Despite the fact that there seem to be only three channels, a person reproduces within himself (sometimes they also say represents) and processes experience in 4 ways. Added Inner Dialogue or Digital channel. It is designated Ad. If B, A And TO -- analog channels, that is, objects are perceived as a whole, then Ad- discrete, digital , it works with words and numbers.
Usually a person is more focused on one of the channels - he spends more time in it, thinks better, and this method of perception is more important for him than the others. This does not mean at all that the visual does not hear or feel anything. This only means that vision is more important to him.
|
Patterns |
Visual |
Kinesthetic |
Audial |
Digital |
|
PREDICATES |
Seems |
feel |
tone |
no predicates |
|
POSE |
Straight, straightened, head and shoulders raised |
Relaxed, head and shoulders lowered. Sits leaning forward. |
Head to one side, "telephone pose", straight seat |
Crossed arms, straight posture, raised head. |
|
BODY TYPE |
Both "skinny" and "fat" |
Plump, round, soft. |
There is no clear dependence |
soft, |
|
MOVEMENTS |
Stiff, convulsive, at the level of the upper body. |
Loose, flowing, usually at the level of the lower body. |
Sometimes clamped, sometimes free, at the level of the middle part of the body. |
Movements are not flexible, usually a frozen posture. |
|
LIPS SHAPE |
Thin, narrow |
Plump, soft. |
Various. |
Narrow, tight. |
|
BREATH |
High, chesty. |
Low, abdominal. |
In full. |
Limited. |
|
High, clear, fast, loud. |
Low, slow, hoarse. |
Melodic, rhythmic, changing. |
Monotone. intermittent, thick. |
|
|
DIRECTION OF VIEW |
Above others |
Under those around |
Eyes downcast. |
Looks over the crowd. |
|
COMMUNICATION RULES |
"Look to hear." |
He would rather touch than look. |
"Don't look to hear." |
No eye contact. |
|
DISTANCE |
Big to see. They don't like touching. |
Very close to touch |
Small, but protected from touching. |
Remote. |
|
CHARACTERISTIC |
They don’t want to be inferior to their interlocutor. |
They get out of stress by taking the blame upon themselves. |
Very verbose, no rhetorical questions. |
When stressed, they become hyper-rational. |
|
MAIN WORD |
FUNCTIONAL |
And now a few interesting facts. In Russia on this moment A very approximate distribution by type is:
Visuals - 35%;
Kinesthetics - 35%;
Auditory learners - 5%;
Digital - 25%;
And, for example, for the USA it looks a little different:
Visuals - 45%;
Kinesthetics - 45%;
Auditory learners - 5%;
Digital -5%;
If we talk about culture, we can say that in Russia and the USA visual-kinesthetic culture. But in England auditory-visual culture. At the same time, almost all ancient cultures were kinesthetic- remember at least ancient Indian or Persian drawings.
At the same time, keep in mind that people different types your style of clothing, your companies, your conversations and your work. For example, among officials there is a very large percentage of digital and audio people, just like among the military.
But at the same time, we must remember that, generally speaking, the division by type is very arbitrary, and although there really are people who use almost the same channel, they are quite few. Most people use several quite effectively, they just have one prefer more. This is the channel of preference we are talking about.
And now about each type separately.
Visuals.
- Are you married?
- No, that's just how I look!
Very often Visuals can be quite thin and lean. They often have thin lips(do not confuse with Digitals, whose lips are quite dense, but pursed - the difference, I hope, is clear to you). A familiar grimace - slightly raised eyebrows as a sign of attention. The voice is most often high-pitched.
Visuals usually sit upright and stand too. If they slouch, they still lift their head up.
The distance is such that it is better discern interlocutor. Therefore, they usually sit at some distance in order to increase field of view.
For example, in my classes, when the group sits down in general circle, some people usually sit so that to be closer (Kinesthetics), and others sit opposite so that there is better seen (Visuals).
For Visuals, it is important that it is BEAUTIFUL. They are even ready to wear something spectacular, pretty and bright (depending on taste), but uncomfortable. This doesn't mean they necessarily have uncomfortable clothes, just appearance
for them more important. And you are unlikely to see him in dirty, wrinkled clothes - not for reasons of decency, but for aesthetic reasons.
Visual learners are good storytellers; they can imagine a picture and describe it. And they plan well. In general, the visual system is very successful for inventing and dreaming. This is the type of people who are primarily attracted to cinematography by the work of the cameraman, costume designer and effects specialist - beautiful plans, original costumes, colorful explosions:
It was so beautiful. The sunset is such a completely unearthly color: red, and at the same time it doesn’t hurt the eyes too much. Gradually the camera zooms in, the sun turns into a huge sparkling ball. Absolutely amazing!
For Visuals, vision and hearing are one system. If they don’t see, then it’s as if they don’t hear.
I tell my wife:
- Listen to the music!
She turns and looks at the tape recorder.
If you are explaining something to the Visual, it is advisable to simultaneously show graphs, tables, drawings, pictures, photographs. Well, as a last resort, show with your hands what size it is and where it is located. When they gesture, they themselves use their hands to show where the pictures are located, at what distance and in what direction.
When choosing furniture or any objects, Visuals pay attention to the combination of colors and harmonious shapes.
Kinesthetics.
My husband is going to the resort. The wife asks:
- Why didn't you put on your wedding ring?
- Ring? What are you doing? In this heat?
But they prefer soft, comfortable furniture, as if inviting them to lie down and relax. Kinesthetics. These are people who value convenience, comfort and are attentive to their own body. They have it quite dense, their lips are wide and full-blooded. Kinesthetic people usually sit leaning forward and often slouch.
They speak slowly, their voice is often muffled and low.
These are the people who can wear an old ratty sweater with patches just because it's comfortable. And what its appearance is is not so important.
They like to be close to their interlocutor in order to touch. And if your partner is constantly trying to fiddle with some part of your toilet, twisting a button, touching, etc. - this is most likely a Kinesthetic person. Although a speck of dust that disturbs the harmony and cutting my eyes, rather remove the Visual.
Kinesthetics- these are people of action. They need to move, run, spin, touch, taste and smell. This is their way of perceiving the world, they simply don’t understand anything differently (by the way, all action verbs usually relate to kinesthetics: run, walk, pull, reap, roll, saw, plan, hit, swing). This, however, does not mean that Kinesthetic people are very active people, they just main tool perception is the body, and the method is movement, action. Even if they read the instructions, they need to immediately try what is written there in practice, otherwise they simply will not perceive the text.
In books and films, they are mainly interested in the plot, and they omit elegant dialogues and colorful descriptions as unnecessary. Remember how children (usually Kinesthetics, by the way) talk about movies:
And then he runs in, grabs her and mounts her. They gallop, they are being chased, but they move forward. Enemies meet him - he hits one with a pistol, the second with a saber, on his horse and forward...
Kinesthetics are usually very weak they plan - in this system there is no way to invent something. Therefore, they prefer to get into a fight first and sort it out later. These are precisely the people at the seminar for whom dividing into microgroups is much more important than the task for which all this is being started. And they also say that “there is a lot of talk, but there's not enough to do" This is true for them.
And relationships for them are, first of all, a kind of action. Men (who are usually quite kinesthetic) can hardly accept women’s complaints, assuring:
She doesn’t need a solution to the problem, but just to tell her.
For them, “just a story” seems to be meaningless - something needs to be done about it, and if there is nothing to do, then there is no point in chatting. And in sex, “all these colorful foreplays and conversations” are difficult for kinesthetics (women too, and not just men) to understand and are not needed. You need to do business, work!
Typical problematic situation: husband - Kinesthetic, wife - Visual. The husband came home from work tired and tries to cuddle, touching his wife. This brings her into mild stress, since visual people don’t particularly like touch, and my wife is tired too. The husband senses her reaction and also becomes stressed, and to resolve the misunderstanding, he tries to touch his wife even more intensely. This naturally increases her stress, and at the same time his... It all ends, naturally, in a scandal, and both are usually completely unaware of its reasons - they just suddenly begin to get angry with each other, considering the other the cause of all this disgrace.
At the same time, kinesthetics can have a hard time withstanding stress and uncomfortable situations - they are the same in all these experiences. sink. That's why they hard say " No" Just to try, say to yourself a few times " No” and notice how it makes you feel.
Auditory learners.
Conservatory, everyone is spellbound listening to beautiful music. One of the spectators pushes his neighbor in the side:
- Sorry, did you say: "...your mother?"
- Of course not!!!
- Sorry, then maybe you? Also no? Probably inspired by the music.
The Audial pose is a cross between the Visual and Kinesthetic poses - they sit upright, but with a slight lean forward. They have a rather characteristic “telephone pose” - their head is slightly to one side, closer to the shoulder. But if the head is to one side and slightly forward, then if it is tilted to the right, it is more likely a kinesthetic, and if it is to the left, then it is a digital channel.
It’s difficult to say anything about the body; there seem to be no particularly characteristic signs.
But they love to talk. This is everything for them, they live in conversation, in sounds, in melodies and rhythms. They are only looking for a reason to talk - there are no rhetorical questions for them. If you ask how life is, they will honestly tell you how life is. At the same time, they may not particularly focus on auditory words, but use both visual and kinesthetic ones, but in very large quantities.
As one heroine of Ostrovsky’s comedy said: “ How will I know what I'm thinking if I don't say it out loud??"
Auditory learners love dialogues (both in books and in films) - they can hear them within themselves and tell them to others:
Madam, you look so wonderful today!
Come on, Alberto. You are so kind!
It's not a compliment! This is simply a description of what I see in front of me.
You are so gallant!
Moreover, the content does not play a special role, the main thing is the voices that sound inside and are eager to come out. By the way, Audials’ voices are usually very expressive, deep, melodic, and often have a good ear for music.
Digitals.
His wife approaches the English lord sitting by the fireplace:
- Bad news, sir. What we thought was pregnancy turned out not to be pregnancy.
- So there will be no heir?
- Unfortunately no, sir...
- Oh God, these senseless movements again!
Digitals have a tight and straight posture. They practically do not gesture, since it does not convey any information to them; they speak quite monotonously - intonations are not needed, and they perceive them with difficulty. The distance is distant, they look either at the interlocutor’s forehead or “above the crowd.” They don’t like touching (in my opinion, only Kinesthetic people like touching).
Although, touches are different.
Digitals- This is a very peculiar type of people. They are more focused on meaning, content, importance and functionality. As one boy said:
I fell in love with garlic after I found out what it was like. useful.
Digitals seem to be divorced from real experience - they think more with the words themselves, and not what is behind the words.
If a person, after talking about your difficulties, says something like:
- IUnderstand
, What do you feel, - he is most likely currently in a digital channel: Digitals do not sympathize, they understand. It was absolutely wonderfully shown in “Wild Orchid” by Zalman King. Remember what they say about the main character:
Distance, full control, nothing extra...
This is absolutely special way perception of the world, its representation and comprehension. A little metaphor to help you better understand this type of perception.
Imagine, you come to a restaurant, there are a lot of beautiful and aromatic dishes, you sit down at a table, take the menu, read it carefully and... eat it.
For Digitals, what is written or spoken is, as it were, reality itself. If for everyone else words are access to experience, then for Digitals all experience consists of words.
But in body, by the way, Digitals can be similar to Kinesthetics - a dense body, wide (although usually pursed) lips... They, in general, come from Kinesthetics - if what a person feels, those emotions that he experiences are too painful for him, one of the ways to get rid of them is to go into reasoning. And you don’t seem to feel anything anymore, you you know.
The problem with the digital system is that it by itself, without recourse to other channels, is not capable of changing information. Words turn only into words, and everything returns to starting point. If you listen to your own internal monologues(monologues?), then there will be something like:
Why did he call me a fool? Perhaps I did something wrong myself? Or was I wrong? Next time I will answer him... How dare he! Why did he call me a fool? Perhaps I did something wrong myself? Or was I wrong? Next time I'll answer him...
However, if you only use one system, this is generally quite disadvantageous. You simply do not perceive the many absolutely amazing and delightful things that are around you. This, alas, passes by your consciousness.
The digital channel is responsible for speech control.
But on the other hand, I often admire the ability of some of my acquaintances to act in difficult situations without unnecessary emotions, with their absolutely fantastic scrupulousness and pragmatic approach. Digitals are capable of composing documents written in such a way that there are no unnecessary interpretations, so that every word stands in its place. For me personally, it has always been a kind of magic. This high craftsmanship- compress a huge amount of human desires and intentions to a few lines on paper. And I write this without any irony. The digital channel is responsible for the formulation of phrases. As someone who has to constantly work with definitions and make sure expressions are accurate, I know how difficult it is to do this really well.
In one English college A competition was announced among students for the most short story. Any topic, but there are four mandatory conditions:
1. The queen must be present in the essay.
2. God must be mentioned.
3. A little erotica.
4. To have a secret.
The first prize was awarded to the student who put the story into one sentence:
- Oh my God! - exclaimed the queen. - I'm pregnant and I don't know from whom.
Differences.
The differences will concern many things, for example, the organization of thinking, memory, and methods of learning.
Kinesthetic remembers everything with the body, muscles - the body has its own memory. This method is very effective for learning to ride a bike or swim, but for remembering how to solve an integral or a phone number it can be quite inconvenient.
To remember a phone number, Kinesthetic must write it with your own hand, Audial- pronounce, Visual It’s enough to remember what it looks like.
Visual loves information in the form of graphs, tables, films, he needs something to look at. At the same time, he is able to “see the entire sheet.” Audiual Usually you need to say all this inside yourself (remember the alphabet).
Kinesthetics you need to touch, do, move. He will immediately begin to figure out exactly how to do something, and what needs to be pressed in order for this thing to rattle, and preferably in his hands. Visual rather, he will ask to show how it is done, and Audial- tell me more. Digital First of all, he will ask to see the instructions and will first study in great detail the power consumption and water consumption per kilogram of laundry.
In practice this can be applied in the following way. For example, you sell a vacuum cleaner or a sewing machine. Visual give a colorful brochure with drawings and photographs, show the device and note how pleasant the design is to the eye and the beautiful color ratio. Kinesthetics put this sewing machine in his hands and explain what to press and what to turn, and let him try for himself how convenient it is. Audiual it is advisable to talk for a long time about anything, just not in a monotonous, but in an expressive voice, highlighting important points intonation, emphasizing the noiselessness or melody of the sounds produced. Digital post certificates, documents, specifications, preferably on a piece of paper with a lot of numbers and stamps. And talk only to the point, about the functionality and usefulness of this device.
Ecology of life. Cognitive: Touch is the strongest energy tool and way of influencing people. It is capable of transmitting many signals...
Touch is the most powerful energy tool and way of influencing people. It can convey many signals: about our well-being, about our emotional state, about our love or dislike.
Touch can calm, instill self-confidence, and even relieve an attack of pain.
Or maybe cause a spasm of disgust.
Or maybe, unbeknownst to us, it can convey to us a negative, destructive attitude.
Important nuance: When conducting serious negotiations, it is necessary to strictly maintain a distance and avoid touching. Even a palm placed on your hand as if by chance will prevent you from making the right decision. An innocent gesture removes suspicion, increases trust and relaxes.
Did you know that touching with your LEFT hand has a more powerful effect on us? strong impact, than right? And the most powerful in terms of energy impact are touches on the back, elbow, back of the neck, i.e. to the parts of our body that are most distant from the interlocutor?
Interestingly, touching the elbow:
For some peoples, it vividly symbolizes friendly protection and support, expresses warm sympathy;
And for some, on the contrary, it is considered an unacceptable invasion of personal space, an insult, and can cause an explosion of indignation.
People feel differently about touch.
Someone happily hugs people who are not too close when they meet... Someone flinches unpleasantly at the accidental touch of even a long-known colleague...
Some people don’t want to tear themselves away from their lover even for a minute... For others, close hugs deprive them of energy...
What you need to know about touching!
Never try to force yourself to get used to unpleasant touches. You cannot ignore the signals of the subconscious! If a neighbor or colleague has a way of patting you on the shoulder in a friendly manner, and you find it unpleasant, stop it by any means. Say directly that you are not a fan of familiarity. Otherwise, you risk wasting your energy during the day not on work, but on fighting other people’s energy flows.
Extremely avoid touching your hair! Hair, especially women's hair, has a sacred meaning in any culture - it is a carrier feminine power. Many magical rituals are carried out on a strand of hair, because they, like antennas, accumulate energy. The easiest way to do a love spell or damage is on your hair. Never use someone else's comb - this is also touching. Exception - professional work hairdresser
For the back, beneficial touches are movements from the bottom up, but this is only permissible for those closest to you or a massage therapist. Touching your back against your will can easily make a hole in your biofield. Have you noticed that a supposedly friendly pat on the back is almost always unpleasant when done by a stranger? This is the body signaling danger. But how pleasant it is for us when a loved one hugs us from behind - our aura receives a powerful boost at this moment. The body cannot react neutrally and indifferently to touches on the back - it is either very pleasant or causes rejection. Listen to his signals.
Touching the abdomen, especially the lower part, deserves special mention. This area is so sensitive (it stores sexual energy) that even a glance can be equated to a touch. An open belly is a direct access to your energy. Don’t waste it on strangers; it’s better to leave it for those closest to you. If you can’t resist the temptation to show off your charming belly in the summer, wear silver, red jasper or carnelian as jewelry - they will take the evil eye away from your belly.
When you cannot avoid unpleasant touches, hold a fig in your fist.
Touch the people you love often and avoid the touch of others if possible. published
It's no secret that a friendly pat on the back or a little kiss on the cheek helps us feel better. And experts add that it's not just a matter of pleasant sensations: the right touch can reduce blood pressure, improve your mood and even... improve math skills!
Scientists and researchers in last years are closely addressing such issues. The tactile sensations of a massage, pat on the back, or hugs help premature babies gain weight, promote recovery from illness, and calm us down when we're scared. Another study found that students are more likely to return to the library (and enjoy working there!) if the librarian touches them when checking out books.
There is a logical explanation for this: the skin is the largest human organ, and every time its receptors are exposed to external stimulation, the pleasure hormone oxytocin is released, which helps us feel good. At the same time, the level of the stress hormone cortisol decreases.
IN modern world, Where most of interactions took a virtual form (telephone, social media, Email, SMS), physical contact became more precious than ever. Meanwhile, touches and hugs are extremely important.
Case studies
Scientists' interest extends to all types of touch, from light pats to firm handshakes. “Touch has a much deeper and more complex effect than we usually think,” says Dr. Matthew J. Hertnstein, Ph.D., and professor of psychology. Here are just a few reasons why (and why) touch can improve your life.
Touch makes you feel better
Fact: A pat on the back can give you confidence when you're feeling down. But according to research by Dr. Tiffany Field (director of the Touch Institute at the University of Miami), touch can also boost your immune system!
Experiments at the University of North Carolina have shown that even 10 minutes spent with a partner in “love seats” (seats for two without armrests in a movie theater) lowers blood pressure in premenopausal women. The same experiments showed that women who are often hugged have a normal heartbeat. In this case, the hug may not come from a regular partner. There is also evidence that touch relieves asthma and migraines.
Massage relieves stress and... makes you smarter
University Scientists Miami was allowed to decide math problems people before and after they sit in a massage chair. After the massage, the subjects' speed and accuracy in solving problems increased, moreover, they received more pleasure while searching for the correct answer, and all because their stress level decreased.
Dr. Dacher Keltner, author of Born to Be Good, discovered that teams where athletes encourage each other by clapping their hands and backs show top scores than those that do not tactilely support each other. Of course, it is difficult to practice this in an ordinary team, but you can use what the scientist calls “reasonable” touch - a light touch on a colleague’s back or shoulder, a handshake.
Warmth can change your attitude towards the world in general
Scientists have discovered that it is not necessary to touch a person to “cheer up.” When you feel upset or depressed, hold a hot cup of tea or coffee in your hands. You will return to a balanced state very soon.
A study by scientists from Yale University has proven that we think and respond better to people if at that moment we are holding something warming in our hands.
Hugs can strengthen partnerships
“Touch plays a key role in family relationships,” says Dr. Matthew J. Hertnstein. Too many fathers are reluctant to hug their sons for fear of being misunderstood. Meanwhile, it is tactile sensations that strengthen family ties.
In 2011, the Kinsey Institute surveyed more than 1,000 men between the ages of 40 and 70 in a study on the relationship between gender, sex and reproduction. The results showed that for many of them, frequent cuddling was even more important... than sex!
"It's important to get a daily dose of touch," says Tiffany Field. “It’s like dieting or exercising; if you don’t exercise regularly, the effect disappears.”
How to rekindle the flame in marriage?
How to rekindle the fire in your marriage
These strategies will help you and your partner feel closer:
Accidental kiss
Research confirms important random touch - it makes us feel needed, important. Touch your spouse as if by accident, touch his arm, thigh, thank him for his help with a light kiss.
Look for what unites you
The most happy families have long revealed this secret and are constantly searching for “similarities”: French cinema, favorite type of pizza, evening walks in the park - it’s not so important what exactly you both like, the main thing is that you can do it together! Here the right way feel like a couple.
"Synchronize"
Pay attention to what your partner says, what is important to him, and never ignore these topics. Don’t forget about the body: sometimes (!) mirror its gestures and manners - then your spouse will catch the signal on a subconscious level: “you are at the same time with him,” “on his team.” And he will reciprocate.
Adults only
These few touches will not only help your man relax, they will turn him into an affectionate and gentle animal... Light stroking can have a long-term effect, here are a few movements that will strengthen your emotional connection:
Be on his mind Spread your fingers and gently run, using light pressure with your palm, from the base of his neck to the back of his head. Massage his shoulders Start warming up with outside and slowly move towards the middle. And remember, the most important thing is not where and how you touch, but what you both feel at the same time! Cheer him up with hugs Yes, yes, just hug him, not lean against him. By leaning against it, you “put” another weight on it. Your hug should say: “I love you, I care about you, I support you,” and not: “I need something from you.”
A very important touch...
Recognitions from our readers and users of the website www.site
“Since childhood, my father always held my hand when we crossed the road. I grew up and became a “big girl” - I already have three children myself, but he still continued to hold my hand if we walked along the zebra crossing together. For me, this touch has always been a source of love and support. ...My father died in 1999, and I still miss his palm when I cross the road..." /Svetlana, Smolensk/
« In infancy, my daughter slept very poorly. One day at 4:20 in the morning, still holding her in my hands, I burst into tears from exhaustion. And then my daughter reached out to me. I inhaled her scent, felt the warmth of her body and realized that for her sake I could endure much more than sleepless nights.”. /Ekaterina, Moscow/
« For several years now I have been going to the same hairdresser. He cuts hair well, but the way he washes his hair is incredible. Five to seven minutes, and not a trace remains of tension, stress or worry! These massaging touches have calmed me down more than once when I was experiencing a breakup in a relationship or the departure of my relatives. After the hairdresser I feel calm for a long time". /Julia, Moscow/
« I was stuck at Koltsovo airport - I missed the plane. And then, sitting in the waiting room, I saw a serviceman. Still almost a boy, he wandered sadly through the hall. I walked up to him and extended my hand for a handshake: “Serving in the army is the act of a real man.” He beamed: “I arrived a day earlier than planned, and although I understand everything, I was still upset that no one was meeting me... You cheered me up.”. /Anna, Ekaterinburg/
« From the first day of living together, my husband and I sleep in an embrace, in the spoon position. Or, as we say, “with a mold.” Even in our sleep we turn around synchronously: first I hug him, then he hugs me. For us, this is not just a habit, it is a time-tested tradition. And it seems to me that as long as we sleep like a mold, nothing is scary for our family!» /Tatiana, Moscow/
"M I wasn't 27 when I moved to America. At that moment, I wasn’t dating anyone, I lived alone, my parents were across the ocean. I was lonely. I came to Sunday service. At the end, the priest asked: “Now that you are at peace with yourself, share this feeling with those around you - extend your hand to the person next to you. There are people in this church who haven’t been hugged in a week.” I, 27 years old, looked around at the other parishioners - everyone was older than me - and thought condescendingly: “Poor old people.” And then I suddenly realized: the priest was not talking about them, he was talking about me!» /Veronica, New Jersey, USA/
« My father was a military man, our family often moved from place to place, so as a child I had almost no friends. And that is why I was very happy about the visits of my great-grandmother. She had arthritis, but I loved her hands, they were wonderful - tanned, dry, calloused and tough. She loved to garden and knead dough. Before going to bed, she stroked my back and hummed until I fell asleep... At that moment I was the happiest in the world». /Natalia, Troitsk/
“Three years ago, my 21-year-old son died suddenly. Burnt out from incurable disease. Returning to work and interacting with colleagues again was a challenge for me. Most people didn't know what to say or how to behave, so they pretended nothing happened, with the exception of two co-workers. They came into my office and hugged me without saying a word. I am sure that they did this without talking or even knowing about each other. This went on for several months, and every time one of them hugged me, I started crying, but these hugs eased my pain» /Nina, Podolsk/
« Every morning, before leaving for work, my husband and I hug. Necessarily. Not routinely, but truly, firmly. And it seems to me that it is these hugs (just a few seconds) that “make my day” - they guarantee that everything will be fine. The warmth of my husband's body gives me a feeling of peace and unity, he hugs me as if it is the most natural thing in the world. But that’s how it is...» /Olga, Omsk/ "Touch is as important to us as sunlight! Diana Ackerman, author of "The History of Feelings"
The best hug scenes in movies
Best hug scenes
People usually talk about impressive (passionate, sensual) kisses from movies, but hugs can also be unforgettable. No doubt you remember these too! 
The final scenes of the romantic comedy " Real love“—meeting and seeing off at the airport, you can’t do without hugs!
...If you lightly grab a person’s hand, his heart rate will slow down and his blood pressure will drop.”
Sometimes you can’t help but wonder why lonely people are so irritable and get sick more often... because it seems that there are no irritating factors nearby - no family scandals, disputes and problems, no exhausting worries... then something is clearly missing... and it’s not at all a matter of the notorious lack of sex...
Perhaps they lack...touch!?
Many have noticed that children often ask to be held, can come up and cuddle with their legs, and enjoy it when their mother strokes and hugs them.
All because this is a real, urgent need of the body. The same need as the need for food or sleep. It’s just that with age it becomes “not accepted” and a person begins to experience a lack of sensations.
If a person is constantly lacking sleep, all metabolic processes slow down, the feeling of anxiety increases, and the whole body works in stress mode.
The same thing happens if a person chronically lacks tactile sensations.
After all, the sense of touch is given to us for a reason. It is vital.
Touch is the fifth sense.
The type of touch we experience as infants shapes and determines what we will be like when we grow up. IN mature age touch continues to influence our physical, emotional and spiritual nature. Touch not only affects how we move, react and respond to what is happening around us, but also how we know and experience ourselves. It is through the skin that we experience the world around us after birth. Through the skin we define our individual boundaries, as well as the development of our personality.
It turns out that people who are members of happy marriage, are less likely to suffer from cancer, colds and heart disease. Latest Research showed that the reason lies in touching.
Scientists at the University of Zurich asked a number of women satisfied with their marriages to take a test in the presence of a jury. Those subjects whose husbands only verbally encouraged them before the test showed high level stress hormones. And the lucky women whose husbands gave them a light neck and shoulder massage passed the test much more calmly.
Constant touch from a loved one increases the level of cortisol in the blood, which is responsible for stress resistance. You have a chance to test this for yourself: if things are difficult at work, try hugging your loved one more often. You will see, you will become much simpler and calmer in your approach to stressful situations.
What's behind a hug?
Each your hug or touching a loved one can carry a unique positive charge or all messages at the same time:
- I love you, you are the most important person in my life
- I trust you
- I accept you as you are: in wrinkled pajamas, with increased level blood cholesterol and obsession computer games
- I appreciate everything you do for me
- thank you for being not just my lover, but also my friend
- I will always help you
Touch: instructions for use
Tactile contacts do not necessarily carry sexual overtones. Here are some ways to touch your loved one so they can feel your closeness, support and tenderness:
- Hold hands more often, both in private and in public
- stretch each other's necks and shoulders
- When sitting next to you, move as close as possible closer friend to friend
- put your hand on your loved one's shoulder or leg
- lightly hug or literally squeeze each other in your arms
Receive the necessary sensations and touches in the right quantities from loved one- this is an ideal option.
And like everything perfect - rare. And sensations are a matter of health. Their lack can lead to serious problems, including mental ones.
They suffer especially acutely from a lack of sensation and touch. kinesthetics, i.e. people who perceive the world around them through sensations.
For visuals(those who perceive the world mainly visually) and auditory people, who perceive the main information through hearing, the problem of sensations is not so acute.
But if the visual is blindfolded, he will really suffer, because... His main channel of communication with the world is visual.
The same thing is with kinesthetics - they may develop depression and the functioning of all body systems may be disrupted if they experience a lack of sensations.
Psychologists necessarily recommend massage and a swimming pool to such people, because... in both cases there is a positive, beneficial and necessary effect on the skin.
It is known that touch has a versatile healing effect. This happens because touch affects both the body and consciousness at once. For example, touch has a beneficial effect on the immune system.
A lung condition excitement has a positive tonic effect on the functioning of the whole organism.
It is not surprising that touch has a positive effect on people restoring their vital functions. Patients who received touch from nurses returned to normal faster than those who were not touched. It is not known exactly how touch helps in this situation. It may be directly related to relaxation, pain relief and healing mechanisms. Or touch conveys tenderness and care and instills in the patient a feeling self-esteem and the mindset for recovery.
In any case, everyone agrees that touch and erotic sensations are not only beneficial to the body, but also vital.
Right!! Because suppressing natural desire can make you neurotic, lead to depression and other bad conditions.
An example is the same children. Try to constantly refuse a child who wants to climb into his arms, hug his mother, wants to be petted... Deprive the child of this for just a few days... He will start crying, being capricious, freaking out, having hysterics... And this is for several days without tenderness, attention and affection...
And adults have been deprived of this for years. Even if they receive tactile sensations, it is far from being to the extent they need.
A hand placed on the shoulder in time as a sign of support. A timid touch on your sleeve from an unfamiliar girl: “Do you happen to know how to find..?” A friend who, just by touching your hand, can change your seemingly spoiled mood for the whole day... Maybe we are also capable of crushing someone’s long-boring armor with a friendly touch?
Psychologists say that for us, adults, to maintain normal state of mind We need at least eight hugs a day from a loved one who is significant to us. As for children, they literally need the encouraging touch of an adult. And just as when there is a lack of oxygen, a person begins to suffocate, and when there is a lack of affection, a person begins to get sick. Touch emphasizes intimacy, attention, support, and allows a person to feel their importance and necessity.
