We are glad to welcome you, dear readers of Valery Kharlamov’s blog! It is generally accepted that an arrogant person is a person who is contemptuous of the people around him, does not let them get close and “puts” himself above. Today we will try to consider who is really hiding behind the mask of arrogance and arrogance.
Features and manifestations
It was not in vain that I clarified about the mask, because, in fact, whether a person realizes it or not, this trait of his character is so-so defense mechanism. It allows you to hide not only from others, but even from yourself the fact of worthlessness. Yes, their own insolvency, underdevelopment and other complexes. And the more noticeably they disturb and disturb him, the more clearly his arrogance will manifest itself.
So, the main signs:
Consumer attitude. He expects recognition, praise, respect and much more from others, flatly refusing to give in return. Because he believes that others owe him, even are obliged to do something for his well-being and satisfaction of needs.
Inability to cooperate and be together. It turns out to be impossible for them even in speech to allow the use of such a pronoun as “we”. To relate oneself to someone, for such a person it seems worst idea. After all, this will mean that they are somewhat similar and united. And this is precisely what they carefully hide from with the help of pride.
Depreciation. Such people can devalue the individuality and personality of another person; his desires and feelings are not at all important to him. Even the fact that you hurt someone is ignored.
Vertical position. Arrogant people put themselves above others. This means that they believe that they know something better, more, which is why they have the right to lecture, teach and make comments. And everything would be fine if this was asked of them. But usually they, as they say, “stick their nose in someone else’s business,” aggressively intruding into someone else’s territory with advice and criticism.
Fear of intimacy. They don’t let anyone get close, that is, they don’t open their souls and don’t make them want to be closer to them, meet them more often, and most importantly, trust.
Causes
Problems from childhood
Which means, arrogance also originates precisely from some unfinished development tasks. And it happens like this: a small person who has mastered some skills, for example, going to the toilet and not going to the potty, eating with a spoon on his own, experiences ambivalent feelings about his growing up.
On the one hand, I really want spontaneity and freedom in manifestations, which is forgiven at a younger age. On the other hand, there is the need to be like adults, who seem to be powerful and all-knowing figures.
And against the backdrop of this conflict little man stuck between two poles - with whom to relate? It seems that he is no longer so stupid and helpless, but at the same time he has not mastered necessary knowledge and skills that are characteristic of adults. Therefore, there is shame for the fact that it seems that recently I was so stupid, and also for the fact that I have not yet learned everything that more mature individuals can do.
To get rid of this unbearable shame, they resort to a mask of arrogance, mocking the weaker. Wanting to prove in this way how far they are from them in development, taking, as it were, the position of an adult. But then you get the feeling that you are out of place, so for fear of exposure you have to defend yourself and not let others get close to you. What if they realize how imperfect and primitive it is?
A way to gain recognition and understand how to behave
Now I have no desire to read a completely uninteresting book, the sun is shining outside the window, the yard boys are kicking a ball, and I really want to run to them, have fun, shout. But I need to finish my lessons. And the regulator of behavior is precisely arrogance.
It appears in my head: “I’m better than them, because I’ll prepare for tomorrow’s topic and get good mark, and they will remain stupid,” or something similar in meaning. Doesn't recognizing yourself motivate you to sit and do uninteresting things? Parents will praise you later, the teacher at school, and classmates will be jealous...
Trying to cope with growing up
IN adolescence there is a need to recognize one’s difference from others. For example, what is smarter or more beautiful, stronger or better at dancing? I want to stand out, be noticed, admired, and respected.
But self-esteem may be low, and there may be a lack of knowledge about one’s personality, character and resources. Why do you have to go to extreme measures - to really stick out some of your peculiarities, even far-fetched ones, so that they will certainly notice and appreciate it. But the realization that such behavior, on the contrary, is repulsive, does not come, so such a person decides that they are simply jealous of him, and so they react incomprehensibly.
A way to defend your values
There are situations when boundaries are violated, and a person is unable to defend them, so he chooses a position such as withdrawal. Let's say you find yourself in conditions without hygiene standards. And if you yourself are a fairly clean person, then, accordingly, you will experience disgust and a feeling of disgust.
But people living in such conditions are satisfied with everything, and then they begin to accuse that you are just arrogant person, why don’t you even want to sit at the same table with them. And the more often they occur similar situations, when a person fails to defend his space, he will become more and more entrenched in a pattern of behavior that repels violators. The only problem is that the wall will be equally strong for those for whom it was originally created and for everyone else.
1. How do you understand what you need to do to improve your life and get rid of arrogance? First of all, examine yourself, try to remember when exactly you began to consider yourself better than others? Write down all the situations in which similar thoughts arose. Analyze this list. What happened to you in each case, what feelings did you experience, what did you cope with at that moment and what did you want? Understanding the reason for the emergence of this character trait will help you cope with it and “thaw out”, become more humane and able to build close, trusting relationships.
2. Work tirelessly on your self-esteem, bring the far-fetched image of yourself closer to reality. No perfect people, and showing that you are vulnerable in some way does not mean that you are weak and undeserving of love. On the contrary, that you are a living person, capable of feeling and making you want to support you and be close to you, and not run as far as possible from your pomposity. Take a look, the recommendations indicated in it may be useful in this situation.
3. Gradually build relationships with colleagues, family and friends; of course, you will need a large number of time, but it's worth it. If you don’t know how, take a closer look at them, how do they communicate with each other? Do they help, empathize, laugh at jokes or their own failures? What is happening that they become closer friend to a friend, and not further? You may have to learn this at first simple things, how to say “thank you”, give compliments and resist the desire to make a comment. This article will help you master communication skills.
4. Take courage and start working on your fears and complexes. This is not an easy process, but it is important to be honest with yourself if you discover your vulnerable spot– you will become stronger. Check out the article.
5. Learn to show love and compassion. Excessive pride will not help you win love and respect, you will get it if you are able to give it yourself. It’s not easy to go down, but experiencing the feeling of unbearable loneliness is much more difficult and requires more costs energy and resources.
Conclusion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Remember, if desired, a person is capable of much, so if you really decide to get rid of arrogance, you will definitely succeed. I wish you success!
The material was prepared by Alina Zhuravina.
arrogant, arrogant, arrogant; haughty, arrogant, arrogant. Smugly arrogant, arrogant. “Here the city will be mortgaged for the evil of an arrogant neighbor.” Pushkin. “She looked arrogantly (adv.) and evil.” Nekrasov. "By yellow face ran through it... ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary
haughty- arrogant, short. f. arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant; compare Art. more arrogant... Dictionary of difficulties of pronunciation and stress in modern Russian language
haughty- Old Russian - nadmen. Old Slavonic - nadmen (proud). Common Slavic – nadъmenъ. The adjective "arrogant" is Slavic in origin. For the first time in written monuments the word is mentioned in the 11th century. In others Slavic languages this... ... Etymological dictionary Russian language Semenov
haughty- incredibly arrogant... Dictionary of Russian Idioms
Original inflated, cf. inflated straight and figurative meaning. From na dmit to inflate, art. glory arrogance - I blow from smoke; see Meillet, Et. 300; Mi. EW 54; Brandt, RFV 25, 34; Bernecker 1, 249 et seq... Etymological Dictionary of the Russian Language by Max Vasmer
Adj. 1. Disdainful and condescending towards people; arrogant (about a person). 2. Expressing arrogance, arrogance. Ephraim's explanatory dictionary. T. F. Efremova. 2000... Modern Dictionary Russian language Efremova
Arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant... Forms of words
haughty- Borrowing. from Art. sl. language, where it is suffering. prib. past vr. from inflate *nadǫti. Wed. inflated with suf. t, killed killed. See blow... Etymological Dictionary of the Russian Language
haughty- Borrowing from Old Church Slavonic, represents passive participle past tense from nadyati - to inflate. Literally means - inflated... Etymological Dictionary of the Russian Language by Krylov
Books
- The Arrogant Lover, Stuart E.. Noble aristocrat Jessamyn Maitland belongs to an ancient but impoverished family and is forced to entertain guests at luxurious balls - predict the future using cards. However, even her...
- The Arrogant Lover, Anne Stewart. All the skill of the impoverished aristocrat Jessamyn Maitland to predict the future with the help of cards was not enough to predict how incredible person will bind her with magical bonds...
Arrogance - the determination to speak to the world in one's own language
Prosperity always makes fools arrogant, and a carefree peaceful life weakens the strength of the spirit and easily directs it to carnal temptations.
Arrogance is always a vice, if only because arrogant people have no serious reasons to respect themselves.
Pride invariably leads to death. Arrogance leads to fall
An arrogant and stubborn person does everything his own way, does not listen to anyone's advice and soon becomes a victim of his own delusions.
May beauties boasted
With his arrogant grace;
October died - and the aunts began to
Bodies of days gone by. ...
Arrogance as a personality quality is the ability to create a false impression of one’s importance through detachment from all affection, coldness and inaccessibility in relationships with others.
In other words, puffed up soap bubble, wanting to appear important, distances himself from possible clashes, declaring to those who want to touch him his inaccessibility and coldness. He knows the consequences of collision and contact. Interestingly, arrogance has the root dm - to blow. So an arrogant person is an inflated person.
A person clearly understands that by putting on a mask of arrogance, that is, by overcoming stiffness and awkwardness, one can easily solve the issues he needs. Let us remember what impression the arrogant appearance of Kisa Vorobyaninov made on the future members of the counter-revolutionary organization “Union of Sword and Ploughshare”: “Ostap pointed his hand at Vorobyaninov: “Who do you think this powerful old man is?” Don't say, you can't know. This is a giant of thought, the father of Russian democracy and a person close to the emperor. Ippolit Matveyevich stood up to his full beautiful height... He stood with his chin raised to the ceiling, in the pose of a man preparing to march through a ceremonial march. Elena Stanislavovna sat down on a chair, looking at Ostap in fear.” After some time, Ostap Bender approached Kisa - That's it, dear patron. It seems to me that you understand me. You will have to spend an hour as a giant of thought and a special person close to the emperor. - What should I do? - Ippolit Matveevich groaned. - You must remain silent. Sometimes, for the sake of importance, puff out your cheeks. - But this is... deception. - Who is speaking? Is this Count Tolstoy speaking? Or Darwin? No. I hear this from the lips of a man who just yesterday was planning to break into Gritsatsueva’s apartment at night and steal the poor widow’s furniture. Don't overthink it. Keep quiet. And don’t forget to puff out your cheeks.”
Arrogance does not lecture anyone, does not stress anyone, and does not force anyone: “Do as I do.” It is not her intention to force something on anyone. “Go your way, just leave me alone” is her rule. She rejects another not out of disdain or contempt, but, most often, because of her mask of cold inaccessibility, behind which hides an insecure person. The warmth of people can only melt the icy wall of detachment and inaccessibility, behind which her own imperfections, weaknesses and carefully hidden feelings will appear in nakedness.
How does arrogance work? Let’s listen to Teodoro from Lope de Vega’s play “Dog in the Manger” and everything will become clear to us: Steel obeys obediently, it is flattened by the hammer. She is thrown from a fiery forge into the freezing cold. And in this torture, and in this torture, and in this repeated torture, a damask blade is born. This is how they torture my heart, inflame it with a tender gaze. But as soon as the heart gets hot, the arrogant ones are cooled down with cold.” In other words, the specificity of the impact of arrogance on other people is a “chilling coldness,” an insurmountable detachment and inaccessibility from them. For this reason, the sisters of arrogance are pretentiousness, stiffness and mannerism.
Arrogance is far from the desire to humiliate another person. Her coldness and detachment can sting, cause harm, cause indignation and indignation, but there is no conscious humiliation in arrogance. Cold is destroyed by heat. Ice is afraid of fire. Weak person will react to external attributes arrogance and retreat - offended and offended. Man is a flame, melting the ice of arrogance will only strengthen his feeling self-esteem. From female arrogance strong personalities sometimes they lose their composure, she drives them crazy, excites their imagination and becomes the heroine of their dreams. Faced with arrogance, a person involuntarily feels the desire to melt its icy bastions, to enter its ice house and, having reached the heart, see it alive, spontaneous and interested. Behind the arrogance of the “crown of creation” of the marvelous Diana lies love: “Love, why are you torturing me? After all, I was ready to forget you, Why does your shadow come again? Cruel pain will execute my soul, Love, why are you torturing me?”
Arrogance is the masquerade costume of the false ego at the ball of life. If you look closely at her, you get the impression that she lives within herself according to her own laws. She doesn’t need anyone, she is independent from anyone - she’s just a self-sufficient person, and that’s all. Arrogance is characterized by straightforwardness, lack of obsequiousness, flattery and fawning in speeches. This is undoubtedly hers strengths, which cannot clearly outweigh the weak ones: arrogance, pomposity, bragging and immodesty. The false ego of arrogance does not humiliate anyone, but, nevertheless, it verbally and non-verbally demonstrates to others that they are not equal to it, that, they say, keep your distance from me. The ego shows with all its appearance that it does not intend to bend to anyone, and does not intend to get close to anyone.
Do you think arrogance doesn’t want communication? I still want to, but at the slightest attention to her, the false ego turns on. It instantly scans the other person for his social status. If he does not arouse interest in the false ego, it raises a voice: “Attention is not given to me, but is presented to me by an “unworthy” person.” Arrogance, listening to its ego, either ignores or puts the “unworthy” in its place with demonstrative coldness. No words are needed for this, it’s enough to cast a disgusted glance at him or not look at him at all, raise his eyebrows, turn up his nose, stand up and, without listening to the end, walk out with a leisurely gait. Arrogance prefers to do without words. It is a great honor to enter into dialogue. She resorts to the power of words as a last resort, when her rich arsenal does not help. nonverbal cues contempt.
The evil riot of ego arrogance can grow to such proportions that a person will withdraw and neglect God. In Ps.9:25 it is written: “In his arrogance the wicked despises the Lord: “he will not seek”; in all his thoughts: “There is no God!” These extreme manifestations of arrogance associated with pride cause severe educational lessons from the equilibrium forces of the universe. The Bible says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
Petr Kovalev 2013
Sentences containing the word arrogant
- His confident, almost arrogant tone had an effect.
- He was without a hat, and thick blond hair framed the delicate features of an imperious, arrogant face.
- The father looked somewhat less arrogant and frowning than usual.
- The eyebrows rose on his arrogant face, and the procurator looked the high priest straight in the eyes with amazement.
- He had the same dark gaze and arrogant air.
- Corneille turned around at this question, asked in a slightly arrogant tone.
- Hornblower had seen him once and remembered his arrogant aquiline nose and imperious eyes.
- Walking at the head with an arrogant air was a young warrior two or three years older than me.
- Always arrogant, even when, being alone, he looked at himself in the mirror.
- While they were talking, her face was ablaze, her eyes burned with a proud and arrogant fire.
- One male, arrogant, with stiff legs, stepped aside, the other remained in place.
- He took the banknotes with a special arrogant gesture, counted them very carefully and bowed emphatically.
- It was as if a huge bronze idol had risen in front of him on the wall, arrogant and powerful.
- Her gray hair was raised in an arrogant curl and shone as much as the glass of her pince-nez.
- Maintaining perfect posture, I assumed the most arrogant and arrogant appearance, as befits an aristocrat.
- However, having put on his uniform, so to speak, in the performance of his duties, he again became arrogant and insolent.
- Standing by the fireplace was a man of average height, proud, arrogant, wide forehead and a piercing gaze.
- The political instructor did not say hello, he walked past with an arrogant look, sticking out his jaw with sparse, large teeth.
- In vain did my arrogant mind try to command my body, in vain did my soul try to rule the flesh - the flesh trembled.
- And only once did his arrogant gaze turn towards the soldiers, silent and gloomy witnesses to this scene.