Can a "dark" magician be a good person? Is it good to be good to everyone? Appearance and packaging

Greetings, my friends!

Has it ever happened to you that you “stepped on the throat of your own song” so that those around you (or some special person) didn't think badly of you? Surely it happened. It's an extremely common occurrence where we try to look "good" to other people and do things that we wouldn't do under other circumstances. Of course, no one wants to show the unsightly side of themselves, however, quite often it happens that in an effort to please everyone, a person loses his individuality. But this is already serious!

How does the “be good” attitude arise?

Very often we are taught to “be good” from childhood. This happens especially often in families
where parents are focused on certain “social standards” and rules. AND public opinion is for them a very serious indicator of their importance and weight in society. "What will people say?" – one of the most important parameters that they focus on in their lives. Naturally, when raising a child, this is also taken as a basis. “Don’t run!”, “Don’t shout!”, “Don’t get into a puddle!”, “Don’t ask stupid questions!” etc. But a child cannot become a static doll who will sit decorously on a chair with her hands folded on her knees. Children hear the voice of their Soul much better and strive to explore the world in all its diversity. But “proper adults” constantly scold for this. And gradually the child understands that you can just pretend to be a good boy and pretend that you are quiet and obedient. Then the adults will be satisfied, praise and leave behind.

And this is how, from childhood, a subconscious attitude is implanted in us that “you need to be good!” – if you meet the expectations of others, a reward awaits you – approval. And if you don’t justify it, then you are “bad”! This attitude is very powerful. But can it be unambiguously attributed to negative attitudes? But here everything is not so simple!

Roles and masks

On the one hand, of course, the desire to please everyone can deprive you of your individuality. And this very often happens if a person is weak enough as an individual and needs approval from others. If your subconscious program“being good” is superimposed on low, then you can even completely lose yourself under all those masks that you put on depending on the situation. Moreover, these masks can be very different for the same person. For example, a teenager in the company of his friends can behave very rudely and cheekily, fearing ridicule from friends and accusations like “mama’s boy.” And the same teenager, coming home, becomes an “exemplary child” in order to avoid the displeasure of his parents.

As you age, these masks tend to “fuse” with you so firmly that you stop perceiving and feeling them as masks. If a child or teenager is most often aware that he is pretending to be good in order to avoid punishment or censure, then an adult quite often simply gets used to behaving “correctly” to the extent that he continues to do “the right thing” without thinking whether this is what he himself needs.

Such a desire to “be good” can lead to completely absurd situations in which a person would never have found himself if not for the attitude of “following decency.” Well, for example, a situation when a girl on the eve of her wedding
suddenly realizes that she does not love her fiancé and does not want to marry him. But! The restaurant has been booked, the dress has been purchased, and the guests have been invited. It is indecent to refuse! It would be such a scandal and shame! And in order for everything to look “no worse than others,” she connects her life with someone she doesn’t love, essentially depriving herself of the opportunity to find true happiness in love. In the same way, many spouses live in marriage literally hating each other, but do not divorce because “it is bad, wrong and indecent.”

We have already considered the extreme manifestations of the “be good” attitude. But even in ordinary life, it can quite spoil your life if it is not recognized in time.

Not the institute where you would like to go to study? But prestigious! Not the job you'd like to do? But it's a reputable company! Not the guy you like? But eligible bachelor and from a good family!

So gradually - one thing, another, a third... You look, and you’re no longer living your life at all.

Not “to be good”, but to be yourself!

But this quality also has another side - productive. If you don’t get hung up on being good to everyone, then this desire to gain the approval of people who are significant and valued to you stimulates you to work on yourself and self-improvement. And this is already very productive - because you now strive to BE, and not to SEEM. That is, you really change yourself, and don’t pretend.

As you can see, friends, it is necessary to maintain a balance here, not allowing this attitude to depersonalize you and hide you behind masks, but using it as an incentive for development. How to do this practically? Well, of course, using . Monitor your behavior. Ask yourself: “Who am I doing this for? I want this myself, or I act this way to create about myself best experience? Usually this state is easy to track, because at this moment you yourself do not want what you are depicting.

Work with your belief that you need to be good to everyone. I wrote about how to work through beliefs.

But there is no need to go to the other extreme - to deny all decency and not give a damn about other people's opinions. In order to live in harmony with yourself, you do not need to oppose yourself to the rest of the world. Struggle has never been and never will be a way to find happiness.

And, of course, this the most important step in eliminating the “be good” attitude! If your self-esteem is high enough, you no longer need anyone's approval. You yourself know very well that you are good!

So, if you now realize that you often live and act in a way that is not at all what you would like, work on yourself:

• track situations in which you try to “be good”;
• try to understand how you yourself would like to act in this situation;
• identify the beliefs that cause you to act against your true desires
• label these beliefs as “constraining”;
• replace them positive beliefs with help (for example, “I always do as my Soul tells me!” or “I harmonious personality and I follow my Path”, etc.);
• live consciously, tracking your behavior and analyzing it - do not let yourself “put on the mask of goodness” again.

This is how you can gradually come back to your Soul and find your unique individuality!

Your Ekaterina :))

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Find out what it means to you personally to be a good man. Some people think that just not doing harm to others is enough, but goodness is often expressed in what you do for others, not in what you don't do. A good person should help both himself and others. You must decide what it means to you to be a good person.

Choose a role model for yourself. This way you can look up to someone. This person should have the character traits that you want to have. Think about how you can adopt these traits and apply them to your work, creativity, relationships, lifestyle, and nutrition.

• Who do you look up to and why? How does this person make the world a better place? Can you do the same?
• What qualities do you admire in this person and can you develop them in yourself?
• Always have a role model in your mind to inspire you. Think about how that person would react to a question or event and respond that way.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. Try to understand that many people have it better than you, but many have it much worse. If a person feels unhappy due to comparison with others, he is wasting time and energy that could be spent on developing his personality. Praise yourself every morning. Good mood makes you more positive person and helps to share kindness with the world.

   Love yourself. Learn to love yourself. Embrace your identity. The only way to love others is to first accept and love yourself. You should feel good about what you do for yourself and what you believe in, not just what you do for others. If you try to do things for others while forgetting about yourself, it will result in resentment, anger and depression. If you love yourself, you will be able to sincerely help others.

   • Are you trying to artificially impose on yourself the qualities of a good person? If inside you hate yourself and are angry at the whole world, you cannot be considered a good person, even if you do good deeds.

2. Be yourself. Always be yourself and don't try to pretend to be someone else. Don't act like someone else. Be yourself and do what you can do. So you will sincere person who can give good to the world. If you are true to yourself, you will be able to understand what you believe in and what you consider important.

   Meditate and/or pray. Prayers higher powers or meditation will help you develop the qualities you need. Meditation and prayer will allow you to find inner peace and concentrate on your inner world. As you understand yourself better, you will discover what you really want and gain clarity in your life. When you become calmer, you will feel better, and this will help you become a better person.

   Start with small changes. Change cannot happen overnight, but small changes go a long way. Every month or every two months, set a goal to break one or two habits that you don't like.

   • Example goal 1: “I will listen to others without interrupting with words or gestures.” Think about how unpleasant it would be for you if someone tried to say something while you were still speaking.
   • Goal 2: “I will try to think about what will make the other person happy.” It is okay to share food or drinks with people when they are hungry or thirsty; you can give way or do something else.

3. Review your goals daily. To become a good person, it is important to reread your list of desirable qualities every day. It must become a part of you. Follow the advice from this article, and also come up with something new of your own.

   Be honest. Lying destroys trust and ruins relationships. Don't lie to others - be honest with them. Good people don't lie, they speak directly about their thoughts and feelings. Instead of lying and involving someone else in difficult situation, tell me exactly what you think. Don't be passive aggressive.

   Make small acts of kindness a habit. Simple little things will help you become better. Smile at someone or hold the door. Very soon it will become a habit that you won’t even think about.

   Show empathy. Remember that kindness, understanding and compassion are the result of loving and caring for others. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and assess the situation from their point of view. Think about how you would feel if you were that person. Most likely, you will begin to consider other people's feelings. This will show in your words and actions. Be a good person not to appear good in the eyes of others, but so that it will benefit others.

   • Don't always try to be diplomatic. Don't be afraid of possible difficulties.

Interaction with others

1. Accept everyone around you. To become a good person, it is important not to judge others. A good person accepts everyone, regardless of their race, age, sexual orientation, gender and culture. Remember that everyone has feelings, that every person is valuable and worthy of respect.

   • Respect older people. Don't forget that someday you too will get old and you will need help. Next time you find yourself in mall, in a parking lot or anywhere else, look around for an elderly person who needs help (such as with bags). Offer your help - he will appreciate it. If the person refuses, apologize and wish him Have a good day. If somewhere you meet old man, smile at him and ask how his day is going. This may be enough to make a person feel better.
   • Show compassion for people with disabilities mental development. They also have feelings. Smile at them and treat them like people worthy of respect. If someone laughs at you, ignore it and continue to communicate with the person who is your true friend.
   • Don't be racist, don't be homophobic and be tolerant of other religions. The world is multifaceted. Learn new things from other people and enjoy this diversity.

2. Control your anger. If you argue with someone, keep your anger under control. When arguing about something with a friend, don’t be rude, but don’t hide your feelings either. Talk to the person and solve the problem. It’s better not to take your anger out on each other, but to take a break and think about the problem. Try saying this: “I want to look into this because you are my friend. Let’s not talk about this for a while - we need to think about it.”

   Praise other people. Pleasant words- This is an easy way to achieve a friendly atmosphere. Compliment a colleague's new hairstyle and a passerby's dog on the street. Compliment friends you envy. Praising what is worthy of praise is very good, and you would probably want your successes to be noted by others too.

   Listen carefully to others. Many people rarely listen to the words of others. Everyone wants to matter and be valued. Listen to people. Follow the person's story. Don't be distracted by external stimuli and don't look at your phone.

There was something there. Yes it was. She told me as soon as she saw it. “Well done,” I said. That's how it should be. Late spring. Flowers. Weekend. Sex. WITH good friend. Stop here! You don't have a friend anymore. But you had sex.

She is happy - she felt so good with him. So what else? Talk about it. Here I am. And I'm glad, I'm incredibly happy for her. Because it's wonderful to meet a man. But she seems to be afraid. "We're just friends. I can tell him everything. It was friendly sex."

Is this possible? Friendly “just sex” and after it also remain friends. Plus more sex. More and more. That's what she wants to know. Slightly tired, softened, she asks – for herself, for me... What’s next?.. And she doesn’t want to think, doesn’t want these thoughts, no... “I’m not in love.” But she only talks about him. And it's already late.

From the moment she let him out of her house and let his thoughts wander into her. It's already day. This is very, very much. And how many “bad omens”: she cannot be the first to call him, she constantly remembers something, she wants him to belong only to her, and she is happy, although she does not admit it.

Ownership feeling. It sits in each of us. This makes her angry. “Why can’t I just be happy with what we had, and it doesn’t matter if there’s something next.” I want lightness.

Is it possible to be happy about something if you don’t care about what happens next? And why do you need a man who you don’t want to appropriate?

Since when did we decide that let everyone do what they want. We are all free. It's just in vain.

He said he wanted to be with her. Silence about love. It's right. They're friends. That's what they think. Now they are just a man and a woman. And so she replies that he is free, he can have anyone else... This is such a look modern woman for friendship with a man. Only for some reason this woman with happy, frightened eyes talks only about her “friend”.

“Yes, it seems I don’t have a friend anymore...” All that was left from Mahito was mint and ice. We go out to solar center. Towards - handsome men– they smile at us. She doesn't see, doesn't notice.

This is a common female desire to be with a man. Be it. But where is he? Left... Will be back soon... She wants to know, is afraid to know... Most likely, she will exhaust herself with thoughts - this is already halfway. And really, why can’t it be simpler? It's like we're driving ourselves into a trap. Why can’t you be friends erotically without burdening your brain with unnecessary thoughts and questions?

Because we want to suffer and torment? No, we don't want to. Honestly. Why not be friends with a person you like for mutual pleasure and benefit? Someone would explain how... But no. A woman, if a man suits her, turns from a gentle cat into a hunter, a bitch, prone to interrogations, jealousy and other nightmares. She wants this man for her undivided use.

Here they are, the reasons for the almost absolute impossibility of such a wonderful friendship:

– A woman, no matter how freedom-loving she may be, is determined to start a family, therefore, she needs reliability, she makes plans, etc.

– A woman needs to feel. Well, could it be good sex completely without feelings? So she will fall in love a little after all. A little - it's still in best case scenario. And since she feels something, she will want to have her friend completely. Only for myself. And the friendship is over.

– It’s easier with a friend. But only at the beginning. She managed to tell him a lot about herself. What she likes, what she wants. It's easy for her. But only first. Gradually she gets scared and closes down. Unconsciously. He's no longer a friend. He's a man. He is her man. And she is silent.

- Fear. A vague, absurd fear appears. That there will be no friendship. And even worse - nothing will happen. And friendship is forgotten. And thoughts - again and again. About him. Not about a friend. About a man.

– Will we be friends with a man if we are not attracted to him? Then, one way or another, there is always the possibility of having sex with him. And is there a place for friendship here? It ends exactly the moment you touch each other. Like lovers, writes superstyle.ru.

– Friendship is possible, of course. But for as long as you want each other, it’s something else...

“Sex brings us together so much,” she says. “A person becomes so... Too close. Almost like family. He was like that - but this is different.” Completely different. He is no longer a friend. They on different sides bed. And not a word about friendship. And it’s too early to talk about love. And scary.

The idea for writing this article came after one of our colleagues told us ordinary story, but with a very important subtext. He was standing in line at the supermarket checkout. There were several people ahead of him, and at the very beginning there was a little girl holding a bag of candy in her hands. At the same time, she did not make a purchase, but simply looked in confusion at the other customers who, paying at the checkout, passed by her. But one man noticed the girl standing alone and asked her if she needed help. The girl replied that she wanted to buy candy. The man let her go ahead so she could pay, and then made his purchase. She was too nice and didn't want to bother the cashier. So the girl just waited for someone to pay attention to her.

This story teaches one important lesson:

When you try to be good to everyone, they simply don't notice you.

But this story has a continuation that points to another thought. When it was our colleague’s turn to make a purchase, a woman called out to him from behind. He immediately noticed that she had three small children with her, and she was holding a bottle of water in her hands. The woman politely asked to be let ahead because she only had one bottle, unlike our colleague’s filled basket. He let her through, of course, and then paid for it himself.

And from this comes another important lesson:

By speaking directly about your desires, you will get what you want faster.

Many people sacrifice their interests in order to appear good. But by and large, this is just a deception, which does not bring any benefit. Quite the contrary. Classic situation: in a restaurant they serve you undercooked meat or you find it on your plate. long hair. In every sense, it is right to report this to the restaurant staff in order to prevent similar incidents in the future, thereby taking care of other customers as well. But a person who is too nice to point out the restaurant's shortcomings to the waiter will remain silent. Due to the fact that he is uncomfortable telling others the unpleasant truth, he will prefer to sacrifice his interests. It follows that…

…good people are afraid to be honest

But tell the waiter the truth in this case is not rude or picky. This your right client. And silence is tantamount to lying, especially if before leaving the waiter kindly asks you if everything was okay. People who try to appear nice prefer to skirt the truth so as not to disappoint their interlocutor. However, they do not always realize that their lies are destructive. And first of all for themselves.

A good man is a weak man

Many people think that pleasing others makes them look good, when in fact they are not. People around pay attention to this quality and begin to use it. Excessive kindness is a bait. Such good-natured people are considered stupid and weak, and they often become victims of deception or robbery. Despite the fact that each of us was taught from childhood to be polite and kind, you must see the difference between what is really good and what is not. You can only show kindness to those who do it in return. Being honest is the mark of a truly good person. The truth, even if it is unpleasant, should be hidden only if it does not change anything. IN otherwise this is a sign of cowardice.

Good people don't speak directly

Instead, they pepper the conversation with irrelevant backstories or excuses. And this is done again in order to seem positive. However, they do not understand that this behavior is conspicuous and annoying.

It is better to tell the person directly what you want, because streamlined phrases will not change their meaning. Maybe his house is on fire, and you spend half an hour ranting about how fires in this area have become more frequent and what to do new life It is possible without old furniture.

To be heard, speak clearly

A successful person uses clear language and always speaks to the point. Especially when it comes to work, where insincerity can lead to financial losses. Such people are valued more for their reliability and professionalism. In business, no one needs your sweet praise and fawning. You must be trusted as a partner. And if this requires sometimes being tough, then they will love you even more for it.

A person who is too good resembles a child whose body has grown, but not his soul.

In fact, real respect goes to the not-so-nice guys. You need to be decent, strong, fair, but you don’t have to be good, especially if it brings you harm. Being nice is not the best best quality adult man. This trait is more suitable for children - for this they are forgiven everything. But children do not confront the problems of our world. Unlike you.

Be sincere and don't deceive yourself. This is also useful in relationships with women. To gain their recognition, words will definitely not be enough. Good guy for a girl, this is the one who will take care of her and prove his love through actions. And you can say sweet words about love, but only after.

Sometimes you have to be tough

It is impossible to always be good in order to remain attractive to others. In some situations you will have to be tough, otherwise you will become an easy target for others. Let's give a rough one, but clear example. Let's say you are attacked by a ferocious dog. She has a death grip on your hand or body and is not going to let go. The only way to get rid of her bite is to hit her with something heavy. Will you think about the fact that she will be in pain and suffer? First of all, you will think about the safety of your life. First of all, they are important for everyone own interests. And to follow them, you need to free yourself from the strong grip of conformism.

(panda @ 03/22/2015 - time: 21:55)
(Lady Mechanika @ 03/22/2015 - time: 21:48)
Analogue for clarity...

Can a good, kind person be a scientist? Think carefully before answering.

Scientists they are, they cut and poison animals for the sake of science, they invent all sorts of chemistry, and then they equip this chemistry for chemical research. ammunition. They climb into the depths of matter, and then emerge into the light atomic bombs and "Chernobyl". They tinker with genes, and then children come out of test tubes - they are mutants not from God. Or else there will be more.

And in general, it was said - “If evil is to be stopped, all the books should be taken away and burned” ©
Or even as the good Christian German Sterligov said - “Scientists must be destroyed like rabid dogs!”

At the absolute, pure goodness, the face of a slobbering imbecile... draw your own conclusions.

Absolutely right. It’s not for nothing that Castaneda argued that the mind is a product of dark forces))

Although the mind is good only in certain doses, if there is too much of it, it begins to cause harm... Starting from the owner himself and ending with the scale of the universe)
So it is not surprising that scientists can do evil. But they can also do good. Everything again depends on the goals and results.
Here's a good example: last ruler.. The man is undoubtedly smart and well-read, but where has his mind led him... into what jungle...

I'll tell you my story last birth. The one I remember, naturally, and not the one they told me. I won’t spend a long time explaining things that you just need to accept and not explain. So. I remember how I died in my last incarnation. Nothing special happened. But it was annoying that I couldn’t tell people about what I discovered after my death. But I discovered that there is no death. There is no body, but there is consciousness. But... consciousness without a body fell asleep. And then I woke up. And when I woke up, I found Him, whom I had been looking for all my past life and never found until I died...His Presence is Bliss. Hmm yeah. But let's continue the story. I suddenly realized that my past life was a waste of time. Moreover, she was criminal towards Him, but...at that moment I completely forgot that my past life had already been shown to me by Him earlier - in my past incarnations. And this one I lived life of crime was not an accident. I will omit the story of what I did in that life. It doesn't matter. Absolutely. I just decided to return back to this world in order to correct what I had done... He laughed at my attempts to leave paradise. And showed me my true aspirations. It turned out that I just wanted to return and enjoy those things that still kept me in this world separated from Him. And He allowed me to return to this world. And showed me all of mine future life which I will have to live. And then....Then I saw a white light that came from all sides and I saw nothing but this light. And then I felt the Loss. I left heaven and came to this world again. Such are the things. And then....Then I decided to return to Him. It was frivolous. I headed back to Him, already guessing that I would not be accepted into heaven with Him, because something had already been created for me in this world. new Reality, as well as for those who will come into this world with me, and in which I will have to live long life as long as a moment of Eternity. He greeted me kindly and showed me that in this world separated from Him, those with whom I am connected karmically are waiting for me and that they have already come to this world to meet me again. And this meeting cannot be canceled. When I grew up, my parents told me that I died when I was six months old, but then came to life again after my parents began to bother me.

I didn't just tell mine mystical story. Pay attention to your dreams...)