The history of the development of systemic family psychotherapy shows that this area of practice has developed differently than most psychotherapeutic schools and approaches. Many psychotherapeutic approaches describe cases of working with married couples or with child-parent conflicts. In the “Guide to family counseling and psychotherapy” (Horne, Ohlsen, 1982) describes work with families within the framework of various psychotherapeutic schools: transactional analysis, Gestalt therapy, client-centered approach, Adlerian and rational-emotive psychotherapy, behavioral psychotherapy and NLP.
At the same time, the development of systemic family psychotherapy is not associated with the development of individual psychotherapy. “The study of the family as a system has no history, no generally accepted concepts, no established discoveries” (Spiegel, Bell, 1959). In their monograph, Erickson and Hogan (1972) state that their review of the literature did not reveal any evidence that systemic family psychotherapy “grew” out of any pre-existing theoretical positions in psychotherapy.
The conceptual basis of systemic family psychotherapy was cybernetics, or more precisely, general systems theory. One of the founders of the general theory of systems, L. von Bertalanffy, showed that the concept of a system follows from the so-called “organismic view of the world.” This view is characterized by two provisions: a) the whole is greater than the sum of its parts; b) all parts and processes of the whole influence each other and determine each other. Thus, the basic idea of systemic family psychotherapy is that the family is a social system, that is, a complex of elements and their properties that are in dynamic connections and relationships with each other. A family is “a living organism that resembles a flame rather than a crystal” (Chernikov, 1997).
The family system is an open system; it is in constant exchange with the environment. The family system is a self-organizing system, that is, the behavior of the system is expedient, and the source of transformations of the system lies within itself (Chernikov, 1997). Based on this, it is clear that the people who make up a family act one way or another under the influence of the rules of functioning of a given family system, and not under the influence of their needs and motives. The system is primary in relation to the element included in it. It is clear that the object of psychotherapeutic influence is the entire family system as a whole, and not an individual person, an element of this system. Let's consider the general principles of the functioning of family systems.
Laws of functioning of family systems
The life of a family system is subject to two laws: the law of homeostasis and the law of development. The law of homeostasis says: every system strives for constancy, for stability. For the family this means that it is in every this moment strives to preserve the time of its existence status quo. Violation of this status is always painful for all family members, despite the fact that events may be joyful and long-awaited, for example, the birth of a child, the breakup of a painful marriage, etc. The law of constancy has enormous power. As research by Jay Haley (1980) has shown, due to the desire to prevent the matured child from leaving the family and thereby preserving the family structure, parents are able to tolerate any psychopathological behavior of the adolescent to the complete amazement of all outsiders. At the same time, the law of development operates: every family system strives to go through a full life cycle. It was noticed that the family goes through certain stages in its development, associated with some inevitable objective circumstances. One of these circumstances is physical time. The age of family members changes all the time and necessarily changes the family situation. As shown by Erik Erikson, everyone age period in a person’s life there correspond certain psychological needs that a person seeks to realize. As you age, your demands on life in general and on loved ones in particular change. This determines the style of communication and, accordingly, the family itself. The birth of a child, the death of an old person - all this significantly changes the structure of the family and the quality of interaction of family members with each other.
Family is like a river that you can never step into twice. A version of the typical American family life cycle has been proposed (Carter & McGoldrick, 1980).
1. The first stage is the life of a lonely young man, practically financially independent, living separately from his parents. This stage was called the “time of the monad.” It is very important for the formation of independent views on life, independent of parents.
2. The second stage begins at the moment of meeting the future marriage partner. Falling in love, romance, the emergence of the idea of a marriage union, that is, a long-term, stable relationship - all this applies to her. If this stage of the life cycle proceeds successfully, then the partners manage to exchange expectations regarding their future life together, and sometimes even agree on them.
3. The third stage is marriage, the union of lovers under one roof, the beginning of a joint household, a common life. This stage has been called “dyad time.” This is the time of the first family crisis. Young people must make an agreement on how to live together. In order to organize life, wittingly or unwittingly, it is necessary to decide how functions are distributed in the family, who comes up with and organizes entertainment, who makes decisions, what to spend money on, which spouse works and which doesn’t, when to have a child, what kind of behavior and appearance are sexually attractive and, and many similar equally important things. Some issues are easy to discuss and agree on, but some are difficult to discuss openly because preferences are often not clear and unspoken. This especially applies to sexual behavior. The young wife grew up in a family where external relaxation was not welcomed. Mom didn’t wear a robe, she wore shoes at home and put on makeup for dad’s arrival. Dad appreciated it. The young husband could not stand his wife in high heels. In his memories, high heels were worn by a teacher he hated. He loved his mother, who did not work and wore a robe and slippers at home. The wife, wanting to please her husband and dreaming of spending an evening of love at home, meets him on the doorstep wearing makeup and high heels. He, seeing her, thinks that she is ready to go out. He may have thought of spending a quiet evening at home, but, loving his wife and understanding her without words, he immediately goes with her to a restaurant, for example, or to see friends. She is perplexed. My wife has a terrible thought: “He doesn’t want to be with me.” But she got sick and, full of self-loathing, walks around the house in a robe and slippers. The husband is burning with passion at this time. The wife is not ready to comply: she feels bad and is disgusted with herself. My husband has a terrible thought: “He doesn’t want to be with me.” This could be the beginning of sexual disharmony.
4. The fourth stage occurs if the crisis of the third stage has been overcome, the marriage has been preserved and, most importantly, the first child has appeared. The crisis that arises at this stage is even more serious. A third family member appeared and the family structure changed. It has become, on the one hand, more stable, and on the other, the members of this new system have become more distant from each other. A new agreement is needed, as there is a need to redistribute roles, time, money, etc. Who will get up to the child at night? Will the parents stay at home together or take turns visiting, or will the wife be with the child, and the husband will live as a bachelor? If the baby did not bring alienation into the marital relationship, moreover, brought the parents together, this stage has been completed successfully. It may also be that the child brings a sense of routine and monotony to life; it seems to the spouses that youth and celebration are over and endless everyday life has begun, the husband feels abandoned and suspects that his wife is cheating on him with the baby. The wife knows for sure that she is abandoned with a child in her arms, and suddenly realizes that she is married to a frivolous teenager and that the hardships of family life are about to break her back. All these are signs of unsuccessful passage of the fourth stage. This does not necessarily lead to divorce, but usually the law of homeostasis ensures family system complex and elaborate stabilizers. For example, regular infidelities are suitable, which are carelessly hidden so that scandals and subsequent reconciliations create the illusion of intimacy and preserve the family. A chronic illness in one of the spouses or any other forms of personal incapacity are also suitable - alcoholism, inability to professional success and so on.
5. The fifth stage of the family life cycle is characterized by the appearance of a second child. It is quite simple, since there is no need to conclude a new agreement on how to live with children and who is responsible for what, as was the case at the previous stage. Of course, there can be much more than two children, but using a model of two children one can show all the necessary patterns of development of the family system. There is evidence of the relationship between family role and child birth order. For example, often the eldest girl in the family becomes an ersatz mother or nanny for the next children; she is responsible for the younger ones and is often deprived of the opportunity to live own life, but by the way, she doesn’t know how to answer for herself. Middle child is often the most prosperous in the family, free from family scenarios and debts. It is believed that rivalry between children is inevitable. Parents are faced with problems of childhood jealousy and must somehow solve them. At this point there is a connection between times, because it is when solving this problem that parents often project their childhood experience into the present day. Over-control over children's relationships, the constant position of an arbitrator reveals the need for confirmation of one's own importance and, consequently, the experience of humiliation in childhood. With the advent of children, a new subsystem arises in the family system. In the case of a functional family, a marital subsystem and a children's subsystem will be distinguished in its structure. In a dysfunctional family, there may be “wrong” subsystems: coalitions of mother with one child against father with another, or mother with children on one side and father on the other. The boundaries between family subsystems are an important point in the organization of life and mental health members of the system. If the boundaries of the subsystems are very strict (for example, after the child is put to bed, no one approaches him until the morning, no matter what), then psychosomatic diseases can arise in children, since only very strong stimuli (diseases with spectacular manifestations) can cause them cross the border of your subsystem and get closer to your parents. If the boundaries of the subsystems are very permeable, then all members of the system are deprived of the opportunity to live their own life. private life, what is called in English privacy, unity arises, enmeshment, role confusion, “parental” children and infantile parents. It is not clear who makes decisions, who is responsible for whom, and much more.
6. The sixth stage is school years children. At this time, the family comes face to face with the rules and norms of the outside world, which are different from the rules of family life. Here questions are resolved about what is considered success and what is failure, how to become successful, what price a family is willing to pay for external success and conformity social norms and standards. For example, a hypersocializing family does not consider any price too high for success, and the loser, of course, cries and loses family support. A hypersocializing family is a family with very permeable external boundaries. The more permeable the external boundaries, the less permeable the boundaries of family subsystems. Relationships between family members are spontaneous and are regulated mainly by norms, rules, and traditions, which are very difficult to change. A dissident family, that is, a family that stands in opposition to external norms and rules, has closed external boundaries and often very permeable internal boundaries. In such families, a problem of fidelity may arise, and not marital fidelity, but fidelity to family norms and values, a kind of guild or aristocratic brotherhood, violation of the rules of which threatens ostracism.
So, at this stage of the family life cycle, the boundaries of the family system, the exportability of norms, myths, rules and games are tested.
7. The seventh stage of the family life cycle is associated with the time of puberty of children. It begins with puberty in the first child. The child’s leading need at this time is to build his own identity, to answer the question: who am I and where am I going. The answer “I am the child of my parents” is not enough to build an identity. Examples are sought outside the family, among peers and unrelated adults. The family must decide at this time the most important task: prepare the child for separation, for independent life. This is exactly the point where the viability and effectiveness of the functioning of the family system is tested. If the family successfully copes with this task, then it passes between Scylla and Charybdis and emerges into the calm expanse of life's voyage.
Let's take a closer look at this period of family life. Typically, a child's puberty coincides with a parent's midlife crisis. This means that at a time when a child strives to break free from family influence, wants a change in his destiny or at least the course of his life, his parents really need to maintain their usual stability. A midlife crisis occurs when a person understands that certain events and facts of his life are irreversible: a profession has been chosen and certain results have been achieved or not achieved in the professional field, a family has been created, children have been largely raised, it is time to draw preliminary results. It's scary to do this because they can be disappointing. At the same time, it becomes clear that there is not much time left for life, strength is diminishing, admitting oneself as a failure seems fatal and incorrigible. Unsuccessful children are a good excuse: “I didn’t have a significant career because I had very difficult (sick) children and spent a lot of time on them.” To preserve parental self-esteem, it is better for children to be non-viable. As you can see, at this stage of the life cycle, the interests of children and parents are directly opposite.
Very often, the stability of the family system directly depends on whether children continue to live in the parental family. Often, during their time together, children learn to perform certain psychological functions in the family, for example, they become mediators between parents. If children leave the family and, even worse, become independent and successful, that is, they do not need the attention and help of their parents, then parents are faced with the need to communicate directly with each other, face to face. In order to live, it is necessary to solve a lot of problems that accumulated while there were children in the family.
Many scandals were postponed and turned into monuments to themselves, and were not resolved for years sexual problems and much more. If there is no excuse in the form of children, then all these problems will have to be solved, which is painful and unpleasant and, in addition, may lead to divorce. It is much easier to avoid separation or to allow it formally. For example, a child formally lives separately, studies at college somewhere in another city, even got married, but according to the criteria of the parental family, he has not yet gotten back on his feet, has not reached the required level of income, or does not work where the family believes he should would work. His failures are a wonderful stabilizer for the family. They also divert the time and energy of other family members and prevent other family problems from being addressed. If a child nevertheless persistently moves towards success, then there are many ways to force him to turn away from this path. This is the subject of Jay Haley’s book “Leaving Home” (Haley, 1980). Its main thesis is that the maladaptive and eccentric behavior of a young man is of a protective nature. As soon as the parent family is faced with the fact that the child is ready for separation, it becomes unstable and disorganized. Conflicts become more frequent and the well-being of family members worsens. This is a signal for the young man, which tells him that his family is in danger of collapse or, at best, a change in the structure and usual ways of interaction. In order to keep things the same, he develops eccentric and maladaptive behavior. Jay Haley believes that any member of any organization in a similar situation is ready to take on the role of stabilizer with the help of disrupted behavior. In addition to specific behavioral disorders, chronic diseases, sometimes mental, can develop. If we take into account that children normally outlive their parents, then the problem of stabilizing the family, at least as long as the parents are alive, can be solved.
So, this stage of the family life cycle is the most difficult for all family members, the most problematic and painful. Here the family must rebuild its external and internal boundaries, conclude a new agreement between all members, and learn to live in a changed composition.
8. The eighth stage is a repetition of the third stage, only the members of the dyad are at a different age. The children have grown up and live independent lives; the parents are left alone. This stage is often called the “empty nest stage.” It’s good if the family has reached this stage of the life cycle without major losses and people enjoy spending time with each other, maintaining the joy of mutual communication.
9. The ninth stage of the life cycle is the life of the monad, loneliness; the spouse has died, the person lives out his life alone, just as he lived in his youth, without yet creating his own family, only now it is an old man, who has a lived life behind him.
The life cycle of a Russian urban family is significantly different from that of an American family. These differences are primarily due to economic reasons, but are also significant cultural characteristics consciousness of Russian residents. The main difference is that in Russia there were practically no nuclear families living separately: firstly, because the majority of the population does not have the money to buy a separate apartment or build a house; secondly, life big family is not considered heavy or unpleasant. The value of family relationships is very high, and you can address any elderly woman as “granny” - this will be both appropriate and polite. The words “Son, help” or “Daughter, thank you” that we hear from strangers, simply cause an uninvited tear. The famous Stalinist “Brothers and Sisters!”, which replaced the ideology of class struggle, gave rise to an explosion of patriotism during the Great Patriotic War.
Let's consider the life cycle of a Russian family.
1. The first stage of the life cycle is a parental family with adult children. Young people do not have the opportunity to experience independent living. All his life, a young man is an element of his family system, a bearer of its norms and rules, a child of his parents. Usually he does not have a clear idea of what he personally has achieved in his life, and it is difficult for him to develop a sense of personal responsibility for his destiny. He cannot test in practice the rules of life, standards and norms that he received from his parents, and often cannot develop his own rules. Self-made-man, that is, a person who made himself, is a rare phenomenon.
2. At the second stage of the family life cycle, one of the young people meets a future marriage partner, marries and brings him to his parents’ house. This is a significant break in the rules of the parental family. The task is very difficult - to create a small family inside a large one. Young people must agree not only with each other on how they will live together, by what rules (cf. the second and third stages of the nuclear family). They still have to come to an agreement with their parents, or rather, re-negotiate how they will get along with each other. Patriarchal rules offer a variant of such an agreement: a young husband or wife enters a large family as another child - a son or daughter. The parents of the husband or wife are asked to be called “mom” and “dad”. Then the young spouses are not really spouses, but newly found brother and sister. Not every young family is ready for such a relationship scenario. It’s good if the spouses are not ready for this together, it’s much worse when one is not ready for this alone. Then one member of the couple wants to be a husband or wife first, and a son or daughter second, while the other spouse has the opposite priorities. The conflict that arises in this case is known to everyone and often looks like a quarrel between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law or between a son-in-law and his wife’s parents. In fact, it is based on the conflict of role priorities among spouses.
The new subsystem first of all needs separation, the old system, obeying the law of homeostasis, wants to keep everything as it was. Thus, a paradoxical situation is created: marriage seems to exist and at the same time it seems to not exist. The situation is painful for everyone. For example, in one family, the husband's mother kept her things in the closet of the room where the young man lived since he was a child. When he got married, she did not change her habits, and there was nowhere to put a new wardrobe, and there was no money for it. The mother came into the newlyweds’ room at any time to get her things. It is not surprising that the young people were unable to save their marriage. Intrusion into the lives of young spouses is not necessarily accompanied by conflicting, bad relationships in the family. One tender mother was very happy about her son’s marriage and came into the young couple’s room at night, without knocking, of course, “to admire these lovebirds.”
3. Third stage family cycle associated with the birth of a child. it's the same crisis period for the entire system. Again, it is necessary to agree on who does what and who is responsible for what. In families with blurred boundaries of subsystems and unclear organization, family roles are often poorly defined. For example, it is not clear who is the functional grandmother and who is the functional mother, that is, who actually cares for, cares for, and raises the child. Often these roles are confused, and the child is more likely the son or daughter of the grandmother, rather than the mother. Own parents the child is more like an older brother and sister. Mother and father work, and grandmother is retired. She spends a lot of time with the child, and at the same time the relationship between mother and grandmother may not be good at all. This circumstance cannot but affect the child. Often he joins the fight. My colleague M. Harutyunyan told a case from her practice that perfectly illustrates this point.
The family contacted us about the bad behavior of an eleven-year-old girl who was acting aggressively towards her grandmother. The family consisted of three women: a grandmother, a mother and a girl - the identified patient. The grandmother and mother had a difficult conflict relationship. One winter, the girl locked her grandmother on the balcony and did not let her into the room for a long time. After this episode, the family decided to see a psychotherapist. When the mother told how her daughter offended her grandmother, her eyes glowed with triumph. The daughter did something in life that her mother could not afford.
4. At the fourth stage, a second child appears in the family. As in its Western counterpart, this stage is quite mild, since it largely repeats the previous stage and does not introduce anything radically new into the family, except childish jealousy.
5. At the fifth stage, the ancestors begin to actively age and get sick. The family is going through a crisis again. Old people become helpless and dependent on the middle generation. In fact, they occupy the position of small children in the family, encountering, however, more often with annoyance and irritation than with love. Old people make unwanted and unloved children, while throughout the course of their previous lives they were accustomed to being in charge, making decisions for everyone, and being aware of all events. This is the stage of the next revision of the treaty, painful for everyone. In culture, there is a stereotype of the “good daughter (son)”: this is the one who, in his old age, will bring his parents a glass of water. Old people who have no loved ones are worthy of pity, since “there is no one to give them a glass of water.” Reproach bad children: “There is no one to ask for a glass of water.” That is, in public consciousness there is no model of lonely and independent life for old people. It is considered unworthy to allow one's old people to die outside the home, to be placed in a nursing home; during illness, it is considered a special virtue to treat an old person at home and not send them to the hospital.
Often this period in the life of older family members coincides with the period of puberty of children. In such a family it occurs differently than in a nuclear one. Coalitions of old people with teenagers against the middle generation may arise; for example, old people cover late absences and school failures of teenagers.
At the same time, the middle generation has good control over teenagers. Sick old people in the house require care and supervision. This responsibility can easily be transferred to teenagers, tying them to home, depriving them of harmful street company, and slowing down the process of building their identity.
6. The sixth stage repeats the first. The old people have died, and before us is a family with adult children. This is often the minimum possible size of a Russian family.
Many life cycle stages American family are present in the life cycle of a Russian urban family, for example, the stage of courtship, the conclusion of an unspoken (or partly public) marriage contract between two partners, the birth of children, the stages of their psychological development, etc. But they are present in a modified form, in the context of a large three-generation family. The main features of the Russian family are that
· the family, as a rule, is not nuclear, but three generations;
· the material and moral dependence of family members on each other is very great;
· the boundaries of the family system have some features; as a rule, they are not adequate to the requirements of an optimal organization;
· often all of the above leads to the phenomenon of unity, confusion of family roles, unclear division of functions, the need to negotiate all the time and the inability to agree for a long time, substitution, when everyone in the family can functionally be everyone and at the same time no one. For example, in a family where the grandmother is raising a child, she is actually the functional mother to her grandson; husband and wife share a bed, are intimately connected, but may not be connected by a relationship of care and intimacy, because the husband is spiritually and emotionally closer to his mother. He looks out for her interests first. Functionally, this man is the husband of his mother and the lover of his wife. The family lives mainly on the husband’s money, but family budget the same grandmother distributes, so that functionally she is the head of the family;
· individuality and sovereignty are practically absent. The younger generation is much more closely and rigidly connected with the previous generation than in the West; traditionality, continuity and at the same time conflict are expressed very clearly. Each family member is in daily contact with a large number of close people. He is involved in various difficult relationships and simultaneously performs many social roles, which often do not fit well with each other. Social literacy, in a certain sense resourcefulness and at the same time dialogicality, is something that a child learns very early. With such a family organization, the main issue is often the issue of power. It is decided in the context of any communication: dad prohibits, and mom allows the child something; All this is done in front of the child and the message is: “The child listens to me, not you, which means I am more important.”
Thus, any family system strives to go through its life cycle in accordance with the law of systems development. At the same time, each stage of the family life cycle tends to stop forever, never to change, according to the law of homeostasis.
Properties of the family system
The family system can be described according to several parameters. There are six informative parameters:
· features of relationships between family members;
· public and unspoken rules of family life;
· family myths;
· family boundaries;
family system stabilizers;
· family history.
Let's look at the first parameter. Peculiarities of relationships between family members are manifested in communication; Communication here means absolutely any event occurring in the family. Lateness and silence, frank conversations and general fun, shopping and cooking - all this is informative, special, unique communication for this system. Even the seemingly lack of communication, silence, has a powerful informative message. You can stop talking to a person (child, spouse), and it will be clear to everyone that this is an expression of disapproval and dissatisfaction and a desire to ostracize the perpetrator.
Communication can be verbal and non-verbal; most often it happens to be both at once. Impetuous, sharp movements, slamming doors, rattling pots are expressed without words and state of mind person and what they want their family to know about the condition. Perhaps this is a call for help, a complaint or a reproach: “Look what you have brought me to,” etc. If this is accompanied by appropriate text, the picture will become complete and complete. The verbal and non-verbal parts of the message complement each other and are in harmony.
It often happens that these parts of the message are not at all in harmony, in fact, they contradict each other. Such situations occur at every step. For example, flirting. People seem to be talking about serious and quite decent topics, even business ones. At the same time, nonverbally, with their glances, postures, gestures, and interpersonal distance, they are having a completely different “conversation.” The situation is exciting and safe precisely because it is possible to ignore non-verbal text or not pay attention to verbal messages. This incident is harmless. As soon as contradictions between verbal and nonverbal plans enter the family context and become the rule of communication there, serious disturbances in the behavior and well-being of family members, especially children, arise. In his famous work “On the Communication Theory of Schizophrenia,” G. Bateson and his co-authors showed how autism develops in a child in situations where he is systematically confronted with conflicting messages in his family. In a situation of such communication, the child cannot behave adequately, since a reaction to one part of the message automatically leads to the fact that the second part of the message is not taken into account and the child is blamed for this. No matter how he behaves, he is inadequate and cannot adapt to reality, cannot behave correctly. The work gives a striking example: a boy suffering from schizophrenia is in the hospital. Mom comes to visit him. The boy comes out into the hall and sits next to her. Mom moves away. The boy freezes dejectedly and remains silent. Mom asks displeasedly: “Aren’t you glad to see me?” This communication situation has been called the “double trap”: no matter what the child does, he will be reprimanded. It is impossible to adapt to reality - it is better to withdraw into oneself, to become autistic, because a child cannot get out of a communication situation in reality, for example, to arbitrarily change family.
So everything that happens in a family is a message. Illness, for example, is a strong and very informative message that effectively regulates the family situation. Let's say a dad wants his son to be strong, brave, that is, a real man. He believes that a real man is one who takes risks, is independent, etc. Mom doesn’t want her son to risk his health and be independent. She feels better when he is at home, in plain sight. She cannot openly contradict her husband. The boy, of course, also wants freedom. At the same time, he is a little scared to take off on a free flight. How to be? A boy is going to the mountains with a group of youth. Dad is happy and supports his son's intentions. The boy both wants and doesn’t want. Mom is categorically against it. If she openly protests, a scandal is inevitable. Quite by accident, on the eve of her son’s departure, she falls quite seriously ill. The boy is forced to stay. Everyone is happy. Diseases thus become a way - and a worthy way - to solve many problems. This could not happen if they were not means of communication. All games, beautifully described by E. Berne, are some behavioral stereotypes that are forms of communication; they carry certain messages that are not spoken, but are clearly understood by everyone.
The second parameter is the rules of life of the family system. The rules can be set by society and culture, and then they are shared by many families, or they can be unique for each individual family. Everyone knows the cultural rules of family life: for example, everyone knows that parents should not make love in front of their children. The unique rules are known only to family members.
Rules are the family’s decision about how to relax and run the household, how to spend money and who exactly can do this in the family and who cannot, who buys, who washes, who cooks, who praises and who mostly scolds who prohibits and who allows. In a word, this is the distribution of family roles and functions, the distribution of places in the family hierarchy, the decision about what is allowed and what is not, what is good and what is bad.
In a large family consisting of only adults, a late and dearly beloved child is growing up. The most frequently followed rule of this family is: never scold the child for anything, but praise him at every opportunity, admire and be touched silently and out loud, individually and in groups. This behavior, according to the rule of this family, is an expression of love for the child. If someone, a guest or a distant relative, violates this rule, he will not praise, admire, or, worse than that, makes a remark to the child, then he will break an essential rule in the life of this family, put everyone in an awkward position and will not be a welcome guest in the future. The law of homeostasis requires maintaining family rules in permanent form. Changing family rules is a painful process for family members.
“The village of Stepanchikovo and its inhabitants” is wonderful, artistic example what happens when family rules are broken. The rule was very simple: everything in the house should go the way Foma Fomich Opiskin wants. This is the rule for constructing a family hierarchy and arranging statuses. What happened when this simple rule was broken is described in the wonderful story of F. M. Dostoevsky on many, many pages. In fact, in families there are many complex, ornate rules, public (such as: “If you are late, warn us”), unspoken, permeating our lives. A family psychotherapist must be able to quickly calculate some important rules for the functioning of the family system. Of course, all parameters of the family system are interconnected. In particular, the rules are directly related to, and often dictated by, family myth.
So, the third parameter of the family system is a myth. A family myth is a kind of formative idea or image, or story, if you like, that unites all family members. This is knowledge shared by all members of the family system and answers the question: “Who are we?” For example, a common answer is: “We are a close-knit family.” This means that there cannot be open conflicts in this family, especially in front of children. Dirty linen is never washed in public. Relations are not clarified openly, all contradictions are covered up. It is customary to go everywhere together, since the myth requires dissemination in society, a kind of publication. Any behavior of family members towards each other, whatever it may be, is understood as a manifestation of good feelings. “I wish you well”, or “It’s me who loves”, or the classic: “He hits - it means he loves.” Myth sets the norm of feeling. In a “friendly family” it is customary to love, feel sorry and feel gratitude. Other feelings - resentment, anger, disappointment, etc. - are ignored or repressed. Problems begin when someone in the family is unable to ignore their normal and inevitable negative feelings towards relatives. He becomes the identified patient. Anxiety and depressive disorders, aggressive behavior, anorexia are typical problems of a “close-knit family.”
Myth gives rise to rules and rituals. Breaking the rules, especially systematically, can destroy the myth. A myth is a banner under which a family gathers, it is a motto, it is a faith. If someone in the family does not share the family myth, he cannot be a member of this system; the system expels him. The only case, whenever possible, if the family has a rebel myth. Then disagreement with the main myth confirms another myth, and the system remains unchanged.
Another example of a family myth is the myth of the savior: “What would we do without...” There must be a certain person in the family who holds the whole family at arm's length. It is clear that in order to help everyone, it is necessary that they all be slightly disabled, otherwise it will turn out that no one needs a savior. The Savior can be in a moral form, or maybe in a physical one, however, it can be both together. A moral savior needs sinners. His family should consist of people who often do something bad: drink, steal, party, get into bad stories. The Savior helps out, and only in this case can he feel like a savior. Sinners thank, promise to improve and... sin again. The physical savior nurses, heals, feeds, brings food, etc. Therefore, his family consists of sick, helpless, crippled people, otherwise how could he save them?
Let me give one case as an example.
A middle-aged man asked about a difficult relationship with his wife. They were in their first marriage, which was concluded by Great love. After three years of marriage, they had a child, unfortunately, with a severe birth injury. The wife quit her job and devoted herself entirely to the child. My husband devoted himself entirely to earning money. Together they built a family, adored their boy and generally lived together in harmony. The boy grew up, was constantly observed by doctors, did not go to kindergarten or school. At the time of his appeal, he was twelve years old, he did not go to school, and his mother did not work. Some doctors said that the boy could go to school, while others advised leaving him in school. homeschooling, if possible. In a word, mother and son were always together, father worked a lot. As long as dad saved only his son, the situation was bearable. A year before his conversion, the grandmother, the mother of our hero, was widowed.
She was left completely alone, and her son tried to provide her with a calm old age. One winter, my grandmother almost fell on the way to the bakery, after which it was decided that her son would bring her all the food. She stopped leaving the house completely. They lived separately, and my client had to travel quite a distance to visit his mother. It was now impossible to go anywhere for the summer. Telephone contact was carried out twice a day, morning and evening, absolutely strictly. After about six months of living like this, my client began to notice that for some reason he had little strength, and his wife was irritated all the time.
He was a wonderful husband and father, now he has become a selfless son. His wife was also a wonderful mother and homemaker. For the sake of their loved ones, they denied themselves everything, lived to the max and... preserved, and in some ways even gave rise to, the “disabled self-awareness” of the child and grandmother. To be a selfless mother, the child must be dysfunctional. If the child is healthy, you will have to be an ordinary mother, you won’t have to save or sacrifice. In exactly the same way, to be a good son, it is necessary for the mother to be helpless. The more helpless an old person is, the closer he is in his status and way of life to a dead man: no activity - no life. The paradoxical logic of the savior: I am such a good son that I help my mother die.
Another frequently encountered myth is the myth of heroes. “We are a family of heroes.” As a rule, family history contains stories about the heroic deeds of ancestors. There you meet old Bolsheviks, partisans, people who survived famine, were subjected to repression, who raised children in harsh conditions, and so on. In other words, people who have overcome serious obstacles and achieved results.
The myth of heroes sets a certain standard of feeling and worldview. Where there is a hero, everything is on a grand scale: there is no joy - there is happiness, no love - there is unearthly passion, no life - there is fate, no sadness - there is tragedy. This is why in the family of heroes people can quarrel for life, not talk to each other for years, and attempt suicide. In the family of heroes, there are often chronic, untreated diseases - heroes do not go to the doctor, this is so understandable. There are many difficulties and problems in their life. Heroes always have a high standard of achievement, they are principled and unapologetic people.
So, we see that all three parameters of the family system described above are closely interrelated. The family myth dictates the rules, and the rules, in turn, largely determine the characteristics of communication between members of the system with each other.
Family boundaries are the fourth parameter in describing the family system. Each person living in a family has an idea of who else is part of his family. This idea sets the boundaries of the family. People living in the same family may have different ideas about its boundaries. For example, a man married a woman with an adult child; they live together. The man believes that his family consists of two people - himself and his wife. The wife believes that her family consists of three people - herself, her son and her husband. Conflicting ideas about family boundaries can be a source of serious disagreement.
Family boundaries can be very porous or more closed. The permeability of boundaries determines the style of life in the family. Open family full of people, guests arriving without warning, out-of-town relatives. There are no special treats prepared for guests; children are strictly separated from adults; for example, they, as a rule, go to bed on their own, do their homework themselves, and generally live their own lives. This is understandable: adults have no time for them. With more closed family boundaries, guests come only by invitation; there is a special ritual for receiving guests, for example, refreshments, festive dishes, cleaning the day before. In such a family, children are usually less independent, adults are more included in their lives. As you can see, there is a certain pattern: the more closed the external boundaries of the family system, the more open the boundaries of intrafamily subsystems. The placement of the boundaries of family subsystems determines the coalitions that exist in the family.
Functional coalitions are the marital subsystem and the children's subsystem. Other coalition options are usually dysfunctional. Dysfunctional coalitions that indicate the presence of problems in the family are, for example, the subsystem of mother and children, on the one hand, and father, on the other. Or a mom with one child versus a dad with another child. Or a wife with her parents in a coalition against her husband with her parents. There are many examples. Family coalitions indicate structure and hierarchy in the family, as well as a family problem. Coalitions are the central concept of the structural approach in systemic family psychotherapy (Minukhin, Fishman, 1998). Example:
A mother contacted us about her ten-year-old son. The boy refused to go to school and stay alone at home. Mom had to leave work to sit with him. Moreover, after some time the boy moved to spend the night in his parents’ matrimonial bedroom. There has always been a mother-son coalition in the family. Dad was on the periphery of the family system, he worked a lot, sent his wife and son to rest abroad, but he did not go with them - there was not enough money for three. Dad went grocery shopping after work and cooked at home on weekends. His weight and position in the family were very insignificant. The little tyrant - his son - rightly judged that he would easily take his father’s place next to his mother. The required impact in this case is a change in family coalitions and giving the child his rightful place. The father's position must be strengthened, the mother-son coalition must be destroyed. This is necessary because the boy will soon be faced with the task of overcoming an identity crisis, which is very difficult to do without going through separation from his family.
The fifth parameter of the family system is the stabilizer, that is, what holds the system together, what helps people stick together. Generally speaking, all of the above are stabilizers, especially the family myth. In a sense, a family is a group of people who share a common myth. A common myth or common myths is a condition necessary for the existence of a family, but not sufficient. At different periods of a family's life, there are different stabilizers. General affairs: housekeeping, distribution of functions, total budget, common children, fear of loneliness - these are common stabilizers that are naturally present in every family. The external macrosystem is also a good stabilizer, especially in those societies where the value of marriage is generally recognized, where single women or single men are perceived as failures. There, the very fact of divorce is negative, and public opinion is a family stabilizer.
In the practice of working with families, one has to deal with unique stabilizers. For example, often deviations in the behavior and development of a child become a powerful stabilizer of the family system. “We cannot get a divorce because we have a difficult and/or sick child.” I will offer a diagram of how the stabilizer works, using the example of nocturnal enuresis in a child.
In a dysfunctional family, where spouses have difficulty getting along together, a child appears. It is known that a difficult marriage always means difficult sex. In our culture, involuntary night urination is considered normal until about two and a half to three years of age. It so happened that during the first two years of the child’s life, the relationship between the spouses deteriorated; Sexual relationships became especially disharmonious. So, sexual relationships were not easy, but otherwise marriage was valuable for the spouses. A difficult task arose - to maintain good relations, but avoid intimacy. Concern for the child: how is he doing, is he wet, is he not dilated - a good reason to go to the crib and refer to your anxiety as the reason for your unpreparedness for sex. It’s not you who is a bad lover or a bad mistress, but simply an anxious parent’s heart that distracts you. And here it’s time for the child and his age to start asking, but he doesn’t ask, and this is no coincidence.
Parents (or one of them) begin to drop the child off at night, and also clearly react to a wet bed. For a child, such parental behavior is positive feedback, reinforcement of a wet bed, because for him, any, even emotionally negative, attention to him is a significant signal. A wet bed for a child becomes the way to the heart of the parents. Time passes, the child grows. Now bedwetting is classified as enuresis. He occupies a worthy place in the family system.
I remember one family where an eleven-year-old boy suffered from enuresis. The family lived in a three-room apartment. There was a children's room with books, a desk and toys, a living room with a sofa and TV, and a bedroom with a double bed and dressing table. Mother and son were sleeping in the bedroom. Dad was sleeping on the sofa in the living room. The mother explained that it was easier for her to drop the child off at night if he slept nearby. The couple did not maintain an intimate relationship for more than seven years. Their son's enuresis began to be used by them as a worthy way to avoid sexual intimacy with each other without conflicts and painful showdowns and at the same time not destroy the family.
Considering all of the above parameters of the family system, we involuntarily implied a certain history of the formation of the family. In other words, for successful work With a family, it is necessary to know not only the current situation, which is described by the previous parameters, but also how the family got to this position. Family background consists of the past life experiences of family members, from what they experienced in their family of origin and in past marriages or extramarital affairs. From the past, a person brings into his family, firstly, the rules and myths of his parental family, unchanged or in a negative reflection; secondly, expectations and needs that were formed under the influence of past experience. The rules and myths of the parental family are present in the form of habits and rituals, in the form of a feeling of comfort that arises when the usual lifestyle is carried out, of course, in those cases when a person had a good time in the parental family and wants to repeat the pleasant experience. However, it is not even necessary that it be good, since much happens without awareness. For example, sleep patterns. The habit of going to bed early or late depends on the lifestyle in the parental family. If the partner had a different regime, then there may be problems. In any case, this issue will have to be resolved, a compromise will have to be found, or one partner will have to change his usual regime. The same applies to eating habits or habitual ways of sorting things out: in one family they shout during disagreements, in another they stop talking, etc. The more complex the behavior patterns, the more difficult it is to negotiate. For example, sexually attractive appearance and behavior, signs of love and attention, ways of expressing guilt and regret are complex and poorly understood behavioral sequences that are very difficult to change.
In addition to habits and patterns, a person brings expectations and a lot of unfulfilled needs into a marriage. Strictly speaking, a successful marriage is one in which needs and fantasies can be realized. If essential needs cannot be fulfilled in a marriage, then it usually experiences a serious crisis or falls apart. Love is the most selfish feeling. Already at the stage of choosing a partner, the probability of satisfying psychological needs in a relationship with this person is calculated. The only catch is that needs change. There is a natural change of needs; if some needs are satisfied, then others take their place. Let's say, if it is important for a person to be a rescuer and benefactor, if by saving he feels his importance and increases his self-esteem, then he falls in love with a person in a relationship with whom these needs can be realized.
One of my clients always fell in love with unhappy, suffering men, and those who suffered in childhood: one was left by his mother, the other’s mother died when he was little. She tried to be a good mother to them - care and pity “triggered” her sexual behavior. Men also saw her as a mother and, at the beginning of the relationship, gladly took advantage of her pity. However, over time, they satisfied their need to have a good mother and were ready to see in her either an equal partner or even a daughter; She still continued to see children in them. The mismatch of these important psychological needs destroyed the relationship of the spouses. This situation was repeated to the smallest detail twice in my client’s life. Where did this need come from? In this case, it arose because of her peculiar relationship with her mother and, in general, from the mother’s intra-family status in the client’s parental family. There the mother was the emotional center of the family, she was always right, she made decisions, she was a benefactor for both family and strangers. At the same time, it was known in the family that children should know their place, not get in the way, and when they grow up, they will understand. My client learned that adulthood begins with motherhood, at least for a woman. By becoming a mother, a woman gains much meaning in her life, as well as many rights and opportunities. The relationship with his mother was not easy in the future. By the time she got married for the first time, she was a girl with an urgent need to assert herself. It was known how to do this. It was not possible to give birth right away, but it was easier to find a “son” for a husband, which is what happened.
Often one’s own family life is arranged in order to solve the unresolved problems of the family of one’s childhood. The partner for this is located as a sniper. The prince from “Cinderella,” apparently an often humiliated young man, was very eager to prove to his parents that he was already an adult. Realizing his low value in the grooms market (due to his low self-esteem), he chooses a simple girl as his bride, without any risk of being rejected, and gets married, thereby getting a ticket to real adult life. Cinderella marries him primarily in order to leave her stepmother's family. Guessing the opportunity to realize cherished needs in these relationships is what makes young people love each other. Unfortunately, they are trying to realize these needs simply through the act of marriage, which in no way guarantees the longevity of the union.
Often in marriage a person tries to achieve what is required for his normal mental development, but which, however, was not achieved in the parental family. In each family necessary stage- separation of children from parents. Every child must go through the process of separation in order to become an adult, independent, responsible, in order to be able to create his own family. It is known that going through the separation stage is one of the most difficult tasks in family development. Often, unable to find another stabilizer like the children, the family does not allow the children or the child to separate. However, for normal mental development, the child must experience the separation process. If this fails with mom and dad, then it should work with your husband or wife. In these cases, the marriage is concluded for divorce.
In childhood, we all receive certain instructions and recipes on how to live. This is called education. In order to understand the laws of life of the family system, it is necessary to know the instructions that people received “on the path” in their parental families.
Family history can be conveniently and effectively traced using the genogram technique (McGoldrick and Gerson, 1985). This technique allows you to trace the stereotypes of interaction of all branches of the family in three generations, calculate the scenarios and pitfalls of family life. The psychotherapist asks the family about relatives and builds a family tree of the family in three generations. Then it is necessary to find out the peculiarities of the relationship of family members with each other, family legends, stories that are passed down from generation to generation. The psychotherapist asks about the characters of people, the history of their acquaintance, the history of the birth of children, moves and other changes in destinies. From all this, a family history is formed, which the psychotherapist then interprets to the family, showing the connection of the problem with which the family addressed itself with the past of this family. Let me give you an example.
A family with a three-year-old boy came forward. He suffered from fears, did not like to walk, was afraid of the dark, and did not sleep alone in the room. The parents were teachers, that is, they had a fairly free schedule, so they kept the boy at home, did not send him to child care institutions, and took turns caring for him. They contacted us about their son’s fears. During the conversation, it became clear that their marital relationship is also not in the best shape. Trust and mutual understanding disappeared, they were always dissatisfied with each other, instead of conversations, claims and reproaches were expressed. Of course, the child was an indispensable witness to these quarrels. Before the birth of the child, the couple lived together for thirteen years and were happy with their marriage.
It is noteworthy how much effort the family spends to constantly be in parental roles. She, Nina, grew up in a single-parent family. Her grandparents divorced before the war, when they had four children: two boys and the last two girls, twins. The older children died of illness before the divorce. Then one girl from the couple dies, and the grandmother is left with her only daughter. The father dies at the front. My daughter grew up and fell in love with married man. From this novel a girl, Nina, was born. The marriage did not work out, but the daughter remained. When analyzing her genogram, Nina said that it now seems to her that her mother gave birth to her for her grandmother, in order to soften the pain of losing her children. Perhaps my mother herself wanted to recreate her sister for herself. One way or another, the grandmother took care of the girl and the house; she was a functional mother to her granddaughter, and the mother worked. In her family, Nina received an order: “You don’t have to be married, but you need to have a child.” In addition, she grew up in a situation of confusion and replacement of family roles. She herself took the place of a daughter for her grandmother and a sister for her mother. She did not have a model of married life and did not know how to be a wife, since she did not see how this was done in her family.
He, Petya, on the contrary, grew up in a complete, traditional, patriarchal family in an ancient Russian town. He is the youngest child, he also has an older sister. Dad earned money, fixed everything and carried heavy loads. Mom washed, cleaned and cooked, and besides, she grumbled at her husband. The family lived without grandparents, Petya was quite spoiled. He had clear models of maternal and paternal behavior, and had a good understanding of what it meant to be a husband and what a wife should do. Petya grew up and went to university in Moscow. By this time Nina had already studied at the university for three years, but in a different department. Petya missed his family and felt quite lonely in the hostel. They met by chance, the four-year age difference did not bother them, and after a short romance they got married. The couple lived in marriage for thirteen years, did not have children, and focused on their careers. During this time, they defended their Ph.D. theses, received Moscow registration and exchanged their room in a communal apartment for a small two-room apartment. They were happy with each other. What needs did they satisfy in this marriage?
Nina got married and got a son instead of a husband. She thus fulfilled her instructions. She is older and more decisive, she arranged Petya’s career and her own at the same time, she made decisions, and, according to Petya, “was the spiritual leader in the family.” Petya asserted himself in this marriage. In his parental family, he was the youngest, on the one hand, beloved, and on the other, he had to obey everyone who was older, including his sister. His character is domineering and proud. In relation to his parents, he remained a respectful son, but he was picky and demanding of his wife.
So, the roles in this family were distributed not by chance, but successfully. The problems began when the long-awaited child was born. Nina became a mother to her biological son and stopped being a mother to her husband Petya. Petya at the same time became a father to his son and was ready to finally become a husband to his wife, but she was not ready for this, she did not have a model of a wife’s behavior. When they took care of their son and exercised parental functions, the relationship remained conflict-free. As soon as the spouses were left alone, a feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness arose, and mutual claims and reproaches began.
Methodological principles of systemic family psychotherapy
The most well-known and widely used heuristics are circularity, neutrality, and hypotheticality (Palazzoli et al., 1980).
· Circularity. This principle states: everything that happens in the family is subject not to linear, but to circular logic. Let us consider the process of transition from considering a case in linear logic to considering a case in circular logic.
A mother complains that her nine-year-old son is not doing well at school. In linear logic, the cause of a child's disorder is seen in the child. The child does not study well because he has developmental disorders of higher mental functions, and he simply cannot cope with school requirements due to impairments in memory, attention, thinking, etc. Or the child does not study well because he has school neurosis. Perhaps both.
Psychological diagnostics make it possible to test both linear hypotheses. Notice that linear logic is guided by the question “why” and assumes the answer “because”. In very many cases we see that academic failure is not related to or is not entirely explained by the above possible reasons. Let's take the first step towards circular causation. After questioning those who contacted us, we find out that the mother does her homework with her child all the time. Consequently, the child did not develop independent work skills that he could use when working in class. It is a rare mother who does not understand this, but nevertheless spends hours doing homework with her child. At this stage, the question “why” is meaningless. It makes more sense to ask yourself the question: “Why?” Why does a mother make her child helpless in class? Why does she need to spend so much time studying? Because at this time she feels needed and needed. Why does mom need to feel this? Because mom and dad don’t have a very good relationship, mom often feels unnecessary to her husband, she has an emotional vacuum, and she fills it in communication with her son. If everything is fine with the son, the intensity of scandals between mom and dad will increase simply due to the fact that mom will have more time to think about the problems of her family. Scandals are a threat to family stability. Nobody wants them.
So the circle is complete. The worse a boy does at school, the more time mom and son spend together in homework, the less mom and dad sort things out, the more stable the family. It is clear that only a psychologist sees this circular dependence at the beginning of therapy. Gradually, with the help of a specially developed circular interview method, everyone begins to see this dependence. As soon as this has happened, changes become possible in the family, the family becomes available for psychotherapeutic influence. If the psychologist remains in linear logic, then either he can improve the child’s schooling for a short time, or the child will develop another behavior disorder that will stabilize the family system instead of academic failure. In the worst case scenario, the child's success will lead to the breakup of the family. These processes have been described repeatedly and in detail by authors such as Jay Haley and Clu Madaness (Haley, 1980, Madaness, 1984).
In my experience of many years of teaching systemic family therapy, the most difficult thing is to teach how to use circular logic, see the circular causality of events, and note the circular interactions of family members with each other. As soon as circular logic arises in the psychotherapist’s head, choosing a method of influencing the family system becomes a simple technical task.
· Neutrality. The principle of neutrality states that effective psychotherapy requires the therapist to maintain a neutral position. He sympathizes equally with all family members, does not internally join anyone and provides for all family members equal opportunities speak and be heard and understood.
This principle is not easy to follow. The most common variant of its violation is that female psychotherapists fall into the position of supermother. In a dysfunctional family, everyone suffers, but the suffering of children is seen vividly, especially in our child-centered culture. It seems that negligent parents are unfairly hurting their children. The psychotherapist takes a position of protecting the small and defenseless, thereby informing the parents or mother of these children: “I would be a better mother to these children than you.” This message is very easy to read, and the mother naturally becomes defensive and resists. This resistance, provoked by the therapist's behavior, often nullifies all his efforts. The family interrupts therapy.
· Hypothetical. The main purpose of the therapist's communication with the family is to test the hypothesis about the purpose and meaning of family dysfunction. As noted above, the main questions that a family psychotherapist asks himself are: why is what is happening in the family? How is the observed dysfunction exploited by the system?
The therapist's primary hypothesis determines his conversation strategy with the family. In cases where the therapist does not formulate a primary hypothesis, his conversation with the family is chaotic; Often the most motivated family member takes the initiative in conducting the conversation. It should be remembered that it is not easy to have a conversation with the whole family at the same time. A conversation in individual therapy (dialogue) is not the same as a conversation with the whole family (polylogist). It is also not a model to work with a group, since when working with families we cannot rely on ordinary group dynamics. The only opportunity to build effective communication with such a diverse age formal group, which is the family, is a reliance on a certain meta-goal provided by the primary hypothesis.
Practice of psychological assistance to families
Reception design. Organization of the work of a family psychotherapist
Systemic family psychotherapy is carried out with the entire family at once. All family members living together are invited to the reception, regardless of age: both the elderly and infants. This is especially important at the beginning of work, as it makes it possible to directly see the nonverbal aspects of people’s relationships, family coalitions, communication stereotypes, and family rules.
A family came to the reception: grandmother (maternal), mother, father and a three-month-old child. There were complaints about frequent conflicts between young spouses. In the office, the family sat down as follows: grandmother and mother next to each other, grandmother holding the baby in her arms, father sitting at some distance from this group. When the child began to whine, dad would tell his wife in a stern voice: “Look what’s wrong with him.” The wife made some movement towards the child, the grandmother said calmly and measuredly into space: “It’s okay, everything is fine with us.” It is clear that the hypothesis about possible disturbances in the functioning of this family system is born very quickly: the grandmother is the functional mother of the baby. His biological mother is a functional sister; there has been no separation between mother and daughter; there is a struggle for power and influence in the family between the husband and grandmother. Structurally, the family is divided as follows: coalition grandmother–mother–child and sometimes a coalition mother, father. Mom is between two fires, she is put in a situation of choice between her husband and her mother.
It is very important to give the family the opportunity to choose the layout of the space. Therefore, in the office of a family therapist there should always be more chairs and armchairs than there are family members. Mutual arrangement is a quick and reliable way to diagnose family structure (Minukhin, Fishman, 1998).
Preliminary arrangements for the family to come must be made by the psychotherapist himself or a member of his team. The content of the preliminary conversation allows you to formulate a system hypothesis even before the start direct work with a family.
Questions that need to be asked during a telephone conversation: 1) what is the caller complaining about (in short, only the main thing - a marital problem or a child-parent problem)? 2) who is the initiator of the appeal? 3) what is the composition of the family? 4) how old are the children and other family members?
Analysis of the answers to these questions allows us to draw up a preliminary system hypothesis. During a face-to-face meeting with the family, the psychotherapist checks the correctness of this preliminary hypothesis.
The methodological principles of systemic family psychotherapy deny simple, direct communication between the psychotherapist and the family. One of the goals of psychotherapeutic communication is to test a systemic hypothesis. It must be said that all the methodological principles of this approach are designed to protect the psychotherapist from the influence of the clients’ family system on him. Each open family system strives to absorb, “suck into itself” every element that finds itself in its “orbit”. It is clear that only open family systems are accepted. Consequently, the clients' family system tends to absorb the therapist. Eventally, this manifests itself in the fact that the family seeks to extend its rules to communication with the therapist, form coalitions with him, gain recognition of his myth, etc. That is, a process occurs that is called family transfer. If the therapist falls under this influence, and it is almost impossible for a novice family therapist not to consciously fall under it, since usually people are not aware of systemic influences, then he begins to freely project his problems, his experience of family life onto the family and immediately loses effectiveness. The methodological principles of the systems approach protect the therapist from the influence of the family system.
One psychotherapist can work with a family, but a psychotherapeutic team can also work, that is, a person who directly talks with the family and two or three supervisors who observe the process from behind Gesell's mirror. In the classic Milanese model, a team works with the family; supervisors can intervene at any time in the conversation with the family, give instructions to the interviewer what to ask, from whom, how to position himself in the space, depending on the characteristics of the emerging contact with different family members. Teamwork problems are the most popular topic of all recent international conferences on family psychotherapy.
Techniques for working with families
Circular interview. This is a basic and widely used technique (see Tomm, 1981; Hennig, 1990).
The psychotherapist asks family members in turn questions formulated in a special way or the same question. In order for this technique to “work” not only for the therapist, that is, to be not only a diagnostic tool, but also an instrument of psychological, psychotherapeutic influence, you need to master it masterfully. Typically, learning to do this requires at least one hundred hours of practice under the supervision of a supervisor.
A mother came in with a complaint that her eleven-year-old son did not go home after school, but spent his time somewhere, mainly on Arbat, and sometimes did not even come to spend the night. The family consists of three people - mother, father and son.
I omit the beginning of the conversation and give an example of the actual circular questions.
Psychologist (question to son): Who usually meets you at home when you finally return?
Son: Usually mom.
Psychologist: How does your mother greet you, what does she do?
Son: She gets angry, yells at me, sometimes cries.
Psychologist (question to mom): Your son returned late, you are angry and crying. What is your husband doing at this time?
Mom: He calms me down and scolds my son.
Psychologist (question to dad): What does your son do when you scold him?
Dad: He slams the door of his room, leaves, gets offended.
Psychologist (question to son): When you sit in your room, what do your parents do?
Son: They are sitting in the kitchen, talking, drinking tea. Dad consoles mom.
Psychologist (to his son): Before, before you started disappearing from home, in what cases did your parents sit in the kitchen together, drink tea, talk?
Son: I don’t know something... Dad isn’t home much. I do not remember.
The last question is asked to both mom and dad. From the answers it becomes clear that such conversations in the kitchen were extremely rare. The couple often quarreled.
This simple example shows how, with the help of circular questions, the function of a child's behavior disorder becomes clear. The departure of their son unites the parents and stabilizes the system. Children often sacrifice themselves for family stability. Please note that the above circular questions did not go beyond behavioral responses. The psychologist did not ask about thoughts or feelings. If this layer of psychic reality is also involved in circular questions, they become even more complex.
Young spouses came in complaining of frequent quarrels. Quarrels arose for various reasons, but most often due to the fact that the wife stayed at work for a long time and came home late.
Psychologist (to husband): How do you explain to yourself why your wife is late at work?
Husband: She just doesn’t want to go home, she doesn’t want to see me.
Psychologist (to husband): When this thought comes to your mind, how do you feel?
Husband: Well, it’s unpleasant...
Psychologist: Are you lonely, hurt, angry?
Husband: Here, here.
Psychologist: When you are angry and offended, how do you usually behave?
Husband: I don’t do anything, I don’t make a scandal, I just remain silent and that’s all.
Wife: For weeks now.
Psychologist (to wife): When your husband doesn’t talk to you, how do you explain this to yourself?
Wife: That he doesn’t want to communicate with me.
Psychologist: How do you feel then?
Wife: Offense. Undeserved, unfair. Then I don’t like making excuses, I don’t do anything wrong. Yes, resentment and some kind of hopelessness.
Psychologist: When you feel all this, what do you do?
Wife: I’m sitting at work. What should I do at home?
As you can see, the circle has closed. Each spouse, through his or her behavior, positively reinforces the behavior of his partner that he does not like. Questions about thoughts and feelings help spouses understand the mechanism by which this “snowball” forms.
It will be useful for a novice systemic family psychotherapist to memorize a list of topics that need to be addressed in a conversation with the family using circular questions:
· What expectations did the family come with? Questions are asked about who referred them for consultation and who they contacted before.
· How does the family see its current problem? (For example, a child cannot cope with school requirements.)
· What is the current situation in the family?
· How did the family cope with difficulties and problems in the past? What were the solutions?
How does the family interact about current problem? It is necessary to clarify the circles of interaction at the level of behavior, at the level of thoughts and feelings.
· What system does the family have for understanding the problem and the causes of its occurrence?
· What are the key trigger situations? (For example, there will definitely be a scandal between everyone and everyone if a child gets a bad grade.)
· What is the worst way for the situation to develop? How can the problem be made worse?
· What are the positive aspects of the problem? (See the example of the boy who left home.)
· Questions about psychological resources everyone.
· Questions about how each person imagines the future with and without the problem.
· What would family life be like without a problem, without a symptom?
Of course, this entire range of topics cannot be covered in one session. Usually it can be completed in two or three meetings. After this, the system hypothesis becomes reliable. The specific formulation of questions in a circular form is determined by individual skill and creative potential psychotherapist, his ability to build contact with the family.
Positive connotation technique (positive reformulation). This is a technique for providing feedback to the family after the therapist has established his circular hypothesis for the current moment of working with the family problem. The therapist (or team) talks to the family about how he/she perceived and understood the content of the family dysfunction. A story follows certain rules (Palazzoli et al., 1978; Madanes, 1984; Haley, 1998).
1. It is recommended to relieve the family’s anxiety about what is happening. The technique of normalization is suitable for this: the content of family dysfunction is considered in a broader sociocultural, age, and statistical aspect. In the case of dysfunction associated with a particular stage of the family life cycle, it is useful to inform clients about the pattern of occurrence and pervasiveness. This message relieves family members of the feeling of guilt and the “charm” of uniqueness. If the dysfunction is related to migrations, it is good to refer to the phenomena of culture shock. Normalization in a systems approach serves the same function as communicating a diagnosis in medicine; it gives people the certainty and hope that professionals have already dealt with similar problems and know how to approach them.
2. Focus on the positive side of dysfunction. Any dysfunction that exists in a family has a positive side. The mechanisms for stabilizing the family system through child behavior disorders were described above. In this sense, any family dysfunction “works” as a stabilizer. You can positively reformulate not only the current symptom, but also any past events. The teenager is being raised by his aunt because his drug-addicted mother gave him to her sister at an early age. He is offended by his mother and believes that she abandoned him. Positive reformulation of this episode: “Your mother understood that she herself could not raise you well, keep you healthy, provide you with housing, because she suffers from drug addiction. She herself put you in good hands and did not tear you away from your family. She did the best she could for you. She loved you and loves you now.”
3. Inclusion of a contradiction or paradox in the feedback text. This is necessary so that the psychotherapist's paradox can neutralize the paradox of the real family situation. Previously, typical paradoxes were cited that are easily revealed by circular logic: the mother wants the child to study well, and does everything to deprive him of the skills of independent work. Spouses want to improve their marriage and do everything to avoid falling into marital roles, to remain only parents, and not to get closer. The counter-paradox in the latter case would be: “You value your marriage and relationships with each other so much that you try not to communicate so as not to inadvertently spoil what you have.”
Let us turn to the case where the child is a poor student, the mother spends all her free time preparing homework with him, and the father is rarely at home. The feedback pattern is: “You are all behaving normally for your abnormal circumstances. Mom and dad often quarrel. To avoid quarreling once again, they try not to communicate, dad practically deprived himself of the opportunity to have his own home. A devoted son does not allow himself to study well, despite the fact that he has all the data for normal studies, so that his mother is constantly busy with his problems and does not have free time to think about her relationship with his father. Mom has no personal time, spends all her energy on her son, has almost turned into a home teacher, has forgotten how to be just a mother and wife in order to maintain peace in the house. Your love and care for each other is very impressive.”
Any symptom in the family system can be positively reformulated because it ensures the homeostasis of the system and in this sense has a positive meaning for the family.
Prescription. The last technique described here is prescribing certain behaviors to family members. The therapist asks family members to perform certain tasks, mostly specific actions. Prescriptions can be direct or paradoxical (Madanes, 1981, 1984; Palazzoli et al., 1978).
Often paradoxical instructions are almost impossible to fulfill. In these cases, the purpose of the order is to allow the family to reflect and discuss with the therapist at the appointment why the order is not feasible for the family.
A family in which family roles are confused and the boundaries of subsystems are violated is recommended to live for a week like this: no one has their own sleeping place; Every evening the children go to bed where they want, and the parents go where they find a place for themselves. This injunction brings the chaotic, unstructured habits of this family to the point of absurdity and causes protest among family members. At the next meeting, people’s feelings are discussed and more constructive options for organizing life, distributing responsibilities, etc. are proposed.
Direct instructions, as a rule, do not cause protest; at first glance, they are simple to implement. For example, in a family in which there has been no distribution of roles and functions, in which the main theme is the struggle for power and control, it is effective to offer a prescription of actions in time: on Monday, Wednesday and Friday the husband decides everything, the wife and children obey, on Tuesday, Thursday and on Saturday everything is decided by the wife, on Sunday it is suggested to argue and swear as usual. Experience with a new ritual and discussion of this experience provide a therapeutic effect.
Scheme of the initial appointment
1. Telephone conversation and construction of a primary circular hypothesis.
2. Conducting a circular interview in person. Testing the primary hypothesis. Proposing the next hypothesis if the primary hypothesis is not confirmed.
3a. If a therapeutic team is working with the family, the results of the interview with the team are discussed and strategies and tactics of influence are developed. If the therapist works alone, he immediately moves on to the next stage. The psychotherapist develops the strategy and tactics of influence himself and immediately.
3b. The therapist provides feedback to the family regarding his or her understanding of the family problem. (Positive connotation technique.)
4. Offering a course of family psychotherapy. Discuss with the family the frequency and duration of their future visits. Discussion of payment for therapy. In fact, this is the conclusion of a psychotherapeutic contract, as a result of which both clients and the psychotherapist (psychotherapeutic team) have a clear understanding of the purpose of psychotherapy, how responsibility is distributed, and what the result of therapy may be.
An example of a psychotherapeutic contract.
A dad came in with a complaint that his twelve-year-old daughter behaves like a boy and wants to be a boy, asks to call her male name at home and at school. Request: “Help make sure a girl remains a girl.” During the initial consultation, it became clear that the girl’s desire to become a boy was just one of many violations of her behavior. The girl's neatness skills were impaired; she had difficulty finding contact with parents, teachers, and children. IN early childhood no grasping was noted, it was always uncomfortable to hold her in your arms - she did not cuddle, she seemed distant. The whole family had signs of impaired intra-family communication: there was practically no family time, everyone existed on their own, not together, but side by side. Family communications are riddled with double traps. This was a classic so-called “schizophrenogenic family”, described by many authors (see Palazzoli et al., 1980). During the conclusion of a psychotherapeutic contract, the psychologist drew the family’s attention to the above circumstances: “I do not undertake to make Katya stop wanting to be Kolya. It seems to me that this is one small fragment of the overall picture of the characteristics of your family communication. I could work with you on your family interaction style. If all the warm feelings you have for each other, all the tensions and grievances were easily and safely expressed, it would be easier for you all to understand each other. As your communication improves, Katya may see the benefits female role. It will be easier for her to find mutual language At school. Against this background, it will be more effective to work with Katya’s specific difficulties if they remain. I believe that to solve this problem we will need at least four months of work to begin with.”
Thus, the request “Help our child” was reformulated as help for the whole family. When the parents and Katya agreed to follow the proposed path, they discussed the frequency of visits, the time and day of arrival, and the amount of payment.
5. Prescription. This is the last stage of the initial intake, when the family is offered a direct or paradoxical prescription of a behavioral ritual that they must perform during the time until the next psychotherapy session. Often an order is given to a family in in writing to eliminate the “damaged phone” effect.
At subsequent meetings, using the above-described techniques for working with families, events that took place between meetings, features of the implementation of instructions, past circumstances, childhood memories of adult family members, rules, myths, family history, communication stereotypes and much more are discussed.
When and how to end work with family
This is one of the most difficult issues of any psychotherapeutic approach, not only systemic family psychotherapy. IN general view the answer is: the family system must become functional. This means that the family becomes able to solve life's problems. For example, a family consisting of three generations of single female alcoholics became functional when the women stopped drinking, began to regularly attend Alcoholics Anonymous classes, the youngest, a student, returned to university, and the older women began to work. The disappearance of a symptom, the emergence of an internal feeling of satisfaction, the joy of life are not necessary signs of a therapeutic effect in this approach. A necessary and sufficient sign is external behavioral changes.
The family, which complained about the father’s depression, became functional after the father, despite his condition, returned to work, the wife, who had recently been caring only for her husband, began to devote time to her daughter. Complaints of depression remained, but depression was no longer used by the system. Depression became a personal matter of the father, and not a sign of general trouble; the dynamics of his condition were no longer directly determined by family circumstances, the behavior of his wife and daughter. Against this background, drug treatment had a quick effect, and for two years the depression did not return, although previously, despite massive treatment, the family learned that autumn or spring had arrived based on the father’s condition.
Literature:
- Minukhin S., Fishman Ch. (1998) Family therapy techniques. - M.: Independent company “Class”.
- Papp P (1998) Family therapy and its paradoxes. - M.: Independent company “Class”.
- Haley J (1998) Challenge therapy. - M.: Independent company “Class”.
- Chernikov A.V. (1997) Integrative model of systemic family psychotherapeutic diagnostics. Thematic supplement to the magazine “ Family psychology and family therapy.” - M.
- Sherman R. Fredman N. (1997) Structured techniques for family and couples therapy. - M.: Independent company “Class”.
- Bateson G. et al. (1969) Toward the communicative theory of Schizophrenia // A. H. Buss, E. H. Buss (Eds.). Theories of Schizophrenia. - N.Y.
- Carter E., McGoldrick M. (1980) The Family Life Cycle. - N.Y.: Gardner Press.
- Erickson G. D., Hogan, T. P. (Eds.) (1972) Family Therapy. An introduction to Theory and Technique. - California: Brooks/Cole Publishing Company.
- Haley J. (1980) Leaving Home. - N.Y.: McGraw Hill.
- Hennig K. (1990) Das Systemische Interview mit Einzelnen und Familien als Diagnostisches Instrument. - Oberschulamt, Tübingen.
- Horne A., Ohlsen M. M. (Eds.) (1982) Family counseling and therapy. Handbook. - Illinois: F. C. Peacock Publishers.
- Madanes C. (1981) Strategic Family Therapy. - San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
- Madanes C. (1984) Behind the one way mirror. - San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
- McGoldrick M., Gerson, R. (1985) Genograms in Family Assessment. - N. Y.: W. W. Norton & Company.
- Palazzoli S. et al. (1980) Hypothesising - Circularity - Neutrality: three guidelines for the conductor of the session // Family Process. 19(1), 3–12.
- Palazzoli S. M., Boscolo L., Cecchin G., Pratta G. (1978) Paradox and counterparadox. - N.Y.: Jason Aranson.
- Spiegel J. P., Bell N. W. (1959) The family of the psychiatric patient // S. Apieti (ed.) American Handbook of Psychiatry. - N.Y.: Basic Books.
- Tomm K. (1981) Circularity: A Preferred Orientations for Family Assessment. // A. Gurman (ed.). Questions and Answers in the practice of Family Therapy. - N.Y.
Family therapy Etymology.
Comes from the Greek. therapy - treatment.
Category.A form of communication psychotherapy.
Specificity.Aimed at harmonizing family relationships. Among the researchers who made the most significant contribution to the development of this approach, the most famous are the following: V. Satir, K. Whitaker, S. Minukhin, M. S. Palazolli, D. Haley, M. Bowen, K. Madanes, L. Hoffman.
Psychological Dictionary. THEM. Kondakov. 2000.
FAMILY THERAPY
(or) (English) family therapy) - modification of relationships between family members as a system using psychotherapeutic and psychocorrective methods and with the aim of overcoming negative psychological symptoms and increasing the functionality of the family system. In S. t. psychological symptoms and problems are seen as the result of suboptimal, dysfunctional interactions among family members, and not as attributes of a person. family member (“identifiable patient”). As a rule, S. t. implements not an intra-, but an interpersonal approach to solving problems;
is to change the family system as a whole through appropriate interventions. Modern social theory is represented by many middle-level theories, including G. Bateson’s theory of communications, S. Menuhin’s structural theory, J. Framo’s theory of object connections, and humanistic theory..TO Rogers and V. Satir, systemic S. t. M. Palazoli, J. F. Chekin, G. Prata and L. Boscolo, positive S. t. N. Pezeshkian, family ontotherapy
A. Meneghetti and others. Within the framework of these theories, a wide range of original concepts has been created (“closed pathology”, “mixing”, “pseudo-commonality”, “double bond”, “double message”, “metacommunication”, etc.) and methods (“connection”, “circular interview”, “psychological sculpture of the family”, “positive definition of symptoms”, etc.). Let us consider the main theoretical orientations in the field of social technology. Family behavioral therapy. The essence of this approach is the idea of interdependence behavior individuals: in any interaction, each of its participants strives to maximize “rewards” and minimize “costs.” Rewards are defined as the pleasures received, and costs are defined as the expenditure of time and effort. Marital discord has been described as a function of low rates of positive mutual reinforcement. A comparison of high-conflict and non-conflict married couples reveals more reinforcements and higher levels of punishment in conflicting families. The main strategy of S. t. is an increase in the interaction of positive, rewarding behavior and a decrease in negative, punishing behavior. The object of correction is the communicative behavior of spouses and parents. Changes in behavioral patterns of interaction in dysfunctional families are suggested by the following. areas of correctional and educational work: 1) training in the direct expression of expectations, desires, and dissatisfactions; 2) training in specific and operational expression of desires and intentions; 3) learning to communicate in a positive, reinforcing, constructive manner, both verbally and nonverbally; 4) training to enhance feelings of reciprocity and adequate communicative feedback; 5) training spouses in concluding various contracts on a mutual and unilateral basis; 6) learning to achieve compromise and consensus in the family. These correction directions may be implemented both in the context of individual counseling and in group work situations. The model of behavioral S. t. is described as follows. stages: ; alternative ways to achieve the goal; program step-by-step movement to the goal; practical implementation of this program. Role-playing games, video training, and various kinds of homework are widely used to transfer acquired skills to real situations in the family.
The main drawback of the approach is that it ignores existential problems that cannot be reduced to purely behavioral difficulties. Since the problems faced by the therapist are multidimensional (they manifest themselves in behavior, in the cognitive and emotional spheres), behavioral S. t. tends to enrich its arsenal with methods cognitive psychology.
Psychoanalytic S. t. It is still the most common theoretical approach in S. t., its ideas are popular among psychiatrists and social workers. However, among psychoanalysts themselves there is no consensus on whether a psychoanalyst should be considered a family psychotherapist. This circumstance is explained by the fact that classical psychoanalysis is focused on the study and treatment individual. The orthodox psychoanalytic position on this issue can be characterized by the following. way: family disorders are symptoms reflecting individual psychopathology; people who turn to a psychotherapist about family problems have deeply personal (intrapersonal) conflicts. Therefore, psychoanalysis acts as an individual treatment of the patient, excluding direct influence on his intrafamily relationships.
And in a number of neo-psychoanalytic approaches (e.g., ego psychology, theory object relations etc.) problems of marital relations are also defined as manifestations of intrapersonal conflicts in the context of interpersonal relationships. Internal conflict seen as the result of events that occurred in early childhood. The following are common to theories with a psychoanalytic orientation (psychodynamic approach, object relations theory, etc.). provisions: the cause of family conflicts is early negative life experience; the determinants of ineffective methods are in the unconscious; Therapy should be aimed at making family members aware of the experiences repressed into the unconscious that determine their behavior and are responsible for the emergence of conflicts. In neo-psychoanalytic approaches significant role Interpersonal relationships play a role in the causes of family conflicts. Techniques aimed at working with the whole family are beginning to be used. The therapist takes more active position, not only interpreting unconscious experiences family members, but also by directive intervention in family interactions.
Milan systematic approach to S. t. Formed in the 1970s. based on psychoanalysis, general systems theory, and the work of the Palo Alto school. Main provisions: - self-regulating and constantly developing system; any human action is a form of communication; behavior is organized into patterns of interactions that are circular in nature; nonverbal aspects of communication are more important than its content; family members are elements of a unified system of interactions, the behavior of any of them influences the behavior of all others, but is not the cause of this behavior; the main regulator of interactions is family rules; The therapist, in his work with the family, maintains a neutral position, is non-directive and addresses behavioral patterns, and not family members as individuals. His task is to free the family from pathogenic patterns of interaction, to give it the opportunity to develop without experiencing symptoms. In this sense, there is no fixed normative image of the family. The adaptive capabilities of a family are related to its ability to change. Pathological families are characterized by the so-called. “family games” (the desire of each family member to define the relationship with another in his own terms, while denying that he is doing so), which are based on the erroneous belief that there is the possibility of unilateral control over interpersonal relationships. In fact, the main rule of the game is that no one can ever win, since the system of circular relationships cannot be controlled. Psychotic behavior is a logical consequence of family play. Thus, any mental disorders are considered as violations social interactions. Therapeutic work consists of separate sessions: pre-session (discussion of preliminary information about the family by a team of psychotherapists, development of an initial hypothesis about the functioning of the family); interview (obtaining basic information about the family, testing the initial hypothesis); break in the reception (team discussion of the progress of work, development of a system hypothesis); intervention (the therapist presenting a positive statement, or a paradoxical prescription, or ritualized behavior to the family); post-reception (team discussion of the family’s reaction to the intervention, formulation of general results of the reception). Teamwork (constant supervision) is the cornerstone of systemic therapy. The principles of therapy such as putting forward hypotheses, cyclicality, and neutrality in working with families are implemented here.
The last principle is especially important, since it is traditionally believed that a pathological family must change (change itself). In fact, this erroneous view. blocks the possibility of genuine change, which occurs only when the family is given real freedom (including the freedom not to change). The goal of systemic S. t. is to help the family as a system free its members from symptoms, interdependencies and defenses. Only by freeing oneself from the system of pathological communications can a person solve his problems and gain true individuality.
“dialogue” in the appendix to S. t. The fundamental concept of this approach is the concept of dialogue ( M.M.Bakhtin). Dialogue is a characteristic and basic condition for development consciousness And self-awareness a person - the polyphony of personal manifestos and self-definitions of the people around him. Every behavior is a replica in a global dialogue. Any communication is dialogical. The degree of dialogicity is determined by overcoming various forms of resistance and defense characteristic of monological (closed, role-playing, conventional, manipulative) behavior. A counseling situation is a type of dialogue in which the therapist’s activity is determined by his position of aesthetic outside-ness: the client’s inner world acts as a displayed and understood object, but not as a field of activity and an object of analysis; therapist turns to various aspects inner world client. Understanding presupposes communication with the client as with a free person with dialogic intention, and presupposes the client’s reciprocal activity. The client’s difficulties in entering into dialogue pose the task of provoking the client’s dialogical intention. General solution in this case is the “principle of silence”: the lack of significant reactions of the therapist in dialogue with the client. The therapist's dialogical position is implemented as follows. forms: postulate of responsibility (the idea of human freedom and responsibility for what is happening and for one’s own condition); orientation to meaning (setting before the client a task on the meaning of counseling with subsequent rethinking by him life situations and tasks); fundamental openness (the opportunity for the client to contact the consultant again at any time, switch to other methods or to other specialists); admissibility of advice (as a means of establishing contact with the client, updating certain contents in his mind, indicating ignored aspects own problems).
Orthodox tradition in the construction of S. t. God is the source of human spiritual energy. The image of God in a person is the core and essence of personality, it is fundamentally indestructible and inexhaustible, an internal approach to it makes the person himself more and more unique. The basis of any marriage, which is built on the right (spiritual) foundations, is a meeting (acquaintance as a revelation and). In the family, there are ways and mechanisms for constantly renewing the experience of meeting (individual and church-wide prayer, participation in the liturgical life of the Church), which are simultaneously a source of spiritual energy and renewal of interpersonal relationships in the family. These relationships are seen as archetypal and hierarchical (lacking the fullness of revelation, but full of love). The family is rooted in the clan. The main materializing principle of the family is the house as a bodily-mental-spiritual space. A home is built and maintained by the constant intercession of at least one family member before God. Various attributes of a house (from the roof to the basement) have special meanings and loads in the Orthodox tradition. Home as a material and spiritual set of these attributes is the need and goal of every person. The path of a particular family is determined by its destiny (the mind of God) and the combined and free will of all its members.
Basic forms of education in the field of S. t.: traditional (lectures, seminars, study of literature); joint (practical work under the guidance of a teacher-supervisor); group (various trainings). The latter is the most effective form of training practicing psychologists. The training program solves 4 main tasks: informs the student, demonstrates situations and techniques, develops psychotherapeutic attitudes and skills, provides conditions for the process of self-research and personal growth studying. Effective training requires that the facilitator unites the group of students, replenishes their self-worth, is authentic and congruent, active and empathic, and positive. The therapist’s constant elaboration and awareness of his own problems is a necessary condition for effective self-therapy. An important feature of such programs is the teamwork of the facilitators. Basic skills of a therapist: ability to establish and maintain contact with the client; the ability to analyze the state of the client and his family system; the ability to provide effective directive and instructive influence on the client and his family. (A. B. Orlov.)
Big psychological dictionary. - M.: Prime-EVROZNAK. Ed. B.G. Meshcheryakova, acad. V.P. Zinchenko. 2003 .
See what “family therapy” is in other dictionaries:
Family Therapy- a set of psychotherapeutic techniques aimed at harmonizing family relationships. Among the researchers who made the most significant contribution to the development of this approach, the most famous are the following: V. Satir, K. Whitaker, S. Minukhin, M.S.... ... Psychological Dictionary
Family therapy- theory and creative method of working with families as a team in the field of social problems. Aimed at uniting the family community, developing creative thinking among its members to meet the needs of children in the conditions of a particular society. WITH… … Fundamentals of spiritual culture (teacher's encyclopedic dictionary)
Family therapy- is the general name for psychotherapeutic techniques in which the family is considered as a single whole, without singling out individual individuals for treatment independent of other family members. Family therapy primarily concerns children with... encyclopedic Dictionary in psychology and pedagogy
Family therapy- Systemic family psychotherapy is one of the youngest psychotherapeutic schools developing recently. This approach arose after the Second World War, it developed in close collaboration with cybernetics, and this is its essential... ... Wikipedia
Family therapy- (family therapy), counseling or psychiatric. treatment of some or all family members as dep. groups. At S.t. A wide range of therapies and miscellaneous are used. types of diagnostics, including video recordings that allow you to assess your own behavior, and... ... Peoples and cultures
FAMILY THERAPY - General term to refer to a range of therapeutic approaches that treat the family as a whole, without singling out specific individuals for independent treatment. The term is theoretically neutral; Family therapy can be practiced within... Explanatory dictionary of psychology
family therapy) Description of family therapy S. t. can be characterized as an attempt to modify relationships in the context of the family system. In S. t., symptomatic behavior and problems are considered as the result of incorrect interaction, and not as an individual characteristic of a particular family member. Thus, S. t. is characterized by an interpersonal rather than an intrapsychic approach. This systemic theory from a therapeutic point of view. proposes to consider the family process as one in which each family member plays a certain role in maintaining the system. The “identified patient” may be seen as the “problem,” but the “cause” is the dysfunctional family system itself. The therapist's task is to change the system by appropriately. interventions. There are many directions, within which various techniques are used, but the principle common to all is that the problem is the system, not the individual. its separate element. The system is formed by interdependent elements that have mutual causation; their dynamic connection ensures the relative stability of the system over time. Systems can be open (i.e., showing trends towards continuous development or undergoing some kind of change) or closed. The family is an open system; An example of a closed system is a steam heating system. An open system is characterized by three qualities: integrity, relationships and equifinality. Integrity means that the system is formed by interactions, and not just a certain number of people. Relationships are understood as interactions within the system: everything that happens in the family between its members, their constant interactions and repeating patterns of such interactions. Equifinality is the quality of systems, thanks to which they function regardless of the initial causes and can change under the influence of current factors. They are not defined by their initial parameters. Four historical concepts Below are the early concepts that form the basis of the four modern ones. leading theories. 1. Interlocking Pathologies. Nathan Ackerman introduced the concept of interconnected pathologies, when the problems of one family member are connected through interactions with other family members. Ackerman observed these entangled roots in the family system and became convinced that they were, for the most part, not recognized by family members. The concept of interconnected, unconscious pathologies is supported by the object relations school. 2. Fusion. Murray Bowen introduced the concept of merger - a phenomenon originally. noted in families of patients with schizophrenia, but also observed in the so-called. normal families. Fusion means that the individual members of the family cannot act independently of each other and are welded together to form an indeterminate, amorphous mass. Psychoter. according to Bowen, it aims to “uncouple” family members from each other. 3. Pseudomutuality. Lyman Winn and his associates observed a false type of closeness or intimacy, which they called “pseudo-reciprocity,” characterized by a loss of boundaries between individual family members. As a way to correct this pseudo-intimacy, Winn proposed a change in boundaries by eliminating existing alliances and cleavages and creating new coalitions. Minuchin called the same phenomenon "entanglement" ("enmeshment"). The goal of structural S. t. is the creation of new alliances in order to help family members who are “confused” with each other or “disunited” become more independent. Structural family therapy is based on Ch. arr. based on Winn's ideas. 4. The Double Bind. “The double bind can be briefly described as a pattern of interaction characterized by “severe constraints” imposed through paradoxical communication within “important, emotionally significant relationships”, which results in an “unacceptable decision” from which its participants are “unable to extricate themselves.” (Ebelis). These processes in their strong manifestation found in families of patients with schizophrenia, but also, in a milder form, are also found in healthy families. The discovery of the "double bond" forced researchers to devote more attention laws governing communication. From view Bateson, every message has two aspects: the message and the command. The team aspect follows a set of rules that develop over time and tend to become self-reinforcing. This observation led to the idea that it is not necessary to go into deep search for the causes of symptoms in order to bring about therapeutic change, but only to pay attention to the behavior that maintains the system. Main schools of family therapy Currently main. The schools of S. t. are: object relations theory, Bowen theory, structural family therapy, and communication theory. Object Relations Theory This approach owes its origin to Melanie Klein, who argued that interaction with other people does not serve to satisfy instinctual needs, but to develop the self in the direction of distinguishing itself from objects. Adhering to this view. The therapist pays attention primarily to the denied unconscious projections and, in particular, to the collusion - the cooperation of family members in this process. Therapists of this school spend more time on biographical and intergenerational issues rather than on symptoms, viewing the latter as a consequence of the former. Bowen's Theory Bowen's Theory has evolved into an integrated system and includes 8 interrelated concepts. These are: a) triangles (under stress, one of the participants in the interaction enters into contact with a third party); b) differentiation of the Self (degree or volume of fusion); c) the emotional system of the nuclear family (patterns of functioning within one generation); d) the process of family projection (the mechanism by which the nuclear family system causes a deterioration in the child’s situation); e) emotional breakdown (relationships with the parental family); f) multigenerational transmission (how pathology is transmitted through generations); g) sibling position (determining the individual’s vision of the world) and h) social. regression (problems of the society, similar to the problems found in the family). The purpose of Bowen's theory is to help the individual in his differentiation or psychol. separation from the family, in the movement from a state of fusion to the formation of a “solid” I (as opposed to a “pseudo-I”, in which a person still remains psychologically welded to the family system). The therapist appears as a “coach” teaching family members how to differentiate. The importance of not feelings, but thinking is emphasized. The process of differentiation continues throughout life as the individual strives to remain connected to the family system while remaining an autonomous unit. The triangle is "the cornerstone of every emotional system" (Bowen). When the level of anxiety increases in the dyad’s system, they involve a “third party” to maintain the balance of the system. This idea turned out to be fruitful for S. t. and helped many therapists understand the role of symptoms, connections and psychosomatic diseases in an aspect leading to new intervention options. Structural Family Therapy Salvador Minujin developed short-term therapy methods aimed at reconstructing family structures. Minuchin's techniques go back to the ideas about the leveling tendency expressed by Lyman Wynne and the theories of H. S. Sullivan. Minuchin's goal is to change the structure of alliances and coalitions of family members and, thus, change their “perception” of each other. Minuchin focuses on the actual interactions of family members that reinforce observed behavior. He considers family organization to be the source of the problem of family maladjustment, since it requires a bearer of symptoms to function. He seeks to change the existing structure without caring about its origin. The family system is dysfunctional in the here-and-now situation, but the reason for it is existing organization, and not as a result of previous events in the past. The past is not of interest to the representative of structural S. t. Theory of communication This approach directly goes back to Bateson’s theory of the double bind, in which pathology appears as a problem of communication. The emphasis here is entirely on the actual systemic interaction without regard to the causes or origins of the problem. The goal of this approach is to change the rules of the system. This may mean prescribing symptoms or using paradox as a way to change the rules. See also Family crises, Systems Theory by V. Foley
FAMILY THERAPY
family psychotherapy) is a complex of psychotherapeutic techniques of various kinds aimed at harmonizing family relationships.
Among the researchers who made a particularly significant contribution to the development of this approach, the most famous are: V. Satir, K. Whitaker, S. Minuchin, M. S. Palazolli, D. Haley, M. Bowen, C. Madanes, L. Hoffman.
FAMILY THERAPY
or psychotherapy) (English: family therapy) - modification of relationships between family members as a system using psychotherapeutic and psychocorrective methods and with the aim of overcoming negative psychological symptoms and increasing the functionality of the family system. In S. t., psychological symptoms and problems are considered as the result of suboptimal, dysfunctional interactions of family members, and not as attributes of a person. family member (“identifiable patient”). As a rule, S. t. implements not an intra-, but an interpersonal approach to solving problems; the task is to change the family system as a whole through appropriate interventions.
Modern social theory is represented by many middle-level theories, including the communication theory of G. Bateson, the structural theory of S. Menuhin, the theory of object relations of J. Framo, and the humanistic theory of C. Rogers and V. Satir. , systemic S. t. M. Palazoli, J. F. Cecina, G. Prata and L. Boscolo, positive S. t. N. Pezeshkian, family ontotherapy A. Meneghetti, etc. Within the framework of these theories, a wide range of original concepts was created (“closed pathology”, “confusion”, “pseudo-commonality”, “double connection”, “double message”, “meta-communication”, etc.) and methods (“connection”, “circular interview”, “psychological sculpture” family", "positive definition of symptoms", etc.). Let us consider the main theoretical orientations in the field of social technology.
Family behavioral therapy. The essence of this approach is the idea of interdependence of the behavior of individuals: in any interaction, each of its participants strives to maximize “rewards” and minimize “costs.” Rewards are defined as the pleasures received, and costs are defined as the expenditure of time and effort. Marital discord has been described as a function of low rates of positive mutual reinforcement. A comparison of high-conflict and non-conflict couples reveals lower levels of reinforcement and higher levels of punishment in high-conflict families. The main strategy of S. t. is an increase in the interaction of positive, rewarding behavior and a decrease in negative, punishing behavior. The object of correction is the communicative behavior of spouses and parents. Changes in behavioral patterns of interaction in dysfunctional families are suggested by the following. areas of correctional and educational work: 1) training in the direct expression of expectations, desires, and dissatisfactions; 2) training in specific and operational expression of desires and intentions; 3) learning to communicate in a positive, reinforcing, constructive manner, both verbally and nonverbally; 4) training to enhance feelings of reciprocity and adequate communicative feedback; 5) training spouses in concluding various contracts on a mutual and unilateral basis; 6) learning to achieve compromise and consensus in the family. These correction directions may be implemented both in the context of individual counseling and in group work situations. The model of behavioral S. t. is described as follows. stages: goal; alternative ways to achieve the goal; program of step-by-step movement towards the goal; practical implementation of this program. Role-playing games, video training, and various kinds of homework are widely used to transfer acquired skills to real situations in the family.
The main drawback of the approach is that it ignores existential problems that cannot be reduced to purely behavioral difficulties. Since the problems* faced by the therapist are multidimensional (they manifest themselves in behavior, in the cognitive and emotional spheres), behavioral S. t. tends to enrich its arsenal with methods of cognitive psychology.
Psychoanalytic S. t. Psychoanalysis is still the most widespread theoretical approach in S. t., its ideas are popular among psychiatrists and social workers. However, among psychoanalysts themselves there is no consensus on whether a psychoanalyst should be considered a family psychotherapist. This circumstance is explained by the fact that classical psychoanalysis is focused on the study and treatment of the individual. The orthodox psychoanalytic position on this issue can be characterized by the following. way: family disorders are symptoms reflecting individual psychopathology; people who turn to a psychotherapist about family problems have deeply personal (intrapersonal) conflicts. Therefore, psychoanalysis acts as an individual treatment of the patient, excluding direct influence on his intrafamily relationships.
And in a number of neo-psychoanalytic approaches (for example, ego psychology, object relations theory, etc.), the problems of marital relations are also defined as manifestations of intrapersonal conflicts in the context of interpersonal relationships. Internal conflict is seen as a result of events that occurred in early childhood. The following are common to theories with a psychoanalytic orientation (psychodynamic approach, object relations theory, transactional analysis). provisions: the cause of family conflicts is early negative life experience; the determinants of ineffective methods are in the unconscious; Therapy should be aimed at making family members aware of the experiences repressed into the unconscious that determine their behavior and are responsible for the emergence of conflicts. In neo-psychoanalytic approaches, interpersonal relationships play a significant role as the causes of family conflicts. Techniques aimed at working with the whole family are beginning to be used. The therapist takes a more active position, not only interpreting the unconscious experiences of family members, but also directively intervening in family interactions.
The Milan systematic approach to S. t. developed in the 1970s. based on psychoanalysis, general systems theory, and the work of the Palo Alto school. Key points: the family is a self-regulating and constantly developing system; any human action is a form of communication; behavior is organized into patterns of interactions that are circular in nature; nonverbal aspects of communication are more important than its content; family members are elements of a unified system of interactions, the behavior of any of them influences the behavior of all others, but is not the cause of this behavior; the main regulator of interactions is family rules; The therapist, in his work with the family, maintains a neutral position, is non-directive and addresses behavioral patterns, and not family members as individuals. His task is to free the family from pathogenic patterns of interaction, to give it the opportunity to develop without experiencing symptoms. In this sense, there is no fixed normative image of the family. The adaptive capabilities of a family are related to its ability to change. Pathological families are characterized by the so-called. "family games" (the desire of each family member to define relationships with others in his own terms, while denying that he is doing so), which are based on the mistaken belief that there is the possibility of unilateral control over interpersonal relationships. In fact, the main rule of the game is that no one can ever win, since the system of circular relationships cannot be controlled. Psychotic behavior is a logical consequence of family play. Thus, any mental disorders are considered as violations of social interactions. Therapeutic work consists of separate sessions: pre-session (discussion of preliminary information about the family by a team of psychotherapists, development of an initial hypothesis about the functioning of the family); interview (obtaining basic information about the family, testing the initial hypothesis); break in the reception (team discussion of the progress of work, development of a system hypothesis); intervention (the therapist presenting a positive statement, or a paradoxical prescription, or ritualized behavior to the family); post-reception (team discussion of the family’s reaction to the intervention, formulation of general results of the reception). Teamwork (constant supervision) is the cornerstone of systemic therapy. The principles of therapy such as putting forward hypotheses, cyclicality, and neutrality in working with families are implemented here.
The last principle is especially important, since it is traditionally believed that a pathological family must change (change itself). In fact, this erroneous view. blocks the possibility of genuine change, which occurs only when the family is given real freedom (including the freedom not to change). The goal of systemic S. t. is to help the family as a system free its members from symptoms, interdependencies and defenses. Only by freeing oneself from the system of pathological communications can a person solve his problems and gain true individuality.
The theory of “dialogue” as applied to S. t. The fundamental concept of this approach is the concept of dialogue (M. M. Bakhtin). Dialogue is a characteristic and basic condition for the development of human consciousness and self-awareness - the polyphony of personal manifestos and self-definitions of the people around us. Every behavior is a replica in a global dialogue. Any communication is dialogical. The degree of dialogue is determined by overcoming various forms of resistance and defense characteristic of monological (closed, role-playing, conventional, manipulative) behavior. A counseling situation is a type of dialogue in which the therapist’s activity is determined by his position of aesthetic outside-ness: the client’s inner world acts as a displayed and understood object, but not as a field of activity and an object of analysis; The therapist addresses various aspects of the client's inner world. Understanding presupposes communication with the client as with a free person with dialogic intention, and presupposes the client’s reciprocal activity. The client’s difficulties in entering into dialogue pose the task of provoking the client’s dialogical intention. The general solution in this case is the “principle of silence”: the lack of significant reactions of the therapist in dialogue with the client. The therapist's dialogical position is implemented as follows. forms: postulate of responsibility (the idea of human freedom and responsibility for what is happening and for one’s own condition); orientation to meaning (setting before the client a task on the meaning of counseling with subsequent rethinking of life situations and tasks); fundamental openness (the opportunity for the client to contact the consultant again at any time, switch to other methods or to other specialists); admissibility of advice (as a means of establishing contact with the client, updating certain contents in his mind, indicating ignored aspects of his own problems).
Orthodox tradition in the construction of spirituality. God is the source of human spiritual energy. The image of God in a person is the core and essence of personality, it is fundamentally indestructible and inexhaustible, an internal approach to it makes the person himself more and more unique. The basis of any marriage, which is built on the right (spiritual) foundations, is a meeting (acquaintance as revelation and love). In the family, there are ways and mechanisms for constantly renewing the experience of meeting (individual and church-wide prayer, participation in the liturgical life of the Church), which are simultaneously a source of spiritual energy and renewal of interpersonal relationships in the family. These relationships are seen as archetypal and hierarchical (lacking the fullness of revelation, but full of love). The family is rooted in the clan. The main materializing principle of the family is the house as a bodily-mental-spiritual space. A home is built and maintained by the constant intercession of at least one family member before God. Various attributes of a house (from the roof to the basement) have special meanings and loads in the Orthodox tradition. Home as a material and spiritual set of these attributes is the need and goal of every person. The path of a particular family is determined by its destiny (the mind of God) and the combined and free will of all its members. The main forms of education in the field of Art: traditional (lectures, seminars, study of literature); joint (practical work under the guidance of a teacher-supervisor); group (various trainings). The latter is the most effective form of training practicing psychologists. The training program solves 4 main tasks: informs the student, demonstrates situations and techniques, develops psychotherapeutic attitudes and skills, provides conditions for the process of self-exploration and personal growth of the student. Effective training requires that the facilitator unites the group of students, replenishes their self-worth, is authentic and congruent, active and empathic, and positive. The therapist’s constant elaboration and awareness of his own problems is a necessary condition for effective self-therapy. An important feature of such programs is the teamwork of the facilitators. Basic skills of a therapist: ability to establish and maintain contact with the client; the ability to analyze the state of the client and his family system; the ability to provide effective directive and instructive influence on the client and his family. (A. B. Orlov.)
Family therapy is designed to help families. It helps to cope with large-scale problems, and with very minor, and everyday problems. Family therapy is intended to eliminate problems in the family or contribute to overcoming existing disharmony in the family.
Family therapy can be useful enterprise, both for a married couple, and for a broader definition of “family”, which includes relatives and close friends. What should you expect from family therapy? Family therapy may be presented over multiple sessions or visit cycles. Some classes can be attended by all family members, while others can be strictly individual or couples meetings. That is, the psychologist talks with each spouse separately in order to more clearly form a picture of the problem presented.
How can family therapy help?
Heart-to-heart conversations are often effective way help the family coexist and function in a more peaceful way, because married couples will see their problems and learn to solve them. Family therapy can be especially effective in multigenerational families because generational issues can often cause resentment and misunderstandings between family members. What does family therapy consist of? Family therapy offers an open way for family members to discuss their thoughts and feelings without fear of physical or mental attack. Psychologists help family members cope with personal problems, as well as the problems of other family members, and create positive dynamics in family. By offering an opportunity for open conversation between members of the household, family therapy often helps create a more pleasant, comfortable environment in the home.
There are several types of family therapy
Family therapy comes in three main types. The most common type of family therapy is family systems theory, which suggests that the family is a unit of society that works better in unison rather than separately. Other types of family therapy focus on the psychological dynamics of the family and the behavioral problems of individual family members.
The benefits of therapy for married couples are the ability to smooth out conflicts and learn to control one’s feelings in a given situation. Understanding how to resolve conflicts can also help you anticipate future problems and avoid them entirely, or resolve them quickly. Couples may feel more satisfied with their relationship after visiting a therapist. It is important to understand that only working together on problems in relationships and in your family will lead you to an effective result.