in theory, the person just needs to be supported. But the voice instead tramples into the ground... And although Anastasia writes that he acts without humiliation, this is a small consolation. Maybe, as a “coach,” he presses the wrong buttons, and he shouldn’t motivate himself to action with kicks, reproaches, or insults? But, I repeat, such interaction with oneself is, unfortunately, typical.
You can motivate yourself to action by first removing your fears, saying to yourself: “Nastya, everything is fine. It’s okay, we’ll sort it out now.” Or: “Look, it turned out good.” “You’re great, you can handle it!” “And remember how great you did everything then?” This method is suitable for any person who is inclined to criticize himself.
The last paragraph in Ivan’s text is important: it describes psychological algorithm dealing with the inner critic. Point one: “Recognize interference.” This problem arises often: something negative is disguised, under the guise of useful statements, penetrates a person’s soul and establishes its order there. Then the analyst gets involved, trying to understand what the problem is. According to Eric Berne, this is the adult part of the psyche, the rational one. Ivan even has his own techniques: “go out into the space of complete emptiness,” “listen to intuition,” “move away from the meaning of words and understand everything.” Great, that's how it should be! Based general rules And common understanding about what is happening, you need to find your own approach to what is happening. As a psychologist, I applaud Ivan: he has learned to talk to himself well. Well, what he struggles with is a classic: the internal editor is still the same critic.
“At school we are taught to extract square roots and carry out chemical reactions, but they don’t teach you to communicate normally with yourself anywhere.”
Ivan has one more thing interesting observation: “You need to keep a low profile and be an excellent student.” Kira notes the same thing. Her inner voice also says that she should be invisible and everyone will like her. But this voice introduces its own alternative logic, since you can either be the best or keep your head down. However, such statements are not taken from reality: all this internal programs, psychological attitudes from various sources.
The “keep your head down” attitude (like most others) comes from upbringing: in childhood and adolescence a person draws conclusions about how to live, gives himself instructions based on what he hears from parents, educators, and teachers.
In this regard, Irina’s example looks sad. Close and important people- grandmother and friend - tell her: “Your hands are crooked, and you are incompetent,” “you are living wrong.” Arises vicious circle: her grandmother condemns her when things don’t work out, and her friend condemns her when everything goes well. Total criticism! Neither when it’s good, nor when it’s bad, there is no support or consolation. Always a minus, always negative: either you are incompetent, or there is something else wrong with you.
But Irina is great, she behaves like a fighter: she silences the voices or argues with them. This is how we must act: the power of the critic, no matter who he is, must be weakened. Irina says that most often she gets the votes by arguing - this phrase suggests that the opponent is strong. And in this regard, I would suggest that she try other ways: firstly (since she hears it as a voice), imagine that it is coming from the radio, and she turns the volume knob towards minimum, so that the voice fades out, it becomes worse audible. Then, perhaps, his power will weaken, and it will become easier to argue with him - or even simply brush him off. After all, such internal struggle creates quite a lot of tension. Moreover, Irina writes at the end that she feels guilty if she fails to argue.
Negative ideas penetrate deeply into our psyche early stages its development is especially easy in childhood, when they come from large authoritative figures with whom, in fact, it is impossible to argue. The child is small, and around him are the huge, important, strong masters of this world - the adults on whom his life depends. There's not much to argue with here.
During adolescence we also decide complex tasks: you want to show yourself and others that you are already an adult and not a small child, although in fact, deep down you understand that this is not entirely true. Many teenagers become vulnerable, although outwardly they look prickly. At this time, statements about yourself, about your appearance, about who you are and what you are like, sink into the soul and later become dissatisfied inner voices who scold and criticize. We talk to ourselves so badly, so disgustingly, as we would never talk to other people. You would never say anything like that to a friend, but in your head your voices towards you easily allow themselves to do this.
To correct them, first of all, you need to realize: “What sounds in my head is not always practical thoughts. There may be opinions and judgments that were simply learned at some point. They don’t help me, it’s not useful to me, and their advice doesn’t lead to anything good.” You need to learn to recognize them and deal with them: refute, muffle or otherwise remove the inner critic from yourself, replacing it with inner friend providing support, especially when it’s bad or difficult.
At school we are taught to extract square roots and carry out chemical reactions, but nowhere are we taught to communicate normally with ourselves. Instead of self-criticism, you need to cultivate healthy self-support. Of course, there is no need to draw a halo of holiness around your own head. When it’s difficult, you need to be able to cheer yourself up, support, praise, remind yourself of successes, achievements and strengths. Don't humiliate yourself as a person. Tell yourself: “In specific area, at a particular moment I may make a mistake. But to my human dignity it's not relevant. My dignity, my positive attitude towards myself as a person is an unshakable foundation. And mistakes are normal and even good: I will learn from them, develop and move on.”
Icons: Justin Alexander from the Noun Project