How to avoid conflict in a situation. In what cases is it better to avoid conflict? — How to avoid and resolve any dispute

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Conflict is a situation of confrontation that can arise either between two people or between groups of individuals. This is one of the side effects of communication between different personalities with different views, characters, goals and worldviews. It cannot be eradicated, but it can be avoided or minimized. To do this, you need to know the nature of conflicts and the basic methods of preventing them.

The concept of conflict and its types

There are many definitions that describe the concept of conflict. But at the same time, everyone shows the main essence of this phenomenon - confrontation, contradiction, confrontation between people, expressed out loud.

This is a complex dynamic process, which gets its name from the Latin “conflictus”, which means collision. It can be based on subjective or objective “inconsistencies”. More often it has an open character and is accompanied by emotions with a “minus” sign, but it allows you to consider the issue from all sides and hear the opposite point of view.

In the process of formation, a conflict situation has several successive stages of development:

Subject stage. This is the stage of the emergence of a conflict, when the subject of divergence of views is discovered.
Conflict interaction. At this stage, the discovered subject of conflict is expressed openly. The confrontation is developing.
Conflict resolution. There can be two options for the ending: complete repayment of the conflict, when the situation is resolved, or partial, when it only subsides or is postponed until later.

The modern classification of conflicts is based on many factors: the number of participants in a conflict situation, its manifestation, consequences, forms of confrontation, etc. Therefore, the number of types of such confrontation is very large. Here are some of the most popular classifications of conflict situations.

Main types of conflicts:

According to the social consequences. According to their outcome, confrontations can be successful or failed, destructive or constructive, constructive or destructive.
By levels of parties to the conflict. Depending on who acts as the warring parties, conflicts are distinguished between individuals or groups of people, between associations, government entities and cultures.
By source of occurrence. The following topics can lead to confrontation between the parties: discrepancy between values, identification, interests.
According to the form of confrontation. Confrontation can manifest itself openly, aggressively or peacefully.
By scale. Depending on how many participants the conflict situation involves, it can be local (local) and limited to a few people or a team, as well as regional, when entire regions come into conflict. Also, the conflict can grow to interstate and global proportions.
In relation to the participants’ attitude to the conflict situation itself. Considering that the parties to the conflict themselves may have different attitudes towards the misunderstanding that has arisen, the confrontation can be genuine, accidental, hidden or false, objective or subjective.
By tactics. The manifestation of confrontation can occur in different forms: in the form of debates and debates, in the form of a game, or more harshly - in the form of active physical influence (fight, military action).

Causes of conflicts

Human existence is multifaceted, and therefore the reasons for the emergence of confrontation can affect a variety of spheres of human activity. A conflict can be based on purely emotional hostility, non-acceptance of certain forms of behavior or certain situations, etc. Let us dwell on the most significant factors that shape conflict situations.

Common causes of conflicts:

Goals. Misunderstanding or rejection of the desired result, when people see the outcome of their activities (actions, decisions, behavior) differently, often leads to confrontation.
Views. Often a conflict arises between parties who differ in their vision of ways to solve a certain situation (problem).
Feelings. A conflict situation can also be of a purely personal nature, when its participants simply cannot agree on the level of emotions and feelings towards each other.

If we consider these causal factors from the perspective of areas of human activity, they will look like this:

Causes of social conflicts. Social confrontation is a necessary condition for the development of society. It can be based on several positions: social inequality, heterogeneity of culture and customs, differences in values and ideology. Many social confrontations are based on economic factors and the degree of distribution of power. Within a family, the reasons for conflicts can be different views on life, raising children, intimate relationships, jealousy, financial and domestic problems, bad habits and addictions.
Causes of conflicts within an organization. Being forced to be within a heterogeneous team within the same organization inevitably leads to confrontations. The spark for the flare-up of a conflict in this case can be the struggle for leadership, unsatisfactory working conditions, differences in interests, understanding of the labor process and subordination, distribution of material benefits and incentives.
Causes of interethnic conflicts. The desire to improve the economic situation or boundaries of influence, living conditions, restoration of lost rights or geographical boundaries can cause hostility between states or subjects of different nationalities. Historical, religious and confessional differences, political games and the numerical superiority of one nation over another provide no less reasons for interethnic hatred.

Understanding the cause of a conflict situation gives a great advantage to those who want to manage it. The most effective way to avoid conflict is based precisely on knowledge of its nature.

How to Avoid Conflict

Most people who become participants in a confrontation try to justify their behavior by circumstances, emotional background, provocative behavior of the interlocutor, etc. They don't even realize that there are ways to avoid conflict - in any situation.

There are several general tips that will help nip a conflict at the root, regardless of what its cause is and how many participants there are:

Keep your emotions under control. The best way to prevent or constructively end a conflict situation is to turn off emotions and your Ego. It is a “sober head” that will help to conduct a dialogue in such a way that you will not later regret what was said or done.
Don't beat yourself up. Learn to live in the moment, without running your thoughts and fantasies into the future - do not invent what does not exist and what has not yet happened. It often happens that we deceive ourselves, building in our heads unimaginable variations in the development of events, on which we then base our claims. Although it turns out that they all turned out to be far-fetched.
Be attentive to your interlocutor. If you have a reason to discuss a problem, give advice or find out something, choose the right time to talk - when the interlocutor is in the mood for dialogue. If he is out of sorts, tired, upset or angry, you have every chance of turning communication into a conflict situation.
Don't remember the past. Make it a rule not to “link” past misdeeds and mistakes of your interlocutor to today’s problem. Such tactics will only worsen the confrontation. This is a very effective way to avoid conflicts with loved ones.
Do not accumulate grievances and problems within yourself. Unresolved controversial issues, unexpressed experiences and grievances tend to accumulate and splash out in a fountain of negative emotions. Naturally, conflicts cannot be avoided during such outbursts.
Stay calm and polite. To ensure that a conflict situation is quickly resolved or does not arise at all, watch your speech. Don’t be hysterical, speak in a calm tone, without insults, ridicule or mockery.

How to avoid conflicts with your boss

A large part of our lives is spent at work, so the potential for misunderstandings in this area of life is great. Moreover, they can arise on several levels - with colleagues or with a higher-ranking employee or boss.

The main rules on how to avoid conflicts at work with your boss:

The boss is always right. Remember this main principle of any leadership. And even if it is very difficult to comply with it, in any case your opposition should be thoughtful, tactful and adequate.
Calm, just calm. If you have fallen under the hot hand of your boss or consider the claims made against you to be unfounded, restrain yourself from a violent response. Wait until the “aggressor” calms down, and only then find out all the points you don’t understand.
Stop gossip. Make it a rule not to discuss management with your colleagues. Even outside of work and in informal settings. There is no guarantee that your words will not reach the ears of the object of discussion.
Right Relationships. Avoid frivolity and ingratiation when communicating with management. Only professionalism in communication and behavior will help you avoid confrontation with both management and colleagues.

How to avoid conflicts with colleagues

Basic ways to avoid conflicts with work colleagues:

Keep your distance. Not only will your work relationship provide you with the most effective work environment, but it will also not make you the target or victim of gossip.
Be impartial. If you are drawn into a conflict, do not choose sides and remain neutral. You don’t know how it will end and what consequences it will leave behind. Be calm and reasonable even when you are one of the parties to a conflict situation. Even if the cause of the conflict is personal “intolerance.”
Follow the one-on-one principle. Try to seek resolution to any misunderstandings and disagreements alone with your interlocutor, outside the group.
Respect the experience of others. If you are uncomfortable with comments or attempts to interfere in your work by more experienced employees, do not hesitate to calmly find out the reason for this attitude towards yourself. If you are truly “sinful”, accept help and improve.

How to avoid conflicts with friends

Life shows that moments of misunderstanding and disagreement can arise even between the best friends. Given the same life, there are never too many good friends, so you shouldn’t risk them and enter into confrontation with them.

Avoid conflicts. If you see that your friend is aggressive and a conflict situation is inevitable, physically move away from the confrontation. You can remember about urgent matters, an unresolved problem, an iron not turned off - anything that will give you a reason to stop communicating with a friend at the moment of his “inadequacy”.
Pause. Try not to react to comments and barbs immediately, especially if they are petty and insignificant. Use the classic method of counting to 10. And then you will see how to answer and whether it is worth answering at all.
Set your priorities. If a conflict is inevitable, think about what is more important to you - maintaining friendly relations or proving your point of view. In this case, you can blindly agree with the instigator or try to jointly find an amicable solution to the problem that has arisen.

How to avoid conflicts with parents

The conflict between fathers and children is an eternal problem of relationships, the relevance of which will exist as long as its participants themselves. Parental love, combined with life experience, does not always find a common language with youth and the desire for independence.

Basic principles on how to avoid conflicts with loved ones:

Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes. Try to approach the causes of conflicts impartially and correct when necessary.
Don't give in to your feelings. Leave without response provocations and intentions to throw you off balance. Often emotions prevent you from seeing the root of the problem and the correct way to solve it.
Be tactful and forgiving. Politeness, a calm tone and the ability to listen without interrupting are the best ways to show the importance of good relationships with loved ones. Make allowances for your relatives’ age, emotional background, and health status. Everyone experiences mood swings and poor health.
Prevent conflicts. Do not accumulate resentment and misunderstandings so that they do not create the basis for confrontation.

How to avoid conflicts with children

No less reasons for misunderstanding and conflict may arise with your own children. This makes it much more difficult to maintain a productive parent-child bond.

The main rules on how to avoid conflicts with children:

Look to the root of the problem. Very often, children use conflict situations to attract attention. And parents - first of all. Learn to first see the cause of the confrontation that has arisen and only then choose the path to resolve it.
Criticize correctly. It is unpleasant for a child, like any adult, to hear criticism addressed to him. Therefore, try to make comments to your child correctly: firstly, essentially, and secondly, with continuation, that is, explaining how he can improve and become better.
Explain your refusals. If you don't intend to satisfy your child's every desire, learn to argue for it. Ignoring will only worsen the problem, since the child perceives such an attitude towards himself as indifference.
Communicate with children more often. It is confidential communication that makes it possible to find out everything that your child breathes - his fears, desires, moods, dreams. And, accordingly, avoid conflict situations.

How to avoid conflicts with your loved one

If relationships with parents and children are blood relationships, then relationships with your other half have a slightly different perspective. This perspective provides a lot of reasons for conflicts to arise. And if you don’t find the best way to avoid conflicts in the family, this family may either not exist or not exist.

Basic ways to avoid conflicts with your partner:

Respect your other half. Remember that your soulmate is a person who has his own tastes, habits, interests and preferences. In the end, this is the kind of person you fell in love with.
Be sincere and honest. The best cement for strengthening relationships is sincerity and openness. At the same time, do not forget that it is dishonest to demand from your partner what you cannot do or do not possess yourself.
Listen to yourself. Before you start a conflict or get offended, look inside yourself. Perhaps you are talking about emotions, fatigue or ordinary hunger. And keep in mind that your other half may be driven by the same reasons.
Be more kind. It is well known that a kind word is also pleasant for a cat. Therefore, notice more good things in your partner, praise and motivate.

Important! Remember that happy people simply do not have time and reason to sort things out with someone and gossip.

How to avoid conflicts - watch the video:

In the modern world, conflicts have fertile ground for development, but this does not mean that this state of affairs should be accepted as the norm. Peaceful communication and mutual understanding make life more beautiful and fruitful. Therefore, it is worth fighting to reduce all confrontations to a minimum.

Various quarrels and unspoken grievances seriously spoil our mood and relationships with others. How to avoid conflicts, can this be learned? Constantly radiating positivity is not so easy, because unpleasant surprises and attacks from other people await us at every step. But it is simply vital to fight all this negativity.

Why is it so important to stop swearing?

The main reason to think about how you can avoid conflict is your own mental health. Remember the last quarrel you were involved in? Dissatisfied, skeptical statements quickly turn into real screams. But now you and your opponent have already parted ways, and you’re still shaking for a good half hour. It’s impossible to concentrate on anything, and all that remains is to scroll through all the insults received in your head and think which of them are deserved. But indeed, if someone around you constantly treats you with disdain, over time your self-esteem can significantly decrease. Have you ever seen husbands who have been nagged by their wives for years, or work colleagues who are hesitant to take on serious projects because the boss constantly says that they are too tough to do it? Of course, a bad peace is better than a colorful war. It is always better to have polite neutrality or friendly relations with everyone you know, rather than making enemies. And this is the second reason why it is better not to bring the situation to open confrontation.

Learning to understand and respect

Universal advice on how to avoid conflicts is to learn to respect everyone around you. It doesn’t matter who is in front of you: a homeless person trying to beg for alms or the boss of a large company. Each of them is human, and if you have to speak, maintain a friendly tone of communication. Often conflicts occur due to misunderstandings. Listen carefully to your opponent, do not interrupt, ask additional and clarifying questions. If you think that the interlocutor is wrong or is saying some nonsense, briefly retell everything that you understood from what you heard, ask again if this is what he wanted to say. Never take information critically, remember that every person has the right to their own opinion.

Never start a conflict first

Think about it, how often do you provoke conflicts? In order to start a quarrel, sometimes one careless word is enough. If you openly provoke, inciting your interlocutor with statements that insult him personally or the beliefs he has, it’s time to seriously think about your behavior. Perhaps you need a personal reminder “How to avoid conflict.” Remember that it is always easier to smooth out the situation, quarrels are never useful, you need to be able to achieve your goals through peace.

Think positively, wish well

Never accumulate evil within yourself. Popular advice from psychologists on how to avoid conflict at work or at home is to simply remain silent. In practice it actually often works. But even if a quarrel does not happen, the resentment will remain in your soul for a long time. Did you know that many people suffering from serious diseases of the cardiovascular and nervous systems prefer to remain silent until the last moment? All complaints against others should be expressed, but at the appropriate time and in a friendly manner. This is the key to a happy family life. If your family rarely helps you, do not make a scandal, but simply point out to them their mistakes and ask for help. In a similar way, you can find a way out of many situations leading to conflict.

Do not spread gossip and criticize consciously

Such is the essence of human nature that in the absence of mutual acquaintances we like to talk about them. Not only women, but also men are prone to “bone washing.” You should get rid of this habit. If you judge someone, say it to the person's face. Prying into your personal life if you were not initiated into it is, at the very least, uncivilized. To speak unkindly behind your back about those with whom you personally communicate well is real meanness. It is better to refrain altogether from categorical comments addressed to third parties. If the situation requires your comment, try to gently but clearly tell the person everything to his face, as it is. Is it possible to avoid conflict if you want to express criticism but do not have solid arguments? Of course yes. It is enough to emphasize that all your words are your personal opinion, and it is up to your opponent to decide whether to listen to it or not.

To argue or not?

Some people are born debaters; they like to prove their opinion to the last. It is not the result that is important, but the process itself. How to avoid conflict with friends or loved ones out of nowhere? Learn to respect other people's interests. Let's say your wife likes green tea without sugar, and you prefer sugary coffee with cream. Are you going to fight over this? Rather, everyone will brew a cup of their invigorating drink and drink it with pleasure. So why stoop to mutual insults and shouting over musical preferences, politics or religion? The most useful thing to do is to note in advance a list of topics on which it is better not to talk with a specific person.

Agree and... do it your way!

Common at work - teachings and instructions. The most difficult situation to resolve is when you are sure that you are doing everything correctly, but a less competent person suggests a different course of action. If you try to defend the truth, conflict cannot be avoided. This is the very situation when it is important for the attacking side to emphasize its authority. If the boss “teaches” you to work correctly, but even though he is still satisfied with the results today, you should not try to point out errors in his judgment. Rarely does a boss admit that he does not have sufficient knowledge and actually came up with complete nonsense. Listen carefully, agree, promise to fulfill. Wait for the right moment and continue working in the usual algorithm. This advice on the eternal topic: “How to avoid conflicts” will also help at home. Put on a hat before going out in May for retired parents. Or promise your wife not to drive at speeds above 80 km/h. As soon as you turn the corner of the building, the headdress can be removed, but how you drive the car is your own business. But everyone was happy with each other, and the mood was high for each potential participant in the quarrel.

If a scandal has started...

An entire branch of psychology is busy developing a universal formula for how to avoid conflicts. The rules don't always work. And if you are nevertheless drawn into a showdown, your task is to stop the quarrel as quickly as possible. Focus on the problem and try to find a compromise. The most important thing is to find out and understand what the other side wants. Never resort to insults and do not remember the past; it is also advisable to abandon generalizing formulations. This is the main secret on how to avoid conflicts in the family - never say “you always say...” or “you always act...”. Such criticism is dangerous; the addressee perceives phrases of this type as the harshest criticism. By generalizing, you make it clear that you are always dissatisfied with the behavior of your interlocutor and perceive him as an unworthy person.

A good mood is salvation from scandals

If you don't know how to avoid conflict, learn to remain calm in any situation. Do not raise your voice and maintain a friendly intonation. It is also useful to keep a calm smile on your face. When people criticize you, listen carefully and sincerely thank them. If you are dealing with someone higher than you (boss or parents), emphasize the authority of the speaker. Admit that without his instructions and advice you would never have thought about this on your own. You say: “But why obey your parents in adulthood if it took you all your childhood?” In fact, knowing how to avoid is useful for everyone. Appreciate your closest relatives; minor concessions to prevent a quarrel on your part are nothing compared to the well-being in the home and a warm atmosphere.

Tricks of life without scandals

It is always very difficult to please everyone. It’s one thing to remain silent during a quarrel and dress once a month the way your mother wants you to. But it’s completely different to dedicate your life to an unloved profession or give up your own desires. When you are going to give in to someone on something, try to assess how much this action will harm your life? Being able to defend your interests is also an art. In some situations, it is better to survive the quarrel, but continue on your way to the existing landmark. Is there a universal way to avoid conflicts with your parents if they wanted a completely different life for you? Of course, it’s worth trying to explain your position and come to an understanding. But if conversations don’t work out, you should leave this topic for a while. After all, we all know that it is quarrels with the closest people that are the brightest and strongest, but reconciliation usually happens very quickly.

Let's sum it up

Now you know how to avoid conflict at work or at home. It is enough to stop taking to heart the opinions of others and criticism addressed to you. It is necessary to treat everyone around you with understanding and not feel hostility towards anyone. Learn to forgive people and eliminate unworthy people from your life without regret. In some situations, it’s easier to give in than to stand up for what’s right. If you are confident in yourself and your knowledge, do as you see fit. Don't forget to listen to your opponent. Only by understanding his point of view can you find a compromise or end the quarrel in another way.

Some conflicts have serious consequences. After an argument, you could lose your job. Or your friend will not want to communicate with you further. Even if the conflict ended with a formal reconciliation of the parties, it will take some time to restore the previous relationship. Assess the consequences of the quarrel, so that no matter what happens, you should not perceive what happened as an apocalypse. If during a quarrel you behaved unworthily or unfairly insulted your interlocutor, you should apologize. The first time after a conflict has occurred, it is better to communicate to a minimum; you will definitely be forgiven and understood, but it will take some time. But after a couple of days you can move on to conciliatory steps. Just try to talk to someone with whom you recently quarreled, please this person with something. If you have conflicts at work, you should try to perform your duties at the highest level and not give new reasons for criticism and reproach.

Instructions

Don't provoke. If you know that a person is a boor and a troublemaker, it is better to stay away from him, once again not with him, communicate only when necessary. This way you will reduce the chances that the conflicter will attach itself to you.

If trouble does happen and a person drags you into a conflict situation, under no circumstances should you stoop to his level. In practice, this can be quite difficult to do, but if you act like this in response to or abuse at you, you will lose face, which is what your opponent is trying to achieve. Behave with restraint, do not shout or shout.

In the event that your enemy has crossed all sorts of boundaries by insulting you, do not remain silent under any circumstances. Say that a conversation in this tone is unacceptable, and you will continue the conversation until he apologizes. Ignore him completely in the future until you receive an apology.

Think about what goals are pursued by the person with whom you often have conflict situations. Most likely, he is not doing this for the sake of art: a colleague may challenge you to a scandal in order to make you appear unrestrained and unrestrained in the eyes of management, and your mother-in-law may “catch” you because it seems to her that you do not respect her enough. If you find where the legs of the conflict come from, you can stop it.

After each conflict situation, analyze your behavior. It is quite possible that in some way you caused the conflict without noticing it. This should be done after you have stopped glowing with righteous indignation and can look at the situation objectively. Try to look at it “from the outside,” and perhaps you will see some of your mistakes that can be avoided in the future.

Video on the topic

Problems between parents and children are inevitable, but with proper treatment by parents, many conflicts can be avoided.

Instructions

In some cases, ignoring bad behavior is a very effective method. It happens that parents themselves encourage their child’s bad behavior by paying attention to it. You should ignore a child’s bad behavior if in this way the baby is trying to attract attention to himself and when he succeeds, he only gets excited. Try to restrain yourself. When the child realizes that his pranks do not attract your attention, he will stop doing it.

When a child begins to behave badly, be capricious, all this develops into hysterics, you can simply go to another room, leave the room. Especially if it’s already hard for you to restrain yourself. You need to be alone with yourself, calm down, come to your senses. At this time, the child will stop being capricious, since the absence of spectators does not suit him. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated, don't shout, don't hit the children. Leaving a child alone with his whims and demands is good psychological pressure, which will force him to calm down and the child to think about his behavior.

Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly difficult to avoid conflict situations. Often you have to bend over backwards and act wisely in order to live in peace with the people around you. American psychologist Dorothy Thompson once said: “We cannot completely avoid conflict situations, but we always have an alternative how to react to them. The alternatives are passive or aggressive responses to conflict.”

Reasoning over the words of the psychologist, we can conclude that the conflict can be viewed from different angles. On the one hand, you can completely break off relations with a person, and on the other, get to know him better. The best way to avoid conflict is to anticipate and accept it.

You should be aware of all possible risks since conflict is often a major cause of stress, which can be harmful to your health. But if you have done everything possible to avoid the conflict, and it has still not been resolved, then the tips below will be useful to you.

Avoid getting caught in the middle of a conflict

Sometimes people can find themselves in the middle of conflicts and arguments because they want to help. Honestly, this is very risky because you can find yourself in the middle of someone else's problem and become the main figure in the conflict. Let other people sort out their relationships without your interference. You should focus on your own life problems and try to find ways to solve them in the shortest period of time.

please

When someone pushes you to your limit, try putting on a happy face and being nice to that person instead of flattering them into a fight. Life is full of conflicts and disagreements, so you must find more conservative ways to deal with them. For example, kindness can ease conflict. Kindness is a defense mechanism against negative feelings about conflict. Additionally, people around you will value your conflict resolution skills.

Try to be a peacemaker

Those people who love peace, they try not to get involved in conflicts. If you have peace and love in your heart you are almost invincible. Peacemakers tend to cooperate with people without harmful emotions, which usually lead to arguments and even conflicts. “The greatest victory in a battle is victory without battle or loss.” Don't worry if you're not a natural peacemaker, you can learn this skill as you live.

Habit of the Mediator

If someone has a conflict, you should not interfere in this process in any way. Weak people usually try to hide behind stronger ones in order to find help and support in their actions. You'd better break the habit of mediating between conflict parties if you don't want to deal with stress alone on a regular basis. Try to be a third party in other people's conflicts.

Walk from

When a conflict escalates and you feel out of control, you must make a choice to handle the situation differently. By all means, try to keep yourself away from stress. It is useful to put some distance between yourself and your opponent and get away from the situation for a while. If possible, you should leave this conflict in the past or choose to return to it later. Do your best to cool down and put all disagreements in the past. This approach will give you a chance to defuse this problem.

Get rid of negativity and drama

Try to avoid negative people and dramatic situations as much as possible, because they are the main destroyers of self-confidence and self-esteem. Moreover, they can affect your physical and mental well-being. For negative people, dramatizing situations is like oxygen and if you don't stop surrounding yourself with such people, you will also perceive the world over time. Don't let these people catch you in negative thoughts and feelings.

Avoid provocateurs

One of the most effective ways to prevent conflicts is to avoid contact with provocateurs. There are always many people around who do all possible things to involve others in conflict. Very often this attitude in life leads to confrontation, punishment and arguments. When dealing with a provocateur, you should always try to delay your reaction when they are provoked. This will help you consider the situation and its results. Make a conscious effort to delay your reaction using your will and, in the meantime, choose the best way to respond.

Conflicts and anxious situations are the main causes of stress, and this is very harmful to your health. I hope these tips on how to avoid conflict will help you stay positive and enjoy life. What do you usually do to avoid conflict?

Our whole life, like a canvas, is woven from relationships with other people. Upon birth, we find ourselves in a huge world of people and from the first days of life we learn to find a common language with others. Experiences and emotions caused by certain events often contribute to a distorted perception of reality. These distortions are the causes of misunderstandings between people, and as a result, the causes of conflicts. Therefore, in order to make your life calmer and more harmonious, you need to thoroughly understand what conflict is and how to avoid it. You may not become the most conflict-free person on the planet, but, in any case, you will know for sure what to do in a given situation.

What is conflict

From many definitions we can conclude that a conflict is a contradiction between two or more parties that was spoken out loud. The conflict does not arise out of nowhere, but is built up from successive stages, namely:

the first is a difference of opinion on one issue or another,
the second is a direct expression of one’s disagreement with an opposing opinion,
the third is direct confrontation, open struggle.

On the one hand, conflict is an undesirable situation that should be avoided, and if it occurs, eliminated as soon as possible. On the other hand, a conflict situation will allow you to look at the current picture from the outside and allow you to hear the opposite point of view. In order for the conflict not to threaten the rupture of certain relationships, you must be able to listen and hear your opponent, perhaps he really is right.

Causes of conflicts

Understanding the causes of conflict can not only help to effectively deal with it, but also avoid complications of the situation. Psychologists identify several reasons that contribute to the emergence of conflict.

Lack of information about the object under discussion, or its poor quality.
Subjective perception of the situation is the discrepancy between real events and personal attitude towards them.
Difficulties in communication - the same words can be perceived and interpreted differently by different people.
Discrepancy between the expected and actual behavior of the opponent.
Differences in value systems – differences in interests, behavior and goals.
Location at various levels of the social or official ladder.
Lack of financial opportunities.
Incompatibility of the parties' claims and lack of opportunity to satisfy them.

How to avoid conflicts

Often the participants in the conflict make excuses that it was not they who started it, that it was all her fault, or that he, without listening to anything, began to shout, etc. Thus, they are trying to protect themselves and do not at all assume that they could have avoided the conflict altogether. If you are not the “initiator” of the conflict, show your adult side - do not continue it.

How to avoid conflicts at work

Most of our life is spent at work, there is communication with employees, promotion, and much more. Therefore, conflicts in the workplace can arise on several levels - conflicts with superiors and conflicts with work colleagues.

To avoid conflicts with your superiors, you should adhere to several rules:

Don’t forget that the boss is “always right,” and if he is still wrong, you shouldn’t react too emotionally to it. The boss makes demands on you as an employee, and you must meet these requirements, of course, if you want to continue working there.
If your boss yelled at you in front of everyone because he was in a bad mood, restrain yourself. And if you don’t understand what the reason is (if on your part all job duties were performed correctly), go to him and in a calm atmosphere, without raising your voice, find out what your mistake is.
Don't curry favor with your superiors. The relationship must be strictly professional, otherwise it can lead not only to conflict with the boss, but also with employees.
Accept the right to make mistakes. Both you and your boss are people, and people make mistakes. There is no need to aggravate the situation with unnecessary fears.
Do not discuss your boss's behavior with employees, even in an informal setting. You never know where and from what angle the words you speak may emerge.

As for conflicts in a team, everything is a little more complicated, since in addition to the professional component, personal relationships also come into play. The larger the team, the more opinions, and not only professional ones. Therefore, behavioral tactics must be well thought out.

Smile more often, try to find the good in everything. This not only protects against a certain number of conflicts, but also helps in life.
If an employee with extensive experience in this matter disagrees with your professional point of view, ask him to explain his reason for disagreement in calm tones. Having found out the reason, it will be easier for you to navigate the situation or admit your lack of experience, or resolve the issue with personal hostility.
If the conflict arose due to personal hostility, try to conduct the conversation in calm tones and do not sort things out in front of everyone, do it in private.
If there is a tense atmosphere in the team and they are trying to hook you with something in order to get you emotional, do not give in, aggression is not the best adviser.
Don’t take anyone’s side, you never know how the situation may change in a few days, or maybe in a couple of hours.
Try to maintain working relationships with employees - this is important for effective work.