What to do if everyone hates you. What to do if they hate you: advice for different areas of life

What to do if they hate you? Do you consider yourself bad person? This means that it is quite natural that everyone will hate you. Why be surprised? You deserve it - you'll get it! Do you consider yourself a good man? Many even openly and completely sincerely tell you the same thing? Wonderful! But be prepared for the fact that even those who sincerely consider you a ray of light in this corrupt and embittered world will feel hatred towards you.

The whole point is that even the saints and the most good people in history there have always been “well-wishers” who hated them with fierce hatred.

No matter how much you improve yourself, grow personally and spiritually, there will always be those who do not appreciate your efforts and efforts in in this direction, with all his might, wanting to expose you and prove that you are definitely not who you are trying to pretend to be. So is it really possible to do nothing then and plunge headlong into all the serious things? Not certainly in that way.

WHAT TO DO IF SOMEONE HATES?

1. The more evil you do to others, the harder it will hit you, in one form or another, personally, on you, your children, grandchildren... You may not believe it, but for thousands of years people have repeatedly been convinced of justice this statement. After all, it’s unlikely that you, being in your right mind, would ask the question “why does everyone hate me” if you knew perfectly well that you were bringing nothing but evil to others. Conclusion: change yourself - then you will save yourself and your descendants from many of the problems that you caused.

But what to do when you really try to bring light and goodness to the world, but they do everything to ensure that you have little success with it? You can’t beat them down for the fact that they are simply used to hating someone, no matter - with or without reason... Change all ill-wishers? Perhaps, just don’t overestimate your strengths, since it will be incredibly difficult to do this, and all this energy could be used much more effectively for personal success.

There are 2 options for behavior. The only question is which one to choose as optimal in each individual case.

2. Not everyone is on the same path...

If you carefully analyze your immediate environment, you will most likely find that you are clearly not on the same path with all of them. Some “friends” simply don’t like you, while others outright hate you or can’t stand you.

What's the point of trying to pretend that you like them and you don't notice "anything"? Politely in your surroundings, you will certainly feel some inexplicable lightness in your soul and heart. After all, it is much easier to create and create when you do not feel constant discomfort when communicating with some “well-wishers” who are frankly irritated by your successes.

3. If, due to various reasons, it is not possible to do this in the foreseeable future, then, as far as possible, become as insensitive and thick-skinned as possible to the “important”. The majority, in in this case, this is a gray mass of slackers, onlookers and losers, some of whom hate you or dislike you, but with whom you get to somehow interact. If you can’t quickly transform them into a minority, then at least weaken their not very constructive influence on yourself.

You have a goal wonderful dream? So, go to it boldly, not paying attention to the angry hiss of those for whom it is clearly in their throats and, even more so, to whom it definitely will not add happiness when you reach it. Will they be upset about this? Their problems!

It is important to know one pattern: when someone hates you, he or she causes the greatest damage to themselves, in the form of gradually weakening health, provided that you yourself are not involved in this.

Question to a psychologist

Hello! My name is Sveta, I'm 15 years old.
It so happened that my childhood, and indeed this moment life didn't work out. I'm generally a loner.
I have an older brother, his name is Sasha (we are 1 year apart). He is the “favorite” of the family. Every time his parents forgive him for any mistake, rejoice at all his achievements, pay more attention to him, pamper him. With me everything is different. It happens more than once, my parents beat me for an absurd deuce, or for a remark on about behavior. When I succeeded in something (really, truly succeeded) - my mother and stepfather would close their eyes. They would nod, hum, “uh-huh” and supposedly everything was fine. My mother basically hates me, my stepfather is completely indifferent, he will sit in front of the TV and ask How is my brother doing, zero for me. When I feel bad, my parents don’t care either.
At school there are, and have not been often, terrible insults directed at me. Sometimes they even hit me. I never had a best friend or any friends at all. Recently a seemingly sweet girl came to our school. On the first day we had a nice conversation, she even gave me a treat. But the next morning, when this sweet girl and my classmates came to school, they mocked me. They tripped me up, insulted me, and teased me.
Everyone around me hates me. This leads to various depressions and crying at night. Although you can’t even cry normally, as soon as your mother knocks on the radiator, don’t disturb your sleep." Of course, I’m in a terrible situation, however, I’m not so stupid as to despair of suicide. Although I recently ran away from home, for about 5 days. I left for dacha. Just so that my beloved parents would show at least maternal and paternal instincts and would simply try to contact me. There were no calls (everything is fine with the connection). After I arrived everything was as usual. They thought I was with a boy. And they began to hate me even more, saying that I ran away to someone without collecting my things. There was hysteria.
All this was reflected in my studies. I got straight A's only in I.Z.O - fine arts.
I didn’t really want to contact anyone. And I don’t believe at all that you can help me and get me out of this state. However, I have no one to cry to. Help as much as you can.

Hello, Sveta!

First of all, I want to support you and say that your parents are wrong to do this to you. I understand that this will not change them in any way, but you can very well blame them for your problems.

Even though you're only 15, it seems like it's time to grow up and treat yourself and the actions of others like adults. That is, do not blame other people for treating you badly, but ask yourself: “What am I doing to be treated this way?” I’ll try to explain using your letter to us as an example: the essence of your message is that you are turning to us for help, but you don’t believe that they can help here. And this turns people off; you are unlikely to receive many letters. It’s the same in life: you seem to want communication, but you don’t trust people, one way or another letting them understand this. After all, they react aggressively to you for a reason; it means that some of your behavior causes this aggression in them. It's about reasons. What to do about it?

Essentially, you are right. No one but you can help yourself. The only thing a psychologist can do is support you, give you confidence that changes are possible and that this is a lot of work on yourself. We need to change our attitude towards people, despite the fact that the family environment is not conducive to trust and openness. It's best to look for free ones psychological trainings for teenagers and there they learn to communicate with peers in a new way. People can be completely different: friendly, open and kind. Then when you believe in them and in turn become like that. I wish you success and all the best! Sincerely. Yulia Arkadyevna

Good answer 1 Bad answer 2

There will always be individuals who, without a twinge of conscience, will show aggression and obvious antipathy towards you. Mostly, ill-wishers and envious people surround you in the workplace, because there everyone is fighting for a place in the sun and for the favor of their superiors. However, open confrontation is less dangerous and fraught with consequences than hidden threat. Surely you, too, may have colleagues who despise you, but remain with a diplomatic expression on their faces.

Why do you need to hide hatred?

Hiding true feelings in the workplace helps workers in behind-the-scenes intrigue. In a large group, people will never openly show hostility towards someone. They are simply afraid of getting into trouble or jeopardizing their own career. However, on the sly, such people are able to bring a lot of trouble to the object of their hostility. They love to commit mean things while remaining with an untarnished reputation, manipulate other people and talk behind your back.

“Aware means armed”

If you don't want to become part of a corporate intrigue, you should know some signs that a person has hidden hatred towards you. Advice from psychologists: even if you identify an ill-wisher, remain loyal to him. Don't avoid this person and remember the presumption of innocence. If you are sure that there are no envious people in the office, try to be sensitive to the needs of all your colleagues, be optimistic, welcoming and friendly.

Reliable strong connections with colleagues will be useful in the future. And healthy and strong relationship In the workplace, a relaxed, friendly atmosphere helps all team members be more effective and productive.

Healthy relationships in a team versus behind-the-scenes games

Business speaker Michael Kerr says this: When all colleagues treat each other equally well, everything becomes much easier. Each member of the team feels that there is a shoulder nearby that, if something happens, they can lean on. In any case, in a team with healthy relationships it is easier to ask favors from colleagues or receive favors. Moreover, people themselves will offer you a helping hand. We have now described ideal model relationships in the team. What to do if your workplace far from ideal, or do you suspect something is wrong? Here are 19 clear signs that your coworker secretly hates you.

1. Your intuition says it.

Perhaps it's just an obsession. However, most often our intuition does not let us down. If you think that someone dislikes you, it may well be true. In any case, a person may treat you completely differently from how he treats other members of the team. And it gives you a lot to think about.

2. He doesn't smile in your presence.

Now we are not talking about bad day or a sudden change in mood. If your colleague systematically or consciously does not smile in your presence, then something is going wrong.

3. He can't maintain eye contact with you.

Psychologists say: it is difficult to look someone in the eyes if you do not have warm feelings for the person or, at least, respect. Have you noticed that one of your colleagues avoids talking? eye contact with you? They are simply afraid to show hostility towards you in their gaze. Such people follow the path least resistance: turn away or avoid you.

4. Your colleague is avoiding you.

Sometimes strange situations happen. You enter the elevator and notice a co-worker walking behind you. You wait for him, but he prefers to go up the stairs. He's avoiding you.

5. He spreads rumors

This unprofessional behavior is unfortunately not uncommon in the workplace. A person only likes to spread rumors about people he really doesn't like.

6. He doesn't notice your presence.

When you come to the office, this person will never tell you " Good morning" He won’t even stoop to the duty officers, nothing meaningful phrases. This ignoring may also be evidence of his dislike.

7. The person answers questions too dryly

Of course, he will not be able to ignore your questions. Corporate ethics does not allow this. Ask such a person “How are you doing,” and in response you will hear a short “Fine.” If you receive business correspondence from such a person, be sure that it does not begin with a greeting.

8. He sends nonverbal negative signals.

When such a person sees you, he may involuntarily look away or grimace and roll his eyes. He is constantly closed to you: his arms are intertwined and his legs are crossed. Also, your colleague may deliberately not take his eyes off the monitor the moment you enter the office.

9. He never invites you to social events.

You will never expect such a person to invite you to a business lunch or corporate meeting.

10. A colleague has a habit of communicating via email.

Even if you are in the same room, it would be an unaffordable luxury for him to approach you with a request. He will simply send you a letter to email. Have you noticed a shift in communication towards the digital format? This is a sure sign.

11. He constantly disagrees with you

All your ideas are perceived with hostility. Very often such a person may not allow you to finish your sentences. He interrupts you and has his own point of view on everything. Even if he understands what you suggested great idea, he will never deviate from his principles. His hatred is too strong.

12. This person is not interested in your personal life.

Your colleague can chat casually during a break with other colleagues about his personal life, family and children. Only in conversations with you he never brings up these topics. He simply doesn't care about your personal life.

13. You are not one for casual conversation and jokes.

This person can spend hours amusing other colleagues with casual jokes and anecdotes. Only friendly laughter is always heard behind your back. You are not one of the elite. He just doesn't feel comfortable around you.

14. He steals your ideas

Seeing you as a competitor, such a person will try to draw attention to himself. Therefore, at every opportunity, he will use your ideas and pass them off as his own.

15. He takes on unauthorized power.

Such an employee may give himself powers that do not exist. For some reason he decided that he could give you orders.

16. He creates factions

You may feel like you're in one of the Mean Girls scenes. You will never be part of one of the office groups.

17. You can't trust him

You share information with your colleagues for review, but this person can always use the received data against you.

18. His favorite method of interaction is defensiveness

You feel that a deep wall of mistrust is growing between you and this person. Or your colleague is doing nothing but building defensive redoubts around himself. No less than he prepared for the Cold War.

19. Your job is not a priority for him.

Another big sign, eloquently indicating that your colleague does not like you. Your worries and problems will never be at the top of his list of priorities. He will never treat your work with the same level of urgency as other colleagues.

What to do if everyone hates you?

Hello! My name is Sveta, I'm 15 years old.
It so happened that my childhood, and in general at the moment, my life did not work out. I'm generally a loner.
I have an older brother, his name is Sasha (we are 1 year apart). He. "favorite" of the family. Every time his parents forgive him for any mistake, rejoice at all his achievements, pay more attention to him, pamper him. With me, everything is different. It happens more than once, my parents beat me for an absurd deuce, or for a comment about my behavior When I succeeded in something (really, truly succeeded) - my mother and stepfather closed their eyes. They would nod, hum, "uh-huh" and supposedly everything was fine. My mother basically hates me, my stepfather is completely indifferent, he will sit in front of the TV and ask how things are going. my brother has zero for me. When I feel bad, my parents don’t care either.
At school there are, and have not been often, terrible insults directed at me. Sometimes they even hit me. I never had a best friend or any friends at all. Recently a seemingly sweet girl came to our school. On the first day we had a nice conversation, she even gave me a treat. But the next morning, coming to school, this... sweet girl" and my classmates mocked me. They tripped me up, insulted me, and teased me.
Everyone around me hates me. This leads to various depressions and crying at night. Although you can’t even cry normally, it’s almost as if your mother immediately knocks on the radiator. don’t disturb your sleep." Of course, I’m in a terrible situation, however, I’m not so stupid as to despair of suicide. Although recently I ran away from home, for about 5 days. I went to the dacha. Just so that my beloved parents would at least show maternal and paternal instincts and would simply try to contact me. There were no calls (everything is fine with the connection). After I arrived everything was as usual. They thought I was with a boy. And they began to hate me even more, saying that I ran away to someone without collecting my things. There was hysteria.
All this was reflected in my studies. I only got A's in visual arts - fine arts.
I didn’t really want to contact anyone. And I don’t believe at all that you can help me and get me out of this state. However, I have no one to cry to. Help as much as you can.

First of all, I want to support you and say that your parents are wrong to do this to you. I understand that this will not change them in any way, but you can very well blame them for your problems.

Essentially, you are right. No one but you can help yourself. The only thing a psychologist can do is support you, give you confidence that changes are possible and that this is a lot of work on yourself. We need to change our attitude towards people, despite the fact that the family environment is not conducive to trust and openness. It is best to look for free psychological training for teenagers and learn to communicate with peers in a new way. People can be completely different: friendly, open and kind. Then when you believe in them and in turn become like that. I wish you success and all the best! Sincerely. Yulia Arkadyevna

It should be pretty obvious when someone hates you, right? But before you enter into real conflict make sure someone's hatred is sincere. These steps will help you determine if someone hates you.

Steps

Think back to the last social event you attended with this person and ask yourself next questions: “Did he say anything rude, disdainful or derogatory to me?” “Was he annoyed by the fact that I was talking to him?” “Does he feel more contempt for me than mercy?” If you answered “yes” to all of these questions, then this person probably hates you, but read on to be one hundred percent sure. Relationships are rarely simple.

Notice how he behaves. If he feels comfortable and comfortable only in your surroundings, then there is a chance that he does not feel contempt for you. For some reason, he is probably simply ashamed to openly communicate with you in the company of his friends. Test his behavior in different environments. Perhaps there is no hatred as such; rather, he is biased and imaginary towards you.

Does he act up a lot? If he treats you well one day and badly the next, and other people treat you without respect when they are in a bad mood, then this person is simply capricious, and he has chosen you as an easy target for expressing his flirtatiousness .

Are you an intentional victim? Don't become a victim. Unless you have done something bad to this person, there is no reason on earth why you deserve punishment from him. Therefore, address him directly and loudly in front of everyone else next time. Don’t take a defensive posture, act fragile: “Why does it seem like that to you? This dress belonged to my mother, she died exactly a year ago.” After this, even if he hates you, no one around him will share his point of view in the future. If you have somehow offended this person, then approach him and ask for forgiveness. Nothing will happen to you if you admit your mistake. If you can't be friends, then at least agree not to treat each other badly.

Don't try to please everyone. You will always have friends and family, but not everyone will like you, and not everyone will like you.
Don't let him influence you badly due to hatred or anything else.
Make sure this person really hates you before you do anything.
Don't create drama.

Warnings

Don't pay too much attention to him. If he hates you, then even so, perhaps he is simply not worthy of your friendship.
Don't start arguing for no particular reason. If possible, avoid any confrontation.
Don't let anyone's hatred encroach on the peace of your heart. Forgive and forget.

Misanthropy is slow suicide.

(Friedrich Schiller)

Hatred - strong feeling dislike for another person, oneself, dissatisfaction with life or circumstances. People are capable of hating both their own body and the whole the world. The most powerful and destructive feeling is hatred of one’s own kind.

Sometimes hatred arises at one moment as a result of some actions or statements of another person, sometimes anger accumulates for years, eventually turning into a burning, irresistible feeling that is almost impossible to cope with.

Hatred is a destructive feeling. It gives people a lot of energy, which cannot be directed towards anything positive. Hatred craves ruins and scorched earth, the grief of others.
Hatred primarily harms the one who hates. The hater is exposed to its destructive effects. Many illnesses, both physical and mental, are caused by this terrible feeling.

Judge for yourself, it’s huge negative energy literally bursts you from the inside at the sight of the object of your anger or even the mention of it. At the same time, you most often cannot show your emotions in all their intensity, you have to restrain yourself. Where does the energy go? That's right, it penetrates inside, destroying everything in its path.

Feeling that it is impossible to live like this anymore, people begin to think about how to stop hating. Hatred will not go away on its own; this must be firmly understood. To cure hatred you need to work for a long time, every day, every hour. If you are a believer, turning to God and confessing will help.

Often people think that stop hating they can only if the hated person dies. But this rarely brings relief. Upon learning that the man they had grown and nurtured to hate dear years, died, they relax and realize that they even feel sorry for him. The grievances seem small and insignificant. And then a person has, after spending half his life in hatred, to spend the second half tormented by a feeling of guilt.

Meanwhile, having spent a lot of time hatching plans for revenge or simply constantly thinking about the object of hatred, from this very object, the hater simply loses the meaning in life. No matter how scary it sounds, this really happens.
Therefore, if you experience such feelings, you need to try with all your might from him, stop hating.

Without claiming the laurels of a specialist psychologist, I still want to give some advice, or rather, even indicate the direction in which you should try to move. In my time this method help me.

How to stop hating. Step One: Find the Reason

Hatred cannot arise on empty space, although sometimes when asked why we hate a person, we can answer that we are annoyed by his very presence on earth, we hate him simply because he exists.

In fact, there is a reason for hatred and it is extremely specific. Another thing is that it can be completely insignificant, and over time we can even forget about it. But the anger will remain. Often it is the understanding of the insignificance of the reason that helps a person stop hating.

Maybe the person you hate said or did something that made you angry and completely rejected you. Or maybe you hate your boss who pesters you every day with nagging. Or is it a relative of your husband or friend (whom you cannot refuse to meet) who behaves completely unacceptable to you? Find out the reason and it will be easier for you to take the next step.

How to stop hating. Step two: put yourself in his shoes

The other person, as surprising as it may sound, may not even be aware of your hatred. He may do something without knowing how it affects you. Moreover, those around you are not even aware of your attitude towards him. Why would they suspect something was wrong if you are overly kind and attentive to the object of your hatred? It is the hated person who causes us increased attention and the desire to be pleasant. After all, our goal is to hide our feelings and not allow emotions to break through.

As a result, we get what we get. All you need to do is talk to this person, ask him to change his behavior, think about his statements. How many internal conflicts was decided in this way!

But it also happens that, putting yourself in his place, you understand that he does nasty things, in your understanding, only out of a desire to annoy you. He is well aware of your feelings and makes you angry so that he can enjoy the manifestation of your emotions or watch with pleasure your attempts to suppress them in yourself.

Why is he doing this? Yes, simply because he likes it. Apparently there are some reasons, most often complexes, that prevent him from establishing normal contacts with people, or attracting attention to his person in some other way.

Maybe you hate the person who committed bad thing. Think about why the person did or is doing this. Did he do something terrible? What would you do in his place? Do you think you could do the same in similar situation? Maybe you will understand that an unsightly act is simply a manifestation of the weakness of that person.

So I bring you to the next step.

How to stop hating. Step Three: Try to Forgive

As we have seen, nasty actions and words are most often caused by the fact that a person is weak and follows the lead of others. own weakness. No matter how insidious he may look, this is most often a weakness.

It is this thought that should help you forgive him and calm down. It’s easy to say: “Forgive!”, but how to do this if you hate with all your heart? If the mere thought of this person tightens the stomach, it is impossible to eat or sleep, and yet thoughts constantly revolve around the object of hatred.

There is one simple exercise that can help you. the main idea- Every person has a soul. She is innocent and beautiful, like a child. So imagine this person in the form of a small child. It may be difficult, but there is no contradiction in at this stage you shouldn't feel it. After all, the object of your anger was once really a baby, he had loving mom and dad, he was naive and touching.

Imagine that this child continues to live inside this person. He is scared and unhappy, he closes his eyes every time the “master” says nasty things to you or provokes you. Have pity, let him know in your voice, intonation, that you know about him, feel sorry for him, and are ready to support him.

This does not mean that when unpleasant person, you should approach him, knock on his chest and say something like: “Hey, baby, I know you're there.” No, just talk to the person as you would talk to a child. Don’t be fooled by provocations, feel sorry for his little pure soul, instead of hating.

To many, this exercise may seem stupid and useless. That is until you try. This technique I used it on myself at one time. The hatred for the man was so strong that I even began to treat his relatives badly because they tolerated him and even managed to love him.

The object of my hatred harmed me, said nasty things, did dirty tricks. Moreover, he didn’t even enjoy his victories, he didn’t care, he just believed that he had the right to do this, well, simply because he didn’t like me.

Only after understanding the situation, highlighting specific reasons, finding out what exactly supports my hatred and trying to understand why he behaves this way, I saw what reasons he had (albeit unfair, but understandable), I understood why he does this (simply because other methods are not available to him, as he is the easiest to do). I was able to forgive him for his own imperfections, stupid complexes, I was even able to regret it.

The process was slow, it was quite difficult, but I tried to perceive the person as a kind of experimental object, to distract myself from my hostility at least for a while. Then I was able to see the baby in him and talk only to him.

As a result, we have had peaceful relations for the last few years. The man stopped plotting and saying nasty things and even treats me with some warmth. I didn’t love him with all my soul, it’s simply impossible, but I perceive him normally, without anger or hostility, and I don’t grit my teeth when he comes to my house.

I don’t claim that this method is a panacea, but in not too advanced cases, with your strong desire, of course, it can work. I really hope it helps someone stop hating, and there will be one less hater in the world.

If you cannot cope with yourself, and your hatred is so great that you cannot tame it for a while in order to at least analyze the situation impartially, it is probably better to turn to a specialist.

Alexandra Panyutina
Women's magazine JustLady

What to do if they hate you? Do you consider yourself a bad person? This means that it is quite natural that everyone will hate you. Why be surprised? You deserve it - you'll get it! Do you consider yourself a good person? Many even openly and completely sincerely tell you the same thing? Wonderful! But be prepared for the fact that even those who sincerely consider you a ray of light in this corrupt and embittered world will feel hatred towards you.

The thing is that even the saints and the kindest people in history always had “well-wishers” who hated them with fierce hatred.

No matter how much you improve yourself, grow personally and spiritually, there will always be those who do not appreciate your efforts and efforts in this direction, wanting with all their might to expose you and prove that you are definitely not who you are trying to pretend to be. So is it really possible to do nothing then and plunge headlong into all the serious things? Not certainly in that way.

WHAT TO DO IF SOMEONE HATES?

1. The more evil you do to others, the harder it will hit you, in one form or another, personally, on you, your children, grandchildren... You may not believe it, but for thousands of years people have repeatedly been convinced of the truth of this statement. After all, it’s unlikely that you, being in your right mind, would ask the question “why does everyone hate me” if you knew perfectly well that you were bringing nothing but evil to others. Conclusion: change yourself - then you will save yourself and your descendants from many of the problems that you caused.

There are 2 options for behavior. The only question is which one to choose as optimal in each individual case.

2. Not everyone is on the same path...

3. If, for various reasons, it is not possible to do this in the foreseeable future, then, as far as possible, become as insensitive and thick-skinned as possible to the “important”. The majority, in this case, is a gray mass of slackers, onlookers and losers, some of whom hate you or dislike you, but with whom you get to somehow interact. If you can’t quickly transform them into a minority, then at least weaken their not very constructive influence on yourself.

Do you have a goal, a wonderful dream? So, go to it boldly, not paying attention to the angry hiss of those for whom it is clearly in their throats and, even more so, to whom it definitely will not add happiness when you reach it. Will they be upset about this? Their problems!

It is important to know one pattern: when someone hates you, he or she causes the greatest damage to themselves, in the form of gradually weakening health, provided that you yourself are not involved in this.

Hello everyone, readers of my blog!

The mood went downhill - I decided to try myself here. I will write and share my opinion about famous saying Mourinho" If you love, That You-good, If you hate, That You-best!"

Probably 99 percent of the people reading this now have not achieved what Mourinho achieved. And this is not an insult, but a fact. In my opinion, Mourinho is the BEST coach in the history of football. This scoundrel who is Hated has achieved everything he can. He knows how to take pressure off players and transfer it to himself. He can change the formation right during the game and play closed football, and then open up and completely finish off the opponent. In short, if you play against Chelsea tactically, it is very, very difficult to beat this team. But we will talk about his psychology and perhaps we will reach our goal - to understand what is going on in the head of this genius.

Judging by his biography, we can say that he literally proved this statement throughout his career. At first he just lifted clubs and won trophies with him, but now he does the same thing, making statements that make many people boil. They start to hate him. I asked people who support Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal. They just consider him a terrible coach and tactician. But they're just funny! I won't say how many trophies Jose won and why they shouldn't say that. Please note that he seems to be deliberately, and in some places he is, to arouse hatred among those around him. This is an insane coach and I can't stop praising him.

After finishing his playing career, Mourinho began coaching, first joining the coaching staff of various Portuguese clubs (working most under the leadership of Bobby Robson). He himself comes from a football background. He is the son of football goalkeeper Felix Mourinho. In the entire history of his coaching career, he coached 12 different teams. Not bad huh? And it's easy to guess that more than a half these clubs are incredibly grateful to him.

The winning percentage of teams under his leadership is 67 percent.

What was I leading to? I call on all fans of Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United, MS, etc. understand and stop writing some nonsense about Mournya. You don't make him angry in any way, he just enjoys it.

Guys, write your opinions. Don't judge strictly - I wrote it in a hurry after watching old Porto matches. If it comes in, I’ll write every day. Thank you.

Mourinho on himself: “I like to test myself. When I started working with Porto, they had not won anything for many years. When he moved to Chelsea, he had not won the league for 50 years. Inter have not won the Champions League for 45 years. Challenges like these give me motivation...

When everyone hates you, it is very difficult to cope with it. Many people become depressed and despairing when they realize that they are being treated inappropriately. How to change the opinions of others, and what should be done?

Reasons for hatred from others

Very often hatred arises from acquaintances and friends for one simple reason - envy. Of course, many people are envied, especially when everything is going well in their lives, and everything is so bad and unsuccessful for the envious person. In such a situation, there is literally one step from envy to hatred. If others hate a person simply out of envy, you shouldn’t be too upset. Overcoming such obstacles over and over again, a person can achieve what he wants and fulfill all his dreams.

Another reason why human hatred arises is misunderstanding. Very often, creative units are subjected to public pressure, faced with the most ardent manifestations of hatred. If public opinion is so strong impact, it’s worth talking to at least one of those who hate the person. Perhaps such a conversation will help clarify the reasons public opinion and find ways to deal with it.

Of course, many creative units, on the contrary, try to cause public discontent and hatred with their behavior. The fact is that they consider hatred to be an excellent way of PR. With the help of people's distrust and condemnation, you can attract attention for a very long time. Many artists, singers and writers actively use this. Just remember that popularity, supported only by public attention, is short-lived. It will be difficult to feed universal hatred for a long time, which means that a person will soon lose the sweet rays of glory.

If you are hated, it seems that everyone around you will be happy about the defeat and failure of the person. This is a huge stress, which is incredibly difficult to cope with. Sometimes, due to public condemnation, a person loses his last shreds of self-respect and ceases to believe in his own strength.

The reasons for universal hatred may lie in the wrong behavior of the person himself. For example, he may often tell lies or cause alienation due to his desire to prove intellectual abilities. Many people are too clever, tell lies and mislead everyone around them, and because of this they are really hated and tried in every possible way to discredit them. Before accusing everyone around you of being biased, you should understand yourself, try to analyze your character and your behavior. What to do if everyone hates you, and because of this it is difficult to find friends and even a job? In such a situation, you should study in detail the features and nuances of your behavior, and also contact a psychologist if the case is completely advanced.

Most often, people can cope with the problem on their own if they have the desire to do so. You shouldn't worry too much about social hatred. It is much more important that in a person’s life there are a couple of people who love him, despite all the mistakes in his behavior. The love of these people is more important than the condemnation and hatred of millions of others.

What to do if they hate you is an incredibly difficult question. Psychologists are developing a lot of programs with the help of which a person can become the favorite of any team. Before starting to implement this or that program, it is worth using the simplest method to combat universal hatred. This method is called “looking from the outside.”

All you need to do is make an appointment with the person who has always been rude and hateful. In a restrained tone, it is worth asking him what the mistakes of behavior are, whether it is possible to find the reasons for universal hatred. If such a problem arose at work, you can get the opinion of several team members. If there is a specific reason for universal hatred, they will definitely name it. This could be a lie in which a person was caught, arrogant behavior, and so on. If team members do not name one specific problem and say in general terms, then their hatred may consist of elementary envy. Nothing can be done here. They usually envy the best, those who succeed in all spheres of life. If the reason for universal hatred lies precisely in envy, then we need to rejoice!

What to do if you are hated at school or university? If the dislike of peers concerns only curriculum, then the cause of hatred may again be envy. Most often, those students who are hated are the ones who always do well in their studies and are the favorites of the teachers. Of course, they often don’t like those students who often jump out of their seats and become clever. Here it is important to begin to control yourself and answer only when a person is completely confident in the answer.

Quite often in school or student team They don’t like students who put themselves above others, try to be responsible for everyone, and so on. You need to restrain yourself in such situations, be guided by the principle that all students are in equal positions and should have equal chances of answering. Here it is also better to talk with the entire team and find out their opinion about the current problem. If you approach the decision rationally problematic situation, you can overcome all difficulties and become the soul of the team.

What to do if they hate you but don’t say anything to your face. Very often in a team they are embarrassed to say in person about their unfriendly attitude. However, this is felt in behavior, in spreading rumors behind one’s back, and so on. Of course, it can be very difficult to tolerate such behavior, and it is better for a person to immediately deal with the problem. Perhaps he once accidentally uttered an unflattering phrase or somehow joked incorrectly, and now, because of this, everyone is prejudiced against him. Having dealt with the situation, you will be able to correctly and correctly resolve it in your favor. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding among the team members, which gave rise to hatred.

Sometimes a person feels hatred and prejudice from a group of friends. Perhaps they suddenly begin to communicate with a narrow circle of acquaintances, without inviting the person to general parties and events. The company may also start spreading unflattering rumors, which will only prove their hatred. In this situation, you should think not about how to regain the company's favor, but rather about whether such people are needed by the person. When people, after a few moments of friendship, begin to hate you, this indicates their low personal qualities. Despite all the mistakes in life, friends should understand and support each other. This is the same reliable, vital rear that should not fail in any circumstances. If friends suddenly begin to hate someone, it means that the person does not need such friends. It is better to find a company where a person will always be supported and understood.

Sometimes general condemnation is caused by mistakes in your personal life. For example, if a girl starts cheating on her boyfriend and his friends find out about it, she may face universal condemnation. The girl must either come to terms with this state of affairs and not pay attention to it, or try to explain herself. Sometimes it is very difficult to cope with temptation and give up cheating. If it was a momentary mistake, then friends must understand and forgive each other. If the previous relationship did not suit the person much, then this could become objective reason for treason. Having explained things to acquaintances and friends, a person will resolve the problem in his favor and show his own adult attitude to life.

When everyone around you hates you, it seems that finding a job or getting a job personal life It's simply impossible. Often, universal hatred is only a product of a person’s low self-esteem. Due to life problems or bad childhood, a person believes that he is unworthy of a better attitude towards himself. Moreover, he thinks that everyone around him condemns him, considers him a worthless worker and an uninteresting interlocutor. As a result, self-esteem slides even lower, and all the people around seem to specifically treat the person with skepticism and deliberate hatred.

Of course, these are just stupid prejudices. They can't just hate everyone around them. Most likely, a person screws himself up because of unnecessary complexes and far-fetched shortcomings. To cope with such a specific attitude, you need to consult a psychologist. He will tell you how to overcome the problem and regain love for yourself. When a person loves himself, and people around him begin to treat him better. In such a person you feel confidence and good spirits, he is independent and free, you want to communicate with him. A psychologist will definitely suggest ways to combat low self-esteem. There are many options here, from self-impact on self-esteem to professional intervention.

Sometimes a person thinks that any mistake he makes becomes a reason for hatred from others, although no one even pays attention to it. This is also a product of low self-esteem, which should be addressed immediately. If a person is so insecure, he will never be happy in the future. That is why, for the sake of your own happiness and well-being, you need to begin an active fight against own complexes and cockroaches already now.

Quite often people are tortured by hatred and basic indifference. By the way, living with indifference is much more difficult, because it seems that a person is unworthy of any reaction, whether positive or negative. It is important here to draw boundaries and boundaries between hatred and indifference. If everyone around is indifferent to a person, then this is even more difficult, because people, most likely, do not experience absolutely any emotions. If a person does not evoke any emotions in those around him, then he is boring, uninteresting, passive. It is almost impossible to cope with such a reaction from others. It is much easier to fight hatred, even in its most extreme situations. That is why there is no need to despair at manifestations of universal hatred. Ways to combat universal dislike huge variety. A person can qualitatively solve all the problems associated with hatred in a team and become the soul of the company. He just needs to make a little effort and regain public trust and love.

Generalizations and conclusions

It is sometimes easier to win back the favor of a crowd than one person. If you want everyone around you to stop hating you and suddenly love you, it’s worth putting at least some effort into it. For example, you can work on your behavior, think about the mistakes that were made. Sometimes a person himself does not notice how he begins to introduce himself incorrectly. He speaks too pretentiously, lies too openly and tells everyone about it.

You can return everyone's favor with the help of elementary psychological advice. In most cases, they very effectively fight against the dislike of society. Psychologists advise listing on a piece of paper your possible shortcomings that may cause public dislike. Next, it’s worth analyzing them and deciding how to deal with them.

You can also ask advice from others, find out why they have dislike and condemnation. It is quite possible that with biased attitude You can cope, but to do this you need to work on your character. The main thing to remember is that there are no insurmountable problems, especially for those people who want to develop and change.

Dealing with hatred is not at all difficult, unlike general indifference. By making at least a minimum of effort and working on his character, a person can change his own destiny for the better.

Hatred is a strong feeling, it does not arise spontaneously, it is impossible not to notice it, and it is very difficult to get rid of it. Another thing is that people often experience completely different feelings, calling them hatred.

How to tell if someone hates you

In fact, most people are capable of subconsciously feeling the hatred experienced by another person. It is reflected in your attitude towards you, in every gesture and look. Therefore, it makes sense to turn to nonverbal communication. See if the person makes eye contact and how they talk to you. If your jaw is clenched during a conversation, and your smile (if there is one) looks strained, you can make a preliminary conclusion that they at least dislike you. At the same time, they say that the words of these people are literally saturated with poison, they speak harshly, rudely, even if they say completely neutral things.

Causes

A separate topic is manifestations of hostility on the part of a group of people. Here it must be said that collectively people do not like those who stand out from general ideas about how a representative of a certain society should look, behave and think. Deep reasons It may be envy, which arises if a person stands out for his talent or appearance among others or, for example, dissatisfaction with behavior (admit to yourself whether you have ever had to offend people in some way, ridicule or set them up).

What to do to correct the situation

When you have decided on the reasons for hatred, you need to determine a strategy for behavior in this situation. In fact, there are several ways to respond to hostility:

Ignoring. You leave everything as it is and simply do not pay attention to the current situation. Such an attitude is possible if the hostility of this person (people) does not affect you and does not interfere at all effective interaction.
Confrontation. You also begin to hate and do everything to harm. Life according to the principle of “blood for blood.”
Conformism. You try with all your might to please people who dislike you, curry favor with them.
Cooperation. In this case, it will be expressed in the fact that you admit your wrongdoings if you are really guilty, and your “enemy” does the same, and in the future you are in the relationship in which you are comfortable (it is not necessary to start loving each other).

Of course, from the point of view psychological health and constructive behavior, last method considered most suitable. However, no one obliges you to start a dialogue right now. To begin with, you can tune in positively towards the person, for this you can try to say a few affirmations, and stop feeling disgusted towards him. You will see that gradually his attitude towards you will change.

It should be pretty obvious when someone hates you, right? But before you enter into a real conflict, make sure that someone's hatred is sincere. These steps will help you determine if someone hates you.

Steps

Think back to the last social event you attended with this person and ask yourself the following questions: “Did he say anything rude, disparaging, or demeaning to me?” “Was he annoyed by the fact that I was talking to him?” “Does he feel more contempt for me than mercy?” If you answered “yes” to all of these questions, then this person probably hates you, but read on to be one hundred percent sure. Relationships are rarely simple.

Does he act up a lot? If he treats you well one day and badly the next, and other people treat you without respect when they bad mood, then this person is simply capricious, and he chose you as an easy target for expressing his coquetry.

Don't try to please everyone. You will always have friends and family, but not everyone will like you, and not everyone will like you.
Don't let him influence you badly due to hatred or anything else.
Make sure this person really hates you before you do anything.
Don't create drama.

Warnings

Don't pay too much attention to him. If he hates you, then even so, perhaps he is simply not worthy of your friendship.
Don't start arguing for no particular reason. If possible, avoid any confrontation.
Don't let anyone's hatred encroach on the peace of your heart. Forgive and forget.

Misanthropy is slow suicide.

(Friedrich Schiller)

Hatred is a strong feeling of dislike for another person, oneself, dissatisfaction with life or circumstances. People are capable of hating own body, and the whole world around us. The most powerful and destructive feeling is hatred of one’s own kind.

Judge for yourself, huge negative energy literally bursts inside you at the sight of the object of your anger or even the mention of it. At the same time, you most often cannot show your emotions in all their intensity, you have to restrain yourself. Where does the energy go? That's right, it penetrates inside, destroying everything in its path.

Often people think that stop hating they can only if the hated person dies. But this rarely brings relief. Having learned that the person for whom they grew hatred and cherished them for dear years has died, they relax and realize that they even feel sorry for him. The grievances seem small and insignificant. And then a person has, after spending half his life in hatred, to spend the second half tormented by a feeling of guilt.

Without claiming the laurels of a specialist psychologist, I still want to give some advice, or rather, even indicate the direction in which you should try to move. At one time, this method helped me too.

How to stop hating. Step One: Find the Reason

Hatred cannot arise out of nowhere, although sometimes when asked why we hate a person, we can answer that we are annoyed by his very presence on earth, we hate him simply because he exists.

How to stop hating. Step two: put yourself in his shoes

As a result, we get what we get. All you need to do is talk to this person, ask him to change his behavior, think about his statements. How many internal conflicts have been resolved in this way!

Maybe you hate the person who did a bad thing. Think about why the person did or is doing this. Did he do something terrible? What would you do in his place? Do you think you could have done the same in a similar situation? Maybe you will understand that an unsightly act is simply a manifestation of the weakness of that person.

So I bring you to the next step.

How to stop hating. Step Three: Try to Forgive

As we have seen, nasty actions and words are most often caused by the fact that a person is weak and follows his own weakness. No matter how insidious he may look, this is most often a weakness.

There is one simple exercise that can help you. The main idea is that every person has a soul. She is innocent and beautiful, like a child. So imagine this person in the form of a small child. It may be difficult, but at this stage you should not feel any contradiction. After all, the object of your anger was once really a baby, he had a loving mom and dad, he was naive and touching.

This doesn't mean that when an unpleasant person appears, you should approach him, knock on his chest and say something like, “Hey, kid, I know you're there.” No, just talk to the person as you would talk to a child. Don’t be fooled by provocations, take pity on his little pure soul instead of hating him.

To many, this exercise may seem stupid and useless. That is until you try. I used this technique on myself at one time. The hatred for the man was so strong that I even began to treat his relatives badly because they tolerated him and even managed to love him.

Alexandra Panyutina
Women's magazine JustLady