No one is immune from meeting two-faced people. It is especially unpleasant if these are your colleagues. After all, such people can not only cause negative emotions, but also harm your career. As a rule, the teams of which such employees are a part are characterized by high competition and pressure between employees, constant gossip and a low level of cooperation. We suggest finding out what other signs indicate that you should not trust your colleagues.
Envy
We have all met people who are haunted by the success of others. It is especially unpleasant if the envious person is your colleague. After all, they believe that other people undeservedly receive the boss’s praise, are considered better workers, and their work is paid higher. If they are not stopped in time, your relationship with them will become strained, which is unlikely to have a positive impact on the atmosphere in the team and the quality of work. Experts advise trying to convince such a person that you yourself envy him in one aspect or another. In this case, he is unlikely to turn his negativity in your direction. However, in any case, it is advisable to try to stay away from such people.
Dishonesty
That's a good reason not to trust your colleagues, isn't it? If you regularly catch someone lying or appropriating the results of someone else's work, then this person can be called dishonest. Keep in mind that even if it doesn't directly affect you, such people have already proven themselves to be unreliable. Therefore, in the future, do not rely on such employees, because you cannot entrust your interests to liars.
Gossip
Sitting
Surely you have come across or heard from friends about people who are ready to do anything to curry favor at work. As a rule, picking on colleagues starts small. So, they can begin to pass off other people's ideas as their own. Or they might accidentally forget to email you a meeting invitation, causing you to miss an important event and be reprimanded by your boss or client. If you notice such signs in your team, then you need to be extremely attentive and careful. First of all, you should know that these people behave this way because they are afraid of you. They consider you a real threat to their career. Therefore, try to ignore them as much as possible: do not try to build friendly relations with them and do not share important information (of course, within reason). Also, don't hesitate to report any provocations on their part to your boss.
Suck up to the boss
Of course, a good relationship with your boss is extremely important. However, some people go too far to gain favor with their superiors. At the same time, they become real suckers, instead of focusing on achieving real results in their work. Such colleagues should not be trusted. After all, they are capable of anything to become the boss’s favorite. What to do if there is a sycophant in your team? Experts recommend simply ignoring it and hoping that your boss is smart enough to understand which employees are truly valuable.
Overdramatic
You've probably met people who behave as if they were characters in a television series or reality show. Sometimes it can even be funny, but not if we are talking about a work team. Such employees can simply be called toxic. After all, at work you probably don’t have time to listen to their complaints and worries. So just try to avoid participating in discussions about their dramatic lives.
Lack of attention to work-life balance
Such people, as a rule, do not want to harm your career. However, you are unlikely to like it if your manager or colleague is confident that you are ready to sacrifice your personal life for the sake of work. Of course, sometimes we have to stay late at the office or take on additional responsibilities. However, this should not become the norm.
Everyone has different teams at work. Someone is lucky to work among good, decent people, where everyone is friendly. And someone, unfortunately, ended up in a real terrarium where envy, competition, meanness and other unpleasant phenomena flourish. But even then you need to survive and continue to work, because it is not always possible to quit and get a new job. And everything is completely bad if, compared to others, you look too purposeful, persistent or talented. And if, despite all this, you still play favorites with your superiors, beware. You could simply be eaten alive. But don’t panic - there are always ways to neutralize envious colleagues.
1. Wedge by wedge
Do they envy you for far-fetched reasons? Then give them a real reason to be jealous, but remember Coco Chanel's saying: "The cat doesn't care what the mice say about it." Think: maybe if they envy you so much, you are really better than your colleagues? And, accordingly, they deserved a higher position. So collect your list of achievements, new brilliant ideas and go straight to your boss with a corresponding request.
2. Ignore
If you can’t even dream of a promotion yet, use a simple but effective method: ignoring. Complete and absolute. To do this, of course, you need to have some skill and hardening. But remember: everything that does not kill us makes us stronger. Continue to do your best job, remembering to convey positive information about your work achievements to your superiors before it is distorted by envious people.
3.Lead
If it just so happens that you find yourself in the ambiguous situation of being the “chef’s favorite,” try becoming a mediator between your bosses and the team. Lobby with management not only your interests, but also the requests of your colleagues. This can help earn the role of “informal leader.” And you will find yourself in an advantageous situation when you will not cause such strong envy, because you were able to please “both yours and ours.”
4.Try to make friends with your colleagues
First, be cheerful and positive. Secondly, always offer all possible help, both in collective matters and in personal ones. If people know that they can turn to you with a request, and you will always help out, that you are a kind and cheerful person, perhaps “black” envy will turn into “white”. That is, they will not envy you, but will say that such a good person deserves success in his work.
5. Retreat is not a loss.
If the situation is really sad, but you don’t want to quit, you can try to transfer to another department. However, you should not tell everyone about the reasons for the transfer. And try to analyze your behavior in order to understand what caused the envy of your colleagues in the previous team. Perhaps you have been bragging and flaunting your achievements too much? Then don’t repeat these mistakes in the future and try to start everything from scratch.
6.Conspiracy
If it is not possible to fight the very attitude of your colleagues towards you, make sure that they at least cannot do something mean to you. Don't let anyone know exactly what you're working on, what stage you're at, etc. Lock folders and files with codes, set a complex password on your computer and lock it, even if you leave your workplace for just a minute. And don't chat about your work with any of your colleagues.
7.Don't complain
Never resort to complaining to management. This will only make matters worse. After all, no one likes sneaking anywhere, and management also doesn’t really want to solve problems as a team, even if you are an innocent victim. Also, do not stoop to the level of envious colleagues - their methods, such as meanness, gossip and other nasty things, are not for you. Even if you are surrounded by a terrarium, it is better to look from above at the small reptiles that swarm at your feet than to join them.
Ecology of consciousness: Psychology. Until you clearly and carefully understand other people's praise or flattery, you should not take their words seriously. Behind all these compliments there may be secret intentions towards you.
“Envious people are a problem for others, but at the same time they torment themselves.” - William Penn.
There is nothing worse than having achieved success and realizing that the people around you are not proud of you, but rather cultivate envy. Moreover, a jealous attitude can provoke extremely unkind actions, especially when it comes to your achievements.
8 Signs That Someone Near You Is Envy of You
Psychologist Stephen Stosny says that feelings of envy “make you think about the same thing over and over again, and the more you do it, the further away you become from reality. Emotions create the illusion of confidence, and envy makes you confident in your perception of the world.”
Each of them had to experience this unpleasant emotion. It's not easy to feel like other people are jealous of you. We tend to control our own feelings, but we cannot control the emotions of others.
The ability to recognize signs of envy will help you get out of an unpleasant situation without losses.
1. People give you insincere compliments.
When people start to envy you, the first thing they usually do is compliment you. They can sound both quite sincere and with secret malice. However, if you leave the room for a minute, they will immediately start rolling their eyes.
Most likely, envious people would rather pretend that they are not jealous than directly express their emotions. The only way out that will help in this situation is to sincerely praise the envious person when he really succeeds in something. This behavior will help people see you as a good and sincere person and curb their envy.
Ph.D. and clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer says:
“Until you clearly and carefully understand other people's praise or flattery, you should not take their words seriously. Behind all these compliments there may be secret intentions towards you. This way, you can minimize the possibility that their seemingly sincere compliments may actually turn out to be nothing more than two-faced attitude."
2. Your success is not taken seriously.
No matter what you have achieved or how hard you have to work to achieve your goal, your envious people will always act as if you were just lucky.
Master M. Farouk Radwan said:
“The people who envy you the most are the ones who need what you have the most.”
You shouldn’t follow their lead; most likely, this will only provoke negative conversations about you. Keep yourself in control and don't lose confidence. You should not show off your success in front of envious people, as you will only increase the negativity towards yourself.
3. Show off their achievements.
Envious people, as a rule, tend to show off their success, and to a greater extent than they deserve. Such people try to show off even more at the very moment when you are celebrating your own achievements. As a rule, envious people are quite capable of announcing their engagement right at your wedding.
What makes them do this? Most likely, they are not as successful as you.
Bob Bly says:
“In our world there are always people whose heads are filled with negative thoughts. And not necessarily about those they envy, but also about themselves, their perceived inability to achieve their goals."
Such people can only think rationally about their behavior when they are upset. Try expressing your sincere praise for what they themselves have achieved. In order to change the way a person behaves, it is best to show him how to do it by example.
4. They imitate you
People prone to envy subconsciously want to seem better than you, or try to imitate you. In order to feel better about themselves, such people may imitate your communication style or clothing style.
Instead of getting upset, try to encourage them to follow their path. Try to encourage them when they try to do something on their own. Show them that you don't have to imitate you to be yourself.
5. They compete with you
Envious people are characterized by a constant struggle for leadership, because they are in a constant pursuit of success.
Psychologist Melanie Greenberg writes that such people “they can be dangerous, or they can be too arrogant and want to seem better than others”.
Nevertheless, you may have a desire to put the envious person in his place. If they try to get into an argument with you about a promotion at work, It’s best to stick to this phrase: “I’m not competing with you”. If you don't follow their lead, they will lose interest in competing with you.
6. They rejoice at your mistakes.
An envious person always rejoices when you fail at something or when you receive a reprimand. And although such people may hide their true feelings from you, in their hearts they are always satisfied with your defeat.
Be completely calm about your mistakes! It's never too late to tell envious people that we all learn from our mistakes. If you don't show your frustration, your envious people won't be able to enjoy your failures.
7. They gossip behind your back.
Envious people always manage to discuss you secretly. This is not funny at all, since they tend to spread very ugly rumors. The best way to stop such people is to confront them directly.
“People’s negativity is a kind of wall. Concentrating thoughts only on the negative, as a result, can start the mechanism. Negative emotions, anger and feelings of self-doubt are guaranteed to win. Your consciousness will follow what your attention is focused on. Criticism and negativity won’t stop you from achieving your goals, but they can definitely distract you from it.”
Since envious people are generally not hostile, a serious conversation may be enough to get them to think about it and stop spreading rumors.
8. They hate you for no reason.
If people hate you for no reason, most likely they are just jealous of you. Realizing that we are hated by others when we are doing nothing wrong can be a very difficult experience. It is quite possible that you will have a desire to please your envious person. However, you may not succeed. In this case, it is better to simply remove such a person from your life.
You don't need this negativity, and most likely, envious people themselves suffer due to the fact that they unjustifiably hate others. Just let these people go.
Envy is a very difficult situation for each of us. A person may have a desire to tell the envious person everything he thinks about him. However, calm and positive behavior will be the best way to solve the problem, both for you and for your envious person.
Envy and bad thoughts can make a hole in the energy field and cause a lot of trouble to the person at whom aggression is directed. To protect yourself from negative impacts, you should use proven methods.
The success of some often provokes unbridled envy and aggression of others. More fortunate people often suffer from such attacks, which have an impact not only on self-esteem, but also on physical health. To get rid of such aggressive influence, it is necessary to take certain protective measures.
Method one: keeping secrets
Envy often arises among those who have heard rumors about your success. Choose the tactic of silence and do not tell anyone about your achievements. You can share your next joy only with trusted people who will not tell the details of your life to others. However, there are people who are not shy about asking personal questions in hopes of getting the secret of your success out of you, and then gloating behind your back. Your task is to prevent them from throwing you out of balance. Answer questions calmly and follow their tactics. When curiosity goes beyond all limits, use the same technique and start asking uncomfortable questions that will simply confuse your opponent.
Method two: amulets and amulets
You can protect yourself from bad words and thoughts with the help of a lot of amulets. They are easy to do yourself by saying the usual thing for personal protection. The use of stones and minerals also helps strengthen the energy field and prevents negative energy from taking advantage of your weakness. And to consolidate the result, you can perform a simple ritual that will help rid your home of unwanted guests who disturb the favorable atmosphere of your family nest.
Method three: protective cocoon
Every morning, do an exercise that will help you create an additional energy shell that will relieve you of the anger of envious people. To do this, after waking up, you need to stand facing the Sun, take 15 deep breaths and exhalations, imagining how you are surrounded by a transparent protective cocoon. Having visualized this protection, you will physically begin to feel like you are in a shell that does not allow the surrounding negativity to penetrate.
Method four: magic ritual
Write on a piece of paper a list of those from whom you expect a dirty trick. Light a church candle and say the words of the prayer “I Believe”. After your feelings return to normal, try to understand why others are haunted by your life. Don't blame them, but forgive them. Leave the punishment for their malice to the discretion of the Higher Powers. Say the words of the conspiracy:
“I forgive my ill-wishers, I don’t hold grudges, I don’t ask for forgiveness. As the candle burns out, their anger towards me melts away. With the last drop of wax I lock away all my anger and send it to be torn apart by the wind. The ashes will scatter throughout the world, anger will disappear from the world.”
Burn the leaf and scatter the ashes to the wind with the words: "I forgive you."
Method five: active protection
Sometimes it is worth showing aggression in order to protect yourself from the attacks of ill-wishers and envious people. They feel weak and inflame themselves even more in the desire to take revenge on you for their mistakes and failures. Don't give them that chance. Never expose your back to your opponent’s gaze—look him straight in the eye, remaining calm. Most likely, after the storm of emotions of your ill-wisher subsides, he will lose interest in you and go in search of a new victim. Often the main damage to the biofield is caused by energy vampires, who simply need to bring you to strong emotions in order to enjoy your pain and humiliation. Be stronger than that. Once you show persistence, you will get rid of such a person once and for all.
To prevent negative thoughts from depressing you, use positive affirmations every day. A happy person rarely pays attention to gossip and rumors. By learning to cope with yourself and your emotions, you will close your energy field from any aggressive influences from the outside. We wish you happiness and good luck, and do not forget to press the buttons and
03.05.2017 07:12
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If you are successfully climbing the career ladder and make your bosses feel proud of you, then you are very unlucky. No matter how much accolades you deserve, no matter how much effort you put in to be on top, you will still be the envy of your peers. And if you are also a newcomer who stubbornly makes your way through the thorns of the daily work routine to the top of your career, then the sidelong glances of the old-timers will make you stumble, and the gossip of the girls from the accounting department will make you blush. Let's talk about how to overcome envy at work.
First of all, remember one truth - if you are burned by the envious glances of your colleagues, then you are on the right track. If they envy you, there is a reason for it. So don't be upset. Consider the unkind glances of your colleagues as a compliment to your success.
On the other hand, if the team has “questions” for you, if you have lost their friendship because you have become more successful, then get ready for war. Of course, no one will set you up directly. But there will be people who like to quietly “do dirty tricks.”
If you want to change the situation in your favor, then you have only one way out - stop working. Return to the crowd of colleagues, become a gray mass, stop taking initiative and provoking your superiors to compliment you. Then all passions will subside, and there will be nothing to envy.
Don't you like this scenario? Then we bring to your attention some tips on how to learn to live in a group of envious people and benefit from it.
1. Try to be part of your team, do not highlight your abilities, do not brag, do not create the impression that you are two heads taller than other colleagues. Believe me, your boss knows this even without intrusive advertising on your part.
2. Do not react to teasing from colleagues; remember that the teasing is caused by your successes.
3. Participate in conversations with colleagues. They should know that you are an ordinary person, you have a family, hobbies, interests. You also chafe your feet with uncomfortable shoes and hate traffic jams. You shouldn't be too frank, but you shouldn't be secretive either.
4. Be tactful. Know that it is better not to talk about certain topics with some people. For example, you should not tell about your child’s pranks to an employee of Balzac’s age who does not have a family. Or praising your mother-in-law’s pies in the presence of your “always losing weight” colleagues.
5. Don't brag about your successes, rather complain about your failures. Don't let your colleagues know how good you are. If you talk about how you have disobedient children (even if this is not true), an evil mother-in-law, and in general, everything is not as chic as it seems, then your colleagues will rejoice at your achievements. And, really, let everything work out for you at least at work!
6. If your relationship with one of your colleagues has become strained, you should call him for a frank conversation. But it’s best to spend it alone, in a calm environment. Ask your opponent what exactly irritates him about you, what makes him go into conflict. Perhaps his candid answer can point you in the right direction. After all, there is no certainty that you are doing everything right.
7. Don't forget to compliment your workmates. Notice their strengths, ask for advice, ask for their opinion. Be friendly.
8. Maintain the traditions of the team. If you have a habit of celebrating birthdays together, then celebrate important events with your colleagues. Treat them to something delicious for tea, try what they treat you with.
9. If all these tips have no effect on your colleagues and they continue to envy you, then under no circumstances slow down your work activity. Well, you are not very lucky with your colleagues, but this does not mean that you are unlucky with your job. Continue to advance your career with the knowledge that you have done everything possible to improve relationships within your team.