I betrayed my friend and acted extremely basely and basely. She will never forgive me

Why do people behave meanly and what to do about it? Almost every person in life has the feeling that they were treated basely - not according to the rules, not according to justice, not according to expectations. Deceived, betrayed, framed, circumvented - the most fantastic ethical squiggles are possible. The simplest explanation is because people are bad and evil by nature. This explanation can sometimes be comforting, but at other times it can be emotionally traumatizing and promote depression. You might think that some people are bad. This can also be comforting, but an alarming question may arise: why do I come across them?

I want to offer not the most comforting ideas on this matter. More precisely, they do not necessarily console immediately, with just one thought. But over time, they can provide the basis for a more flexible understanding of what happened.

People behave meanly because it is not mean for them. There may be several options:

- The effect of “false consent”. We often overestimate the typicality and universality of our ideas about life. We can believe that our opinion is the only correct one, and all people adhere to it. And if someone does not adhere, then this is a deviation. Whereas for another person this deviation may be hisideas about moral standards - about what is vile and what is not. This kind of thing, no matter how offensive it may be, happens.

- The “actor-observer” effect. A person who commits an act most often explains his actions by the influence of circumstances. And witnesses to this act most often explain his actions by his personal qualities. And what from the outside may look like meanness, from the inside can be perceived as survival in difficult circumstances.

- Choice of priorities and competition of motives. People can violate someone's moral standards in this way, because at this moment it is not a priority for them to comply with them. Other tasks may be a priority - for example, getting out of a situation with minimal damage to yourself. Or survive. Or keep a face. Or do it faster. Or benefit. A person may take place fight of severalmotives - selfish or altruistic, socially desirable or undesirable, personal or professional.

- Centerednesson myself. Often, assessing another person’s action as vile, we automatically believe that our interests are his interests. By acting in accordance with his own interests, which are different from ours, he seems to be betraying you. And it may seem that this action is directed specifically at you. But it may be that we have identified our interests with his. Whereas the other person acted based on his own interests, which were not necessarily related to you. Or, he could understand your interests in his own way and think that he is doing you good.

People behave meanly, despite the fact that for themselves it is mean, but they have reasons for this:

- There are many different value systems and norms that influence a person at different points in time. Each person is simultaneously a member of several different communities, each of which has its own norms. And many people are not always able to combine these requirements - sometimes they have to violate the norms of one community in favor of the norms of another. The most basic everyday example is a husband who drinks after work. He violated the norms of his family community - his wife, mother-in-law and mother, for example. But he followed the norms of the community of male colleagues.

- A person in a difficult situation does not have an accessible “mean” way to react, and the method that he learned a long time ago works. After all, in the social experience of each person there are many models of behavior. This is what we acquired in childhood, at school, at old jobs, in various campaigns. These experiences do not always correspond to official or relevant norms for the individual. They are often subcultural in nature and correspond unofficial norms. Dvorov, for example.

- Conformity effect. As socio-psychological experiments show, most people can be influenced by others contrary to their principles and morals. Under pressure from random company, a person may not behave very well. Later he may greatly regret it and be tormented by his conscience, but at that moment the influence of the group turned out to be stronger.

- The effect of self-justification. There is a concept that people need to hold positive images of themselves - for example, as a decent, intelligent person. To maintain this self-image, sometimes people have to justify their actions by adjusting their ideas of good and bad. Like, I couldn’t do anything bad or stupid, which means what I did was not bad.

I do not pretend to provide an exhaustive explanation of the reasons for various controversial actions - rather, I listed the effects that are known to me, both from experience and from study. I would be glad to add any additional information from your experience. But about how to survive a situation when you were treated basely according to your feelings - to be continued.

Probably each of us has experienced the meanness of other people towards ourselves at least once in our lives. What are the origins of meanness? Let's break it down into components. On the surface lies the generally accepted opinion that lack of self-confidence, complexes, frailty, the “ugly duckling” syndrome, insignificance of personality, coupled with a deformed upbringing, self-conceit and bad character, are the causes of meanness to others. After all, inner confidence does not need external evidence. All the most vile and vile things come precisely from insecure people who go over their heads; they do nasty things behind their backs, anonymously and secretly, fearing direct confrontation; self-realization at the expense of others; always embittered by the world and arrogant. And another reason for meanness is envy and a feeling of annoyance at the successes of other, significant people. An insignificant person will carry out dirty tricks and abominations behind his back, underestimating those to whom he commits these abominations in order to accurately declassify the attacker. And the roots of meanness must be sought in childhood, where the future scoundrel feels a craving for actions on the sly, while no one sees, and his naive comrades do not know how to do this. A “sneaky” child learns this behavior, and it, taking root in the subconscious, becomes the norm of behavior, gradually developing into such a clearly manifested personality quality as meanness. In adulthood, the secretly insignificant person receives a sadistic orgasm in the desire to benefit from his own insignificance.
Meanness and its origins are most fully described in the article by P.D. Kovalev. Online

Almost every person in life has the feeling that they were treated basely - not according to the rules, not according to justice, not according to expectations. Deceived, betrayed, framed, circumvented - the most fantastic ethical squiggles are possible. The simplest explanation is because people are bad and evil by nature. This explanation can sometimes be comforting, but at other times it can be emotionally traumatizing and promote depression. You might think that some people are bad
. This can also be comforting, but an alarming question may arise: why do I come across them?

I want to offer not the most comforting ideas on this matter. More precisely, they do not necessarily console immediately, with just one thought. But over time, they can provide the basis for a more flexible understanding of what happened.

People behave meanly because it is not mean for them. There may be several options:

- The effect of "False Consent". We often overestimate the typicality and universality of our ideas about life. We can believe that our opinion is the only correct one, and all people adhere to it. And if someone does not adhere, then this is a deviation. Whereas for another person, this deviation may be his idea of moral standards - about what is vile and what is not. This kind of thing, no matter how offensive it may be, happens.

- The “Doer-Observer” effect. A person who commits an act most often explains his actions by the influence of circumstances. And witnesses to this act most often explain his actions by his personal qualities. And what from the outside may look like meanness, from the inside can be perceived as survival in difficult circumstances.

Choice of priorities and competition of motives. People can violate someone's moral standards in this way, because at this moment it is not a priority for them to comply with them. The priority may be other tasks - for example, getting out of the situation with minimal damage to yourself or surviving. Or keep a face. Or do it faster. Or benefit. A person may have a struggle between several motives - selfish or altruistic, socially desirable or undesirable, personal or professional.

Self-centeredness. Often, assessing another person’s action as vile, we automatically believe that our interests are his interests. By acting in accordance with his own interests, which are different from ours, he seems to be betraying you. And it may seem that this action is directed specifically at you. But it may be that we have identified our interests with his. Whereas the other person acted based on his own interests, which were not necessarily related to you. Or, he could understand your interests in his own way and think that he is doing you good.

People behave meanly, despite the fact that for themselves it is mean, but they have reasons for this:

There are many different value systems and norms that influence a person at different points in time. Each person is simultaneously a member of several different communities, each of which has its own norms. And many people are not always able to combine these requirements - sometimes they have to violate the norms of one community in favor of the norms of another. The most basic everyday example is a husband who drinks after work. He violated the norms of his family community - his wife, mother-in-law and mother, for example. But he followed the norms of the community of male colleagues.

A person in a difficult situation does not have an available “Nice” way to react, and the method that he learned a long time ago works. After all, in the social experience of each person there are many models of behavior. This is what we acquired in childhood, at school, at old jobs, in various campaigns. These experiences do not always correspond to official or relevant norms for the individual. They are often subcultural in nature and correspond to unofficial norms. Dvorov, for example.

- Conformity effect. As socio-psychological experiments show, most people can be subject to the influence of others, contrary to their principles and morals. Under pressure from random company, a person may not behave very well. Later he may greatly regret it and be tormented by his conscience, but at that moment the influence of the group turned out to be stronger.

- The effect of self-justification. There is a concept that people need to hold positive images of themselves - for example, as a decent, intelligent person. To maintain this self-image, sometimes people have to justify their actions by adjusting their ideas of good and bad. Like, I couldn’t do anything bad or stupid, which means what I did was not bad.

I do not pretend to provide an exhaustive explanation of the reasons for various controversial actions - rather, I listed the effects that are known to me, both from experience and from study. I would be glad to add any additional information from your experience. But about how to survive a situation when you were treated basely according to your feelings - to be continued. Danila Gulyaev.

You're faking it. FALSE is the meaning, definition of the word

To lie, to lie for a long time, to lie, to lie, and why. One lies, the other cheats. Don’t sneak under the arm, knock someone down, enter into a power of attorney by lying | under whom, to report falsely, to slander, to slander maliciously. Sneaking, sneaking, action. according to verb. Sneaky, liar, liar, esp. assenting to another liar, comrade. Undercover paper, signed...

People are vile

MEAN PEOPLE - in Russia in the 18th century. derogatory name for the lower strata of the urban population ... Big Encyclopedic Dictionary

VILE PEOPLE - “VILE PEOPLE”, in Russia in the 18th century. derogatory name for the lower strata of the urban population ... Encyclopedic Dictionary

“VILE PEOPLE” is a term used in certain legislation. acts in Russia in the 18th century. in relation to the tax-exempt classes. Thus, Regulation Ch. magistrate (1721) called P. l. lower layers of mountains. population, found in hire and menial work, i.e. irregular... ... Soviet historical encyclopedia

“Vile people” - in Russia in the 18th century. derogatory name for the lower strata of the urban population ... Encyclopedic Dictionary

VILE PEOPLE - in Russia in the 18th century. non-taxable estates... Russian statehood in terms. 9th – early 20th century

Vile - The word vile in modern Russian has only an evaluative ethical meaning. It contains a negative assessment of the moral properties of something: dishonest, low, despicable; e.g., vile deed, vile character, vile soul and ... History of words

No person is born a scoundrel; he becomes one due to many factors: moral education, the influence of people around him, as well as encounters with betrayal. Being offended or betrayed by someone from his inner circle, he himself becomes a scoundrel and a traitor.

What is meanness? This is, to a greater extent, a manifestation of weakness by a person, the absence of certain moral standards. In the understanding of a scoundrel, actions that bring pain and negative emotions to others are something acceptable and commonplace. However, when caught in a betrayal, frame-up or other negative act, such people usually deny everything. Therefore, meanness in psychology is akin to schizophrenia - like sick people, scoundrels do not accept normal, healthy interaction with society.

Most scoundrels are weak people who use meanness as a defense and a tool to help them assert themselves at the expense of the suffering of other members of society. They betray without feeling any remorse; they extract from a person everything they need to achieve their goals and satisfy their own needs.

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What does Sneaky mean? Today, when capitalism has flourished, only money has become important for a person. Most people believe that it is necessary to take everything from life, and as quickly as possible, without regard to anyone’s interests and desires. Such a person began to deservedly be called Vile, what this word means, you can read a little below. Don’t forget to add the site fashionable-slova.rf to your bookmarks so that you can easily decipher the most popular words.
However, before continuing, I would like to tell you about a few more popular articles on random topics. For example, what does OuKB mean, how to understand the abbreviation OuKS, who is called the Sole Proprietor, what is Nonconformity, etc.
So let's move on, what does Sneaky mean? This term comes from Old Russian, which was previously borrowed from the Polish language "рodłу". Originally used in the meaning of “common people”, “socially low”.
Vile - this is what they call a person who is morally low

Synonym of the word Vile: brute, scoundrel, scoundrel, radish, scoundrel.

Mean people. Verse: About meanness

About meanness
Conscience, nobility
and dignity -
Here it is, our sacred
army.
Give him your hand
Don't worry about him
and into the fire!
Bulat Okudzhava

I got a friend the other day
asked a question
How do I feel about life?
to meanness and malice.
Not simple. Thought about it
seriously,
Like the hour of my answer
struck during confession.
Say it's meanness
I do not like -
Doesn't mean anything.
I can't stand people like that
and, moreover,
I'm trying to be mean
envy, evil
Nip it at the roots
initial,
So that pain to people
didn't carry
Didn't burn my heart
sadness...

I think such entities
That they spray evil like poison,
You can't call them people,
The word "bastards" is appropriate.
They live only for this
And immensely happy
When they do evil on the quiet,
Some people are getting on their nerves.
They slander vilely behind your back,
Gossip spreads like mucus,
Gloatingly waiting for such a moment,
To inject the last poison.
From those who, in spite of anger,
Strong with love and kindness,
Who won't give his hand to a scoundrel?
Disgustingly he will close the entrance to the house,
Who speaks eye to eye,
Who is sacredly faithful to friendship -
For vile souls they are a thunderstorm,
They will run cowardly into the crack,
not at the door...

I know the truth is simple -
Everything boomerangs
in our life,
Fate and the weight of her cross
Commensurate with your strengths.

Statuses about meanness

This behavior should be avoided whenever possible, but some people simply cannot avoid the temptation to do something like this because that is how they are wired. Statuses about meanness show how bad this quality is and what problems it can bring. Smart statuses make it possible to understand how it is desirable to act in certain situations, as well as to slightly shame those people who are inclined to behave inappropriately. Excellent statuses, a selection of which are presented below, make it possible to understand the real essence of this concept.

Only a woman can tolerate constant manifestations of meanness from a man and cannot say “No” to him.

Law of meanness of childhood number 1: they just started playing an interesting game at a party when the parents were already getting ready to go home.

Sometimes you meet people who can do mean things in such a way that everything will reveal them to be once decent people.

Apparently I’m growing up, because from the same category, for example: “How could you cause such a dirty trick?” I move on to another: “What kind of meanness did he do to me?”

Best status:
According to the law of meanness, your most beloved and dearest person lives in another city hundreds of kilometers away from you. I hope this is how love is tested.

If you know that you can do something big, why waste yourself on small dirty tricks?

Any meanness is easy to understand and justify, but it would be very stupid to forgive it...

According to the law of meanness, if you have a boyfriend, then a couple more people are running after you. All you have to do is break up, and no one needs you.

As soon as you eat some onions, a handsome guy immediately invites you for a walk.

Video Alex Shevchenko - Vile people in our lives

Aphorisms and quotes about meanness

The world is full of decent people. You can recognize them by how clumsily they do mean things.
Charles Peguy

If a person acts like a swine, he says: “For mercy, I’m just a man!” And if they treat him like a swine, he exclaims: “Excuse me, I’m also a human being!”
Karl Kraus

Alexander Vampilov

If you want to offend a less than educated person, do not call him a scoundrel; better say that he is poorly brought up.
Samuel Johnson

“I’m a small person!” - he said and hit below the belt.
E. Westin

The man who bites the hand that feeds him usually licks the boot that kicks him.
Eric Hoffer

He who is incapable of anything is capable of everything.

Major villainies are made out of hatred, small ones - out of fear.
Charles Montesquieu

They are especially ashamed of meanness if they failed to complete it.
Alexander Furstenberg

The world will be treated by our meanness.
Arkady Davidovich

Meanness in war is cunning, and cunning in peace is meanness.
Gennady Matyushov

When doing meanness, do not refer to time. Remember that time can take its toll on you.

The world is coming. And our old-fashioned meanness can't stand the competition.
Arkady Davidovich

The wisdom of the cunning is meanness.
Mikhail Libman

Everything decent is rash, everything thoughtful is meanness.
Alexander Vampilov

Meanness is a shorter path to positions that are usually given as a reward for valor.
Tacitus

Don't look for scoundrels. Good people commit mean things.
A. Vampilov

A scoundrel, and sometimes a fool, more often succeeds in society than a decent and intelligent person: it is easier for scoundrels and fools to adapt to the tone and habits of high society, where, as a rule, only meanness and stupidity reign, while decent and sensible people do not immediately find they have a common language, and therefore they lose precious time and are left with nothing.
N. Chamfort

Scoundrels are the strictest judges.
M. Gorky

Scoundrels are successful in their affairs because they treat honest people as if they were scoundrels, and honest people treat scoundrels as if they were honest people.
V. Belinsky

Quite recently, I personally encountered such a sophisticated form of a person as meanness. I don’t want to believe that meanness takes place in this world. But such a quality of human nature as meanness is not such a rare phenomenon today. It has existed probably as long as humanity has existed. People have been mulling over this face of man for centuries. It's sad, but it's a fact. But I definitely declare that grieving because of scoundrels is simply an unaffordable luxury. The meanness I lived through added to my experience, added inner strength, confirmed me in some ways, and gave me a new perspective on others. This is all that I think she should leave behind in us. And not stay with us all our lives as a constant reminder of human meanness.

The basis of human meanness is immorality, envy and greed. Namely, conscience and shame are fertile soil for morality. And the basis of morality is the desire for good. Meanness is the oblivion of moral laws for the sake of momentary selfish gain. To commit meanness is a morally low, dishonest act of a person towards someone. And even love cannot be an excuse for meanness. True nobility and morality must have a voluntary beginning, be the dignity of a person, and not a forced fulfillment of the moral requirements of society.

We are ashamed of poverty, but we are not ashamed of meanness. And many even believe that this is their strength. Committing meanness in order to continue living to please himself. Meanness is a sign of stupidity and cowardice. Doing mean things to others is undeniably admitting your weakness. Therefore, just as the strong can endure a lot and endure a lot, the weak will do anything. And meanness is not the least important thing here. Therefore, I firmly say that meanness is a sign of weakness, not strength. And if they are born fools, they become scoundrels.

What is meanness. I'll try to explain it to you. This is a change or even destruction of what is common, often between close people, with the aim of causing harm to another person. Common things can be connections, nature, family, property, work, moral values - anything - the main thing is that it is common. A person who commits meanness most often counts on what has become common. General - generally accepted in society. A negative influence on someone, behavior that undermines the moral attitude towards the person with whom he communicates. Meanness, I want to say, is a sharply negative moral characteristic of human behavior associated with the expression of contempt. Therefore, meanness is always a kind of crime against society.

Once upon a time in Rus' there was such a public execution. A man in the cold, naked, was doused with cold water until the poor fellow froze completely. So, the person who constantly poured water on the unfortunate person was called a scoundrel. It’s not for nothing that I mentioned this now. Just think for a moment what motivated this person, what feelings he has and what feelings he is completely deprived of.

The most dangerous enemy is not the one who “shoots at you point blank.” This is the one who sneakily stabs you in the back, pouring out love.

Sometimes you can kill just with a word. A seemingly simple word that carries deadly power. The word is a powerful weapon. This is something that cannot be seen and prepared in advance. Each of our words with which we address others has its own soul and emotional coloring. Much depends on what words we choose for communication and whether we know how to use them. After all, it’s not only weapons that you can pick up that kill, it’s a bad word and a bad deed that kills, it’s indifference that kills, it’s cowardice and meanness that kill.

Have you encountered meanness? Are you in pain? And you really, really wanted to respond in kind? Not worth it! By responding to meanness with meanness, you will not achieve anything good. If you respond to meanness with meanness, you will lose respect for yourself. And, if you committed this bad act, even in response to meanness, in the form of defense and defense of yourself, then who are YOU now? I'll tell you that meanness is like rust, followed by corrosion of the soul. True success cannot be built on deception, betrayal and meanness, harming others. And in old age there is often no success, no friends, no respect. And first of all to yourself. After all, paying in the same coin means sinking ourselves to the same level, the lowest level of meanness. Ignore the evil of meanness so as not to give it the opportunity to take root in your soul. Don't let her become a resident of your heart. Let its owner delve into his meanness and think about it and please it. Don't waste yourself and your precious time of joy on this. Be taller.

You know what they say: “If a person feels pain, he is Alive. If a person feels someone else’s pain, that means he is a Human!” Meanness is an obstacle on the path of spiritual development. She is a very insidious nuisance. Its cunning lies in the fact that not a single scoundrel recognizes himself as such. By the way, one of the traits of patients with schizophrenia. And I also want to note that schizophrenia, like meanness, is associated with duality. A vile person or scoundrel lives under a guise. He constantly hides his real self, but at the same time does not consider this state of affairs to be meanness. For such a person it is absolutely normal to live with people who put their soul into him and disagree with them in their views or not accept something about them. A mean person will live in such a situation and take what he needs until he takes everything. Then, like a sucking bug, it falls away from its victim and leaves meanly and suddenly.

We can talk about meanness, about betrayal, and be indignant. But, I’ll tell you from my experience, the scoundrel will immediately start talking about freedom and his rights, which are allegedly being taken away from him and are being encroached upon. Such people greatly value their “imaginary freedom,” which in fact is for them the right not to be responsible for anything and to step over everything and everyone.

It is impossible to negotiate anything with scoundrels and expect sincerity. Expecting sincerity from them is a crime against oneself. You can't ask them anything. More precisely, it is possible, but it will not give you results. They cannot be returned to the agreements that they entered into with you, looking with their “pure” eyes into yours. They take everything they need from you and then throw you away as if nothing happened between you. No friendship, no trust. While someone writhes from the pain of their betrayal, they dance on their bones, calling those on whom they spilled their meanness immoral and crazy.

Of course, of course, it is better not to have anything to do with a vile person and not to allow them close to your soul. Let them in, they will devour, spit out and move on, to look for another who will also be fascinated by them and put his soul into them. Scoundrels are always amazingly charming at first glance. With an equally startling discrepancy inside. If you see a scoundrel in his true form, you will not recognize his face, he is a different person. And sometimes we lose our vigilance because of smiles and false kindness. It is impossible to recognize the meanness of a person without touching his meanness. Unless... A scoundrel sees a scoundrel from afar. Without fail, he distinguishes “one of his own.” Such a person can only remove his mask in the presence of someone like him. One can only admit how many dirty and vile deeds are committed, so to speak, from the heart.

These people always make excuses for not showing their true colors. Still, be on guard for your soul. Make her work. Be attentive to your life. But, but again. Treating everyone with suspicion is also absolutely unnecessary and wrong. Careful and careful is what you need.

The scoundrels definitely need to ruin that place and those people whom they just sucked and betrayed. This is their need. Only then do they rejoice in their black victory of humiliation. As long as those around them are to blame, they can sleep peacefully. That is why, when leaving, they so abundantly throw mud at the place from which they have just exhausted the strength for themselves, with their poisonous anger. Often this poison of meanness corrodes and weakens people. After all, meanness is as if a person was called to a fight and his hands were tied.

The great Maxim Gorky said: “Personal egoism is the father of meanness.” And I absolutely agree with this. What else can move a person so confidently over the corpses of hearing and seeing the pain of others, if not his perverted egocentrism. Evidence is that when a person acts like a pig, he screams “For mercy, I’m just a man!” And, if they treated him meanly, he exclaims with complete innocence on his face, “Excuse me, I’m also a human being!” And, if selfishness is the father of meanness, then lack of will and worthlessness are the sisters of meanness.

Meanness, as you know, has no nationality; it is characteristic of all humanity. And I'm so sorry! When, of all the feelings that belong to a person, the sweetest one can experience is the pain and suffering of others.

Envy is the other side - meanness. Both feelings are born from the desire to have something that does not belong. A person carefully hides his envy and therefore resorts to meanness. This is expressed in slander in the name of fulfilling one’s desires. There is an expression such as: “The end justifies the means.” It is equivalent, I think, as if a person’s goal is to become a SCOUT. The depravity of meanness cannot be corrected by purity of purpose. Because meanness is the only vice that so stubbornly resists the Divine. Everyone else is easily converted to goodness. Meanness does not have an animal grin, but a human face.

A scoundrel, definitely a very selfish person. Of all the vices that degrade a person’s personality, selfishness is the most vile and despicable. It is selfishness that makes one behave so vilely and basely towards people. Scoundrels often achieve their goal through self-pity.

They are not comfortable watching the endlessly happy faces around them. The presence of a huge desire to bring your poison as quickly as possible, in order to remind those around you of a reason to grieve, is simply overwhelming. Their peace is smaller around complacently happy faces. Therefore, pushing into the pool of sadness, just because you are there yourself, is very, very mean.

Scoundrels do not tolerate criticism. But to condemn someone, and to savor as much as possible the meanness they have committed in public, gives them incredible pleasure. And also get pleasure from the aftertaste of collecting the fruits of the sown meanness, seeing a person with a broken heart and soul. Scoundrels are not the strictest judges, as Maxim Gorky once wrote, they are cruel judges. Observing pain and suffering, and internally rejoicing, this is not severity, this is cruelty. And, if in the name of an ideal a person commits meanness, then what is the price of this ideal...

For people who do not have meanness in their nature, scoundrels are given in order to, as it were, remove the veil of a childish view of life and the world around them, learn to see the falseness of charm, learn to value themselves and not betray their interests and values. Remove from yourself the desire to shift responsibility, remove servile service to decency and much more. Living with scoundrels contributes to growing up and maturing. Scoundrels, like manure, fertilize the soil on which souls ripen. This does not mean that we need scoundrels so much and that without them being in our lives we are unable to change and improve. But, since they exist in our society, let’s turn everything that comes to us for our good.

But. What should the scoundrels themselves do? Is it possible to cure this disease? I will answer. Meanness is not a disease. I firmly declare this to you. Meanness is a choice. Therefore, the battle against meanness always begins with a choice. In fact, everything in our life begins with a choice. The choice to live with dignity. A person at any moment can choose dignity instead of meanness and live as an individual with the name MAN. But the scoundrel doesn’t change anything, because living vilely is very beneficial to him.

Living vilely is very profitable, you don’t have to answer for anything. Questions flow from vile people like water off geese. These people leave behind traces of tracked tanks. Behind them everything is always lifeless, like in the desert. At the same time, they are always right and always offended by something. They remain trapped in their meanness for quite a long time. Until they are left completely alone in their empty life. Until they have no strength left. Until they lose everything in their life. And it always comes down to this. The mean life is amazingly losing. You want to beat everyone, but you end up losing. Life teaches scoundrels very painfully. Scoundrels, I would even say “mentally frozen” people. People without feelings. Since it is mean to act, they need not to feel that they are causing pain to people. They need not to notice that someone is emotionally invested in them. They need not to think that they owe anything to anyone. They prefer not to notice the spiritual contribution of other people and step over their feelings, calling it freedom to live their own lives. I definitely want to say that a scoundrel is a person who once doubted himself and considered himself small and worthless, unable to take the place intended for him and follow the path outlined for him. Meanness is a choice, to consider yourself unworthy, and to live near your true place. As a rule, there is always someone whom the scoundrel blames for his choice. These are people who did not support him in a moment of self-doubt. In a word, those who underestimated him. Revenge on such people becomes the meaning of their lives. And therefore, this underestimated feeling of him as a person constantly encourages him to spend his efforts on changing the opinion of himself in the eyes of others, raising his self-esteem to the highest level. Scoundrels always live under a guise, because this gives them the opportunity to feed on and destroy those whom they hate so vehemently.

People capable of meanness are possessed, so to speak, by “black” passion. Their negative energy is capable of poisoning the lives of others, even if no specific actions are taken against the person. Sometimes they are excellent manipulators who can make you feel guilty about your luck, achievements and even your happiness. It is difficult for them to understand, rather they even refuse to understand that everything you have is thanks to your perseverance and aspirations, your faith and sincerity. But people consumed by envy and ready for meanness will always find an unflattering explanation.

Most often, people humiliate you when you have something they don't have or when your behavior hurts them in some way. In most cases, they feel uncomfortable and disadvantaged around you.

Meanness, just like revenge, resentment and envy - all these are negative feelings of energetic fear for something, for oneself, before something. Fear that destroys a person with thoughts built from these feelings. The creator of energetic fear is the person himself, therefore only the person himself can rid himself of such feelings. Remember, meanness is a choice. Your choice.

There is a phrase: “Meanness, like sincerity, is universal.” There are a lot of reasons for meanness, even down to the fact that you live in this world. Scoundrels will never forgive you for your success in anything. They will not miss the opportunity to assert themselves at your expense. Noble motives and feelings are not characteristic of them. Intentionally or unintentionally, they always bring evil to those who are in one way or another close to them. Qualities such as sincere gratitude, compassion, faith in goodness, morality and nobility are simply alien to them. They have their own ethics, where only what is beneficial or pleasant to them is good. Irresponsibility, pettiness and anger are often at the core of their nature. I would even say they are bearers of “barnyard” morality. And they always bring suffering to people, especially those who love them. Those who sincerely have love for scoundrels are especially defenseless against their psychic attack of aggression. Meanness is not as harmless as it sometimes seems. This is not just a spoiled mood or wounded pride. Sometimes meanness strikes hard in the most vulnerable place and causes pain and suffering for many years. Everything is used - an ironic smile at the right moment, and market shouts... These craftsmen will always find the exact word or gesture to confuse or humiliate someone who is weaker. After all, there is always someone who is forced to depend on us. And besides, there are also religious, ethnic and sexual groups. The bad thing is that such people have every opportunity to hurt your pride and humiliate your dignity. Meanness looks so creepy only as long as a person does not want to see his meanness. Once the meanness is exposed, you can work with it. As with any other obstacle. Yes, but who can muster up the courage to see this in themselves. Probably only those who are tired of SEEMING strong, beautiful, smart, sincere, who are tired of coveting someone else’s things. Only those who have decided to actually come into line with the image that they carry in their soul and accept HIS place in life can see the meanness in themselves.

If any of you are like that, then you will understand that this article is not for some abstract scoundrels. This article is for you. Meanness is the choice of little people. Under the guise of modesty and the ability to keep a low profile, meanness is encouraged in our culture. In my opinion, the criteria for meanness are determined differently for everyone. God grant that we all have these criteria too high, so that we are honest at least towards ourselves. Let's start with ourselves, and the world will be transformed. Believe me.

I can’t help but return to the beginning of my article: “Meanness is a very insidious obstacle. Its cunning lies in the fact that not a single scoundrel recognizes himself as such.”

I can firmly tell you, learn to control yourself. Learn to accept everything easily, without slowing down moving forward. Do not believe in the power of their meanness and its influence on you. Don’t believe it, and then such people are not scary to you and are no longer able to cause you suffering. Remember - the main defense against their destructive influence is the ability to spontaneously and sincerely express your own feelings. You just need to learn to show restraint and self-control. Although sometimes this is not at all easy to do. But it is extremely important. Carry calm and confidence within yourself. Always respond to meanness and contempt by maintaining your self-esteem. Because if we respond to any meanness with the same meanness, then who will we then become like? I’ll tell you again, it’s not a big deal to serve an ungrateful person. It doesn’t matter to give a piece of good from your soul to someone who has committed meanness. When you meet these dishonest people, you often try, willy-nilly, in your soul to straighten them out. Edit them or something. Scoundrels, these are actors. But no matter how skillfully one hides oneself under a mask, this “mold” in the soul cannot be hidden and hidden, just like donkey ears. You know, I’ll tell you that meeting meanness is always a turning point in your life.

Meanness is always hidden behind the truth. The scoundrel's weapon is half-truth - half-lie and certainly an attempt to create public opinion convenient for his lies. Communication with scoundrels must be ended immediately, without fear of highlighting the rot of his soul, not to break down from the insult inflicted on them, but to fight for your good name, with a kind word and prudent deed.

What is meanness? What can resist her? Revenge? Mind? Force? Something else? In these circumstances, you need to make every effort to stay away from this person, maintaining a distance. Try to avoid any contact with him altogether. Under no circumstances should you poison yourself with thoughts of revenge. This will not fix it, but will put you on the path of self-destruction. To cope with the difficulties that have arisen, we need to do everything differently... completely differently. Analyze everything that happened, draw conclusions for yourself. Take strength from this experience. Get stronger. And move forward, continuing to build your bright future. At least try, try, treat people better than they treat you. Believe me, this always stops a scoundrel.

You should not perceive kindness as weakness, rudeness as strength, and meanness as ability to live. I want to assure you that we move to a higher spiritual level of development when we begin to treat others better than they treat us.

Errors are the punctuation marks of life, without which, like in the text, there will be no meaning. Of course, the best fight is the one that didn't take place. But ignoring and getting out of the way is not a solution to the problem. It will not change anything. This will not reduce the amount of meanness. And besides, this is your path! They crossed your path, they came into your territory. Going out of your way...is not advisable. And act like an adequate person. But, again, what and how is up to you to choose.

If it just so happens that you are connected with this person through work, business or family. In such a situation, try to exert maximum influence on him. In the hope of helping him realize that he is behaving inappropriately. It is advisable to go with him all the way to change his worldview for the better in order to help him develop a scale of values that is as close as possible to the one based on high spiritual principles. Try with him, kindly, but with all seriousness, to analyze several of his unworthy actions. Be sure to demonstrate that alternative behavior based on high spiritual principles in the cases you analyzed could only bring benefit not only to those people with whom he acted vilely, but also to himself. Convince him that he is able to cope with the internal forces that push him to ungrateful acts.

What I have offered you here just now is not very simple! This way of fighting meanness is obviously quite difficult. But, in many cases it leads to success. And success in such a matter, by the way, will have a beneficial effect not only on the person whom you have convicted of meanness, but also on the one who seeks to help him change his behavior and improve his life.

I want to emphasize that before developing your behavior strategy, use the recommendations outlined above. It is necessary to once again analyze with utmost attention the behavior of the person whom you considered vile in order to understand how true his guilt before you is. How correct you were in your initial negative assessment of his behavior and actions.

Remember that one word can change your decision. One feeling can change your life. One person can change you. All this is very healthy and beautiful if it all carries light and goodness. If this is not what makes us human and elevates our values of morality and ethics, I will say unequivocally, gentlemen, draw your conclusions. Because to be called a human being is the highest title of humanity and must be earned.

If we talk about ensuring protection in advance and preparedness for the next attacks of meanness from the outside, then it is hardly possible to do anything and protect yourself. It is wrong to live in endless anticipation of meanness coming into your life. Be ready for her. The human race is inventive, brilliant ideas for presenting meanness have not yet dried up. But this does not mean that we must live every now and then in anticipation of meanness and fear of experiencing suffering again. Always expect good things. After all, you never know what forms meanness will take in a given situation. If only you were ready for it at least every minute. Therefore, all this is quite abstract.

The disgusting thing, of course, is that when you open your soul to a person, and in response they spit. It hurts even more when it is a close and dear person. Sometimes people immediately begin to look for at least some excuse for meanness. And when they don’t find it, it hurts even more. There remains the hope that he may feel ashamed or touch the pain of your soul. But if scoundrels reacted to the pain of another or felt shame, they would not have the ability to create meanness. After a couple of such cases of meanness touching your soul, a persistent desire not to trust people often awakens.

I think many have experienced meanness. And at such moments they probably thought that they never expected meanness from this man. Anyone but him. There was no way they could admit that he was capable of such a thing. He or she was your friend, perhaps your best friend, or grew up together or even more brother or sister. And then they betrayed me like this. Like a snake and a fox in one body. Cunning and mean. Rather, at such moments, many are filled with hatred. I would like to return the favor. But the most disgusting thing is the feelings that you experience, this is hatred and the desire for revenge. Disgusted with myself and my feelings. Feelings for a person you truly loved and respected.

And no matter how painful it may be, we often receive a knife in the back from people we love and are close to. And again, I’ll tell you, you don’t need to close yourself off from the whole world and live the gray life of a hermit - a recluse, just so as not to experience any more guise of meanness. Learn to trust no matter what. Learn to love people independently. Whatever happens in your lives, let it make you stronger, let it force you to change, let it stimulate you to do something bright, let it start something new. Think about what he lost by betraying you.

I want to warn you that if you receive a blow from meanness, do not under any circumstances begin to look for vices and disadvantages in yourself. Don’t pull the blanket of guilt all over yourself. There is no need for this endless “why”.

Understand that no matter what happens, there are always many wonderful and bright people around. Don't lose hope for the best. There is always your choice. Much depends on your inner mood. It's no secret that our thoughts are material. So the more often you think about bad things, the more often they will happen to you. Learn from optimists, they laugh at all troubles, and they stop happening to them. Much in our life depends on our attitude towards something. And what we choose, good or bad, good or bad. Which definition we choose is up to us. What name will we give to the circumstances? This is our choice. Remember, we choose.

We often talk about the beauty of the soul and its fulfillment. Let's each clarify for ourselves what makes it so beautiful. Meanness is what we use to so disfigure our souls. Ugliness is what grows inside us: it is meanness. Why do we never mention the ugliness of the soul when talking about its beauty? I think ugliness is not an external indicator. This is what we are filled with. That is, what we fill ourselves with, what we build ourselves from and what we decorate ourselves with, so to speak.

Think about what your thoughts and statements are based on. What is your worldview and sense of the world. Don't be lazy to think. Make your souls work day and night. Listen and accept yourself. Listen and feel the world. In this world, everything happens according to the boomerang principle and everything always comes back. Show your superiority not with revenge and meanness, but with your nobility, faith in goodness and hope for the best. And let meanness, regardless of anyone and in any form, if it does touch you, mobilize you, make you stronger and force you to concentrate on your life.

I want you to remember that the meanness committed is, first of all, the meanness of the scoundrel to himself. First of all, he betrays himself and his soul. Never argue with a fool. Believe me, the scoundrel harmed himself much more than all of us who have ever experienced meanness by betraying us. Focus your gaze on the positive. Because positivity attracts positivity, and vice versa. So the choice is yours and that’s all.

Do not declare war on everyone and everything in the fight against meanness. This will only make her appear on your path more often. Do not idly waste your potential, do not violate your harmony. Don't waste your energy. It’s much more productive to perceive everything with a bit of humor and not consider it your failures.

What you should absolutely not do is create a negative scenario in advance for any possible upcoming situation. Otherwise, you will get what you ordered for yourself, so to speak, concentrating on the worst. Isn’t it better to cultivate the bright and kind in yourself?

Let me remind you of one amazing thing. Meanness does not affect children the same way it does adults. Children are much less susceptible to its influence. If troubles happen to them, they do not attach much importance to it and continue to live their normal lives. Adults often expect a trick from life and are so immersed in their experiences that they themselves attract troubles that they do not want.

Strive to expand, increase, improve. Live in harmony with yourself. Don't change yourself. Do not betray yourself by committing meanness. Meanness specifically characterizes a person. Do not respond to meanness with meanness. Do not become a carrier of such a dirty quality of your humanity. Always take time out after an incident to make wise decisions.

When you wake up, paint smiles on your faces. Dress yourself in happiness. And this is the only way to go outside from the house. This is the only way to start your new day. Charge yourself with positivity. In fact, it is not so difficult, and the important thing is that you can draw positivity from everything that surrounds you. Life is the kindest teacher. Love her. And she will certainly smile at you. Don't be a bystander in your life. Become its builder. Fight within yourself for faith and inner peace. Never get lost in another person's shadow. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion and protest. Find your own path. Find an approach to yourself. Understand what is going on in your head and in your heart. If something happens, do not isolate yourself, it is extremely dangerous.

Do not overdo it. Sometimes it’s worth stopping for a while to regain your strength. Be brave and respect yourself as an individual. Take it easy and love what you do. I would really like each of you to become the master of your soul and your time. Learn to stop in time when you reach your desired goal. There is no need to strive to get everything at once, even the most positive and kind things. Don't scatter yourself and dissipate your strength. I would advise you to learn to adapt to any situation you expect.

Finally, I would like to sincerely wish you. Live at the center of your life, not on the sidelines of others. Love yourself! Believe in your own strength. It is very important what we become, because in the end, we are left alone with ourselves...

What could be more valuable than Love and Trust...