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Irresponsibility is not the most pleasant quality. It interferes with building a career, spoils our relationships with people, and ultimately prevents us from becoming successful and happy. Let's figure it out, is irresponsibility forever, or can we try to become a more responsible person?
As a child, I really wanted a pet: a kitten, a puppy, or at least a white mouse in a cage. But my parents did not share my desire and always repeated: “You’re irresponsible, you don’t answer for yourself, how will you answer a pet?” And then I believed it. So much so that for many years I didn’t dare to have a pet until they gave me one. Then I realized two things:
- Under no circumstances should you say that to a child.
- I can be responsible not only for a pet, but for my entire life.
However, still in adolescence I realized that the level of responsibility is not a constant, it is set by our environment. For example, in the company of protective parents or an overly responsible man, girls often begin to behave rather childishly. They don’t need to be responsible in this situation; others will do it for them. But as soon as the same young lady finds herself in the company of an even more irresponsible creature, for example, a younger sister, she suddenly takes on the role of an intelligent and responsible “parent”. 
But in any case, in order not to get used to irresponsibility, you must try to avoid overprotection and communicate with others on equal terms.
Responsibility towards others
Being a responsible person towards others means fulfilling your obligations and promises on time and efficiently. It sounds simple, but sometimes it is much more difficult to do.
To become a more responsible person, you first need to stop making excuses for your own irresponsibility. So, for example, people who are constantly late say in their defense: "Well, you know me!" But this is the worst excuse you can come up with. It means that a person takes his own shortcomings for granted and is not going to change anything.
To keep your promises, you must make them only consciously. Often people who it's hard to say no, make a huge number of promises that they cannot fulfill in principle. They end up letting others down and are considered the most irresponsible people in the world. Such kindness does more harm than good. So train yourself not to make promises that you yourself are not sure of.
Don't leave things to the last minute. Irresponsible people often blame their problems on any external forces and circumstances: traffic jams, Internet outages or even conspiracies of ill-wishers. Learn to take full responsibility for your obligations and provide for all force majeure circumstances.
And in general, responsibility presupposes the ability to admit one’s mistakes. Analyze your actions and honestly admit to yourself why in one case or another you behaved irresponsibly, where you made a mistake and how you can avoid such a situation in the future.
Practice keeping your promises. You can do it on yourself - give yourself three promises every morning and try to fulfill them, no matter what, and write down the results.
Increasing responsibility is training in self-discipline, which is never harmful to work on.
Responsibility towards yourself
There is another level of responsibility, much more complex, which few people master. This is responsibility for one’s own life, the ability not to go with the flow, but to act as the architect of one’s own destiny. It is very simple to understand whether a person has such a quality - just ask him what he has achieved in life himself, and what "It just happened naturally." If most of "it somehow worked out"- this means that he only went with the flow and did not manage his life.
Developing such a degree of responsibility is not so easy; many books, trainings and seminars are devoted to this. But the game is worth the candle, because if successful, the person will manage his life himself and lead it to a better result.
Stephen Covey in his book "Seven Habits" highly effective people" invites readers to determine their circle of influence, and not waste energy on what happens outside this circle, but do everything possible to ensure that everything inside the circle happens exactly the way you want.
First you need to stop and think whether everything in life suits you. Is your work, relationships, hobbies something you aspired to, or just something that somehow came into your life? If the second option, write down your real desires and goals, and think about how you can influence the situation, what steps will lead you to the desired result.
One way to change your attitude towards life is auto-training or affirmations. Constant repetition of words: "Only I am responsible for my life" will help develop an appropriate psychological attitude.
The term “responsible person” has become very popular nowadays. It can even be seen in job advertisements as mandatory requirement to the candidate. As a personality trait, the word “responsibility” cannot be found even in large explanatory dictionaries. However, many people have their own opinions regarding its meaning. Characteristics of a responsible person are a very subjective concept. Let's figure out what responsibility is.
Responsibility is the ability and desire of an individual to invest his time, money or part of his freedom to achieve specific purpose. In some cases, the term may also include the ability to be punished for one's actions. IN similar situations responsibility implies a certain fairness of the individual in how he treats himself. A person agrees that his actions deserve some blame, and is ready to take responsibility for them.
This term is quite ancient, it is found in many languages. Interestingly, in all cases it is associated with the ability to react or respond to something, and is also associated with a certain punishment. Initially, punishment was a completely tangible concept. For example, murder was punishable by some compensation for moral and material damage.
Today sense of responsibility more associated with a person's ability to hold given word, as well as make decisions in which the individual acts not only in own interests. The concept of responsibility is much broader than the term “obligation”. However, the second is an integral part of the first.
Responsibility occurs only when there is a relationship between two or more people. That is, such a thing as responsibility does not exist outside of society. Then, when it comes to the fact that a person responsibly does something specifically for himself, it still means personal quality formed in society. There is a clear direct relationship between the closeness of a person's connection with other people and the likelihood that a person will be responsible. For this quality to develop, you need experience in responsible relationships and developed reflection of activity. Because this property can only be found in a truly active person.
Responsibility, like self-criticism, an essential quality that should be present in any leader. However, in our time, an incorrect attitude towards the concept of a leader has been formed. Everywhere and everywhere the idea is being promoted that every person should strive to be in front or at the head of some group of people. Unfortunately, such propaganda is a trap for responsible people who lack the skills and inclinations of management. Because of this, they have to suffer and lose their health, doing something that, in fact, is not their path. This is especially true for young men who are early age develop a number of illnesses while experiencing serious stress at work.
Therefore, responsibility is social concept, and it is supported by some actions. At the same time, the level of responsibility should be formed by each individual specifically for himself, taking into account his capabilities.
How to become a responsible person
Responsibility is a skill that can be acquired with some effort. To understand how to become more responsible, you need to consider existing levels assessments of this quality. Ask someone you know to analyze you according to the criteria below. Often, after such an assessment, many questions arise, the answers to which will be useful. Since it is not easy to become responsible right away, an external independent view will be very valuable, about which we'll talk below.
Levels of Personal Responsibility
- Zero responsibility implies that you play the role of a dependent. You completely remove yourself from any responsibility because you believe that someone else's care for you is a self-evident responsibility. Such a person does not think about how to become more responsible, because he is comfortable in his current position.
- The first level puts you in the position of a performer. Such a person practices the principle “work is not a wolf.” Usually such people do not do anything until they are told to do something. If the performer is not pushed to take some action, then he will remain at the starting point.
- The second level of responsibility implies that a person takes the position of a specialist. Such people do their work efficiently, but do not put their soul into it. They view their occupation as a way to earn money and nothing more. You should not expect any initiative from such a person. Such people are not interested in helping or suggesting anything. You need to understand that a specialist can leave you at any time if he finds a more profitable occupation. Such people quite often use the phrase “I don’t get paid for this,” thereby limiting themselves from doing things that are not included in the list of their powers.
- The third level is occupied by the responsible employee. Even if such a person is currently does not perform its functions well enough, it strives to develop and acquire the necessary skills. Therefore, in the future, the responsible employee will certainly become a professional in his field. The results of his work are important to him, he is quite proactive and open to sharing experiences. Such a person treats his occupation with interest. He views his employer's business as his own. Every employee who works shoulder to shoulder with him is perceived by him as a member of the family. A responsible employee never says, “I don’t get paid for this.” When he is entrusted with some task, he completes it, and then talks to his superiors about paying both him and his colleagues for this work.
- The fourth level of responsibility is occupied by the local manager. Such a person is a manager who organizes the work of subordinates to achieve set goals. This person takes responsibility for himself and for others. He is not afraid to give orders and make serious decisions, on the correctness of which the fate of many depends. The local manager likes work less because he has to delegate it to his wards, who do it worse than he does. However, it is more correct to entrust it to employees rather than to do it yourself. The local manager organizes the work process in the area entrusted to him.
- The fifth level is intended for a director who supervises superiors for more than low level. This person is responsible for the business as a whole, while placing tactical decisions in the hands of his wards. It remains for him to formulate a strategy. A person of this level is able to open new directions or close existing ones. He is a professional who makes serious decisions. However, his level of responsibility is limited solely by the salary he receives and the prestigious position.
- The sixth level of responsibility is unique to the business owner. It is this person who organizes a business in which he invests his money, time and soul. He is able to be responsible for the results of his actions not only with finances, but also with his life. The owner is considering own business like his child, whom he raised for many years. He selects a director who can effectively manage his business, but at any time he can replace him with another. What's interesting, owner large company Rarely exposed in public. He is a kind of neck general director, which directs the latter in the right direction. A business owner does not ask himself the question: “How to become a responsible person?” He is responsible by definition, since the well-being of an entire staff of employees and his own financial condition depend on him.
The above levels should not be considered positions. They represent levels of personality development. For example, a person holding the position of director of a large enterprise, from the personal and psychological side, can be an ordinary specialist or performer. At the same time, his secretary, psychologically, may well turn out to be the owner. There are often men who present themselves at work as effective leaders, and houses turn into dependents or executors. There are often cases when women housewives take full responsibility upon themselves, choosing for themselves the role of family owner. At the same time, they raise their husband as the head of the family.
Cultivating a sense of responsibility means teaching yourself to see your obligations, as well as being able to fulfill them and pay for the consequences. Moreover, the fee can be expressed in time or money. You must be able to pay for own mistakes even when there is no desire to do it.
Since developing responsibility right away can be difficult, you can do next tasks to acquire this quality:
- First of all, you need to make responsibility one of your values. You need to realize that this quality is a very important social skill that gives you a chance to significantly improve your life. Development of responsibility personality is a process that requires only your desire. You should have a desire to cultivate this quality in yourself. Take responsibility for your family life. Then you will be able to realize, for example, that the author of any resentment that arises in a relationship is only you.
- You can practice developing personal responsibility by asking yourself questions about what you can do now and what opportunities you have. It is very useful to replace demands like “I want” with questions about what needs to be done in order to get what I want.
- You can develop responsibility by asking yourself more often: “What should I do to be fully responsible for my actions?”
- Since developing a sense of responsibility alone is not always easy, you can choose a mentor(partner) who will reward and penalize you as necessary. It is better to select a person who can adequately assess your development and monitor your life activities. A partner will motivate you to follow a certain work discipline, without postponing any tasks for later.
- It will not be superfluous to send reports on your development to your partner remotely at a certain frequency. It is enough to do this 2 times a week. You can come up with fines for failure to meet deadlines and methods of rewarding for a responsible approach to this issue. By doing this for twenty-one days, you will be able to develop a healthy habit to some extent.
Now you know what it means to be a responsible person. With effort, you will soon notice certain changes in your life. Developing personal responsibility according to the above scenario will allow you to see good results in the near future.
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Let's imagine the following situation: at a meeting, the boss set a number of tasks that require a responsible person to complete. teamwork. By the end of the quarter, everything should be completed, and each of the employees expresses their willingness to contribute. But then the time comes, and the cart, as they say, is still there. Have workers forgotten about their work? Not at all. It’s just that none of them felt their own responsibility for completing the assigned tasks. Are you familiar with such cases?
It is very important not just to be, but to feel this internal individual responsibility. It comes from within, because it cannot be created by a boss. You yourself must understand and bear responsibility for your every action and deed.
Below we will look at 8 habits characteristic of this type of people.
1. Acceptance of responsibility.
A decent, responsible person is not afraid to take responsibility; he does not run away from it or try to shift it onto others. He is happy to begin completing the necessary tasks and does it efficiently so that no one has to worry or redo it.2. A responsible person does not need excuses.
He does not look for those to blame and does not despair in case of failure. Responsible human behavior involves searching for ways to solve emerging difficulties, because hopeless situations practically non-existent. Such people never try to whitewash themselves and “shift” the blame for their failures onto someone else. They steadfastly endure their mistakes, analyze them and try to correct and avoid them in the future.3. A responsible person meets deadlines.
Not in vain folk wisdom says: “a good spoon for dinner.” Decent responsible person knows that the value of each task depends on how quickly it is completed. He is aware of the hope and trust placed in him, which is why punctuality and the ability to do everything within the allotted time frame are other signs of a responsible person.
4. The ability to be the master of your life.
It is impossible to live and do anything without encountering problems. However, a person with developed individual responsibility is able to always maintain confidence in his abilities and positive attitude, overcoming any obstacles with their help. Such a person does not wait for checks and instructions; he himself does the work efficiently, helping his colleagues in word and deed.5. The ability to keep your feelings under control.
Responsible human behavior implies restraining any emotions that may in one way or another interfere with the completion of assigned tasks. In this way, people can control their feelings, not allowing them to disturb themselves from a state of calm. They boldly take on problems and find solutions while maintaining professional composure.6. Such a person plans and controls everything.
He clearly knows what he must do and when, thinks everything through and follows the plan. If a problem arises, a person who feels responsible thinks through all the solutions, chooses the most suitable one and informs everyone interested people that the problem has been solved and you can move forward according to plan.7. Interaction with others.
A responsible person can reveal the potential of the people around him, he skillfully attracts all available resources and knows how to work with people. By charging them with his responsibility, he stimulates them to active work, helping their colleagues and subordinates make a meaningful contribution to the common cause.8. Work not for the sake of praise.
The main reward that awaits such a person is quality work own and collective, completed on time. The joy of the achieved results is beyond praise, and various encouragements from the authorities are just a pleasant addition.We hope that by studying signs of a responsible person, you can change yourself and make these 8 habits yours life attitudes. In this case, respect and trust from colleagues and superiors will certainly not take long to arrive!