Or what to do when you don't know what to do?

Dear student!

This section contains typical questions that many people have during their studies. Of course, they do not cover all areas of life, but they clarify situations concerning educational process and communication at the university. What to do if you fail your coursework? What to do if your relationship with the teacher or classmates does not work out? Is it possible to transfer if I understand that the field in which I am studying is not for me?

You will find answers (and in some cases even detailed algorithms!) to these and many other questions here. The section is in constant development, we promise that new questions and answers will appear.

PS: if you have an atypical question regarding educational process, You can contact the Deputy Director/Dean at educational and methodological work. You can find contacts. If the appeal did not lead to a resolution of your problem, you can address your question to the Deputy First Vice-Rector for Educational Management.

If your question is related to psychology - relationships in a group or with teachers, you can contact the leading management psychologist at educational work, student leader psychological service.

Sincerely,
CSU student support service

Questions and answers Questions and answers

1. Failed tests do not affect the student’s participation in the examination session. A student is allowed to take exams in accordance with the rating achieved in each discipline.

2. In any case, you need to take tests. A student is considered to have completed the session only when he has passed all tests and exams, as well as grades for term papers and practice.

3. In order for a student to correct a “failed” or “not certified” grade, departments and directorates have schedules for accepting outstanding assessments and adding points according to the rating. You can take “debts” for tests in parallel with exams.

4. If you were unable to pass the test within the session time, you need to write an application to your directorate (dean’s office) to extend the deadline for liquidation academic debt and agree with the teacher about additional deadlines retakes.

Question to a psychologist: I have no friends, no one needs me, what should I do?
Hello! My name is Marina. I am 12 years old. I do not know what to do. I feel like I don't need anyone.

At home I quarrel with everyone all the time. Especially with mom. Almost immediately it was my fault, she said: “Don’t you want to go get some seeds? If you don’t want to, you don’t have to go.” I replied that I didn’t want to, because they gave me a lot of homework. She was offended!
And so we quarrel almost every day (over all sorts of little things, but we quarrel very strongly).

I have no real friends at school. I had a best friend, but she talked to a girl from a parallel class and moved there. And that's how it always is. We are friends and suddenly a person finds another best friend. And in the end I am left alone.

The boys in the class bully me all the time. They break my things, they laugh at home (I recently fell and sprained my leg, almost the whole class laughed, and when they found out that it was a sprain, they started laughing even more), they make all kinds of jokes...

Help me please, I don’t know what to do, I feel lonely, unwanted, I cry at home all the time.

What should I do if no one needs me and I have no friends?

Hello, Marina!
First, you need to make peace and make friends with your mother. Now your real best friend maybe mom. Of course, she needs you and she loves you, it’s just that you speak different languages ​​to her: you speak a child’s language, and she speaks an adult, so you don’t quite understand each other. That's why you quarrel.
You think you're right, and mom thinks she's right. In fact, both are wrong.

Quarrels and disputes, as well as grievances and accusations, cannot solve problems... neither at home nor at school. You need to learn to communicate without conflicts.
And you need to become your own friend, i.e. don’t cry and don’t feel sorry for yourself, but start loving and respecting yourself (but, of course, don’t be selfish). If you love and respect yourself, then other people will begin to love and respect you, and everyone will need you and you will have many friends.

Children are at school and bully those who do not love themselves, and therefore cannot defend themselves.
If a person is offended, it means that something is wrong with him and others think that he is weak, which means he can be mocked. After all, no one will mock a strong personality.

Why nothing works, what might be interfering and what to pay attention to.

Do you know, friends, why many people fail in life? Someone tries very hard, tries, but somehow cannot achieve success, someone has put in a lot of effort, spent energy, but has not been able to change (adjust) their way of thinking and behavior, someone is unable to cope with some problems. - then painful conditions. Very often it is just for a simple reason.

Now I'll give you the best main advice.. If something doesn’t work out in your life and you are not inactive, because, of course, without action there will be no result, then this can only be because you trying too hard and therefore you burn out emotionally before you achieve any goals.

This effort lies in emotional desire, in the heat of the moment, when you light up inside with something (some idea), a strong motivation and you begin to act on the backdrop of this inspiration. But motivation is not constant, it either increases or subsides and the desire to do anything disappears.

And here the most important thing is to do everything calmly, without unnecessary emotions, you see your goal and calmly (as if reluctantly) move towards it, take some small steps (actions) regularly, but at the same time do not overwhelm yourself emotionally, and as soon as If you notice that you are too excited internally, calm down, relax and calmly move on.

Another main reason is systematic, REGULAR actions.

Can you imagine what it is? systematic action when you need to carry out these certain things every day, regardless and no matter what, necessary actions. And so on for a long time, because often this is the only way to achieve results. The easiest things become difficult if you do them systematically. After all, this is largely about changing your habits, and this is no longer easy.

Doing some desired action 3-5 times is easy, do 10 of them once already noticeably more difficult, but when you need to do it 100 or more times in order for some result to appear, for most, this is an insurmountable task.

After all, having put in a lot of effort and not achieving something desired, you immediately feel the desire to give up everything, plus doubts arise about the correctness of your actions.

But you know, there is a saying that I once heard - “If it seems that you are going the wrong way, this does not mean that the compass is broken.” Sometimes, in addition to systematic actions, time and patience are simply needed. Patience is the last key that opens the door, and time is simply a conditioned factor.

Therefore, do not get attached to the time of achieving the result, do not set yourself any exact deadlines, let these deadlines be approximate and you will admit that something will go wrong and it will not work out exactly when you want and think it should work out.

This happens to so many people, they just get disappointed and give up, but they could have achieved their goal.

As a result, when many things often don’t work out, when you don’t complete things, you develop a negative outlook on life and yourself. All this together, like a heavy stone, not only presses and returns, but also discards further.

Self-hypnosis occurs, - " I can’t, I won’t achieve anything, I can’t do anything, I’m somehow different, a loser, etc."These thoughts finally finish you off, depress you physically and emotionally - you fall intrinsic value, you feel useless, but is it really possible to achieve something or change something with this??

Against this background, it very often arises.

Therefore, Start to act, act without looking closely at the result, it may not happen for a long time, but the actions may be absolutely correct. Just calmly stop and analyze your steps, and if you notice and realize a mistake, make an adjustment or change course and act again.

At the same time, at the beginning I had little knowledge, but over time everything comes by itself and at some point you suddenly understand that the mechanism has begun to work, a result has emerged and immediately the energy appears to continue what you started. But now with knowledge, some achievements and FAITH in yourself.

To perform a miracle, you need 100% responsibility for your destiny, inner attitude, patience and willingness to take risks. The most difficult thing is to start and go through the first, most difficult period, passing which is yours faith and intention will strengthen.

Finally, if all else fails:

There are such Nice words: “If you start something, go to the end and don’t look for reasons why you need to stop. Never, never give up.” After all, think for yourself, there is no point in giving up, otherwise why do everything? And even if something didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that you won’t gain useful experience, which will help in other matters.

And the last thing - Weak sides, everyone has them as well as strong ones. Trying to fight only weaknesses and not taking advantage of strengths, you will waste too much energy. Therefore, concentrate more on your strengths , use them to achieve your goal, and just work with the weak ones gradually and wisely.

These, of course, are not the only reasons why nothing works out - fear, perfectionism and the inability to concentrate and maintain attention on the goal; this requires separate articles. Good luck to you!

I present to your attention 10 current councils about what to do when everything is bad. Go ahead and sing!

There are moments in life that even incorrigible optimists and die-hard metal workers cannot endure.

It seems that everything in the world has turned against you: family, bosses, strangers in minibuses and shops, even nature has been pouring nasty cold rain for days now.

It seems that it couldn’t get any more disgusting and you just can’t find the answer to the question, what to do when everything is bad.

Even if everything is bad for you today, you need to think that tomorrow everything will definitely get better, and not: “I will die an ugly, sick, useless old maid.”

Dream about good things and the Universe will definitely respond to your call.

Take action.

Problems rarely resolve on their own.

Before you give up, you must be sure that you have done everything in your power to resolve the conflict.

Just because you sit down and whine all day long about how unhappy you are and why life is so unfair, your situation will not change for the better.

Humble yourself.

There are tragedies that we cannot influence.

I am talking, first of all, about the death of loved ones.

Yes, it hurts you a lot, yes, you think that this is unfair, but there are tests that we must endure with honor, so that when we meet our loved ones and relatives in another world, we will not be ashamed.

Did you understand everything? Now “hand over” your depression to Stanislav Bodyagin’s pawn shop! 🙂

How much is he willing to pay for it?

Watch the video:

« What to do when everything is bad?", - you ask.

I will answer: “Don’t be discouraged, don’t give up and hope for the best!”

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Recently a girl wrote to me in social networks: “Larissa, help me! I have terrible self-doubts. In any task, thoughts appear: “I’m not worthy, I can’t, I won’t succeed.” I'm always on the sidelines. I'm afraid to put big goals. I'm afraid to say something, to speak. It’s always important to me what people say, what they think. I am waiting for an assessment and am afraid of criticism from the outside. Very tired!".

I was very interested in this message, and I decided to meet this girl. And today before you is another way to change your life - but not in the usual format, but in the format of our conversation with Tonya.

Here are a few pieces from our long conversation, in which we talked about the structure of the world, good and evil, the principles of the Universe and, of course, about self-doubt and the main rules of those who achieve something.

Larisa, I'm afraid to start any projects. It seems to me that I won’t succeed! I'm constantly biting myself. You look so confident, how do you do it?

Tonya, keyword here “You look”: all people doubt themselves. I haven't met anyone successful person, who would not doubt himself. In the book "The Big Eight" I read about Nicole Kidman. She - momentarily an Oscar winner - says: “Every time I act in a leading role, it seems to me that I don’t know how to act at all. I make a list of actresses who are better than me and sometimes try to convince the director to cast them.”

The unsurpassed golfer Tiger Woods also said that before each competition the Poop Man comes to him and sows confusion of doubts. Tiger says that there is only one phrase that saves him, which he repeats constantly: “Pull yourself together, Tiger. You've done this a thousand times already."

When I run new project, inner voice tells me: “Nothing will work out. Everything will be bad." I want, like Sadness from the cartoon “Puzzle,” to fall face down on the floor and lie there. When I was preparing for a TEDx talk and saw the list of speakers, I thought: “Boss, everything is gone. I'm worse than all of them."

It seems to me that I also have only two modes: the “Genius” mode and the “I’m a nonentity” mode. And they switch quickly and chaotically.

- Well, how do you cope with this fear and begin to act?

I'm always motivated by two things. First, I imagine a scale. On one side of the scale lie self-doubt, critics' opinions, and fears. And on the other - my realization, my health, my happiness.

And then I realize that the stakes are high. There are only two options: either rot or burn.

Or I will be afraid of criticism and do nothing, and in the end I will become an unfulfilled angry old woman who will sit at the entrance and shout towards the youth “Drug addict! A prostitute!"; an old woman who is consumed by bitterness because she spent her life so mediocrely and never did anything that could be written about in her memoirs.

Either I will burn: do something, suffer defeats, experience ups, get high from victories, cry from failures, fight, worry, try, get burned and become stronger. And then at the end of my life, perhaps, a slightly “knocked-out” granny in my person will say with a laugh: “That’s what I did!” This is life, this is life! Listen, Spielberg, let’s go make a movie about me!”

There is no third. If you don't burn, it means you're rotting. In general, I imagine this scale, and then I say: “Fuck them all!” I will do what I want."

I've been following you for two years now and it seems like you only have successful projects. How to make sure everything works out?

No way. Here again the key word is “It seems.” Of the 10 projects that I launched in the last three years, 7 failed, and only 3 succeeded. And so it is for everyone! It’s just that few people talk about failed projects. I recently read about one of the largest online platforms, Amazon, and how they introduced new options. Most of their innovations failed.

The researchers found that the scientists who made the most breakthrough discoveries also had the most failed experiments. Another study from the same series about basketball player Michael Jordan: he was in first place both in the number of goals scored and in the number of misses. “Quantity always turns into quality,” this thought moves me.

Making experiments, even failed ones, is a lot of fun! It is not the result that is important, but the path itself. If you are attached only to the result, you can become unhappy.

- Cool! When you have doubts, do you say any words to yourself?

I came up with a thing for myself called “Red sheet in case of self-doubt.” So, I took a red sticky note and wrote 5 things on it that I remind myself of. It says something like this:

1. I am making this project from higher love, and not out of fear.
2. This is the best I can do now.
3. If I don't do this, I will regret it.
4. This will bring me new experience. In the end, every new failure brings me closer to victory.
5. It's FUN! FUN! FUN!

I also advise you, before starting a project, to write yourself a list of why you can’t stop and why you need to do it.

- What advice would you give to someone who doesn't believe in themselves?

One piece of advice: do something because the laws of physics absolutely don’t care about your sense of self. It doesn't matter whether you believe in the law of gravity or not, but if you step out of a sixth floor window, you will fly down. Even if at the same time you pray, visualize and repeat affirmations to fly upward. It’s the same in any business: if you draw a lot, you will learn to draw well, and it doesn’t matter whether you believe in yourself or not.

As Van Gogh said: “If you hear a voice inside yourself telling you: “You are not an artist,” do not listen to it. Write with even greater dedication and that voice will subside.”

My self-doubt is reaching the point of insanity. I rent an apartment and live with a neighbor. She often raises her voice at me, but I can’t say anything to her...

I understand you well. She was like that herself. I call this “passivity,” or the state of a victim, when you cannot stand up for yourself. In the book "Conversations with God" there was good phrase on this matter: “The best thing for you in situations where you are insulted is to stop the one who insults you. And it will be better for both - both you and your offender. After all, even the offender is insulted when his insults are allowed to continue.

For the offender, this is not peace, but death. After all, if the offender finds that his insults are accepted, then what has he learned? If the offender understands that his insults are no longer accepted, then what conclusions will he be forced to draw?

You must have the courage to express your emotions, because this is how you make the world a better place. The brilliant director Woody Allen has a golden phrase: “My problem is that I don’t spill anything out. I don't know how to express anger. Instead I get cancer."

Moreover, you must always remember about psychosomatics. For example, people who didn't say what they should have often get a sore throat.

- Oh, that's right! I'm completely last year I had a sore throat. And spent in hospitals...

Diseases are a direct indicator of resistance to the world and one’s nature. When we betray ourselves, we start to get sick.

In general, in the end, I’ll tell you this story. I recently congratulated a friend who turned 30 on his birthday. I asked him: “What did you lack in your decade from 20 to 30 to do more?”

He replied: “Courage.”

This amazed me because I also lack courage. Even now. Courage to express yourself. Don't be shy about courage. Courage to admit obvious things. Courage to get rid of illusions. Courage to be yourself.

So I wish we all remember the words of Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself. All other places are already taken."

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