There are still people who type the question “how to stop being jealous” into a search engine. However, many prefer to make excuses: “I have White envy, this means…"
Yes, you can paint it, at least in all the colors of the rainbow,
Envy - and in Africa there is envy!..
Anyone who wants to figure out why people actually envy, and how to stop doing this nonsense, is with me!..
Hello, Find Yourself readers!
I have long wanted to discuss with you the problem of how to stop being envious. Oh, don't say it didn't appear before you. Or are you holy? Then what are you doing on the Internet?
To me, I confess, as if in spirit, it arises periodically. Fortunately, the scale of envy is shrinking dramatically. I propose to start by figuring out one question together.
Why do people envy?
For me the answer is simple. That’s why I ask everyone to speak out. Not for comparing points of view, of course. I hope your answers will broaden my view of the world. And to envy, as an integral part of it, for now.
Envy is born from lack of self-confidence and own strength.
The only way. As Arkady Isakovich’s character used to say: “Let’s remember our golden childhood.” How did you feel when your brother or sister was given the toy you wanted? That's it. And why? Because you are sure that they will never give it to you...
Let's grow up. A person sees an object that arouses his admiration. It doesn’t matter if it’s a dress, a car, an apartment, a salary... whatever...
But the level of limitations already set subconsciously assures him that he will never achieve this. And, instead of sincerely rejoicing at the success of another, and being filled with energy to begin their own path of achievement, people begin to envy. Naturally, it is always easier to break.
Did anyone find this example abstract? Don't be shy, speak up. Okay, my own, very recent case. Who leads own blog, will understand. I subscribe to comments on articles on more than one blog. Sometimes, when comments pour in one after another, I really start to envy. Why? And still criticize. For what? Still, I manage to quickly cope with this feeling. But we’ll talk about how to stop being jealous a little later.
The brightest literary example, why people are jealous, this is Pushkin’s queen from “The Tale of the Dead Princess.” I’ll immediately warn “literary scholars”, “The Tale of the Fisherman and the Fish” is more about greed. And don’t give me an example of Shakespeare’s Iago, don’t confuse the children.
Here she is, the queen. Everything here corresponds to what I described at the beginning of the article.
The object of envy is the youth and beauty of the stepdaughter. Naturally, the youth of the body is transitory. But, after all, there is still youth of the soul!.. Is it worth poisoning it with deceptions about the color of envy?
White envy is...
Of course you will express own opinion in comments. But I immediately give away mine.
White envy is a phantom, a figment of fantasy.
Eat various classifications. All of them were invented for... human self-justification. Here is one of them, honestly borrowed from "Advice Site".
Yes, many of the characteristics of “black envy” are accurate. Only, the whole point is that they are always present in combination with varying degrees expressiveness (or degeneracy). I suggest you remember a bearded and shaggy joke.
- Mykola, why are you so happy today?
- Yes, yes...
- Well, okay?..
- Yes, my neighbor’s cow died...
- So think about it, well, who is he to me? Neither brother, nor matchmaker... But still nice!..
All the “chernukha” is available here. If you can't find it yourself, you can ask.
But, regarding white envy, this is a mistaken opinion. How is this “envy - admiration”? I don't understand. A friend got a beautiful new apartment. You can either be happy for him or envy him.
Genius and villainy are two incompatible things.
And “envy is a stimulus” is also some kind of concept diffused across feelings. I understand that something like “sports anger” is meant. Only there the incentive is not white envy, but something else. Which? I suggest you write it yourself. Everyone needs to develop, right?
Therefore, let’s move on to the main question, thank God, which is still being typed into search engines.
How to overcome envy?
Let's return to the advice site. For some reason, the first wish on the list is this:
Become a successful, rich, healthy, beautiful person.
Buy everything necessary qualities so as not to envy anyone.
Undoubtedly, the advice is different... from what we have in our own reality. And it will take more than a dozen years to implement it. But. everything else is exactly right.
1. Accepting yourself as you are.
Entirely and completely, your body, your world, your past actions.
2. Love for yourself, for life, for the world.
Yes, this is also a broad topic, completely different from the question of why people envy. For some reason, the advice site decided to start with the radiation of love. But you can only radiate what you yourself have in abundance.
3. Gratitude to yourself and the world.
If you compare my article with what is written on the advice site, I recommend not to abuse point 4. Fantasies lead away from real world. Your world.
I’m sure everything has become clear, both why people envy and the fact that white envy does not exist. But, by and large, you should be interested in the most important conclusion from the article you read.
There is only one way to stop being envious - that is Love.
And, above all, to yourself. Your world begins precisely with you.
Those who can do it are allowed to press a couple of buttons below. And I will count the percentage of those who love themselves from total number those who have read. Svetlana Rumyantseva
Envy is an ancient and merciless feeling. It is born in every person more often or less often, but no one is immune from it. religion, socialists, communists and other assorted revolutionaries made plans against it. But why is envy bad and does white envy exist?
When does envy arise?
Man is a bipolar creature, a natural and social element. Envy grows from the first and is revealed in the second. The world is competitive. All living creatures on planet Earth, animate or not - blades of grass, bugs, spiders, wolves and foxes - are fighting for a place in the sun. To live well, you need comfortable conditions. The better they are, the healthier and more fertile the organism is, the stronger the offspring it will produce, sponsoring the evolutionary program for the development of species. Convenience doesn't come easy. In nature main mechanism selection is competition. Species fight for a place where they will live, for food, for a female... And humans live according to the same principle.
Envy drives progress, it gives rise to aggression, which, according to some anthropologists, one of whom is the famous Charles Darwin, led man to leading position. Behavior condemned in the enlightened society of the 21st century has become the impetus for human development and the emergence of intelligence. Homosapiens is a physically weak species, inferior to the large predators of the primitive kingdom. To survive, you need to unite, and the common life of creatures that are not devoid of intelligence requires norms and rules.
The envious man had two options: destruction or progress. In the first case, negativity will corrode a person from the inside, making him an asocial element who will be kicked out of the tribe at the first opportunity and sent to certain death: no one survived alone. In the second case, the hunter will gather his strength into a fist, knock down the leopard, get the skin and win the hearts of the tribal beauties.
What are we jealous of?
Envy is a feeling of equals. It occurs to colleagues, friends, classmates, acquaintances, neighbors, close people - representatives of the same social stratum. They envy people who have a similar status in society. But society is not so simple. People are not animals. A thousand years of moral principles have distorted the natural selection mechanism, but the reasons for the struggle today are the same as thousands of years ago:
Favorable living conditions. This type of competition was especially relevant in times Soviet power when, in order to get an apartment, young families had to stand in a state line. Today people choose housing themselves and fight for profitable terms: price of accommodation, convenient transport interchange, availability of a grocery store and bus stop public transport near. People with higher incomes have different needs: the view from the window, the prestige of the area, comfortable spot in the parking lot. No matter how much you give to a person, it will not be enough.
Labor sphere. A good job means a decent salary, which decides a lot social problems In human life. Money today is...
Attractive female or male. No matter how much a person believes in fairy tales, the reality is that the choice of a couple is influenced by social status partner. A successful marriage for a girl is a way to rise to the occasion. new level with more comfortable conditions life. For a man, a worthy companion is healthy offspring and confirmation of status. Beautiful girl elevates a man in the eyes of other representatives of the stronger sex. And if the chosen one is loving, economical and caring, then the home will be cozy and warm.
Attributes of success. Why does a person need an expensive smartphone or a luxury car? To show everyone the level of wealth and success or to create the appearance self-importance. Expensive things today are not a sign of quality. The pursuit of a brand is dictated by the desire to create the illusion of a well-fed life. People fight for things they don’t need for one purpose: subconsciously they believe that attributes successful person will increase their status in society.
Who do we envy?
Envy is born where it is impossible to openly confront a person. The behavior of people in society is regulated by laws and unspoken moral norms, which are designed to cultivate high consciousness in a person. The spiritual stage of development is highest value. An attempt to eradicate aggression and envy is understandable and justified. This is a way to protect yourself. Aggression multiplied by modern technologies, has already led humanity to sad events in the last century: death, violence, destruction. Therefore, in our age, not only is it especially condemned, but also the envious feeling that can develop into it.
Who does a person envy? To the neighbor. For an ordinary representative of the middle class, Vasya does not matter what kind of dacha on the seashore he bought successful businessman Pavel Petrovich. He is too far from this life. Compete with wealthy man, when expenses and income for the month do not always coincide - the task is impossible. It also makes no sense to envy a homeless person who has collected a box full of change. To whom should you direct your envious gaze? For a thrifty neighbor who bought a brand new car during the crisis, for an important neighbor who married a pretty beauty, for any resident of the house who received something that Vasya passionately dreamed of. Or I haven’t dreamed of it, but I would like to buy it, because there is nothing superfluous in the house. And Pavel Petrovich will envy his successful competitor, who bought a house not two-story, but three-story, and found a wife not with 2, but with 4 breast sizes.
Religion and envy
Christianity: envy is a mortal sin. A person experiencing this feeling stands against the will of the Lord.
Taoism: will not material goods– envy will disappear. Lao Tzu, condemning people for their vices, concluded: evil comes from attachment to wealth. Envy in this case acts as an obstacle to enlightenment.
Buddhism: giving up desires will overcome envy. When there is nothing to desire, then other people's achievements do not evoke emotions. Envy and worldly attachments block the road to Nirvana.
Islam: There are two types of envy.
Black – big sin, prescribed in the Koran. Such envy means dissatisfaction with the will of Allah, who has granted another person the blessings of life. An envious person suffers when he sees the happiness of other people, he gets angry, uses foul language and behaves contrary to God’s will.
White is a fusion of envious feelings and joy at the sight of someone else’s well-being. Such envy pushes a person forward, forces him to act, and is permitted in Islam.
Does white envy exist?
If you look at envy from psychological point point of view, two ways of its development can be distinguished:
Destructive. Envy is an energetic feeling. When energy goes negative, it affects nervous system man, his psychological comfort. and feelings accumulate and make themselves felt through aggressive outbursts, breakdowns, and deterioration of health. Envious man, experiences suffering when he sees the desired benefits received by his neighbor. Society treats such individuals with caution and condemnation: who knows what else he will do?
Positive. You can also direct the energy of envy in a positive direction: mobilize your strength and work on yourself. This is the way strong personalities With high level spiritual development. Such a way out of the situation has a positive effect on a person’s psyche and health, and envy turns from a destructive feeling into a creative one.
It moves progress and each individual towards success, because each person compares himself with others. But someone, when the result is unsatisfactory, succumbs to anger, and someone boldly goes forward, not wanting to trail in the end.
April 6, 2014It is traditionally believed that envy is a quality unworthy good man, and that it is a shame to envy. But then what about the indisputable fact that almost every person is prone to envy to one degree or another?
As psychologists' studies have shown, all of us have experienced envy of other people's successes and achievements at least once in our lives. After all, no one wants to be worse than others at something! Therefore, people who claim that they are not at all envious either do not admit their feelings to themselves, or are lying about their souls.
Although, envy is different. The fact is that envy comes in different forms - black and white. Let's take a closer look at what this means and whether there is a difference between these two types of envy.
There is no doubt that the so-called black envy- a very bad, destructive feeling. And such envy destroys, first of all, the envious person himself. And all because a person who envies others with black envy experiences a whole range of negative emotions: dissatisfaction with oneself, hatred of someone who turned out to be better and more successful in something, as well as a deep resentment towards life and one’s own destiny.
When a person envies other people with white envy, he experiences a completely different range of emotions - no longer negative, but positive. And the main distinctive emotion of white envy is the desire to become equal to the one you envy, the desire to achieve the same high results. A person prone to white envy has no doubt that if someone could do it, then he can too.
As you can see, the difference between black and white envy lies primarily in the fact that in the first case, the envious person suffers and exudes negativity, and in the second, he is stimulated to life’s accomplishments and achievements. Now let's analyze which people are prone to black envy, and which people envy others with white envy.
Psychologists say that people who have low self-esteem and who, deep down, doubt their abilities and capabilities, are primarily prone to black envy. The mechanism of black envy is as follows:
For a person who does not believe in himself at all, when he sees the successes of others, his feeling of own inferiority and insignificance, and then aggression appears.
In principle, aggression is a natural reaction human psyche to pain, to conflict with outside world. After all, the feeling of one’s own insignificance is a very painful and unpleasant feeling. Moreover, the envious person experiences double aggression: towards himself, and towards the person who causes him a feeling of black envy. To yourself - because of your own powerlessness. To the object of envy - as to the source of one’s own pain and problems.
As for white envy, strong and self-confident people who believe that nothing is impossible for them are predisposed to it. A person prone to white envy, at the sight of other people’s successes, experiences not pain, resentment and irritation, but joy due to the anticipation of his own future life achievements. Therefore, white envy, unlike black envy, does not make the envious person wish harm to more successful people, but stimulates him to active work and to new victories.
From all this it follows that there is nothing wrong with white envy, and being envious with white envy is not at all shameful. While black envy is a very destructive feeling that should be eradicated in oneself. And there is only one way to get rid of black envy - by increasing own self-esteem.
Therefore, if you feel that you cannot cope with black envy, work on yourself, get rid of complexes and strengthen your faith in yourself. As soon as you sincerely believe in your own strengths and capabilities, black envy will leave your soul forever!
What color is envy? Does it come in black, white, striped, yellow, pink, green? Why does it eat away from the inside at the sight of a more successful person? Many questions arise, people have been looking for answers to them for centuries.
The Bible says about envy: “...for where there is envy and selfishness, there is disorder and all evil things” (James 3:16). How to get rid of envy?What color is envy
Dahl's dictionary gives an interesting interpretation of this negative human feeling: “annoyance at someone else’s good or benefit.” Envy is an indicator of success: if a person is envied, it means he has achieved something worthwhile, he the right way. Many people convince themselves and others that envy is bad, it is a destructive quality, negative emotion. However, no one has ever been able to get rid of the corrosive feeling of envy overnight.
White and black... What are the differences between the two sides of the same coin? White envy, according to many people, is envy in a “good way”, comparison, competition, a test of strength. White envy envelops a successful, happy, positive, harmonious person. Light color has such an emotion only because the envious person begins to try on other people's achievements. White envy is envy-dream, dream, myth. By default, an envious person does not feel any negativity towards the owner of something. Black envy haunts its owner, pathologically pushing him to commit a crime against his own soul, against the object of this corrupting quality. It is not so easy to recover from this serious illness, but there is a real elixir for envy in the world - a specific creative action.
Two sides of the same envy
Envy is a mortal sin. For what “advantages” did this feeling fall into such a small list of human downfalls? A person begins to compare himself with others, and the result is depressing: the subject of comparison is better, taller, younger, more beautiful, more successful... The list is endless, it’s not for nothing that there is an expression “poisoned by envy.” By its nature, envy is resentment of one’s own imperfections. Black envy is fraught with rejection - I don’t want him to have that. The only antidote can be finding inner harmony, a calm philosophical attitude towards the process of time, towards objective assessment own capabilities.
It also happens that envy, as a measure of achievement, motivates concrete actions the one who is jealous. If someone has managed to achieve something in life, it means that anyone else can do it. It is with this message that a person begins his movement forward, sets ambitious goals and sometimes achieves even greater success in life. That’s why they say that there is white envy, which motivates to reveal one’s own individuality, talent, and creativity.
How to get rid of envy
- Step one. If a person or event causes serious envy, you first need to understand in detail the reason for this emotion. Does he have a lot of money? Beautiful wife? Talented children? Successful career? What is he better than others at? You need to admit to yourself that envy does exist, that the person who caused it is not guilty of anything, he is only a projection of the unrealized potential of the envious person, a beacon to the direction of someone’s goals.
- Step two. It's time to set a goal to achieve your own results. Outline a plan for a gradual rise, movement towards your dream. Find resources, people and information on how to achieve what you want.
- Step three. Do not force events, be patient, move systematically in the chosen direction, regularly checking the exchange rate.
- Step four. Check your plans, adjust them in time, break them up big goal to small, easily achievable subgoals.
- Step five: Ask yourself the question: “Why do I need this? What will achieve this goal? Sometimes wealth does not bring a person joy and happiness, and the illusory pursuit of preserving beauty and youth takes away the last of one’s strength.
On a note
Eat wise parable about envy. God once said to man: “Ask for what you want, on one condition – your neighbor will have twice as much of it.” The man thought for a long time and expressed his desire this way: “Tear out one of my eyes.”