Online Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire. Here's my Radical Apology

Ecology of life. Psychology: This technique was created by Colin Tipping, an English psychotherapist who for a long time worked with cancer patients...

The Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire is main tool Radical forgiveness.

This technique was created by Colin Tipping, an English psychotherapist who has worked with cancer patients for a long time.

Tipping noted that the reason for almost everyone cancer diseases- these are emotions. Moreover, those emotions that were born, but were not released into the light, were suppressed and remained inside the person.

Resentment, feelings of guilt and shame, suppressed aggression and hatred - all these feelings, if not expressed or released, begin to devour a person from the inside and often lead to the development bad habits and cancer cells.

Radical forgiveness allows you to let go of these emotions and truly deeply forgive both yourself and the people around you.

Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire

Date __________ Questionnaire No. __________ Object (X) – the reason for your grief

1. The situation that caused my dissatisfaction. How I perceive it now:
2a. Claims against X: I am angry with you because:			2b. Your behavior makes me feel the following (identify your true emotions here):
3. I lovingly acknowledge and accept my feelings and no longer judge them.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
4. I am the owner of my feelings. No one can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
5. Although I do not know how or why this is happening, I now understand that the soul created this situation for my learning and growth.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
6. I see some clues in my life - namely, repeating situations and other "coincidences" - indicating that there were many opportunities and healings in my life that I did not notice at the time. For example:
7. I am ready to accept that my mission, or “soul contract,” includes this experience - and there is certain reasons, which I don't need to know.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
8. My dissatisfaction with this situation sent me a message that I was depriving myself and X of love - which manifested itself in judgment, unrealistic expectations, wanting X to change, and thinking that X was imperfect. (List your expectations and actions that indicate you wanted X to change.)
9. I understand that I only get upset when someone resonates with those aspects of my being that I deny, repress and project onto other people.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
10. X___________ reflects what I need to love and accept about myself.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
11. X ____________ reflects my false perception of reality. By forgiving X, I heal and create for myself new reality.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
12. Now I understand that nothing X or other people do is either good or bad. I refuse any judgment.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
13. I free myself from the need to judge and be right. I WANT to see perfection in a situation as it is.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
14. Although I do not yet understand how and why this happens, I realize that we both received what each of us chose on a subconscious level. We danced the dance of healing together.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
15. I thank you, X___________, for agreeing to play your part in my healing. And I'm proud of myself for playing a role in your healing.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
16. I free my consciousness from all these feelings (listed in column 2b):
17. I thank you, X___________, for being willing to be a mirror of my false perceptions and for giving me the opportunity to exercise radical forgiveness and accept myself as I am.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional comments
18. I now realize that everything I experienced (the victim's story) was an accurate reflection of my unhealthy perception of the situation. I now understand that I can change this “reality” simply by being willing to see perfection in this situation. For example? (Try to reframe the situation in terms of radical forgiveness. These may be common words, they say, you know that everything is perfect, or a specific analysis of your situation, if you really see how perfection was manifested in it. Note: You won't usually see this.)
19. I completely forgive myself, ____________, and accept myself as loving, generous and creative personality. I free myself from any need to cling to negative emotions and ideas that carry limitations and dissatisfaction with oneself. I refuse to direct my energy into the past and break down all the barriers that have separated me from the love and abundance that I possess. I, the creator of my thoughts, feelings and life, regain the right to unconditionally love and support myself - as I am in all my splendor.			20. Now I SURRENDER MYSELF TO THE POWER OF A Higher Power, which I call God, the Higher Power, the Universal Mind, ____________. I am confident that this situation will continue to develop in a perfect manner, in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual law. I recognize my oneness with the Source and feel connected to it. I have returned to my true nature, which is Love, and now I am loving X again. I close my eyes to feel the love flowing through me. I am filled with joy that goes hand in hand with love.
21. A note to you, X ____________: “Today, having filled out this form, I forgive you with all my heart, X, because now I see that you did nothing wrong and everything that happened was subject to Divine order. I thank, accept and love you without any preconditions - just as you are.” Note: This does not mean that I condone his behavior or that I will not take action in my own defense. After all, we live in a human world.
22. Note to self: I acknowledge that I am a spiritual entity experiencing human experience. I love and approve of myself in all my human manifestations.

How can you sort out the situation, put your thoughts in order, discover a new vision of what is happening, or simply calm down the feelings raging in your soul? I love the radical forgiveness questionnaire, it really helps to cleanse yourself and get into the right mindset, remove everything that worries you, and most importantly, understand)

excerpt from K. Tipping’s book “Radical Forgiveness”

Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire

1a. date

1b. The object/person that caused your distress ______________________________

1st century The situation that caused my dissatisfaction. How I perceive it now:

(Jeff neglects me, giving all his love and attention to his daughter, Aoren, and completely ignores me. He blames me for everything and says that I'm just emotionally unstable. He makes me feel stupid and worthless It's heading towards divorce, and he's to blame. Jeff is forcing me to leave him).

In this column you talk about what upsets you. Define the situation. Don't hold back. Describe how you see the situation in this moment. Avoid self-censorship and any spiritual or psychological interpretations. You have to give credit to where you are, even if you understand that you are in the human world - the world of ego and illusion. The very awareness that you are experiencing an illusion and that you need to experience it is the first step towards liberation from this illusion.

Even if you have significantly raised your vibrations and spend a considerable part of your life in the world of Divine Truth, remember that it is easy to unbalance you and push you into the world of the ego, where you will feel like a victim with all the ensuing consequences. This experience is necessary for a person. We cannot always be joyful and peaceful and see perfection in every situation.

2a. Claims toX: I'm angry at you because;

(You destroyed our family life. You hurt and rejected me. Your behavior stinks a mile away, and I'm leaving you, you bastard!)

Formulate your complaints against X as sharply as possible, and specifically state what you accuse him of. This column is small in size, but try to express all your bitterness in those few words that fit here. If Factor X doesn't have a name, give it a name to write about it as a person. If the offender is no longer alive, write as if he were alive and sitting right in front of you. If you would like to express your concerns more fully, write a separate letter (see Chapter 24). This step allows you to address the offender directly. However, stay on topic. Do not discuss unrelated topics in your application or letter. In order to achieve your goal (radical forgiveness), you need to clarify exactly what is bothering you right now.

26. Your behavior makes me feel (identify your true emotions here):

(Deep resentment. I feel abandoned and betrayed. I feel very lonely and sad. You made me angry).

You need to give yourself the opportunity to fully experience your feelings. Don't censor or suppress them. Remember: we came into this world precisely to experience emotions - this is the essence of human existence. All emotions are good as long as we don't suppress them. Suppressed emotions create dangerous energy blocks in human bodies.

Try to identify exactly the emotions that you are experiencing, and not thoughts about own feelings. Are you angry, happy, sad, afraid? If you can't specifically identify your emotions, that's okay. Some people find it very difficult to differentiate between feelings. If you are one of these people, simply determine your overall emotional state regarding the situation.

If you want to feel emotions stronger or more clearly, take a tennis racket and beat off a pillow. When beating the pillow, try to make as much noise as possible. If own anger frightens you, ask someone to help you do this exercise. This person should encourage you to express anger (or other emotions) and make you feel safe. Another effective method free yourself from anger - scream into the pillow. As I have noted more than once, the more fully you feel the resentment, grief or fear that may be hidden behind the anger, the better.

3. I lovingly acknowledge and accept my feelings and no longer judge them.

Ready
Inclined
I doubt
Not ready

This important step will help you to some extent free yourself from the belief that feelings such as anger, vindictiveness, jealousy, envy and even grief are bad and should be denied in yourself. Whatever your emotions are, you must feel them exactly as they arise - for feelings are manifestations of your true being. Your soul wants to feel them to the fullest. Know that all emotions are perfect and stop judging yourself for having them.

Try to integrate and accept your feelings using the following three-step process:

1. Experience the feeling fully, and then identify it: what is it - anger, joy, sadness, fear?

2. Let feelings into your heart - just as they are. Love them. Accept them. Love them as part of yourself. Recognize their excellence. It is impossible to rise to the vibration of joy unless you accept and make peace with your feelings. Say the following affirmation: “I ask for support to love all my feelings as they are, embrace them with my heart and accept them as part of myself.” 3. Now feel love for yourself for having these feelings and understand that you chose to experience them in order to channel your energy towards healing.

4. I am the master of my feelings. No one can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.

This statement reminds us that no one can force us to feel anything. Our emotions belong to us. When a person feels, recognizes, accepts and loves them without any additional conditions, he thereby gains complete freedom keep them with you or let them go. Realizing this makes us stronger because it helps us understand that the source of the problem is not in outside world, but within ourselves. And yet, this awareness is our first step away from the vibrations of the victim archetype. Believing that other people or even situations can make us angry, happy, sad or afraid, we thereby give them all our power.

5. Although I do not know how or why this happens, I now understand that the soul created this situation for my learning and growth.

(Please check the appropriate box)

Ready
Inclined
I doubt
Not ready

This is perhaps the most important statement on the questionnaire. It is intended to reinforce your belief that life experience a person is created by his thoughts, feelings and ideas. Moreover, the soul organizes its reality in such a way as to promote its spiritual growth. Once you open yourself to this truth, the problem almost always disappears. This happens because problems do not actually exist - there is only a false perception of what is happening.

This statement encourages us to accept the possibility that the situation served specific purpose, and let go of the need to figure out how and why it happened.

Here people with an intellectual mindset usually have considerable difficulties. They require “proof” before believing anything. Therefore, they are willing to accept that a situation offers them the possibility of healing only if they find out “why” this is happening.

This is a dead end, because to find out how and why things happen is to try to gain insight into the mind of God. And at its current level spiritual development we cannot penetrate them yet. Therefore, one must abandon the desire to know “why” (especially since in any case this is a question characteristic of victims) and unconditionally accept the idea that God does not make mistakes and everything is subject to Divine order.

The significance of this step is that it helps you move away from the victim mentality and see the possibility that the person, fact or situation that is causing your problem exactly reflects a part of yourself that you have rejected and is now crying out for acceptance . At this stage you recognize that the Divine is within you, knowing part of your being, the soul - whatever you want to call it - has specifically orchestrated a situation so that you can learn, grow and get rid of your errors of perception or false beliefs.

And this step, like the previous one, helps you gain strength. Once a person understands that he himself created the situation, the power to change it awakens in him. He has a choice: either consider himself a victim of circumstances, or see in them an opportunity for learning, growth and conscious organization of his own life.

Don't judge yourself for creating this situation. Remember: it was created by your Divine principle. If you judge the Divine principle in yourself, then you judge God. Recognize that you are a wonderful creative Divine essence teaching herself lessons on spiritual path, - lessons that will ultimately lead you home. Once you can recognize this, you can trust your Divine, and it will do the rest.

6. I see some clues in my life - namely, repeating situations and other "coincidences" - that indicate that there were many opportunities for healing that I did not notice at the time. For example:

At this stage, we demonstrate that we have a natural human curiosity and an insatiable thirst to know why things happen the way they do. Above we recognized that we must give up our need to know everything. And yet, at this stage, we allow ourselves, for the sake of interest, to look at the most obvious clues that serve as confirmation that the situation is always, in some incomprehensible way, perfect. If we do not put such confirmations prerequisite accepting the perfection of the situation, our curiosity does no harm - but can shed light on the overall picture of what is happening. However, keep in mind that you may not see any clues that clarify the situation. It's OK. Just skip this section of the questionnaire and move on to the next one. This is NOT evidence that there is nothing behind the situation. The keys can be like this:

Recurring situations: The most obvious clue. An example of this would be when someone marries the same type of people over and over again. Or the case when a person chooses life partners who are similar to his mother or father. Another signal is the repetition of similar situations. Finally, if you continually encounter people who let you down or don't want to listen, this may also be a clue that you need to heal from these beliefs.
Hint numbers: It happens that the same situations are not just repeated, but follow a certain numerical pattern. For example, a person loses his job every two years or changes his partner every nine years, usually starts dating three in a row, gets sick at the same age as his parents, constantly stumbles upon the same number, etc. It will be easier for you to find these clues if you draw a time diagram like the one illustrated in my sister's case (end of first chapter). Put the dates of all events on the time line and pay attention to the intervals between them. Perhaps you will find some important pattern.
Body Keys: Your body is constantly giving you clues. Perhaps you are having problems on one side of your body over and over again? Or in areas associated with certain chakras, and therefore with the problems corresponding to these chakras? Books by Caroline Miss, Liz Burbo and Louise Hay will help you understand the meaning of the processes occurring in your body and read the healing message that they bring to you. Thus, in our work with cancer patients, we discovered that cancer always served as a loving invitation to change or to feel and release repressed emotional pain.
Coincidences and “strange cases”: The richest deposits of keys are hidden here. Whenever something seems strange, unusual, or contrary to probability, know that you have a clue in your hands. For example, it is quite strange that both girls who managed to achieve from men the love that Jill lacked were named Lauren (not a particularly common name in England). Not only that: they are both blonde, both blue-eyed, and both are the eldest of three children in the family. Jeff also behaved in a manner completely unusual for him. This person cannot be called cruel or insensitive. On the contrary, he is very kind, caring and gentle. I can't imagine Jeff being callous towards anyone. It was very strange to me that he behaved like that with Jill. Where previously we saw accidents and coincidences, we now tend to notice synchronicities orchestrated by the Spirit for our sake. greater good. This synchronicity is woven into our stories, and when we see it, we are able to understand: “My soul created this situation specifically for learning and growth.”

7. I am willing to accept that my mission, or “soul contract,” includes this experience - and there are certain reasons for this that I do not need to know.

(Please check the appropriate box)

Ready
Inclined
I doubt
Not ready

This statement should simply remind you of one of the tenets of radical forgiveness: we come into this world with a mission. In other words, we have made a “contract” with Spirit to do something, behave in a certain way, or transform certain energies. Whatever our mission may be, it is enough for us to know that every experience in this world is integral part the role we play. The story of Princess Diana illustrates this idea. note that the last part affirmation frees us from the need to know what our mission is.

8. My dissatisfaction with this situation served as a signal to me that I was depriving myself andX love - which manifested itself in condemnation, unjustified expectations, desire forX has changed, and in the opinion thatX is imperfect.

(List your expectations and actions that indicate you wanted X to change.)

I realize that I tried to prove Jeff wrong and blame him for my discomfort - even though I myself bear full responsibility for everything that happened. I judged him and believed that he had an obligation to make me happy. I demanded that he be different from what he is. I didn’t see the true state of things: he loves me.

When we feel that we are losing connection with a person, we cannot love him. When we judge a person (or ourselves) and say that he is wrong, we deprive him (or ourselves) of love. Even when we claim that a person is right, we still deprive him of love, because we make our love dependent on his being right.

Any attempt to change someone involves deprivation of love, since our desire to change a person implies that he is wrong in some way (and needs to change). Moreover, we are even capable of causing harm to a person in order to push him to change. After all, even acting with the best intentions, with our interference we can disrupt his spiritual lesson, hinder the mission, and slow down his development.

All this is much more subtle than we think. For example, if we see that a person is sick and send him unsolicited healing energy, we are thereby making a judgment that there is something wrong with the person and he should not be sick. Who gave us the right to make such a decision? Perhaps illness is exactly the experience that this person needs to spiritual growth. Naturally, if a person asks for healing, then this is a completely different matter and we must do everything in our power to fulfill his request. However, we must see perfection in this person and in everything that happens to him.

So, in this column you need to write about all the times when you wanted the person being forgiven to be different from what he is, and about what kind of changes you wanted from him. Think about the subtle judgments you make about this person that indicate your inability to accept him for who he is. Think about your behavior in which this condemnation was manifested. You may be surprised to discover that your well-intentioned desire for him to change for his own good is actually just judgment on your part.

If you want to know the truth, it is your condemnation that creates resistance to change in a person. Once you let go of judgment, the person will probably change. It's funny, isn't it?

9. I understand that I only get upset when someone resonates with those aspects of my being that I deny, repress and project onto other people.

(Please check the appropriate box)

Ready
Inclined
I doubt
Not ready

10. X reflects what I need to love and accept about myself.

(Please check the appropriate box)

Ready
Inclined
I doubt
Not ready

Here we recognize the fact that a person's behavior upsets us only when it serves as a reflection of those aspects of our being that we particularly dislike about ourselves and therefore project onto others.

If we open ourselves enough to consider the idea that a person is giving us a chance to accept and love the part of ourselves that we have cursed, and that in this regard this person is our angel of healing, then the work will be done successfully.

As we noted above, it is not at all necessary that the person being forgiven becomes sympathetic to you. Just recognize him as your mirror, thank his soul with this questionnaire and continue on your path in life.

There is no need to find out exactly what part of our being is reflected in the offender. It's usual anyway complex issue. Let it go and don't get caught up in the analysis. All the best way it works like that.

11.X reflects my false perception of reality. ForgivingX, I am healing and creating a new reality for myself.

(Please check the appropriate box)

Ready
Inclined
I doubt
Not ready

This statement reminds us that through our stories (which are false perceptions of reality) we create own life and reality. We always attract people who reflect our false perceptions, thereby providing us with the opportunity to heal from error and move towards truth.

12. Now I understand that no actionX or other people are neither bad nor good. I refuse any judgment.

This step contradicts everything that we have been told since childhood, teaching us to distinguish good from bad, good from evil.

After all, in the end, the whole world is divided in two by these borders. Yes, we know that the human world is just an illusion. Nevertheless, our human experience is inconceivable without distinguishing these polarities.

The realization that good and bad, good and evil do not differ from each other only when we look at them from the broadest spiritual perspective - from the world of Divine Truth will help us take this step. When looking from there we can go beyond our limits sensory perception And mental constructions and to see in everything that happens a Divine purpose and meaning. Once we look at the situation from this perspective, we see that there is nothing good or bad in it. She just is.

13. I free myself from the need to judge and be right. I WANT to see perfection in a situation as it is.

(Please check the appropriate box)

Ready
Inclined
I doubt
Not ready

This column points you to the perfection of the situation and tests your readiness to see this perfection. Although it is always difficult for a person to see the perfection or goodness in a phenomenon such as child abuse, he may have a desire to see that perfection, a desire to give up value judgments, and a desire to give up the need to be right. Although it will always be difficult for us to accept that both the abuser and the tormented somehow created this situation themselves in order to learn from it on a soul level, and that their mission is to transform the situation for the sake of all who are being bullied - we may be willing to consider this thought.

Obviously than stronger man involved in a situation, the more difficult it is for him to see perfection in it. However, seeing perfection does not always mean understanding it. We cannot know the reasons why everything happens this way and not otherwise. You just have to trust that everything is happening perfectly and for the highest good of everyone.

Consider your insatiable desire to be right. People make enormous investments in being right and from childhood are taught to defend it - which usually involves the need to make someone else wrong. We even intrinsic value we determine based on how often we are right. So it's no wonder we have such a hard time accepting that something simply is - and nothing is inherently right or wrong, good or bad. If on at this stage you are not yet able to give up judgment about something that seems terrible to you, just reconnect with your feelings (see column No. 3 of this questionnaire), feel them fully and admit that you are not yet ready to commit this step. However, be willing to let go of value judgments. Desire is always the key. Desire creates the energetic matrix of radical forgiveness. If the energetic shift occurs, everything else will follow.

14. Although I do not yet understand how and why this happens, I realize that we both received what each of us chose on a subconscious level. We danced the dance of healing together.

(Please check the appropriate box)

Ready
Inclined
I doubt
Not ready

This statement once again reminds us that we can become directly aware of our subconscious beliefs by looking at what is happening in our lives. At every moment of our life, exactly what we really want happens. At the level; souls, we ourselves chose all the situations and experiences of our life, and this choice cannot be wrong. The same applies to all participants in the drama. Remember: there are no torturers and victims - only players. Each participant in the situation gets exactly what he wants. We are all participating in a healing dance.

15. I thank you X for agreeing to play your part in my healing. And I'm proud of myself for playing a role in your healing.

(Please check the appropriate box)

Ready
Inclined
I doubt
Not ready

It is appropriate to thank X for working with you to create a situation that can help you become aware of the beliefs that guide your life. X deserves gratitude and blessings because it joint creativity and the resulting awareness gave you the opportunity to become familiar with your own beliefs, and therefore get rid of them. You can then consider what you want from life and revise your beliefs accordingly. X also has reason to feel towards you; gratitude - for the same reasons.

16. I free my consciousness from all these feelings (listed in column 26): Resentment, loneliness, sadness and anger, as well as the feeling that I have been abandoned and betrayed.

(Please check the appropriate box)

Ready
Inclined
I doubt
Not ready

Here you get the opportunity to declare that you are freeing yourself from the feelings listed in column 26. While all these emotions and thoughts remain in consciousness, they prevent you from realizing your false perception of reality, which became the cause of grief. If you are still worried about the situation strong feelings, which means your investment in a false perception of reality is in own beliefs, interpretations, value judgments etc. - are still too big. Don't rate this fact and don't try to change your investments. Just pay attention to this.

Your emotions in connection with the situation may return from time to time, but this also does not need to be emphasized. special significance. Just show the desire to feel them fully and let go at least for a moment, so that the light of awareness illuminates your being and allows you to see your false perception. And then you can again decide to look at the situation differently.

Liberation from emotions and corresponding thoughts plays important role in the process of forgiveness. As long as these thoughts remain valid, they energize the old belief system - the same one that created the reality that we are now trying to transform. By affirming that we have let go of both the feelings and the thoughts associated with them, we begin the healing process.

17. I thank you X, for your willingness to be a mirror of my false perceptions and for giving me the opportunity to practice radical forgiveness and accept myself for who I am.

This is another opportunity to feel grateful to X for coming into your life and agreeing to dance the healing dance with you.

18. I now realize that everything I experienced (the victim's story) was an accurate reflection of my unhealthy perception of the situation.

I now understand that I can change this “reality” simply by being willing to see perfection in this situation. For example? (Try to reframe the situation in terms of radical forgiveness. This could be something as general as saying that you know everything is perfect, or a specific analysis of your situation if you actually see perfection manifested in it. (Note: You will often do this you won't see it.)

Now I understand that Jeff was simply reflecting my false belief that I was not worthy of love. Thus, he gave me the opportunity to heal. Jeff loves me so much that he was willing to endure the discomfort of having to act this out for me. unpleasant situation. Now I see that I received everything I needed for my healing, and Jeff received everything he needed for his healing. In this regard, the situation was perfect, and it is evidence that my life is controlled by spirit, and also that I am loved.

If you can't form a new interpretation of your particular situation, that's not a problem. You can just in in general terms reframe the situation in terms of radical forgiveness, for example: “Everything that happened was nothing more than the implementation of the Divine plan. My Higher Self orchestrated this for my own spiritual growth, and everyone involved in the situation danced the healing dance with me, so nothing bad actually happened.” It is quite appropriate to write something like this in this column. On the other hand, if you have some ideas about how perfection manifested itself in your situation, so much the better.

What is USELESS is presenting an interpretation of what happened based on assumptions that originate in the human world - for example, explaining the reasons why things happened and making excuses for someone. By doing so, you can simply exchange one false belief system for another and even slip into pseudo-forgiveness. The new interpretation should help you see the perfection of what happened from a spiritual point of view and open to the gift that it brings to you. this situation. It is necessary that the new formulation suggests seeing in the situation the hand of the Lord, or the Divine mind, which great love works for your benefit.

Note:

You may have to fill out many questionnaires about one situation before you see perfection in it.

Be absolutely honest with yourself and always focus on your feelings. There are no right answers, no goals, no grades, no end product. The whole value of the process lies in itself - in the work you do. Any result is perfect. Resist the urge to edit and evaluate what you write. You can't write anything wrong.

19. I completely forgive myself, Jill, or, and accept myself as a loving, generous, and creative person. I free myself from any need to cling to negative emotions and ideas that carry limitations and dissatisfaction with myself. I refuse to direct my energy into the past and break down all the barriers that have separated me from the love and abundance that I possess. I, the creator of my thoughts, feelings and life, regain the right to unconditionally love and support myself - as I am, in all my splendor.

The significance of this statement cannot be overstated. Say it out loud and feel it with all your soul. Let these words echo within you. Self-judgment is the root of all problems, and even after we stop judging others and forgive them, we often continue to judge ourselves. It gets to the point where we judge ourselves for being self-judgmental.

We find it difficult to break this cycle primarily because the survival of the ego depends on our feelings of guilt about who we are. The better we become at forgiving others, the more the ego tries to make us feel guilty about who we are. This explains why we often have to overcome such enormous resistance when we walk the path of forgiveness. Every step along the way is a threat to the ego, and it fights fiercely for itself. The results of this eternal struggle appear when we, contrary to intention, do not fill out the radical forgiveness questionnaire, or when we find new reasons to project our guilt onto X and feel like a victim; or when we just can’t find time to meditate; or when we forget to do other things that are meant to remind us of who we really are. The closer we come to the possibility of getting rid of some factor that supports the feeling of guilt, the

the ego kicks and screams harder, trying with all its might to hinder the process of forgiveness.

So be prepared for this resistance and remember that once you overcome it, you will find peace and joy. And be prepared to go through the pain, depression, chaos and confusion that may befall you along the way.

20. Now I surrender myself to the power of a Higher Power, which I call God.

I am confident that this situation will continue to develop in a perfect manner, in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual law. I recognize my oneness with the Source and feel connected to it. I have returned to my true nature, which is Love, and now I am again related toX with love. I close my eyes to feel the love flowing through me. I am filled with joy that goes hand in hand with love.

This is the last step of the forgiveness process. However, you are not the one taking this step. You only declare your readiness to do it and provide To a Higher Power finish the process. Ask that the healing be completed by God's grace and that you and X return to your true nature, which is love, and to your Source, which is also Love.

This final step gives you the opportunity to let go of any words, thoughts, or concepts and actually feel the love. When you get to the bottom, all that's left is love. If you can truly connect to this source of love, then you are free; that means you're home. You don't need to do anything else.

So take a few minutes to meditate on this affirmation and open yourself to love. You may have to do this exercise many times before you feel it. But one day, when you least expect it, you will be enveloped in love and joy.

21. A note to you,X:

“Today, having filled out this form, I…. I realized how lucky I am to have you in my life. I knew from the very beginning that somehow we were destined to be together, and now I understood why. I forgive you with all my heart,X, because now I see that you did nothing wrong, and everything that happened is subject to Divine order. I thank, accept and love you without any preconditions - just as you are.”

You started your questionnaire by complaining about X. Since then, your energy has probably undergone a shift, even if that shift happened just a couple of seconds ago. How do you feel about X now? What would you like to tell X? Try to write these lines, turning off your consciousness and without evaluating your words. Let what is written surprise even you.

After you have thanked, accepted, and loved X unconditionally for who he is, acknowledge and forgive the projection that made you feel like X was deeply flawed. Now you can love X without judging, because you have realized that this is the only way to love a person. You now love X because you have realized that his way of being in the world is the only way of being possible for him. Spirit has decided that this is how X should be towards you.

22. Note to self.

I give myself credit for having the courage to go through this process and for having the strength to overcome the victim mentality. I acknowledge that I am a spiritual entity having a human experience. I love and approve of myself in all my human manifestations.

Remember: forgiveness always begins as a lie. When a person begins this process, there is no forgiveness in his heart, and he follows the path from feigned to genuine. So give yourself credit for doing it. But be gentle with yourself and let the forgiveness process take as long as you need to complete it. Please be patient. Thank yourself for having the courage to simply fill out the Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire, because in doing so, you have faced your demons. In order to do this work, a person has to show considerable courage, will and faith.

Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire is the main tool of Radical Forgiveness. This technique was created by Colin Tipping, an English psychotherapist who has worked with cancer patients for a long time. Tipping noticed that the cause of almost all cancers is emotions. Moreover, those emotions that were born, but were not released into the light, were suppressed and remained inside the person. Resentment, guilt and shame, suppressed aggression and hatred - all these feelings, if not expressed or released, begin to devour a person from the inside and often lead to the development of bad habits and cancer cells.
Radical forgiveness allows you to let go of these emotions and truly deeply forgive yourself and the people around you.
Instructions for the Questionnaire
1. First I tell my story. I am telling and revealing the situation that caused my dissatisfaction.
At this stage, it is important to give vent to all your angry feelings. Do not restrain yourself, but express yourself as harshly and aggressively as possible, so that these emotions rise from the bottom of the subconscious and come out. Only then can they be accepted and released.
2. At the second stage, it is important to feel your feelings. Accept them as they are. Recognize that these feelings - resentment, rage, anger, guilt, shame - are in me, I accept them and do not judge them.
To do this, you just need to answer the questionnaire or choose one of three options answer: yes, I don’t know yet, no.
At the same time, any answer option is correct. There is no need to analyze or tailor the answer. It is important to write what comes first. You do not have to agree with or believe what is written in the questionnaire. The process of forgiveness always begins as a pretence.
3. In the third stage, I get rid of my story. That is, I separate what really happened from what I thought up and made up.
And at this stage of filling out the Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire, I am just beginning to get rid of my far-fetched judgments, twisted thoughts, that is, from what actually did not exist, but which I myself gave birth to in my imagination.
4. At the fourth stage, I look at my situation from a different perspective. I see that it was given to me for my development and growth. And that this person against whom I hold grudges or anger is actually playing the role of my helper and healer. He helps me see and correct things in myself that I myself could not see and change without his participation.
At this stage, I begin to understand that everything that happened was something I chose for myself to go through a certain experience. And the people around me patiently help me with this. That is, in essence, nothing bad happened and there is simply nothing to forgive.
5. And at the last fifth stage, I already consolidate the changes that have occurred. I accept a new understanding of reality and begin to live in accordance with this new knowledge. I thank everyone who was involved in this situation: and Higher intelligence, and my “offender”, and myself.

RADICAL FORGIVENESS

QUESTIONNAIRE. Part 1

Object/person that caused my distress ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1. The situation that caused my dissatisfaction. How do I perceive her now? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2 a. Claims to X: I am angry with you because:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2 b. Your behavior makes me feel the following (define your true emotions here):________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

RADICAL FORGIVENESS

QUESTIONNAIRE. PART 2

	Ready	Sklo- nen	Doubt- I'm vain	Not ready	Explanations
3. I lovingly acknowledge and accept my feelings and no longer judge them.
4. I am the master of my feelings. No one can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.
5. Although I do not know how or why this is happening, I agree that this situation is created for my learning and growth.
6. I see some keys in my life, namely, repeating ones. situations and other “coincidences” that indicate that in my life there were many healing possibilities that I did not notice at the time, for example:________________________________________________
7. I am ready to admit that my mission includes this experience, and there are certain reasons for this that I do not need to know right now.
8. My dissatisfaction with this situation served as a signal to me that I was depriving myself and X of love, which manifested itself in judgment, unjustified expectations, and a desire for X to change. And in the belief that X is imperfect (list your expectations and actions that indicate that you wanted X to change): ________________________________________________________________
9. I understand that I only get upset when someone resonates with those aspects of my being that I deny, repress and project onto other people.
10. X______ reflects what I need to love and accept about myself.
11. X______________ reflects my false perception of reality. By forgiving X, I heal and create a new reality for myself.
12. Now I understand that no actions of X or other people are either bad or good. I refuse any judgment.
13. I free myself from the need to judge and be right. I WANT to see perfection in a situation as it is.
14. Although I do not yet understand how and why this happens, I realize that we both received what each of us chose on a subconscious level. We danced the dance of healing together.
15. I thank you, X________, for agreeing to play your part in my healing. And I'm proud of myself for playing a role in your healing.
16. I free my consciousness from all these feelings (listed in paragraph 2 b)
17. I thank you, X_______, for being willing to be a mirror of my false perceptions and for giving me the opportunity to practice radical forgiveness and accept myself for who I am.
18. I now realize that everything I experienced (the victim's story) was an accurate reflection of my unhealthy perception of the situation. I now understand that I can change this “reality” simply by being willing to see perfection in this situation. For example:_______________________________________________________
19. I fully forgive myself and accept myself as a loving, generous and creative person. I free myself from any need to cling to negative emotions and ideas that carry limitations and dissatisfaction with myself. I refuse to direct my energy into the past and break down all the barriers that have separated me from the love and abundance that I possess. I am the creator of my thoughts, feelings and life, I am regaining the right to unconditionally love and support myself as I am in all my splendor.
20. I now SURRENDER MYSELF TO the POWER of a Higher Power, which I call God, the Universal Mind, _______________, I am confident that this situation will continue to develop in a perfect manner, in accordance with spiritual law. I recognize my oneness with the Source and feel connected to it. I returned to my true nature, which is love. Now I treat X__________ with love again. I close my eyes to feel the love flow through me. I am filled with joy that goes hand in hand with love.

RADICAL FORGIVENESS

QUESTIONNAIRE. Part 3.

21. A note to you, X__________________________: Today, after filling out this form, I _______________________________________________________________

I forgive you with all my heart X, because now I see that you did nothing wrong and that’s all
what happened is subject to Divine order. I thank, accept and love you without any preconditions - just as you are (note: this does not mean that I condone
your behavior or I’m not going to take action in my defense).

22. Note to self: ________________________________________________________________________________

I acknowledge that I am a spiritual entity having a human experience.
I love and approve of myself in all my human manifestations.

I would like to introduce you to the RADICAL FORGIVENESS QUESTIONNAIRE, with the help of which you can independently work through your negatives, grievances, and blocks. The problem that is causing you to fill out the Questionnaire will gradually be resolved in the best way for you.

If you learn to perceive life’s collisions and annoying people around you as an invaluable lesson, as an opportunity to improve your life, you will open the door to a new reality. “...Whenever someone upsets you or gives you negative emotions, that person is simply giving you the opportunity to heal. And where before you might have been inclined to get caught up in your drama, now you just need to pick up a form and begin the process of forgiveness. Fill out questionnaire after questionnaire until the energy that has accumulated around the situation, person or incident dissipates. This may take several days or several months. Although it is possible that one questionnaire will be enough. It all depends on what issues the situation resonates with and what emotions it awakens in you.” (Colin K. Tipping)

Instructions for use

1) You should not simultaneously fill out Questionnaires one after another about many people with whom you would like to change relationships and whom you would like to forgive.

2) Focus on one problem at a time, without trying to work through all the biggest problems in your past at once.

3) The questionnaire does not require you to make painful excavations from the past, with the intention of resolving past traumatic situations. The fact is that the person who is causing you grief or trouble now represents EVERYONE who has caused you similar grief in the past.

4) Any situation that upsets you is worth working through with a questionnaire. After all, today’s seemingly not very serious problem may actually be masking serious subconscious blocks. Remember that by not taking small problems into account, you allow them to easily grow into big ones.

5) Initially test the Questionnaire on questions that are simple and do not carry a particularly serious emotional load.

6) Remember that true forgiveness implies your complete rejection of the consciousness of the victim.

RADICAL FORGIVENESS QUESTIONNAIRE

Date of: ______________

An object (X)– the reason for your disappointment_______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

N°	Survey question	Your Answer
1	The situation that caused my dissatisfaction. How do I perceive her now?
2-a	Claims to X: I'm angry with you because:
2-b	Your behavior makes me feel the following (identify your true emotions here):
3	I lovingly acknowledge and accept my feelings and no longer judge them.
4	I am the master (mistress) of my feelings. No one can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
5	Although I do not know how or why this happens, I now understand that the soul created this situation for my learning and personal growth.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
6	I see some clues in my life - namely, repeating situations and other "coincidences" - that indicate that there were many healing opportunities in my life that I did not notice at the time. For example:
7	I am willing to admit that my mission, or “soul contact,” includes this experience - and there are certain reasons for this that I do not need to know.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
8	My dissatisfaction with this situation served as a signal to me that I had deprived myself of love and X - which manifested itself in condemnation, unjustified expectations, the desire for X changed, and in the opinion that X imperfect. (List your expectations and actions that indicate what you want to happen X changed.)
9	I understand that I only get upset when someone resonates with those aspects of my being that I deny, repress and project onto other people.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
10	X ____________ reflects what I need to love and accept about myself.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
11	X ____________ reflects my false perception of reality. Forgiving X, I am healing and creating a new reality for myself.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
12	Now I understand that no action X or other people are neither bad nor good. I refuse any judgment.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
13	I free myself from the need to judge and be right. I WANT to see perfection in a situation as it is.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
14	Although I do not yet understand how and why this happens, I realize that we both (collectively) received what each of us chose on a subconscious level. We danced the dance of healing together.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
15	I thank you, X __________, for agreeing to play your role in my healing. And I'm proud of myself for playing a role in your healing.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
16	I free my consciousness from all these feelings (feelings listed in column 2-b):
17	I thank you, X __________, the willingness to become a mirror of my false perceptions and for the fact that you gave me the opportunity to show radical forgiveness and accept myself as I am.	- ready - doubtful - not ready - inclined
18	I now realize that everything I experienced (the victim's story) was an accurate reflection of my unhealthy perception of the situation. I now understand that I can change this “reality” simply by being willing to see perfection in this situation. For example? (Try to reframe the situation in terms of radical forgiveness. This can be a general statement, like you know everything is perfect, or a specific analysis of your situation, if you really see how perfection was manifested in it. Note: usually you will not see this. )
19	I completely forgive myself, ______, and accept myself as a loving, generous, creative person. I free myself from any need to cling to negative emotions and ideas that carry limitations and dissatisfaction with myself. I refuse to direct my energy into the past and break down all the barriers that have separated me from the love and abundance that I possess. I am the creator of my thoughts, feelings and life, I regain the right to unconditionally love and support myself as I am in all my splendor.
20	Now I surrender myself to the power of the Higher Power, which I call God, the Higher Power, the Universal Mind, ___________. I am confident that this situation will continue to develop in a perfect manner, in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual laws. I recognize my oneness with the Source and feel connected to it. I have returned to my true nature, which is Love, and now I am loving X again. I close my eyes to feel the love flowing through me. I am filled with joy that goes hand in hand with love.
21	A note to you, X __________: Today, having filled out this form, I _______I forgive you X with all my heart, because now I see that you did not do anything bad to me and everything that happened is subject to the Divine order. I thank, accept and love you without any preconditions - just as you are. (Note: This does not mean that I condone his behavior or that I do not intend to take action in my defense. After all, we live in a human world.) (write the text of the note in the right field)
22	Note to self: _________I acknowledge that I am a spiritual entity having a human experience. I love and approve of myself in all my human manifestations

(commentary on "Radical Forgiveness" by Colleen K. Tipping)

1. The situation that caused my dissatisfaction. How I perceive it now:

(Jeff neglects me, giving all his love and attention to his daughter, Lauren, and completely ignores me. He blames me for everything and says that I'm just emotionally unstable. He makes me feel stupid and worthless It's heading towards divorce, and he's to blame. Jeff is forcing me to leave him).

In this column you talk about what upsets you. Define the situation. Don't hold back. Describe how you see the situation at the moment. Avoid self-censorship and any spiritual or psychological interpretations. You have to give credit to where you are, even if you understand that you are in the human world - the world of ego and illusion. The very awareness that you are experiencing an illusion and that you need to experience it is the first step towards liberation from this illusion.

2a. Claims against X: I am angry with you because;

(You ruined our family life. You hurt and rejected me. Your behavior stinks a mile away, and I'm leaving you, you bastard!)

26. Your behavior makes me feel (identify your true emotions here):

(Deeply resentful. I feel abandoned and betrayed. I feel very lonely and sad. You made me angry.)

Try to identify the emotions you are experiencing, rather than thoughts about your own feelings. Are you angry, happy, sad, afraid? If you can't specifically identify your emotions, that's okay. Some people find it very difficult to differentiate between feelings. If you are one of these people, simply determine your overall emotional state regarding the situation.

If you want to feel emotions stronger or more clearly, take a tennis racket and beat off a pillow. When beating the pillow, try to make as much noise as possible. If your own anger scares you, ask someone to help you do this exercise. This person should encourage you to express anger (or other emotions) and make you feel safe. Another effective way to release anger is to scream into a pillow. As I have noted more than once, the more fully you feel the resentment, grief or fear that may be hidden behind the anger, the better.

3. I lovingly acknowledge and accept my feelings and no longer judge them.

· Inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

This important step will help you somewhat free yourself from the belief that feelings such as anger, vindictiveness, jealousy, envy and even bitterness are bad and should be denied in yourself. Whatever your emotions are, you must feel them exactly as they arise - for feelings are manifestations of your true being. Your soul wants to feel them to the fullest. Know that all emotions are perfect and stop judging yourself for having them.

Try to integrate and accept your feelings using the following three-step process:

1. Experience the feeling fully, and then identify it: what is it - anger, joy, sadness, fear?

4. I am the master of my feelings. No one can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.

This statement reminds us that no one can force us to feel anything. Our emotions belong to us. When a person feels, recognizes, accepts and loves them without any additional conditions, he thereby gains complete freedom to keep them with himself or let them go. Awareness of this makes us stronger because it helps us understand that the source of the problem is not in the external world, but within ourselves. And yet, this awareness is our first step away from the vibrations of the victim archetype. Believing that other people or even situations can make us angry, happy, sad or afraid, we thereby give them all our power.

5. Although I do not know how or why this happens, I now understand that the soul created this situation for my learning and growth. (Please check the appropriate box)

· Inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

This is perhaps the most important statement on the questionnaire. It is intended to strengthen you in the belief that a person's life experiences are created by his thoughts, feelings and ideas. Moreover, the soul organizes its reality in such a way as to promote its spiritual growth. Once you open yourself to this truth, the problem almost always disappears. This happens because problems do not actually exist - there is only a false perception of what is happening.

This statement encourages us to accept the possibility that the situation served a purpose and to let go of the need to figure out how and why it happened.

This is a dead end, because to find out how and why things happen is to try to gain insight into the mind of God. And at the current level of our spiritual development, we still cannot penetrate them. Therefore, one must abandon the desire to know “why” (especially since in any case this is a question characteristic of victims) and unconditionally accept the idea that God does not make mistakes and everything is subject to Divine order.

The significance of this step is that it helps you move away from the victim mentality and see the possibility that the person, fact or situation that is causing your problem exactly reflects a part of yourself that you have rejected and is now crying out for acceptance . At this stage, you recognize that the Divine within you, the knowing part of your being, the soul - whatever you call it - has specifically orchestrated the situation so that you can learn, grow and get rid of your errors of perception or false beliefs.

Don't judge yourself for creating this situation. Remember: it was created by your Divine principle. If you judge the Divine principle in yourself, then you judge God. Recognize that you are a beautiful, creative Divine being teaching yourself lessons on the spiritual path - lessons that will ultimately lead you home. Once you can recognize this, you can trust your Divine, and it will do the rest.

6. I see some clues in my life - namely, repeating situations and other "coincidences" - that indicate that there were many opportunities for healing that I did not notice at the time. For example:

At this stage, we demonstrate that we have a natural human curiosity and an insatiable thirst to know why things happen the way they do. Above we recognized that we must give up our need to know everything. And yet, at this stage, we allow ourselves, for the sake of interest, to look at the most obvious clues that serve as confirmation that the situation is always, in some incomprehensible way, perfect. If we do not make such confirmation a prerequisite for accepting the perfection of the situation, our curiosity does no harm - but it can shed light on the overall picture of what is happening. However, keep in mind that you may not see any clues that clarify the situation. It's OK. Just skip this section of the questionnaire and move on to the next one. This is NOT evidence that there is nothing behind the situation. The keys can be like this:

· Recurring situations: The most obvious clue. An example of this would be when someone marries the same type of people over and over again. Or the case when a person chooses life partners who are similar to his mother or father. Another signal is the repetition of similar situations. Finally, if you continually encounter people who let you down or don't want to listen, this may also be a clue that you need to heal from these beliefs.

· Hint numbers: It happens that the same situations are not just repeated, but follow a certain numerical pattern. For example, a person loses his job every two years or changes his partner every nine years, usually starts dating three in a row, gets sick at the same age as his parents, constantly stumbles upon the same number, etc. It will be easier for you to find these clues if you draw a time diagram like the one illustrated in my sister's case (end of first chapter). Put the dates of all events on the time line and pay attention to the intervals between them. Perhaps you will find some important pattern.

· Body Keys: Your body is constantly giving you clues. Perhaps you are having problems on one side of your body over and over again? Or in areas associated with certain chakras, and therefore with the problems corresponding to these chakras? Books by Caroline Miss, Liz Burbo and Louise Hay will help you understand the meaning of the processes occurring in your body and read the healing message that they bring to you. Thus, in our work with cancer patients, we discovered that cancer always served as a loving invitation to change or to feel and release repressed emotional pain.

· Coincidences and “strange cases”: The richest deposits of keys are hidden here. Whenever something seems strange, unusual, or contrary to probability, know that you have a clue in your hands. For example, it is quite strange that both girls who managed to achieve from men the love that Jill lacked were named Lauren (not a particularly common name in England). Not only that: they are both blonde, both blue-eyed, and both are the eldest of three children in the family. Jeff also behaved in a manner completely unusual for him. This person cannot be called cruel or insensitive. On the contrary, he is very kind, caring and gentle. I can't imagine Jeff being callous towards anyone. It was very strange to me that he behaved like that with Jill. Where we once saw randomness and coincidence, we now tend to see synchronicities orchestrated by the Spirit for our highest good. This synchronicity is woven into our stories, and when we see it, we are able to understand: “My soul created this situation specifically for learning and growth.”

7. I am willing to accept that my mission, or “soul contract,” includes this experience - and there are certain reasons for this that I do not need to know. (Please check the appropriate box)

· Inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

This statement should simply remind you of one of the tenets of radical forgiveness: we come into this world with a mission. In other words, we have made a “contract” with Spirit to do something, behave in a certain way, or transform certain energies. Whatever our mission, it is enough for us to know that every experience in this world is an integral part of the role we play. The story of Princess Diana illustrates this idea. Note that the last part of the statement frees us from the need to know what our mission is.

8. My dissatisfaction with this situation sent me a message that I was depriving myself and X of love - which manifested itself in judgment, unrealistic expectations, wanting X to change, and thinking that X was imperfect. (List your expectations and actions that indicate you wanted X to change.)

All this is much more subtle than we think. For example, if we see that a person is sick and send him unsolicited healing energy, we are thereby making a judgment that there is something wrong with the person and he should not be sick. Who gave us the right to make such a decision? Perhaps illness is exactly the experience that this person needs for spiritual growth. Naturally, if a person asks for healing, then this is a completely different matter and we must do everything in our power to fulfill his request. However, we must see perfection in this person and in everything that happens to him.

If you want to know the truth, it is your condemnation that creates resistance to change in a person. Once you let go of judgment, the person will probably change. It's funny, isn't it?

9. I understand that I only get upset when someone resonates with those aspects of my being that I deny, repress and project onto other people. (Please check the appropriate box)

· Inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

10. X reflects what I need to love and accept about myself.(Please check the appropriate box)

· Inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

There is no need to find out exactly what part of our being is reflected in the offender. Either way, this is usually a difficult question. Let it go and don't get caught up in the analysis. Everything works well the way it is.

11.X reflects my false perception of reality. By forgiving X, I heal and create a new reality for myself. (Please check the appropriate box)

· Inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

This statement reminds us that through our stories (which are false perceptions of reality) we create our own life and reality. We always attract people who reflect our false perceptions, thereby providing us with the opportunity to heal from error and move towards truth.

12. Now I understand that nothing X or other people do is either good or bad. I refuse any judgment.

This step contradicts everything that we have been told since childhood, teaching us to distinguish good from bad, good from evil.

The realization that good and bad, good and evil do not differ from each other only when we look at them from the broadest spiritual perspective - from the world of Divine Truth will help us take this step. When we look from there, we can go beyond our sensory perceptions and mental constructs and see the Divine purpose and meaning in everything that happens. Once we look at the situation from this perspective, we see that there is nothing good or bad in it. She just is.

13. I free myself from the need to judge and be right. I WANT to see perfection in a situation as it is.(Please check the appropriate box)

· Inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

Obviously, the more involved a person is in a situation, the more difficult it is for him to see perfection in it. However, seeing perfection does not always mean understanding it. We cannot know the reasons why everything happens this way and not otherwise. You just have to trust that everything is happening perfectly and for the highest good of everyone.

Consider your insatiable desire to be right. People make enormous investments in being right and from childhood are taught to defend it - which usually involves the need to make someone else wrong. We even determine our own worth based on how often we are right. So it's no wonder we have such a hard time accepting that something simply is - and nothing is inherently right or wrong, good or bad. If at this stage you are still unable to give up judgment about something that seems terrible to you, simply reconnect with your feelings (see column No. 3 of this questionnaire), feel them fully and admit that for now are not ready to take this step. However, be willing to let go of value judgments. Desire is always the key. Desire creates the energetic matrix of radical forgiveness. If the energetic shift occurs, everything else will follow.

14. Although I do not yet understand how and why this happens, I realize that we both received what each of us chose on a subconscious level. We danced the dance of healing together. (Please check the appropriate box)

· Inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

15. I thank you, X, for agreeing to play your part in my healing. And I'm proud of myself for playing a role in your healing. (Please check the appropriate box)

· Inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

It is appropriate to thank X for working with you to create a situation that can help you become aware of the beliefs that guide your life. X deserves gratitude and blessings because this co-creation and the resulting awareness has given you the opportunity to become familiar with your own beliefs, and therefore to let go of them. You can then consider what you want from life and revise your beliefs accordingly. X also has reason to feel towards you; gratitude - for the same reasons.

16. I free my consciousness from all these feelings (listed in column 26): Resentment, loneliness, sadness and anger, as well as the feeling that I have been abandoned and betrayed. (Please check the appropriate box)

· Inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

Here you get the opportunity to declare that you are freeing yourself from the feelings listed in column 26. While all these emotions and thoughts remain in consciousness, they prevent you from realizing your false perception of reality, which became the cause of grief. If you still have strong feelings about the situation, then your investment in a false perception of reality - in your own beliefs, interpretations, value judgments, etc. - is still too great. Do not evaluate this fact and do not try to change your investments. Just pay attention to this.

Your emotions in connection with the situation may return from time to time, but this also does not need to be given much importance. Just show the desire to feel them fully and let go at least for a moment, so that the light of awareness illuminates your being and allows you to see your false perception. And then you can again decide to look at the situation differently.

Releasing emotions and corresponding thoughts plays an important role in the process of forgiveness. As long as these thoughts remain valid, they energize the old belief system - the same one that created the reality that we are now trying to transform. By affirming that we have let go of both the feelings and the thoughts associated with them, we begin the healing process.

17. I thank you, X, for being willing to be a mirror of my false perceptions and for giving me the opportunity to practice radical forgiveness and accept myself for who I am.

This is another opportunity to feel grateful to X for coming into your life and agreeing to dance the healing dance with you.

18. I now realize that everything I experienced (the victim's story) was an accurate reflection of my unhealthy perception of the situation.

Now I understand that Jeff was simply reflecting my false belief that I was not worthy of love. Thus, he gave me the opportunity to heal. Jeff loves me so much that he was willing to endure the discomfort of having to act out this unpleasant situation for me. Now I see that I received everything I needed for my healing, and Jeff received everything he needed for his healing. In this regard, the situation was perfect, and it is evidence that my life is controlled by spirit, and also that I am loved.

If you can't form a new interpretation of your particular situation, that's not a problem. You can simply restate the situation in general terms from the point of view of radical forgiveness, for example: “Everything that happened was nothing more than the implementation of the Divine plan. My Higher Self orchestrated this for my own spiritual growth, and everyone involved in the situation danced the healing dance with me, so nothing bad actually happened.” It is quite appropriate to write something like this in this column. On the other hand, if you have some ideas about how perfection manifested itself in your situation, so much the better.

What is USELESS is presenting an interpretation of what happened based on assumptions that originate in the human world - for example, explaining the reasons why things happened and making excuses for someone. By doing so, you can simply exchange one false belief system for another and even slip into pseudo-forgiveness. The new interpretation should help you see the perfection of what happened from a spiritual perspective and open to the gift that this situation brings to you. It is necessary that the new formulation invites you to see the hand of the Lord in the situation, or the Divine mind, which works with great love for your good.

Note:

You may have to fill out many questionnaires about one situation before you see perfection in it.

The significance of this statement cannot be overstated. Say it out loud and feel it with all your soul. Let these words echo inside you. Self-judgment is the root of all problems, and even after we stop judging others and forgive them, we often continue to judge ourselves. It gets to the point where we judge ourselves for being self-judgmental.

We find it difficult to break this cycle primarily because the survival of the ego depends on our feelings of guilt about who we are. The better we become at forgiving others, the more the ego tries to make us feel guilty about who we are. This explains why we often have to overcome such enormous resistance when we walk the path of forgiveness. Every step along the way is a threat to the ego, and it fights fiercely for itself. The results of this eternal struggle appear when we, contrary to intention, do not fill out the radical forgiveness questionnaire, or when we find new reasons to project our guilt onto X and feel like a victim; or when we just can’t find time to meditate; or when we forget to do other things that are meant to remind us of who we really are. The closer we come to being able to get rid of some factor that supports the feeling of guilt, the more the ego kicks and screams, trying with all its might to hinder the process of forgiveness.

20. Now I surrender myself to the power of a Higher Power, which I call God.

I am confident that this situation will continue to develop in a perfect manner, in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual law. I recognize my oneness with the Source and feel connected to it. I have returned to my true nature, which is Love, and now I am loving X again. I close my eyes to feel the love flowing through me. I am filled with joy that goes hand in hand with love.

This is the last step of the forgiveness process. However, you are not the one taking this step. You simply declare your willingness to do it and leave it to your Higher Power to complete the process. Ask that the healing be completed by God's grace and that you and X return to your true nature, which is love, and to your Source, which is also Love.

21. Note to you, X:

“Today, after filling out this form, I... I realized how lucky I am to have met you in my life. I knew from the very beginning that somehow we were destined to be together, and now I understood why. I forgive you with all my heart, X, because now I see that you did nothing wrong, and everything that happened is subject to Divine order. I thank, accept and love you without any preconditions - just as you are.”

22. Note to self.

K. Tipping

excerpts from K. Tipping’s book “Radical Forgiveness”