Faktrum I wondered: why do we do strange things and what is behind this behavior?
1. Reluctance to change toilet paper roll
On the list of difficult things we have to do every day is replacing an empty roll. toilet paper will take last place.
But for some reason, many of us find it difficult to complete this simple procedure. Why? According to psychologists, the reason is not our laziness, but the fact that replacing the roll does not offer us any internal reward for the effort.
Similar household chores, such as taking out the trash or washing the dishes, are almost as boring and there is no special motivation for them either, but at least they give us inner satisfaction, because after completing these tasks the house will stop smelling. there will be no rodents.
Psychologists say that a truly motivating task must include three elements: competence, autonomy and relatedness.
Hard work should be challenging enough for us to feel competent when we finish it. We also need to feel that we have some control over what we do. Plus, this work should give us the feeling that by doing it, we are improving our relationships with loved ones.
2. The desire to bite cute things
Every time a child appears nearby, someone always tells him (always in a cutesy voice) that he will “eat him”, “bite him on the finger” or on some other part of the body. Similar conversations also arise when there are puppies or something else equally cute nearby.
So where do we get this desire to eat cute things as a joke? Scientists have two theories about this. The first is that the “wires” in our brain that are responsible for pleasure “short circuit” in moments of emotion.
When people (and especially women) see a newborn baby, they get the rush of dopamine that occurs, for example, when a person eats a tasty meal. This overlay of meanings makes us subconsciously want to put a cute thing in our mouth.
Another theory is that biting is a form of play seen in many mammals and that it is a manifestation of our animal side. Many animals lightly bite each other and playfully fight among themselves. It is not yet clear why they do this: to hone their fighting skills, to improve motor coordination, or just for fun.
3. Inappropriate laughter
Many of us tend to laugh at completely inappropriate moments - for example, when we see someone fall and hurt themselves or when we convey bad news to someone.
And although we know perfectly well that there is nothing funny about the death of our grandmother, we struggle to contain our fits of laughter at her funeral. Laughter in similar situations does not fit into social standards at all, but this happens quite often, and there is a reason for this.
When we laugh in a solemn atmosphere, it does not mean that we are heartless and do not respect others. This is probably a sign that our body is under the influence of a huge emotional stress uses laughter to relieve tension and discomfort.
And the giggle we make when someone falls or otherwise hurts themselves is an evolutionary function that lets the tribe know that although the person may be embarrassed or slightly hurt, there is no serious cause for alarm.
In general, laughter is rarely a reaction to something “legitimately funny.” Neuroscientist Sophie Scott says laughter is the most commonly used method social association, in order to let people know that we like them, that we agree with them, or that we are in the same social group with them.
4. Fascination with psychopaths
Many people are attracted to creepy things, especially psychopaths. Late-night TV shows are filled with crazy killers, and for some reason we find them interesting. What arouses our interest in the most vile type of people?
There are three theories to explain this obsession. The first is that observing psychopaths allows us to temporarily leave our law-abiding lives and imagine ourselves in the shoes of someone who thinks only about himself and does not do anything that we do every day - for example, does not worry about justice or about the feelings of others.
The second theory is that psychopaths are a type of predator, and when we hear about them, it takes us back to the basics of our existence, where there is always a hunter and a prey. Stories about human predators allow us to touch our animal essence without real threat life.
The third theory is that we are attracted to psychopaths for the same reason we are attracted to roller coasters and horror films. Sometimes we just want to be scared, and stories about maniacs can fill that need. And all because fear causes a surge of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which, among other things, is responsible for the feeling of pleasure.
5. Visibility of awareness
Many of us have probably been in a situation where someone randomly asks, “Hey, have you heard of so-and-so?” And we automatically answer: “Yes.” Although if we had time to think about the answer, we would realize that we actually don’t even understand who we are being asked about.
In addition, some people feign knowledge although they know nothing about the subject under discussion. Scientists have studied this psychological crutch and found that most people use it to express their individuality and simply because it is convenient.
Many of us don't have a clear idea of what we really know and what we don't, and so when asked, we may unconsciously falsify our own knowledge.
Another, perhaps more obvious reason The reason why people feign knowledge is because they like to feel like know-it-alls. But why? Scientists say that our society glorifies knowledge, and being knowledgeable in some area is a plus. social status, especially if your parents were also know-it-alls.
6. Crying
Crying seems quite common, and no one would think of calling it strange. But if we look at it in more detail, then what is happening is salty water, dripping from our eyes at some particularly emotional moments, looks a little bizarre.
How are eyes, emotions and tears connected? Psychologists argue that crying is primarily a social signal, evolutionarily related to danger signals.
Young animals may make a specific distress call to let other animals know they need help. It has been suggested that crying arose as a way for humans to show their suffering without giving off alarm signals that would make others wary.
From an evolutionary perspective, this may have been a smart move, since it meant the other members of the tribe only had to look at the crybaby to know he wasn't in trouble. Interestingly, humans are the only species that produces emotional tears. Most other animals stop making danger warning sounds when they become adults.
7. Twitching when falling asleep
70% of people experience involuntary twitching of their limbs when falling asleep. Unfortunately, scientists still do not know why these spasms occur, but they, of course, have certain assumptions.
Some researchers believe that these twitches are nothing more than random reactions that arise due to the fact that our nerves malfunction, moving from a state of wakefulness to a state of sleep.
This is because our bodies don't have switches to press before we go to sleep. Instead, we gradually move from a state where our reticular activating system (the one that regulates the main physiological processes) works in full force, in a state when the ventrolateral system begins to work (it is this system that causes drowsiness and affects sleep cycles).
We can be between these states, for example, when we really want to sleep, or we can start to fight, firmly positioning ourselves in one state or another. It is because of this struggle, as scientists believe, that malfunctions occur in our “ignition system”, leading to twitching.
8. Gossip
Women are usually considered gossipers, but men are just as guilty of this social transgression. At least one study suggests that men gossip 32% more often than women throughout the day. What is the reason for this?
The fact is that most people have an innate desire to immediately become close to others. And this desire may well outweigh any moral obligations.
We want to form social connections with those who are nearby and gossip not only gives us a reason to talk about something, but also creates a feeling of trust, which begins with a series of signals that the talker gives to his interlocutor.
The interlocutor, in turn, shares the proposed secret, and thus contact is established. Gossip also gives us a feeling of superiority, it can cheer us up and brings some excitement to boring situations.
9. Love for sad films
Every day all sorts of nonsense happens to us, we are haunted by sorrows and failures, so it seems strange that some of us want to spend our leisure hours in even greater sadness. And despite this, we regularly sit down to watch melodramas.
This may seem paradoxical but the reason is that contemplating tragedies actually makes us feel happier. Watching tragedy on screen makes people explore them own lives and look for the positives in them.
However, the researchers point out that this reaction is somewhat different from the reaction of a person who watches a tragic movie and thinks, “Damn, at least I’m not as bad as that guy.”
Such viewers have a more selfish outlook, they are focused on themselves rather than others, and therefore do not feel happier after watching the film.
In addition, watching melodramas or listening to sad stories makes us feel empathy and causes our brain to release a special hormone that increases our sense of caring. Scientists call oxytocin the “moral molecule” because it makes us more generous and compassionate.
10. Awkward silence
Whether we have anything to say or not, many of us feel the urge to fill every moment of silence with conversation. Why does prolonged silence make us feel so uncomfortable?
Like many other things in our behavior, it all comes down to the desire to fit perfectly into social group. According to psychologists, when a conversation stops flowing smoothly, we begin to think that something has gone wrong.
We may begin to think that we are uninteresting and that what we say is irrelevant, which makes us worry about our position in the group. If the dialogue goes as expected, we feel confirmation of our social status.
However, not all cultures consider silence in conversation to be awkward. For example, in Japan, long pauses in conversation can be a sign of respect, especially if the conversation is about a serious issue.
Alexey Stepanov06.05.2015
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What is the name of the strongest impulse of love, accompanied by a terrible desire to squeeze and squeeze? What is the irresistible urge to bite a loved one called? Why do these emotions arise towards loved ones and cute animals?
That irresistible feeling when you want to hurt someone out of love and just kiss them is called gigil. This unusual word fully describes the colorful emotion caused by an overabundance of feelings. Sometimes, in a rush of gijil, we actually deliver painful sensations beloved. Extremely relevant with small children and animals.
What is gijil and why does it occur?
This question still does not have any precise scientific explanations. One thing is known: when gijil emotions arise, a huge amount of adrenaline and endorphin is released into the human blood. Moreover, the latter is produced in an amount commensurate with the production during a passionate kiss or tender embrace.
Some scientists suggest that gijil and the construction of this sensation are nothing more than an innate reflex that has been going on for a long time.
If you pay attention to animals, you can also notice that some individuals show something similar to their own, for example, kittens.
This feeling especially often overcomes females. Due to their emotionality, they most often manage to feel this positive experience. The most striking thing is that men's gijil manifests itself with exactly the same force as women's. By the way, usually their perception of emotions is somewhat weaker.
Is it possible to control gigil?
No, this emotion cannot be controlled. Whenever an “object of passion” comes into view, a feeling will inevitably arise. Of course, like any other manifestations of tenderness or passion, they can be kept to yourself.
Surprisingly, the feeling of gijila does not last long - it has a cumulative effect. As soon as the target that you wanted to squeeze and bite from the overflow of emotions will always be next to you, the feelings will fade away. One has only to part with the “victim” - the desire to experience gijil will return.
There was a conflict between two women in the Moscow metro. And he would not have been so curious if after him one of the participants in the swearing had not bit the other. The woman had to be hospitalized with injuries to her hands and a scratched face. “Futurist” decided to figure out how often people bite each other, and also asked a clinical psychologist to comment on this situation.
An unpleasant incident occurred at the Tekstilshchiki station on the Tagansko-Krasnopresnenskaya line of the Moscow metro on February 1. According to Life.ru, after a heated conflict, one woman bit the other. The victim was hospitalized with injuries to her hands and a scratched face. And this is not the first case of traumatic human bites in the world: just remember heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson with his opponent's ear in his teeth or brutal behavior on the field of the striker of the Uruguayan national football team Luis Suarez.
Is a human bite dangerous?
The news of one person biting another sounds both creepy and funny. It's creepy because it smacks of a zombie apocalypse and animal aggression. It's funny because it's rare and doesn't seem serious. Well, what has to happen for one person to bite another? And can it cause serious injury a human bite, because humans have neither sharp fangs nor super-strong jaws?
A study was published in the American Emergency Medicine Journal in 2007, according to which men are most often bitten (92%), and most of them (86%) are in a state of alcohol intoxication. In 20% of cases, the bite became infected and patients required additional treatment. But the circumstances under which a person was injured most often remain unknown: the victims do not like to talk about it or lie. Therefore, about the reasons that prompt people to bite, statistical science little is known. More precisely, nothing at all.
So what can cause a person to bite?
We asked this question to an expert in deviant behavior, clinical psychologist, candidate psychological sciences, medical psychologist Moscow Scientific and Practical Center for Narcology Yulia Vladimirovna Korchagina :
“Biting behavior” is not typical for adults. But children bite quite often. This is how kids try to show their emotions, and not necessarily related to aggression and self-defense: a child can bite his mother out of an excess of feelings, in a surge of tenderness. As children get older, they stop biting because this behavior goes against social norms.
Biting in an adult can be due to many reasons, and each specific case need to be considered separately - you can’t brush everyone here with the same brush. Maybe, we're talking about about serious mental disorders within the framework of “big psychiatry”: schizophrenia, bipolar personality disorder, severe cognitive impairment. During periods of mental confusion, mentally ill people cannot control their behavior and, yes, sometimes they bite.
Altered states of consciousness cannot be discounted in cases of overdose of alcohol or drugs (hallucinogens and stimulants) or in delirium associated with abrupt withdrawal of these same drugs (for example, delirium tremens). In both cases, people often perceive the world as hostile, which can lead to inadequate aggressive behavior: chasing relatives with an ax or trying to bite strangers.
Sometimes we are talking about regressive behavior of mentally healthy people caused by peak emotional overload. Sometimes the psyche is even very healthy person unable to cope with the excessive load, and then one can observe a short-term regression, a return to “childish” and “wild” behavior patterns. There are socially acceptable forms of regression, for example, you can be naughty and stomp your foot, hug a pillow and cry. But in an emotionally peak situation associated with aggression and self-defense, regressive biting can also emerge.”
Have you ever had the desire, when you are communicating with someone you care about, to bite him? Most people have experienced this at least once in their lives. Scientists explain the reasons for this phenomenon different countries could not be found for decades. This riddle troubled the minds of many people until the English research fellows did not find out the reason. So why do you want to bite a person?
We need to start with the fact that different people feelings manifest themselves in different ways. Some cannot restrain themselves and literally rush into the arms of their loved one, while others, on the contrary, are very restrained and do not show their true intentions. This is explained different quantities happiness hormones: dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline, endorphins, oxytocin and vasopressin, which are released in the human body. Those who are more active in relationships have more of them, those who are passive have less. This difference has been a problem for many couples, often leading to divorce.
The methods of showing your affection are also different. For example, hug, kiss, just touch any part of the body. This is a completely ordinary manifestation of tenderness towards another. But what if instead of tenderness they show a little unusual methods, like a desire to bite a person? Doesn't this mean lack of feelings or perversion? Scientists from Yale University found out what the reason was.
The fact is that our brain is very complex and confusing. Depending on many factors that influenced the person before the event, the reaction to it may be different. For example, when we win the lottery, we may cry with happiness, laugh, or want to hit someone. This is normal, this is just the variability of our consciousness. And, depending on internal state the action we take to show emotion will also change. This characteristic feature humans, because there are a very small number of creatures that show one reaction in different ways.
And now main question: « Why do you want to bite a person?" This needs to be broken down into several subcategories in order to fully understand the essence. In total, a similar phenomenon manifests itself in relation to a person in two interpretations: between individuals of the opposite sex and from a mother to her child.
In the first case, everything is quite simple. We feel attracted to our loved one, trying with all our might to show them. Ordinary words seems too small a manifestation for us, so we use the language of “touch” described by Gary Champagne in the book “The Five Love Languages”. Among others, this method is the most sensual and shows great affection. One of the forms of manifestation of “tactile” communication is bites. By doing this, we are trying to show all the emotions that are seething within us. But sometimes all this is so strong that you literally want to eat your other half completely. There is a theory why this happens. Psychoanalysts explain everything by saying that this is how a person tries to “merge in ecstasy” with his object of desire. In addition, we subconsciously choose the soul mate who personally smells most attractive to us. What do people do with something that smells delicious? That's right, let's eat. But the second theory is based on the inconsistency of the feelings that we experience. At the same time there is both love and hatred for the beloved. That is, we want to hug and touch as much as possible, because we love, and we want to destroy the object of desire, so as not to experience suffering due to the fact that we cannot fully connect, because we hate. It is because of this confrontation in our minds that thoughts arise to bite or swallow our neighbor.
In the second case, everything is much more complicated. Now this is connected not with human psychology, but with instincts and evolutionary processes. The fact is that mothers experience a certain feeling for their child, similar to hunger. That is, when they see their baby, their emotions are similar to what a hungry person feels when looking at delicious food. This has nothing to do with cannibalism, but a completely different phenomenon. The explanation for this phenomenon is very complex and confusing, involving many mechanisms of evolution that have helped us survive. Therefore, all you need to know: such a desire is quite normal, it is not a disease, but only natural processes in the body, during which enzymes necessary for the functioning of the body are released, which cause it to act this way.
An interesting assumption on this topic is another theory of the origin of such a feeling. If we like a person for some character trait, we try to absorb it into ourselves like a sponge. Sometimes in a rather drastic way. Like the ancient people, who considered the lion to be a brave animal, and wanted to eat its heart to gain courage. And not only animal organs could end up on dinner table. Some tribes of cannibal aborigines even had a tradition of eating the heart of the most worthy member of their family. No one refused this fate; it was considered the most a dignified death. They themselves wanted this, since such an event was considered the highest manifestation respect. They also believed that thanks to this the gods would notice them and take them into their personal retinue.
There is another theory worthy of attention. It is based on the fact that we are interested in finding out what is inside a person so dear to us, to consider everything in more detail. An example is the desire of children to disassemble, break or tear something, even a living one. This is done out of pure curiosity, there are no evil intentions, it’s just something I wanted to do. This is the case because people are quite inquisitive by nature.
From all of the above, it turns out that you shouldn’t be afraid to express your feelings for your loved one with a bite; this is quite natural. Even if you want to completely eat your loved one, you don’t need to avoid it. It’s better to show your love in this way than without any emotions at all. Although sometimes you need to restrain completely sadistic desires, such as beating a person, or worse.
A man, unlike a woman, very rarely leaves bite marks during coitus. This may seem surprising. After all, a man could well have inherited from his distant ancestors the tendency to bite a female during copulation. If this does happen, then bite marks remain on the woman’s neck, most often on the left side.The origin of love bites should not be sought in sadism. A woman's tendency to bite can be explained as a heightened desire to kiss a man more strongly during a moment of ecstasy. To this end, she intensifies the sucking of her partner's shoulder or neck and uses her teeth. Such actions of hers excite not only her partner, but also herself even more. IN in this case in the pleasure of both ecstasy and suffering are mixed.
Ecstasy is caused physical impact- irritation of nerve endings on a man’s body and mental - a manifestation of a woman’s uncontrollable desire to express her love as strongly as possible.
The second component of pleasure - pain - is almost not felt during strong erotic arousal.
A love bite does not break the skin and does not lead to open bleeding (the bloody fluid that can be seen at the site of a recent love kiss is most often saliva, stained with blood, secreted by the gums), is not a real wound and leaves a mark only for a few days or several weeks, in the form of a reddish-blue spot, which then turns yellow-green and disappears, leaving no trace.
It is quite possible that a bite during sexual intercourse is a manifestation of primitive sexual repulsion between the sexes, and not at all passionate love.
Sexual attraction, as a rule, prevails only temporarily, while mutual repulsion between the sexes is stronger and more stable. Hatred is often hidden behind love, and this is one of the deepest tragedies of man.
Thus, both the love bite of a woman, as well as the strong pat that a man makes or wants to make on the buttocks of his partner after the end of sexual intercourse, have great importance and do not relate to anomalous phenomena.
Gentle nipping is good for any kiss. But this, of course, does not mean that every loving kiss must necessarily be accompanied by bites. However, at the climax love games When the power of the kiss reaches its climax, the bites are simply stunning. At the same time, there is a certain limit for the strength of the bite, beyond which bites already become a manifestation of sexual perversion, for example sadism.
Many sex therapists believe that the line between normality and pathology lies where the first signs of cruelty begin to appear.
A real love bite is possible not only during love games, but also during sexual intercourse itself, both at the moment of increasing pleasure and at the moment of orgasm.
The areas of the body most preferred for such a love bite are the shoulder in a man, usually the left, or the subclavian region, in a woman the neck (also on the left side) and both side surfaces upper half of the body. The reason why these areas are preferred is because relative position bodies during coitus.
The desire to bite a partner during lovemaking is more pronounced in women than in men. A passionate woman often leaves a man with a memory of the night spent in the form of a small oval on the shoulder, which is the result of subcutaneous hemorrhage. Women bite their partner most often during or immediately after intercourse, while male love bites, which are less forceful and more gentle, leaving a much smaller mark, are more common during lovemaking before intercourse or in the postlude stage.
Does this mean that a man during sexual intercourse is more careful and careful towards a woman than a woman is towards him, and consciously controls himself at the moment of ecstasy? Not at all! The whirlwind of pleasure carries him away with the same force as her, and this is often evidenced by the numerous bruises on her arms or back.