“British scientists have proven that the Earth is not round, but black and crunches on the teeth”

"British scientists have opened another box of whiskey"

“British scientists have found that the most popular message on social networks on Thursday is “Tomorrow is Friday!”

You can find an incredible amount of such jokes on the Internet. And they continue to be generated every day, despite the tediousness of the topic. Mainly because British scientists themselves never tire of coming up with new informational reasons suitable for jokes.

For example, they recently learned why the bone in the connective tissue of the penis disappeared in humans during the process of evolution, and they also found out why some pigs are optimists and some are pessimists.

It is not clear what value these works have, what motivates scientists when they undertake stupid research, and why the UK takes the leading place in the number of mentions of such absurd “discoveries”. It is worth considering this phenomenon from the point of view of meme theory. Meme is a unit cultural information transmitted from person to person. The concept was introduced by evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins in his 1976 book The Selfish Gene. “British scientists” is a full-fledged meme, and there are several reasons for its appearance.

Britain and science

The United Kingdom has always been considered the most developed and progressive place on the map of Europe. This is a country rich in both resources and people. In addition, historically it turned out that it was in Great Britain that true science began to rapidly develop. Oxford and Cambridge are the oldest universities in the world, and at the same time the most respected in our days.

The English were Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, James Maxwell, Michael Faraday, Ernest Rutherford, James Joule. This list can be continued until you get tired of talking about scientific discoveries.

IN early XIX century, during the Regency era, London was the intellectual center of the civilized world. Scientists have actively enlightened ordinary people about their discoveries, the spirit of mental revolution was in the air. In 1831, the British Association for the Diffusion of Scientific Knowledge convened its first meeting, at which the main tenet of this organization was adopted - to promote the development of science and work to attract national attention to it. In the same year, the first science festival was held, where scientists from various areas and shared research results with each other and with the public. Science was becoming public. Lectures by leading researchers were always sold out. This gave rise to news stories that were happily picked up by the press.

More than 70 British scientists have received Nobel Prizes. In 2016, they also received a prize in the field of physics with the wording “for theoretical discoveries topological phase transitions and topological phases of matter.” It is natural that in people’s minds science is nationally assigned to the British. This is the first step to understanding the history of the “British scientists” meme.

Crucial moment

When British science no longer associated with quality and has lost some credibility? This is due to changes in English system education. In the 70s–80s of the 20th century, a reform took place educational institutions, and various colleges received new status and names. At the same time, they began to have the right to conduct research. Even later, the government merged these former colleges, and 30 appeared in the country polytechnic institutes. Their programs were similar to university ones, but the diploma higher education it was impossible to get there. In 1992, they all acquired the status of universities, increasing the number higher institutions doubled in England. The number of young scientists and researchers has increased immeasurably; they have begun to compete for grants and funding.

With such a mass of works, attention was given to those that were more suitable “to the topic of the day”, had novelty and were beneficial to someone. In the 90s, the media was full of headlines about strange scientific research.

IN The Guardian For 1993, you can find the following article: “Cot death risk is lower among babies who do not sleep alone.” In The Independent, 1996: "Male fish are being 'feminised' by river pollution." BBC September 1998: “Passionate sex aids pregnancy.”

It's all about money

To this day, the Government of the United Kingdom, political associations and private organizations fund science very well. Only from the outside European Union the amount of material support for British scientists was about $1.2 billion per year (however, the UK may lose this pleasant tradition with Brexit).

Appetizingly crispy pieces of paper in a wallet in themselves are a good incentive for any activity. And if this is also seasoned with the possibility of getting a high score in the citation index scientific articles, then the scientist can no longer dream of anything else, except perhaps the salvation of the world.

This is precisely what was named as the reasons for the appearance of low-quality scientific articles in a recent study by British scientists.

The more citations scientific article in publications with a high impact factor (a numerical indicator of the importance of the journal), the “newer” the research, the higher the chances that this work will receive grants and material support from interested parties.

The researchers who created mathematical model problems of “bad” articles, and suggested ways to improve the situation. First of all, according to them, it is necessary to increase the requirements for statistical samples and procedures for processing results. Some reputable journals have already begun to act in this direction.

Some studies are even commissioned by commercial companies. One day, information appeared in the British press about new job scientists, which dealt with the common myth of the “five-second rule.” This everyday saying states that a product picked up from the floor after five seconds is not considered contaminated with bacteria. Scientists said that this rule is observed, but not on all products. The Daily Mail, where the article was published, later explained that the "research" was sponsored by cleaning product manufacturers. Moreover, the text advised readers to change the “head” of the mop every three months to minimize the risk of infection dangerous bacteria. When they tried to find the authors of the article, it turned out that behind the whole group there is the name of only one person - Katie Les, an employee of the technology laboratory at Manchester City University. It was not possible to contact her.

It is especially convenient to speculate in this way in the field of statistics. This science does not care what subject to take for study. Statistical analysis quite easy to carry out, because it can be assigned to students and get the result coursework written according to all the rules of a scientific article.

Illiterate journalists

When scientists are asked directly why their work looks so stupid, they like to answer this way: journalists are to blame. And it cannot be said that they are wrong. This is the third factor in the appearance of the meme.

The Citizen (1950), “Scientists have found magic in color”

In the 19th century, England was the center of development not only of science, but also of journalism. At this time, interest in the press increased significantly among representatives of various segments of the population. Publishers and journalists targeted the working class, and by mid-century the English press began to become mainstream. Even the first hints of “yellow” publications appeared. For example, in the 60s and 70s, the weekly Vanity Fair magazines were popular, where they published pictures similar to comics and there was a gossip section. And in 1874, the weekly World: A Magazine for Men and Women appeared, offering readers critical material written by “gentlemen and scholars.” Thus, the topic of science, popular due to the unprecedented number of achievements and discoveries, began to be covered in low-quality publications.

The results of many studies are still often misunderstood and misinterpreted. In addition, journalists do not disdain “yellow” headlines and materials in pursuit of traffic.

On the Internet you can find the following text, for example: “In the far corner of the Universe there was a planet where precious stones literally fall from the sky, according to the results of a study by a group of astrophysicists from the University of Warwick (UK).” In fact, the gist of the news was that astronomers using the Kepler telescope had found a planet that may contain clouds of the mineral corundum. Its varieties are ruby ​​and sapphire.

The meme owes its stability to the following reasons: the important role of Great Britain in the development of science; educational reforms last century; large share English scientific publications V total mass; features of grant policy in the country, as well as orders from commercial organizations; distortion of research results due to lack of understanding by journalists.

For now, British scientists can't escape the stereotypical joke. And we can only wait for the next funny headlines.

The design uses a portrait of the British scientist Isaac Newton by Gottfried Kneller.

British scientists worked tirelessly so that we could enjoy the results of their work. Top most extraordinary discoveries over the past couple of years.

1. The placement of toilet paper as a reflection of a person’s personal qualities. Note to HR department

About 2,000 men and women took part in this study. Scientists have figured out exactly how people have toilet paper on the holder - with the tear-off end towards you or away from you and compared the results with personal qualities subjects. The results are as follows: those people who placed the paper with the tear-off end towards themselves have leadership qualities. Those who hung the paper with the tear-off end to the wall are more flexible and suitable for performing activities.

2. Sex life improves after 80

Researchers conducted a survey among 7,000 people aged 50 to 90 years and found that among those who are still able to have sex, those in the oldest age category are more satisfied. According to the survey, there are fewer of them who do this “out of obligation,” and fewer of those who are dissatisfied with their partner’s sex appeal. In addition, according to the survey results, adults are more quickly aroused and are more emotionally close to their partner.

3. You should not give up your seat to older people on public transport.

To hell with parenting rules! Oxford University professor and Public Health England adviser Sir Muir Gray is serious. He argues that to maintain normal well-being, older people need to be active for at least ten minutes a day. This includes walking, climbing stairs or walking. He warns: "Think twice before giving up your seat on a bus or tram to an elderly person. Riding standing up will be the best exercise for him."
He is echoed by Scarlett McNally, an orthopedic surgeon at Eastbourne District General Hospital, who believes that many diseases are associated with a lack of motor activity. “The more we move, the better. The most simple exercises– walking along the corridor and squats by the bed – are available even to patients undergoing inpatient treatment. You just need to want to be healthy a little.” It seems that everything is correct, but forcing your grandmother to stand on the bus is somehow not humane.

4. Playing Tetris reduces libido by 13%

Before going to bed, you should not play Tetris, say British scientists from Plymouth University. As it turned out, this game significantly dulls many desires, including basic ones: a person does not want to eat and, even more funny, drink. Well, where does this fit in!

5. Not such a useless discovery: reading is the best remedy for anxiety, stress and worries

British scientists recognized reading as the best remedy for worries, anxiety and stress. The study found that reading reduces stress by 68%. Just six minutes is enough to relax your muscles and normalize your heart rate.

6. Cravings for sweets can replace sleep

Now those with a sweet tooth will not have to beat themselves on the wrist, preventing them from touching a piece of their favorite cake. If you want something sweet, go to bed, say British scientists. Researchers at King's College London have found a relationship between sleep duration and adherence to healthy food. Those who sleep a lot try to eat right, they say. Just 21 extra minutes of sleep a day can help you lose a few pounds, says one of the study volunteers. The man went to bed as soon as he wanted something sweet, and over time, his dependence on tasty but unhealthy food decreased noticeably.
However, British scientists did not say what to do if the desire to eat a piece of chocolate strikes you at work.

7. Cannibalism was unprofitable for ancient man, so people preferred to hunt wild animals

Hunting a mammoth was more profitable because the hunters immediately received a large carcass, wool, bones - in a word, a lot of useful products, while humans were much less productive. On average, a mammoth carcass provided the tribe with 3,600,000 calories, a woolly rhinoceros - 1,260,000 kcal, and a bison - 979,200 kcal, while a person had only 125,822 calories - and even then, for an average, well-fed man.
Therefore, if there were cases of cannibalism in the tribes, they were of a ritual nature.

8. Pigs have their optimists and pessimists.

Pigs can be pessimists or optimists just like people, British scientists from the University of Lincoln have found. The study analyzed the behavior of 36 animals that were offered chocolate or coffee beans in bowls. The third bowl was empty - it was placed between these two.
Those pigs that showed interest in an empty bowl were called optimists by British scientists. Researchers are sure that the animals did this in the hope of finding something more attractive in the bowl than coffee beans or chocolate. A bowl of sweet delicacy was chosen by those who are not used to good things and are ready for a bird in the hand instead of a pie in the sky,

9. Beer is liquid medicine

After 18 experiments conducted by scientists from the University of Greenwich in England, it was found that drinking 2 pints of beer (1 English pint - 0.56 l) reduces pain by almost a third, acting as an analgesic. Study leader Dr Trevor Thompson says alcohol can be compared to opioid drugs such as codeine and has a stronger effect than paracetamol. True, it immediately warns about the harm that alcohol can cause to a person.

10. Heading is harmful to the health of football players

Hitting the head with a ball in football is not only inevitable, but common. However, even a few hits are enough for small but important changes to occur in the functioning of a football player’s brain. Scientists from the University of Stirling in Scotland say that after 20 headers, memory function decreases by 41-67%, and it takes at least a day to restore it to its previous level. The scientists' study was published in the journal EBioMedicine.

11. Strategy for winning the game “rock-paper-scissors”

In March 2016, researchers from British University Sussex announced that they now know exactly the strategy for winning the game of rock-paper-scissors. According to the results of statistical data, a study of people's behavior during the game, they said: you can win the only way- without thinking. Those who throw out their fingers at random, without thinking about certain combination, win more often. But even in this case, we should not forget that the chances of winning are one in three.

12. The third one is not superfluous

Scientists from the universities of Nottingham, Bristol and Swansea have calculated the optimal number of sexual partners for future spouses before marriage. It is optimal if there are no more than 3 of them. This average, because British men and women showed different preferences for their partners' sexual activity during the premarital period. Women didn't want to marry a virgin, but they also didn't like it if a man had more than 6 women. Men were not against a virgin, but they had a negative attitude if the future wife had more than 10 partners before marriage.

13. Speed ​​of movement of Santa Claus

Physicist from the University of Exeter Katie Shin explains the ability of Father Christmas to deliver gifts in time by the fact that he moves at a speed of ten million kilometers per hour.
No comments.

14. Lying out of habit

In response to the question “how are you,” most people lie, say foundation scientists mental health Britain. At the same time, men lie twice as often as women, and a third of respondents answer the question vaguely. 1/5 considers this question to be a common turn of phrase. And 59% of those who are asked “how are you” are sure that people do not want to know the details and the truth when asking this question.

15. British scientists discovered the reason for the appearance of British scientists

The very term “British scientists” has long been used on the Internet to mean figures who deal with obviously stupid problems that have a very indirect relationship to science. They regularly publish new research results, but only a small number of them have important for science.
Experts from the University of Exeter and Bristol decided to find out where these same scientists come from. In our opinion, Russian users knew even without these studies that the reason for these stupid studies was exclusively mercantile - the grant system that works in the country. It is precisely this that encourages “scientists” to give their projects loud names and talk about equally loud results.
An interesting finding: consciously or not, researchers try to adapt their work methods to the methods of evaluation of projects by the foundations that provide grants. Largest quantity money is received by scientists who propose small projects, the names of which contain big words like “innovative”, “newest”. Such projects are poorly tested, and are often simply adjusted to fit the original tasks. The effectiveness of the work of scientists who work on such problems is very low - therefore, most of the grant is wasted. The researchers see a way out in the fact that funds must be directed to maintaining average and major projects, as well as a thorough audit of the results provided.

November 12, 2016 at 02:53

British scientists talk about how “British scientists” appeared

• Popular Science

Experts from the University of Exeter and the University of Bristol (UK) decided to find out where the “British scientists” come from. Here we're talking about, first of all, not about experts in different fields of science who work in the UK. The reason why many specialists conduct research that has no special meaning, but about which you can broadcast loudly. The results of an investigation into this situation were published by Andrew Higginson and Marcus Munafo in the journal PLoS Biology.

According to the authors of the project, the main reason for what happened is the grant system that operates in the country. It encourages researchers to give their projects big names and report equally big results. Moreover, these results, as a rule, have no value for science at all, or are not very valuable.

The authors of the study say that scientists should approach the study of a variety of processes objectively, trying to strengthen and build on the building scientific knowledge. “However, scientists are people too, and working in organizations where everything is aimed at making money changes the way of thinking and behavior of even honest and conscientious specialists. This process takes place in equally consciously and unconsciously,” say experts.

Since the 80s of the last century, scientists have been trying to add “novelty” to the titles of their works. At the same time, only a small number of publications are important for science. Nowadays, more and more scientists are trying to devote attention not to pure science, but for your career. Many people strive to publish as much as possible more work, which makes them more famous, and traveling around career ladder- more rapid. Young specialists, looking at the principles of work of experienced comrades, adopt their work model. This can be called adaptive behavior - similar phenomenon widespread in the world of wildlife and plays important role in evolution.

In their work, Higginson and his colleague Marcus Munafo used methods of mathematics and statistics. They decided to find out the success of grant applications and their results in the form of publications in scientific journals. At the very beginning of the study, the authors suggested that scientists who work with grants could use a certain general principle for your projects, allowing you to receive additional funds. It is interesting that many researchers, consciously or not, try to adjust their work methods to the methods of evaluation of the projects under consideration by the foundations that provide grants. In general, this is obvious.

In order to trace the process from writing an application to receiving a grant by the grant eaters, mathematicians studied the operating principles of grant agencies in the UK and Australia. The scientists then used the data to construct computer model, where “scientists” try to get as many grants as possible from the grant commission. As it turns out, the researchers who get the most money are those who propose small-scale projects with big words like “innovative”, “newest”, etc. The real problem with such projects is that their results are poorly verified and, for the most part, are completely adjusted to the original objectives. The effectiveness of the work of scientists taking part in such projects is very low. Only 10-40% of the results of such projects can be repeated. Consequently, most of the money is wasted and does not leave any positive mark on science."

According to scientists from the UK, the situation can be resolved. To do this, it is necessary to reduce the number of supported small projects, directing funds to support large and medium-sized projects. In addition, commissions need to respond not to the sensationalism of the proposed developments, but to the methodology and results of such work.

Average statistical power of publications published in scientific journals from 1960 to 2011

Back in 1963, Jacob Kahn, a psychologist at New York University, discovered that statistically, the result expected by the researcher occurs in only 20% of experiments performed. But in reality, almost all scientists point to positive result their research. In other words, authors simply don't talk about failure, in some cases. Paul Smaldino from the University of California and Richard McElres from the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology proved that the authors scientific research still talk about their successes, hiding their defeats.

Smaldino and Richard McElres believe that only a firm decision from the funds and scientific organizations do not provide funds to scientists and laboratories that have previously published unverified results of their research. Such organizations often present their expectations as positive results. True, this is quite difficult to do, since the grant system has existed for a long time, and its principles are ingrained in the minds of scientists.

For this reason more money and faster career advancement is achieved by those specialists who give their works great titles (the notorious “our technique allows us to defeat cancer”) and publish a large number of materials. Those organizations that try to carefully verify their results publish much less frequently and are, so to speak, in the “shadows.”

"article" British scientists have found that...", where we will talk about what British scientists have found out.

British scientists have found that ducks love rain. that to discover what everyone knows villager, it took scientists three years and 300 thousand pounds.

Finding out that ducks love rain cost British taxpayers £300,000. This is exactly the amount the ministry spent on environment, food and agriculture(The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, DEFRA) for research that lasted about three years, The Daily Mail reports.

Another group of scientists discovered that dogs yawn after their owners. The amazing addiction is driven by the dog's cognitive-behavioral instincts.

Experiments by scientists from University of London showed that domestic dogs begin to yawn after their owners. According to researchers, this indicates that pets tend to empathize and copy the emotions of their owners.

British scientists also conducted a study, during which it was discovered that cats prefer to use their right front paw to perform complex actions, and cats prefer to use their left. However, on average, all cats are ambidextrous, that is, they can use both the right and left front paws equally well.

By the way, there was already an article about this study -

British scientists have also found that among the ants there are also scammers and corrupt officials. Which, however, is logical, since ants are social insects with tough hierarchical system organization of life.

An unusual discovery was made by scientists from Great Britain and Denmark: it turns out that ants are also characterized by dishonest behavior and corruption. The article, in which scientists describe how ants deceive their fellows, was published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Another discovery by British scientists looks almost touching: they found that nine out of ten London ladybugs suffer from a fungal venereal disease. However, sexually transmitted diseases in insects are mild.

A person can die of boredom - this is also one of the recent statements of British scientists. By the end of the study, approximately 40% of the subjects who suffered from boredom died.

Being an excellent student is dangerous for mental health. According to British scientists, schoolchildren with only excellent grades are much more likely to suffer from manic-depressive psychosis than students with average academic performance.

British scientists from Keele University conducted an experiment proving the fact that swearing and foul language can reduce physical pain. This was reported by newspaper The Telegraph.

Another experiment found that smiling doesn't make anyone feel better. The strange thing is that the experiments were carried out on laboratory snails and snakes.

Parents scold their children for telling lies, and they themselves tell lies on average 100 times a year, British scientists have calculated. However, there is another study that clearly demonstrates that, on average, modern man tells lies 3.5 times a day.

British scientists have found that sometimes they give out fantasies instead of scientific discoveries. Colleagues from Cardiff University revealed where the catchy and sometimes ridiculous headlines in articles based on the works of British and (not only) scientists come from. They proved that most false sensations are born not on the keyboards of journalists reporting the news, but in the heads of those: it is PR people who invent sensations.

British scientists have found that: food quickly picked up from the floor is not considered dropped; that 9 out of 10 ladybugs in London suffer from fungal venereal diseases; that the majority of drivers who violate traffic rules are latent homosexuals. They also found that the average person eats seven spiders in their sleep; bumblebees can catch maniacs; and cats think that a person is a big cat.

These are not jokes, but headlines from official press releases of various scientific institutes Britain. The information is often so curious that you want to know: how did they establish this?

This issue was taken up... by British scientists themselves. Or rather, the staff of Cardiff University. It turned out that sometimes the most insignificant research, after processing by those who compose press releases, changes beyond recognition. But it really attracts the attention of journalists, and subsequently of readers, says Dmitry Zykov, deputy editor-in-chief of the Science and Life magazine. Hence the inflated sensations that sell well.

“Sensation is a good, interesting thing, a lot of attention is paid to it. People tend to greatly exaggerate the significance of what they suddenly unexpectedly learned about. This is a purely psychological effect: oh, how unexpected, how interesting. Often sensations appear, as they say, from pure heart. People just didn’t understand what they were being told,” explains Zykov.

In these cases, the scientists themselves say the classic thing: the journalists did not understand anything and distorted everything. In fact, failure occurs along the entire chain. At first, scientists did not convey the main idea very clearly; the writers of the press release exaggerated it and drew incorrect conclusions, on the basis of which they gave false advice. And then the journalists fell for the sensation and, without checking with other sources, amplified it and released the news under a catchy headline. The reader read, believed and even began to follow the advice.

But there is doubt that initially everything was intended only for sensation, notes the chairman of the RAS commission on combating pseudoscience, Evgeniy Alexandrov. A certain interest cannot be ruled out, since this is typical of Western scientists. “They crave attention, maybe attracting some funds,” says Aleksandrov.

IN Russian science this is impossible. There is no need for our scientists to make a name and money from populism. And, as the expert says, there is an almost scientific explanation for this.

“For us, science has always been in the warm hands of the state; we had no need to communicate with the press. But after the end of the arms race, they became poor with money, and they, so to speak, rushed to the panel, to sell products. And, perhaps, they became spoiled ", - says Alexandrov. - For us, this is less typical. In our country, sensations are generated in the media."

But this is rare. For example, about 10 years ago, newspapers published a sensation that cockroaches bring their relatives into the house by tapping their paws on the floor. And many, succumbing to this “duck”, began to cover the floors with carpets or linoleum. True, this information was later denied. And recently a message was published about an allegedly open cold nuclear fusion, which should devalue our Russian oil. And this was also refuted by our scientists. What all the newspapers wrote about.