Many men are interested in this question. After all, this is not uncommon - many couples lose the novelty of sensations, quarrels and scandals push them to cheat. Let's figure out how, why and why girls cheat on men.
Why and why girls cheat - answers from a psychologist
The most common reason for girls cheating is revenge. After all, men are not angels either, and it happens that he himself is the first to cheat. Some women can come to terms with this and forgive, some leave, and some begin to take revenge.
Just out of a desire to hurt too. Usually such betrayals occur with the first person they meet - a work colleague, a friend, or simply with someone whom she met in a restaurant, where the girl went to “drown” her resentment in alcohol.
Actually it's not the best way out– relationships in which there is a place for revenge will not last long. Besides, it can go whole chain betrayal - each partner begins to take revenge on the other. It is clear that this will not lead to anything good.
The second reason why girls decide to cheat is money. If a guy can't provide beautiful life girl, she can also start cheating. In this case, she most often finds herself a wealthy lover. But does a man need such a relationship? If money is important to her first and foremost, then let her live with it. And love for her - empty place. Moreover, such betrayals will continue indefinitely.
Another reason why girls cheat is dissatisfaction in bed. If a man does not care about his partner’s pleasure, cheating may also begin. But if a girl loves, then the bed is not the main thing for her.
Love and passion are different things, although they often go hand in hand. But love is the desire to be close to the man you love, and not just pleasure in bed. This is also a reason to think – is this necessary? After all, such betrayals will happen more than once.
Sometimes a girl can cheat in order to compare her man with others. This usually happens if this is her first partner. Although this happens quite rarely, it does happen. If a woman loves, then she will not need any comparison.
And finally, another reason related to constant jealousy. Some men are so jealous and control the girl in everything that for her, cheating becomes a breath of freedom, self-affirmation that she is still an individual and can make her own decisions.
At all, strong control inappropriate in a relationship - if you don’t trust each other, why create a couple at all?
You can name a few more situations where girls cheat on guys. But you need to understand the main thing - if a girl loves, then she will never cheat.
Many married couples, throwing in their lot with each other, had no idea that married life is very unpredictable and requires a lot of effort to preserve the first feelings and sensations. After all, all the euphoria of sensations disappears after three months married life. After all, feelings tend to cool down or disappear, and this becomes one of the main reasons for spouses to cheat.
A lot of guys think about why girls cheat and how to survive cheating. At first glance, it seems that it is impossible to survive such an act, but on the other hand, women forgive their men for betrayal more than once. Then why do men think that this is impossible if women experience these actions of their spouses quite naturally.
All men are vulnerable and very secretive. Think about which side to approach this situation from, so as not to upset yourself and not overwhelm yourself. psychological trauma. After all, betrayal is not an attack on your self-sufficient life.
Some specific tips on how to survive a girl’s betrayal:
After you find out about the betrayal, don't start using your imagination. Don’t think that the man with whom she cheated on you is much more beautiful, stronger, richer and more promising than you. It is possible that the man was simply used by her. Show your beloved that you are stronger than many and cheating on you is just one of the black streaks in your married life.
Don't disown her or send her to hell, on the contrary, maintain your relationship and talk to her in a normal, calm and cheerful tone as if nothing happened. After all, she will expect a scandal, reproaches and abnormal behavior from you, and when she receives the completely opposite, she herself will be ashamed of her action and she will realize her guilt faster;
Understand yourself and think about whether you need her after what she changed. Maybe she is not right for you, but not you for her, and it would be better to forget her and let her go. If you can forgive her for her actions, then pull yourself together and have patience and effort;
If you broke up with this girl, then don’t even think about closing yourself off. On the contrary, have fun and move on with your life. There will always be someone around you to choose. After all, girls love optimistic and interesting men;
Develop mentally and physically. Find yourself something new suitable hobby. As you develop yourself, you will see how many people will want to communicate with you better and get to know you. Do not stoop to the level of an alcoholic and psychologically unstable person. Just be yourself, work, live and start enjoying life. Do everything the way you want it, and not as others tell you.
Basically, guys perceive information that girls cheat as dissatisfaction with sex. His worth as a representative of the stronger sex for young man comes to the fore. And then he gets carried away by his own imagination. He begins to think that his competitor is more beautiful, stronger, richer and more successful. Self-complexity appears. The young man begins to consume alcohol to give himself, as he thinks, confidence and courage. If you do not stop it in time, this behavior will lead to bad consequences.
It is necessary to calm down, find out, but without self-flagellation about what happened. Consider whether you are able to forgive your own lover. Just keep in mind that, most likely, even after you forgive, thoughts about her betrayal will not leave your head, you will not be able to trust her, as you did before. If you want to continue the relationship with her, but at the same time constantly monitoring and checking her, then absolutely nothing good will come from this relationship.
It is likely that after a girl has cheated, the best option would be to forgive her and let her go, to stop her relationship with such a girl. Naturally, to achieve desired result will require self-control and feeling self-esteem. In order not to become limp from parting with your beloved, take up one or another exciting activity, find yourself a passion that will take up almost all of your free time.
There is no need to start a new relationship immediately. After all, you know that past feelings have not yet cooled down and the new relationship is considered only a replacement for the past relationship. And are you capable of limitlessly trusting a new girl, since you still have that terrible feeling in your soul for the entire fair sex?
Don't keep your thoughts inside yourself. There is no need to become depressed and exhaust yourself with memories for a very long time. Talk to your friends, talk to people close to you.
Take a break from bad thoughts and try to redirect your enthusiasm to work, study or sports passions. It is likely that your former partner did not forbid you to attend football matches, so now you have a great opportunity to review all the matches involving your favorite team. We hope that our tips helped you answer the question: “How to survive a girl’s betrayal.”
Why do girls cheat - the opinion of a psychologist
My name is Anton, I am 28 years old. Please advise me: is it worth forgiving betrayal? Three last year I lived in a civil marriage with a girl. We had a great relationship until September of this year. The problem is that my girlfriend really loves discos. I stopped going to them a long time ago, but I let her go with her friends, naively relying on her decency. My girlfriend met a young man there who, in principle, was nothing at all. A simple playmaker with endless discos, pubs, parties and friends.
I am a completely different kind of person. For me, the most important thing is family, home. I only brought my entire salary home and supported it almost entirely. My girlfriend fell in love with this young man and cheated on me with him. I took it all very hard, tried in every possible way to get her back, but then she only wanted to be with him.
Yesterday she told me that her relationship with this young man was a mistake, that she appreciates my love and affection, years of care and everything like that. She wants to return our relationship, to start all over again. And although I still love her, there is some kind of barrier in front of me. I'm afraid the situation will repeat itself. In addition, for last month I almost got over it. And most likely she just wants to come back for the money. I managed to earn enough for a decent two-room apartment, I have new position with a good salary. That young man did not give her a single gift, but my money ex-girlfriend, to put it mildly, is not indifferent.
I have a choice: start new life With clean slate or try to improve relations with the person who betrayed me. How to proceed? Should betrayal be forgiven? Anton Rudy."
Should you forgive your girlfriend for cheating on you? Psychologist Elena Poryvaeva answers
In my opinion, with this question posed, there can only be one answer - of course, in no case should you trust someone who betrayed you once!!!
Naturally, you have experienced deep disappointment, pain and devastation. It is these feelings that do not allow you to look at the situation from the other side: what began to happen between you, how did the relationship “get stuck”, stopped developing? Three years is enough time to decide whether you want to be together, start a family, or whether your relationship has outlived its usefulness and has ceased to satisfy both or one of you. Cheating on a girl is quite often quite strong argument in order for the two to reconsider the rules by which relationships exist. This happens if partners have no other ways to communicate their difficulties, dissatisfaction and irritation.
Perhaps if you manage to talk to each other, discuss plans for later life(joint or separate), express your true feelings, then you will have a chance to regain trust in each other. It is also quite possible that you both will realize that your union has no future. This, of course, is very sad, but then, indeed, each of you will have a chance to start life with a “clean slate”, free from disappointments, resentments and irritation.
Every person strives for love in life. If we take girls into account, then for many, family and relationships become the key goal in life. It’s so nice to feel care, tenderness and affection. It would seem that having met the man you love, you can enjoy life and have fun. But here everything is not so simple - sometimes harmony collapses due to such an unpleasant phenomenon as female infidelity.
Why is this happening? Why does a girl who dates and says she loves her suddenly find a replacement partner?
Why did the girl cheat - the main reasons
Unlike men, girls do not cheat because they wanted a relationship on the side, so to speak, new sensations. If a lady took such an extreme step, it means she had important reason do so. For men, it is necessary to know these reasons - in order to avoid such a situation in the next relationship.
5 real reasons why a girl decides to cheat
The man is not attractive
It’s no secret to anyone that the candy-bouquet period in a relationship is the most beautiful. Everyone shows the best that he has - men show:
- persistence;
- attention;
- generosity;
- affection and care.
A woman evaluates these qualities first of all. If she sees interest, if a man seeks her with everything possible ways- how to stand here. But now the period of courtship is over, the lady has been conquered - and men stop pretending to be a gallant gentleman. He doesn’t look after her, doesn’t help her take off her coat, doesn’t ask how she’s doing and how she’s feeling.
Moreover, if a man and a woman start living together, then the partner becomes a consumer - when the girl provides for everyday life, and he takes it for granted. It is unlikely that such changes will be to your liking. After all, the girl expected that care and affection would remain at the same level. But after the need to pretend to be the best has disappeared, the guy becomes indifferent, dependent, passive.
The woman is not satisfied with this state of affairs, but on the other hand, she feels guilty because they are already like family and it is impossible to leave a relationship that has already been built and she does not leave. Therefore, if a man appears on the horizon who represents women's dreams- then betrayal will probably happen.
Pathological jealousy
One of the reasons why a girl cheats on a man is his pathological jealousy. Most men are owners. Having received something, they try with all their might to convince others that they have complete power. Unfortunately, this also applies to relationships. Having won a girl, such men begin to consider her an inanimate object, which must obey only his whims and should not communicate with other people.
Sometimes it comes to the point that such jealous people cut off contacts between their lady and the people around her. So aggressive behavior on the part of the loved one quickly begins to tire.
Constant control, checks, quarrels out of the blue can throw anyone off balance. As a result, an understanding comes that if a person is jealous and causes a scandal in any case, then let it be for the sake of it.
Money plays just as important a role
Among the reasons why girls sometimes go to the left is something as banal as money. Modern society promotes the cult of consumption. Everyone wants to buy expensive clothes to emphasize their status. Gadgets, accessories, trips to expensive restaurants, trips abroad - this greatly attracts young girls.
While some earn such a living themselves, many follow the simple way– looking for wealthy lovers. As soon as the next boyfriend gets into financial difficulties, they, without hesitation, change him for a more promising one.
Male infidelity
Not on last place There is also the factor that problems arise in relationships regarding male infidelity. If a girl comes across a man who adheres to free views, she will be forced to endure his periodic trips to the left. Or he will do the same in revenge, perhaps even with former boyfriends.
She is looking for an ideal
This reason most often concerns young girls who, on the one hand, are afraid of being left alone, but at the same time are constantly looking for the most the best option. Wherein material side may not be in first place.
Usually this problem arises with those girls who have dreamed of a prince on a white horse for too long.
They idealize the dream, endowing it with all possible advantages. At the same time, having met real person with shortcomings, they become disappointed.
And when they meet a new person who has some bright trait, they take such a step as cheating on the guy they love.
Psychology of female infidelity
Female infidelity is not as simple a factor as it might seem. If a man needs only one impulse to cheat, then the girl will think for a very long time and figure out the pros and cons of this action.
At the heart of female infidelity are feelings. Usually a lady simply begins to feel in love, which pushes her into the arms of a strange man. Moreover, after betrayal, most often a woman experiences a feeling of shame, embarrassment, guilt - in general, a whole range of emotions that do not allow her to live in peace.
You can even say that cheating on your beloved guy is very long haul, which has been suffered, thought out and weighed several times. This is not simple satisfaction physiological needs, but rather a search for spiritual freedom and tranquility.
Why do you dream that a girl is cheating?
Dreams can be pleasant and not very pleasant, and sometimes you may dream that a girl has started cheating. What to do - run to figure it out or not pay attention, pick up a dream book or move on with your life in peace?
In general, psychology says that sleep is a reflection of internal experiences. What a person sees in a dream is usually associated with the emotions that he experienced the day before. Perhaps you witnessed some emotional scene, watched a film with a similar plot - and this became the basis for a dream. Then you don’t have to worry and you can calmly forget about this dream.
But if you previously caught yourself thinking that your girlfriend began to behave suspiciously, thoughts about another man appeared, then you should probably pay more attention to such a warning from the subconscious.
If we take the explanations of the dream book, then betrayal on the part of a loved one can be interpreted as a betrayal of friends or problems at work. Assess the situation around you, remember everything that could alert you - perhaps the cause of such a dream was some third-party unpleasant situation, and the beloved has absolutely nothing to do with it.
Why men can cheat, but girls can't
There is an opinion in society that male infidelity in principle, it’s not treason at all, but maintaining the status of a polygamous male. Such actions are practically not condemned by other people, and many even show respect for the “active conquerors.” And vice versa, female infidelity is condemned, condemned, and the traitor herself is awarded a huge number of negative epithets.
So why are men allowed to cheat, but women are not? Disputes on numerous forums do not subside - men prove their right to walk to the left without judgment, women argue about whether they can or cannot cheat on their significant other.
There is simply no single solution to this issue, since each person makes a decision based on his own moral principles. It can hardly be said that betrayal in itself is normal. When man walking to take this step - this indicates that he has problems that he cannot solve.
It would seem that it would be easier than to break off old relationships and freely embark on new ones. But for the majority, for some reason this path seems wrong, for many it is easier to cheat on a partner, pretending that nothing is happening.
Many believe that treason in to a greater extent guys are capable because in their own way natural essence they are polygamous. However, girls often cheat too.
It is difficult for a man to understand what was the reason for such an act, because his significant other for a long time remained faithful and loved him. Why do girls cheat on guys? Let's try to figure out the reasons.
Lack of attention, routine and boredom
Often a guy, when dating a girl, forgets that the fair sex requires maximum attention. Frequent telephone conversations, flowers, compliments - this is what makes a woman feel loved and unique.
The old expression “A woman loves with her ears” is more relevant than ever today. Tell your beloved about your feelings more often, do not forget to call her the most beautiful and desirable, whisper sweet words in her ear - then your chosen one will feel self-confident and reciprocate your feelings.
In a long relationship that lasts more than one year, the girl begins to get bored, and your emotional connection plunges into the whirlpool of routine. It may happen that at work or in noisy company your girlfriend will meet a person who will add new emotions to her, make her life more eventful and fun. And it doesn’t matter what this man will be like - the main thing is that he will give her what she lacks in her current relationship.
It is not a fact that a new acquaintance will develop into betrayal, but a man needs to try not to turn his relationship into a dull coexistence, so that his beloved does not look for adventures on the side.
Irregular intimate relationships or lack thereof
Not the best common reason female infidelity, but still occurring in some relationships. With a long-term relationship, it happens that intimacy happens less and less often, and the family bedroom turns into a place to sleep.
When a girl doesn't get satisfaction, it encourages her to fill the void elsewhere. In addition, it seems to her that if a guy does not strive for frequent sex, then he does not feel desire for her. And then, in search of a flurry of emotions and new sensations, the girl finds herself another partner.
Money factor
Not all women are selfish, but some of them date a man for money or gifts. While a man takes a girl to restaurants, gives her gold jewelry or pays for services in beauty salons, she is satisfied with everything, but as soon as the guy starts having money problems, she starts looking for another sponsor. IN family relationships the situation is a little different. 
The reason for betrayal of the spouse may be his insolvency, poor earnings, which are not enough to support the family, the husband’s lack of desire for career growth– a woman needs a male breadwinner who can provide for her and create favorable conditions for raising children.
Passed love, new feelings
One of the features female psychology– a strong emotional connection with a partner. While a girl is in love, she is unlikely to look for a new partner, but as soon as this connection disappears, betrayal is quite possible.
It happens that even a woman in love, when she meets a man who is more interesting and attractive in her opinion, gradually loses interest in her old lover and turns her attention to the new one.
Cheating after party
It happens that in company a girl can drink too much, flirt with a stranger, and in the morning wake up in the same bed with him and regret her action. Of course, a man should not choose a partner who is addicted to alcohol, although alcoholic drinks are more likely not a reason for cheating, but rather a kind of motivator - they only remove the psychological barrier, while cheating itself indicates that the girl is frivolous and has already found herself in similar situations in the past .
Treason as revenge
Many girls are very emotional, so they may sleep with another man simply out of revenge on their partner. In this way, the beloved can react to a quarrel, some kind of insult, or something that she has become aware of. In the heat of it common sense emotions overshadow her, she is burning with the desire to take revenge, to hurt you, but subsequently this act causes her regret and emotional distress. 
Any betrayal is the fault of both partners, but in most cases it is the man who is responsible for emotional condition girls. If a guy thinks that she should constantly sit at home and silently carry out her duties - cleaning, cooking, then betrayal is inevitable. If a man fully satisfies all her needs, gives her a feeling of happiness and irreplaceability, then the girl will not even think about cheating.
This need does not depend on social status, financial situation, level of education. In love, we expect to receive respect, care and attention, protection; we strive for self-realization and self-improvement.
The most seemingly simple thing, but often the most difficult thing in life, is to meet a person with whom all this and much more would become a real possibility.
Very often, an obstacle to the emergence and development of love and relationships becomes the betrayal of a partner (present or in the past). And, if with a man’s betrayal everything is more or less clear, then on the woman’s side everything is not so clear.
Male and female infidelity: is there a difference?
Common motives for male infidelity
It is believed that a man cheats because of polygamy, that his betrayal is based mainly on physical attraction to the representative(s) of the opposite sex, on a historically “programmed” model of behavior based on the desire for reproduction and the appearance of offspring.
And, despite the fact that we now live in a civilized world, we generally take a deliberate approach to creating families and procreation, somewhere in the subconscious this same polygamy is still present and manifested.
What are the reasons for female infidelity?
As for female infidelities, everything cannot be “attributed” to the same reason. A woman is the keeper of the hearth, a mother, and, in contrast to male polygamy, she is characterized by monogamy. She initially approaches the choice of a partner very carefully, placing certain demands on him.
However modern society transformed the woman. Her demands went beyond “strong, healthy, resilient”, “we need such a man to have healthy children.” The woman has become more independent, independent, and self-sufficient. And she is looking for the same person.
At the same time, a woman still has a strong need to receive and distribute accumulated feelings and emotions, and for spiritual intimacy.
The main reasons for female infidelity
To understand the motive of a woman’s infidelity, it is necessary to plunge into her psychology, analyze many factors: from internal state to what is happening in the world around her.
So, why do girls cheat? Among the reasons for betrayal, named by women themselves, identified by psychologists, the following can be considered:
"Undervalued" by current companion
Often in a couple, the man does not value the woman; on his part there is no understanding, respect, or love for her. Many representatives of the stronger half of humanity take their girlfriends/wives for granted, get used to their attention and care, stop noticing their merits, relegating them to the category of ordinary human qualities.
While every woman, regardless of age, life experience, the profession wants to be not only in demand, but strives to be one of a kind, unique, and... appreciated.
If she does not receive the expected “reward” from her boyfriend or husband - praise, compliments, attention and reciprocal care, then it is likely that sooner or later she will try to compensate for this lack in a relationship with another man.
Complete immersion in a relationship or excessive control on the part of a man
The first reason is partially echoed by another: a woman’s desire for some kind of self-affirmation, to receive a “sip of freedom.”
This may be due to the fact that she is too “dissolved” in the relationship, “sacrifices” her time and health in the interests of the man, and then gets tired of being “in the shadows”, “strains herself” and in an effort to break out of vicious circle"comes to treason."
This reason is also typical for those ladies who are under total control on the part of the partner: he is jealous, systematically checks her, often comes up with reasons to find fault and convict her of cheating.
This attitude towards a woman is not a prevention of infidelity, but, on the contrary, provokes its occurrence. IN in this case female infidelity is a protest, a speech against the current situation, an attempt to break off relationships that oppress her inner self.
Insufficient material security of the partner
As sad as it may be, it is worth recognizing that nowadays one of the reasons for cheating on the part of women is... money.
And to be more precise - their number. Unfortunately, many representatives of the fair sex have become mercantile and are looking for in their companions not so much “men” as sponsors - those who can not only provide a decent standard of living, but will fulfill almost any desire related to their material needs.
And, if the current partner does not “meet the bar” in this direction, a mercantile young lady can simultaneously look for someone who will “meet the bar.” This is how wealthy lovers appear who in rare cases become permanent life partners.
Search for “diversity”, novelty
Another reason for female infidelity (and male infidelity as well) is the lack of novelty in relationships and emotional stagnation. Relationships must develop. If this happens periodically or regularly, then most likely this union will be strong and reliable. As long as development continues.
As soon as one of the parties (or both) stops working on the relationship, it will begin to fade. Their content will increasingly resemble a habit, an attachment, and the relationship itself may become an unpleasant burden.
In an effort to diversify them, not everyone is able to use highly moral means and methods. Very often people follow the path least resistance”, namely, they cheat on regular partners, trying to add a “zest” to the existing relationship at the expense of new ones.
Constant conflicts and quarrels in relationships
Grievances, frequent quarrels and conflicts can “kill” a woman’s love for a man. Being under such emotional pressure, in constant stress and the daily expectation of confrontation in a relationship, the partner may cheat.
The desire to receive positive emotions, a charge of joy (albeit temporary) - in this case comes to the fore.
Response to male infidelity
Some women are capable of betrayal “in revenge” for the betrayal of a close man. In this case, it doesn’t matter to them to whom it happens and how, what matters is the essence itself - to take revenge for the pain caused, the insult, the humiliation that she experienced.
On occasion, without any motive
Among the less common reasons for female infidelity, there are still “accident” and infidelity “for company.” This may sound like anything: stupid, ridiculous and irresponsible, but, nevertheless, it has a place.
Perhaps this happens due to some immaturity, lack of a sense of responsibility for actions, carelessness, and lack of love for a permanent partner. Most often, a casual relationship is based on strong physical arousal, which overshadows life principles.
Lack of experience, search for ideal
And, finally, I would like to mention one more reason for cheating, which concerns mainly young and/or inexperienced young ladies. Often young girls cheat on guys if this is their first relationship experience.
The motive for betrayal in this case is comparison physical qualities partners and their relationship to her: who and how much time and attention she devotes to her, how often she gives gifts (and whether she gives them at all), and so on.
In this case, for a girl, cheating is a kind of “tool for learning” about herself in a relationship with a guy and guys in a relationship with her, as well as an attempt to form and search for “ ideal model» relationships.
Is it possible to avoid cheating on the part of a woman?
We saw that there are many reasons for female infidelity. They can be neglected or not given importance. They can be considered ridiculous excuses for failure or inferiority.
But, if you do not take them into account, then you may encounter a certain “déjà vu” - repeated betrayals by the same companion, or betrayals by different partners in future relationships.
- Analyze yourself, the mistakes you make in relationships, try not to repeat them.
- Constantly develop yourself - mentally and physically, find a hobby that will help you express yourself and will contribute to your development as a holistic person.
- Be optimistic - a sense of humor and a state of happiness, satisfaction - attract, fuel interest and bring variety to any relationship.
- If in one relationship you have already encountered female infidelity, you should not “plunge” into a new relationship immediately after their breakup, and you should also not withdraw into yourself and engage in continuous self-criticism. It is better to spend this time usefully - with loved ones, at work/study, or doing a hobby.
- If you are in a relationship and everything suits you, do not neglect the manifestations of your feelings - give love, tenderness, pay attention to your woman. Remember, despite the voiced unconditionality of love, it is important for the partner to receive its confirmation.
- Make decisions, be tougher, more persistent in some ways, don’t stop there - believe me, these qualities are needed not so much by a woman as by you.
Of course, these wishes are not an absolute guarantee of “prevention” of female infidelity. Like, in general, any others: you are responsible for yourself and your actions, but not for the actions of another person.
To forgive or not to forgive?
The question of forgiveness for betrayal, it seems, should be classified as rhetorical. This is more a question of your own attitude to such situations, a question of morality and human values.
Despite the significance of most of the named reasons for female infidelity, the main thing does not change - their essence. And, in fact, this is nothing more than a betrayal of trust and feelings. Cheating is a line that cannot be crossed. Neither men nor women.
Decency, integrity, good manners - this is what should act as a certain barrier to any betrayal. Whatever dissatisfaction there is in a relationship, everything can be resolved. In them or outside of them (here “outside” means the break and non-renewal of relations with exes). A person who values loyalty and reliability is unlikely to be able to forgive betrayal.
Of course, religion and some other beliefs can encourage forgiveness, give internal forces on him. But only a specific man in a specific situation can decide this. At the same time, you need to take into account and weigh how strong the desire to forgive is, whether you have the ability to do it.
May occur global issue: is it worth, in principle, to forgive? A possible answer can be boiled down to the following: you need to forgive, if only in order not to dwell on the pain caused, and to give yourself the opportunity to move on. But with or without this woman - that, as they say, is a completely different story.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Did your girlfriend cheat on you? Don't you dare suffer! Don't try to make a scandal with her! Don’t even think about shedding tears and snot and asking her why she did this to you! Remember that you are a man, you are a warrior, you are a winner, you are the stronger sex after all! How can some female, and since she cheated on you, it’s hard to call her a person, so we’ll call her a female, unsettle you? Come on, it’s not appropriate for you to bother with such a petty problem - have pride, remember your fortitude, your masculine qualities and just step over the unworthy female individual who allowed herself to do this to you. Do you think this is difficult to do? Your heart is broken, your soul is blackened, and you can’t just forget about betrayal? Well, then let's try to better understand what a girl's betrayal is and how to survive it.
First of all, let's find out why they, girls, women, cheat on their men? You know, I wouldn’t like to write now about all sorts of instincts and the natural essence of a woman; I have written about this in detail in other articles. Let me just say that the tendency to cheat is part of women’s nature. And ours, the men’s too, by the way. We are also scoundrels, not all of us, of course, but many. We deceive and betray women, cause them great pain and suffering, and after that we somehow still live, somehow managing to look at ourselves in the mirror. Still, whatever you say, in this sense we worse than women- We men cause women much more suffering than they do to us. But to our credit, we are not all like that. They, women, too, by the way. But that’s not what we’re talking about now. It's about what's in our human nature, the tendency to cheat is very deeply entrenched, and only our mind is able to curb it. So that's what I'm getting at with all this. And besides, if a girl cheated on you, this does not mean that you are somehow different, that there is something wrong with you, that you are a bad male and all that. So, throw all such thoughts and their derivatives out of your head. You may be, and I'm sure you are, quite yourself normal man, a normal guy who did everything for his girlfriend, but... What happened happened. Yes, they still cheat on us, no matter how cool we are. Why? Yes, because they are simply drawn to new sensations, to pleasure, to emotional experiences, to something new, not necessarily better, but simply new. For them, it’s like buying a damn handbag in a store; a woman just liked it and therefore was bought by her. So things are the same with betrayal - she wanted it - she took it and changed it. In general, the whole point here is the lack of correct, and in our case, traditional education, the absence of correct, that is, again, traditional system values, and simply the lack of brains of a girl who cheated on you without thinking about the consequences of her action. Well, you know, passion, feelings, emotions curbed her poor head. And the consequences, here are some, and perhaps many women and girls, think about them, of course, later. And very often, many of them, having realized and felt these consequences, regret what they did. After all, often after their betrayal they lose more, much more, than the person they cheated on. So your girlfriend, if she cheats on you, will most likely lose you, right? Will this make her feel better? Unknown.
So here it is simple reason, one might even say, primitive motivation, like that of the most ordinary female, pushes a woman to cheat. Well, the mind doesn’t always cope with internal urges, you know. How often can we curb our “wants” and do what we need to do? That's it. What would you like if consumer attitude to life and a thoughtless lifestyle have become part of our culture, then everything highest values they are simply not perceived by people. And in some cases they are even ridiculed. I personally read on forums on the Internet how some women ridiculed women’s decency and honesty, arguing that being a lying bitch is much more profitable, that no one needs decency and honesty. Here you are, dear reader, you need decent and honest people, in particular women, girls? I think they are needed. But some women claim that they are not needed. This is our culture today, everything is mixed up in it. But overall, I think this culture is backward. When pleasure is paramount, and honor, honesty, conscience, respect, decency, loyalty, love, become the subject of ridicule, and some people do not understand these things at all, then it turns out that we are simply reaping what we sow. Culture makes us human, and you can see for yourself in what condition we have it. So it wasn’t the girl who cheated on you, it was the product of this culture that cheated on you. However, there are girls with good upbringing and a completely worthy system of values, so let’s not lump everyone with the same brush. Let's move on to the next question.
What to do about it? I mean treason. Well, what do you do if you come across a defective item? You probably change it. Here too, if you think that you deserve the best, or rather, the best girl, then you are looking for this best girl, and release your traitor to all four directions. In the end, your girlfriend is only conditionally yours, on the terms of your agreement with her, so to speak, and even legal marriage does not give you the right to fully control your partner’s life. In this sense, our culture, thank God, takes into account the interests of the individual. Therefore, if a person does not suit you, change him. And there is no need for unnecessary talk. Is it possible to replace a person? Can. If this person does not value you, if there is, so to speak, nothing sacred and nothing valuable for you left in him, then what kind of person is he, in the sense of what kind of personality is he? Well, what are the problems of replacing one that has made itself a thing? Really? Don’t be killed because someone didn’t appreciate you and didn’t live up to your expectations. If you saw in a person something more than he really is, then is it that person's fault? Well, don’t expect the apple tree to start bearing cherries. Of course, certain conclusions need to be drawn from this; after all, the girl’s betrayal could have happened, among other things, through your fault. Accept the possibility that you, too, are to blame for something. Just don’t ask your girlfriend what your fault is. This is actually a stupid question. You are unlikely to receive a truthful answer; you will most likely hear a lie with which the girl will want to justify herself. To understand what your fault may be for what happened, you need to objectively look at the whole situation as a whole, in the context of your entire life together with this girl, which is very difficult to do under the influence of emotions, that is, on your own. Seek help from your friends, if you have smart ones, and if you have them at all, I mean real friends, not so-so friends. Or better yet, contact a psychologist for help. Explain everything to him properly, in all the details, so to speak, and he will put everything in its place for you, that is, he will help you look at your situation from the outside and understand its pattern. This, in turn, will allow you to understand what role you played in what happened to you, and accordingly correct everything that you need to correct in yourself in order to prevent a repetition in the future similar situation. By the way, a psychologist will also help you with this.
You know, friends, after all, as life shows, and at the same time my experience in solving such problems, many girls, having cheated on their boyfriend, often sincerely repent of their actions. But they fully realize the vileness and stupidity of this act, mainly when they are faced with unfavorable consequences for them, when they lose their man because of this. Well, this is typical for people, especially for women, who for the most part are influenced by emotions, and therefore do not always know what they are doing. We, as they say, what we have, we don’t keep, but when we lose it, we cry. In general, we are short-sighted creatures. Not all of us, of course, but some of us truly cannot foresee the consequences of our actions. This does not mean that some people are in principle incapable of this, it means that they are not trained to do this. If a girl has not been taught that before doing something, you need to think about what will follow, then she does not think. And you know what, sometimes, sometimes, a girl’s betrayal can be forgiven. Yes, I understand that it is not becoming for a man to forgive such things, but it can still be done. They girls sometimes become wiser after something like this negative experience, and then they never change. I’m telling you this for sure, there are such cases and there are quite a few of them. You just see, some people can only learn something from own experience. But the main thing is that they can learn something, which is very good. That's why I say that you can forgive a girl for cheating if she really realized her mistake and sincerely repented of her action. But we all make mistakes. Well now, we are all on the chopping block because of this. Here, of course, you need to analyze the girl properly in order to understand whether her betrayal was a mistake, and in general she is not inclined to such actions, or whether she is a chronic cheater who can no longer be re-educated. And based on this, you can already make a decision - to forgive her or not. Of course, if you still have feelings for her, if you love her, then it makes sense to figure all this out. And if the feelings have died completely, well then you need to look for a replacement for this girl. There is no need to suffer, we need to act, we need to start a new life.
And here’s another point you need to consider, dear readers. Treason, of course, is a terrible sin, reproachable, condemned, deserving of punishment, but in our vicious world there is little purity and sinlessness left, so sometimes it is worth turning a blind eye to someone else’s sin, so as not to be judged for your own sins. But we all sin, or better said, we are all prone to sin. So why should we judge others. Better think about own life. For, as they say, no one is without sin. Do you understand what I'm talking about? Life may turn out in such a way that tomorrow you yourself may not be entirely honest with that girl who once, for example, now, cheated on you, because there are many temptations around us, and the sins of others can be used to justify your own sins, so that my conscience is not stuck. Who knows, maybe tomorrow you will also cheat on your girlfriend, and then what will you tell yourself, how will you justify your action? But today, now, you can simply hate her, you can suffer, suffer, find no place for yourself, because your Ego was hurt, because you were crap in your soul, because you were betrayed. So maybe you should think about tomorrow, about what action can you commit, not so much out of revenge, but out of a desire to experience pleasure? No, I am in no way suggesting that this is right, and that you are no better than your girlfriend, and that your possible tendency to cheat is an excuse for her. I just want you to think about what tomorrow might hold in your life and how your girlfriend's cheating on you might affect your decisions. What if you also want to cheat on her, what if? You understand, if you do this with an honest girl, you will be a real pig, but cheating on someone who once cheated on you is somehow morally easier. However, this is not universal look for treason, you understand. I just decided to show you from what other side you can look at it. It all depends on the specific situation and specific people. In some situations, cheating opens up completely new opportunities for the person who the girl cheated on.
In any case, on female infidelity A man's life does not end, it is just beginning. Any incident that shocks us, any blow of fate is a signal that is designed to draw our attention to our life, to our value system, to ourselves. You definitely need to change something, because if a girl cheated on you, then this means that what should have happened happened, you just didn’t see the prerequisites for it. Therefore, you need to change something in your life and in yourself. What exactly depends on the situation. Or you need to learn to choose the right girls, women who do not cheat, either you need to behave with them differently, so as not to push them towards cheating and not create conditions for it, or you need to change your lifestyle in order to be with your girlfriend more often, and not disappear all day at work , and so on. There are many options here. In general, you need to draw an objective conclusion from what happened, so that you can not only see the reason for her betrayal in the girl, but also find and understand your mistakes. You don’t need to live the way you used to, you need to change your life. We all deserve love and happiness, but each person has their own path to them. Therefore, such disgusting actions as betrayal [if it is unacceptable for you], which gives us the strongest heartache– guide us in the right direction, helping us achieve our happiness.