You can often hear indignant ladies talking about how modern men are irresponsible, lazy and not at all masculine. In many respects, of course, they are right. But it is women who most often raise their sons in such a way that they grow up to be infantile people. How to properly raise a boy so that he becomes a real man who is able to take responsibility for his actions and the people close to him? We will try to answer this difficult question in our article.
Developmental psychology
Education is a complex process that must begin at birth and continue throughout life. A man’s ability to engage in self-development in adulthood and acquire that very masculinity that women so want to see depends on how correct and successful it is in childhood and adolescence.
If it is important for a child to feel the boundless protection and love of his mother in the first years of his life, then 
As he grows older, the example and authority of his father should occupy an increasingly significant place in the boy’s life.
At the age of 7, the baby begins a new, very important stage of his life - the beginning of growing up. It is this period that will become the base on which he will unconsciously rely throughout his life.
You cannot start raising your son at the age of 10 and expect good results from him. It is pointless. In order to understand how to properly raise a boy of this age, it is necessary to know the characteristics of his psychophysical development in the period from 7 to 11 years.
These difficult years will become indicators of family relationships and will reveal all the upbringing mistakes made earlier.
Special age
Parents begin to reap the first fruits of their upbringing when their son reaches his tenth birthday. It is this age that is characterized by special changes in the physiology and psychology of the child.
In children aged 10 years, a rapid restructuring of the body begins, which is accompanied by the growth of the skeletal system and blood vessels. While the heart muscles do not always keep up with other organs.
The onset of puberty causes severe hormonal changes, which are responsible for the deterioration of memory and attention, and a decrease in intellectual abilities. Moreover, the excitability of the nervous system significantly exceeds the processes of its inhibition, which is expressed in irritability and resentment, harsh judgments and the inability to control one’s emotions.
Raising a 10-year-old boy cannot be successful without taking into account all these physical and mental changes.
Psychological manifestations of age
A 10-year-old child clearly shows changes in family relationships. The boy tries in every possible way to demonstrate his growing up and his own opinion on all issues. This is especially true for relationships with the mother. He begins to be rude and try to prove that he is right.
Emotional and unstable behavior peaks at age eleven. By this age, if the family’s behavior is incorrectly structured, depressive states and self-absorption, aggression and complete refusal to cooperate are possible.
A ten-year-old boy is beginning to be increasingly influenced by his peers. Surrounded by his peers, his behavior changes beyond recognition.
Educational activity is characterized by an unstable nature: restlessness is suddenly replaced by thoughtfulness or excessive zeal.
Despite the outward aggressive desire for independence, during these years boys need support from their families more than ever. Without receiving the approval of loved ones, their anxieties and fears intensify, which leads to even greater isolation and aggressiveness.
Psychologists' studies have proven that 11-year-old boys have the lowest level of self-esteem compared to other age periods.
Team approval
If at the age of 7 for a boy the main motivational moment in life was education, when his worth was assessed based on educational achievements, then by the age of ten the situation begins to change. The boy no longer cares how the teacher evaluates him: his personal significance is formed through his authority among his peers. A fierce competition for leadership begins.
Starting from the age of eight, the child begins to study the boundaries of what is permitted, studying them more and more actively every year. Only boys explore this issue with practical actions that may end in breaking the law. The social development of 8-year-old children is gradually becoming more active.
At this time, it is important for parents to analyze every statement and statement of their son. During conversations, you should unobtrusively ask who the boy is friends with and what he does with his friends. Get ready for the fact that a growing man will no longer share everything at once.
At the same time, you should not reassure yourself that your son is friends only with “decent” guys. These boys also test the limits of their capabilities, experiment and prove their leadership.
In the children's team, a clear distribution of roles begins, and it is based on relationships with peers. As a rule, the position determined by the team at the age of 8 becomes unshakable, and it is quite difficult for a boy to move to “another level.”
Leader, assistant, weakling, scapegoat, nerd - this is an approximate list of basic positions that are most often distributed subconsciously.
Boys who know how to defend their position become leaders and their assistants. And more often 
They usually do this with their fists. If for some reason a child cannot stand up for his “honor,” his authority among his peers drops sharply and it will be extremely difficult for him to correct the situation.
When raising children of this age, it is important to take into account the main contradiction: the desire to be the same as everyone else and to stand out clearly among their peers. Boys’ self-affirmation occurs through friendship with older children, whose authority is unshakable for them. That is why at this age there is a great danger of addiction to bad habits and obscene expressions.
Requirements and control
When working with children, it is now very important to regulate demands and their presentation. Let us remember that an adult is no longer an authority, so all demands and requests are perceived as incorrect and unnecessary.
The child begins to determine life values for himself, which can often run counter to parental ideals. He does not yet fully understand their meaning and content, but begins to fiercely defend them, entering into conflicts that seem stupid and senseless to adults.
Moreover, the period of secondary education involves the work of different teachers, each of whom has their own position and requirements. The boy gradually moves into “his territory”, in which there is less and less space for adults.
Self-affirmation is an essential element of growing up. Stubbornness and unwillingness to be under the control of adults increasingly takes the form of conflict. It is now that boys choose those demands that they are ready to obey, since they do not violate their “sovereignty.” The correct position of adults will allow them to make the right choice, because their entire future position in life depends on it.
At the age of eight, the first emotional experiences associated with the opposite sex begin to appear. At the same time, boys do not know how to correctly express their emotions. The task of adults is to guide them in the right direction, explaining that the manifestation of such feelings is natural and necessary.
Under no circumstances should you laugh at a boy’s feelings, especially in the presence of his peers! After all, you can undermine his authority, which will be difficult for him to regain again.
This period is dangerous with experiments. The boys demonstrate their courage, strength and dexterity. Exactly 
Therefore, news reports are constantly updated with information about boys taking selfies on the roofs of high-rise buildings or moving trains. Brutal fights, which must be recorded on a mobile phone camera, are another way to prove your courage.
During this period, parents are obliged to know as much as possible about their sons and control their actions as unobtrusively as possible! Otherwise, the demonstration of superiority can end very badly.
The right cooperation
How to raise a 9-year-old boy so that he grows up to be a real man?
First of all, raising a boy during this period should be based on cooperation and trust. Moreover, on the son’s trust in his parents, and not vice versa.
Adults should give the boy the opportunity to realize himself in society, teach him to identify the most effective and correct ways of communication, and correct low self-esteem and shortcomings. Only with the help of parents can personal contradictions be avoided.
If adults do not take an active part in the self-affirmation of their sons, encourage reasonable boundaries of freedom and the ability to defend their position correctly, this is fraught with the following consequences:
- The child becomes aggressive, thus expressing a protest against the rejection of adults;
- Cynicism and manipulation of human weaknesses appear, and most often parents come under fire;
- Hypocrisy and weakness will become a manifestation of self-affirmation through intrigue and adaptation to circumstances;
- The inability to protect oneself from the aggression of stronger ones is expressed in a constant search for patrons. In male society, such boys are usually called “sixes.”
To avoid such abnormal manifestations of development, raising children of this age should help satisfy the two most important needs:
- The need to communicate with peers. It is important to encourage any communication with peers outside of school;
- The need to affirm one’s own tastes and preferences. Do not prevent the boy from choosing games, friends or clothes on his own. After all, forming your own opinion and line of behavior is only possible through trial and error.
Remember! It is not the growing sons who should adapt to your value system. It is you, the parents, who must be able to adapt in time and learn to cooperate with your child. The difficult period of growing up does not tolerate authoritarianism; it requires partnership.
- Find the golden mean between severity and affection. Both are vital for growing boys;
- The child should feel that his parents will always come to the rescue and support him in any situation. Help should not consist in punishing the offender, but in clarifying the conflict situation, with its full analysis;
- Give the boy freedom of choice; this is the only way he can grow up to be a man who is aware of the responsibility for his actions;
- Don't criticize, but give hints;
- Don't let your son feel humiliated: don't insult him;
- Love your child and be sure to tell him about this love as often as possible. Regardless of age, a son wants to know that his parents love him not for his achievements, but because he is their son.
Raising a 10-11 year old child is a difficult task. Only those parents who managed to show maximum respect and love for their growing son during this difficult period will be able to cope with it.
This beautiful and difficult age is 10-11 years old.
The fourth year of primary school completes the first stage of a child’s school life. Fourth graders are graduates of elementary school. This is a very difficult age. Psychologists identify the age of 7-10 years as junior school, and 11-15 years as adolescence. Thus, the age of 10-11 years is, as it were, in limbo, that is, the child is not yet a teenager, but no longer a junior schoolchild. Everything is mixed up here, and therefore girls, and then boys, become partially uncontrollable, which is typical for teenagers, but on the other hand, 10-11 year old children are extremely flexible, ready for change and open to cooperation.
The key event in the psychophysical development of 10-11 years of age is puberty. From this point of view, our fourth graders are undoubtedly teenagers. This greatly influences their behavior - rebellion and conflict appear. Scientists call this first stage of adolescence locally capricious. Negative manifestations in home behavior, for example, rudeness towards mother, are sharply increasing, and at the same time, good manners and goodwill outside the family. At school, this means unevenness in diligence, a low level of attentiveness, greater distractibility, and forgetfulness. Children of this age are characterized by extreme emotional instability due to physiology - the rates of growth and development of various functional systems of the body are mismatched. There is a replacement of educational activity as the leading one (which was typical for younger schoolchildren) with the leading activity - communication.
Unfortunately, we adults often miss this age and do not become a friend to our child. Subsequently, many parents pay for this with the most acute social problems of mature adolescence: a high percentage of pregnancies among 14-15 year old girls, the rise of teenage crime, drug addiction, and teenage suicide. Scientists trace the germs of these negative manifestations and find them precisely at the age of 10. That is why now you and I need to be especially attentive to our children.
Dependence on the company of peers increases sharply. This is especially true for those children whose parents are too authoritarian, or, conversely, too lenient towards negative manifestations in their child’s behavior.
This period proceeds more easily in families where warm relationships reign, where the child feels the love of all loved ones combined with benevolent demands. In such families there are traditions, everyone knows their simple duties and will always come to the rescue.
Children easily succumb to the influence of others, especially older teenagers, in order to seem like adults themselves. Therefore, parents should strive to become a friend to their child, so that your place is not taken by a teenager from the gateway. Talk to your child as often as possible. Teach him that in case of any trouble, no matter what happens to him, he must run home. Here and only here they will help you, save you, understand you and regret you. Write notes to each other with funny words, and not just “wash the dishes, sweep, take out the trash, etc.” Actively listen to the child, ask again, that is, express your interest in his problems with all your might. Remember individual names, events and details that the child tells you about. Use them later to initiate in-depth conversations about school. If he sits at the computer all day, ask him to teach you how to play too. Try to chat with him in his language, and then you will quietly move on from games to what is really important and necessary.
Try to resolve all conflicts peacefully. No need to quarrel. Most often, parents are annoyed that the child cannot restrain himself. But he really can’t! He doesn’t have a physiological basis for this, especially boys. Boys develop an active will, which is based on processes of excitation and drives them to search for new sensations, impressions, and gain experience. Girls are more restrained, since their inhibition processes are better developed. Therefore, we will take into account the physiology of our child, and first we will count to ten, and then we will begin the “debriefing”. Of course, punishment is an integral part of education. But this is not revenge for the fact that the child dared to disobey me. Punishment is an order, and that means it is necessary to explain, and maybe even show, how one should have acted. It is necessary to demonstrate that punishment is a parental duty: “It’s hard for me to punish you, but I have to.” Punishment is the deprivation of pleasure. But the hardest thing is deprivation of communication. Ignore a child very carefully; this can seriously injure some children. But in any case, remain a friend to the child. Tell him about your experiences at this age. Try to speak frankly about the most sensitive topics. Be open to communication with your child. Even if you don’t know or don’t understand something, don’t hesitate to tell him about it.
The following expressions should not be used:
I told you a thousand times...
How many times do you need to repeat!
What are you thinking about!
You are the same as yours...
- Leave me alone, I have no time!
Why is Lena like this, and you...
It is advisable to say:
You are my smartest (beautiful).
It's so good that I have you!
You're great!
I love you very much.
How well you did it! Teach me.
Thank you. I'm very grateful to you.
If it weren't for you, I would never have gotten through this.
Idleness is the enemy of childhood. It’s bad if a child is left to his own devices all day long. Try to have your children attend music school or sports clubs, or some other additional clubs. Firstly, this is the development of intelligence, and secondly, this is the development of the volitional sphere - organization, will, adherence to the daily routine. A child can be immersed in activities that will allow him to show his courage, achieve success, and gain self-confidence. Even in the old days they used to say that “the time of business gives you the mind, but the time of idleness gets into your head.” Anyone who passively spends their holidays, openly idle, subsequently pays with a decrease in their intelligence indicators.
The difficulty of 10-11 years of age is aggravated by the fact that children will begin a new stage of life - the transition to middle management. Several teachers instead of one, and each has its own character, its own requirements, its own approach to business. The pace of work increases, the requirements for the design of work change, new children appear, a different classroom - everything is new. The help and attention of parents at this time is especially important. Meet new teachers. You should know your child’s teachers not only by sight, but also by name and patronymic, just as they know you. At the same time, try to make them smile when they see you, and not turn white with anger. Ask teachers for advice when a problem arises. For teenagers, the teacher is no longer an unquestioned authority. Critical remarks may be made towards the teacher (“harmful historian”). It is important to discuss the reasons for dissatisfaction while maintaining the teacher's authority. Pay attention to any changes in your child's behavior.
Most schoolchildren begin to differentiate their educational interests and develop different attitudes towards academic subjects - they like some disciplines more, others less. The preference for certain academic subjects is largely due to the individual characteristics of the child. What if the child does not show any special preferences? Psychological research shows that there are no children who are incapable of anything. Even if a student does not stand out for his academic successes and, at first glance, is equally indifferent to all subjects, he will certainly show a tendency to better assimilate educational material of one or another content. It is precisely these inclinations, which indicate stronger aspects of the child’s development, that need to be supported. Look for any opportunities for your child to apply what they learn at school to activities at home. For example, calculate the required amount of ingredients for preparing a dish, the footage of wallpaper, translate a recipe from English with a dictionary, etc. If he loves movies, give him the book that the movie was based on. Take a look and you'll start reading.
Despite the appearance of adulthood, children need unobtrusive control from their parents, since they are not always able to navigate the new demands of school life. Be a friend to the child - and everything will work out for you.
10 years for a girl (and for a boy too) is not only a “round” date, but also the beginning of the crisis puberty (adolescence) period. This is a time associated with a huge number of emotional reactions (mostly negative, since most of them are provoked by a lack of understanding of one’s condition).
A 10-year-old girl transitions from childhood to adolescence
Age characteristics
Most of the changes at the age of 10 - 11 years old occur at the hormonal level, and psychology also changes. A certain independence appears in behavior, and the exclusive dependence on mom and dad gradually disappears. Every parent should treat this with understanding and accept the fact that the child has a need for communication outside the home and interests on which he can spend his personal time (and the child must have it).
Girls at 10 years old begin to feel like girls Attempts to overly control the social circle and activities of a growing girl can result in:
- Rebellion, a clear demonstration of insubordination (accompanied by anger, aggression, the desire to act “in spite of” results in truly unreasonable decisions that are dangerous to life and health).
- Indifference (ignoring all the demands of the mother and father).
- Conditional humility, which disappears as soon as the child is out of sight of the parents (accompanied by lies and the development of distrust of others).
- True humility (accompanied by a drop in self-esteem, lack of initiative, and a tendency to self-destruction).
Completely submissive behavior is dangerous by raising a weak-willed personality In each individual case, one of these behavioral tactics is predominant, but in general they can alternate with each other. This is due to the variability of the emotional state, which is typical for a girl aged 10 - 11 years. You should not worry about such instability; you just need to show, if possible, that you are ready to understand your child if he wants to explain himself to you or decides to discuss his condition.
Features of education
It happens that with the good intention of raising a “decent person,” parents raise their child in conditions of numerous “shoulds” and categorical “nos,” not supported by any explanations. The presence of such groundless (from the point of view of children) prohibitions is very difficult for a maturing person to bear, since cognitive processes are still active, the desire to explore the world around them is also a desire, and simply parental disagreement is no longer a sufficient argument to stop.
You shouldn’t rely only on prohibitions Remember: explain your decisions to your child.
It doesn't matter whether it's a girl or a boy - if your children know why you expect them to do certain things, they will be much more attentive to your requests. Talk to them about the consequences of possible misconduct. Not about punishment, but about how the offense will turn out for them personally.
How to conduct a dialogue correctly
You need to be able to talk to a 10-11 year old child. Never push your age or say that you “know better.” If you know, then explain, if you are worried, then tell me. Show your child that you are not just a parent, an authoritative person with power, but also a loving person who cares and tries to protect you from harm.
If you think that this is already clear, then there is a high probability that you are wrong. Speak out your reasons, your attitude. But be prepared that, even after listening to you, the child will act in his own way. This is inevitable, he gains his experience. It is quite possible that you will lose your temper over this - this is natural, but you must explain that the reason for your anger is not that the child himself is bad and disobedient, but because you are worried about his life and health.
You need to learn to talk to your child Also, in the process of communication, you should not compare children with their brothers and sisters, or with other people's children. This causes them to devalue themselves and doubt their abilities. Moreover, there is no need to shout at them.
Understand: it is in the ability to control oneself that adulthood is manifested.
This does not mean that an adult is a robot. Of course, we all experience emotions, but it is as we grow older that we acquire the skill of self-control. You cannot demand this from a child, but you can set an example for him.
Praise
It is impossible to compare children with someone not only in a negative, but also in a positive way.
Parents' mistakes in education That is, to say “You are beautiful (smart, kind, etc.)” will be true, but the option “You are beautiful (smart, kind), like ...” is wrong. Firstly, with such a comparison, children may get the feeling that they are not unique, not valuable in themselves. Secondly, there is a risk that there will be a desire to imitate in everything that other person they happen to be similar to, which again leads to a loss of individuality.
Single-parent families
Single-parent families have a special situation, and if a girl lives with her dad, it is advisable to make sure that she has an older “friend” (grandmother, aunt, nanny), who, from her own, female, position, will help in resolving certain issues. If you are in such a mentoring role, take it seriously, do not divulge the secrets entrusted to you, and do not ridicule the immature decisions of your mentee.
Single-parent family requires special treatment of the child It is quite possible that a 10-year-old girl will not dare to discuss any of the problems that concern her, so she should carefully “test” the situation, inadvertently touching on “difficult” topics and noting the reaction for herself. The fear of discussion is associated with the fear of showing one’s ignorance, stupidity or awkwardness. If you find out what exactly bothers the child, you can tell something funny about yourself on this topic. Let him see that everyone has failures and absurdities, and that there are no taboo topics for discussion.
Housework
First of all, you have to learn to consider a 10-11 year old teenager not only as a child, but also as a person who wants to make decisions on his own, without regard to what they will say or think about him. It is possible that he will view the performance of household duties not as an objectively necessary action, but as an act of submission to someone else’s will.
Discuss with the future hostess that you are not able to do everything around the house and it would be reasonable (if she is already old enough) to share the worries with her. Give her your “territory,” for which she will be responsible, entrust her with a certain (but strictly limited) list of matters that are under her jurisdiction.
At the age of 10, a girl must clean her own room Attention: if your child has a separate room, then there is no need to try to control the process, quality and frequency of putting things in order.
Better instead:
- Keep your room tidy (lead by example).
- Discuss the consequences of such negligence (the occurrence of allergic reactions and frequent illnesses due to excess dust and poor hygiene, the appearance of an unpleasant odor in clothes, to which classmates may react poorly).
- Be able to show a moderately positive reaction to the fact that your daughter has finally taken up cleaning (stormy enthusiasm, as well as ignorance, can cause a teenager to have a negative attitude towards the experience of housekeeping).
If your 10-year-old daughter does something outside the regulated list, then be sure to note how much she helped you, because this is not part of her responsibilities, and she spent her free personal time taking care of her family and household chores.
Joint holiday
According to most parents, by the age of 10 a modern child is not interested in anything other than phones, games and walks. But this is not the fault of the children, who are often left to their own devices for a long time. They have not only no habits, but even a single experience of other pastime options. Give him such an experience, do something together, agree that for one day (or at least for a few hours) you will put away the phone, TV, computer together and do something else.
Walking and relaxing together brings you closer together It doesn’t have to be “useful” leisure time; you can fool around, but in a special way. Practice creative activities together.
But! Always be prepared that your child will not agree with your proposal. He needs to be able to dream up his own imagination, try to come to an agreement. You can alternate days when your child plans activities and when you do it yourself. Do not try to adjust her plans to suit your needs, children sense this and may become seriously offended or lose motivation. But it is possible and even necessary to make reasonable comments regarding practical issues in a calm, non-critical manner.
Respect
Parents who want to achieve respect from their offspring must understand that the power of personal example is also at work here. There is no need to indulge all the child’s whims, but treating him with respect is a must.
In general, girls tend to behave more tactfully and have a greater sense of responsibility. They understand other people’s point of view more easily than boys, and therefore a respectful (as well as compassionate) attitude towards others is characteristic of them to a greater extent.
Psychology
At 10 - 11 years old, girls may be interested in psychology. Support this hobby, try to understand your inner world together. Read relevant literature, encourage your child to think about his inner state. Self-knowledge and self-development are exactly what will allow a child to develop self-confidence and socialize safely.
Psychological help from parents will help the child understand himself As one daughter told her mother when asked how to behave with children at age 10: “Be sincere and natural. And don’t overload with unnecessary information.”
Conclusion
There are no universal laws on how a boy or daughter should be raised at the age of 10-11 (or at any other age). Just be attentive to your children. These are actually individuals who a priori do not owe you anything. But if you want, you can become a reliable friend and an excellent teacher. Then they will listen to you and help of their own free will, and not under pressure, and this, you see, is much more pleasant.
Similar materials
What do we want to instill in children? Kindness, decency, courage, perseverance... Hand on heart, many of us limit ourselves to these very general concepts. But what exactly do they mean for each of us? What things are fundamentally important to me, and what are not so important?
It is very useful to ask yourself these questions and reflect on the “parental program”. And not on the run, but seriously, formulating and writing down your thoughts. After all, if our goals are vague, we miss a lot of important things that we could, but were unable to give to our children. To avoid this, writer Lindsay Mead created her “parenting program.”
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It seems like only recently that I was wondering what principles my daughter Grace should learn before she turns 10. But Whit is already approaching this mark. In less than 2 months he will be 10, and there will be no one left in our house whose age can be designated by one number. As with Grace, I'm always wondering what values and principles Whit needs to internalize without questioning them at all.
I think about this topic and even write down options, but at the same time I understand that not everything depends only on me. I know that what I do is more important than what I say. I should have behaved in accordance with these principles all the time, because over 10 years he managed to unknowingly adopt many of my principles and values.
I hope that I did a good job of teaching my son these principles by example.
Here's what I'd like him to have learned by the time he's 10:
1. Respect others. Both men and women. The headmistress of your school and the homeless man at the subway deserve equal respect. You already do it, instinctively. Please never change this principle.
2. Pranks and physical activity are healthy and fun. I know I shush you more often than I should because I prefer silence myself, but I'm working on it. Physical activity and even some wildness is completely normal. But there are also boundaries - physical violence is NOT normal. It is extremely important to understand where the border lies.
3. No means no. And period. It doesn't matter who says no and in what context.
4. Don't hide your sensitivity. You experience everything incredibly deeply - the passage of time, memories, love, losses. Don't suppress your feelings. You can be a strong and at the same time sensitive person. In fact, a rich palette of feelings makes you stronger. This is true for both boys and girls.
5. You cannot make another person happy - not me, not dad, not sister. No one. And it's not your responsibility. We all know this and I hope you will always remember this.
Don't let anyone make you feel responsible for his or her happiness.
You are responsible for yourself and for your attitude towards others, which, of course, can affect their mood. But don't let anyone make you feel responsible for his or her happiness. It makes me happy to know that you are succeeding, overcoming difficulties, feeling enthusiastic, enjoying life and living intentionally.
It's really good. I have not yet learned to stop time, but I know that when we pay close attention to everything that happens, even everyday life, we are rewarded with rich memories and days full of life.
7. Find something you are passionate about. No matter what it is, I don’t want to hear you say “I’m bored.” Never. There are so many interesting things around you to explore, learn and experience. I will support any of your hobbies, be it hockey, or programming, or playing the violin - or even all at once! But you have to find something you want to throw yourself into.
8. There can be nothing worse than being spoiled/ungrateful. I am a strict mother, although it is difficult for me to punish or scold. But if I notice the slightest manifestation of spoiledness or ingratitude, I will react instantly (and without any regret). You rarely have them, and it doesn't seem like you're naturally like that.
Please always remember how lucky we are. It is a huge privilege to live as we do every day. Little Sunday surprises, volunteering, helping the homeless, thank you notes - I tried to show you how lucky it is to live like our family. This is the best vaccination against spoilage and ingratitude.
9. Even if you don’t start doing something, you can still be wrong. I always remember one quote from Martin Luther King: “The silence of our friends hurts far more than the words of our enemies.” The gang leader or instigator is to blame, but those who followed him are also to blame. Don't be afraid to stand up to the popular kids when they do something bad. This hasn't happened yet, but I know it will happen someday.
10. I love you no matter what. Mistakes are part of life. I will love you even if you make mistakes. To learn something, you need to let go of the past and start again. I showed this in my own example, perhaps even too obviously: you are raised by a mother who is not afraid to show her weaknesses, who is not afraid to fail, apologize and start again.
Ten-year-old boys are on the threshold of a new period of life - puberty. No longer kids, they still have a couple of years before entering adulthood. In order to build a harmonious relationship with a future teenager and prepare him for growing up, parents need to know what a 10-year-old child should be able to do.
What makes up the environment of ten-year-olds?
In this period of human development, the social factor is decisive. Through its prism, the child sees himself. The student’s environment is formed at school and outside its walls, in the courtyard, in sections and circles. Now the social issue makes amendments to all areas of child development: physical, mental and creative. Parental participation is very important in the life of a future teenager: before the onset of a difficult period, he needs their support and approval.
Behavioral issues
When a person reaches a certain age, his personality type has already been formed. The question of time is individual, however, this often happens in children of 10 years old - this is an important feature of their personal development. Thus, a child who is focused on the inner world, calm and shy, is unlikely to become the leader of the company and a jokester. It is an introvert, and the subsequent stages of its maturation are associated with the formation of self-esteem, nurturing self-confidence and building comfortable relationships with the outside world.
Extroverts, on the contrary, will not stop being active in communicating with others. If for the first ten years of a child’s life he tries to study and understand himself through the multifaceted group (parents, kindergarten and primary school), then the teenager already has an understanding of his social abilities and intentions. The neuropsychic development of a 10-year-old child is aimed at training memory, perseverance and concentration - those qualities that are so necessary for a student in high school.
About imitation
Depending on the type of temperament, ten-year-old children are often not asocial: they move with the team in study, recreation, sports, etc. An important feature of this period is the reluctance of children to differ from their peers. Parents may notice new, unexpected habits emerging:
- culinary preferences;
- choice of clothes and shoes;
- speech patterns and way of expressing thoughts;
- hobbies, musical taste, etc.
The fact is that throughout the entire path of a person’s formation - from birth to adulthood, he learns about the world by imitating it. In infancy, role models are parents and those closest to them, then older brothers and sisters. During the period before puberty, the child’s main environment – his peers – serves as an example for the child. On the parent’s side, worries about the lack of individual taste are unfounded: with the transition to a new status, the child will have new guidelines, and one day he himself will become his own guideline.
By the way, try to develop your child’s creative interest. At the age of 10, creativity stimulates personality development. Support your child's desire for self-expression.
Physical indicators
The development of the human body at ten years of age, as at other ages, is individual. The specificity of this period is a leap in development in girls, with a still apparent calm in boys. Thus, classmates may seem very different from the outside: schoolgirls have already entered the period of growing up, and the guys still look like children. The development of 10-year-old girls is already different from the physical development of a child: hormonal changes imply the opening of new horizons. It is typical that at this age children are looking for company among representatives of their gender.
The physical development of a child at 10 years old also has a number of features associated with preparation for puberty. The body is preparing to accumulate important nutrients and elements that it will need in the foreseeable future for enhanced growth. Many guys experience a change in body constitution: thin ones turn into plump ones, weighing much more. This change is normal, however, it can be perceived painfully by the children from an emotional point of view. In rare cases, it even leads to depression. A 10-year-old child must be able to take care of his body in order to cultivate physical and mental stability. What useful skills should he develop?
- Compliance with the diet and nutritional culture. The diet of a ten-year-old student implies variety and usefulness. The physical activity of the children requires an emphasis on complex carbohydrates in their menu. Add durum wheat cereals and pasta to your daily diet. And due to the serious mental load on students, their sufficient intake of nutrients, salts and minerals should be monitored. Nutritionists also draw the attention of parents to proteins of animal origin: their deficiency is fraught with growth problems for the future teenager. But you can be greedy with sweets: excess fats are of no use to a young body.
- Building an individual schedule. The student’s daily routine is subject to the school schedule. Experts recommend sticking to the same idea for planning your free time. You can organize training in the sports section every Tuesday and Thursday, and on Wednesday and Friday make it a habit to go for a family walk. An alarm clock and an organizer (even on a phone) will help the student. Teach him how to use them. At the age of ten, a student is already able to plan his own time.
A high school student spends most of his day in class. He already has basic knowledge of basic subjects. Time is allocated in the daily schedule for reading and doing homework independently.
Figurative memory
Due to the increasing mental load at school, it is necessary that memory development exercises be present in the educational process. A 10-year-old child has so-called figurative memory: it is easier for him to describe the details of the appearance of an object than for its purpose. Thus, the explanation of complex concepts should always be oriented towards division into parts. Visualization is a trump card for quickly memorizing objects and concepts. When doing exercises, game work and tests, try to design them brightly, drawing attention to the appearance of the material.
Attentiveness and perseverance
It's no secret that a ten-year-old child is not known for his perseverance. Support him in his pursuit of diversity. After lessons, physical “unloading” is necessary. At home, you need to do a number of exercises to develop attention. A 10-year-old child’s picture of the world is still complete; break it down into fragments together. Teach him to concentrate on one object and describe it in as much detail as possible. During such an activity, try to eliminate all possible irritants: mobile phone, radio, open window. The student's attention is easily switched to foreign objects, and the mind is clouded by extraneous thoughts.
Intelligence and nervous system
The psychological development of a 10-year-old child is very active. The formation of the cranial bone has already been completed, now the body concentrates on the functional formation of the nervous system. In terms of performance, brain activity begins to approach adult levels. The effect of pathogens is smoothed out, boys and girls are increasingly in control of their emotions. The guys' speech and their thinking go hand in hand. Having a minimum vocabulary of 4 thousand units, students are capable of freely expressing “non-childish” thoughts. Experts in the field of child psychology note that the intensive intellectual development of a child under 10 years of age can cause this transition to shift to an earlier date. Everything suggests that the student is ready for new changes, intellectual and physical.