Have you ever asked yourself the question: “Who am I?” The exact answer to it should lead you to agree with yourself. After all, without knowing yourself, it’s hard to find a worthy place in this world, to become an active participant in this life, and not a weak-willed spectator...
Although all this is not true for everyone. Just like the question itself. They are asked only by those who are generally interested in all sorts of meanings: the meaning of life, the place of their “I” in the world and society (yes, yes, first in the world), the meaning of the daily bustle - and other meanings. These are people with a sound vector (for simplicity I will call them sound people) - people are often difficult to communicate with, for many they are strange and “complicate” their lives.
So, if you understand who I’m talking about, you’re also familiar with this characteristic Many sound artists are egocentric. It is only “I” - without others, it is only “I” - smarter than others, it is only “I” and my suffering.
Egocentrism and selfishness - what is the difference?
What is egocentrism anyway? Wikipedia gives a very narrow interpretation, highlighting as the main sign of egocentrism a person’s inability to perceive someone else’s point of view. "Big Soviet encyclopedia” interprets more broadly and speaks of an attitude towards the world that can be characterized as focusing on one’s “I”.
And yet, from these definitions it is difficult to understand what is egocentrism and what is egoism, what are their similarities and differences. Yuriy Burlana helped me understand the nuances of meaning, Once again putting everything in its place.
For many, selfishness and egocentrism are synonymous words that are usually addressed to people who are deeply in love with themselves. But is it? Psychologist Ksenia Alyaeva wrote about the difference in concepts, as well as why it is important to distinguish between them.
Ksenia Alyaeva, psychologist
Let's break it down
PARAGRAPH 1. What is the difference between an egoist and an egocentrist? I have identified several signs for myself:
Egoist independently takes care of satisfying his needs, but at the same time does not lose the ability to relate to others.
For example, I’m hungry, I come to people and say directly: please give me something to eat. And then they either refuse me and I respectfully accept this refusal and go on looking for ways to satisfy my hunger, or they give me food and the need is satisfied.
Egocentric believes that the whole world revolves around him, which means he does not have the ability to relate himself to others.
For example: Children are naturally self-centered and lack the personal maturity to relate to others. The child comes in children's world to his mother and directly asks to buy him a toy. If he receives a refusal, he is unable to take care of himself, and then the matter moves on to the next point.
POINT 2. An egoist is focused on solving a problem. Egocentric - on relationships.
Where the egoist takes responsibility for solving his problems, the egocentric demands this from others.
In other words, where the egoist is denied food, he finds the resources to cope with his frustration*
and looks for other ways to satisfy his needs. An egocentric person is not able to tolerate frustration, believes that it should not exist, and if his request is not satisfied, then an active invitation to a relationship begins in destructive ways- manipulation, accusations, revenge, demands.
What does a small child usually say to his mother when she refuses to buy a toy? You are bad! To cope with despair and frustration, he can climb with his fists, fall on the floor, and throw a tantrum. An older child may begin to manipulate in all sorts of ways - to cheat, adjust, deceive, offer a deal (for example, “I promise to wash dishes all my life/study with straight A’s,” etc.).
Adults do the same thing, only under more plausible, seemingly “adult” pretexts. But in any case, egocentrics have an idea that they know what is right, and if someone has different rules, then this can be experienced as a “cheater,” deliberate deception, meanness, which means one can take revenge, manipulate, deceive, accuse and otherwise drag you into relationships. I once heard an accusation directed at me when I refused to use my resources: “You see, because of the situation you created for me, I started smoking.”
POINT 3. Well, and perhaps the last point. The ability to empathize.
The egoist correlates himself and his resources with the situation/environment. The egocentric relates the situation to himself.
Simply put, an egocentric person, in order to assess the situation, asks himself “what would I do in this person’s place?” That is, he puts himself in the place of another, measuring everything BY HIMSELF.
The egoist tries to find a new perspective, trying to look at the world through the eyes of another, in order to expand the field of perception. That is, it becomes all the same “as I would”, it’s interesting “what about the other one?” And he easily returns to himself with new experience (this is important! Because experience can not be appropriated, avoiding living feelings, going into rationality and doing something).
* * * *
If we simplify all these three points and derive a general summary, then, in my opinion, in experiencing one’s own boundaries:
- An egocentric person can experience the whole world and other people as an extension of himself. Accordingly, demand from the world/others to bend for themselves.
- The egoist experiences himself as separate from others, which makes it possible not to waste resources on bending the world to suit himself, but to look for environmentally friendly ways to relate to himself and others.
Unfortunately, selfishness is often confused with egocentrism. I really wanted to separate them and indicate my sympathy for selfishness.
*
Frustration(frustratio - “deception”, “failure”, “vain expectation”, “frustration of plans”) -
negative psychological condition
, arising in a real situation
or the perceived impossibility of satisfying certain needs,
or, more simply, in a situation where desires do not correspond to available opportunities.
This situation may be considered to be somewhat traumatic.
Hello, dear readers! Have you ever met a person who does not think about anyone but himself? What can you call it? Selfish? Who is a self-centered person? Today I propose to understand these two concepts, consider the signs of a self-obsessed person, understand why children's egocentrism turns into adult life and what to do with it.
Since people often confuse egoism and egocentrism, I would like to offer you Rudolf Steiner's book " Egoism in philosophy" Thanks to the work of the Austrian philosopher, you can trace the formation of individualism from ancient Greece itself.
Definition
The word “egocentrism” translated from Latin means nothing more than “I” in the center of a circle. What does it mean? A person cannot put himself in the place of another; he considers himself the center of the universe or an extreme form of egoism.
Let's see what are the signs of self-centered people. The first sign is . Such a person does not know how to read other people's emotions, he does not put himself in the place of another at all, he interprets everything in relation to himself. As a result, he has difficulties in... It is extremely difficult to communicate with such a person.
If everything goes well with upbringing, then the person acquires healthy self-esteem, he knows how to put himself in the place of another person, he understands that he is not the center of the universe.
If an adult could not become a healthy egoist, it means that some problems have arisen. This happens due to parental connivance, due to a lack of love or its excess.
We discussed the signs of an egocentric person above. What does it mean healthy selfishness? Man has a very strong instinct for self-preservation and satisfaction of his needs. An adequate adult will strive to resolve the situation in such a way that both he and the other participants benefit.
But as in any situation, there is another side when a person puts himself on the altar of sacrifice. I talk about this in the article “”.
What to do
If you have to communicate with an egocentric person, then the most the right decision- do not indulge his desires and passions, for example, when parents constantly spoil their little blood. A person must understand that things do not always happen the way he wants. Your task is to be calm, reasonable and cool-headed.
Try doing charity work. Just approach this issue wisely. Don’t just transfer one hundred rubles to the fund’s account, but go and work with orphans, or go to a nursing home. Find out what help you need in your nearest children's center. Learn to see other people's problems.
How can you describe self-centered person? How does he differ from a healthy egoist?
Loving yourself does not mean not loving others.
Best wishes to you!
Is a person born selfish or does life make him so? How is egoism formed in a child? Main condition normal development person, home life force- Love. She is like the sun, giving life. Many of you have probably heard about the “hospitalism” effect. This phenomenon was observed in German children's homes. Despite the fact that the children had everything: food, care, warmth, for some reason they not only developed poorly, but there was also an increased mortality rate. As it turned out, this is the result of the fact that the child is deprived mother's love. Where the nanny showed love, attention and care to the child, he survived. If this was not the case, the child withered away, fell ill, and in some cases died. To survive, a child needs love above all else.
Similar situations in the family, where the mother is in a state of fatigue, irritation, exhaustion: she has no mental strength show love to the child. When she feeds him, the child may refuse to feed and scream. He develops digestive diseases and other ailments. G.S. Sullivan, an American psychoanalyst who devoted his research to this, found that if a mother feeds a baby in a state of anxiety, then for him the whole world turns dark, becomes scary, threatening, terrible. Children react according to the “all or nothing” principle. Maternal anxiety, even in small doses, causes them to experience horror, so the feeding situation becomes scary for the child, and he leaves her and refuses the breast. Many mothers cannot understand why their children eat poorly and why they are capricious. And this happens because the feeding situation becomes traumatic already from infancy due to the condition of the mother herself. It turns out that children are very sensitive to the emotional atmosphere of the family: if it is tense, anxious, dysfunctional, then mental development The baby is going through the “hospitalism” type.
Various diseases also arise: physical, and most importantly, mental. The child develops character difficulties. The world becomes dangerous and threatening for him - and this is how egocentrism is formed. The adult becomes dangerous, the world becomes scary, and the child withdraws into himself. We see stubborn children who are afraid and shy away from adults, children who are negative and aggressive. Mental traumas of infancy absorb all their attention, concentrate them on themselves spiritual life, and so they form an egocentric dominant, which distorts the perception of the world around them.
Egocentrism is not the same as selfishness. Egoism is associated with a life position of using others for one’s own purposes, when one’s own interests are put first to the detriment of the interests of others. It can be assumed that egoism is associated with egocentrism, but still these are different phenomena.
In his diploma work Marina Yurievna Kolpakova conducted a study with children from orphanage, whose parents are deprived of parental rights, and with children1 from the usual kindergarten. We watched how children developed relationships with people, with the world around them, and tried to understand the psychology of selfishness and egocentrism. It turned out that here different roots. Selfish children usually grow up in families where they are pampered, where only child becomes the center of the family. Self-centered children are children who are often deprived of a family or normal maternal care; these are often children from orphanages.
All study participants were presented with pictures of the TAT (Thematic Apperception Test). In one of the pictures, a boy with an uncertain expression on his face is holding a violin. You can give different answers: the boy is either thinking, or he is studying the violin, or the boy is sitting sad. The answers depend on the state of the perceiver. Children from the orphanage, as a rule, answered that the boy was abandoned, abandoned, he was alone. The same idea was also expressed about other similar pictures: let’s say, a boy is sitting at the doorstep, and the children say that he was left alone. The children from the kindergarten answered that the boy was waiting for someone at the door, he was not alone, and he would learn to play the violin and go to school. Particularly revealing was the picture in which a boy was running, and a steam locomotive was visible behind him. Several children from the orphanage responded that the locomotive wanted to run over the boy, and the locomotive was running after him.
Egocentrism is distorted perception. Such a child cannot adequately see the world. He sees a threat where there is none. Internal anxiety and disadvantage form a distorted perception of reality, inadequacy of worldview, Children from prosperous families saw the situation as favorable and perceived the world in optimistic terms. Children from difficult families They answered like children from an orphanage.
So, the atmosphere in the family, love or its absence turn out to be decisive in the formation of a personality type. And in self-direction, as its two varieties, we distinguish between egocentrism and selfishness. Egoism often develops where, despite the fact that the child is pampered, he finds himself deprived of spiritual, inner love, that love that gives a sense of belonging to others. Selfishness is also a consequence of the lack of love, but of a different type. You should behave differently with a selfish child than with a self-centered one. If a selfish person must be placed in conditions where it is necessary to take into account the interests of others, trying to change habits and life attitude child, then one must act very carefully with a self-centered one. It must be treated with love.
Let us summarize what has been said about the difference between egoism and egocentrism. An egoist uses other people as a means to achieve his own goals and puts his own interests first to the detriment of others. Egocentrism is a consequence mental trauma in the early childhood. In such children increased level anxiety, they tend to expect bad things and project their inner spiritual experience on others.
These are two very different terms. It's better not to confuse them.
Selfishness - always, in all situations, with any people - is based purely on personal interests associated with one benefit or another. Material or not, it doesn’t matter.
Egocentrism (Enlightened Superegocentrism) - credo, life position, When own opinion, their decisions and actions, their views on any issue, event or action are always placed above all others in their value system. What is possible and what is not, what is good for him and what is bad, right and wrong - everything value judgments the egocentric reconsiders through the prism of his position.
Strong, successful and strong-willed people Those who know how to overcome themselves, take responsibility for others and are not afraid to make decisions are most often egocentric.
The egoist views the environment as a source of achieving his goals and benefits, and only his own.
An egocentric person views the environment as part of his world and himself. An egocentric person, as a rule, is capable of “superpersonal” (not related to his immediate interests) actions, simply because this is how it should be in “his” world.
An egocentrist in his value system is the subjective center of the universe.
Unlike an egoist, an egocentric person can act and make decisions in favor of other people's interests, which may not bring him any benefit personally.
In various dictionaries, which people often like to resort to in order to strengthen their argument, you can see that these two concepts are often not separated from each other. So, in some definitions it is written: “Egocentrism is the extreme degree of manifestation of egoism,” which, of course, is wrong.
In everyday usage, “egoist” is more common than “egocentrist,” so most people tend not to distinguish between these concepts, lumping everything together. But there is a difference.
I really like the understanding of egoism and egocentrism, which I read a long time ago in some book (now I don’t remember which one) and made it my working definition.
The egoist says: “I am the center of the Universe. Therefore, all of you, the people around me, should perceive me this way: you should jump around me, please me, do everything for me, sacrificing your interests for the sake of my interests.”
The egocentric says: “I am the center of the Universe. My personal Universe. It is so great, so interesting and so beautiful that I don’t need anyone else. Therefore, all of you, the people around me, with your problems and concerns, with your interests and desires , with your opinions about the world and about me, mean absolutely nothing to me."
Based on the above, selfishness and egocentrism are not just different concepts, this is in many ways diametrically opposed concepts.
The egoist needs the whole world - so that everyone revolves around him. An egocentric person does not need anyone, because he has his own own world, which revolves around him.
If a man doesn’t work, he sits on the neck of his wife, who plows three jobs, supporting himself and him, is a typical egoist.
If a man is a bachelor who starts relationships with women only as much as he is interested in, and easily ends them when it no longer suits him, he is a typical egocentrist.
An egoist cannot be alone for a long time: he needs the attention and care of others. An egocentric person does not need anyone; he always feels good with himself.
That's it, in a nutshell.
Egocentrism is actually a term from developmental psychology: up to a certain age Small child able to imagine a situation (spatially, etc.) only from his own point of view.
Egoism is an evaluative (judgmental) name for behavior when a person puts his own interests first. What's for an adult? mature man- in general, the algorithm is quite normal, where are the attempts to somehow deprive the term of negative connotations (associations): “healthy selfishness,” for example.