Most people have never asked themselves these questions. And if they asked, they did not try to find a truthful answer. It's not even about the answer itself, but about the search for it. Each of these questions can lead you to think about yourself and the world around you, even if you don’t find the answer. They can move someone from their dead point and make them think about things they usually don’t want to think about.

The order of the questions does not really matter; I published them in the order in which they came to mind. Although several questions that follow each other can be logically connected. There is no need to get hung up on formulating the question and finding an answer to it. First of all, you must start thinking, reflecting, and this is the main task that I put into this article. Therefore, there is no need to look for any hidden meaning in the wording. Just think.

I warn you, many questions are uncomfortable, they can hurt your pride, make you think about something unpleasant, but you need to ask yourself them, because many problems cannot be simply ignored. And it’s better to ask yourself them now, think carefully and come to some decision, than to reap the consequences of misconceptions and wrong choices later.

Even if these questions give rise to unpleasant feelings, the purpose of these questions is not to upset you, but to encourage you to take certain actions. Don't get used to problems, but find solutions to them! I asked and ask myself many of these questions, and they help me get to know myself more deeply and, using this knowledge, move on. If you are not confident in your moral strength or suffer from depression, then it is better to skip this article, since in this case, the questions may plunge you into despondency.

If I understand that it is difficult for me to communicate with some people, then I think about how to avoid this.
If I understand that I am lazy, then I think about how to strengthen discipline.

In general, I am determined to solve the problem, and not to simply put my head down and meekly accept the circumstances. I want you to be tuned in too.

How to answer questions?

You don't have to answer everything at once. You may have to think carefully. Do not rush to immediately answer the question; it may turn out to be a template answer due to stereotypes that have developed in your thinking. These stereotypes are designed to simplify your thinking and protect your pride from the possibility of self-accusation. They work instantly, offering you the most psychologically “comfortable” answer. But such an answer does not mean an honest one. So take time to reflect, try to get to the bottom of it, and be as honest with yourself as possible. Return to the article if necessary.

Hint: Most problems lie within yourself, not in the outside world. And these problems can be solved by working on yourself.

You can also find some tips by following the links that I will provide in the post.

Some questions include a statement. For example, “why do you smoke?” If you do not smoke, skip the question; this does not apply to you. The same applies to all similar questions.

Some questions may puzzle some, but leave others indifferent. This is fine. It is impossible to predict in advance which path your chain of thinking will take and what will attract your attention.

Questions

1. Why should I care what other people think about me?
2. How do my friends treat me?
3. Why can't I be alone?
4. Why do I drink
5. Why am I
6. How do my children treat me?
7. Why is it difficult for me to make friends?
8. Do I have to be better than everyone else at absolutely everything?
9. Fate is unfair to me. So what?
10. Why do I swear a lot?
11. What happens in the world?
12. What's happening in my country?
13. What happens at my job?
14. What do I want from life?
15. Why are my plans not being fulfilled?
16. Am I happy with my choice?
17. Why be nervous and worried?
18. Who is responsible for what happened in my life this way and not otherwise?
19. Who is responsible for making me like this?
20. Is the life path that I have chosen for myself the only possible one?
21. What is stopping me from living the life I want to live?
22. Does anyone owe me anything?
23. Do I owe anything to anyone?
24. Why do I argue with my wife/husband? What's the point of this? Do we achieve anything valuable as a result of these conflicts?
25. Why are my emotions getting the better of me?
26. I am in a bad mood. So what?
27. Why do I need a tenth dress or a third watch?
28. What will happen to me in ten, twenty, thirty years? Will my life somehow change if I continue to do what I do? Am I happy with these prospects?
29. What will happen to my health if I continue to lead the lifestyle that I lead now?
30. What will happen to me when I get old and can’t find pleasure in the things that bring me joy now (sex, food, drinking)?
31. I like my job?
32. Am I satisfied with my job as a source of income and my life's work?
33. Why can't I organize other sources of income?
34. What happens if I lose my job?
35. Why don't I work remotely?
36. Why am I not running my own business?
37. I was less fortunate than others. So what?
38. What will I do this weekend? And on the next ones? What do I do every weekend?
39. Why do I smoke?
40. Do I get enough rest?
41. Do I have enough free time?
42. Am I getting enough sleep?
43. Am I in good physical shape?
44. I feel good?
45. Am I able to save
46. How to eat properly?
47. Am I spending enough time with my loved ones?
48. Why do I stay late at work? What happens if I leave on time?
49. Why do I profess this particular one and not another? Are all other religions wrong?
50. Am I diligent in fulfilling the commandments of my faith? If not, how can I be sure of the salvation of my soul?
51. What's the point in suffering?
52. What are my interests, hobbies? What am I interested in?
53. How much time do I spend in ?
54. How much time do I watch TV?
55. How many books have I read in the last year?
56. What other interesting music is there?
57. Am I educated and erudite enough?
58. Why doesn't the Earth fall into the Sun?
59. How is genetic information encoded?
60. What does an atom consist of?
61. How many foreign languages ​​do I know?
62. Do I respond adequately to criticism addressed to me?
63. When was the last time I agreed with someone else's opinion that was different from mine and openly admitted it?
64. What is the point in those disputes in which each participant does not want to accept the opinions of the other? Is truth born in such disputes?
65. Why do I need to prove something to someone?
66. When was the last time I praised people, gave them sincere compliments?
67. How am I better than those people I don’t like?
68. Why do some people not like me?
69. Why do they love me?
70. Why do I love those I love?
71. Have I put in enough effort to enhance my strengths and get rid of my weaknesses?
72. How long have I given gifts just like that, for no reason?
73. How long has it been since I visited my elderly relatives?
74. Are there many people who will provide me selfless help if I need it?
75. When was the last time I cleaned my house?
76. Do I often stay alone and think about life?
77. When was the last time I did something that others didn't approve of and I ended up being happy with my choice?
78. Am I getting things done?
79. Do I have a developed sense of humor?
80. Do I laugh a lot?
81. Am I enjoying life?
82. Am I happy?
83. Do I often complain about life?
84. Many people live in conditions of hunger, lack of housing and their lives are in constant danger. Why do I consider my problems so significant and serious?
85. Am I doing everything to improve my life?
86. Why do wars happen?
87. Where do my fears come from? Why am I afraid of mice if they cannot harm me?
88. Why should I be offended by others?
89. Why should I pretend to be something I'm not?
90. What are my biggest mistakes in life?
91. Why am I lonely?
92. How do my principles, my worldview help me?
93. What kind of people are my friends? Why are we together?
94. What determines my behavior?
95. When was the last time I cleaned up my apartment or work place?
96. What is good and what is bad?
97. Do I listen carefully to other people?
98. Have I caused a lot of suffering to those around me?
99. Why am I ashamed of my loved ones?
100. What do I know about death?

The questions you will find in this article will help you get to know yourself better. By trying out different situations and asking yourself the right questions, you can discover thoughts and patterns in behavior that you usually miss. Grab a notepad and pen and let's get started.

Know yourself.

1. Who are you?

As luck would have it, nothing comes to mind. The question is so broad that it even causes irritation. We can’t just look inside ourselves; psychological mirrors usually help with this. A psychological mirror is a smart person (ideally a psychotherapist) who would guide you. But if there are none nearby, then the right questions will replace them. And also a pen and paper to catch those thoughts and feelings that can be very well disguised and go unnoticed for a long time.

2. What is the meaning of life? What is love? Who are you?

These questions don't get a bad rap because they're incorrect. They are simply not broken down into more precise pieces, so they are difficult to process. The question of who we are needs to be divided so that it is easier to digest. Not “Who am I?”, but “Who am I at work, in relationships, with friends, children?”

3. What happened to you as a child?

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The question seems ridiculous, but, unfortunately, it is not. Almost everything that we are today is the result of behavioral patterns established in childhood (and safely forgotten). Children, due to their mentality, cannot fully understand the characteristics of their own psyche. We live the first 10 years blindly before we even learn to understand our motives and emotions. Now is the time to go back and rethink them.

Freud's theory is overrated, discredited and considered incorrect, you might argue. In some key areas this is true. But Freud's basic idea is considered undeniable and definitely true in psychology: the unconscious and childhood largely determine the choice of partners, sexual preferences and moral principles. Therefore, there is nothing left but to work with this difficult material.

4. What is shown in this picture?

This is a card from an association test developed by Swiss psychologist Hermann Rorschach. The idea is to show you something vague, indefinite, and then your imagination fills in those ambiguities with its own associations, while at the same time releasing some of your repressed fears, expectations, desires. People with hidden aggression will see hostility, scandal. People who suppress sexual desires - the vagina. What do you see?

5. Continue with the following sentences:

• All men are men at heart...
• When you get to know them better, all women...

A favorite technique of psychologists is to ask you to quickly, without thinking, complete an unfinished sentence. We will not be able to fully control our unconscious, and therefore we will discover some important attitudes that we usually suppress. In the process of self-discovery, you will most likely be scared by some things. But that's okay, we're all very weird.

6. Draw your family on a piece of paper

Draw parents, brothers and sisters, a house, the sun, a tree. This is not a strictly scientific method, but it does suggest certain thoughts.

• The one you drew next to you is closest to you.
• The one who is at the greatest distance from you is emotionally far from you.
• By the size of the figure depicting you, you can tell whether you have high or low self-esteem.
• Home is an extension of you, your ego. Is it in good condition?
• Windows characterize the degree of your sociability. Does your house have a door? Do you let people into your life?

7. Are you optimistic about humanity and the future of the planet?

8. Did you sleep well last night?

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We are inclined to deny that there is any connection between the answers to these two questions, attributing all our thoughts about the high to impartial rational calculation. But we must accept the fact that to some extent our thoughts are influenced by our physical state: how we are, what we ate for lunch, how long ago we were hugged. In this sense, despite our big brains, we are not as far removed from babies as we once were.

9. What do you blame your parents for?

Why do you think they were the way they were? What pressured them and what difficulties did they experience? What can a good friend tell you about them?

Of course, your parents may take most of the blame for your failures. But shifting responsibility prevents you from better understanding what is happening in your life. Your parents were in the same position in relation to their parents and also cannot be fully responsible for their mental characteristics. What if we start thinking about the feelings of our parents, who, oddly enough, are also victims?

10. Let's say that you are of traditional sexual orientation. Have you ever wanted to touch the body of someone of the same gender as you?

Sigmund Freud made a brilliant discovery: much remains in the unconscious because of our own disgust or, as he called this phenomenon, resistance. The unconscious contains those feelings and desires that challenge our comfortable view of ourselves. But the price for comfort is high: it is difficult to get to the bottom of the causes of anxiety and neuroses. So we need to come to terms with our endearing quirks and contradictions.

Nathan Walker / Unsplash.com

People we tend to find attractive aren't just for objective reasons (because they're friendly, you can talk to them about politics, or they like sports like you). But also because they bring with them problems and difficulties that are especially attractive to us. Most of us go through the same suffering, which is usually associated with the suffering and experiences experienced in childhood.

12. How exactly does your partner irritate you?

Don't just blame the other person for their shortcomings, such as being distant or overly sensitive. We must admit that, on the contrary, it is precisely these shortcomings that attract us. We look for them to reproduce the pattern of dissatisfaction we learned in childhood.

In general, in relationships we look not for what gives us the most pleasure, but for what seems familiar and close. Understanding the nature of this driving force will help us learn to empathize with ourselves and be more understanding towards our partner. After all, how does he know that we find him attractive in part because he can upset us?

13. Write down five qualities of a partner that you really find difficult to live with.

A good partnership is possible not so much between two healthy mature people (there are not so many of them on our planet), but between two crazy people who are lucky enough to find a safe place for the other person in themselves, among their relative madness.

14. How do you feel when you start to like someone?

You may feel depressed and start to bother this person or, conversely, try to run away from the admirer (“Why does he/she have such bad taste?”). This is a typical response from a person who does not know how to love himself, and about half of them are like that (mainly because the people who are most important to us in the past were not interested in us). Start resisting suspicions about yourself. At least in order not to dump them with rage on the person who shows interest in you.

15. What is the main problem in your relationship with your mother?

16. What is the main problem in your relationship with your father?

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These questions may sound like clichés, but it takes time for their true significance to emerge. Spend, say, one hour answering each of the questions in writing. If you are honest, you will experience not the most pleasant emotions: sadness, anger, resentment. But in order to move on, you need to deal with your grievances and experiences.

17. What did you learn about relationships from your parents?

Humanity is experiencing unprecedented growth in terms of technological progress: we are learning more and more effectively transferring our knowledge. But we have not made nearly as much progress in the emotional sphere. Because we do not sufficiently realize that the negative patterns of behavior that we acquire in childhood, we reproduce in adulthood. Try to recognize yours before letting them out.

18. What slightly unhealthy, weird things do you find attractive in a partner?

Do your parents have these character traits? According to the theory of repetition compulsion from psychoanalysis, we are all drawn to problematic things that we encountered as children. This does not mean that we will repeat all the actions that will lead to emotional trauma. In some cases, on the contrary, we will avoid every aspect associated with this experience and thus continue to remain attached to it.

19. Make a list of people who really attract you.

Have you ever experienced, even fleetingly, sexual attraction of any kind towards each person on this list? And did this attraction entail any difficulties, no matter what the reason (perhaps this person had a date, or he you, or it made you doubt your sexual orientation)? The reasons for such excitement are always hidden within ourselves.

20. If you assessed yourself impartially, what would you warn a friend about if he were thinking about a relationship with you?

People can tell a lot about themselves and their problems. After all, in fact, we do not need those who are completely free from any problems or shortcomings. We need people who can explain their problems and how they cope with them.

21. Explain what you think is happening in this picture?

It's not clear what's going on in this picture because the image is (intentionally) vague and ambiguous. Therefore, everything you say comes from within. The details you add and the story you tell reflect the state of your inner world. Especially if you are absolutely sure that you understand what is shown in the picture, and you persistently prove it. This image is a test that psychologists use to evaluate your psychological defense mechanism, projection.

22. What is shown here?

Another controversial image. Here you can see many stories: a mother and her sick child, a wife who kills her husband moments before the kiss. Write what you think is happening here. Then ask a friend to do the same. Discuss what aspects of your life and personality you, without knowing it, are projecting into the picture.

23. Write what you will answer to the phrase “I’m very sorry that we splashed your clothes, although we tried very hard to avoid the puddle”?

Your answer can be used to judge your attitude towards disappointments. Typically, there are three options:

• we get angry, we go into a rage;
• we don't go into a rage because of an internal feeling of shame that prevents us from reaching the extreme point, even when there is a reason for it;
• we do not fly into a rage because we think that other people's reactions will be violent and unpleasant if we express our dissatisfaction.

24. How would other people react if you explained to them how you feel?

As children, we form a belief about what will surely happen if we open up about our feelings. Since people often turned away from us, we learned to hide our “bad” thoughts. And at first glance we may seem obedient and friendly, but you just have to look deeper...

To become a mature person, you need to understand the basis of self-knowledge: the world of childhood is not the whole world. This is one part of it, although it has a significant influence, from which we could not escape at the time. But, fortunately, we have become more eloquent and resilient than when we were five years old. Take courage and express your feelings.

25. What weaknesses do you have (or could you have) as a parent?

It is very difficult to imagine the possible disadvantages, especially if we truly want to be loving and kind parents. Nevertheless, we will have shortcomings, and they can be divided into two groups:

• recreated according to the type of unhealthy behavior patterns from their own childhood;
• an overreaction to unhealthy childhood behavior patterns that have influenced our own behavior patterns.

26. Name three sexual scenarios that particularly excite you.

Sexual fantasies can be interpreted as an attempt to recreate what causes us problems or is unavailable in the world outside of sex. So, for example, a uniform can be attractive because people in uniform seem strict and instill fear in us. Or we want to be seen and heard in public because our parents were overly well-behaved prudes. - these are small utopias that tell us about problematic parts of our biography.

27. What unusual sexual attractions do you have?

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Everyone has a fear of being (or appearing to be) a pervert. It's part of what makes us civilized. However, self-knowledge includes the recognition that the unconscious is by its nature completely flawed and is not a cause for alarm. We have extremely strong censorship mechanisms that 99.9% of the time prevent any of this from being implemented. At the same time, we can explore without fear what is hidden within us and affects our lives.

28. When did you cry or want to cry as an adult?

Most tears in adulthood are caused not by pain, but by the sight of something incredibly beautiful and close (reconciliation between father and son, the sudden generosity of a stingy person, a beautiful garden). We remind ourselves of what we want it to be, and we feel sad that we so rarely see it like that.

29. Write down the five most important things in your life. How much time do you spend on them?

There is a huge difference between what we say we value and what we ultimately do. Ironically, we don't devote enough attention, time, and resources to the things we care about most. It is very important to realize this. Try to reduce this difference.

30. What things do you often buy, even though it doesn't bring you much joy?

We believe advertising, which, among other things, masterfully convinces us of what we should want. It's no wonder that we often have things that don't bring us any satisfaction, but only boredom and anxiety: clothes that gather dust in the closet after one outing, cars that don't justify their high price, and so on. We must monitor not only our expenses, but also the pleasure (say, on a scale from 1 to 10) that our purchases bring us.

31. What are you trying to say with your clothes?

Any clothing can be equated to the uniform of a certain category of people. It reflects who we see ourselves as and what group we belong to. In addition, our appearance can provide important information about some of our anxieties. What are you trying to protect yourself from with clothing?

32. Name three works of art that mean a lot to you.

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Often we love in art what we miss in our real life. Our taste is evidence of some need. For example, we like peaceful pictures because we are always in a hurry. Or carefree music, because we feel a lot of restrictions in our lives. Taste reflects not only who we are, but also how we would like to see ourselves.

33. What is your biggest regret?

We regret something so often. After all, sometimes in life you have to make important decisions without having any idea what you will face, for example, who to marry or whom to marry, where to live, what profession to choose. We have to go blind, and this is not our fault. We must learn to share our regrets and experiences. This is the only way to feel less lonely.

34. What are you slightly addicted to?

Alcohol, shopping, cigarettes, porn, arguments... Addiction cannot be strictly defined as an attachment to one specific substance, this concept is much broader. - this is a feeling of a strong need for something, and the cause is most often a serious problem in some area of ​​our life. Therefore, there is no need to focus on the substance or action that causes addiction. Focus on the sorrows and worries that fuel your addiction to him. Understand that you are not a bad person, this is just how your suffering manifests itself. And the solution to the problem of addiction lies in overcoming this suffering.

35. Make a list of three little things that annoy you about the person next to you.

Little insignificant things upset us because they have a direct bearing on larger issues. They go against some of our psychological expectations, such as punctuality, privacy, organization... Ideally, we need to understand what big things matter to us and protect them, with leniency towards the little things that people sometimes do unintentionally.

36. What negative traits of your character would you not like to show to people?

Almost certainly everyone is already aware of these shortcomings. Other people know more about us five minutes later than we know about ourselves decades later, because their knowledge of others is not suppressed by the unconscious. Honesty towards others comes easy. Instead of hoping that no one will ever notice yours, assume that everyone already knows about them. And in the future, treat them with a little humor and self-irony.

37. Rank the following concepts in descending order of importance in your work:

• money;
• status;
• creation;
• impact on society;
• Colleagues.

Our career aspirations are influenced by three forces:

• parents' hopes;
• expectations of society (other people);
• the feelings that arise during our work.

We are usually the least likely to listen to ourselves. And most often the first two forces win. It may take several decades before we recognize the terrifying fact that we worked only to please a parent (who may have already died) or for the sake of strangers and, most often, people who are indifferent to us. Most likely, it's not too late now.

38. If you knew that you could not fail in your profession, what would you try?

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We are often afraid of being embarrassed because our aspirations and desires regarding a career do not correspond to our actual knowledge or skills. And that's why we don't even try. And this is an exact guarantee that your aspirations will never become a reality. We owe it to ourselves to be vocal about what we want to do and who we want to be, even if it won't be easy or without failure.

39. What things have made you jealous lately?

We were taught that envy is bad, and we were strictly forbidden to do it. But in fact, the people or things we envy help us better understand our deepest desires, and this, in turn, tells us a lot about ourselves as a person. Try to keep a diary of your envious feelings, do not accumulate them inside yourself and try to make your dreams come true.

40. What can your work colleagues criticize you for behind your back?

And there is nothing to be offended by. Your fears are well founded. Everything you suspect could have occurred to others, and this is already reality. The point is not to try to avoid such imaginary gossip, but to take measures to combat their existence: do not give others a reason for criticism, strive to be better.

41. What or who do you associate yourself with?

• If I were the weather, I would be...
• If I were furniture, I would be...
• If I were a car brand, I would be...
• If I were a genre of music, I would be...
• If I were food, I would be...
• If I were an animal, I would be...
• If I were a font, I would be...

To ourselves we are something vague and formless, but sometimes we can recognize the key features of our personality through metaphors and analogies. The animal most often turns out to be particularly revealing.

42. Have you ever been unfair to others?

Make a list of guilt-inducing events where you were particularly unfair to specific people and lashed out at them.

What makes you worry? If you shared your concerns, could the situation change? In the future, try to tell others that you are upset instead of making a fuss over small things.

43. How do you react to stimuli?

Someone is annoying you. What would you say: “You’re so annoying when...” or “I feel irritated when you...”?

Psychologists prefer the second formulation: in their opinion, this approach is the essence of good communication. By describing how others affect you rather than blaming them, you avoid putting people on the defensive. Therefore, they are more likely to listen to you. Self-knowledge helps you separate what applies to you and what applies to other people.

44. Which of the following statements applies to you?

• When my partner upsets me, I lose interest, withdraw, and want to be alone.
• When my partner upsets me, I panic, get angry and start a fight.

These are the two most common and unhealthy reactions when you are hurt in . Psychologists describe the first situation as avoidant attachment, and the second as anxious attachment. Choose the third option correctly: explain what hurts you, calmly, confidently and without unnecessary vindictiveness. Only 10% of people do this. But this is the right decision if you want to build a mature relationship.

45. Write down everything bad in your relationship with your parents, and then with your loved one.

Please note that the same problems keep popping up. Or at least you can see a connection between them. There is irony in this. Perhaps it's time to resolve conflicts?

46. ​​What prevents you from making decisions?

Our brain has its shortcomings. Be prepared that when you make important decisions, you will experience them yourself. See mistakes as an opportunity to learn about your weaknesses and take action. Be vigilant when you come to conclusions about your shortcomings, do not let them bother you.

47. Name the first association that comes to mind when you hear these words:

• skirt;
• carrot;
• wool;
• lock;
• movie;
• shot.

We have become so good at hiding what is going on in our souls that the only way to recognize what is really bothering us is to turn off our minds for a while. Analyze your answers, think about what hidden fears and desires they may indicate.

48. How would you describe yourself?

Describe yourself using four adjectives. Ask three friends to do the same. Compare and contrast scores. What did you miss? What did you learn about yourself?

49. Map your failures

Write down your failures, indicating the approximate date they occurred. Next to each failure, write what it taught you.

You must recognize patterns. And the best we can do is understand what behaviors lead us to and what they ultimately give us.

50. What did you literally just lie to someone around you?

None of us lives in absolutely ideal conditions. White lies are the price for belonging to society. The desire for complete transparency is a naive and dangerous illusion.

51. Continue the phrases:

• If a truly kind person wanted to praise me, he would say...
• If a truly cruel person were assessing me, he would say...

Learn to stick to the golden mean between these two extremes. Be a demanding but generous friend to yourself.

52. Are you dominant or submissive in sex? What about the rest of your life?

Usually the second answer is the opposite of the first. In other words, sex is compensation and relief from stress from ordinary existence.

53. What things in your life would make your loved ones worry if they knew about them?

It’s completely normal to have secrets that even your closest people don’t know about. We try not to scare those we love.

54. What would you like to achieve in your career in a year, five, ten years?

Having your own plans means not being an executor of others.

55. What was your favorite thing to do as a child?

Are you experiencing similar feelings now? A good career involves a connection between your adult activities and childhood hobbies and feelings.

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As a personal trainer, I use specific, insightful questions to help my clients better understand themselves and to clarify their goals for me personally.

I usually ask open-ended questions that can't be answered with a simple yes or no, so the client has to dig deeper and find answers they may not have even thought about before. Asking the right questions can stimulate deeper, more interesting conversations and discourse, and set the stage for discovering common interests, creating stronger connections, and strengthening mutual understanding and empathy.

There is an art to asking good questions. No one wants to feel like they're being interviewed or like they're being pressured for information. An important and large part of this process lies in the ability to listen carefully to the answer and perceive what lies behind the words.

Listening also involves the ability to observe body language, listen to the tone of speech, and be sensitive to what is left unspoken. It is important to be able to ask thoughtful follow-up questions and keep the conversation going, reflecting its essence. By learning to ask good questions and listen carefully, you will create space for closer, stronger, and more enjoyable relationships.

Here are 25 questions that will help you start an interesting, deep conversation:

1. What is your best childhood memory? This question always makes people smile and often leads to humorous and emotional conversations about family, travel, holidays, traditions, hopes, dreams and friendships. You can learn a lot about a person who shares their childhood memories with you.

2. If you had a chance to change something in life, what would you choose? This question can give you insight into the person's condition and who they are. You will also be able to see his weaknesses and learn about his hopes and dreams. Often, when people share their regrets or unfulfilled desires with others, it broadens their interactions and increases trust.

3. How did you two meet? This is a great question to ask when communicating with a couple. Quite often, telling a story about a first meeting brings people together, bringing back happy memories. This gives them something to enjoy together and allows you to learn more about their background and how they interact with each other.

5. What kind of music do you like? Our favorite music helps define ourselves and reflects the dreams and views of our generation. What we listen to reflects what resonates with our soul. This most clearly and honestly reveals our inner essence and our deep beliefs, which are sometimes very difficult to express in words.

6. If you could go anywhere, where would you choose and why? This question not only allows you to discuss past travel experiences, but also helps you better understand the other person's personality, interests, and adventurous spirit.

7. If you could only have five things, what would you choose? This question really gets people thinking. We are very attached to our things, but there are only a few of them that are of particular importance to us. When people are forced to define this, you can see what material goods they value most.

8. Which school teacher had the greatest influence on you and why? Teachers can play a key role in developing our love of learning, exploring our true desires, and discovering our talents. These people inspire us or simply believe in us and want the best for us.

9. Have you ever thought about what will be written on your tombstone? Although this question is a bit touchy, it touches on important topics, looking deep into the heart. What are we aiming for? How do we want to be remembered and what do we want to leave behind?

10. What was the turning point in your life? This question allows you to move to a deeper level of communication. Often such moments arise when experiencing difficult life situations: death, divorce, job loss, etc. It is during these times that we are forced to make huge mental, physical or emotional shifts.

11. Why did you choose this profession? The story of why a person chose a particular profession helps to learn a lot about him, about his motivations, interests, education and ambitions. We often spend most of our time at work. Consequently, the answer to this question also shows what a person has decided to closely connect his life with.

12. How do you spend your free time? This question serves as an excellent addition to the previous one, creating a holistic picture of how a person managed to organize his life. We will be able to learn about the interests, various hobbies and obligations of our interlocutor.

13. If you won the lottery, what would you do with your winnings? This is a fun question that reveals a person's attitude towards money, work and life goals. Would the person quit his job? Would you buy your dream home? Or would you do something altruistic? Would a person be happy to receive a large monetary fortune or would he want to avoid such gifts of fate?

14. Who do you admire? The answer to this question will reveal who a person wants to be like. We admire people whose actions and character reflect what we want to see in ourselves. Once you know the answer, you can learn more about the true character of the interlocutor.

15. Tell us about your three favorite books. Why did you choose them? Discussing your favorite books creates space for an interesting conversation and helps your interlocutors find a common language. It also gives both parties the opportunity to learn something new and understand different points of view or interests that they had not thought about before.

16. What are you most afraid of? This question is intended to probe the waters and, nevertheless, can reveal a lot. Every person is afraid of something, and it is these fears and concerns that show our vulnerabilities and painful points. When someone shares something like this with you, you need to respond with caution, kindness, and trust. You need to be respectful and sensitive to other people's fears so that they feel safe and can open up to you on a deeper level.

17. What do you understand by the word “love”? Every person has their own “love language”: words, behaviors and attitudes that show how they express their love and that make them feel loved. This is a great question to ask your significant other.

18. What are your strongest qualities? Most people don't feel comfortable answering this question at first because they're trying to be modest. But deep down, we all want recognition for our positive qualities. Typically, people ask the same question to their interlocutor and this creates a positive connection between them.

19. Can you remember your most embarrassing moment? You should not take this issue too seriously and then you can laugh heartily, remembering such moments. Most people like to tell funny stories about themselves, as long as there is no shame or guilt involved. Sometimes people may talk about something painful or shameful. Then it's time to show compassion and participation.

20. If you became president, what would be the first thing you would do? By asking this question, you can learn a lot about the other person's political views, ideals, values, and concerns. If you want to avoid lengthy arguments, just be prepared for the possibility that you may not agree with the other person's opinion. Don't forget that we are all different and that's wonderful. Communication completes us. Be open.

21. How old do you feel now, and why? Ask this question to people over 50 and you'll get some interesting answers. As people age, many people do not feel their chronological age. It is very interesting to know how people perceive themselves internally. It is likely that their age does not coincide with their feelings at all.

22. If you could witness any event from the past, present or future, what would you choose? This is a great question for an engaging conversation. You'll be able to learn about the other person's interests and goals, and perhaps be inspired to explore your own interests more deeply.

23. What skill would you like to learn and why? Most people want to constantly improve for their own satisfaction. This question will give a person the opportunity not only to talk about his desires, but also to think about why he has not yet achieved success in what he wants.

24. What is your idea of ​​a perfect day? Reflecting on this question makes us return to memories of wonderful days lived. The question adds a happy note to the conversation, awakening pleasant feelings and perhaps even a desire to recreate that perfect day.

25. How would your friends describe you? This question allows a person to step back and try to see themselves from a different perspective, bringing self-awareness and self-honesty into the conversation, and making the conversation deeper and more interesting.

By asking these questions, you can also learn a lot about yourself. You show others that you are involved, interested, and respect their personality. You create strong connections, exchange of sincere feelings and genuine information. When others feel valued by you, you create the basis for lasting, mutually beneficial, wonderful relationships.

Most people have never asked themselves these questions. And if they asked, they did not try to find a truthful answer. It's not even about the answer itself, but about the process of finding it. Each of these questions can lead you to think about yourself and the world around you, even if you don’t find the answer. They can move someone from their dead point and make them think about things they usually don’t want to think about.

The order of the questions does not really matter; they are given in the order in which they came to mind. Although several questions that follow each other can be logically connected. There is no need to get hung up on formulating the question and finding an answer to it. First of all, you have to start thinking and this is the main task that goes into them. Therefore, there is no need to look for any hidden meaning in the wording. Just ask them to yourself and reflect, watch your responses, reactions and sensations.

I warn you, many questions are inconvenient, they can hurt your pride, make you think about something unpleasant, but you need to ask yourself them, because your problems cannot be simply ignored. And it is better to ask yourself them now, carefully consider them and come to some decision or conclusion, than to reap the consequences of misconceptions and wrong choices later.

Although these questions may evoke different feelings, the purpose of these questions is not to upset you, but to encourage you to take certain actions. Don't get used to problems, but find solutions to them! I asked and ask myself many of these questions, and they help me get to know myself more deeply and, using this knowledge, move on.

Don’t rush to brush it off, because any question carries a multi-stage system of answers, conclusions, decisions and re-checking you again, giving up unnecessary things and some effort where necessary.

For example:

If I understand that it is difficult for me to communicate with certain people, then I usually think about how to avoid this. Does this help me, what is the difficulty, what am I not doing correctly, what am I running from, where am I hiding, what needs to be changed in myself, what is my fear? And so on...

Or... If I understand that I am lazy, then I think about how to strengthen discipline. Why am I lazy, what is laziness, what does it protect and what helps me, maybe it’s one of necessity and inhibition of something in which I’m incorrect or vice versa - how does it help me and what is the result when I do something, I think about it and don’t rush to do it right away, why am I blaming myself?

There may be many sub-questions - but this is exactly what is necessary to break out of the chain of excuses, misconceptions and ignorance - all in your interests!

You don't have to answer everything at once. You may have to think carefully. Do not rush to immediately answer the question; it may turn out to be a template answer due to stereotypes that have developed in your thinking. These stereotypes are designed to simplify your thinking and protect your ego from the possibility of self-accusation. They work instantly, offering you the most psychologically “comfortable” answer. But such an answer does not mean honest and correct. So take time to reflect, try to get to the bottom of it, and be as honest with yourself as possible.

Hint: Most problems lie within yourself, not in the outside world. And these problems can be solved by working on yourself.

Some questions include a statement. For example, “why do you smoke?” If you do not smoke, skip the question; this does not apply to you. The same applies to all similar questions.

Some questions may puzzle some, but leave others indifferent. This is fine. It is impossible to predict in advance which path your chain of thinking will take and what will attract your attention.

• Why should I care what other people think about me?
• How do my friends treat me?
• Why can't I be alone?
• Why do I drink alcohol?
• Why am I shy and timid?
• How do my loved ones and children treat me?
• Why is it difficult for me to make friends?
• Do I have to be better than everyone else at absolutely everything?
• Is fate unfair to me?
• Why am I swearing?
• What's going on in the world and how does it apply to me?
• What is happening in my country, what do I not like, how does this affect me and what can I personally fix?
• What is happening at my job, what do I not like, how does it affect me and what can I personally fix?
• What is the meaning of my life, what do I want from life?
• Why aren't my plans and dreams coming true?
• Am I happy with my choice?
• How do I make decisions?
• Why am I worried and nervous?
• Who is responsible for what happened in my life this way and not otherwise?
• Who is responsible for making me like this?
• Is the life path that I have chosen for myself the only possible one?
• What is stopping me from living the life I want to live?
• Why did I come up with the idea that I need to live so much?
• Does anyone owe me anything?
• Do I owe anything to anyone?
• Why am I swearing? What's the point of this? What do I want to prove? Are there other ways to resolve conflict?
• Am I gaining anything valuable as a result of these conflicts?
• Why are my emotions getting the better of me?
• Am I an emotional or unemotional person? What's the difference?
• What are emotions?
• I'm in a bad mood, lazy and apathetic. So what? What is it, what is the mechanism?
• Why do I need a tenth dress or a third watch in my dreams?
• What will happen to me in ten, twenty, thirty years?
• Will my life somehow change if I continue to do what I do?
• Am I happy with these prospects?
• What will happen to my health if I continue to lead the lifestyle that I lead now?
• What will happen to me when I get old?
• What will happen if I can’t find pleasure in the things that bring me joy now (sex, food, drinking)?
• I like my job?
• Am I satisfied with my job as a source of income and my life's work?
• Why can't I organize other sources of income?
• What happens if I lose my job?
• Why don't I work remotely?
• Why am I not running my own business?
• Am I less lucky than others?
• What will I do this weekend? And on the next ones? What do I do every weekend?
• Why do I smoke?
• How do I rest, do I have enough rest?
• What do I do in my free time?
• Do I have enough free time?
• Am I getting enough sleep?
• Where am I always in a hurry?
• Do I know how to fill my free time?
• Am I in good physical shape?
• I feel good?
• How is it for me to feel great?
• Where is my attention?
• Am I able to maintain my concentration?
• How to eat healthy for me?
• Am I spending enough time with my loved ones?
• Why do I stay late at work?
• What happens if I leave on time?
• Why do I profess this particular religion and not another, what do I really know about it?
• Are all other religions wrong?
• Am I diligent in fulfilling the commandments of my faith? If not, how can I be sure of the salvation of my soul?
• What's the point in suffering?
• What am I interested in, what are my interests, hobbies, how much time do I devote to it?
• How much time do I spend on social networks?
• How much time do I watch TV?
• How many books have I read in the last year?
• What other interesting music is there?
• Am I educated and erudite enough?
• What do I know about my family?
• What do I not like about my parents and how does it show up in me?
• How do I feel about my mother?
• How do I feel about my father?
• Am I helping my parents?
• Do I say the words “I love you” to my parents, loved ones, children?
• What does a person consist of?
• What is genetics?
• What does an atom consist of?
• How many foreign languages ​​do I know and use?
• How do I react to criticism addressed to me?
• When was the last time I agreed with someone else's opinion that was different from mine and openly admitted it?
• What is the point in those disputes in which each participant does not want to accept the opinions of the other? Is truth born in such disputes?
• Why do I need to prove something to someone?
• When was the last time I praised people, gave them sincere compliments?
• How am I better than those people I don’t like?
• Why do some people not like me?
• Why do they love me?
• Why do I love those I love?
• Have I put in enough effort to recognize my strengths and get rid of my weaknesses?
• How long have I given gifts just like that, for no reason?
• How long has it been since I visited my elderly relatives?
• Are there many people who will provide me selfless help if I need it?
• When was the last time I cleaned my house?
• Do I often stay alone and think about life?
• When was the last time I did something that others didn't approve of and I ended up being happy with my choice?
• Am I getting things done?
• Do I have a developed sense of humor?
• Do I like to be sarcastic and troll others?
• Am I enjoying my life?
• Am I happy?
• Do I often complain about life?
• Why do I consider my problems so significant and serious?
• What am I doing to improve my life?
• Why do wars happen?
• Where do my fears come from?
• Why should I be offended by others?
• Why would I pretend to be something I'm not and who I really am?
• What are my biggest mistakes in life?
• What is my purpose?
• Why am I lonely?
• How do my principles, my worldview help me?
• How to understand yourself?
• How to find yourself?
• How to be yourself?
• How to understand yourself?
• What is it like to live consciously?
• How to live further?
• How to find goals in life?
• How to understand and find your purpose in life?
• How to get satisfaction and recognition in life?
• How to change your life?
• How to live your life?
• How to realize yourself?
• How to set up your personal life?
• How to survive betrayal and betrayal?
• How to overcome a crisis in personal relationships?
• How to get rid of attachment and dependence?
• How to get out of depression?
• How to get rid of the feeling of fear?
• How can I communicate correctly?
• How and what kind of business to do?
• What kind of people are my friends? Why are we together?
• What determines my behavior?
• What is good and what is bad for me?
• Do I listen carefully to other people?
• Am I sensitive to others?
• Am I tough in making decisions?
• Have I caused a lot of suffering to those around me?
• Am I ashamed of my loved ones?
• What do I know about death?
• What am I most afraid of?

There may be many such questions, but if you reached the end of this list and were able to answer them honestly, draw conclusions and slightly change your perception of life, outline a plan for reconstructing your life - this is a very serious act!

Carefully! These questions to yourself can motivate you to change your life and start living for real!

If you constantly ask yourself certain questions, sooner or later, this approach will create a desire to improve yourself. Important questions force the brain and heart to find answers. Very often we do not take these answers seriously, but in fact this happens because we receive TRUE answers and a real assessment of ourselves, and the truth is not always pleasant.

But I believe in the reader, and I believe in myself. Today I ask you to ask yourself 11 questions, face the truth, and listen carefully to what your heart and brain say in response to these questions.

1. Am I spending enough time doing what I love? (Questions to yourself)

Am I spending enough time doing what I love?

Do you think everything is normal? Is everything in balance? Each of us has something that brings us joy and pleasure: be it playing an instrument, design, or spending time with a loved one.
No matter what happens in your life, it is important to always pay attention to these moments so that you don’t have to regret it someday.
It’s very cool if something you love becomes a source of income over time. Listen to what you like. And write it down on paper. After reading this article, you will return to these feelings more than once, and maybe even dare to come up with a plan for turning your hobby into a profitable business. Because today is the perfect time to start realizing your dreams.

2. Will it suit me if in a year I’m doing the same thing I’m doing today?

(Questions to yourself)

If the activity you are involved in is not what you dream of in a year, if you do not want to work in 365 days in the same place where you work now, if the lifestyle you live now is not at all what you would like to see yourself in the future - you urgently need to change everything. Well? And what steps have you decided to take to change your life for the better? What habits do you have? No one will change for you. If you don’t like the quality of your life, the only thing wise to do is to invest time and resources in yourself, self-education and self-development.

If you like asking yourself questions, I recommend reading a couple of articles that will help you move mountains in self-change!

3. Am I healthy?

(Questions to yourself)

Am I healthy?

Come on, let's be honest: do you have any suspicions that your health is failing, or that there are holes in your teeth? If yes, it’s time to set a budget, calculate the time and start taking care of your health before the situation turns critical. Remember that when there is no health, you don’t want anything.

You remember that the body is the temple of the soul. And in a healthy body there is a healthy mind. And it's true. Those who engage in spiritual practices know that body discipline, physical education, yoga, any moderate loads on the development of the body and its stretching increase the tone of the body and increase overall harmony.

In other words, include at least 15 minutes of yoga in your morning routine, and within a month you will become a completely different person.

(Questions to yourself)

Many of you are probably looking for instant happiness. Choosing immediate pleasure but sacrificing long-term happiness? I did that too. But it is important to retrain yourself if you feel dissatisfied. It's time to think ahead. If I drink cola/beer every night to reward myself for a job well done, and don't replace that drink with water, I'll turn into a retiree by the time I'm 40. Therefore, I decided to no longer drink anything that is harmful to my health. If I do yoga every day, by the time I'm 40, I'll be 10 years younger and I'll be 30 again. Wow, that sounds interesting. Even more interesting: if I spend 2 hours every day on developing my business (even a small one), then in the end it will become my source of income, because, as the ancient saying goes,

“You can only fight in the area in which you practice, samurai.”

The things that change our lives the most are the things we do regularly. They can make a man out of you, or they can make a deer out of you. Which is also not bad. But not for long.

6. Do I play the role of the victim, or do I take full responsibility for my life?

(Questions to yourself)

Life is Beautiful. Especially if you work on yourself.

If you are not responsible for your life, your strength leaves you. This is all.
Okay, not all. We can create our life only consciously, only consciously, only by understanding and managing what happens in our lives. The rest is the Creator's game, and so be it. But let this be your personal conversation with him. All the others who try to stand in the way between your dream and you are just playing the role of intermediaries, who need either your money, or your time, or your knowledge to achieve their personal goals.

Something else that might be interesting for you to try: don’t let anyone put feelings/sensations/emotions into your head or heart. Well, of course, positivity is an exception. Only we ourselves have the right to control our lives and emotions. Let's learn! Under the cover of God, of course)

(Questions to yourself)

Yes, everyone wants to be loved and have their opinion valued, but this can lead to rather weak decisions in life. There is an exit. We begin to learn to love ourselves and listen to ourselves first. I’m not saying that we need to grow our EGO here, or forget that the love in our heart grows from sources understandable only to the one who invented our Planet. But if you get involved more often, and make decisions that, IN YOUR VIEW, and IN YOUR FEELINGS, are very OK - you can then train your heart to sow love, and with what power! Because love is when you don’t expect anything in return!
And if you suddenly thought that I mean “ignore the opinions of others,” I hasten to convince you: I just want us to see the opportunity to trust ourselves more often, and this will be enough to steer our lives on the right course.

I tried a lot to learn how to maneuver between my bosses and clients, I learned to follow my line and listen to the customer’s opinion - but in the end I chose what I consider to be true for myself - and everyone is happy. I discovered my source of income, and those qualities that management tried to eradicate in me for years help me develop my business without unnecessary stress, advertising and crazy budgets, live on a paradise island, surf for several hours a day and wake up in the morning while I slept.

8. Am I aware of my capabilities?

(Questions to yourself)

The impossible is possible!

Well, do we have little faith in ourselves? Do we look at those who have achieved something and consider them better?
Friends, everything is not so sad. They just started earlier and besides the fact that they started, they also CONTINUE doing it. Each of us has similar capabilities - it just takes a little knowledge, work, and self-discipline. But the most important thing is to believe in yourself, and that you can EASILY change everything. Why do I emphasize “easy”? Because all the wheels in the world have already been invented, you just need to take a step towards knowledge and, by analogy, make your own personal success story!

9. What steps can I take today to change my life for the better?

(Questions to yourself)

If every morning during meditation or prayer (whichever is more convenient), you ask the question “What do I need to do?”, then the answers will fall on your head. Just have time to substitute the notepad. And then it's life.

Every day there is something to do, every day you can be busy. No matter how small or big the matter is, they all matter towards our goals. And they are the ones who can influence our future.

If not today, then when?

10. What is it like to live the life I dream of?

(Questions to yourself)

This is one of the most important questions that should help you picture yourself in the world you dream of. There is no need to think that there is something bad in changing yourself and your life for the better, and that this may somehow differ from life “here and now.” If you are unhappy with something, it is better to change it. If you hold a picture in your head for a long enough time with a better idea of ​​yourself and the future, then this begins to generate positive emotions, and turns on the Law of Positive Attraction, or Law of Attraction / when opportunities themselves begin to “stick” to you. Your confidence in your abilities will increase, which has an incredibly powerful effect, and you will begin to move forward. Move NOW.

11. Do I share love with others?

(Questions to yourself)

The rule in our Universe is that what you give is what you receive. Give love to others, and it will not only bring pleasure at that very moment, but will also come back to you positively in the future! When we begin to devote our lives to serving others, miracles happen to us. Do something good today, just like that, from the bottom of your heart. And tomorrow again. Always like this. And your life will turn into paradise. Isn’t this what we are told about from all holy sources?
Ask yourself these questions and write down the answers. And after that - act! You have been given life, live it in love and joy!
I hope this lesson will move the stone of shyness in your desires, and you will begin to surprise me with letters and stories of your suddenly changing life!

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