Harmony is what makes human life happy. But you can achieve a harmonious and fulfilling life only if you love yourself as you are, accept and make friends with yourself.
Many people believe that loving yourself means becoming selfish. However, a negative attitude towards one’s personality leads to an inadequate level of self-esteem, constant reproaches and criticism addressed to oneself, dissatisfaction with oneself, and people around them begin to treat the person the same way.
Learning to appreciate and respect yourself means becoming successful and happy. This becomes a reason to change something, to learn how to love yourself. But the advice of a psychologist will only be useful if you are ready to work on yourself and change.
“Pamper yourself like the person you love” - this is the advice given by Louise Hay, the author of many famous books on popular psychology. And this recommendation from a psychologist can be considered the first step in achieving the goal - learning to appreciate, love and respect yourself, and accept your personality.
Before you begin to actively develop the ability to value yourself, do one simple exercise. Take a piece of paper and draw a vertical slanted line on it. Place a dot in the place on the line where you would put yourself. Results:
- A dot in the middle (or near) means the optimal level of self-esteem. Such a person loves himself, but does not forget about those around him.
- A dot at the top of the line indicates an inflated level of self-esteem. Such people adore themselves and sometimes forget about the feelings of others.
- A dot at the bottom of the line indicates low self-esteem. Self-love is alien to such people; they value the opinions and feelings of others more than their own.
If you got the last result, but want to change it, then advice from psychologists on how to learn to truly love and respect yourself can help you.
The value of one's own personality: theoretical foundations
Self-love begins with thoughts. This is why it is very important to follow these tips:
- Stop looking for negativity in yourself and criticizing. Every person has shortcomings - you need to learn to respect yourself, accept yourself as you are.
- Get rid of negative/fearful thoughts. Such thinking only poisons life. Try to catch yourself on them and immediately slow down, switching to something positive.
- Let go of the past and forgive yourself. Every person makes mistakes: learn to analyze yours, learn from them and forget.
- Think only positively about yourself. Focus on your own positive aspects, cultivate and develop them. Get used to thinking of yourself as a kind and very positive person, even if you have some minor flaws.
- Take responsibility for everything that happens in life. According to the psychologist, everything that happens depends on our perception. Look at the world and yourself positively, remember that you have the power to change the situation, and it is you who are responsible for what is happening to you here and now. Take control of your life.
Changing your mindset is difficult, but it is achievable. The main thing to remember is that this is a long and time-consuming process. If you have spent your entire life criticizing and blaming yourself, it is unlikely that you will quickly learn to love and respect yourself.
Practical exercises
Practice is the best assistant to change theory. There are several exercises that you can do to learn to love and appreciate yourself, to accept your personality in its entirety.
Exercise 1: Be aware of yourself
To learn not only to love yourself, but also to appreciate, you must first become aware of yourself. Try to answer the following questions honestly (you can do this mentally):
- Who am I? (Gender, age, profession, field of activity, etc.).
- What do I like/dislike about myself?
- Why can I be proud of myself?
- What are my aspirations?
- What do I do best?
- What kind of people do you like/dislike?
- What might others like/dislike about me?
- What can't I do, why?
This exercise will allow you to better understand and get to know yourself, learn to identify your own strengths/weaknesses.
Exercise 2. Pros/cons
Take a piece of paper and draw it into two equal columns. List all your pros in one and your cons in the other.
After listing all the pros/cons that you could remember, re-read them carefully. Tear off the part of the sheet where the negative sides are marked and tear it. Save the sheet with the pluses and re-read them daily. Add new positives as you remember or acquire them. Indicate even your most insignificant advantages. This will make it much easier for you to love yourself.
Exercise 3. Me yesterday and today
Don't compare yourself to other people. Learn to notice your positive and negative actions and write them down daily. Every evening, compare yesterday's entries with today's and note the positive changes. Continue the exercise until the dynamics of change begin to satisfy you and you begin to respect yourself.
Actions to do daily
If you are determined to understand the science of how to love yourself and accept your true self, make it a rule to regularly follow these simple tips.
- Say kind words when waking up and before going to bed. Start each morning with words of greeting and praise for yourself, and end the day with wishes for sweet dreams and approval. It sounds trivial, but with the help of such a simple ritual, you will train your subconscious to have a positive attitude towards your “I”. This means that soon you will be able to truly love yourself.
- Talk to your reflection. Standing in front of the mirror, be sure to smile, say out loud words of approval, praise, and praise of some qualities.
- Come up with an affirmation. Remember the heroine of the film “The Most Charming and Attractive”. A saying from this film (“I am the very best. All men are crazy about me...”) or any other, the words of which can encourage you and instill confidence, will help you learn to respect and appreciate and love yourself. P.S. Tell yourself these words, even if you don’t think they are true at the moment. When you believe what you say, after a while you will notice that they begin to reflect reality.
- Try to please yourself as often as possible. Remember what brought you pleasure in childhood or the recent past, realize what can bring you joy now. At every convenient opportunity, try to do this, pamper, give small and big joys.
- Take care of your body. Engage in any type of physical activity, watch your diet. When you don't experience physical discomfort, loving yourself will become much easier.
How to respect and value your personality and not become selfish
Many people are afraid to value and respect themselves because they believe that they will stop thinking and considering others. Loving yourself does not mean becoming selfish. After all, it is impossible to love others if you do not love yourself. To make your self-esteem optimal, but not cross the line of selfishness, remember:
- Everyone has the right to make mistakes. No one is perfect - allow yourself and others to make mistakes.
- No one owes nothing to nobody. Do not demand from others what they cannot or are not able to give you.
- You need to be frank with others. Talk about how you expect to be treated, and do not allow any discrepancies between your words and actions.
- Others have a right to their opinion. Consider the opinions of others, but do not forget about your own.
- We need to accept people as they are. Each of us has flaws - don't try to change others.
A psychologist's advice on how to accept and love yourself is only the beginning of the path you have to go through to achieve your goal. The main thing to remember is that nothing is impossible, but any change takes time.
The modern world places quite serious demands on each individual person. And in this cycle of claims, you can very often become so disappointed in yourself and your capabilities that it seems that the situation is hopeless. However, it is worth remembering that there is always a way out of any situation. The purpose of this article: to talk about how to love yourself and how you can restore a person’s faith in their strengths and capabilities.
About the essence
It is worth saying that today there are quite a lot of different ways that tell a person how to love himself. The methodology presented in this article consists of a list of steps, as well as a few simple tips, using which a person can regain his identity.
Step 1. Criticism
How to love yourself? The very first and most important rule: you must discard self-criticism. Everything that happens must be perceived positively, all failures must be understood as life experience gained, and not as a punishment for some inability. It is worth saying that a person’s strength lies in the ability to correctly adapt to everything that happens in life. However, the practice of self-flagellation is so widespread among us that we have been using it almost since childhood.
Excessive demands from parents, the desire to be better than others by any means - all this kills self-confidence and forces a person to become a machine rather than remain an individual. You need to learn to perceive yourself as you are, with all the pros and cons. How to love yourself? You just don’t have to strive to become perfect, ideal in the eyes of others. You need to live solely for your own pleasure, to enjoy everything that happens. A person who learns to love himself will treat himself like a flower: he will cultivate what is useful while eradicating the weeds.
Step 2. Self-intimidation
The next step that will help you understand how to love yourself: you need to stop constantly intimidating yourself. This is also inherent in us from childhood. Our people are simply accustomed to constantly being in fear that something might happen, go wrong, not work out and not grow together. This negative attitude shapes a person’s life path, his attitude towards everything and everyone around him. If a person is negative, this is almost always what happens in life.
It’s another matter to set yourself up for a positive outcome and visualize it. Only with thoughts alone can a person both drag himself into misfortune and become a successful and successful person. What do we have to do? As soon as bad thoughts begin to occur, you need to learn to switch to the positive. If something was done or said wrong, you should not feel a constant feeling of guilt for it. You need to gain strength and courage and apologize. Otherwise, negative thoughts can simply destroy a person from the inside, completely killing self-love. By tuning yourself only to the good and perceiving reality with an excellent mood, you can not only fall in love with yourself again, but also radically change your life.
Step 3. Love
What science can tell you how to love yourself? Psychology. What do scientists in this field of knowledge advise? So, you need to learn to treat yourself with love. What does this mean? You need to ask yourself the question: “What does it mean to love a person?” The answer must be brought to life, but not in relation to others, but in relation to oneself. Everything is very simple. You need to praise yourself, be kind and gentle with yourself. You definitely need to pamper yourself, don’t skimp on gifts and wishes for yourself. Here you need to remember that you need to be patient with your own mistakes, because everyone learns from them. By the way, our mistakes are excellent teachers, allowing us to take a slightly different look at life and, perhaps, even reconsider certain views and principles.
Step 4. Attitude to consciousness
How to love yourself as a person, what do you need to do for this? You definitely need to learn how to relate to your consciousness correctly. No one is immune from the occurrence of negative thoughts. However, you shouldn’t scold yourself for this or castigate yourself. You just need to learn how to eradicate them, turning everything negative into positive. Various meditative and relaxation techniques are excellent helpers in such a situation. You need to learn to relax even in the midst of the most stressful day, you need to constantly listen to your inner wisdom. Only by thinking purely, positively, calmly, can you calm your mind, tune it to the positive and love yourself again.
Step 5. Care
How to force yourself to love and fall in love with yourself again? You just need to start taking care of yourself. However, not only for the body (although it is very important to love your appearance, your reflection in the mirror), but also for the soul and mind. Much has been said above about the purity of thoughts and intentions. It is also very important to constantly be in the process of self-development and strive to learn something new. For this, all means are good: you need to read as much as possible, study new sciences, and master skills of interest. If a person does not stand still, he develops, he is interesting not only to himself, but also to those around him. You want to communicate with such a person; he becomes a sought-after person. Well, how can you not love yourself, such a necessary and useful person?
Step 6. Now and never again
Another way to love yourself? Psychology advises you to start working on yourself right away. There is no need to put everything off until tomorrow or later. You need to live and develop, change and change the world around you right there and now. You shouldn’t delay it, as you might simply miss out on a lot of useful and interesting things that are happening around you at the moment. You need to not be afraid to let people go, break off difficult relationships, get rid of unpleasant acquaintances. Only by freeing your life from all negativity can you love and find yourself again.
Step 7. Gratitude
What else is very important to remember when you are going to learn how to forgive and love yourself? You just need to be grateful for everything and everyone. First of all, you need to stop for a moment and think about what good things have happened in life. You shouldn't remember the bad, you just need to concentrate on the good. It’s safe to say that there will be a lot of gratitude. Great idea and kind of self-training: keep a gratitude diary. Here you can write everything you can thank someone for during the day. Having learned to love everything that happens (i.e. life itself), you can easily love yourself without even noticing how it happened.
About women
It is also very important to dwell on the moment of how a woman can love herself. After all, most often today ladies do not love themselves so much that they do not even allow others to do this, constantly being left alone with their fears, sorrows and problems. What does a lady need to know first?
- There is no need to focus on appearance. It is worth remembering that youth passes, the years go by. However, this does not mean that the woman becomes worse, becomes dumber. A lady is like wine, she only gets better with age. You need to love yourself in any form, in any environment. And not only for appearance, but also for everything else: actions, thoughts, aspirations, principles, etc.
- You need to understand a simple truth: you cannot love someone more than yourself. Our women often give themselves entirely to their beloved man, family, relatives, completely forgetting about themselves. It is not right. Such a lady becomes uninteresting over time, she does not cause delight. You need to remember that first of all you need to take care of yourself, and then about everyone around you.
- A woman who loves herself is able to love those around her and pass this love on. Every person has self-love, but sometimes you just have to find it. This is quite simple to do: you need to devote a certain amount of time every day exclusively to yourself, to your self-development. Only by rebuilding yourself bit by bit, putting yourself in order, can you fall in love with yourself again.
- You also need to understand one more rule: if a person is loved, then by definition he cannot be bad or bad. So why not love the good you?
What else can you advise people who want to love themselves again? So, you can use the following tips that will help you qualitatively change your life for the better:
Simple conclusions
I definitely want to say that a person simply needs to love himself. This is the only way to become a successful person. Otherwise, you can simply lose yourself and disappear into those around you.
And obviously, it’s not clear to everyone who we’re talking about. And we are talking about us, loved ones. To put it simply, neurosis is self-deception that covers up something intolerable: fear, shame, guilt, despair. How do people become neurotic? If a person, as usual, is characterized by selfishness, but personal ideals require altruism and generosity, then hypocrisy and selfish “nobility” cannot be avoided. If you tend to be capricious and childishly assert yourself, and ideals ask for mental maturity, then neurosis under the guise of mental well-being is guaranteed. If arrogance is characteristic, and conscience forces modesty, then explosive tension becomes an eternal companion. There are a great many options for mental splits. That is, a neurotic is a person who is always pretending to be someone. He cannot love himself with all his guts, as he is. And therefore he resists himself, trying to become someone else - “better”.
About self-dislike
The call to love yourself, often found in popular psychological literature, in our time is rightly perceived as mediocre, cloying innocence. No one knows how it is to take and love yourself - the proposal seems vague and impractical, therefore it does not cause any love, but most often - confusion and even outright irritation. At the same time, everyone seems to understand that behind the very idea of self-love there is something fundamentally important.
Therefore, we love ourselves basically in the same way as we love others - neurotically, jumping from one extreme to another from self-contempt to self-deification. If circumstances allow us to inflate our importance, we love, if the conditions cannot be met and our importance is deflated, we feel weak and worthless.
In general, one should distinguish between pride and love. Or in other words – neurotic and healthy love. This topic on the site was also discussed in one of the. And here I will briefly repeat. The essence of love is pure acceptance - a natural property of consciousness, which freely passes through all impressions.
Observe your own state when it is not clouded by indignation, anxiety, or apathy. Mental processes naturally flow naturally, voiced by the quiet joy of agreement.
Therefore, to love yourself, no artificial tension is required. You just need to remove the obstacles that prevent you from accepting yourself as you are. Or, as they say in the east, to wipe away the dust of ignorance from the mirror of consciousness.
In this approach, the premise that everything is already in order with our person, in all its imperfections, is accepted as a given. It cannot and should not be different, because, like everything in the universe, it follows the natural course of things.
I understand how global and abstract such a theory can sound. After all, our little personality knows and understands well what is “right” and what is not; she easily judges destinies, like a divine emperor. At the same time, she doesn’t really notice that she can’t even cope with herself. Where can we decide for the universe?
Metaphorically, this looks like a hopeless argument with the Creator, where a small personality protests against his divine plan. Such a conviction in the incorrectness of the reality flowing here and now dictates the eternal “musts” and “shoulds” - sky-high standards and standards, without which our mortal person supposedly does not deserve love. It is disagreement with what is happening in life that prevents us from accepting and loving ourselves as we are.
This motive of rejection seems to be aimed at improvement - towards future progress. But the visible benefit easily turns into an unfulfilled hope for the best in the eternal “tomorrow” – a race for the elusive horizon, which always remains one step ahead.
Ideals depict a beautiful life - the very conditions in which we will finally allow ourselves to calm down in the abstract future. And we have “no reason” to love ourselves here and now. So we live, hoping for tomorrow. Until my death.
Suffering is a rejection of what is happening, a feeling that here and now something is wrong and must be corrected. And if we can’t fix it, we, out of childhood habit, anticipate punishment, flavored with guilt and humiliation.
Loving yourself means simply allowing yourself to be yourself without trying to be better. This is a deep, not requiring any justification, clarity that our person does not need any “mandatory” changes.
This “onion” is peeled off the surface. To begin with, no matter how strange it may sound, it is quite enough to agree with your inability to become loving and accepting. Further, as they become available, all personal mental taboos are identified, from which the blind prohibition is lifted, and a balanced, conscious attitude is established. This, as I now see, is one of the main functions.
It is more difficult to hunt for personal irrational beliefs on your own, because neuroses are our “blind spots” from which the personality unconsciously hides. And yet self-analysis is also a very real practice. It is necessary to pay close attention to emotions. Each of them has its own illogical “logic”.
Unfortunately, within the framework of this article, it is not possible to describe in detail the technique of self-analysis. IN . In the meantime, general advice is to doubt any ideals and think with your own head.
There is one very slippery line here. For now, I’ll be careful to say that in the end and “issuing rights” to one’s own balanced attitude.
This does not mean that a person immediately becomes a criminal and a sociopath. The fact is that psychopathology develops precisely on the basis of strict prohibitions and suppression. A psychologically relaxed person, on the contrary, does not accumulate any explosive anger. And understanding the conventions of all the rules, nevertheless, statistically more often she herself chooses “harmonious” behavior without any compulsion forced by “should” and “correctly”.
That is, the less love is demanded from a person, the more often and more naturally it awakens spontaneously. Otherwise, forcedly, it is impossible to love. How impossible it is to be forcedly kind, good and generous.
To love yourself you don’t need to make any special efforts. It is enough to recognize your own, albeit not the most beautiful, but real sides, stop hating yourself for them, and demand to achieve unrealistic heights. This is why being honest with yourself is so important. Loving yourself means accepting yourself as you are, not somewhere in the future, but now - with your irrepressible egoism, far from “light” motives and confused insides - this very person.
To become happy you need to know harmony, and without love and self-respect it is unlikely to achieve this high feeling. How to learn to sincerely love and respect yourself, forgive and let go of fear and pain?
Our motivation, life goals, energy charge, and harmonious existence in this life depend on the level of self-esteem. What do you need to do to learn to respect and value yourself?
Creating the perfect look
To gain self-respect and self-esteem, it is necessary to adhere to various postulates that make us happier and more successful. How to force a husband and wife to show love and humility, teach children to help others, and sow love and self-respect in their souls from an early age?
What does psychology advise:
- It is important to be able to forgive at any moment and period of life, forgetting both petty grievances and serious sins. You need to learn to forgive your neighbors, erasing pain, anger and suffering from your path. You can meditate, use various methods of “visually representing the offender,” trying to let go of the offense from your soul forever.
- To treat yourself with respect, you need to engage in self-development, learn new and interesting things, increase your level of self-esteem and increase the degree of confidence in yourself. It is important to learn to love yourself, but not forget about those around you.
- We must remember that failures and negative thoughts attract bad things, and therefore it is important to learn how to switch to the positive in time, smile more often and accept life in all its manifestations.
- It is important to understand your surroundings - who do you communicate with and what energy do you attract? You must surround yourself with worthy individuals who love and respect themselves, are ready to come to your aid at any moment, and express support and a friendly attitude.
- Never stop there! Continue to improve and look for new ways out of the situation. It is important to find yourself, find your favorite activity, and then all the obstacles will not matter.
What happens if you don't show respect for yourself?
A person who does not show respect for himself becomes an inferior person, as if every ridicule and watchful glance of a neighbor is about him. Life is going badly, it’s difficult to achieve your goals when there are only negative thoughts, complexes and fears in your head.
Only love and respect will help you overcome difficulties and find success. People with positive thinking do not suffer from depression, they always find a way out of any life situation, and do not mislead others.
How to love yourself and learn to respect?
What to do to develop personal self-esteem and how to love yourself? You need to learn to treat yourself with respect in practice (do your hair, put on beautiful clothes, take care of yourself and your body, eat properly and balanced in order to achieve the desired shape).
How to make yourself respected - it is important to stop comparing yourself with someone. Each person is individual and there are no identical personalities in the world. You need to not dwell on shortcomings, but look for your talents and abilities in order to surprise others and love yourself.
If you made a mistake in something, then you should not reproach yourself for it; the one who moves forward and develops accepts life lessons. You cannot change the past, but the future is in your hands.
It is necessary to form the right habits, which will help increase the level of self-esteem. Every person should eat right, devote time to physical and spiritual development, monitor their weight and health.
What can help improve self-esteem:
- rest;
- encouragement;
- positive emotions;
- positive thinking;
- affirmations and meditation;
- good health;
- self-development.
Before moving on to practical actions, you need to find the reasons why you still treat yourself with disrespect.
Do you need to love yourself?
What hinders the development of your self-esteem is the lack of love, when a person ceases to live in harmony with the outside world and spiritual impulses. Until we love ourselves, we will not be able to sincerely love our neighbors.
Dissatisfaction with yourself makes you envy others, which means ruining your world and ideas about life. If there is no proper attitude towards oneself, then pity and negative emotions arise that destroy a person’s health and well-being.
If you engage in self-criticism all the time, looking for your negative sides and shortcomings, then nothing good will come of it. Only fear, pain and disappointment. That is why it is so important to stop and start looking for your path in life, honest, noble and harmonious.
How to show love and apply it to yourself?
A loving and self-respecting person sets realistic goals for himself every day, achieves them and thanks himself for his efforts. This is the only way to achieve harmony and avoid self-flagellation.
There are several exercises that will help you change for the better:
The first exercise is self-awareness
To do this, you need to think carefully and mentally answer several questions:
- who am I in this life;
- what I do;
- why can I be proud of myself;
- what I do best;
- how others treat me;
- what should I change in my life.
The second exercise is to find your strengths
You need to take a piece of paper and write down all the positive aspects. Afterwards, re-read them every day in order to cultivate the beautiful in yourself, in order to love yourself for what you are.
Third exercise - recording changes
Psychologists say that you cannot compare yourself with other people, but you can compare yourself with “yesterday’s” self. What does this mean? It is important to learn to note your negative and positive actions, and constantly record them.
You need to continue the exercise until the dynamics of the results begin to satisfy you. This way you will become proud of yourself, appreciate and love yourself as an improved person.
To strengthen the results obtained, it is important to regularly follow simple rules:
- before going to bed and after waking up, say warm words to yourself, thank the Lord for everything that you have, ask for a blessing for the coming day;
- standing in front of a mirror, you can cheer yourself up by uttering words of praise and praise of certain qualities;
- come up with a positive affirmation and repeat it as often as possible to achieve the desired result (a great example is the heroine of the film “The Most Charming and Attractive”);
- try to please and pamper yourself, give small and big joys;
- It is important to take care of your body, be sure to engage in physical activity, walk more in the fresh air, eat healthy and wholesome food, and when there is no physical discomfort, it will be easier to love yourself.
How to start appreciating your personality?
How to make people respect yourself? Many people are afraid to appreciate and love themselves, because they believe that they will stop thinking about others. But this is not so, love is not a manifestation of selfishness, it is important to make self-esteem optimal so as not to step over the line of what is permitted:
- Everyone has the right to make mistakes - this is not weakness, there are no ideal people, and therefore everyone can make wrong actions. The main thing is to come to your senses and take measures to eliminate the error.
- No one owes anyone anything - and therefore you should not demand from others what they cannot give.
- You need to be open with people.
- It is important to accept people as they are - not to try to change them.
In order not to reproach yourself for unrealistic plans, it is important to really plan every day and hour, this is the only way you can manage to accomplish your plans and receive positive emotions as a reward for your work.
Psychologists say that those who work hard should rest well. After all, constant stress can lead to emotional exhaustion! We stop working at full capacity, lose dexterity, qualifications, and begin to doubt our capabilities.
Love and respect in family and at work
How to force others to respect themselves - loved ones, friends, colleagues... How to force a wife to show patience and attentiveness to her husband? How to get her recognition from a man? Or become a valuable employee at work? There are many questions, but the answer is one – love and self-respect.
In order for family life to become an idyll, it is necessary to accept each partner with all his shortcomings, and not try to change them, but to develop new, positive character traits that will become the key to a strong and happy life.
How to make a man respect his wife? Stop being selfish, take on part of the “woman’s responsibilities”, get rid of the idea that a woman will not go anywhere and will always be there.
The main thing is to never give up, but always strive for victory, both at home, at work, and in personal matters. In addition to all the tricks, you always need to develop, every guy will be pleased when his girlfriend is appreciated and respected by others, and not grumbled and condemned.
Often the cause of family conflicts is the partners’ disrespect for their personality. How to make your husband or wife respect themselves? You need to get rid of the trail of the past, stop focusing on the negative, reconsider plans for the future and cultivate a personality full of strength and energy for a happy future.
In order for a husband to be attentive to his companion, it is important for a woman to learn to respect herself and him, to take into account the opinion of her husband, and not to “nag” him over trifles. How to get your husband to show caring and godly intentions? A woman needs:
- Stop being hysterical.
- Don't wash dirty linen in public.
- Do not “extort” money from a man for uncontrolled purchases.
- Do not humiliate, do not insult, do not “make scandals” out of nowhere.
Better yet, become your dear husband’s support and support, then he will “move mountains” so that everything in your family is perfect. Be a friend, spend more time together doing pleasant things, prove to your loved one that you are worthy of a good relationship.
Now you know what it means to value and respect yourself, how to change life and make it beautiful and interesting. Be happy and take care of yourself! Develop and don't stop there! Movement is life and the key to a wonderful future!
"How to love yourself" - The topic is perhaps very important and relevant. I stop repeating more than once that before you want something, for example, the respect of others, you must first start with yourself. That is, start respecting yourself. I often hear things like: “How can you demand love from another person if you are unable to love yourself?” Therefore, today we will learn to love ourselves, because if we want to experience love for us from others, and indeed the love of our World, then we need to start, it would seem, from the smallest (but this is not so) - to love ourselves myself. And until we do this, it is unlikely that we will be able to feel that someone loves us.
A person does not know how to love himself. Why? Firstly, he has low self-esteem (read the article: "How to increase self-esteem") And, Secondly, people often confuse self-love with selfishness. Selfishness is when a person does everything exclusively for himself and has absolutely no concern for others. Even to your loved ones. Self love implies respect and enjoyment of one's own nature. Until we love ourselves, no one loves us. And even if he loves, we doubt it. Besides, we ourselves cannot love someone with dignity. Why? Because we don't know how to do it. Maybe this person is dear to you, but how much do you love him if you cannot do even the most banal things? To love the most beloved person - yourself!!!
When a person loves himself with the “right love”, he is confident in himself. He has enough energy to give this love of his. And in return he receives even more love from those around him and from the world in general. If you intend to become a confident person, if you want to live a free and wonderful life, if you want to have wonderful relationships with loved ones, family, and your soulmate, it is important to love yourself.
How to love yourself?
Now let's move on to practical tips that will help you realize your Self and help you truly love yourself. The tips are not very simple and will require a little effort and time from you, but the reward will be great!
Tip 1: Stop beating yourself up.
Let's start with what you need to stop doing. Some people engage in self-criticism every day and do not notice how depleted they are. If this has become a habit for you, you yourself have noticed how you have closed yourself off from the world, from others and from yourself. Literally every day you destroy yourself. For small failures, you are ready to humiliate yourself so much that your soul is pierced every time by a sword with a sharp end. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but this way you will see it more clearly.
While you scold yourself, you will not get rid of your suspiciousness, will not raise your self-esteem, will not open up to the world, will not do anything useful, will not love yourself, will not give your love to the world around you and nothing useful at all. Therefore, I remind you once again, the topic "How to love yourself"- important and difficult. In this advice, you should just stop scolding yourself for all failures, small or large, for your character (work on it) and just become calmer (read the article: "How to become calmer. 5 ways").
Tip 2: Be self-aware.
You must understand what you like in life. What do you love and what do you want to do? You must set yourself a goal. As long as you have at least one goal in life, life becomes more interesting. When a person knows what he is needed for, it becomes easier for him to love himself. After all, he realizes his importance.
Maybe you work as a veterinarian and rescue and treat animals every day. This is already great!!! You love animals and give them your love and receive it in return. You may not notice it directly, but when you return home, you feel satisfied with everything that happened that day. You have heard thank you more than once from a little girl for helping her kitten. And it brings you joy.
When we are self-aware, we can do good deeds and receive love for it. There is one exercise that helps you realize and find yourself in this life. Of course, this is difficult to do and will not work the first time, but still, do it. Who knows what quick effect you can achieve?!
Take the paper and use a pencil to divide it into two columns. In the left column write:
- Who am I?
- What am I proud of?
- What am I aiming for?
- What am I best at?
- Who do I admire?
In the right column:
- Why don't I love myself?
- What do I not like about myself?
- What do people around me not like about me?
- What's the worst thing I can do?
- What am I avoiding?
By doing this exercise, you will get to know yourself even better. You will have the opportunity to eliminate your shortcomings. Do not put up with them under any circumstances, because humility is simply observing when you can correct them. And you can fix a lot of things.
Tip 3: Point out your strengths.
This is the opposite of the first tip. Instead of humiliating yourself, you look for dignity in yourself. Every person has them and everyone has had victories in their life. It’s time for us to remember them, and not just once, but to remember them every day.
Man is such a creature: he quickly forgets his victories, but remembers his failures forever. Is this about you by any chance? All you now need to do is take the paper again and write down on it all the victories that you have achieved in life and all the qualities that you like about yourself. You can do this every day throughout the day. What did you manage to do today? May refer to this article? Hmm... for me this is like a plus for starting a new life.
4th tip - start a new life.
The main thing here is two things: consistency and slowness. If you have started to change yourself and your life, you need to do it constantly, and not quit right away. You wanted to change your appearance. Every day, step by step, move towards this dream, I understand that you need everything at once, but it doesn’t happen. In addition, there is one nuance here as a plus: time flies quickly, and you won’t notice how another year has already flown by. If you worked on yourself during this year, what would you be like now? Is it worth stopping then? Should we hurry if time is already running out on us?
You must understand what you don't like about yourself and start changing it. This is how you start a new life. As you become better, you will praise yourself for your achievements, and, therefore, love yourself. Remember the time. There is no need for you to rush things.
Tip 5: Be kind to yourself and others.
Good is light both inside and outside of you. Why don't you bring another light into this world? Start smiling, even if your day is not going well. Now you have to tell yourself 80% that everything is fine and life is wonderful and 20% already express your dissatisfaction (it’s better to do this on paper). Why do I advise expressing dissatisfaction? The fact is that when a person expresses his dissatisfaction, he gets rid of it. This can be done at the gym, or when you are cooking. Openly expressing yourself in private is a useful thing, but only when it makes up no more than 20% of your life.
Now, when you go anywhere, put a smile on your face. I remember when I walked on the street, I smiled, because I had to do it and it was already a habit. I saw how passers-by also simply began to smile in response. How this lifts their spirits (although some were only amazed at my smile). She's so infectious. As long as you smile, you look like the most attractive person, and life smiles at you!
Tip 6 - change your environment.
There are people who underestimate you. That’s why your self-esteem drops, that’s why you don’t love yourself. There are such personalities in life - suppressive . These are a kind of energy vampires who feed on other people's energy, as they quickly deplete their own.
If you have such people and you know them, you can just talk to them about it. If you love each other or are friends, then such a nuance from your life in a relationship will disappear. If not, end the relationship.
7th tip - new beliefs.
You should program yourself to love yourself. Affirmations about self-love will suit you. Every day in a state of meditation you should listen to affirmations and feel with all your heart that this is so. When you wake up in the morning, say the first words: "I love myself for who I am." In 90 days, these lines will sink into your core, and you will no longer be able to help but love yourself. No matter what they tell you, you will still love yourself.
These are all the tips and techniques that you should use. In order to completely love yourself, you will not need much time. When you do this, love yourself, you will be able to succeed more in life and become a truly loving and happy person. Much love to you!!!