And I saw what kind of guys grew up from such boys - they are either mama's boys who are not able to take responsibility for themselves, or louts who do not care about representatives fair half humanity. A soft character is also found in those in whose families the woman was the main one (as in my case), and I don’t hide the fact that I have such a character, and I’m proud that I have such parents who gave me a lot in this life. much.
But the point is different; finding your soulmate in this case is not easy. Few people like it, romance is now a priority. And many have to hide under masks, so as not to remain in, pretend to be, so to speak, a superhero, naturally not being one in reality.
You know, this stereotype that a person with a soft character is not capable of anything is very annoying. There is no need to equate everyone to a single whole, all people are different and each has their own advantages and disadvantages. For example, if a person does not get into a fight at the first opportunity, this does not mean that he is weak and cannot stand up for himself and his girlfriend, as many people think nowadays. I can give myself as an example; in my life I fought only twice, and that was because it was impossible to do otherwise, since all weighty arguments had been exhausted.
In fact, guys with such a character have at least one significant advantage - they will become excellent fathers, since they can easily find mutual language with children, and will always love and appreciate their chosen one, so you can hardly expect meanness or betrayal from them.
P.S. I haven’t posted foreign music for a long time, so today I’m posting a song Ramzi ft. Ash King – Your Love Is Blind, and a video for the song.
What do we gain by giving up our softness? Nothing. A man does not perceive us as weak woman, but is fighting with us on all fronts, whoever knows how - lying on the sofa or with a bottle of beer in best case scenario. Men have many methods of dealing with a woman, you know them firsthand.
It is very difficult to love a woman who is tough, principled, teaches everyone and tells everyone how to live. Of course, men live with such women, but they don’t like it!
The softer we become, the more courageous and firm the man next to us becomes. We don't need to copy male strength, we have our own. Our strength is soft, delicate, gentle and warm. By becoming this way, we give a man the opportunity to feel stronger, bigger, more competent and more courageous. A man loves to feel a sense of strength and power.
We begin to develop softness. It should manifest itself in everything - in your appearance, in your hair, in your speech, in your voice, in your demeanor, in your gait, in your thoughts, etc.
Let's start with the simplest thing - with appearance. Although I think many will encounter difficulties here too. Firstly, you should move away from rigid shapes, suits, trousers with arrows, classic and too straight skirts, jeans. Choose softer and easier to drape fabrics, as well as natural fabrics: knitwear, cashmere, silk, wool. Also use clothes with ruffles, frills, frills, and embroidery. The color scheme is also important; you can take a closer look at pastel, light and calm tones. This will also add femininity and softness to your look. . And also use jewelry and jewelry, various hairpins and beads.
A few words about hairstyle. When do you think a woman looks softer - with short hair or long flowing curls? You like long hair? For men, yes. It's very beautiful and feminine. I will definitely write a separate article about this. To avoid missing out, subscribe to my newsletter.
Gestures and facial expressions. Of course, a smile will add softness to your facial expressions. A smile makes your eyes look lighter, brighter and kinder. And it might be worth keeping an eye on the gestures. Let them also be softer, calmer and smoother. And over time they will become graceful.
Speech. There is no need to explain how important this is. A woman who swears and screams can hardly be gentle. Not to mention rude words and mate, it is believed that swear words destroy female energy.
Also pay attention speech timbre and speed. It is worth listening to your voice, how gentle and soft it is. Perhaps he will be strict at times, but he should never be rude, metallic or rigid. To make your voice more feminine, there is such a simple exercise: you can imagine a delicate white flower at the base of your neck.
And of course, if you don’t argue and prove that you’re right, your voice won’t have to become harsh. “Irresistible women are willing to let go of the need to always be “right.” M. Forleo.
Topics of conversation – they should also be just as soft and feminine. Leave conversations about football, cars and business to men. It is important to learn to calmly listen to your interlocutor. Ears are a passive female organ, they must work. Learn to listen without jumping to conclusions or judging.
Home furnishings. And in your home you need to add softness and comfort. Change the curtains, buy pillows, a warm blanket to wrap yourself in winter evenings, imagining how much softer you are becoming day by day.
A soft woman is able to calm, give a feeling of comfort and peace. Through feminine softness, masculine hardness passes without encountering resistance.
Remember, male strength blossoms next to female softness.
Dedicated to this quality whole lesson at the Women's School. Read more.
Tatiana Dzutseva.
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Gentleness as a personality quality is the ability to feel people’s needs, not be angry with anyone, and experience peace even in difficult situations.
A wanderer was walking along a narrow road in northern Spain and saw a peasant lying in a garden. “You’re crumpling flowers,” a passerby remarked to him. “Not at all,” he answered. “I’m trying to gain tenderness and softness from them.”
Mechanical times give birth mechanical hearts. Many spiritual traditions predicted this, poets wrote about it: “Someone offended the weak and laughs, someone turned out to be a coward and whines, but the nylon heart does not bubble, and the nylon heart does not hurt. No, guys, it’s definitely not for us to live without seeing or hearing anything, even if there is a heart made of nylon - we will teach him to worry.” But, speaking metaphorically, “there are still women in Russian villages” who have a soft heart beating, unable to “live without seeing or hearing anything.” A soft heart is responsive to people, it sincerely empathizes with their feelings, and is alien to condemnation and accusations. Everything that is vulnerable causes a response of gentleness - sympathy, support, approval, tenderness, caring and affection.
Gentleness makes strength more generous, subtler, kinder, and helps weakness strengthen its inner strength, self-confidence, gives peace of mind and actions. N. Shelgunov writes: “Courage usually goes along with gentleness of character, and courageous man more capable of generosity than others.” One can envy a gentle person - he has experienced and continues to feel the unforgettable taste of happiness that appears through selfless activity, the desire to help people, guided only by the voice of the heart.
Once at my friend's house, people got stuck in the elevator. It was Saturday evening. The problem was that kids from a neighboring boarding school started visiting them on the ninth floor - it was warm in the entrance, you could smoke and chat with the girls. It is clear that such “guests” were not liked by the residents, especially those living on the ninth floor. And so, by chance, they found themselves in an elevator trap. As luck would have it, their phone died, they couldn’t call the emergency service, and no one answers the emergency button. Frightened by the prospect of sitting in the elevator until Monday, the elevator “hostages” began knocking, screaming, and in short calling for help. A friend walked up to the elevator door and said gloatingly: “Gotcha.” Amazing. Sit for a couple of days, and on Monday morning, around seventeen o’clock, “the shackles will fall, and freedom will greet you joyfully at the entrance.” Freedom will be in police uniform." The wife remained silent, but it was felt that she was uncomfortable and uncomfortable. Meanwhile, the friend continued to mock the prisoners: “My neighbors and I consulted, and the thought came to us: “Why let you out on Monday? We are warm, hospitable people. Live to your heart's content. For the sake of a good cause, we walk. We will serve you water through a straw. We are not greedy. But with food it’s more difficult. You’ll have to fast for a couple of weeks, but you’ll cleanse your body and lose weight.” An hour later, my wife couldn’t stand it: “I feel sorry for them. We need to call for help, otherwise it won’t be for them, but for me.” The friend remained silent, but it was clear that sympathy had awakened in him. The wife got dressed and went to the next street to the house where the emergency service was located. When the elevator doors opened, everyone was amazed - an elegantly dressed young man came out of the elevator with a bouquet of flowers. He mixed up the entrances to the house. There was no end to the gratitude. My friend's wife was happy. This is the taste of happiness of a soft heart.
Gentleness frees a person from rudeness, straightforwardness, embitterment and bitterness. Softness, both on the physical and subtle planes, is the opposite of hardness. In a soft voice, with soft gestures she skillfully builds relationships in the family, smoothing out conflicts and subtly bypassing “ sharp corners" Gentleness abides by laws happy life. One of them is the “law of fifteen minutes.” Every woman should know him. It’s easier for a soft woman - she feels it with her heart. What does it consist of?
Most men go early in the morning to prove to society that it owes him money. External world is in no hurry to fork out money, so the whole day passes in tension. By evening, he is already like a spent lemon, from which he is not able to squeeze out even the slightest drop. strong man in the world, except perhaps a tax inspector. A few hours before returning home, a person has a desire to swallow something and just lie down somewhere, lie down for a while. His wife meets him in this state. He smells pleasant smells coming from the kitchen and sees the coveted sofa. The tension reaches its maximum level. He went to this through all the obstacles of the day. It would seem that the goal is close, but a new obstacle arises - his beloved wife, who says: “Don’t rush into the reeds. Let's talk first." And off we go: “Why? How? Where? When? Why? Where? When?". A man who has shown restraint and restraint all day, controlling his words and actions, relaxes at home, but when he sees a new obstacle in the face of his wife, he flares up and breaks down in a rude cry. “Don’t yell at me,” the wife shouts, “Yell at your subordinates.” In a word, a scandal begins and the evening is ruined.
The beloved wife, without showing gentleness, turned into an irritant, into an enemy, into the last barrier before the realization of natural desire. The law of “fifteen minutes” says: when someone comes home from work tired and hungry, it is forbidden to talk about anything. First, feed him and place him on something flat. IN folk tales This law is constantly voiced: give them something to drink, feed and put to sleep, and then ask. When a person has eaten and lies down comfortably, he will be happy to answer all questions. You still can't stop it. Gentleness always emphasizes an attentive attitude to the needs of another person, his intentions and desires; it touches people and inspires them with its respect. Gentleness of heart is the desire for everyone to feel good.
Gentleness understands that interpersonal relationships consist of rituals, and puts his heart into them. People often get divorced due to not knowing how to behave when meeting and when parting. These moments are extremely important for a relationship. Gentleness invests in them love, tenderness, affection, sincerity, kinship, goodwill, in a word, a lot of positive feelings and emotions. When parting, two rigidities say: “Well, I drove” - “Well, drive” - “Well, I went” - “Well, get out” - “Well, I came” - “Well, since you’ve already come, come in” . Rigidity does not make you feel needed and important for another person. Only softness gives a person the feeling that another person is not comfortable without him. As in the song, softness gives invisible signals: “Without you, everything became unnecessary without you, from sunset to dawn without you, how I need you, my beloved.”
A perfect illustration of the benefits of softness serves Amelia from Vanity Fair: “The people who made up narrow circle Amelia's acquaintances were annoyed by the enthusiastic reaction to her from representatives of the opposite sex. Almost all young people, seeing her, fell in love, although, undoubtedly, they could not explain why this happened. She wasn't bright or witty, wasn't very wise or particularly attractive. But wherever she appeared, she impressed and charmed every man as constantly as she constantly aroused disdain and a sense of skepticism in her rivals. I think that she fascinated her mainly with her “weakness,” a certain “readiness to submit” and “gentleness,” which touched in the men she met along the way their desire to protect the weak.”
Peter Kovalev
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Manifestations of Gentleness and what is a Soft Heart?
A soft heart, responsive to people, it sincerely empathizes with their feelings, is alien to condemnation and accusations. Everything that is vulnerable causes a response of gentleness - sympathy, support, approval, tenderness, caring and affection.
In popular sayings there is such a thing - Meet and see off with a Soft heart. In our memory, this evokes certain images, usually very close ones, which left such a memorable image. These are usually women who have a soft heart and are always desired and loved.
The material world and technological progress give rise to merciless mechanical hearts
Gentleness always emphasizes an attentive attitude to the needs of another person, his intentions and desires; it touches people and inspires them with its respect. Gentleness of heart is the desire for everyone to feel good.
Gentleness creates Strength and Generosity, helps strengthen one’s inner strength and self-confidence, and gives peace of mind in thoughts and actions.
Courage and courageous actions are very often combined with and a courageous person is more capable of Generosity than others.
One can envy a gentle person - he experiences and feels the unforgettable taste of Happiness that appears through selfless activity, the desire to help people, guided only by the voice of the heart.
Who are the Soft People?
Only people who are hard and hard can be truly soft. Strong character. The most common form of softness in modern society- Imaginary Softness. Most often this is a different concept, it is simply Weakness, which easily turns into Bitterness.
Gentleness frees a person from rudeness, straightforwardness, embitterment and bitterness
Softness is very important for harmonious family union. Gentleness builds a subtle relationship between two Loving friend friend, both on the physical and subconscious levels.
Softness is the opposite of hardness. Gentleness makes strength more generous, subtle, kinder, and helps weaknesses strengthen their inner strength, self-confidence, and gives peace of mind in thoughts and actions.
When someone comes home from work tired and hungry, it is forbidden to talk about anything. First you need to feed the person, let him rest, and then ask. THIS IS A CLASSIC OF LIFE that we all sometimes forget about! The beloved wife, without showing gentleness with her Husband, turns into an irritant and an Enemy, receives irritation, anger and negative emotions accumulated over the whole day.
The simple truth is to let irritability and negative events go to the liver and kidneys for the natural disposal of these negative Hormones.
How to behave when meeting and separation
Break up and meet and the true manifestation of Gentleness. These are correct interpersonal relationships, which consist of certain rituals in which the Heart and Soul participate.
These moments are extremely important for a relationship. Gentleness invests in them Love, Tenderness, Affection, Sincerity, Relatedness, goodwill, in a word, a lot of positive feelings and emotions.
Rigidity in relationships prevents you from feeling all the need and importance of a person.
Only Gentleness gives a person a feeling of Need, that without him another person feels bad. The feeling of Need and the desire to give a piece of yourself is the first condition for generating Happiness in the family or in society.
Gentleness is the first condition for the state of Happiness
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What to do if the lady you adored went too far and began to behave - how can I put it more precisely? - dismissively. He stops taking you into account, takes less and less into account your desires and problems... Moreover, all this can be accompanied by the most sublimely amorous rhetoric.
Some comrades advise in the name long term relationship become henpecked. Like, you will be happy. But the point is that a henpecked man is happy only if he doesn’t realize it. I consider the call to change one’s own nature, its deep, essential core, to be deeply demagogic. If God has gifted you with a gentle character, then this is forever. Working on an already established character may not be suitable for those who have it tailored to certain life tasks which he can perform brilliantly. There is a risk that if you begin to break your character in the name of abstract future firmness with women, you will lose something important in yourself (I state this speculatively, I have not tried either of these). In my deep conviction, a man’s life tasks are more important than any, even the most best women. "First of all, the planes..."
It seems that we can try the “from riches to rags” model. A kind of “preventative lowering”. Since it is obvious that the relationship is at an impasse, and subsequently they will only wipe their feet on you more and more, then you need to disappear from the life of the lady of your heart. No calling, no writing... Then the continuous Occam's razors begin.
1. If she really loves, she will probably show up soon. Will he be worried about where you went? It can't be that loving woman I didn’t start to worry why my beloved man disappeared. Maybe he was somehow offended by her? You need to make sure that she shows up first - only then can you impose your script, your game on her. If she doesn’t show up, then to hell with her, we need to look for the one who can’t live without us. In short, this point is the most best test for her love. And the most risky, at the same time.
2. When it appears, you must under no circumstances lose the initiative. Don't behave as before. That is, do not make excuses for a long silence. We need to put the question squarely right away. Openly proclaim that you have a lot of complaints about her, but there is no point in voicing them, because (in fact, there really is no point in voicing them: in the ensuing discussion, she will probably begin to act in the tried and tested feminine way, highlight each of them and refute them, but we we are talking about a negative process as a whole). In general, do not arrange a showdown under any circumstances: the woman will probably arrange the matter in such a way that you will find yourself in the position of making excuses. It will be necessary to immediately postulate as firmly as possible that the relationship will continue, but on different conditions: now she will seek you, and you will care about her (in figuratively, of course) wipe your feet, even to the point of outright rudeness - depending on how bad the situation has gone, if it’s not far, then you can get by with light preventive measures. If he agrees, we graciously accept him back; if not, we boldly send him to the garden. She failed the test of love and willingness to humble herself.
3. If she agrees. You begin to behave the way you want, not in accordance with her desires. If you meet me halfway, it will be after lengthy requests. Let him appreciate your former complaisance. The logic here is simple: if she needs you, she believes you, and understands that the trials will soon end, then she will endure all this, gritting her teeth. Again: what is so criminal on offer here? Not outright torture, but just maximum disregard for a person. After some time, you would be neglected in the same way. If she can’t stand it and runs away, it means that she didn’t need you on your own, as a unique personality, but something from you.
4. After some time, God willing, she will come to her senses and learn to appreciate what happened. If she can’t stand it and leaves, again, to hell with her. It’s not a problem to find someone who will be delighted at least at first, and arrange a celebration of life again. This point is especially important if your chosen one managed to make confessions to you at the beginning of the relationship, such as she had a GREAT LOVE with an EXTRAORDINARY PERSON before you (the same highly primative hero discussed in previous entries). So now let him prove that he loves you more than him. In word and deed. Or let him look for another extraordinary person...
5. If she survives to the end, then explain in detail that prevention will be resumed periodically. And in general, in the future, act according to the principle that preaches chigrishonok : A spoiled woman needs to be spoiled. If you marry her, you will certainly conclude an enslaving marriage contract, according to which she is a nobody in the event of a divorce. And so on... It's difficult, but, apparently, there are no options.
What else should you notice? A man with a gentle character should ask himself: what is the source of this gentleness? For example, mentally developed man may turn out to be a "feeling junkie." After all, it is known that the more you do for another person, the more you love him. And the “sensual addict” begins to serve the other person more and more in order to make his feelings as vivid as possible. He does not notice that in the name of his own vivid experiences he sacrifices the most important thing - relationships.
“Yes, from year to year, from day to day, you secretly expect only one thing - a happy love meeting, you live, in essence, only with the hope of this meeting - and all in vain...” The reason may be different: perhaps everything stems from too much loneliness: for years I couldn’t find a mate, I dreamed about her all day, I was starving without a full-fledged relationship, and then I got my hands on good man, well, and began to court with all his might and give in... In this case, this cyclical nature can destroy a man: he was hungry, then he suddenly got his hands on food. And then hunger again for a long time... So a person gives another a kind of “psychological bribe”, fearing that if something goes wrong, he will again be left alone for a long time. long years.
Never be afraid to be alone. If you don't have a woman, then you won't actually be alone, but with hope. Hope to meet true love. A person with hope is never alone. Only the cynic is lonely - the one who doesn’t believe in anyone, doesn’t hope for anything, and doesn’t know how to love anyone.