Everyone thinks antonyms to the extent of their depravity. Jokes - pictures, video jokes, funny stories and anecdotes

Letter 37 to a sister who grieves over her brother's depravity I understand your grief. As an older sister, you replaced his mother after his mother’s death. Life was hard for you while he was studying. Because of him, you were late in getting married and decided not to get married. You have impoverished your life so that

Remember your Divinity every moment - and then you will become the creators of your own happiness

Remember your Divinity every moment - and then you will become the creators of your own happiness. But you still have a lot of dense illusions on Earth. material world. Materiality continues to be too real for you. She still pulls you in and forces you

And here’s a long joke about how “everyone understands everything in moderation”
of his depravity...

Where can a boy study?

First grade teacher Miss Neelam (28 years old) had difficulty with
one of her students.

She asked, "What's wrong with you, boy?"

The boy replied, "I'm too smart for first grade.
My sister is in third, and I'm smarter than her! I think I should study too
third!"

It was too much for Miss Neelam. She took the boy to the director.

While he waited in the reception area, she explained the whole situation to the director. And the principal said that he would give the boy a test and if he could not answer any of the questions, he would have to return to first grade and behave well. She agreed.

The boy was brought into the office, the conditions were explained, and he agreed to take the test.

Director: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Director: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".

And this happened with every question to which, in the director’s opinion, a third-grader should know the answer.
Then the principal turned to Miss Neelam and said, “I think the boy can
go to third grade."
Then Miss Neelam replied to the director, “I have my own questions. Can I
ask them?" The boy and the director nodded.

She began, “What does a cow have in the amount of 4, but I only have 2?
Boy: after a pause, “Legs.”
Miss Neelam: “What do your trousers have that mine don’t?”
Boy: "Pockets"
Miss Neelam: It starts with K and ends with S, hairy, oblong, tasty with a whitish liquid inside?
Boy: Coconut
Miss Neelam: What's hard and pink when it goes in, and what's soft and sticky when it goes in
when does it come out?
The director was dumbfounded with his eyes open, and did not have time to get ahead of the answer,
Boy: Bubblegum
Miss Neelam: What does a man do - standing, a woman - sitting, and a dog - on three legs?
Now the director's eyes actually bulged wide, but before he
managed to say something
Boy: Gives his hand
Ms. Neelam: Now I will ask questions like “Who am I, okay?
Boy: yeah
Miss Neelam: You are putting your stake in me. You tie it to lift it. And I get wet before you:.
Boy: Tent
Miss Neelam: A finger enters me. You rub and tug at me when you
boring. The best man gets me first.
The director is very worried, tense and forced to take a large portion of vodka
Boy: Wedding ring
Miss Neelam: I am there different sizes. When I don't feel good, I drip. When you blow from me, I feel good
Boy: Nose
Miss Neelam: My shaft is tight. My end is thrusting. I shake when I move.
Boy: Arrow
Miss Neelam: What word starts with "F" and ends with "K" and means
a lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck (Pozharka)
Miss Neelam: What word starts with "F" and ends with "K" and if
this is not the case, do you have to work with your hands?
Boy: Fork
Miss Neelam: All men have it, some have it longer than others.
Dad doesn't use his at all. Does a man give this to his wife after marriage?
Boy: Last name
Miss Neelam: Which male organ has no bones, but has muscles and many veins.
Does it pulsate and is responsible for making love?
Boy: Heart
The director breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher: “Send him to
University of Cambridge! I answered the last 10 questions incorrectly!!"

Story one.
The husband, after celebrating something in a restaurant with his friends, put on someone else's jacket, belonging to one of his friends. It's clear why - drunk was.
In the morning I woke up and saw someone else’s men’s jacket hanging on my butt. The thought in my head: “Wow! Not only does she (the wife) bring men home, but they also leave their jackets at home. By the way, the wife doesn’t bring anyone.

Chasing this thought in his head and at the same time making plans for revenge on both of them, he decided to examine the jacket of his, as he was sure, enemy. In order for revenge to be the most destructive, you need to know more about the enemy. At that moment he remembered that Napoleon defeated his own people thanks to good information about their plans and actions, and Waterloo lost because he did not have enough information.

He found a fairly large sum of money in his jacket.
“He’s also rich!” pulsed in his head.
Preserving the remnants of self-control, he continued to examine the “enemy” jacket, so frivolously left by the enemy on his (husband’s) territory. The “deceived” husband found the passport. “Yeah! Now I’ll find out everything!” a victorious grin appeared on his face. .The passport was one of the friends .with whom he had been drinking the day before.

A tested mixture of feelings: relief, disappointment, shame that he stole someone else’s jacket and a sense of responsibility that he needed to call the owner of the jacket about his (the jacket’s) whereabouts, sent him to the kitchen and forced him to drink something strong to restore peace of mind.

The most interesting thing is that the thought of calling his wife and asking her did not appear to him during all the time of his research and torment.

The second story.
My husband returned from fishing. My wife washed everything in the washing machine and hung it up to dry. In the morning, my husband saw someone else's men's underpants on the drying line. And he threw a scandal at his wife, although he himself brought them home from fishing in a pile of dirty laundry...

Everyone judges according to the extent of their depravity. And by a person’s reaction to some event, you can understand what he would do himself. Ask a person for advice, and from his advice you will understand him.

You can also understand yourself. The way you see others and react to their actions says more about yourself than the other person. For different people the same people look different. Someone may see people as scoundrels and fools, while others will see the same people as smart and noble. If a person does not have enough intelligence, then he will not understand the actions of the sage; rather, he will criticize them. Often, subordinates consider the boss to be stupid, but at the same time, the “smart guys” themselves are not able to create a business.

In the same way, if you think that your loved one is not calling you because he is probably cheating on you with another woman at that moment. This means that this is exactly what you would do yourself.

This also applies to other “chases” in the head. If you tell someone, “You make me nervous! How can you do this, not call me and not keep me informed of the matter!” This means that you are making yourself nervous. You look at the situation and actions of another person through your corrupted properties. You see your own corrupted qualities, not the corrupted person.

Someone, not seeing something in its usual place, will say (think): “It was stolen!” And someone: “It’s probably somewhere else”

It’s the same in relationships. By drawing conclusions only based on your experience and evaluating everything through your own properties, you can make a mistake and undeservedly offend a person or destroy a relationship in vain.

So, don't rush to conclusions. And evaluate your reactions as a manifestation of your own properties.