Perhaps, everyone will need knowledge today that will decipher and tell us how to understand that a person is lying. It's easy if learn a few secrets and be able to use them.
Psychology will put everything in its place, and gestures, facial expressions, phrases and glances will help you find out that a person is lying.
No one is immune from lies. Some people lie in small things, trying to reveal only half-truths; for some, lying is a hobby, and for others, it’s a habit. But there is a category of people for whom lying has become a profession and each of us can find ourselves in the place of the victim of such a liar.
How can you protect yourself from lies and determine that a person is lying? Will help you figure this out advice from psychologists, capable of analyzing human behavior and revealing the main signs of lies.
- Minimum gestures. People who are having a conversation pure heart, always emotional. They gesture, trying to draw attention to their problem. The liar's gestures are minimal; he keeps them under control and uses them only unconsciously. It is subconscious signals that help us recognize that a person is lying.
- When a person lies, he tries to cover his face with his hands: Often touches forehead, lips or nose.
- You can recognize a liar by his gaze - he tries not to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, his pupils are constricted. A liar blinks very rarely and rarely fixes his gaze on one point.
- A man who tells lies keeps a closed posture: Crosses his arms over his chest or hugs himself a little.
- If a person is not used to lying, he might be a little nervous, fiddling with a pen, sheet of paper or any other object. But this also happens to people who are insecure.
- The interlocutor who lies may take a short break in the conversation: cough or drink water.
In fact, it is sometimes very difficult or almost impossible to determine that a person is lying. Some people are so believe their lies that it is very difficult to catch them with the help of gestures and facial expressions. Such individuals lie constantly; lying for them is a certain way of life or even a disease. But even here there are a couple of secrets to recognize whether a person is telling the truth or not.
If a man constantly repeats phrases like“I never lie” or “Have I ever deceived you?” means he wants to hide the truth.
If your interlocutor does not have a phenomenal memory, then after a while he will forget the details about which he lied. He will repeat a well-thought-out lie down to the last detail, but specific questions will certainly unbalance him. Ask to describe the situation in more detail or clarify the circumstances under which it occurred. Usually liars begin to get confused in details or come up with ridiculous situations.
Sometimes during such checks a person may behave aggressively or, on the contrary, want to arouse pity from the interlocutor or win him over. With such conversations a liar often tries to change the subject or answer a question with a question. Try to play by the rules of your interlocutor and take the conversation in a different direction. You will notice that the person has relaxed, calmed down and does not intend to return to the exciting topic.
Where does a person look when he lies?
We promised to tell you how to understand that a person is lying by looking at his eyes and where he is looking in this case. Many people gives away the look, they can even look you in the eyes, but they continue to lie.
When a person tells the truth, his gaze is directed inward, as if into himself. He speaks in a measured tone, his lips pursed. The liar is the opposite looks up and into the distance, as if thinking about a non-existent object. He speaks too quickly or, conversely, too slowly. Can also reveal the deceiver gaze directed at right side .
When imagining a situation, a person can turn his head slightly to the right and look up. At the same time, he seems to be imperceptibly trying to look at the interlocutor, studying his reaction.
How to understand that a person is lying to you via correspondence?
It happens that we cannot establish visual contact with the interlocutor. And here there are a couple of tricks. When a person is far away, he relaxes and can use words that will certainly give him away.
There is one telling story about how a girl exposed her boyfriend in a lie after reading his message. The guy wrote his girlfriend a message like this: “I’m home, and I’ll be there until the evening.” After reading it, the girl realized that she was being deceived. After all, if her beloved were really at home, he would have written “here” and not “there”. This is how people are given away by carelessly spoken phrases. It is important to learn to read between the lines and catch such inconsistencies.
According to statistics, every person manages to lie at least 4 times a day, since the truth often contradicts generally accepted standards decency, ethics and even morality. How to recognize a lie if not a single modern detector is able to give one hundred percent guarantee that what a person says is not a deception? Let's define external signs lies that will betray your interlocutor.
What kind of untruth can happen?
Often deception is harmless when a person tells a lie out of politeness or out of a desire to be liked (“You look great!”, “Very glad to meet you!”). Sometimes people have to withhold the whole truth or remain silent in response to awkward questions out of reluctance to escalate the situation, and this is also considered insincerity.
However, psychologists say that even a seemingly harmless lie can seriously harm a relationship, especially if we're talking about about understatement between family members: husband and wife, parents and children. It is difficult to achieve mutual trust and maintain strong family ties in such circumstances, so it is important to know how to recognize the lies of a man, woman or child.
Observations by specialists in the field of psychology have shown certain results that relate to deception in the family:
- despite their outward openness to their interlocutor, extroverts are more prone to lies than introverts;
- children quickly learn to lie in authoritarian families, and they do it often and masterfully;
- parents who behave gently towards their child notice lies immediately, since he rarely deceives and lies uncertainly;
- the female sex is prone to deception when it comes to everyday things - they hide the price of purchased goods, do not tell about a broken cup or a burnt dish, etc.;
- Men are characterized by understatement in matters of relationships, they hide their dissatisfaction with their partners, have mistresses and confidently lie about their fidelity.
How to learn to recognize a lie?
To prevent the development of complex family relations built on deception, infidelity and understatement, it is important to learn to understand sincerity. Often the ability to deduce a deceiver clean water is natural talent a person who intuitively knows how to recognize a lie by the facial expressions, gestures or intonation of the interlocutor. Helps him with this life experience communication with liars, or natural observation.
This does not mean that anyone cannot spot deception without the appropriate experience or talent. Currently, psychology has established some verbal and nonverbal cues distortions of information that are typical for most people. Thanks to a well-developed methodology based on understanding such signals, each person will be able to develop the ability to recognize insincerity. Let's find out what can reveal a liar.
There are no people who tell “the truth and only the truth”; we all lie about 200 times a day. Is it possible to spot a liar without a humiliating background check and a lie detector?
At least you can try. The main thing is to remember - there are no rules without exceptions, liars who blush, shyly hide their eyes are extremely rare in life, you should focus on the presence of not one, but at least several signs at the same time.
I recognize everything by the eyes!
- The look is the most difficult to “fake”. Depending on where a person looks when remembering, you can understand whether he is deceiving. So - eye movement in the “left-up” direction indicates that a person is “constructing” reality (that is, fantasizing or lying), eye movement in the “right-up” direction indicates that he remembers what really happened .
- Pay attention to eye contact as well. Inexperienced liars prefer not to look into the eyes; experienced ones, on the contrary, look intently, without looking away.
- “And who knows why he blinks” is sung in famous song. Now you know that a person who knows nothing has gotten into his eye blinks on average 20 times a minute. If this person is lying, then the number of movements of the upper eyelid increases to 80-100.
I recognize everything from the words!
- Very often liars, including those who came from childhood, answer the question with exactly the same words that it was asked. “Did you eat chocolate?” - “No, I didn’t eat chocolate.”
- If a person does not want to lie, but is not ready to share the truth, then he will not give a direct answer to the question (for example, he will laugh it off or say something sarcastic).
- Premature excuses also indicate that “something is wrong.” If someone begins to explain in verbose terms why he remembered this or that detail, when no one has asked him about it yet, the matter is unclean.
- A person who tells the truth tends to change the tempo and volume of his voice. The tempo quickens and the volume rises. The liar's story can rather be called monotonous, quiet and often laconic - it lacks detailed descriptions.
- In 90% of cases, lying lengthens reaction time - so that answers to questions become slower, and there are more pauses between words.
With a slight movement of the hand and body...
- Fingers tap their lips, thoughtfully rub their ears - these microgestures can be interpreted as a signal of a lie. Be especially careful when it comes to your nose! Anyone who constantly touches it (unless the nose itches for some natural reason such as an allergy) looks suspicious. When a person lies, the body releases some chemical compounds, which irritate the nasal mucosa, and the nose actually begins to itch.
- Deceivers often unconsciously try to erect a “barricade” - symbolic protective barrier between them and the listeners. If someone, while talking about something, suddenly in the middle of the conversation puts some object between you that is not related to the story (a book, a pencil, etc.) - it looks like he is lying.
- A person who is deceiving usually unconsciously tries to hide their palms while talking.
- Hands touch your hair every now and then (twist curls around your finger, smooth your hair, remove bangs from your forehead) - this person either wants to deceive you or has sexual interest in you.
- “I don’t like you!” the man declares, but at the same time he spreads his arms (for example, leans on the stair railing or the back of a chair), do not believe him. This gesture symbolizes a hug. Don't believe him if he puts his hands behind his belt or puts them in his pockets, unconsciously drawing attention to the genital area. He may not like you, but you are definitely his type.
- “I really like it here, you’re very nice,” says a young man when meeting in a cafe; to check if he’s lying, look at his legs. If the toes of the shoes are directed towards the exit, he is deceiving you.
- “Very interesting, please continue,” says the boss, folding his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair. Don't flatter yourself - what you say doesn't bother him at all.
When facial expressions are at odds with emotions
- In a person who deceives, facial expressions are “delayed.” For example, he says: “Thank you, how lovely” and only then smiles. If someone is truly happy about a gift, they will smile and say thank you at almost the same time.
- An insincere smile is usually asymmetrical, affects only the lips and lasts longer than usual.
There are available methods to help determine whether the interlocutor is sincere or whether he is telling an outright lie. Watching a certain person, physiognomy specialists study his gestures, emotions, behavior, facial expressions and manner of speaking. The most reliable source of information is the eyes. They are the ones who can indicate that your opponent is trying to pass off wishful thinking.
The eyes immediately reveal felt emotions: joy, fun, pain, fear or anxiety.
In society, lying is considered a negative phenomenon; we are taught from childhood that lying is bad, so when people tell lies, they often experience remorse, guilt and fear of being exposed. All emotions and feelings felt during the dialogue are instantly reflected in the eyes. Of course, there are professional liars who get pleasure from how cunningly they can “fog” their interlocutor, but such people are rare, so almost everyone can detect a lie at an everyday level
How can you tell by the eyes that a person is lying?
We can use a technique that determines the ocular access key (if the person is right-handed), which will give us information about the processes occurring in the brain.
Types of views:
- To the right and up - inventing a visual image (possibly deception);
- left and up - memory of visual images;
- to the side and to the left - auditory memory;
- to the side and to the right - auditory construction (possibly a lie);
- down and to the right - recollection of your emotions and experiences;
- down and to the left - strict deliberate control of emotions and one’s speech (possibly a lie).
It turns out a classic deceitful view that describes the following trajectory:
- the man looks up and to the left - retrieving from his memory visual images, on which he will build his deception;
- looks up and to the right - thinks out what and how best to say;
- looks down and to the left - reproduces a lie, controlling the spoken words.
If your interlocutor is left-handed, the types of views may be inverted in the opposite way.
As you know, a liar often experiences feelings of guilt and shame, so he can hide his emotions by averting his eyes or lowering his head down. But it happens that a person understands that he is being diagnosed for lying, so during the conversation he deliberately tries not to look away, constantly maintaining contact with the interlocutor.
How can you tell by the eyes that a person is lying?
A lot depends on who your interlocutor is. If this is a man, it will be easier to identify a lie, since the majority of representatives of the stronger sex do not know how to lie at all. For example, a wife caught her husband cheating. How will he behave? 70% of men will actively refuse, while their eyes will dart from side to side, and their pupils will dilate due to a rapid increase in the amount of adrenaline in the blood. In this case, the spouse will try to refute the situation and change the topic, telling, for example, funny joke. But there will be no place for fun in his eyes; emotional excitement will be reflected in a worried, anxious look that will be difficult to hide. These signs are not absolutely accurate determinants of male lies, and can often mean strong excitement because no one believes him.
Women by nature are more prone to lies, as they often like to exaggerate and fantasize. When trying to convict his wife of the same betrayal, a man will encounter an astonished, calm look, which, however, may mean that his wife is truly faithful to you. It's another matter if the lady is trying to maintain a constant eye contact, looking into the eyes and trying not to look away. This may mean a conscious, deliberate lie. At the same time, the woman tries to be confident, convincing her interlocutor in every way of the truthfulness of her words.
The eyes are truly the “mirror of the soul”, by looking into them correctly you can find out whether a person is deceiving or whether he is telling the absolute truth.