It wouldn't hurt for each of us to brush up on the rules of table etiquette, and perhaps even learn something new about how to behave while eating. The most important rules etiquette that absolutely everyone should use.
Each of us notices when in a cafe at the next table someone eats sloppily or secretly wipes their hands on their knees. In the same way, other people notice our mistakes; any behavior is striking and can cause embarrassment. Therefore, it is better to check yourself and correct yourself own behavior if necessary.
How to behave at the table
General rules apply to any situation; they will never be superfluous. The first thing we pay attention to when we see a person is his posture. Posture characterizes not only a person’s behavior or state, but also reveals the secrets of his character.
An insecure person will fidget nervously on the edge of his chair, a complex person will try to slouch in order to become less noticeable. Sit upright, but so that you are comfortable. Your hands can be placed on the edge of the table or on your knees, and it is better to press your elbows to your sides.
By the way, to learn how to hold your elbows near your body Soviet time They advised me to periodically train and have lunch while holding a couple of heavy books with my elbows. This is necessary so that the correct bodily pattern is formed, and you hold your elbows flawlessly even when you don’t think about it at all.
The rules of table etiquette cover almost all situations that can happen to a person and give a clear recommendation on what to do in a given situation.
Naturally, table etiquette at home and restaurant etiquette are somewhat different. However, there are rules that are appropriate in any situation:
- Don't talk too loudly;
- Do not move the fork or spoon with food too far from your mouth;
- You should not make sounds while eating;
- You should eat calmly, without unnecessary haste.
Restaurant
The rules of conduct in a restaurant imply some composure - you need to behave correctly and with dignity in order to make a pleasant impression on others.
- A man must let a lady go first, but if a group of men or women goes to a restaurant, then everyone is in equal conditions or rely on the initiator of the dinner.
- If several people are supposed to meet at dinner, and some of them are late, then by mutual agreement with the rest of the guests, you can wait about a quarter of an hour for the latecomers. A longer wait is a sign of disrespect for guests who arrived on time.
- If you happen to be late, you should apologize and then simply join the others. Shouldn't be attracted special attention to the fact of being late and explain the reason, just join in the table conversation.
- When a man and a woman meet in a restaurant, the man must read the menu and offer his companion some dishes. For a girl in this case to express her indifference is a sign of bad manners. Etiquette in a restaurant implies the participation of the lady in choosing dishes.
- In a restaurant, you should not have a conversation in a raised voice or laugh loudly. If this happened by accident, it makes sense to apologize to other visitors and be quieter. Observe table etiquette, and if someone behaves inappropriately at the next table, you should inform the waiter about it.
- You need to start eating when the waiter has brought out the ordered dishes to everyone present. If the person who is waiting for his dish to be prepared does not mind, he can make an invitation to others to start eating.
- It is strictly forbidden to perform hygiene procedures at the table - wiping your face, neck and hands with napkins, combing your hair or applying lipstick. If you need to pay attention to your appearance, it is better to do this in a special room. Table etiquette also does not welcome traces of lipstick on dishes. Before starting to eat, the girl must carefully remove the lipstick with a napkin.
- Any interaction with food also looks uncivilized - food is on the table to be eaten. Taking photos for Instagram, blowing on the soup, meticulously picking at the salad, commenting on the ingredients is indecent.
- If you come across a piece of cartilage or a bone in some dish, you need to carefully return the inedible element back to the spoon and move it to a plate (or napkin).
How to handle devices
- Under no circumstances should you check the cleanliness of the cutlery, and if you do notice a cloudy spot on a fork or spoon, you need to quietly draw the waiter’s attention to this oversight and politely ask for a replacement.
- In most restaurants, the table is set in advance, and the cutlery is laid out on both sides of the serving plate.
- Don’t be confused if there are more dishes on the table than you expected to see - everything has its purpose, and if you are in doubt about which fork or spoon you should take, you can always see how the other guests solve this problem.
- Those utensils that lie to the left of the plate are used with the left hand, and those that are laid out to the right must be held in the right hand.
- When serving complex dishes, each dish requires its own utensils, so if you are in doubt about which fork you should take, take the farthest one - the one that is furthest from the edge of the plate. As you change dishes, you will gradually move closer to the closest appliances.
- The knife is used either for cutting food or for spreading pates and butter (for example, during breakfasts). You should not try pieces from a knife.
- Meat or fish should be cut sequentially as it is eaten. Cutting the entire portion at once is bad form. It is generally accepted that this way the dish cools down faster and loses its main flavor nuances.
Learn in advance a few differences between different cutlery so as not to get into trouble.
Forks
- Second hot dishes are eaten with a table fork; it has four teeth, and its length is slightly less than the diameter of the plate and is placed on the left;
- a fish fork is used for hot fish dishes, it looks smaller than a diner and has four short teeth, a fish fork is easy to recognize by its indentations - they are needed to separate the bones;
- snack fork - a smaller duplicate of a table fork, used to eat cold appetizers;
- dessert fork - for pies, small, matches the size of the dessert plate and looks atypical;
- a fruit fork equipped with two prongs, usually served with a fruit knife;
- the remaining forks are considered auxiliary, they are placed next to the dish that needs to be eaten with them.
Knives
- Any second hot dish is eaten with a table knife, it is placed to the right of the plate, the blade is turned towards the plate;
- a fish knife is dull and resembles a spatula, used to separate the flesh of fish from the bones;
- the snack knife is small and has serrations;
- the dessert and fruit knife look similar - they are the smallest.
Spoons
- a tablespoon is the largest, lies to the right of the plate;
- a dessert spoon is served with desserts that do not require cutting - soft puddings, jellies and whipped cream;
- an ice cream spoon is served with a bowl;
- the cocktail spoon has a very narrow and long handle;
- a teaspoon can be served with any hot drink;
- coffee spoon is the smallest, served only with black coffee.
Dialogues and behavior at the table
Table etiquette involves not only the use of cutlery, correct positioning and good posture, but also the manner of conducting dialogues and conversations.
It is worth noting that table etiquette strictly prohibits discussing provocative questions, which could lead to serious conflict - so you should refrain from comments about money, politics and religion.
How to behave at the table and what to say? Be sure to look at the person who is speaking to you, listen without interrupting, and only then respond. If you consider some of your interlocutor’s questions inappropriate for a meal, gently suggest discussing this a little later. In all other cases, you should answer easily and naturally.
Restaurant etiquette rules also do not imply heated arguments - refrain from inappropriate comments and lighten the mood with a sweet joke if someone else raises their voice.
You shouldn’t have a conversation with just the two of you; involve the rest of the meal participants in the conversation.. For example, if the conversation is about a recent vacation, you can ask one of the interlocutors whether he is going to go on vacation in the near future or what vacation spots he prefers.
It is also good form in any table conversation to praise the owner, cook or initiator of the meeting - find a few kind words to mark general atmosphere evenings.
A short course in etiquette
- Do as the majority does.
- Don't point out others' mistakes, as a last resort, you can say this quietly in an undertone and only to your neighbor at the table.
- Don't be away from your meal for too long.
- When leaving the table, apologize.
- Try everything and eat what you like.
- Behind common table do not discuss diet, disorders eating behavior, restrictions in alcoholic drinks and diet.
It is better to study some rules of behavior at the table by looking at pictures - look at the basic table setting diagrams, you can also watch a video on how to properly hold this or that device.
Table etiquette is not that difficult if you devote a little time to it, and following all the rules will help you present your best side.
Distract guests from plates and glasses original speeches and toast.
Table speeches
When a large company gathers or is specially celebrated special events, they certainly make table speeches. If the speeches are well thought out, meaningful and not long-winded, they add the necessary festivity to the event. If table speeches are also witty, they create a pleasant atmosphere that is remembered for a long time.
We bring to your attention some good table speeches.
One citizen decided to buy a dog and came to the dog market. He really liked one. 
Having finished examining her, he turned to the seller: - Tell me, does your dog have a family tree? - What for? - the seller is surprised. - She... uses anyone! For guests who do not use any, I inform you that the toilet is...
One man is asked: “Why do you wear shoes two sizes too small?” He replies: “On purpose. My wife is not beautiful. Besides, she's evil. Cooks badly! The son is a loser! Mother-in-law is a witch! The only joy I have in life is when I take off my shoes in the evening!” Let's drink to make our lives full of joy.
A male frog sits on the bank of a mountain river. A female scorpion crawls up to him and says:
- Frog, take me to the other side of the river.
-What are you saying, woman? “I’ll put you on my back, and you’ll bite me,” the male answers her.
“Why should I bite you, then we’ll drown together,” the scorpion woman does not calm down.
“Okay, sit on my neck,” said the male. And they swam across a stormy mountain river. We swam to the middle, and then the female scorpion bit the male frog.
The male frog shouted:
“Listen, you promised not to bite me, you damned scorpion!”
“I can’t do anything about my feminine nature,” the female answered him.
So let's drink to our feminine nature!
Three women were walking through the desert. For several days now there has been no water or food. And suddenly in front of the travelers there is an oasis, but it is surrounded by a high wall. Then the woman says: “Let as many steps appear as the number of times I have been with a man.” A ladder appeared, along which this woman climbed the wall and descended into the oasis. Another woman said: “Let there be as many steps as the number of times I have been with a man.” Steps appeared on one side of the wall. The woman, having climbed them, jumped to the other side. And the third woman began to cry. So let's drink so that our women don't cry.
Speech to a friend
"Even if you go around the world,
You won't find a better friend anywhere.
I composed an ode only to him,
To the one I call best friend!
People like him go on reconnaissance missions,
With someone like him I will go all over the world,
I trust him with my life,
I am as confident in him as I am in myself.
He is a hospitable owner,
Whatever is in the house goes on the table.
And if necessary, he will give away the last piece
(be it a piece of bread, or a wagon of caviar).
Suddenly a terrible disaster happens,
Or will I need money?
He won't stand aside
I am as confident in him as I am in myself.
Sometimes he is strict, but fair,
It's like a court democratic country,
He is a friend, and that is why I sing an ode to him,
I'm happy that he lives on earth!"
Why do women constantly reduce their age? Yes, because they erase from their lives the useless years that pass without love. So, dear women, love us and live profitably. For you!
"For the children"
What do you want to be, Gogi, when you grow up? - the guest asked the baby.
“I want to become a businessman like dad,” Gogi answered. - Yesterday he took me to the office, and I really liked how he worked there and spent his time there.
And how will you work?
In the morning I’ll leave the office, sit down at the table, light a long cigarette, and start saying that I have an awful lot to do and that I’ll have to get started after lunch. Then after lunch I’ll go with a businessman friend to a restaurant and eat and drink, then I’ll return to the office and scold everyone for not doing anything. Then I’ll go home and, terribly tired, lie down on the sofa and watch TV. So let's drink to the children - our future!
Toasts
A toast is a public speech, so a toast must have all the elements public speech: confident tone, sufficient volume, looking into the eyes of the listeners, energy adequate to the holiday atmosphere, etc.
Here is a small selection of original toasts.
Let's drink to the honest and humble people! Moreover, there are so few of us left...
Man comes from oblivion and goes into oblivion! And isn't this a reason to have a drink between two of them? significant events!
***
They say that if married woman does not wear a wedding ring, as well as earrings, brooches, pendants, bracelets and necklaces, which means she married only for love! Friends! Let's raise a glass to sincere love!
Let's drink to our children having rich parents!
Let's drink to the fact that no matter what, we drink at all costs.
Antique toast:
Baths, wine and love completely destroy our body,
But baths, wine and love also create life anew!
And don't forget to drink in moderation. So, don’t get carried away with toasts, because after a toast you need to drink. Have a successful and fun feast!
So, we have already overcome some problems with complex communication and next point There will be communication at the table and at the reception.
How do you feel sitting at a table with several people? Surely at home you don’t feel any pressure when communicating with your loved ones and relatives, so we won’t delve into this topic, with whom else if not your family should you first establish contact? But here you are with friends, eating while sitting at a cafe table and trying to start or maintain a conversation - here the stiffness is already growing and the relaxation that you felt at home has disappeared somewhere. And finally, you are sitting at a party, in a circle of people you don’t know, and you are experiencing enormous tension. It is so big that you cannot even take your eyes off the plate, and you sit slowly chewing its contents, with the thoughts of getting out of here quickly.
For many people, this situation is painfully familiar, and in order to overcome this inhibition at the table, you need to understand some patterns for yourself:
- Learn to carry on a conversation at a party;
- Read various literature about table etiquette rules.
These 2 rules will help you avoid constraint in communication at a party, at receptions and in public catering places.
First of all, learn how to use a fork and knife. The knife is in the right hand, the fork is in the left hand. Hone the skill of using cutlery to perfection so that your head is not occupied by unnecessary thoughts that you might be mistaken for a pig at the table. Books that teach table manners will help you with this. But you don’t have to get too carried away - it’s enough to master the basic skills. This will help relieve tension in an unfamiliar environment and increase confidence at the table.
After that, learn how to carry on a conversation at the table. In an unfamiliar company, you can start by introducing yourself and telling a story about yourself - we have already learned this in previous paragraph on developing communication skills. Discuss at the table last news, talk about your mutual acquaintances or something in common that connects you - after all, it was no coincidence that you found yourself at the same table with these people. Remember that these people also don’t know which side to start communicating with, and feel discomfort - so don’t be shy, and talk about anything that interests you, and may be interesting to your table neighbors.
And don’t even think about finding all kinds of reasons to refuse invitations to all kinds of celebrations. All understanding of how to behave and how to communicate will come with practice and experience. Go to visit as often as possible and invite guests to your place - after all, by breaking a certain pattern of behavior, for example, sitting at home alone in the evenings, you will acquire communication skills with people, and also make new friends and acquaintances. It with maximum speed will remove your inhibitions in communication.
It's hard to talk - I understand. It’s hard for me myself. I've been thinking for a long time about putting together such a universal set of tips for those who have no idea what to talk about with all these people and what they want from them. Relax. When you seem to be experiencing your personal apocalypse and doomsday at the table, Brodude will come and silently fix everything. The main thing is to be positive and kind, no matter what. At least try.
Problem: I don't have any topics to discuss. Everything in my life is normal.
Make a decision or change something to automatically end other conversations. Recently watched a new movie or got a haircut? Good luck already! Now you don’t have to talk about anything else for the rest of the evening - one small conversation about it is enough. Thanks to these events you became interesting personality and you have a topic for conversation.
Problem: Everything I'm doing is going badly and I'm afraid that I'll start complaining.
Think about streamlined answers. People will ask you about work and everything else. If you say: “I hate my job,” you will, of course, be honest, but it will ruin the other person’s mood and completely lead him into a dead end. Imagine: the guy begins to smile awkwardly and fill the pause, realizing that he should answer you. Therefore, prepare a streamlined answer: for example, talk about something that doesn’t make you depressed at work, or express the truth more streamlinedly: “I’m now looking for something new,” normal person Either way, he will understand that you are not happy with your work, and will stop asking questions out of harm’s way.
Problem: I don't know what to ask others.
Intelligence service! For example, if you are one hundred percent sure that your grandmother’s friend, with whom you were seated next to for some reason, likes all old ladies, likes gardening, ask how things are going at the dacha (have they planted seedlings, have they dug up potatoes - depending on the season) . And a stream awaits you fascinating stories. Or if your sister's friend is a guy wearing a Metallica T-shirt, God himself ordered us to discuss his favorite album. In short, attention is important.
No need.
Problem: Come on, there's nothing wrong with that.
Eat.
Problem: Our family has nothing in common.
Come on, there must be at least something, at least idiotic. Yes, at least discuss what will happen in the next episode of some series, or talk about what will happen soon New Year(Easter, February 23, March 8 - how time flies, before you know it, you’ve already grown so much). In short, just start, and it will work itself out.
Problem: I'm always the last to know everything and I don't know how to shut up in time.
Determine in advance where the catch may lie, and stay away. This general rule. Don’t be that idiot who asks your aunt, whom you haven’t seen for two years, about your uncle, from whom she recently divorced: everyone already knows and prudently avoids this topic, and you can too, if you try. The same applies to various complex and atypical life situations, unfulfilled dreams and plans, the work of anyone who has difficulties with it, as well as politics and religion, because no one ever agrees on these issues.
Problem: I found myself alone among strangers and I don’t want to seem timid.
Is it true? How did you get there? Do you really not know anyone? For starters, at least praise the food. You don’t need a lot of intelligence here: this will endear you to the hostess and show everyone else how polite and attentive you are. Especially if you are visiting your friend's parents. Just gold!
Problem: Oh, I said something inappropriate and everyone went silent, help me quickly!
It's time to discuss animals and children. If neither one nor the other is there, maybe you should take the cat with you? At least start talking about him interesting story. Or about a friend's cat. Or a story in which there is both a child and a cat at once. A story about small and cute creatures can save any conversation because everyone loves them and it is not discussed. Everyone will begin to be touched and immediately forget what caused the alarming calm.
Problem: If I stay here for even a second, I'll sink into the ground from discomfort.
Take a break or add variety to your activities. You don’t have to sit at the table all evening without stopping. Go to the toilet. On the way you can meet the same cat and play with him. Go out onto the balcony to smoke if you smoke. If you don't smoke, on the way from the toilet, stop to look at the family library or the photographs on the shelves and walls. Look for something to do, you’re not little! And then return to the table with renewed vigor.
And finally, most importantly - be the most positive person in the world. Everyone came together for once, and if you found a place among these people, it means you are dear to them. And this is already worth a lot.