How to Stop Being Afraid of Fights: Heartfelt Fearlessness vs. Helpless Bravado

May 3, 2017 - One comment

“I’m not afraid of a fight because of the blood or the shame. I'm just afraid! Something doesn't give me. When I tried to hit back, my head began to spin and sparks flew from my eyes!”

“I have a completely different problem. I have been involved in sports for 5 years - taekwondo. I do sparring during training without any problems. And on the street, if anything happens, my knees always shake.”

“I’m 17, I’m afraid to fight, I just imagine that I’m hitting them, and when it comes to fighting, I’m afraid. I’m shaking, what should I do?”

Run, fight or faint

“You have to calm down, get your fear under control, stop panicking.”

For a person who has knowledge of System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan, the problem of the ineffectiveness of such advice is obvious. It is impossible to influence with consciousness the hidden, subconscious causes of fear itself. It's like trying to persuade your left kidney to stop functioning for a couple of minutes, for example.

The mechanism of the feeling of fear has passed long haul evolution. Thanks to him and the strong desire to preserve themselves at any cost, our ancestors managed to survive in very difficult and hazardous conditions. Therefore, in certain situations, our body “automatically” performs specific preparatory actions: adrenaline enters the blood, pulse and breathing quicken, muscles are filled with “energy”. The body is on edge, like a mainspring. RUN OR FIGHT!

In the animal world, both options are absolutely acceptable. The main thing is to preserve yourself. But there is a third option - to fall and pretend to be “inanimate.” It’s just that the third option is accompanied by people severe suffering.

An excerpt from the life of an ordinary teenager

College, first year. I somehow did my homework for tomorrow, my head can’t think straight at all. Went to bed early. I couldn't sleep until three in the morning. Then I somehow passed out, most likely from moral exhaustion, but disturbing dreams did not allow me to get enough sleep.

My mother noticed my anxiety at breakfast. I started asking questions, what should I tell her? How was I humiliated yesterday by some freaks right in the main lobby of the technical school? How scared I was of a fight? How did you feel at that moment? And that the feeling of enormous hatred for them and unbearable contempt for oneself does not leave even for a minute...

Most likely, today will be the same, if not worse. As soon as it started to get colder in October, these bastards moved from the street smoking room in their entire gang to the hall of the main building. Now they pester normal students with their idiotic jokes. And why did this most healthy and impudent person pick on me? Miraculously escaped a fight. Yes, it wouldn’t be a fight, but a one-goal game - all against one.

Well, how can I stop being hysterical and stop being afraid of this “gorilla”? Maybe take a sedative? I'll have to be late for the first couple today. I'll wait until everyone leaves the hall.

Damn autumn with its cold weather...

A victim will always remain a victim, unless...

The dog doesn’t see your pale face, your eyes wide open in horror. He doesn’t feel your body trembling and doesn’t understand your words about mercy. But she can smell your fear. He intoxicates her and causes an irresistible desire to rush at his victim.

Absolutely everything on our planet, from stone to man, obeys general law attraction. Or, in other words, the law of self-preservation. However, there are people who are not able to preserve themselves - to protect themselves with the “traditional” in a natural way. This is what it means certain features psyches, which are fully revealed only by the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.

These are people with visual vector. They are born with the most strong feeling fear for your life. At proper education As you grow older, you can get rid of this fear. Bring it out of yourself into a feeling of empathy and compassion for another person, for a group of people or for all of humanity. In a particularly developed state, these are the greatest humanists in history who saved millions human lives.

IN otherwise, when braking mental development V early years, a person becomes hostage to constant worry, anxiety and panic. And this threatens with real phobias. And then a person is simply unable to cope with himself and solve his problem of fears on his own.

Worrying certain emotions, people smell special. The brighter the emotions, the stronger the smells. That is, some people unconsciously broadcast their states with the help of pheromones, while others, also without realizing it, accept them: they feel them. Fear gives rise to the strongest smell.

Therefore, in order to avoid a fight, you should not make ferocious grimaces, pray to the god of fire or light candles for the repose of the soul of the offender. These poultices will have little effect on your internal state.

What does a baboon in trousers want?

A person lives only for pleasure. If he receives it, he is happy, but if he doesn’t, he gets upset, irritated, and hates it. Who? Naturally, other people. He will not blame a tree or a brick wall for his problems, make claims to her or start a fight with her.

“I want and I don’t get” is the root of any conflict. Beginning with kindergarten and further: from “let me light a cigarette...” to world wars. I want attention, I want respect, I want what the other person has. I want to have a better position in society. Want Want want...

Unfortunately, not every person is able to understand their abilities and develop their talents. Therefore, in adult life such a person does not know what to do to enjoy life.

Some remain in a not very developed state: they have grown in body, but in their psyche they are stuck at the animal level. From the constant “I want and don’t get”, strong internal tension, which cannot accumulate indefinitely. That's why people periodically dump it: some with hysterics, others with petty theft.

But there are also those who prefer to use physical violence- provoke fights. Violent crimes, as proven by the system-vector psychology of Yuri Buran, are about a person with anal vector .

To overcome fear, you need to understand it the real reason. Only in this case does the internal state change. Fear pheromones, which previously scattered like “umbrellas” from a dandelion, simply stop being released. A person stops “smelling like a victim.” Accordingly, they change external signs: look, voice, gait, thoughts.

Knowing your potential offender will also help you stop being afraid. Upon understanding the reasons for it bad conditions panic at visual person replaced by sympathy. The offender will feel this unconsciously, and the fight can be avoided. But you should still not forget about the need to defend yourself if a fight is unavoidable.

***

Knowledge of system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan gives the opportunity not only to stop being afraid of a fight, but also to solve the problem of any fear forever. Moreover, in our lives there is enough conflict situations and without physical impact. They also require understanding other people's reactions and the courage to accept right decisions.

“...The constant oppressive feeling of anxiety is gone, I always feel balanced and calm, not detached, but calm.

I’ll tell you a secret, I was an outcast at school (to put it mildly), you can imagine what an achievement it is to stop hating and despising people, I begin to be drawn to them, take an interest, I know what exactly and to whom I need to say in order to automatically win them over. Communication has become more convenient and comfortable than ever for me and especially for others :)
I feel people, what they love, how they live, what can be expected from this or that, who can and cannot be trusted. I wouldn’t want my story to be boring, I’ll just say: if you have a feeling of anxiety, fear (for yourself and others), depression, apathy, lack of hope for tomorrow, doubts about yourself and your loved ones, irritation, resentment a person who seems impossible to forget - you can deal with it. Come to the lecture and you won't regret it. Tested for myself..."

“...Many fears have gone and continue to go away. I didn’t have phobias, any obsessive or severe fears, but those that did exist were often unconscious or repressed, only certain situations can become their catalyst. But when you understand the roots of fear, then you begin to control impulses from the unconscious, decipher them and realize the sources - and fear cannot be born, it does not exist..."

Any fight should require from the fighter not only physical training, but also certain moral forces. They are necessary in order to meet your opponent, to challenge him and not be afraid to take a blow. Even experienced fighters who enter the ring every day sometimes don’t know how not to be afraid to fight. However, the natural fear of beatings can be overcome, but to do this you will have to undergo a course of psychological and physical training.

What causes fear of a fight?

Why is a person afraid to face his opponents in a fist fight? Everything here is quite prosaic, and the reason lies in the natural instinct of self-preservation. The brain gives certain signals, analyzes possible turns of the collision, making a person worry about future injuries. What other reasons can give rise to a nagging feeling of fear before battle?

We are talking specifically about professional clashes, when a person enters the ring with specific purpose. If he is simply attacked in the alley, fear does not have time to become active, and the fighter himself is driven by the natural desire to protect himself and survive.

Most often, psychologists explain such cowardice by physical unpreparedness. The lack of proper fighting skills affects the fact that a person does not feel confident, he is afraid to even step into the ring. Sometimes they come into play psychological aspects. Thus, many professional fighters spread rumors about their increased aggressiveness and inadequacy in the ring. These rumors influence their rivals, giving them a natural feeling of fear for their lives.

Ways to deal with fear

How to stop being afraid to fight, and what needs to be done for this? When asking these questions, a person usually plans to receive a specific, intelligible answer. However, there are no clear techniques to combat the problem.

Psychologists and experienced trainers advise in such situations to turn to the following methods of overcoming fear:

• improving your fighting skills, because what better person fights, the less afraid he is to enter the ring;
• communication with a psychologist to improve moral preparation for battle;
• a person needs to enter the ring again and again, and against strong opponents, overcoming fear during each fight;
• learning the tricks of fighting and false swings will also help reduce the fear of battle;
• Before a fight, you need to properly set yourself up and project your thoughts exclusively towards victory.

It is physically impossible to completely eradicate fear, since this natural sensation helps a person maintain life in stressful conditions. A fighter without fear is doomed, because he will always get into trouble, which will ultimately lead to disastrous consequences.

The first and most important advice in such a situation is to continue training. How more people knows and knows how, the less he fears his opponent. The fighter is aware of his own superiority, and therefore strives to take part in a new fight.

This rule applies not only to professional fights in the ring, but also to street fights. If a guy is bullied by hooligans, he is afraid to fight back because he simply doesn’t know how to do it. However, training in a variety of martial arts can help turn this fear into a deadly skill.

Psychological preparation techniques cannot be ignored either. Often good fighters lose to less experienced opponents because they lack confidence. They are pre-set to lose, and therefore enter the ring doomed. A psychologist should always work with a fighter, convincing him of his superiority, cultivating a certain moral and ethical image of the winner.

Fighting a stronger opponent: rules for dealing with fear

Sometimes an experienced fighter enters the ring, confident both in his abilities and in his victory. However, when he sees an opponent as huge as a rock, his confidence disappears, it is replaced by fear, and the battle is lost.

It is always easier to fight weak opponents than to fight those who are superior to you. physical strength. However, only a fight with the latter type can finally dispel all fears. How to defeat an opponent who is larger and stronger than the fighter himself?

The main rule in the fight against an opponent whose strength turns out to be greater is not to give up, not to give up. As soon as a person accepts defeat, fear will cover him completely, and the battle will be lost. The fight must be waged to the last, perceiving your opponent not as a powerful and invincible villain, but as a person with his own minor weaknesses.

Psychologists say that with the right attitude, a person can defeat anyone. Once the fight has already begun and the first blow has been struck, fear usually recedes. In such a situation, natural instincts come into force and the body’s defensive function is triggered.

To defeat an opponent, while forgetting about fear, you first need to defeat yourself. If a person improves his skills, not forgetting about psychological preparation, then it is not he who will have to be afraid, but potential rivals.

Sergey, Moscow

Almost every person has a fear of fighting, but often you need to overcome yourself and fight. How can you not be afraid to fight?

Almost every person has a fear of fighting and this state is quite natural. The fear of fighting may be caused entirely for various reasons, but it is possible to overcome it. So, how can you not be afraid to fight?

Imagine the situation: you are returning home peacefully and suddenly a couple of strangers with clearly bad intentions meet on your way. Well, let’s say your weight categories are approximately the same, but there is no way to escape. Even if a fight is inevitable, almost anyone will try to resolve the situation peacefully. Unfortunately, few people succeed in this. Where does a person's fear of fighting come from?

Often the roots of this fear go back to distant childhood: the first blow dealt to you in the sandbox for taking away a toy. The fear of fighting may be motivated by fear of punishment. Often, upbringing itself “does not allow you to fight.” Remember your school years: in almost every class there was one “little man” on whom, if possible, strong classmates “practised blows”. It often happens that this person may not be weak, but neither his strength nor his height inspires fear in the offender. He endures ridicule, meekly accepts blows, and actually exists in the role of a “scapegoat” almost until graduation day. Basically, such guys are distinguished by an intelligent upbringing, quite gentle character. In their childhood, the principle is laid down: “fighting is not good”!

There is another reason for fear, which is more typical of girls - this is your subconscious. What does every pretty person treasure? Naturally, one’s own appearance, which may suffer in a fight: knocked out teeth, a scratched face, a broken nose - a picture that is clearly not characteristic of beauty.

Handsome guys are also afraid to fight; they have something to lose, even if they are confident. Remember American actor Mickey Rourke. Handsome Rourke fought 8 fights from 1991 to 1994 and paid with a broken nose, a crushed cheekbone, and multiple broken arms.

I am terribly depressed by the thought that I have lost my appearance. I get upset when I see myself in my old films. I was much more attractive, it's terrible. It's disgusting to see you getting worse. Mickey Rourke

Often the reason for the fear of fighting lies in another fear, which can be called “fear of pain.”

Having identified the cause of fear, you need to begin to eradicate it. First, you need to learn a simple law - very often, even in the civilized world, animal rules apply. The strong will survive and the weak will perish.

There is some psychological technique, thanks to which you can overcome your fear of fighting. It consists in the following: the human subconscious cannot distinguish real event from fictional. It is enough to imagine a situation where a fight is inevitable and mentally calculate your steps. What would you do next, where would you strike the offender? The ability to stand up for yourself plays a significant role here.

Great importance Of course, your skills also play a role. Sign up for a class, look through books on self-defense, join a fight club. Eradicate your fear, because the outcome unforeseen situations depends largely on whether you have fear or not.

And remember the words of the legendary boxer Muhammad Ali: Not a single blow, except a solar blow, should remain unanswered.

Fear of fighting is a problem for many people, especially teenagers and young men. Fear arises due to inexperience, fear of blood, pain, defeat. Naturally, many do not want to be a weak-willed beast, to endure humiliation and blows.

Are you afraid to fight and don’t know what to do? I will tell you how to overcome this psychological barrier. Fear is natural for any normal living creature; it helps to survive, but moderation is important in everything. Some, due to fear of a fight, go into a stupor, lose the ability to speak, tremble in their veins, etc.

First, decide what is more important to you, think about whether you want the best part of your life to be a sad piece of shit that everyone wipes their feet on, or to solve this problem once and for all. This change in thinking is important, even if you fail, although you only need to set yourself up for victory. Some people are afraid to hit their enemy in the face for the first time. Calm down. It’s only difficult to overcome the barrier the first time, then everything will go like clockwork.

Very good way combating phobias - getting closer to the cause of this fear. If you are afraid to fight, step over this fear once, and it will go away. Otherwise, you will be trampled and despised by everyone as a piece of shit, then resign yourself to such a fate and stop reading this article, such is your lot.

Psychological attitude

This is one of the most important advice- get ready for a duel, convince yourself that you are a winner, that if you retreat, you will save - you will be a “shit” and a “schmuck” until you grow old.

I’ll tell you about something that is well known to those who practice martial arts, psychological method mood for battle - “phantom replacement”. This method is indicative of “animal” styles: crane, tiger, monkey, etc. identification of oneself with the animal occurs. The fighter entrusts himself to the spirit of the beast, eliminating himself as a person. The human personality turns off and the beast turns on, he fights.

This is a very effective psychotechnic because it switches off logical thinking and reflex development is activated, qualities characteristic of a particular animal.

It is not necessary to associate yourself with animals; any object that meets certain requirements can be used to select a phantom: it must be positively perceived by the fighter himself; there must be faith in his invincibility, objective and subjective; there must be similarities with the fighter himself; specific tactical focus.

Pull it out of your memory, or better yet, come up with an image with best qualities and abilities. It could be a samurai, Bruce Lee, a tank, a train, a Terminator, a creature that is similar in some features and psychotype to you. The Phantom should complement the shortcomings of the fighter himself. For example, if you are afraid of pain from blows and injuries, and are indecisive, choose the image of a tank. The tank is steel, powerful, it knows no pain and it sweeps away everything in its path.

How to enter such a state?

To make it easier to enter a phantom state, you need to specify your ideal qualities, imagine yourself in the image of a phantom, and look at the world through its eyes. We need to think about developing a key to transition to this state, a kind of “toggle switch”. The key can be verbal (a specific word); mental (image representation); kinesthetic (certain muscle tension).

Unfortunately, it is very easy to imagine a situation where it is vital for you to get involved in a fight. For example, when you are returning home late in the evening, and on your way, in a poorly lit place, a group of people appears whose mood, to put it mildly, is not conducive to friendly relations. They begin to pursue you, you cannot hide from them, and it is also impossible to solve the problem peacefully. There is only one way out - a fight, but you are not mentally prepared for it...

How to stop being afraid of a fight, and why does this fear even arise? As a rule, its cause is easy to find in your childhood and in your first fights, which could happen both in kindergarten, and in the yard of your house. Usually, regardless of whether you came out of this fight victorious or not, a beating from your parents awaited you at home. It could leave a mark on your memory negative memories, and your fear of a fight is explained by a subconscious fear of punishment.

Another barrier that makes people afraid of fighting is parenting. In every children's team You can almost always meet at least one child who is constantly forced to endure humiliation. Beatings and bullying from stronger classmates. Moreover, this happens even when the victim has a strong physique and could fight back against his offenders, but such a child endures all the blows with humility and does not respond to them in any way. How can this be explained?

As a rule, such victims are children with good upbringing who, from childhood, have been forced to believe that fighting is bad, that they should be avoided, that only hooligans and bandits fight, and that you cannot become like that.

Also, factors that prevent a person from doing so may include the fear of ruining their appearance, as well as the fear of pain. The first fear is more typical of the fairer sex, as they are afraid of disfiguring their face and body with bruises and wounds, getting abrasions or fractures, which will negatively affect their beauty. IN the latter case we can talk not only about the fear of experiencing painful sensations on yourself, in your own skin, but also to hurt another person.

The main reason that people are afraid of fights and try their best to avoid them is that they simply do not know how to fight.

How to stop being afraid of a fight? To do this, you must determine the reason that causes this fear in your mind, and try to completely eradicate and eliminate it. Always remember that despite all the technology, culture and “advancement” modern society, they are still governed by primitive laws, according to which the strongest survive, those who can stand up for themselves. Having identified the cause that causes fear of, you need to eradicate it. First, understand the truth - in modern world The primitive rules still apply: the strong survive and the weak perish. Another piece of advice is that you must understand that the ability to stand up for yourself and fight back against someone who threatens your life, health, well-being and reputation does not make you a less intelligent and cultured person.

If you find yourself in difficult situation, but you don't know how to stop being afraid of fights, use a small psychological trickery. Imagine in your mind the fight itself in every detail, step by step. Think about where you will hit your offender, where your second blow will be directed, what actions will you need to take immediately after that?

Start attending self-defense classes or start studying one of the martial arts. This will help you put an end to your fear forever, and in any situation, even the most dangerous one for you, you will be able to fight back the villains attacking you.

And finally, a video for you!