What is special about a person. Special people

Who you are? What makes you special? For some people, thinking about this can be a significant source of anxiety and stress. But being special does not mean being exceptional, superior to others in some abilities or skills. To be special is to be respected and loved. If you want to stand out from the crowd and be recognized by others, develop your inner world. Then you can stand out, become unforgettable, please others and yourself.

Steps

Become an individual

Find yourself. It’s unlikely that anyone will explain to you how to become special. You need to find yours inner rod, work on your essence. Whatever you call it - soul, essence, habits - be prepared to make adjustments to your lifestyle. It takes effort. What does it mean to you to be yourself? Who you are? What will help you improve? These questions concern people throughout their lives. Always remember your inner core:

When do you feel out of place? What makes you feel comfortable?
Describe your ideal day. How does it usually go?
What is it about your work or behavior that deserves praise? What do you do well?
Describe the last disagreement you had with someone? How did you behave?
What would you change about yourself? Why?

Notice special traits in others. What does it mean to be special? Look at the people you consider ideal. Try to determine what qualities make them special. Which people are special to you: those who completely devote themselves to work, or those who endure adversity with steadfastness. Each person will have their own opinion on this matter, so think about what it is that you, and not others, respect about your grandfather, close friend or a loved one.
- Try to stay away from celebrities, don't compare yourself to them. Look up to the people you know in real life. Of course, Brad Pitt can be considered special because he is rich and handsome, but you will agree that it is very difficult to define him true face. We can only appreciate him as a public figure, as a movie star, and not as an ordinary person.
- Power doesn't make someone special. If someone has power over you, is more successful or famous than you, this does not mean that you should imitate him.
Take off your masks. We all wear them. At work you wear a professional mask, when you meet someone after work, you wear a mask to get to know each other. With friends you wear one mask, with family you wear another. If you're working on being real, masks aren't necessary. If you want to be special, look what's behind the mask:

Keep your ego in check. If you want to be special, you probably want others to notice you. We want to be respected, seen as successful, happy people that you can envy. But being special does not mean being exceptional in everything. It doesn't mean being the best tennis player, or the best published author, or the richest lawyer in the firm. It means much more than the above, it is a deep inner essence and integrity. Be happy with yourself, but don't overstep your boundaries.
- Psychologists often talk about internal and external locus of control. People with internal locus control they receive satisfaction from their actions and work. People with external locus control need the approval of others to be satisfied. What do you need?
Surprise yourself. Truly special people are constantly changing, growing as individuals, constantly developing their authentic inner selves. If you want to stand out, don't stop developing.
- Constantly acquire new skills, read new books, solve difficulties that arise along the way. You are never too old, too smart or too experienced to gain knowledge and improve yourself. You can never be too special, the process is never ending.
Do not give up
1. Follow the 10,000 hour rule. There are many brilliant and talented people, but that doesn't make them special. Natural talent is very important, but it takes work to develop it so that this talent becomes something truly special. Work on yours natural talents and abilities until you become perfect.
  - Author Malcolm Gladwell explains the 10,000 Hour Rule in his book Geniuses and Outsiders. He writes that people who succeed at something have worked hard for it. It takes approximately 10,000 hours to perfect a craft, talent, or other ability.
  - Focus on your development and be willing to work for it. The first project, the first novel you write, is unlikely to turn out to be brilliant. Believe me, this is normal. Keep working. Keep getting better.
2. Be a lion or lioness. Special people don't wait for good things to happen to them, they hunt for good things themselves. They stalk a target like prey and do whatever it takes to get it. Special people have claws. Determine what gives you a greater sense of contentment and what can improve your situation. Think about what actions you need to take to achieve your goal. Strive for your goal. Remember, the one who walks will master the road.
  - Make less excuses. Ordinary people As a rule, they spend a lot of time talking about “what will happen if...” or “before...”. Try to avoid such phrases.
3. Avoid criticism. Be who you are. Be a free person, be real, be who you really are, not who you want to be in the eyes of other people. Try to open up to other people in new ways. If you tend to keep your opinions to yourself because you are naturally shy, learn to speak up when necessary.
  - Don't be the person who always agrees with everything. If you disagree with someone, express your opinion. People respect those who speak their mind and are not afraid to do so. If you are surrounded by people who are only trying to flatter their pride, believe me, there is nothing special about them.
  - Avoiding criticism and censorship does not mean allowing every thought that appears in your head to be voiced. Being special doesn't mean being weird, cruel or rude. It simply means that you must stop remaining silent when you need to speak or act. If you need to speak, speak. If you need to think, think.
4. Surround yourself with new people. Try to find friends with whom you feel comfortable. Special people are willing to make efforts to understand every person. Learn to listen.
  - If you are a young person, find a job that gives you valuable experience and useful skills. If you are in school or college, find a part-time job and do it with seriousness.
  - Associate with people who disagree with your religious, political, or moral views. Don't try to convince these people that they are wrong, try to understand them. Open your mind.
5. Develop your own style. Feel like you're special and let it reflect in your appearance. Buy clothes that not only look good on you, but that you also like. Take care of yourself, which will make you feel confident. If you're comfortable in cowboy boots and a mohawk, great. If you feel comfortable with dreadlocks on your head, great. You don't have to be a model or compete with super fashion models to be special. As a rule, they do not have much style. Wear what you feel confident and comfortable in.
Be memorable
1. Praise others.
2. Don't expect results on the first day. If you want to be special a unique person, you will have to work hard on yourself.
3. When you are with friends or loved ones, be happy and make other people happy. Your friends certainly want to be happy.
4. When you smile at someone and they don't smile back, ask that person what's wrong. Believe me, conversation will help you sort things out!
- If you offer help and the person refuses it, wait until the person asks you for help. This will save you time and effort. Help those who really want it.
- Think before you speak or act. Sometimes you may want to help another person, but perhaps that person wants to do it themselves. Don't insist on your own, otherwise you will only ruin the relationship.
- Avoid communicating with people who are always complaining and dissatisfied with something! You can hardly be special if you have negative image thinking.

Municipal institution additional education

"Children's Ecological and Biological Center in Cheremkhovo"

"I affirm"

And about. Director of MUDO DEBC

Matveeva V.V.

"Agreed"

Deputy UMR

Tolstikova S.N.

MS protocol No. ___

"__" __________20__

Methodological development

extracurricular activities with training elements

« Special people among us »

methodologist MUDO DEBC

Cheremkhovo, 2015

Content

Introduction…………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ...3

Methodological materials……………………………………………………………………….4

Progress of the lesson………………………………………………………………………………………………...5-9

Conclusion…………………………………………………………………………………...10

Literature…………………………………………………………………………………11

Appendix 1 “Questionnaire” Your attitude to people with disabilities»»………………………………………………………………………………12Appendix 2 “Map of props and tasks for playing roles” special person"………………………………………………………………………………………..14

Introduction

Disability is not just a problem individual person, but also of society as a whole.Russia is one of the countries with the most at a fast pace growth in the number of disabled people, while in Russia people with disabilities until recently were in a situation social isolation characterized by complete rejection and discrimination of this group of people.IN Lately In Russia, processes are actively developing aimed at developing tolerance in society and recognizing the equal rights of people with disabilities - without discrimination and restrictions. Information awareness of schoolchildren about people with disabilities is very relevant, since education is the first step in developing an adequate respectful attitude towards people with disabilities and familiarizing them with the lives of people with disabilities.

Extracurricular activity"Special people among us"intended for students in grades 7-9, aimed at developing empathy and tolerant attitude to people with disabilities.

Target: change negative attitude and stereotypes towards people with disabilities

Tasks:

1. Formation positive attitude to people with disabilities

2. Development of communication and group work skills

3. Fostering empathy and tolerant attitude towards people with disabilities.

During the lesson, students will learn about the existing physical, social and psychological barriers that prevent people with disabilities from being fully included in our society. The lesson contains elements of training and role playing game, allowsshow students that disability is not a reason for rejecting a person, and that a person with a disability should have equal rights and opportunities on a par with healthy people.The work takes place in a group of 10-12 people, the duration of the lesson is 1-1.5 hours.At the beginning of the lesson, a survey is conducted in the group to identify students’ attitudes towards people with disabilities; at the end of the lesson, based on the transmitted information, students have the opportunity to change the answers to the questionnaire if their attitude towards the problems of special people has changed.

Teaching materials, TSO: projector, screen, laptop, video film “Broken Doll”, cards with the names of the roles and the task: “blind”, “deaf-mute”, “man without an arm”, “man without a leg”, props for playing the roles: blindfold and mouth, cane, earplugs, rope, cardboard hats in six colors.

When preparing for classes, it is recommended to move desks or tables to the walls of the room and seat students in one row in a semicircle (the leader organizes his workplace in the center of this semicircle, in order to be an equal participant interactive process)

Progress of the lesson

1. Organizing time, lesson topic message

Good afternoon, guys, today we have a very unusual lesson, it is dedicated to “special people” - people with disabilities - people with disabilities.How do special people live in modern society, what problems and limitations special people experience every day - we will learn during the lesson.

2. Message “What is disability”

What is disability? “Disability is one of the human characteristics.”

A person with a disability constantly faces various restrictions in his life. Restriction is when you cannot easily and simply do what is natural and familiar to other people.

You can't climb the stairs if you hurt your leg - but you can use the elevator (if it's installed in the house). It is difficult for you to eat regular food in the school cafeteria if you are sick, but the cook can prepare a different dish for you (if he wants to cook it or if there are other foods in the cafeteria!). You know that these restrictions will disappear when you recover. But a person with a disability faces such difficulties every day. We are accustomed to perceiving disability as a problem of a person who is different from others. A person who is sick or injured is truly different from others. But we are all different from each other!The cause of the problems of a person with a disability is not his personal characteristics, and the obstacles around him that limit his capabilities. The capabilities of a person with a disability are limited only by the conditions of his life. Any person will become a person with disabilities if he is surrounded by barriers and restrictions.Sometimes a disease cannot be cured, but it is always possible to remove obstacles.To do this, society must understand thatthe cause of disability is interaction with physical barriers and restrictions from society.

3. Questionnaire “Your attitude towards people with disabilities”

On your desks there is a small questionnaire that contains questions with ready-made options answers, you need to put a sign (×) next to the answer that coincides with your opinion, or give your own answer to the question posed. I draw your attention to the fact that there are no right or wrong answers, the survey is anonymous, at the end of our lesson we will return to it again.

4. Immersion in the problem

Each of us has encountered people with disabilities, it is impossible not to notice them, they attract attention with their peculiarity and dissimilarity to us, but we do not always behave adequately and correctly towards these people. Today we will try to try on the role and experiences of a person with disabilities and live an ordinary day of a “special person”.

Exercise "Imitation"

Purpose of the exercise: to enable students to experience the difficulties faced by “special people” and understand how they feel about it.

Important!!! Ensure safety in the premises where the lesson is held.

Distribution of roles: I need four volunteers,you will play the role of a disabled person, and which one you will draw blindly, each of you has the right to choose an assistant “Guardian Angel” from the group.

Students take turns drawing cards with the name of the role. In accordance with the assigned role, they are given attributes, and manipulations are performed to bring them into a state for playing the assigned role. Each “special” person is assigned an assistant.The task for each role is contained in cards that are given by the presenter along with the attributes of the role. 5-7 minutes are allotted to complete the task, 3-4 minutes for group discussion. At the command of the leader, the “Guardian Angel” changes places with the performer of the role.

"Blind":

"Deaf and Mute":

"The Man Without an Arm":

"The Man Without a Leg":

Assistant to a disabled person - a “special person”

Instructions: At some point, at my signal, the assistant and the disabled person will switch roles. Each “special” person needs to try to complete the tasks contained in the cards. Spectators must maintain silence in the audience,since additional noise can interfere with orientation in space. Necessarycarefully observe what difficulties a “special” person experiences in the process of completing a task. If a desire arises, students are allowed to help a “special” person complete the task.

"Blind"

Instructions: “Now we will blindfold you, and blindfolded you will perform next task- from the classroom door, go to the blackboard, find chalk, write your name and return to your place.”.

Instructions to the assistant: Your task is to protect your friend from falls and collisions with surrounding objects. It is forbidden to help in completing the task!!!

Question:“Is everything clear?” The participant is then blindfolded and completes the task.

To the participant:

To the assistant: Did you want to help? If you wanted to, then when?

To the whole group: What did you saw? Where was it difficult for him? When was it difficult for him? What other difficulties do you think people with poor vision or blind people? WhatIs there a way to help a blind person navigate space?Possible answers:speak the situation out loud, take your hand.

"The Man Without a Leg"

No assistant required. The presenter selects one volunteer and explains the task to him:“Now you will cross one leg and jump from the far wall of the classroom to the blackboard, take the chalk, solve the problem and return to your place.”.

Question:“Is everything clear?” The participant completes the task

Questions after completing the task:

To the participant : What did you do? What did you feel? Was it difficult? If it is difficult, then when?

To the whole group: When was it difficult for him? Where was it difficult for him? What other difficulties do you think people with this type face?physical limitation?

"The Man Without an Arm"

No assistant required.

The presenter selects a volunteer wearing a jacket with buttons and gives the task to take off the jacket and shoes. With your dominant hand tied, try to put on your jacket and shoes and fasten the buttons or zipper. The participant puts on a jacket or jacket with his right hand in the pocket and tries to button it up. Puts on shoes in the same way. Another option: the participant is asked to write with his left hand the phrase “All people are equal!”

Questions after completing the task:

To the participant: What did you feel? What did you do? Was it difficult? If it is difficult, then when?

To the whole group: When was it difficult for him? Where was it difficult for him? What other challenges do you think people with this type of disability face? How can you help special people? How can our society help them?

"Deaf and Mute"

The participant needs to imagine that he is in a minibus; he must in some way make it clear to others that he needs to get off at a specific stop. Another option: Buy a set of products at the grocery store, but he is not allowed to write on paper.

Questions after completing the task:

To the participant: What did you feel? What did you do? Was it difficult? If it is difficult, then when?

To the whole group: When was it difficult for him? Where was it difficult for him? Did he need help from others?

5. Watch a video about people with disabilities “Broken Doll”

6. Feedback

How did watching this film make you feel? It's a pity good feeling, but do you think special people need our pity? How can we help special people? Can “special people” lead full life? Do you think special people are capable of achieving success in sports, creativity or other activities? (Give examples of Paralympic athletes, deaf dancers, blind artists)

7. Reflection:

There are six hats in front of you, six different colors, each color is a question, I ask you to take these hats apart, you can take one hat for two, and then I will tell you what question the owner of a hat of this or that color will answer.

So:

White hat- what new things did you learn or what unusual experiences did you experience during the lesson?

red hat– Why do you think people with disabilities became the topic of our lesson? Is this topic relevant and why?

Blue hat– Do you think the barriers and restrictions faced by “special people” should be talked about and drawn to public attention? Why?

yellow hat- what can you do for a “special person”?

Green hat– will your attitude towards “special people” and their problems change? And why?

Black hat - which negative emotions Did you experience something in today's lesson that you would not like to experience again?

8. Summing up: Our lesson has come to an end, today you had the opportunity to imagine yourself in the place of a person with certain physical limitations and live a moment from his life, now let's return to the questionnaire, the questions of which you answered at the beginning of the lesson. Once again, carefully read the questions and your answers, you have the opportunity to change the answers, do this if there is a need and your attitude towards “special people” has changed.

Thank you for your active participation and frankness!

Conclusion

During the lesson, students have the opportunity not only to receive new information about people with disabilities and broaden your horizons, but also immerse yourself in the problems of people with disabilities. Aactive participation in games and discussions, as well as the roles they play during the lesson,allow students to “try on” themselves different situations , experience restrictions in actions and communication,that a person with a disability may encounterV Everyday life , and draw your own conclusions promoting the development of a tolerant attitude towards people with disabilities.

In the future, it is planned to hold a lesson to familiarize students with technical devices and aids for the disabled with an invitation to “special people” to attend the lesson. An activity of this kind will allow students to form their attitude towards people with disabilities by communicating with them directly: asking questions that interest them, examining various rehabilitation devices.

Literature

Volchok N. We will live without barriers / Nina Volchok // Social protection. - 2012. - No. 5. p. 5-9

Materials for training course“Training for trainers” / Process Consulting Company - M.: “Moscow”, 2001. 14 – 20 p.

"Workshop on psychological games with children and teenagers” / Ed. M.R. Bityanova. - St. Petersburg: “Peter”, 2009. 17-21 p.

A guide to conducting “Lessons in Kindness.”[Electronic resource]. - http://perspektiva-inva.ru

Film "Broken Doll". [Electronic resource]. -http:// good- business. info

“Different opportunities – equal rights”[Electronic resource]. -http:// children. perspective- inva. ru/ broshyury/ raznye- vozmozhnosti- ravnye- prava

Picture of six hats[Electronic resource]. - http://www.libertygrant.co.uk/portal/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/six-hats.png

Annex 1

Questionnaire “Your attitude towards people with disabilities”

1. Do you often meet disabled people in everyday life?

A) often, B) rarely, C) sometimes, D) never occur, E) your answer:

2. What do you know about the life of people with disabilities, their opportunities and difficulties?

A) Yes, I know that they have a hard time, B) I have a vague idea about their life, what they need, C) I don’t know anything about the life of disabled people and am not interested in this topic, D) your answer option:

3. How do people with disabilities make you feel when you meet them?

A) pity and sympathy, B) hostility, C) curiosity, D) indifference, E) your answer:

4. If a student with disabilities came to your class, would you treat him:

A) as an equal, B) avoidedcommunication with him, C) did not pay attention, D) tried to help him, E) your answer:

5. How do you think people with disabilities feel about healthy people?

A) With hostility and resentment, B) Indifferently, C) They envy healthy people and their capabilities, D) Kindly, E) your answer:

6. If a disabled person asks you for help on the street or in public transport, will you help him?

A) Yes, of course, B) I’ll think about it first, C) Most likely not, D) Difficult to answer

7. What will you do if your neighbor on the train is a person in a wheelchair?

A) I will try to change my place, B) I will try not to notice his difficulties, because this does not concern me C) I will help him if only he asks me about it, D) I will help him with the slightest possibility, without expecting a request for help, D) your answer option:

8. In the interests of people with disabilities, you can try to do the following:

A) Reconsider your attitude towards disabled people, B) I don’t even know how I can help disabled people, C) Helping disabled people is the concern of the state, D) Donate part of your income to disabled people, E) your answer option:

9. What good and useful things are being done in our city for people with disabilities?

A) Everything is being done so that disabled people do not feel abandoned, B) Something is being done - ramps and signs are being installed, C) Almost nothing is being done, D) Why do anything if disabled people practically never leave the house, E) your option answer:

Appendix 2

Map of props and tasks for playing the roles of a “special person”

Name of the role, props for playing the role.

Exercise

"Deaf and Mute": earplugs, mouth bandage (it is forbidden to talk through the bandage)

Imagine that you are in a minibus, in some way make it clear to others that you need to get off at a specific stop. Buy a set of products at the grocery store (writing on paper is prohibited).

"The Man Without an Arm": The leading hand is tied behind the back

Take off your jacket and shoes, hold right hand in your trouser pocket, try to put on a jacket and shoes, fasten the buttons or zipper. Use your left hand to write the phrase “All people are equal!”

"The Man Without a Leg": the leg is tied in a bent position

Cross one leg and jump from the far wall of the classroom to the blackboard, take the chalk, solve the problem and return to your place.”.

"Blind": blindfold, cane (it is forbidden to remove the blindfold or peek)

From the classroom door, go to the blackboard, find chalk, write your name and return to your seat.”.

You probably thought that we'll talk about some extraordinary people with special properties. This is how we usually see pop and movie stars, famous politicians, scientists, clairvoyants and others. No, we will talk about truly special people - the foundation of all humanity. The idea of writing this article was not born yesterday, but the impetus was reading Maria Gribova’s article “Ordinary People”. What the author writes about cannot leave most of the readers indifferent. I was moved to tears.

I immediately remembered my grandparents - simple rural workers. I remembered their faces, furrowed with deep wrinkles, so dear and kind; their cracked, calloused, but so gentle palms. And eyes with such light! - the light of true wisdom and truth of life...

I often think: what good have they seen in their lives? They worked all the time - from dawn to dusk, without demanding any rewards or honors. All the burdens of formation fell on their shoulders Soviet power. Entire villages and villages of them were destroyed during the Holodomor. It was they who won the bloodiest and most terrible Great War in the history of mankind. Patriotic War, millions dying from fascist bullets and shells in order to save our lives. They were the ones who restored everything destroyed by the war. National economy and gave birth to children - as many as God will give! - without fear of any difficulties, and raised worthy people. And they didn’t need money, positions, basic amenities of life, or pickles.

SPECIAL PEOPLE are those who do not have their own “I”, but have “WE”. They are “like everyone else”, “so that everything is like people”, “as the team says.” These are people with a muscle vector. Only during training system-vector psychology I learned about such people from Yuri Burlan. There are 38% of them in our general unconscious psyche. These are the most peaceful, conflict-free, flexible people. This is the salt of the earth. This live weight of all humanity. This is life itself in the human body.

People with a muscle vector are people of the earth. Only they truly feel the earth alive. They are tightly tied to native land, to your small homeland. For them, the taste of water from their well or an apple from their garden is special. A muscular woman is always a mother-heroine with a horde of children. At the age of 16-17 she is already physical level twists it - I really want to give birth! She went to mow with her belly, the time came - she abandoned the scythe, gave birth under a haystack, finished the mow and took the child home. What power! And she manages the child so deftly, as if she had already nursed a dozen.

One of my grandmothers had 8 children, but four died in early age. I remember my grandmother’s garden, in which there were many apple trees. When the early apples appeared, we, the grandchildren, would pick them and take them to treat grandma. But she refuses. “Grandma, why don’t you like apples?” I ask. “Granddaughter, I love you very much,” he answers. “Only before the Savior I can’t eat them. Four of my little children died. In the other world, God goes and distributes apples to children on the Savior. And if I eat it before the Savior, he won’t give it to mine, he will say: “But your mother pig ate your apples.” And only a sad smile on her face and not a single tear in her eyes. God gave - God took, what can you do! And then I cried at night, imagining the children in the other world without the apples that their mother ate. As muscular people are taught, this is how they live: without arguing, without discussing, without sticking out. The main thing is to be like people, to be like everyone else.

All people relate to death differently in accordance with their vector set: some are terribly afraid of death, others even desire it. You can learn about these amazing features at the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. But only muscular people They treat death calmly. They prepare for death ahead of time, so that everything is humane, according to the correct ritual.
So my grandmother always had everything prepared in advance for death. I remember my grandmother was in the garden, and we, grandchildren, were hot in the house. Things to do? - climb into the closet, dress up in dresses and have a concert. The cousin reached the mysterious bundle in the very depths of the closet, untied it, and there, among the scarves, bedspreads and towels, was a simple black dress. Not understanding what kind of dress it was, my sister put it on, painted her lips with red lipstick and let’s dance - it’s a concert! And then grandma comes in...

I will never forget the rage that distorted her kindest face. She, who never punishes us, spanked her sister so much that everyone was scared. Everyone roared in unison, and grandma was with us. Now I only know why she had such a reaction to the innocent trick of the children: you cannot encroach on the holy of holies of a muscular man - something that is prepared for death. So the treasured bundle for death always lay in the closet. Then suddenly someone died in the village, but did not prepare for death, and the grandmother gave away her bundle. Then I collected a new one again. I don’t even know how many of these nodules changed - my grandmother lived to be almost 90 years old. And up to last day worked. And I kept trying to persuade her to rest, I felt so sorry for her. Back then I couldn’t even imagine that hard, monotonous work on the ground, at a machine, on a conveyor belt is the greatest pleasure for people with a muscle vector!

Now, I hope you also understand that pop and movie stars and others like them are not special. The simplest people are special. If it weren’t for them, people without pretensions, we wouldn’t exist - so smart, self-sufficient and always dissatisfied with everything.

Where is humanity going now, driving these special people into cities? The short answer is to extinction and degradation. This especially affects post-Soviet countries, where the majority of the population has a urethral-muscular mentality. They destroy the village, and with it they destroy the healthiest part of humanity (both mentally and physically) - people with a muscle vector. The Russian village is also drinking itself to death. But these are separate, very deep topics.

What simply shocks me about the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan? From some small episode of life, realized systematically, you can write an entire systematic novel. What deep layers this knowledge reveals in all areas of life!

I dedicate this article with great gratitude to millions of our ancestors and their descendants - special ordinary people on which the whole world rests. Without them there will be nothing on Earth!

I want that when we meet a working person, we would not turn up our noses, would not express our mental and material superiority, but would say to him a simple human “THANK YOU” for his work, which most of us are no longer capable of.

The article was written based on training materials on

A woman with a dog in her arms opens the door for me. The dog is small, old, and whines. They picked her up so she wouldn't bark - the children were sleeping. The woman is young and beautiful, with eyes in which some kind of warmth is hidden, mysterious light. When Larisa tells me that her eldest son is already a father three times, and she is a grandmother, I do not hide my amazement.

When she married Dmitry, they did not think about any adopted children. It came out naturally. She was a volunteer at City Hospital No. 18, on Vernadsky Avenue. Khariton was 4, he was diagnosed with myelodysplasia (underdevelopment spinal cord). When Larisa met him, he lay in bed all the time and looked at the world with his beautiful sad eyes.

"I watched him whole year, - recalls Larisa. - He was like an angel. He thought that people live in the hospital - they just go out and come back. I told my husband about him. I wanted to help this particular boy, you know?” Friends dissuaded me. “They tell you: the child is sick, you can’t cope, he will die, and you have to answer. But you are afraid and do it.”

Dmitry comes into the kitchen: also young and handsome, with dark hair and a calm smile. They are somehow elusively similar, as often happens in strong families.

How did you decide to adopt a foster child who also needs special care? - I ask.
“When you’re 20, you have the same priorities,” Dima smiles. – And when you’re 40, you’re completely different. You no longer think about missing fishing or anything else important in life.
“Well, you went fishing,” says Larisa, “once.”

Both laugh.

When Khariton settled at home, it turned out that he was a born artist. He copied children in the hospital and parents at home. Him good memory, and he can pronounce the most complex sentences and phrases. “They told us we couldn’t handle it. He needs a catheter every 2.5 hours. You have to carry him on yourself - he doesn’t walk, and there is no lift for the stroller in the entrance. But all this turned out to be not scary.”

After a rehabilitation summer in Germany, paid for by Rusfond, Khariton got a modern wheelchair and even a special corset that allowed him to stand. But the corset did not catch on - Khariton was bored with it, he was used to kicking the ball while sitting in a stroller, turning around whenever he wanted, and the heavy metal structure hampered his movements. In addition, it is difficult to lower this device into the street every time without a lift: after all, you also need to lower the child for a walk.

In Germany, for whose citizens such corsets are produced, accessible environment everywhere, and Khariton in Germany walked in a corset himself, with his own legs. It was cool, he liked it. But in Moscow he became uninterested in this - he still couldn’t go out on his own. Yes, and you can’t get out in a wheelchair. All efforts of Larisa and Dima to “knock out” the lift were in vain. That's how they live.

Khariton is taken to secondary school to Krylatskoye. The school has an inclusive class, and Khariton lies on the carpet between classes and assembles Legos. He was lucky with his teacher - she not only teaches, but also takes care of him: she even agreed to insert a catheter. If she had not agreed, Dima would have had to watch next to her son for half a day.

However, at work they were sympathetic to family circumstances Dmitry and allowed him to work remotely. “In our life, everything turned out so that some people themselves “disappeared,” while others remained with us, and it became clear that they were there forever.” Relatives and the priest did not dissuade them from the “cross.” “Yes, it seems to me that there was no suffering in this, there was joy,” says Larisa.

You think that you are generally good, but only this child helps you understand yourself. I've read a lot foreign literature. I learned to communicate with the child, taking into account his characteristics. I learned to listen to him.”

Special little sister

One day Khariton asked his mom and dad for a sister. They laughed it off. And then we read an article on Pravmir about little Irishka from Vladivostok, who was to be adopted by the family of Kristen and Andrew Widerford from Virginia. They met with Irina and waited to be told the date court session. But at the end of 2012, Russia passed a law prohibiting Americans from adopting Russian children. Kristen then cried a lot and asked all the journalists with whom she spoke to find a family for Irina - she felt guilty that she could not adopt her.

“I read Kristen’s words, and she really touched me,” says Larisa. – And Irishka was so wonderful in the photo. And I realized that in the orphanage she would withdraw into herself and it would be difficult for her to survive. But we didn’t know anything about Down syndrome and how to care for such children.”

They found information and specialists, contacted Kristen, who worked as a special education teacher and explained that there is nothing special about raising children with Down syndrome - you just need to love them. They called Vladivostok. The regional operator of the federal data bank of orphans said: “Are you sure? The child is going blind. Why her?” Irishka has optic nerve dystrophy, but this no longer frightened Larisa and Dima. “Khariton and I realized that a child is never easy - before you get it, you have to suffer,” Larisa laughs.

And they flew to Vladivostok.

The paperwork took several days - and now Irishka is sitting on the plane, closing his eyes and frozen. And so - the whole flight. During the entire journey she did not eat a crumb or a drop of dew. When she arrived, she drank a glass of water, and at home, when a cat jumped onto her sofa, she crawled away from him like a spider and fell soundly asleep.

“They gave her to us as a 4-year-old, but it felt like she was an infant,” Larisa recalls. “That’s what they told me with a smile: “Here is your microtype.” She weighed 9 kilograms and was 80 centimeters tall. She didn’t walk, didn’t drink or eat on her own, didn’t speak. At first she ate at home all the time. After a couple of months I got back on my feet. Now she weighs 15 kilograms, she eats herself with a spoon, she calls her dad “daddy”, she loves her brother very much.”

The lunchtime nap is coming to an end, and Irishka leaves the bedroom and goes into the kitchen. She immediately climbs onto her dad’s lap and hugs him, then sits down with her mom, takes out pencils and draws circles. "This is our new success“until now there were little scribbles, but now there are circles,” says Larisa. While her parents decided not to take her to kindergarten- let her adapt, she spent 4 of her five years in a government institution.

Dima brings Khariton - the boy, remarkably similar to him, looks at me carefully. When his parents told him about Irishka, asking him if they could cope, because she was all alone and she needed special care,

He has a rich imagination. At first he had a lot of fears - he was afraid open windows, midges, cars. And Irishka was afraid. And now he sings and plays from morning to evening. “At some point we realized that with the advent of Irishka we were always smiling from ear to ear,” says Larisa. “A very bright child.”

Sometimes they Skype with Kristen. At first, Kristen cried all the time - she dreamed for many days that a little girl from Russia would appear in her family. But now she smiles because Irishka has found her home, and Kristen helped her with this.

There are still several children left in the federal database of orphans from the “American list” - US citizens wanted to adopt them, but did not have time. Among them are 10-year-old Valeria from St. Petersburg and 9-year-old Oksana from Vladimir. Girls have Down syndrome. Katrina Morris and Judy Johnson, who were supposed to be the girls' mothers, are praying that families will be found in Russia for Lera and Oksana. After all, the law has already taken away three years of their childhood.

What is special about a person. Special people

Steps

Become an individual

Do not give up

Be memorable

Warnings

Special little sister