Where is the celebration of life? Where did these sages, philosophers and thinkers find it? Where did they see the joy of every day and serene and unconditional happiness?!
To understand this, you need to slow down. Or is it better to stop altogether. Listen. To yourself. To silence. To inner silence. Which there is simply no fuss. There is no peace, no harmony. And if these qualities are not inside the person himself, in his soul, then in real life there won't be any.
Peace
In order to put your thoughts in order, the first thing you need to do is calm down. In the confusion, in the chaotic chaos of thoughts, it is impossible to find the truth, understand something and relax. Serene peace and relaxation are not a luxury, but a vital necessity.
Think about how many reckless things a person can do in the heat of the moment, out of emotion, in a state of anger or despair. How many wrong decisions can you make under " hot hand", and the chain begins to twist negative consequences, leaving its dark mark on the entire trajectory of life. Sometimes all it takes is 15 minutes of absolute silence. Relaxation. Breathe deeply, calm down, throwing everything away from yourself negative thoughts. “Meditation” is how scientists define this state. Yes, so be it. Meditation. Even just slowly pronouncing and repeating this word, you become somehow calmer. A dream in reality. At the same time, one can imagine high mountains Tibet or the endless ocean... The sound of its waves... And its endless distance...
Inner smile
Whatever you dream about and whatever pictures you draw in your head, here you need to follow one thing: important condition: your dreams and ideas should evoke only positive emotions in you and your body, warming you from the inside, as if the sun warm light illuminating and caressing every cell of your body and your soul. “And even if your liver smiles,” if you remember, he said so spiritual teacher the heroine of the film “Eat. Pray. Love”, played by Julia Roberts. Yes, let even your liver smile. Wait for this state of warmth, serenity and inner harmony. Keep that inner smile inside you. And only then return to people.
Release your control
There is no need to rush somewhere with all your might, constantly control something and take responsibility. Man is not a workhorse. Don't push yourself as hard as you can and don't let others push you to death. Don't take on too much. Try to take responsibility for your life, your thoughts, your mood. No one will solve your internal problems for you.
And all problems are internal, they begin from the head, from thinking. Reason is not always a person’s friend; on the contrary, it often leads him into a dead end, complicates everything, controls it, exaggerating, rushing, reminding, complicating. Sometimes the answer is simple and lies on the surface, but the stubbornness of the mind does not allow us to see the obvious. And sometimes you just need to look at the situation from the outside.
Watch yourself
Try to look at yourself and everything that happens in your life as if from the outside, as if you were watching strangers, little people who do a lot of unnecessary and wrong things. And you look at everything that happens without bias and understand how best to do it, that the way out is simple. Without emotions, you are just an outside observer. It’s easier and easier to solve everything this way.
What advice would you give to that little man over there who looks so much like you?! Where would they move it, rearrange it? What would you change about him and those around him? Look at yourself from the outside. Are you happy in these circumstances, in this life, at this moment? If not, what needs to be done to make you feel good? How to please yourself, console, pamper yourself?
Happiness is possible, start with little things, with basic things, take care of yourself and your health. Take a walk, dance, laugh, breathe... Remember your inner smile. You are alone at home, take care of yourself and love, continuing to appreciate the joy of every day and not turning your life into an endless routine.
Legendary announcer central television USSR Igor Kirillov has always been handsome, elegant and collected in the frame. Thousands of fans fell in love with him, but he could have been given an order for loyalty. For more than half a century he lived in perfect harmony with his wife Irina. And then trouble came to his house. He experienced the loss of his wife and son. It was difficult for Igor Leonidovich, but he never complained. And fate gave me a chance to become happy again.
Loyalty
Igor Kirillov in his youth. / Photo: www.justmedia.ru
Igor and Irina met as children. They lived in neighboring houses, and little Igor made friends with three sisters: Tatyana, Irina and Natalya. Igor and Irina were 10 years old at the time.
Mutual feelings between Igor and Irina arose a little later, in the seventh grade. They spent more and more time together. And even during summer holidays, when everyone left for the dacha in the Moscow region, they did not part. They had dachas in one place, only different sides railway. This did not stop Igor from visiting his girlfriend, first on a bicycle, then on a motorcycle.
Igor and Irina Kirillov on their wedding day. / Photo: www.dayonline.ru
Igor and Irina got married in 1953, when both were still students. In 1961, a daughter, Anna, was born into the Kirillov family, and 10 years later, a son, Vsevolod.
Igor Leonidovich always listened to his wife’s opinion. Irina Vsevolodovna was not only his beloved woman, but also a friend, adviser, and first critic. It was she who prevented him from contracting the star fever virus. She was always strict and picky about herself and about what her husband did.
Igor Kirillov with his daughter and son. / Photo: www.smotret-onlain.net
When viewers attributed novels to him with all his partners on television, Igor Leonidovich only smiled. On television, everyone knew about his reverent attitude towards his wife. Everyone knew and loved Irina Vsevolodovna on television. She herself worked at Ostankino as a sound engineer for 33 years. Igor Kirillov’s wife surprised everyone with her gentleness and at the same time her ability to support Hard time, come to the aid of everyone who needed it.
Igor and Irina Kirillov. / Photo: www.mtdata.ru
And the announcer did not forget to emphasize that his wife had a very a strong character. When someone expressed doubt, he just shrugged: how could he? weak woman withstand all its shortcomings? When Irina Vsevolodovna passed away in 2004, Igor Kirillovich for a long time could not recover from the loss. Despite the fact that his wife had been ill for quite a long time, he was not at all ready for her to leave. And then he looked after Irina’s younger sister, Natalya, who at one time helped the announcer’s wife during her illness. After Natalya's death, Igor Leonidovich was left completely alone.
Loneliness
Kirillov’s daughter Anna lived in Germany for a long time; after a family conflict, Vsevolod’s son stopped communicating with his parents and sister, even replacing phone numbers. In 2011, my son died suddenly from pancreatitis. Only after his death did Igor Kirillov meet his son’s widow and his children.
Igor Leonidovich endured loneliness very hard, but he was not used to complaining. The world seems to be colored grey colour. He continued to go to work when he was invited to participate in filming, and went to the store to do some shopping. And then fate gave him a chance to become happy again.
Happiness is like a reward
Igor Kirillov with his wife Tatyana. / Photo: www.kpcdn.net
They met in 2008 in a store next to Igor Kirillov’s house. He often went there to buy groceries. At first Tatyana didn’t even believe herself when, standing behind the counter, she heard the voice of a famous announcer familiar from childhood.
He looked confused and sad. Friendly Tatyana tried with all her heart to cheer up Igor Leonidovich. She always had a kind word for him. And one day he asked her a question that made her simply confused. He asked if she knew how to cook pasta. And there was so much longing in the look of this handsome middle-aged man that her heart sank.
Igor Kirillov with his wife Tatyana. / Photo: www.tricolortvmag.ru
In the evening she hurried to his house. I fed him dinner and tried to clean up the apartment. And then I began to often drop by to see him after work. She prepared meals and helped as best she could with the housework. On one of these evenings, she received a call from work and was told about her dismissal. Tatyana Alexandrovna could not hide her disappointment. The loss of her job entailed for her, a native of Moldova, the automatic loss of housing, since she had to pay for rented apartment there will simply be nothing.
That day, he invited her to spend the night in his daughter’s empty room. And in the morning he simply offered to stay and live with him in a huge apartment. Tatyana Alexandrovna became his friend and his guardian angel. She helped him cope with another blow of fate when the news of his son's death came.
Igor Leonidovich and Tatyana Aleksandrovna. / Photo: www.starhit.ru
When Igor Kirillov proposed to her, she agreed without hesitation. But at first it was not easy for them. There were acquaintances who considered it their duty to sympathize with Kirillov, to open their eyes to the commercialism of his second wife. And she went with him to look after Irina Vsevolodovna’s grave and daily wiped the dust from her portraits, which still hang in their house.
She considers this her duty and a tribute to her husband’s past. Tatyana Aleksandrovna has become a real friend for Anna, her husband’s daughter, with whom they communicate daily via the Internet.
Igor Kirillov. / Photo: www.vokrug.tv
Very little time passed, and the announcer’s friends saw how much not only Kirillov himself had changed, but also his house. It felt cozy and warm again, and happy lights shone in Igor Leonidovich’s eyes.
There are many aphorisms about the fact that there is only one life, and you should live it in such a way that in old age you will not regret anything. Do you know how to get joy from life? In fact, everything is simple: live according to your conscience, think positively and learn to enjoy simple things.
Happiness is simple
To the question of what joy is, each person will answer in his own way. For some it is the smile of a loved one, and for others it is the taste of vanilla ice cream. There is no such thing as universal. The formula for searching for it is to find things, events and people that bring pleasure to you. Try writing a list of personal reasons to be happy right now. Add any points that come to your mind. These can be specific people, and special places or If you want to learn how to get joy from life, don’t be shy about cravings for some special foods or flavors.
Avoid Negativity
Having found all the good things in your life, don’t be lazy to figure out the bad ones too. What makes you upset and worried most often? If it's all about the little things, finding a solution is not so difficult. Get rid of faulty appliances or things that simply irritate you for one reason or another. The same should be done if a specific person acts as an irritant. Minimize communication with a colleague or acquaintance who does not respect you, insults you without reason, or belittles your dignity. There are other situations - communication does not carry direct negativity, but it is after meetings with specific person you feel depressed and disappointed. You should also meet with such friends as rarely as possible. Do you want to know how to get joy from life every day? So here’s the first tip: minimize all kinds of negative stimuli and try to intelligently try to avoid situations that can ruin your mood.
Happiness is within each of us
A famous saying goes: “The pessimist’s glass is half empty, the optimist’s glass is half full.” Indeed, a lot depends on perception. Did you have to get up early? Hurry up, lift your head from the pillow, a cup of delicious coffee and a new day full of various events awaits you. Simple joys available to us in any situation and at any moment in life. When on the street it's raining, you can sit gloomily at home and curse the weather, which ruined all your plans, or admire the pattern of drops on the windows. Learn to see beauty in simple things and enjoy the little things. It is also useful to reward yourself with something pleasant for personal victories or to console yourself after not the most successful events. Rewards don’t have to be financial - it’s nice, of course, to buy some new things if you’ve completed your weekly work quota in one day. But believe me, an unplanned walk, favorite dish for lunch or the decision to go to bed early - no worse.
Making a wish map
Take whatman paper or a note board and attach images of something that will bring you joy to the chosen base. It is advisable to maintain approximately the same ratio of material and intangible. It’s very simple: knowing specifically what you want, and seeing it before your eyes every day, makes it easier to get what you want. Be sure to gradually add new joys, and make it a rule to fulfill at least one of your existing desires once a week. To comply with this condition, you need to add to your happiness map, in addition to global goals, also minor ones - those that you can fulfill in the near future. Meeting with a friend, going to a new cafe or relaxing on the weekend outside the city. Such simple joys are the foundation of a happy life.
We invite happiness into your life
There are times when you feel tired and unhappy more and more often, and everything becomes more difficult. To improve your morale in such situations, delicious ice cream or buying a new one is not enough; the way to get rid of the first signs of depression is to go on a trip. If this is not possible, try rearranging your home and changing something about yourself. You've been dreaming of a new hairstyle for a long time - now is the time to make this dream come true. Try a less drastic change, for example, buy clothes of an unusual style and style, or do new makeup. Psychologists often advise people who are dissatisfied own life, to have a pet. If you want to live your life with dignity and have joy, you definitely need to take care of someone. However, not all people can afford to keep a pet. An alternative option is to try growing an indoor flower. Get a small shoot and watch it day after day.
Family or loneliness?
According to many philosophers and sages, the main thing is happiness, the joy of life - If you are already married, try to build a respectful and trusting relationship with your partner. Singles should devote enough time to communicating with parents, brothers, sisters and other relatives. However, do not forget that everything should be done only according to at will. You shouldn’t get married just because “it’s supposed to be that way.” Many people say that children are the joy of life. Believe them, but do not decide to take such a step as having a child if you feel that you are not ready or do not want a baby right now. There are also directly opposite situations - all that is needed for happiness is a child, but material wealth or housing problems prevent you from thinking about having a baby. And this is a serious reason to think about everything again and, perhaps, decide to make your dream come true. Requires a thoughtful decision love problems. Remember, it is easy to destroy a relationship or submit to circumstances that interfere with your union, but finding your love and spiritually close person again is not at all easy.
Find your place in life
It’s good when the main joy in a person’s life and source financial well-being- this is one type of activity. Work takes a significant place in the life of any person, and if it does not bring positive emotions, it is not so easy. Best advice for people who are unsettled in their professional life - try to figure out what the reason is. You may not like the type of activity itself, the manager or team, or the principles of work organization in a particular company. Once the main problems have been identified, solutions should be considered. You can always change jobs or even get new profession. Do you want to become happier? Find something you like. Hobbies can be anything - sports, handicrafts, Board games. Make acquaintances with like-minded people or join a thematic club. You will definitely enjoy such productive and useful leisure time.
Every day is special and the happiest
We have collected all the most popular and effective advice from psychologists on the topic: “How to get joy from life?” If you want to become happy and find harmony, do not be afraid to try new things and gradually eliminate from your life what upsets and irritates you. Get all the available joys of life and don’t think about what others will think of you. If right now you feel like dancing and laughing or running barefoot through puddles, do just that. Remember: we live only once and it would be a sin not to use all the ways to get joy today.
How to find joy in life
I have noticed that many people find it very difficult to learn to truly enjoy life. In fact, people sometimes do very strange things to have fun. Some jump from completely intact planes, although these planes are not going to fall at all. Others sit for hours on the banks of the river with a fishing rod for fun.
People have come up with a lot of ball games. They run around the field and kick the ball with their feet. They try to roll a small ball into small holes with their clubs. They throw big balls into baskets. They chase the ball all over the field oval shape. People play cards and find a lot of activities for themselves that are not interesting in themselves, but a person is able to find in them not only something interesting, but also funny.
Wouldn't it be nice if you could make something that doesn't seem fun more enjoyable and interesting? This is quite possible to learn. Focus on what you do best. If you take an activity that you really enjoy and another that does not give you any pleasure, it becomes clear that the submodalities of these processes are different. This is true by definition. Therefore, these activities make you feel different.
Remember a pleasant activity. Focus on your feelings and strengthen them. You can make sure that you receive not just pleasure, but great pleasure from the process. This is very easy to do - just use the amplification technique. Imagine an image of something that gives you pleasure. Looking at mental image, zoom it in, double its size. Enhance your look. Speed it up. You must also hear the corresponding sounds so that the feelings become stronger.
Once the feelings become strong enough, literally spin them inside yourself, faster and faster. Feelings should cover the center of your body. Unwind this sensation even more so that it affects you completely - from the top of your head to your heels. Imagine this picture vividly and in detail.
The faster your sensations unwind, the stronger the feeling will become. Now think about what you need to do, what you would like to make fun, what you would like to achieve - and achieve quickly.
HOW TO FIND JOY OF LIFE
1. Think of an activity that gives you a lot of pleasure. Note all submodalities of this condition.
2. Experience this sensation and increase the feeling of pleasure. To do this, play with the submodalities and adjust them so that the sensations become stronger and more intense.
3. Unwind the sensations inside your body. Keep strengthening them. Now imagine an activity from which you would like to receive More fun. As you continue to unwind the feeling of pleasure in your body faster and faster, imagine this activity.
There are a lot of truly funny and interesting activities, but for some reason people have difficulty with them. One of these activities, of course, is sex. I always wonder why partners can't just look at each other and say, " Let's go to another room and have sex" They lie in bed and think about it, and neither of them says a word. Psychologists find many explanations for this condition. They explain that people are afraid of failure, afraid of being rejected. They find a lot of different explanations. But in reality, partners simply do not experience strong enough motivation.
People spend too much time on long, serious quarrels in bed, but they waste time on pleasing and enjoying each other. If they looked deep into themselves and unwound desired state quickly enough, and then they would simply smile at their partner and ask if he would like to have sex, their lives would be much happier. Sometimes they would hear in response "Yes", Sometimes - "No". The more often you ask, the more opportunities you will have to hear the answer. And the more firmly you remember this, the more pleasure you will get.
THE WAY TO GREAT SEX
1. Think about your loved one.
2. Remember when he looked the sexiest, when you were irresistibly drawn to him.
3. You must see what you saw then, hear what you heard then, feel what you felt then. Feel the desire. Unwind this feeling in yourself faster and faster.
4. Smile at your partner and seduce him. Try to make him feel as good as possible. Remember all the amazing moments you experienced together. When you are close to your partner, develop the feeling of pleasure in yourself faster and faster.
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From the book 12 Christian beliefs that can drive you crazy by Townsend JohnFinding Deepness in Life This is where a deeper life begins for Christians. Such people had long considered themselves Christians, but their lives seemed to stand still. For years they reproduced those personal and behavioral patterns that they tried in vain to discard, in which
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From the book Forgiving Myself. In 2 vols. Volume 2 by Viilma LuuleFind yourself Yes brave man, and there is a scared one. Why don't I use the word "cowardly"? Because a frightened person who admits his fears and is aware of them becomes bolder thanks to this, and a frightened person who never admits his
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From the book How to Always Be Happy. 128 tips to relieve stress and anxiety author Gupta Mrinal Kumar From the book Little Buddhas...as well as their parents! Buddhist Secrets of Raising Children by Claridge SealeGetting out of the funk, finding joy in life, learning to accept yourself is the minimum task. Frosya Yatsres about how she learned to live with depression. And coach, neuropsychologist, psychotherapist Svetlana Mitrofanova tells how to become happier
Multitasking, information noise, the frantic pace of life and work, the desire to get everything at once in every area of life lead to fatigue, lethargy, apathy, or, on the contrary, hypersensitivity and irritability. According to research, more than half of the residents of large cities are susceptible to depression of varying severity.
WHO defines depression as a state of sadness and loss of interest in activities that are usually rewarding, and an inability to do everyday activities for at least two weeks. In addition, people with depression typically have several of the following symptoms: lack of energy, decreased appetite, drowsiness or insomnia, anxiety, decreased concentration, indecisiveness, restlessness, feelings of worthlessness, guilt or despair, and thoughts of self-harm harm or suicide. As a rule, people are afraid to turn to specialists because of a feeling of shame and fear of being disgraced. What prevents them from openly asking for help is society's perception that depression is a common human weakness or character flaw.
Important! Treatment of depression requires serious therapy from a qualified specialist. In this material we'll talk on the prevention of depressive conditions.
Let's look at a common cause of depression: disappointment.
Everyone has an idea of how things should be. And it is the comparison of the personal picture of what is desired with how things really are that gives rise to emotions. Rarely are they positive. Accordingly, than larger scale the difference between the desired and the actual, the more intense negative emotions. It is generally accepted that time heals. In the case of depression, the situation is exactly the opposite. Depressive states- this is stress that overloads the emotional background. And endless introspection is exhausting. And if this condition persists for more than two weeks, there is real danger"to fall into depression".
As a practitioner, I often hear exclamations of frenzy: “Well, of course! It's not fair! Here I have to tell you one of the laws of psychology: “Expectations give rise to disappointments.” This is due to the fact that when a person expects something, he paints a picture in his mind of how things should be. And when an event occurs, it is never realized exactly as it was imagined by the imagination. The pictures don't match. Consciously, and more often unconsciously, you can be disappointed. This will entail deeper, basic emotion- sadness. And again, “everything is not as I imagined,” “life is hopeless.” We become disappointed in others, in ourselves, and, most dangerously, in life. And the loss of the meaning of life is the path to suicide.
My specialty is “emotion management.” Therefore, I willingly share techniques that will help you quickly take own emotions under control. First a parable.
One day an old man was sitting near an oasis at the entrance to a Middle Eastern city. A young man approached him and asked:
- I've never been here. What kind of people live in this city?
The elder answered him with a question:
- What kind of people were in the city from which you are coming?
- They were selfish and evil people. However, that is why I happily left there...
“Here you will meet exactly the same people,” the elder answered him...
A little later, another person approached this place and asked the same question:
- I just arrived. Tell me, a kind person, what kind of people live in this city?
The elder responded in kind:
- Tell me, son, how did people behave in the city where you came from?
- Oh, they were kind, hospitable and noble souls. I have a lot of friends left there, and it’s not easy for me
was to part with them.
“You will find the same ones here,” answered the old man.
Why do I insist that you need to start with yourself? All life is a big mirror, and it reflects people’s attitude towards themselves, and their attitude towards others and the world as a whole. People get in this life only what they believe in. Something of which we are deeply convinced. And if a person does not accept and love himself, then the world answers him in this way. Non-acceptance of oneself prevents people from building effective communication with others and be happy. Troubles come in company. In a bad mood, people seem to attract conflicts, problems and troubles.
It is useful for those who have been unfairly offended to know: offense is suppressed anger. Psychologists teach to understand, accept and forgive. Of course, this does not mean forgetting or admitting that someone is right and someone is wrong. Forgiveness is the conscious liberation of oneself from a destructive, destructive emotion. " Being angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Buddha.
It is important to learn to transform weaknesses into strength, to get rid of disappointments by accepting responsibility for everything that happens. Change must start from within, with the way you think, constructive self-perception, the way you respond to circumstances and the actions of others, and how you allow events to affect you. Finally, think about yourself and your abilities.
When I encounter past failures, I ask clients about future potential. “Describe your capabilities and potential,” I usually ask. There is a psychological life hack here: switching from the past to the future. All the causes of troubles usually lie in the past. But instead of endlessly analyzing it, experiencing the bitter taste of disappointment, it is worth directing your gaze to your possibilities, which are limitless. Everyone has enormous potential; it’s just a matter of developing the skills to use it. This approach creates a thirst for life.
The advice to reorganize your lifestyle helps a lot. Plan no more than three important things per day. Divide large projects into small steps. Once you achieve some goal, no matter how small, your mood improves and your self-confidence grows. So imperceptibly, small steps lead to big results.
Having your own support group is also very important. After all, not a single one big goal impossible to achieve alone. Everyone needs loving people. Development of communication skills, ability to build long-term, warm relations with other people can easily be included in your list of goals. The discovery of “mirror neurons” by neuropsychologists once again convinced scientists of the need for warm social relations for survival. Man is a social being, and there are no exceptions here.
A simple step to help change your life for the better is to write down at least 5 things you are grateful for every night. today. This will focus on positive aspects life, good intentions of people. It is important to thank yourself for completing things from your plan, for good words and actions. It sounds like esoteric nonsense, but we multiply what we give thanks for.
One of the components that determines mood is the sun. Under influence sun rays the body synthesizes vitamin D, which is involved in all vital important processes. It also lifts your spirits. Therefore, in winter, when there is little sun, it is so important to capture sunny moments: to drop everything and expose your face to the rays.
And finally, banal, but no less effective advice- smile more. Start the morning with a smile, end the day with a smile. The brain will begin to produce dopamine - the hormone of joy and pleasure. Fake it till you make it: any mask sooner or later grows to the face. And, of course, you need to laugh as often as possible: laughter prolongs life.