Question to a psychologist
Since childhood, I have had and still have a huge problem with relationships with people around me. Especially with friends and girlfriends. Previously, due to my age and maximalism, I immediately severely severed all relations with a person who betrayed me in any way, and disappointment set in. As I grew older, I began to take a more relaxed attitude towards such setups from loved ones, I simply closed my eyes, “hawala”.
But as soon as a person expressed any dissatisfaction to me, I exploded and laid out everything I thought about him. And then the person gradually began to move away from me, and over time, communication stopped altogether, because I gave the person the right to choose whether to continue communicating with me after the bitter truth about himself or not. Everyone chose the second option. It turns out that the person offends me with obscene actions, which I previously thought I forgive, and continue to communicate, but after hearing the revealing truth about himself from me, he stopped communicating with me further. And it doesn’t matter how long such friendship and communication lasted. After my words everything stopped. I'm 23 years old and I still can't accept the fact that the world is unfair. I climb wherever I feel that lies are taking precedence over the truth. All my life I have had enemies for this reason, but on the contrary, I dream of having a person nearby who, without flattery, will tell me everything about me as it is. I have never met anyone like this before, on the contrary, I feel some kind of constraint from everyone, they stop trusting me, although I have never committed a single wrong action against anyone! Only the truth...are these people really that weak? Or am I being too critical?! Asking for the truth, which I may not express for a long time, and finally hearing it, everyone hides. How to live further? It is unbearable. I pay people in the same coin, but it turns out that I’m generally a terrible person, burn me at the stake. And no one remembers that they once acted dishonestly towards me. I can’t come to terms with this state of affairs in the world...! Of course, many changes have happened, and now it has become much easier to communicate with people than before, but as soon as I feel injustice, I immediately become some kind of warrior... Relationships with those whom I love and appreciate very much are collapsing, for the same reason reason. I understand that if this continues, I will simply lose everyone. I already only have MCH left, with whom we have been together for 3 years, but even from him I don’t feel what I give him. It’s just that all my life I’ve been misunderstood, I’ve always been a loner at heart, having a bunch of friends... Please advise me how to change my attitude towards people and not expose the bitter truth, which is so unpleasant for people to hear...
Hello Elsa! Do not confuse TRUTH with CRITICISM AND EVALUATION! You tell people Your assessment, criticize them and reject them, this is YOUR TRUTH, YOUR PERCEPTION. And every person has their own! Your perception, because the TRUTH for YOU is only an assessment of others through Aasha’s prism of perception. BUT THERE IS NO TRUTH IN THE PUREEST FORM! Everyone has their own truth! It’s worth thinking about why you only operate with these settings in your life? What does this give you? What are you afraid of in a relationship? More like disappointment and beating! But you are disappointed not in people, but in your expectations, and then you blame people for the fact that they do not correspond to your template, rejecting everyone around you. You also cannot evaluate yourself, consider yourself only TRUTHFUL, understand where your assessment is, where your perception is and stop dressing all people, the whole world with this blanket of your values and attitudes. The more you expect from people, the more disappointed you will be. People need to learn to ACCEPT, and realize where THEY are, and where YOUR perception of them is! You are at the beginning of your journey, you have motivation, so there are chances that you will be able to separate yourself from others and build constructive, non-evaluative relationships, and begin to accept people without fear of disappointment. Contact a psychologist in person. You need to start working with your boundaries, analyze the very style of building communication with others.
Shenderova Elena Sergeevna, psychologist Moscow
Good answer 3 Bad answer 0Elsa, in your situation it is advisable to maintain a balance of “sincerity - politeness”.
Aggression is hidden behind excessive sincerity - in the process of communication, others feel this and try to either avoid communication or react aggressively in the same way.
Excessive politeness leads to the fact that a person “steps on the throat” own desires and does not show true feelings, which can have a detrimental effect on health.
The best option is to talk about your feelings and desires.
This can be done in the “I am messages” format.
Read about it here: http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/for-the-family/school-partnership/message
Sincerely, Svetlana Kiselevskaya, psychologist, master's degree.
Good answer 2 Bad answer 0Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: There are people who like to tell the truth. Everyone. No request. Tell someone that her legs are crooked, someone that she’s a bad cook, someone that she should go to a psychologist. Most often such people are women; men are more indifferent to details.
Stop telling everyone the truth about everything
There are people who like to tell the truth. Everyone. No request. Tell someone that her legs are crooked, someone that she’s a bad cook, someone that she should go to a psychologist. Most often such people are women, men are more indifferent to details. Although I know one man who has what is on his mind and on his tongue. And he regularly says to his subordinates:
You've gotten old somehow
Your hair is stupid
You look like you're drunk
You're kind of fat
Your dress is terrible
And so on. And everything is in between. First about work - then such a compliment - and then again about work. His employees are, of course, shocked. And who wouldn’t be shocked by this? Although in some ways he is right. In my own way.
Is this kind of truth-telling compatible with femininity? What about harmony? Love? As a person who struggles with truth-telling within himself, I will say - definitely not. Doesn't fit at all.
Telling the truth is important. But the vector should always be directed towards itself. Tell the truth about yourself. Because you don’t know the truth about others and you can’t know. Before you condemn someone, you need to go through his path from beginning to end. To understand and pass through yourself.
When we forget that the truth is only important about ourselves, different things happen. Scandals, quarrels, misunderstandings.
A wife who describes her husband's responsibilities is right in everything. And he speaks the truth. But the relationship is destroyed. Because that's not the truth she should care about.
A mother who gives her daughter feedback that she is new guy- an idiot, he is right and speaks the truth. But does this improve her relationship with her daughter? Does this make the mother more respectable and trustworthy in her daughter's eyes?
A friend who, in response to your tears, diagnoses you and tries to therapy you without asking, is also unlikely to remain your friend for long. Because it is difficult, impossible to communicate with such people. Like in a minefield, don’t say anything unnecessary so as not to run into trouble.
What about with strangers? It's all the same with them. She told the truth and moved on. If you don't know about karma, it looks beautiful. But if we remember that all the feelings of other people will return to us, it becomes clear that it will not pass.
Trolls who think their comments online will go unpunished are mistaken. There is a higher justice, and every tear of another person will be returned to you. From another place, but will return. Everything is accurate in the universe.
Every time I started telling the truth to someone or got involved in such clarifications, I always got hit in the face. Illnesses – yours and your children’s, quarrels with your husband, financial losses. I didn’t always correlate one and the other.
There was a period in my life when, having read a lot about psychology, I “treated” everyone. I told my friends what problems they had with mom and dad, what complexes they had. Sometimes it was shocking. A friend comes to put up wallpaper, and I “treat” her in the meantime.
Did it have an effect? No. Because resistance turned on in the person. And even my very good “truth” did not reach me. And the truth is, it always seems good and correct. To the one who wants to express it. But for the one to whom it is spoken, it is most often painful and unpleasant. Therefore, such truth-telling destroys relationships.
What is the general purpose of this behavior? Why do we want to tell everyone the truth? And to whom do we say it more often than others?
1. Pride. If I catch someone else doing something, then I become cooler. If I tell someone else something that he doesn’t see, I’ll be smarter, cooler and all that. I'll feed my false ego. I will be like the Lord God.
2. The desire to increase your self-esteem. And the more important in a certain environment a person about whom I “know” the truth is, the more points of self-esteem I can get. Therefore, they usually attack famous people(Vasya Pupkin is usually indifferent to everyone). And in our marathon only the most popular ones are attacked.
3. Envy.Usually, the more envy I have of someone, the more truth I want to tell about him. It’s not immediately obvious what exactly I envy, but it’s always there.
4. Negative emotions. In order to become happy, you need to get rid of the accumulated burden of negativity in your heart. But how? What if there is no culture of conveying emotions? If you can’t block it inside? If astrological exacerbations occur, when does it pour out everywhere? I have to pour it out. Where it seems safe. On the Internet, for example. Fill different sites with your bile, for example. So feminists go to my site and curse at me, foaming at the mouth. They just want to be happy.
5. Own pain Not everyone wants to tell the truth. And to someone specific, in a specific situation. Why? Yes, because it resonates strongly. You can already think about it, fantasize, and draw conclusions. Only the conclusions will be about me, and not about the one to whom I say this.
6. The myth that being right brings happiness.
Where does this idea come from? That he is only happy if he wins. And winning always means that someone will lose. Someone needs to be defeated by me for me to be happy. But this model is not for women. It’s not a woman’s business to win. We must learn to love. And love and rightness are too conflicting concepts.
Right to Ignorance
Each of us has the right to ignorance. If you see something bad in a person, this is not a reason to open his eyes. Everyone has the right not to know. Do not see. Everyone has it. By depriving a person of such a right, you create a conflict. So stop giving unsolicited advice to others.. Stop psychotherapy without asking. Stop telling everyone the truth about everything.
Most women who are offended by their mothers are offended precisely for this. Because their right to ignorance was trampled upon. That they were constantly given feedback on the principle of “who else will tell you!” About crooked legs, big ears, crappy character, laziness.
It is this desire to be right that infuriates most men in their wives. Tell the truth to the last word It remains for her to argue, to prove. Any man can be driven to breakdown by such behavior. Anyone. If you prove for every reason that he is wrong, poke him into shortcomings, shortcomings and responsibilities. This can ruin any relationship.
Because each of us has the right not to know. When we want to know something, we can ask. Ask for advice. Ask feedback. And sometimes we do this. But only with those people who do not tell the truth for any reason or without. We will only come for advice to those we trust and respect. These are completely different people.
Which allow others to be different. Which allow others to make mistakes. They accept and forgive. Even if they see what could be improved and changed.
A wife will achieve great changes in her husband if she stops talking about his shortcomings and focuses on his strengths. A mother who gives her daughter a sense of emotional security will remain her best friend. A daughter who accepts her mother as she is will one day be able to feel how her mother loves her.
But what to do if the truth is seething inside and demands to be expressed right here and now? Directly to this person?
I want to reassure you - we are all sick. And if the truth is seething inside you and wants to speak out, then it's about you. And not about the person to whom you express this. That is, it’s worth stopping and thinking - why do you want to tell this particular truth and this particular person? What does this say about me?
Because if you speak out, you will receive aggression. Hidden or overt, it depends on the relationship with the person and his internal capabilities work with aggression. And this aggression towards you is justified. Because you are depriving a person of the right to ignorance.
But with us it’s usually like this: I’ll tell you the truth, and let you accept and reflect. Or don't accept it, it's up to you. My job is to dump everything out of myself that is bothering me, and you sort it out yourself. And what usually gets in the way is that it doesn’t smell very good, so we overwhelm everyone around with such things. But if we get aggression in response, then that means I was right. I am white fluffy, and you are twice bad. You need to change, work on yourself.
Not this way. Still not like that. I take away with my truthfulness your right to ignorance, because something bad is seething inside me. And it’s seething because it’s MINE. My trauma, my dirt. Not yours. You are a tool. Mirror. And when I take this right away from you, you show aggression. And I deserve it. Not because I hit the mark, but because that’s who I am. All my truth was not about you, but about me.
And there is no need to delve into other people's lives, who deserves what. Let's delve only into ours. How I destroy relationships and worsen my life in general with my truth-telling. What do I constantly see in others that is really about me?. Let's remember that the most terrible pride in blaming others for pride. Looks nice though. And the most “trump” manipulation is to accuse the other of manipulation.
Therefore, let's learn to see the logs in our own eyes, and not poke others at their straws. We are girls after all.
And of course, a question arises. But we also have the right to tell the truth whenever we want? If they have the right not to hear, doesn't that mean I don't have the right to speak? But here it is useful to remember that our freedom ends where the freedom of another begins. You shouldn’t go to someone else’s monastery with your own rules.
Although there are people who can do this. And it will be for the benefit of both. Who can speak the truth without asking others?
1. Wife to husband. If she serves him. If she respects him, honors him. If she is faithful to him. And if she says all this softly and tenderly. With love. IN right time and in the right circumstances. That's how many conditions there are.
2. Husband to wife. If he gives her protection on all levels. If he cares about her. If he says it softly and with love. If he respects and appreciates her.
3. Parents– provided that they provide protection to their child, including emotional protection. If there is trust and respect between parent and child. Then, by choosing the form of presentation, you can tell the truth.
4. Mentor. Provided that the person chose the mentor himself and trusted him. Even a psychologist or astrologer has no right to tell a person what he was not asked about, can you imagine?
But here too the form is important. If the truth is spoken with love in the heart, it is easier to accept. It cannot be rejected because it is out of love. And not out of pride, envy, anger, or the desire to be cooler. This kind of truth heals. Only like this. And I have seen teachers who know how to communicate with the world in such a way. But they can only do this because they have love inside them. Love, not everything else. Love that comes from Above.
The price for truth-telling is enormous. Broken relationships, negative emotions of people around, inability to develop and progress. Inability to love. The inability to truly open your heart.
For me this price is too high. But everyone ultimately chooses for themselves whether to be right or to be happy. Happy people don’t prove anything to anyone, don’t teach anyone about life, and don’t give advice without asking. published. If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to the experts and readers of our project .
No matter who we communicate with: relatives, friends, colleagues, loved ones - from time to time situations arise that put us in front of important issue. And it consists of the following: “Is it worth expressing your true opinion regarding a specific action, decision, or what is happening in general?..” The question can also sound directly: “Should I reveal the truth or not?” In any case, in such a situation, there is a lie on one side of the scale, and the truth on the other. And before you do that important choice, you need to figure it out, understand what is better...
Why don't they like the truth?
There is one wonderful expression that allows you to practically feel the disgusting essence of truth for many. It is familiar to everyone: “The truth stings the eyes.” Why do most people have a painful reaction to something honestly voiced by their interlocutor, even if it is a native and close person, a point of view relating to something directly related to the victim of this very truth?
Everything is very simple here. Any of us would be pleased to receive positive assessment own actions, qualities, positive feedback about people he cares about. In other words, we are glad to have a friendly, loyal attitude in all aspects with a “plus” sign. The truth is nothing more than focusing attention on our shortcomings, unpleasant moments of life, behavior, on what we already have, to put it mildly, like a bone in our throat. Do you really believe that people who are told the truth to their face do not know about its existence and presence? They may not be aware only in some cases, but they probably at least subconsciously guess about the true state of affairs, feel it on an intuitive level. So why should they inflict an additional blow, cause pain, suffering? These frequent companions of the truth will inevitably reveal themselves sooner or later, because the secret ALWAYS becomes clear, so let someone else become the messenger, not you.
The exception is cases when, having discovered the truth, it is possible to restore justice in this way. And then the truth will be for the benefit, although not of the liar, but of the victim of circumstances. However, there are some nuances here too...
Why are they afraid of the truth?
Indeed, many people feel fear of her - of course, again depending on the specific situation. The reasons are more than weighty and prosaic: a person, contrary to common sense, prefers to live in illusions, dreams, independently invented, his own truth, than to delve into the true state of affairs.
After all, if he did this, his usual existence could easily be destroyed. From the truth that sounded like thunder among clear skies, couples break up, disappears strong connection“children-parents”, the trust and authority of the individual is extremely undermined, often forever. Under the weight of the truth, a person becomes depressed, loses faith in himself, his strength, God and a better, brighter future. White suddenly turns black, the bright fades before our eyes, the important loses all meaning...
Truth in the eye can be the reason sudden death person. By the way, there are many such cases. There is a proverb: “A white lie.” And another says that “the bitter truth is better than sweet lie" However, as you can see, it is no better, since it can lead to death and instantly turn what has been built over the years into ruins. A person, realizing this, often grabs onto a lie as if it were a saving straw, and pushes the truth away from himself, pushes it aside. Thus does own life more positive, and there is nothing surprising or bad about this.
Truth teller motivation
Now let's try to put ourselves in the shoes of the person taking the position telling the truth into the subject's eyes. How does he explain his own adherence to principles? this issue? What are his motives? What makes him act this way and not otherwise?
Firstly, education. It is likely that the truth-seeking parents taught from childhood not to play around, not to deceive, but to always tell only the truth. They called it honesty and instilled in their child that without this quality you will not deserve either respect or a good, worthy environment. They were right, of course, but they didn’t voice the nuances. The child took everything literally as it was.
Secondly, truthfulness may be an innate character trait. There was an unbending truth-seeker in the family, and by inheritance this quality passed on to one of his many descendants. Game - or joke? – nature, and genes, as we know, are powerful things.
Thirdly, conscience. It does not allow a person to act differently: to lie instead of voicing the truth. Conscience gnaws and torments the truth-seeker if he decides to reveal, conceal the truth, or simply remain silent. As a result, there will be no next act of lying.
Fourthly, telling the truth to a person’s face is probably driven by the conviction that he has thus performed a good deed. He sincerely believes that by pointing out their shortcomings to others, he will help these people become better. There is, undoubtedly, a rational grain here, but to be honest, it’s not the most reliable way eradicate human vices. It can be disguised, presented on a beautiful dish in a chic wrapper, you can use subtle hints– in this form, the method works flawlessly. But the truth is... Well, this is somehow too much.
What does this mean?
Any action necessarily has consequences. This rule is not spared by straightforwardness.
The truth, spoken to your face, can ruin even the most a good relationship. A person who has had everything they think about him “thrown in his face” can simply turn into the sworn enemy of the author of the tirade.
The truth in the face spoils the reputation of a straightforward person. Such a person will be bypassed on the tenth road, knowing about this inherent quality. No one will have the desire to establish a close relationship with this subject, especially a romantic and serious one. Indeed, who wants to hear everything about themselves in an exclusively negative way?
The truth in the face can traumatize a person morally, mentally, psychologically. In view of this, he may commit some crazy act, including suicide. How will you live with this, because there is no one to ask for forgiveness?
Here are the most compelling arguments that sound far from being in favor of straightforwardness. However, one should not think that honesty is always a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes it improves mood, dispels fears, saves human lives and relationships, helps to make a fateful decision in time and avoid making a global mistake. They - truth and lies - you just need to be able to mix, compare, combine and do it in time, depending on the situation right choice. Good luck to you!
Nadezhda Ponomarenko
Hello my dear readers and blog guests! The truth is, it would seem, very simple thing. But it is given to almost everyone with great difficulty. Lies are very easy to tell, their consequences are rarely too severe, and the temporary benefits are obvious. In addition, ordinary fear most often forces people to lie. Therefore, since early childhood they get used to it. The trouble is that no one needs honesty always and in everything. People around them deceive each other out of self-interest, and out of the best intentions, and for salvation. Nevertheless, the spoken lie brings with it more and more new streams of it. In the end, a person gets tired of this and still has to tell the truth.
The need to stop lying
People lie most often when:
- talking to superiors;
- talk about their successes;
- promise something to the wife or mother;
- give an obligation to complete some work on time and with high quality;
- hide their mistakes;
- make excuses to their partner;
- refuse an invitation;
- change;
- talk about love, etc.
Sooner or later, most people have to take the path of honesty.
It will be quite difficult to do this the first time, but with each new truth expressed it will become easier, and soon it will become commonplace.
It is advisable to start saying it small. For example, in response to the question: “Do you like dogs?” You can safely answer: “No, I’m afraid of them.” Nothing bad will happen. The person himself, having taken the first step on the path to the truth, will understand that the expressed truth does not bring with it any catastrophe.
Very often people are afraid of offending others and tolerate what is unbearable for them. Or you can simply say: “I don’t like tobacco smoke, let’s not go to this bar.” Your friend may be disappointed, but it is much more important to protect your health than to try to please everyone.
By becoming honest, a person will feel calmer and will stop worrying about the consequences of lying. He will be able to free a large number of internal energy, previously used to suppress negative emotions associated with the need to tell lies. Because if the lie is revealed, it turns out to be a huge blow to his reputation.
In personal relationships, the acquired habit of not hiding anything from each other will significantly strengthen the relationship, create genuine intimacy and fall in love with each other more deeply.
The first steps towards eliminating lies
- You can first try to express some truth in complete solitude. For example, about the fact that you don’t want to go to the theater because you’re tired, and not at all because you were urgently called to work. Listen to your words and discover that there is nothing wrong with them.
- Next step you need to do it with your interlocutor. He talks about something to everyone known situation. The other is tormented, but pretends that he is very interested. He sees him sour expression face and is offended, mistaking him for bad attitude to yourself. Therefore, it is better to immediately say: “You know, I have already heard about this, it is very interesting.” Then the conversation will take a different direction and everyone will be calmer.
- If you are hired, you should not tell lies about yourself. No need to say that there is a skill to work with the most sophisticated technology, English language studied to perfection and there is an opportunity to linger after graduation working day. All this will be revealed immediately and upon completion. probationary period The contract will most likely not be extended. It is possible that this is not at all important for the employer, and he simply asks questions according to a given pattern.
- In personal relationships, you shouldn’t get into the jungle of lies either. A man tells a woman that he wants to marry her. In fact, he doesn't even think about it. His girlfriend says she loves him so as not to lose her partner. The relationship takes on an increasingly false form, hurting both. Therefore, when asked whether there will be a wedding, it is better to answer that it is too early to talk about it.
- A special case represents lying out of pity or compassion. Of course, it is unacceptable to tell another person that he looks bad today or is wearing an ugly and unfashionable suit. But at the same time, you don’t have to be particularly zealous in lying. In order not to offend your interlocutor, it is advisable to simply remain silent or answer a direct question that today you have not yet had time to look closely at him.
How to learn to tell the truth
There is also whole line situations where you can be honest without hurting yourself or others severe stress. Simply say:
- I'm late today because I overslept, sorry, it's last time;
- I made a mistake in the calculations, I’ll correct it now;
- I didn’t succeed, I’ll try again;
- I won’t be able to come to visit you, because I need to go to the other end of the city, and today severe frost. I'm afraid of catching a cold;
- you offended me greatly with your words;
- I forgot to buy bread;
- I don't like sleeping with the light on. Maybe you should go read in the kitchen?
- I changed my mind about going to your mother;
- I'm sorry, but I won't marry you. I still need to think;
- I don’t like it at all when they don’t immediately give me a receipt for a purchase;
- this dress model does not suit me at all, please choose another one;
- no, I don’t need the seller’s help, I want to inspect everything myself;
- I don’t like it when people swear in front of me, etc.
You need to understand that this is not the beginning of a scandal or showdown, but a simple statement of facts.
It is possible that the boss will not be furious at all because of the lateness, but will only slightly scold the employee, especially if this happened for the first time. In any case, a completely calm and business-like atmosphere will be created. This will be much better than piling up tall tales about a sick grandmother or an accident.
If you make a mistake, you should also not aggravate everything by lying and try to hide your mistake. When the truth comes to the surface, it can lead to very unpleasant results, including dismissal. Therefore, it is better to immediately admit your guilt and correct it as soon as possible. People around us understand that this can happen to anyone. Although it will be unpleasant for them, they will accept the need to wait a little to get the correct data.
There is no need to try to become a lover of truth and a truth-seeker. Absolutely no one needs this. It is simply desirable to make sure that there is less and less lying around and it gradually ceases to be the norm of life.
The criterion may be the understanding of what exactly the person himself would not want to hear from another, and what he would tolerate, even though it would seem unpleasant to him. Accordingly, regulate the degree of honesty in your words.
More interesting articles
Quite by accident I came across an article on the Internet. The article already has a fairly long shelf life. You could even say that she has a beard, but right now she came in handy. I think this is because this is an eternal theme - honesty.
Honesty and... personal branding. In the past, branding was mostly corporate. And now personal branding sometimes turns out to be much more important than the company brand. What is the relationship between personal branding and integrity? Directly. Because when you build your brand, you can't be honest people and you find yourself in your own trap. And in order to get out of there, you need to start telling people the truth again. But the truth is that people don't really like honesty. And this applies to both the business world and the personal environment. What would happen if you suddenly started answering questions honestly and telling them how you really were doing?
Which friend is better: the one who will tell the truth, because he cares about his friend, or the one who will remain silent or say that the choice of a life partner/work/new home/tie is even nothing, as long as he likes it? As practice has shown, the one who assents or shrugs is better. And the one who answers the question honestly turns out to be an enemy.
The same goes for work. If you are building your personal brand, then you must be successful: publish beautiful pictures with beautiful and successful (or maybe with both separately) people in beautiful places; give comments in fashion magazines; periodically star in front of cameras and delight their fans with photos on Instagram and Facebook. And no one is at all interested in knowing, it’s even harmful to know that you really hate being photographed, that you’re already tired of giving comments, or that you want to stay as far away as possible from those with whom you constantly appear in photographs?
But you can't do that because then you will lose the respect of the public and your customers. You will lose your own brand and, as a result, money. But it’s also difficult to endure this for a long time, and sooner or later a person experiences breakdown, because he constantly lies to himself and others.
It's like signing a contract with a company - you can't talk bad about it as long as you work with it. But as soon as the contract expires (or you yourself break it with all the ensuing consequences), you become free again and can finally express your real feelings to the brand they worked with. But breaking a contract with yourself is much more difficult.
What will happen if you suddenly start telling everyone the truth? And it will be a lot of fun! Believe me, I know what I'm talking about ;)
People will stop talking to you
If you start telling the truth, be prepared for some people to stop talking to you. This could be your family, your friends, your colleagues and your investors. Prepare for the fact that your environment will change dramatically and this applies to both real people, and your “friends” on social networks.
When you tell the truth, it's hard not to offend someone. But it is also known that only those who benefit from it are offended. If a person is honest with himself, it is very difficult to offend him. You can only cause him bewilderment by your actions.
People may think that you have decided to take your own life.
Imagine what will happen if you start writing only the truth to your feed? Most likely, if the day has been difficult, each post will resemble a suicide note or it will clearly contain signs of manic-depressive psychosis.
People will start to think you're crazy
Reading your posts or communicating with you personally, many will begin to have a completely natural question: “Are you crazy?!” It is quite possible that they will begin to ask this question to your friends or family and be interested in your general mental state. Someone can kindly recommend a good psychoanalyst.
People will start to get scared
People will start labeling you. Some will say that you are just trying to stand out from the crowd and be “different from everyone else” (city crazy or mad genius- who will figure it out?). Some will call it an upstart. Telling the truth is not a completely natural behavior for modern people. Homo sapiens, and no one likes it when someone stands up at a company meeting and starts telling the truth about what's wrong. In general, few people like it when they tell the truth about obviously unsuccessful things.
People will start to find you funny
After people around you get used to what you say, some will even find you funny and people will slowly start coming back to you. They will be wondering what this madman will come up with this time? And, most importantly, they will be confident in the 100% truthfulness of what you write or say. You will become almost the only source of “uncensored” news for them. You will become something like a series that is difficult to tear yourself away from, only cooler.
After the stage of getting used to it and getting used to it, people will begin to trust you. Because they will know for sure that you will tell them the truth and not sing in their ear beautiful stories just to sell something. They may not like you, they may even be afraid of you, but they will still come for advice. You can become something like last resort, King Solomon in his settlement.
You will become free
And the last, most pleasant stage - you will become free from your golden cage of your own brand and build yourself a new brand that will have no boundaries. If before, you didn’t say what you really liked or what you really thought about this or that issue because you were afraid of not pleasing someone or losing friends, now you can safely say what you really think. Because there will be people around who like you precisely because of their personal preferences, and not because you agree with them just to please.
And it will definitely become easier for you, because now you won’t have to keep track of what you wrote, or what you wore, or who you now appear with in photographs. You are you. And there are those people next to you who love you, value you and trust you precisely because of this.
Honesty should not be confused with outright rudeness and rudeness. This freedom does not mean that you can say nasty things left and right. This freedom means that you can now build your personal brand on trust, make yourself better, and learn to be responsible for what you say.