One of the fundamental concepts of Christianity, and we constantly hear, read, and pronounce this word. But there is another word - “guilt”. In church life, in our religious life, we hear it much less often than the word “sin”; one gets the impression that the word “guilt” is not from the church dictionary. What is guilt? Essentially this is external result, a consequence of our sin, and also our debt, often unpayable. We caused damage to other people, we became the cause of their suffering, and through us a certain “amount” of evil entered the world. Even if we have the opportunity to somehow repay the people who suffered from us, at least apologize to them - who will give them back that time, those vitality that are taken away by the pain we bring? Even if these people have forgiven us - and some of them are inclined to forgive because kindred love, - should this make us feel better? And how often it happens that we have no opportunity to make amends, what we have done is irreparable, the debt is unpaid - completely.
One woman - subtle, sensitive, deeply religious - convinced me that through our repentance, the guilt is erased, the wounds inflicted by us heal, and if the person who suffered from us is already in the next world, then there is no need to worry at all: he feels good , and if it’s bad, it’s not our fault. After my first confession, I asked the priest if this was so. The priest replied: it is permissible to hope for this, but there can be no certainty or peace of mind.
Those who definitely cannot have peace of mind are those who, at least involuntarily (if voluntarily, then that’s a different conversation) caused death. As a journalist, I know of several cases where the perpetrators of tragedies caused by carelessness, lack of foresight, inability to handle weapons, etc., committed suicide. It is hardly worth recounting these cases here. I will only say that I am unable to forget these people and that in each of them I see myself: this did not happen to me, but it could have happened! For minutes it seems: in order to live myself, I need to find some convincing arguments for the person who killed himself, some reasons to tell him: “Live.”
In these cases, the Church says precisely “live”: suicide is prohibited for a Christian. But, calling a person to life, she cannot help but answer the question: “How to live now?” And she answers this question, no matter what guilt, lethal or non-lethal, we ask her about. One should not think that Christianity does not have an answer to the question of living with guilt.
First of all, what are we looking for, what do we want, when asking how we should live? We want to feel better; we seek peace, maybe even comfort. In other words, the opportunity to sleep peacefully. But the holy fathers of the Church did not seek peace for themselves, did not count on it. In order to be convinced of this, it is enough to open the usual prayer book: “What evil have I not committed, what sin have I not committed in my soul...” (Rev. Simeon Metaphrastus). This attitude towards the evil done is completely opposite to the common psychotherapeutic advice to “leave the past to the past”; forget about what can no longer be corrected; Don’t waste yourself “in vain.” The saint cannot and does not want to forget about the evil he has done. He prefers to see his earthly life just the way she is. For what? In order to cleanse yourself by repentance. This is only possible by imagining yourself realistically. We, today, simply cannot do without a sense of our own positivity; We cannot, it seems, exist without mentally counting ourselves among the bright part of humanity: “Of course, I have shortcomings, and I did some things wrong in my life, but on the whole I good man. Well, I’m not the same as all the scoundrels out there!” And a clear vision of what we have done, the memory of it, takes us out of this Pharisee state.
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Of course, you wouldn’t wish such a cross on anyone, but it seems to me that a person who has hit someone with a car and is truly worried about it (not everyone is, many justify themselves here too) will never do evil consciously. He will never be cruel, callous, or arrogant. Of course, this doesn’t make it any easier for the victim’s loved ones, but I’m not trying to soften the situation - it’s truly terrible. However, the one who caused it will die if he turns away from it, finding a way to justify himself or simply managing to forget; and will be saved if he accepts all its horror to the end.
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Yes, this is not a projection on a wall, not on some kind of screen - on human souls, on destinies; This is a bitter, terrible help, but who is to blame that we do not accept other help, that we do not hear the voice of God sounding in secret?
The more wine, the fewer false exits and side paths it leaves for a person; a person crushed by enormous guilt must inevitably understand that he now has only one path - upward, to the One who said to the thief: “Truly I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise” (Luke 23:43).
I know (also as a journalist, as a court reporter) people who are unable to accept this gospel episode. How is it possible: he cut and slaughtered people, robbed and robbed on the roads, and then said a few words - and off to heaven! Where's the justice?
And it is in the words of the Prudent thief, who finally understood what was happening: “We are condemned justly, because we accepted what was worthy of our deeds, but He did nothing bad” (Luke 23:41). This is how Saint John of Shanghai spoke about this robber in one of his sermons:
“Looking at Him, the robber seemed to awaken from deep sleep. He clearly saw the difference between Him and himself. He is an undoubted Righteous One, forgiving even His tormentors and praying for them to God, Whom He calls His Father. He is a murderer of many victims, shedding the blood of people who did him no harm.
Looking at Him hanging on the cross, it was as if he saw his moral fall in a mirror. All the best that was hidden in him awakened and was looking for a way out. He realized his sins, realized that only his own guilt led him to a sad end and he had no one to blame. Therefore, the angry mood against the executioners, which possessed the thief crucified on the other side of Christ, and initially himself (see: Matt. 27:44), was replaced in him by a feeling of humility and contrition. He felt the fear of God's judgment coming upon him.
Sin became disgusting and terrible for him. At heart he was no longer a robber. Philanthropy and mercy awoke in him. With fear for the fate of his soul, he was combined with disgust for the outrage that was taking place against the innocent Sufferer.”
The robber would not have entered the heavenly abode if he had forgotten what he was doing. He came in precisely because he remembered.
The Church, by the way, honors not just one Prudent Thief - many; one of them is the holy martyr Moses Murin. His life is striking - precisely with its martyrdom. He accepted death at the hands of the robbers who attacked the monastic monastery as a desired retribution for himself, as a natural and necessary consequence of the murders that he himself committed. As confirmation Christ's words: “All who take the sword will perish by the sword” (Matthew 26:52). This is what the memory of wine does to a person.
“Remembering all this evil that I committed in those years is the hardest thing for me... This whole nightmare... Karamazov’s dirt... All this happened in the absence of my Christian faith...” - this is from the diary of a chemistry professor, spiritual writer, ascetic, secret enlightener of the disadvantaged Soviet Russia. In his youth he was a Bolshevik, a commissar, and served in the Cheka. And then all his life he was driven by great repentance.
But can an ordinary person, far from ascetic feats, withstand this burden purely psychologically? permanent memory about wine? Is he capable of being under such tension day after day? After all, he needs rest, he needs some kind of acceptable well-being, and, in the end, he needs a restful sleep - so as not to burn out...
The prayers of the evening rule speak about sleep more than once: “And now let me fall asleep without condemnation,” “grant me a peaceful and serene sleep,” “...may I lie down in peace, sleep and rest...” At some point, as they say, I It dawned on me: we are not talking here about getting a good night’s sleep, but about ensuring that we, who do not actually have the right to the peace we need, receive it by the grace of God - precisely because we cannot do without it. And this applies not only to sleep - to our entire Everyday life. Our guilt does not deprive us of the right to autumn forest, to the spring air, to the sea surf, to friendship and love, to creativity and knowledge. Because it is He who gives us everything. And we will do badly if we do not accept His gift.
At every liturgy we hear a cry of repentance that burst from the chest of the psalmist king after the prophet Nathan pointed out to him his terrible guilt. Having truly listened to this text, a person is surprised. What does David ask for, having destroyed the honest and valiant Uriah because of his lust? He asks for something that seems impossible after such an act: joy. “Reward me with the joy of Your salvation and strengthen me with the Lord’s Spirit” (Ps. 50:14). But would David have been able to ask for joy for himself if he had not seen, without any embellishment and self-justification, both the depth of his fall and the horror of its consequences for other people?
The phrase “Christian guilt complex” has become quite common. Very often we come across statements that Christians acquire this complex due to regular confessions. Why does the Church “subject” its flock to such “harsh psychological pressure”? Especially during Lent, when clergy recommend that parishioners go to confession every week?
Confession and various complexes
Opponents of Orthodoxy give an unequivocal answer to this - “The Church wants to turn believers into notorious whiners, incapable of independent thoughts and actions.”
"One of the main ideas underlying Christendom– this is the idea of guilt. General guilt before God for the mythical “original sin” of the first couple of people. Even Small child, just born, is already guilty before God. After all, he was born “in sin.” According to some sources, Jesus Christ atoned for this sin, but even in this case, we sin continuously, and, therefore, we are guilty every second of our lives...
A constant feeling of guilt has a deeply destructive effect on a person’s personality, any psychologist will confirm this to you. It is this feeling that they strive to instill in childhood, trying to introduce children to the church as early as possible. They are endlessly drummed into guilt and shame for any actions little man. For aspirations and desires. After all, an adult is less susceptible to the effects. Such lessons cause maximum harm to an unformed personality.
Remaining in the subconscious, they will subsequently create a new unit - “Servant of God”.
The feeling of guilt instilled in the adherents also forms the basis of the power and authority of the church.”(). - This is a completely typical line of thought of anti-Christians (spelling and punctuation are the author’s). Similar claims are made by the Church in one form or another - both by neo-pagans, and vulgar materialists, and simply by ordinary people who have a very vague idea of Christianity.
Well, let's look at the Sacrament of Confession (Repentance) with scientific point vision and let's try to understand how much this Sacrament contributes to the development of personality, or vice versa - destroys personality.
« The good God gave conscience to the primordial people - the first divine law. God wrote conscience deeply into human hearts, and since then everyone inherits conscience from their parents. If a person does something wrong, then his conscience, working inside him, convicts and leads him to repentance. However, we must engage in correct spiritual work and test our conscience in order to always be able to hear its voice... ...In order to be sure whether we are really acting according to the voice of our conscience, we must watch ourselves and open ourselves to our confessor"- teaches the blessed elder Paisiy Svyatogorets. Let us analyze the elder’s sayings from a scientific point of view. In the above quote, three main pieces of advice can be identified: “ examine your conscience», « take care of yourself" And " reveal yourself to your confessor" Actually, this is an almost exhaustive description of the practice of repentance.
Examine your conscience
« Examine your conscience“ means checking the compliance of your thoughts and actions with your ideals, reflecting, and developing the ability for self-esteem. Is it useful for a person to reflect?
« First, the individual must become an observer of his thoughts, feelings and actions, that is, intensify self-awareness. This helps him notice the inconsistency, mutual incompatibility of some of his thoughts, actions and principles, which, in turn, activates him internal dialogue, turning self-knowledge into self-education, into the conscious formation and consolidation of new, desirable elements of behavior", writes the doctor philosophical sciences, professor, academician I. Kon in work dedicated to human personality and her self-awareness. " Notice the contradictions in thoughts, actions and principles" - this is what it means " examine your conscience».
The famous Russian teacher K. Ushinsky, founder scientific pedagogy in Russia, he once developed special rules for himself, a unique program of self-education and self-development. The rules consisted of ten points and the eighth point was: “ Give a conscientious account of your actions every evening" That is, to remember and analyze your actions, check the compliance of actions and ideals.
As you can see, the Athonite elder, scientist Russian Empire And Soviet academician We agree: without regular “examinations of one’s conscience,” self-improvement is unthinkable. Therefore, the first advice of Elder Paisius completely stands up to the test of science. It is stupid to argue with the statement that in order to practice self-improvement, you must first decide which character traits should be developed and which should be suppressed, and for this you first need to comprehend your positive and negative sides.
Take care of yourself
Let's take it next tip - « should take care of yourself“- here the blessed elder Paisius recommends learning self-control. It’s a completely logical step after “dialogue with your conscience.” Now that you are already aware of your actions, you need to try to nurture your positive traits and eradicate negative ones.
« By nature I have a harsh character, I am quick-tempered, etc., etc. But I am used to restraining myself, because it is not proper for a decent person to let himself go"- Anton Pavlovich Chekhov tells about himself. Anton Pavlovich is an example of intelligence. And he became such - as we can see from the quoted letter - thanks to reflection and self-control. That is, first Chekhov thinks about his actions, compares them with the ideal of a “decent person.” And then he restrains impulses that lead to actions unworthy of the ideal, he fights with himself.
But the Venerable Simeon the New Theologian teaches that Repentance is precisely that - “ conscious struggle with oneself». « You have to fight with yourself. You need to educate yourself, friends. ...Identify your weaknesses, fight them. Set a goal - go towards it firmly!“- teaches, in turn, Academician of the USSR Academy of Sciences P. Kochin. As you can see, on the issue of self-education, the Byzantine ascetic and the Soviet scientist of modern times give the same recommendations: “Identify your negative traits and fight them!” Reflection and self-control. Therefore, the second advice of Elder Paisius also does not contradict science.
Reveal yourself to your confessor
Let's consider the elder's third advice - “ reveal yourself to your confessor" Here the opposition will be not only from opponents of religion as such, but also from representatives of religious movements that do not recognize “intermediaries between God and man.” In fact, let's say, thinking about your thoughts, motives, goals and actions is really useful. But why talk about the results of soul-searching?
Opponents of Orthodoxy claim that this is part of the Church's plan to enslave believers. " Only a visit to church and confession can remove the guilt. Therefore, the priest is the most necessary person for us; only he can “forgive sins.” And the church is the only place where this can be done. I think there is no need to explain that people with a guilt complex are easily controlled”(blogger starvera, “The Harm of the Christian Worldview”). Well, conspiracy theories are a good thing, of course. But let's turn to science again.
« We need to clearly evaluate own qualities, actions, habits, make, as doctors say, a diagnosis. You need to make a list of everything that you consider good and bad about yourself, and look at it more often. And you definitely need to talk about your shortcomings. Yes, yes, exactly talk! Let's be honest: after all, we often condemn ourselves for some action, but we condemn it mentally. And mentally, quite quickly and easily, we find an excuse for him and forgive ourselves. It’s harder to forgive yourself when you confess out loud"- wrote Professor S. Doletsky. Therefore, talking about your shortcomings is useful. And it’s a hundred times more useful to discuss your shortcomings with an intelligent, understanding and loving person, which will help you understand yourself and find ways to improve. It turns out that Paisius’s third advice can be considered “scientifically based.”
Thus, it turns out that the fears of anti-Orthodox conspiracy theorists are in vain. The sacrament of repentance by its very essence helps the development of a person as an individual. In addition, Repentance is a Sacrament in which the one who confesses his sins, with a visible expression of forgiveness from the priest, is invisibly absolved from sins by Jesus Christ Himself (Catechism).
And constant soul-searching in order to remember one’s sins does not contribute to the “emergence of various complexes,” but to the development of self-control and the ability to be demanding of oneself. Moreover, the Lord teaches us to put in order not only our affairs, but also our thoughts. Refuse not only from evil actions, but also from the thoughts that lead to these actions. This is why, and not at all because of a “guilt complex,” even Christian ascetics and saints call themselves “sinners.” This is not a matter of self-deprecation, but of recognizing the fact that there are no limits to self-improvement.
Certainly, individuals They can, through self-examination and self-criticism, drive themselves into frenzy, hysteria and depression. But this is a phenomenon of a different kind. And it stems from a misunderstanding of the essence of the Sacrament of Confession. An old Russian proverb says about such individuals: “ Make a fool pray to God, he will hurt his forehead!»
Number of entries: 16441
Hello, before installing a monument on a grave, is it possible to remove the cross from the grave and not put it up again?
Oleg
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Yes, that's what they usually do. The only thing is that you need to make an image of the Holy Cross on the monument itself.
Deacon Ilia Kokin
Hello! Please help me understand the dreams in which I see God, Jesus and the Virgin Mary, my dreams began from childhood and continue to this day, while I feel the dead in real world! I write poems and songs. I pray myself, try to keep all the commandments, go to church. But why do I feel this way about the world and everything connected with it?
Natalia
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There are probably people with a more subtle mental organization than others; they are more open to perception spiritual world is both a gift and a source of danger. Be careful, do not be arrogant and hold fast to Orthodoxy, and then, with God's help, Your abilities will not harm you.
Deacon Ilia Kokin
Tell me, what are the consequences of a second wedding without the blessing of the ruling bishop? Thank you
Bogdan
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I generally doubt that you will be married again without the blessing of the Ruling Bishop, at least it should not be so. But, if you hid this information and you were married, you need to repent of this at Confession. If you notified the priest about this, it is most likely the fault of the priest who performed the wedding. But, in any case, the only thing that can justify what happened is the creation of a strong Christian family, in which peace and love reign.
Deacon Ilia Kokin
Hello, website and TV project "God's Law". I wanted to draw all sorts of idols, but I didn’t, my heart asks me to draw the Blessed Virgin Mary, draw the Lord, the Son of God and Heavenly Angels, this is right? It torments me often devilry, when I was in the temple, I felt dizzy, what does this have to do with Satan? And why did it happen to me that when I kissed various icons, my hands froze, and why, when I kissed the crucifixion of Christ in the temple and kissed my feet, it took my breath away, maybe Satan lives in my subconscious? I know that Archangel Michael will help me, I love Archangel Michael, what prayers should I sing so that Archangel Michael will overcome Satan in me? God bless you.
Alyosha
Dear Alexey, it seems to me that you think much more about Satan than about God, but God is much closer to you than you think, you should not be afraid of Him and you should not think that Satan is able to take you away from God without your will - this is not this way. Pray, repent, take communion, and most importantly, do not be afraid. The Lord is good and wise, He will definitely protect all those who love Him.
Deacon Ilia Kokin
Good afternoon Is it possible to confess and receive communion while living in a civil marriage for 13 years? Thank you.
Elena
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If by “civil marriage” you mean a marriage registered in the registry office, then you can take communion, but if not, then the canons prohibit it. It may be true that you will be allowed to receive communion if the reason that you have not yet entered into a legal marriage is the reluctance of your chosen one. But this is already a reason to think about whether it is worth connecting your life with an irresponsible person.
Deacon Ilia Kokin
I am tormented by the question: why did God allow people to reproduce after the Fall, knowing that nothing good would come from this for people. Freaks are born, suffer, suffer and go into eternal torment without repentance. Perhaps it would have been more merciful to make the forefathers barren until they repented. Moreover, Adam and Eve repented towards the end of their lives. Why doesn't God wait, He knew that they would repent? Then there would be no need for salvation through torment and suffering.
Alla
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Of course, Adam and Eve repented of their sin, but their nature was already damaged. The birth of the Savior into the world was required for the seed of the Woman to crush the head of the serpent. But this required the procreation of the forefathers. The Lord, having come into the world, destroyed the ancestral sin, and now we are free to choose between good and evil.
It is best not to worry about the problems of the world order, God Himself will take care of this, but to pay more attention to your soul and correcting yourself from sins and passions, in which may the merciful Lord help us all!
Archpriest Andrey Efanov
Hello father. I really need your advice. I am married, I love my husband very much, but at a difficult moment I cheated on him, should I tell him about this, or is it enough to confess?
Anna
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It all depends on how your husband reacts to this and what chance he has of finding out about your betrayal from others, and what kind of family relationships you have. Previously, in the Church, confession was public, in front of all parishioners, but then Christians became worldly and confession became a secret. And in your situation, it may happen that your spouse leaves you or begins to cheat, unable to forgive your sin. But it’s best to discuss what the right thing to do is with a priest during confession. You must go to confession without delay; the sooner you repent of your sin, the less harm it will cause.
Archpriest Andrey Efanov
Is it possible to tattoo a Coptic Cross the way the Coptic Orthodox Church does by placing it on inner surface wrists?
Marusya
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Copts, by applying such a tattoo, are performing a feat of confession, but in our life it will look like an absurd farce. I do not advise you to do this.
Archpriest Andrey Efanov
Hello! Please tell me what prayers can be used to atone for sin? The fact is that several years ago I met a man. I liked him. But he was somewhat cold and indifferent to me, as it seemed to me. A book of conspiracies caught my eye. And I, under the influence of emotions, decided to read a spell for melancholy. Now I really regret it. I understand that this is a terrible sin. I repent. Tormented by guilt and fear. In advance, thanks for your answer!
Anastasia
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You don’t need to atone for your sins, this is a common misconception, but rather repent of them. Start your spiritual life with repentance and confession, go to church regularly, pray daily at home, read the Gospel and spiritual literature, try to keep the commandments of Christ, and then your life will change, fears will pass, and feelings of guilt will be replaced by gratitude to God for what He has changed He made you a Christian, living entirely by what is most important in human life.
Archpriest Andrey Efanov
Hello, father. I am 22 years old, I was baptized as a child, and I am completely confused about what I am doing in life. I have a girl from my first marriage; the marriage was not consummated. We separated. Then there was my repentance, but it didn’t last long, I got involved with someone else, lived in a civil marriage for several years, had quarrels, but could no longer - either torment myself, or torment him - we separated. Recently I caught myself thinking that I was almost constantly thinking about another person. It even seems to me that there is some kind of connection between us, there is always pain in my head because it seems like this is him, it’s definitely him, but I have already caused him so much pain - I had a child, and was married, then lived with another one almost before his eyes that he doesn’t even let me get close to him. What is this, have I already lost my mind? Because I've never felt such a connection before. Or am I going down the wrong path again? Thanks a lot.
Anastasia
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Dear Anastasia, the first thing you need to do is cool down. Make decisions on hot head very dangerous. Perhaps the object of your new affection does not feel pain at all from your previous life. Maybe he loves you for who you are, or maybe he doesn’t think about you at all.
You need to think about yourself, about the way of life that is unlikely to lead you to God, about eternity, on the threshold of which we all stand and do not know when our last earthly moment awaits us. If you turn your gaze to God, start going to church, praying at home, reading the Gospel and spiritual literature, in general, leading a Christian life, then other problems will be solved. The Lord will undoubtedly help you in solving them.
Archpriest Andrey Efanov
Is it possible to confess and receive communion in female disease with bleeding?
Elena
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You can always go to confession, but take communion only if the illness is protracted. In any case, you need to tell the priest about the disease.
Archpriest Andrey Efanov
Hello, father. Tell me, please, is it a sin to ask God to forgive Satan, because he is also his child according to Scripture, and is it a sin to ask Satan to recognize God so that there is no enmity on earth? You can't do this anymore, you can't. After all, now the son is killing his father. I can no longer look at what is happening here. And do I have a chance of salvation after such requests? Understand, I feel sorry for all people. I don’t understand where the kindness went? Yes, here’s another thing - does it count? terrible sin what I thought was that it would be better if Christ alone died instead of many innocent children who were killed on the orders of Herod. Since the figure is terrible, and I love children... And that’s not all, when I read that God sent his Angel to save his son, I accidentally called him names and accused him of saving his son, but 14,000 I didn’t save the children. Now I can’t find peace in my soul and I reproach myself all the time. Will the Lord God forgive me for these sins, because I just love children. And God looks into the heart. Do I have a chance of salvation after this? I want to serve God faithfully and truly. And for Jesus Christ I cry that he was executed so terribly.
Anna
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Anna, I knew one priest who, having acquired the gift of spiritual contemplation, cried, remembering the suffering of Christ, sincerely pitied Satan and prayed for his forgiveness, worried about the death of the Bethlehem babies, sincerely sympathized with Judas and was very compassionate for the weakness of Peter. He had many other virtues. I slept several hours a day, read the Psalter and Gospel weekly, read 4-5 canons and one or two akathists daily. His spiritual life surprised and aroused the desire to follow his feat. But when I asked him how I could acquire the same compassion and such a gift of prayer, he answered me that if I rushed, I would fall into spiritual deception and this would lead to my destruction.
You not only have a chance to escape, but with your character it is easier than for others. Another thing is that without prayer feat and without spiritual guidance With an experienced priest, all this can easily turn into harm. Start looking for a confessor, this is very important for you!
Archpriest Andrey Efanov
Tell me, for the first time in my life I decided to fast, confess and take communion, I didn’t know anything about it, I fasted for 4 days, came to church, it turned out that before Easter I held a festive service, and then somehow everything happened on its own , and I understood that it was communion, it turns out I didn’t confess! I’m very upset about this, what should I do?
Maria
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Hello! It is imperative, without delay, to prepare a confession for the rest of your life, and do not forget to tell what happened with Communion. You need to repent of your foolishness so that the Lord will have mercy. Prepare a complete confession from baptism according to benefits to confession. I can recommend “The Experience of Constructing a Confession” by Archimandrite John (Krestyankin). Write down your sins in a book, our memory is not perfect, to remember everything, and go to confession, preferably on a weekday or on the day the priest is on duty, so that you can confess calmly, without haste. Read about the Sacrament of Communion. . And, without embarrassment, next time do everything as it should be. You need to take communion regularly, at least once a month. With God blessing!
Priest Alexander Starodubtsev
Hello, father. We recently cleaned the temple. And when they finished cleaning, one parishioner asked to take home the rags that were used to wash the floor, windows, wipe the icons, etc. and wash them. At the same time, she said that the water in which the rags were rinsed (washed) should not be poured down the drain, but should be poured under a tree. And especially from under those rags that were used to wash the salt and pulpit. Of course, I understand that the rags that were used to wash the floor are not used to wipe the floor. dining table, and, moreover, they do not wipe icons. But not to pour water into the sewer - I don’t understand this. Or am I not right? Explain, please. Thank you.
Tatiana Ch.
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Hello!
Usually, the water in which, for example, liturgical vestments, altar vestments, or plates used to wipe the mouth after communion are not drained into the sewer. I think the water from under the rags that were used to wash the salt and pulpit can still be poured into the sewer.
Priest Alexander Starodubtsev
Hello! Please tell me, is it possible to get married with rings that you got from your parents? They had a wedding and are divorced.
Oksana
It is possible, before the wedding, the rings are consecrated on the Throne and blessed again by the priest before they are put on in the Sacrament itself.
Priest Alexander Starodubtsev
Hello. Please tell me what to do if grandpa drinks? Grandmother lives with him. And this has been going on for 40 years now. I’m scared for my grandmother, for her health, scared that she won’t be able to bear it and will go to jail because of him! Please tell me what to do, or is there nothing else?
Anastasia
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Hello!
Grandfather must be lovingly explained that the Church and God himself teach that drunkenness is a mortal sin. Drinking wine, vodka, etc. without measure and bringing a person to an unconscious state and lack of repentance (i.e., stopping this sin) can become an obstacle to the salvation of the soul. And not only will he not be saved, but he will suffer forever in hell from his passion, with which the soul did not fight. After all, before the revolution they didn’t perform funeral services not only for suicides, but also for those who died from drunkenness, who in fact were also suicides, tell him about that.
Let's remember some words:
“Take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with gluttony and drunkenness and the cares of this life, and lest that day come upon you suddenly” (Luke 21:34), says the Lord.
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor wicked people, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Cor. 6:9-10), writes the Apostle Paul.
All relatives need to pray for him and explain to him himself what it is grave sin, let him pray himself, in order to get away from this sin, persuade him to go and confess it.
If you have a physical opportunity, go with him or yourself to the miraculous image Mother of God“Inexhaustible Chalice” in the Serpukhov Vysotsky Monastery, order prayer services in front of the image, pray yourself and wait for help Holy Mother of God and the Lord with patience. If this is not possible, you can order a prayer service before this image in any temple where it is available.
Priest Alexander Starodubtsev
Catholic colleagues treated me to Easter cake and eggs at work on Holy Monday. They already have a holiday, but we have Lent. I didn’t eat it, then I fed it to the pigeons. What if they were sanctified? In the evening at home I read how to one person who did not eat, when everyone was at the meal, and he was served separately, the elder said that it would be better for him if he ate meat. On the one hand, I couldn’t eat, on the other hand, for some reason I was restless in my soul. What was the right thing to do in order to avoid blasphemy, not to violate the will of God, not to offend a person?
Olga
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To offend a person by refusing to share a quick meal with him, even if this moment If you are fasting, there is no need. On the other hand, it’s hard for me to believe that a Catholic believer would be offended if he were told: “You know, we’re still in Holy Week and strict fasting.” What kind of grievances can there be here? It seems to me that it would be better to politely refuse than to take food that you do not intend to eat. It’s one thing to have a monastery where, contrary to the general rules, you take upon yourself your own post, but it’s a completely different thing when you, even if you are among people of other faiths, hold a post established by the Church.
Priest Alexander Gumerov
Hello! Tell me how to get rid of the feeling of fear? I'm always afraid of everything, no matter what I do. Every day I ask the Lord to help, but for some reason I’m still afraid of everything. Please help and pray for me if you can. Thank you
Alexander
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Dear Alexander! The feeling of fear is very serious problem. To overcome it, it is not enough to simply remind yourself that God protects man, and under this cover of God he has nothing to fear. To feel truly protected, a person must feel this presence of God and learn to trust God. How to do it? It seems to me that the best way a person can cultivate trust in God is through gratitude. God really cares about us constantly, but we either do not notice His care for us, or take it for granted. If we try to pay more attention to these gifts of God, we will feel that we are truly in His hands. If something good and good has happened in your life, hurry to turn to the Lord with a short prayer of gratitude. In the evening, when you pray before going to bed, it seems to me that it is also appropriate to think and try to remember the mercies of God that He sent you today.
Then you will not only feel Him permanent presence next to you, but also learn to appreciate His care for you. And if He is always there and takes care of you, then why should you be afraid?!
Priest Alexander Gumerov
Hello! Tell me, how can I atone for the sin of attempting suicide? And another question: is it possible to completely atone for the canons and prayers and confess the sin of abortion in confession? Or is this sin impossible to completely atone for? Thank you.
Natalia
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Dear Natalya! Christ is Risen! The sin of suicide is considered a terrible sin primarily because a person goes into eternity, to the judgment of God, in a state of despair and grave sin. If, by the grace of the Lord, a person remains alive after attempting suicide, then he has the opportunity to repent of sin and reconcile with God. Only one sin separates us from God forever—a sin for which we do not consciously repent. Divine mercy can heal all other sins. You need to talk personally with the priest to whom you will confess about how to build your repentance. General recommendations and universal recipes are completely inappropriate here.
The only thing worth advising is not to despair of God’s mercy. His love for us is greater than we can imagine. Well, and secondly, while atonement for a grave sin committed earlier, a person should not ignore his current spiritual life. A man, realizing that it is terrible to attempt to kill given by God own life(as with the sin of attempting suicide) or the life of an unborn baby (as with the sin of abortion) and having repented before God, he will never repeat these sins. Meanwhile, in our lives there are small sins - irritability, lies, condemnation, narcissism and much more - with which we have come to terms and, even if we name them in confession, we hardly fight them. The total burden of these small, unrepentant and unconquered sins may turn out to be a more serious obstacle to our salvation than a previously committed but sincerely repented grave sin.
Priest Alexander Gumerov
How to come to faith correctly?
Novel
Hello Roman! It’s very good that you posed the question in this form. Because you have to come to faith the right way, and not how it turns out. If you have not yet been baptized, but have read the Gospel (at least one of the four) and believed in our Lord Jesus Christ and His teaching, or are inclined to accept Christianity and simply believe in God, then first you need to prepare for the Sacrament of Baptism and in general with with the help of the book “The Law of God” (it is sold in any church, and our website was created on its basis) to correctly form for yourself the doctrine of God and the Church. So, if you are not baptized, you need to go to the nearest temple, or the one that you like. This should be a temple of the Russian Orthodox Church of the Moscow Patriarchate if you live in Russia. If not, then in any case it should be exactly Orthodox Church, as having preserved the Apostolic faith, the faith of the holy fathers of the Church, the ancient correct glorification of God. There, meet the priest and tell him that you would like to be baptized; for conscious baptism, an interview before Baptism is required. Most likely, they will tell you that you need to read the Gospel; often, first, they advise you to read one Gospel, for example, from Mark. Read the prayer Creed (it sets out how we believe) in the corresponding section of the book “The Law of God.” And if in this church they confess before Baptism (this is done in the same way as people were baptized by the Prophet John the Baptist in the Gospel, when people first repented and then were baptized), then you should prepare your confession. If you are baptized, then like a newly baptized person, in the future you need to regularly confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. If you were baptized a long time ago, then according to the allowance for confession, you need to prepare your confession from the moment of baptism, that is, for your entire life. Write down the sins that you have had in your life and come to Confession in church with this list. We can correctly develop our spiritual life and strengthen our faith through studying Holy Scripture and Tradition (what this is, you can find out in the “Law of God”), studying the lives of saints and imitating them, regular visits to church (not once a year, but once a week), through communication and confession with a confessor, regular participation in the Sacraments. In general, to come to faith correctly is to live according to the commandments of God, being a truly church person. After all, the Church is not what skeptics and unbelievers write, a worldly institution is not obligatory for a person, but this is what God created for man and his salvation. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to do something wrong, always ask priests and experienced church people how to join the Church correctly.
Priest Alexander Starodubtsev
“When I come to church, I want to cry. If I prayed at the icon, but did not cry, then it seems to me that I came to church in vain. I am surprised by those who smile in the temple and talk to each other from time to time. When I stand at work, I feel strong internal tension. And it seems to me that I have no right to anything else.”
This phrase from one of the participants in the conference “Patristic Psychology and modern practice Church", which took place in Moscow in January, as part of XXVI International Christmas educational readings are literally etched in the memory of us, their delegates. And today, as we continue to analyze and publish materials from this global forum, we decided to pay attention to this particular topic. It must be admitted that similar thoughts and experiences one way or another visit many Christians: the conviction that staying in church means focusing on one’s guilt before God, on one’s worthlessness, on a wasted life — is not such a rare opinion. But it is also not uncommon nervous breakdowns, after which a person who has replaced heartfelt contrition with self-trampling sometimes stops going to church altogether.
How to distinguish a true feeling of guilt from a neurotic disorder? How does the fear of God differ from the fear of man? All this is discussed in our material.
Scold yourself in order to reconcile?
“Both healthy and neurotic feelings of guilt are very painful and very similar,” said one of the participants in the conference “Patristic Psychology and Modern Practice of the Church” Dmitry Sergeevich Drozdov- Master of Psychology, President of the Association for Understanding Psychotherapy. But there is, he says, a significant difference: healthy feeling guilt is directed at the act, and neurotic person directs at himself.
Sin, of course, responds to us with guilt. But if a person does not have mental pathologies, his conscience not only points out what is wrong, but also shows how the situation can be corrected. If the personality is neurotic, then the person immediately moves from a specific situation to blaming himself, which is not related to individual actions. His entire life and activities are connected with constant experience shame, but not for something that he can definitely say, but it is unclear what. It seems to him that he is always to blame and therefore it is impossible to correct the situation. Neurotic feeling guilt gives rise to passivity in a person - this is his characteristic external sign.
But perhaps, by constantly berating ourselves, we will get closer to the spiritual heights of the Apostle Paul, who quite sincerely believed that he was the most sinful person on earth? Alas, this is not true. The feeling of our own hopeless “badness,” oddly enough, does not make us more humble. On the contrary, a person tormented by a feeling of neurotic guilt is very often unable to respond adequately even to mild criticism. He is so tormented by internal self-loathing that he craves external praise and support. Such people are terribly afraid of the evaluation of others; they always feel that they are not appreciated enough - and this, in turn, leads to an increase in anxiety, tension and, ultimately, to clinical depression.
Neurotic guilt is illusory, and it - like any illusion - closes a person’s path to true repentance. It is exhausting, and the person who is tormented by its manifestations spends on fighting ghosts those forces that he could direct to overcoming himself, his real sins and their consequences. Confession in such cases, if it gives relief, is only for a short time. A suffering neurotic may understand perfectly well that his painful self-recriminations have nothing to do with reality, but understanding alone is not enough. This feeling cannot be overcome by persuasion and other methods of rationalization.
What to do? Dmitry Sergeevich Drozdov demonstrated to the audience several techniques for working with obsessive feeling guilt that allows the patient, if not to free himself from it immediately, then at least to look at his torment from the outside.
“To do this, you need to take a pose of guilt, as if putting a mask of guilt on your face,” he explained. - How do we feel? Probably pain, maybe fatigue, despair... Now mentally draw a picture of your guilt. What do you see? What's happening to you?
During psychotherapy sessions, the patient, with the support of the therapist, tries to mentally move from a state of guilt to a state of freedom. Exist various techniques, helping to do this. This kind of exercise helps you distance yourself from obsessive thoughts and take the first step towards mental health.
Fear of God and fear of man
“Fear of God,” noted Metropolitan Ignatius of Argentina and South America, is the state of the soul of a highly spiritual person. This is a spiritual gift that is given by the Lord in the same way as the gift of repentance and other similar gifts. The purely human fear of punishment should be distinguished from the fear of God.
The Bishop invited those gathered, in the form of a free discussion, to speculate on whether it is true that for the majority of modern Orthodox Christians, faith is associated with the fear of hellish torment. And if so, is it good?
Listeners expressed different points vision. For some, the appeal to fear of punishment turned out to be unacceptable even in educational purposes, someone, on the contrary, expressed the conviction that the fear of punishment for sin is a natural component of the spiritual life of fallen man.
-If a person has any psychological problems, neuroses,” Metropolitan Ignatius summed up the discussion, “then he can easily accept the fear that accompanies them as an indispensable condition of spiritual life. To overcome their anxiety, such people try to fulfill all church instructions, down to the smallest. They become hostage to their fear.
However, fear as such is not always negative phenomenon. This is a danger signal placed in us by God, which, among other things, helps us avoid sin. At the same time, we must remember that the fear of punishment is the fear of a slave, the fear of not receiving one’s reward is the fear of a mercenary, and the true fear of God is higher than all this. It combines reverence for the greatness of God and an understanding of how small and weak man is in comparison with His power. This is the fear of offending God, of losing His love, to which a person has already responded with all his heart.
Where do desires go?
“It often happens like this,” a psychologist, psychotherapist, member shared her experience of her observations. Russian society"Person Centered Approach" Marina Sergeevna Filonik- that a person himself does not know what he wants - neither in spiritual life, nor in general. He does not strive for anything, does nothing, but at the same time he feels a catastrophic loss of strength. The reason for such a painful condition most often lies in the fact that a person does not build relationships with his desires correctly.
We all know that our wishes may not come true. Not receiving something we desire, we experience heartache, frustration, disappointment, embarrassment. This kind of experience is inevitable in our lives. They help a person grow up and enrich our spiritual experience. However, a neurotic person can solve the problem of non-fulfillment of desires in another way: simply get rid of them. No desire - no disappointment. However, the paradox is that our desires are at the same time a source of energy that helps us achieve our goals. Look, for example, with what reluctance and weakness careless student wakes up in the morning to go to the first class - and with what zeal the same student, who barely sat through the lecture, runs on a date with his beloved girl... Where did the strength come from! Of course, desire is different from desire, and sinful aspirations must be destroyed in the bud. But seeing your desires and realizing that they exist and what they are is absolutely necessary. Then we can build the right relationship with them.
This relationship begins with the understanding that our desires stem from our needs. Needs vary, but in general this is what we need to live full life. If ignored, health problems and various psychological disorders. However, while paying due attention to your desires, you need to learn to distance yourself from them. That is, we should have the attitude not “I am my desire,” but “I have a desire.” Then we will be able to deprive harmful desires of influence on us, and use useful ones to the maximum to achieve good goals.
Newspaper " Orthodox faith» No. 05 (601)
First, sketches from my own life.
I’m 18 years old and I’m coming to one of the first confessions in my life. Everything is very serious and solemn, I read from memory a list (very short) of my sins, from which, of course, I will definitely get rid of them in a year or two and become a saint. In three maximum.
Father listens with feeling and reacts in the same way: “Sin, sin! Do not dare! Now, if I hadn’t gotten here, if I had gotten hit by a car on the way, I would have gone straight to hell! Straight to hell!
And I suddenly wonder if it’s all so mechanical, and what are my prospects if I still sometimes sin, but go to confession in best case scenario once a week.
I am about 30 years old, I am reading from memory a list that has hardly shrunk since then - rather, it has grown due to completely different things that I did not attach importance to or did not notice in myself. The priest listened to him carefully and asked: “Tell me, what sin do you consider the most important?” I answered, because “gradation” was well known to me. “No,” he smiled, “lack of love is a much worse sin.” And this wasn’t even on my list.
And around these same years, I stand in front of the lectern and doubt: will this priest, the one I saw for the first time, hear me? Will he understand? Am I ready to trust him? And, approaching, instead of the usual “father, I have sinned...” I say: “Lord, I have sinned before You...” From then on I begin like this.
It’s incredibly difficult to talk about confession; it’s too personal and intimate, and you probably can’t even reveal the secret of your own repentance, much less someone else’s. But we have to speak because it is significant, relevant, and often incomprehensible.
Only the lazy ones Lately did not note: confession often turns into admission to communion, it is formal, and one does not seriously repent once a week or even once a month, if everything has been the same for many years now. It’s as if you remind God: yes, I am an imperfect person and I know this about myself. And He doesn’t seem to know?
But I would like to say a little about this: about confession and the feeling of guilt. And to begin with, one more story or even two. Village temple in the mid-nineties, Sunday liturgy, before it begins, there is a general confession with a detailed listing of sins. The priest speaks for a long time and with feeling about abortion, the parishioners cross themselves: “I’m a sinner, God forgive me.” Only, with rare exceptions, they are pensioners; they could have committed this sin decades ago and since then they have remembered it before every liturgy. Don't believe they are forgiven?
Or in those same years there was a liturgy in a Moscow church, while at the same time people were confessing in the side chapels. The priest comes out to preach and says... how terrible it is! Here, he says, a sacrifice is being made for the sins of the world, the angels will invisibly serve us, and we stand here and mutter: “I’m irritated, I’m touchy, I’m not obligatory, I like to gossip...” So we remain irritable, touchy and further down the list, because that we see nothing else! May you break away from your sins, look at the Savior, fall to Him! And since then, this priest did not confess after the beginning of the Liturgy of the Faithful, as a matter of principle. And now he is no longer in this world.
But let's return to earth. Anthropologists generally say that there are two types of cultures in the world: a culture of guilt and a culture of shame, depending on what motivates a person, what he tries to avoid. For example, on Far East – classical cultures shame. The samurai was undeservedly insulted by his master, and the samurai has no choice but to publicly cut his stomach and die. Only blood shed by one’s own hand can wash away the unbearable shame. Shame is a position in which you are placed, even if it is not your fault.
And guilt is your responsibility own actions, even if no one knows anything about them. Our culture, like any culture with Christian roots, driven by guilt. It is this feeling and the desire to do something with it that often brings a person to church. And this is absolutely fair, in the same New Testament we will find, especially in Paul, a lot of reasoning that every person is a sinner who deserves destruction, and we all need forgiveness, which we find only in Christ.
But what to do next with this feeling? It would seem that the church is generally about how a guilty and sinful person can become righteous, not by merit, but by grace. But in practice, these are these grandmothers who still confess the sins of their youth. Don't believe they are forgiven? Or maybe they are not ready to understand their current sins and therefore bring old ones to God that have long been irrelevant? It’s somehow more familiar.
The feeling of guilt is somehow paradoxically combined with a feeling of infallibility: I went to confession, and now I’m clean! I have watched the scene more than once: a person who has insulted another, then with some dignity reports, although no one asked, that he brought repentance for this in confession. It would seem that if you personally offended Vasya, then apologize to Vasya. But this is too simple: God has supposedly already forgiven you for Vasya and now the account has been reset, you can tell Vasya again everything that you think about him.
It seems that Orthodox people are rude, unnecessary, touchy, and the list goes on, partly because they have something to do with their feelings of guilt. You missed a work deadline, let your partner down, were rude to your neighbor. The unbeliever will simply apologize, unless, of course, honest man, and will try not to repeat it.
But a church person is tempted (there is no other way to say it) to hide all this “small stuff” in the global “I am the first from them.” Well, if I am the first of sinners, what do you want from me? I have no time for them today, I repent of my misdeeds every day, and these deadlines of yours are not even indicated in the prayer book.
If you get used to the feeling of guilt, it stops working. Or it begins to work selectively, “sharpening” to certain intonations and situations. Who doesn’t know this wonderful, or rather monstrous, manner of family communication, when everything, literally everything, comes down to the topic “who is to blame for whom?” There is even this joke: “our family rests on a good appetite and a sense of guilt.” If there is no love, then, of course, this will do, but... not really then this is a family. And not really a church.
On the other hand, sometimes you think: well, is God very interested in the fact that each of us is touchy, envious, vindictive, and so on, is this something new and surprising for Him? And that the sausage was eaten in a hurry on Wednesday, and that prayer rule not read yet again... Depending on this - to hell, if you didn’t have time for confession, or not to hell, if you did. Is this really about God? In my opinion, this is a projection of the image of a narrow-minded and evil kindergarten teacher who puts you in a corner and deprives you of sweets for every little thing.
But the absence of love, and even when you don’t think about it, when it is the usual background of your life... Yes, in such a state it will be difficult to get into the Kingdom. What if this becomes the “norm” within the church itself? What if the community of repentant sinners is a crowd of individuals queuing up for absolution? Who hasn’t seen these pious scandals in the line for confession: “you weren’t standing here, forgive me…” Will He really forgive? And should we forgive Him for this, since it was not Him who was offended - or rather everyone around us who has to live with this?
We say so often that confession is the sacrament of reconciliation with the church. New entry into the community. If so, it’s definitely not about sausage on Wednesday, but about something after which you really can’t call yourself a Christian.
Recently I had a chance to read a story about a priest, who, on the eve of confession, was informed by a certain man that he was going to fight in someone else’s war for lofty ideas. The priest answered him something like this: “You are going to fight with those who did not harm you and did not attack you, without being a warrior bound by an oath. This turns out to be murder, and I cannot absolve you of your sins until you renounce your plan before God.”
How? Is it a sin to fight for a just cause? And not a sausage, not irritability, not obligatory? A revolution of consciousness. And for the priest, everything is according to the canons in the best sense of the word.
Perhaps the root of the problem is that a huge number of people in our country are, as it were, on the threshold of the church: either Christians or not. Confession becomes a kind of registration, a check in, a way to make sure that a person is truly a church member at least for some time. given time and therefore can proceed to the Chalice. But this is a separate topic: who is Orthodox here and what does that mean? And we, perhaps, have barely begun to discuss it.