We often wonder how to convince a person? How to convince him that you are right? how to convince him that it will be better this way. Quite often, the positive result of any business directly depends on the ability to convince a person that you are right.
It is a pity that we acquire the ability to persuade people in the process of life, and not from the cradle. Pretty hard convince a person something he doesn't believe in. Therefore, to be more likely to convince, you need to practice more. Before answering the question “How to convince a person?” you need to correctly argue this or that situation.
As they like to say: “You cannot force a person to do what he does not want.” Actually it is possible. You just need to try really hard for this. 
The skill of persuading a person is useful in all areas of life: at work, at home, in leisure.
Great way to persuade- this means telling the truth, looking into the eyes and not gesticulating. Calling him by name will help convince a person. This will endear the interlocutor to you and your requests. After all, everyone likes it when they call you by name. You can use pet names. This skill makes a person like you much more strongly. The person becomes like an “open book” and it is much easier for you to win him over.
How to convince a person that you are right and quit smoking
The best way to persuade- these are explanations. It is rare that your interlocutor will agree with your solution to a problem only after asking a question. When convincing a person that he is right, that he is wrong, or in quitting drinking, you must explain to him all the positive aspects of the decision made, the negative aspects, and only after that give him the opportunity to choose.
It is more difficult to convince over the phone, because you cannot look at the person (which allows you to better win the person over), the interlocutor cannot understand whether you are lying to him or not. The phone changes its voice a little. Therefore, even if you tell the truth, your interlocutor, on the other side of the phone, may think that he is being lied to and will not listen further. But if they trust you, then convincing a person of anything will not be difficult.
Everyone should have the skill of persuasion. After all, how else can you persuade your boss to raise your salary, or how can you force your husband to quit smoking? This opportunity will help you in all your endeavors.
How to convince a person not to drink anything
No matter how much a person is interested in studying this skill, this science will probably never be fully studied. Each time, in response, new blockers of this art are studied. That is, no matter how much you can convince a person, situations will happen when either you will not succeed, or someone will counterattack, and you will simply accept his point of view of some situation.
In order to be a master of this matter, you need to practice more, study literature on this topic and try to lie to others as little as possible. And before insisting on your point of view, answer yourself: “Is my position correct?”
We also recommend reading the book: Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People. How to develop self-confidence and influence people through public speaking. This book will help you learn how to convince any person.
psycho- olog. ru
Quite often, the success of your business depends on the ability to convince the right person and influence him so that he accepts your point of view. Unfortunately, the skills and abilities of how to convince a person do not come to us “with mother’s milk”; we need to learn this.
Persuasion itself is the ability to influence directly a person’s consciousness. The point is that through arguments you must first obtain agreement from your interlocutor, and then transform it into an attitude that suits your goal.
Every day we encounter people who have a different point of view from ours. Our task is to convince them and transfer them to our side to achieve their goal. This is not an easy task, but it is quite doable.
5 main rules
Respect a person's boundaries:
The ideal distance for conversation is 20 - 30 centimeters. By coming closer, you will invade the intimate area, thereby irritating your opponent. You will no longer be able to convince such a person of anything.
Use nonverbal communication.
They subconsciously attract a person. But if they are used incorrectly or excessively, gestures can, on the contrary, repel. During an important conversation, avoid crossing your arms over your chest, keep them open, turning your palms towards the interlocutor. These gestures indicate your openness and sincerity.
Contact by name.
The most pleasant word for every person is his name. A person seems to enjoy hearing others pronounce it. So don't forget to address them by name, and do it often (just don't overdo it).
Ask "open questions."
They should begin with the words: who, what, how, when. Such questions force you to give full, detailed answers. The more a person talks, the more relaxed and “approachable” he will be.
The rule of three yeses.
If a person answered “yes” to the first three questions, then the likelihood that he will agree to the fourth doubles. Make sure that the decisive offer is in 4th place. This will increase your chances of a positive result.
There are many more ways to develop your ability to persuade people. If you really want to achieve the result you want, take action.
Methods of persuasion
- Ask your interlocutor about the availability of time before you start persuading him. This way you will emphasize the importance and your respect for your opponent and his free time.
- Persuade in an unpredictable, beautiful and interesting way. Get interested in your speech. Psychologically, it is much more difficult to refuse an eloquent person. Don't forget to use polite words. Be sure to express your gratitude after achieving the desired result.
- Remember your winning smile and your charisma. This way people will listen to you, thinking little about the essence of the conversation and accepting your point of view. A good mood will always help you achieve your goal.
- Before you begin your persuasion, do something for the person. It will be more difficult for him to refuse you, since there will be a slight feeling of guilt and debt to you.
- Try not to be obvious in your persuasion. Let the person come to the right thought on his own.
- Try to build communication in such a way that the person does not understand that you are persuading him into something.
- Be psychologically prepared for failure. As practice shows, if we are calm about a negative answer, we hear positive ones more often. Think about it, because the world will not cease to exist because of a negative decision of some person, even a very important one.
- Focus on honesty. She can disarm anyone. Sincerely admit that you simply need to persuade your interlocutor for your own benefit. Many people, with such openness, agree and go to the person’s aid.
- Know how to stop in time. Don't become annoying and boring. It is practically impossible to achieve the goal this way.
Almost every person should have the ability to persuade people. At a minimum, in order to convince the husband to throw out the trash or dissuade his wife from buying another expensive fur coat.
Now you know how to learn to convince people. Try these methods in practice and see their effectiveness.
Today on the blog: How the psychology of persuasion works, psychological techniques of persuasion, how you can convince another person, or, if you like, the art of persuasion.
(see psychological games)
Greetings, dear blog readers, I wish everyone mental health.
Psychology of human persuasion - impact on consciousness
The psychology of human persuasion is based on the fact that, when persuading, the speaker influences the consciousness of the person being persuaded, turning to her own critical judgment. The essence psychology of persuasion serves to clarify the meaning of the phenomenon, cause-and-effect relationships and relationships, highlighting the social and personal significance of solving a particular issue.Convictions appeal to analytical thinking, in which the power of logic and evidence prevail and the persuasiveness of the arguments presented is achieved. Convincing a person as a psychological influence should create in a person the conviction that the other is right and his own confidence in the correctness of the decision being made.
Psychology of human persuasion and the role of the speaker
The perception of persuasive information depends on who is communicating it, how much an individual or the audience as a whole trusts the source of information. Trust is the perception of a source of information as competent and reliable. A person who convinces someone of something can create an impression of his competence in three ways.
First- begin to express judgments with which the listeners agree. Thus, he will gain a reputation as an intelligent person.
Second- be presented as a specialist in the field.
Third- speak confidently, without a shadow of doubt.
Reliability depends on the manner in which the persuader speaks. People trust a speaker more when they are sure that he has no intention of convincing them of anything. Those people who defend something that goes against their own interests also seem to be truthful. Confidence in the speaker and confidence in his sincerity increase if the one who convinces the person speaks quickly. Fast speech, in addition, deprives listeners of the opportunity to find counterarguments.
The attractiveness of the communicator (persuader) also affects the effectiveness of the psychology of persuasion of a person. The term “attractiveness” refers to several qualities. This is both the beauty of a person and the similarity with us: if the speaker has either one or the other, the information seems more convincing to listeners.
Psychology of human persuasion and the role of the listener
People with an average level of self-esteem are the easiest to persuade. Older people are more conservative in their views than younger people. At the same time, attitudes formed in adolescence and early adolescence can remain for life, since the impressions acquired at this age are deep and unforgettable.
In a state of strong arousal, agitation, and anxiety of a person, his psychology of persuasion (compliance with persuasion) increases. A good mood often promotes persuasion, partly because it promotes positive thinking and partly because it creates a connection between a good mood and a message. People in a good mood tend to see the world through rose-colored glasses. In this state, they make more hasty, impulsive decisions, relying, as a rule, on indirect signs of information. It is no coincidence, obviously, that many business issues, such as closing deals, are decided in the restaurant.
Conformers are more easily persuaded (easily accepting the opinions of others) (test: Personality Theory). Women are more susceptible to persuasion than men. It may not be particularly effective psychology of persuasion in relation to men with a low level of self-esteem, who are acutely worried, as it seems to them, about their uselessness, alienation, who are prone to loneliness, aggressive or suspicious, and not stress-resistant.
In addition, the higher a person's intelligence, the more critical their attitude to the proposed content is, the more often they assimilate information but disagree with it.
Psychology of human persuasion: logic or emotions
Depending on the listener, a person is more convinced either by logic and evidence (if the person is educated and has an analytical mind), or by an influence directed to emotions (in other cases).The psychology of persuasion can be effective when it influences a person and causes fear. This psychology of persuasion is more effective when they not only scare with the possible and probable negative consequences of a certain behavior, but also offer specific ways to solve the problem (for example, diseases, the picture of which is not difficult to imagine, are more frightening than diseases about which people have a very vague idea ).
However, using fear to persuade and influence a person cannot cross a certain line when this method turns into information terrorism, which is often observed when advertising various medicines on radio and television. For example, we are told with enthusiasm how many millions of people around the world suffer from this or that disease, how many of the population, according to doctors, should get the flu this winter, etc. And this is repeated not just day after day, but almost every hour, and It is completely ignored that there are easily suggestible people who will begin to invent these diseases in themselves, run to the pharmacy and swallow medications that are not only useless in this case, but also harmful to health.
Unfortunately, intimidation in the absence of an accurate diagnosis is often used by doctors, which goes against the first medical commandment “do no harm.” At the same time, it does not take into account that the source of information that deprives a person of mental and psychological peace may be denied trust.
A person is more convinced by the information that comes first (primacy effect). However, if some time passes between the first and second messages, then the second message has a stronger persuasive effect, since the first has already been forgotten (recency effect).
Psychology of human persuasion and the way information is received
It has been established that the arguments (arguments) given by another person convince us more strongly than similar arguments given to ourselves. The weakest are those given mentally, somewhat stronger are those given to oneself out loud, and the strongest are those given by another, even if he does it at our request.
Psychology of persuasion. Methods:
fundamental: represents a direct appeal to the interlocutor, who is immediately and openly introduced to all the information that makes up
the basis for proving the correctness of the proposal;
contradiction method: is based on identifying contradictions in the arguments of the person being persuaded and on carefully checking one’s own arguments for consistency in order to prevent a counter-offensive;
"draw conclusions" method: arguments are not presented all at once, but gradually, step by step, seeking agreement at each stage;
"chunks" method: the arguments of the person being persuaded are divided into strong (accurate), medium (controversial) and weak (erroneous); They try not to touch the former, but the main blow is dealt to the latter;
ignore method: if the fact stated by the interlocutor cannot be refuted;
accent method: emphasis is placed on the arguments presented by the interlocutor and corresponding to common interests (“you say it yourself...”);
two-way argumentation method: for greater persuasiveness, first outline the advantages and then the disadvantages of the proposed solution
question; it is better if the interlocutor learns about the shortcomings from the persuader than from others, which will give him the impression that the persuader is unbiased (this method is especially effective when persuading an educated person, while a poorly educated person lends itself better to one-sided argumentation);
“Yes, but...” method: used in cases where the interlocutor provides convincing evidence of the advantages of his approach to resolving the issue; first they agree with the interlocutor, then after a pause they provide evidence of the shortcomings of his approach;
apparent support method: this is a development of the previous method: the interlocutor’s arguments are not refuted, but, on the contrary, new arguments are presented
in their support. Then, when he has the impression that the persuader is well informed, counterarguments are given;
boomerang method: the interlocutor is given back his own arguments, but directed in the opposite direction; arguments "for" turn into arguments
"against".
The psychology of persuasion is effective when:
1. when it concerns one need of the subject or several, but of equal strength;2. when carried out against the background of low intensity of the persuader’s emotions; excitement and agitation are interpreted as uncertainty and reduce the effectiveness of his argumentation; outbursts of anger and swearing cause a negative reaction from the interlocutor;
3. when we are talking about minor issues that do not require a reorientation of needs;
4. when the persuader is confident in the correctness of the proposed solution; in this case, a certain dose of inspiration, an appeal not only to the mind, but also to the emotions of the interlocutor (through “contagion”) will help enhance the effect of persuasion;
5. when not only one’s own is proposed, but the argumentation of the person being persuaded is also considered; this gives a better effect than repeated repetitions of one’s own arguments;
6. when argumentation begins with a discussion of those arguments on which it is easier to reach agreement; you need to ensure that the person being persuaded more often agrees with the arguments: the more assents you can get, the greater the chances of achieving success;
7. when an argumentation plan has been developed that takes into account the opponent’s possible counterarguments; this will help build the logic of the conversation and make it easier for the opponent to understand the position of the persuader.
The psychology of human persuasion is appropriate then:
1. When the importance of the proposal, the possibility and ease of its implementation are shown;
2. When they present different points of view and analyze forecasts (if they are convinced, including negative ones);
3. When the significance of the advantages of a proposal is increased and the magnitude of its disadvantages is reduced;
4. When the individual characteristics of the subject, his educational and cultural level are taken into account and the arguments that are closest and most understandable to him are selected;
5. When a person is not directly told that he is wrong, in this way one can only hurt his pride - and he will do everything to defend himself, his position (it is better to say: “Perhaps I’m wrong, but let’s see...”);
6. When, in order to overcome the negativism of the interlocutor, they create the illusion that the proposed idea belongs to him (to do this, it is enough just to lead him to the appropriate thought and provide him with the opportunity to draw a conclusion); do not parry the interlocutor’s argument immediately and with apparent ease, he will perceive this as disrespect for himself or as an underestimation of his problems (what torments him for a long time is resolved to others in a matter of seconds);
7. When in a dispute it is not the personality of the interlocutor that is criticized, but the arguments he gives, which are controversial or incorrect from the point of view of the person persuading (it is advisable to preface the criticism by admitting that the person being convinced is right in something, this will help to avoid his offense);
8. When they argue as clearly as possible, periodically checking whether the subject understands you correctly; arguments do not draw out, as this is usually associated with the speaker having doubts; phrases that are short and simple in design are built not according to the norms of the literary language, but according to the laws of oral speech; use pauses between arguments, since the flow of arguments in monologue mode dulls the attention and interest of the interlocutor;
9. When the subject is included in the discussion and decision-making, since people better adopt the views in which they take part;
10. When they oppose their point of view calmly, tactfully, without mentoring.
This concludes the review of the psychology of human persuasion; I hope that the post was useful.
I wish everyone good luck!
Hello, dear readers! We have to convince people in different situations: at work, at school, in our personal lives. Remember the last moment when you had to communicate with a person to win him over to your side. Was it easy for you? If you are reading this article, then most likely you have failed. But it is so important to know how to persuade a person correctly. But this skill can be easily learned. Therefore, today I want to talk about how to convince people in various life situations, what should definitely be emphasized and what should definitely be avoided.
If you want to master the skill of persuasion perfectly, then you cannot do without this book: Robert Cialdini " Psychology of influence. Convince. Make an impact. Defend yourself" It is she who reveals this topic in its entirety, in understandable language; it provides clear and simple examples with which you can easily learn to convince anyone.
Power of persuasion
The ability to force a person to accept your position is extremely useful in various areas of life. Persuade. Arrange with your lover to go to the cinema. Make a friend go on a diet together and so on. In all these situations, it is extremely important to understand how best to influence your interlocutor in order to win over your opinion and push him to take the actions you need.
If things are extremely difficult for you today, don’t be upset or worry. This is a skill that can and should be developed every day, albeit in small portions. Start small and work your way up. Of course, you most likely will not be able to perform complex techniques right away, because this requires experience. This is why I caution you against haste.
What does it mean to convince another person? Give the necessary arguments, show an example, make you think in such a way as to direct the person’s actions in the direction you want. It is extremely important to understand the real beliefs of the person himself.
Remember that all people do only what brings them material, mental or moral benefit. This is exactly what your actions should be aimed at. Show the person the benefits he will receive.
The process of persuasion depends on many factors. You need to win over just one person or an entire group; you are trying to negotiate with your boss or your girlfriend; in front of you is a person or friendly regarding your idea. All this requires completely different tactics. Let's look at each situation in more detail.
Persuasive speech
I want to start with preparing the speech. When you need to make a presentation on a new product to clients, or convince the board of directors about a new direction for your business, or speak impressively in front of an examination committee. All the principles given below can be useful to you in a personal conversation, when you need to win over just one person to your side.
The first principle is your understanding of the essence. In order to convince many, to win over the majority, you need to clearly understand your intentions and goals. If you are unsure of your belief, it will be immediately obvious.
You don’t have to just prove, you have to show the beauty of your idea and the benefits for the audience you are speaking to. You will gain more trust if people see your confidence and determination.
The second equally important point is the structure of your speech. A poorly prepared speech will leave behind only a bitter aftertaste and disappointment in the speaker. Therefore, it is extremely important for you to learn how to plan your speech correctly.
How to structure a performance? First comes the introduction. It should be short, concise and indicate the essence of your further speech. You can immediately set a serious tone or start with a joke, which will give the speech a lighter and more relaxed format.
After the introduction comes the main part. Pay special attention to the way you speak. It's just as important as what you say. Persuasive speech should be clear, easy to understand, logical and coherent. Don’t fuss, don’t try to cram as many examples, evidence and arguments into your speech as possible. Focus on two or three of the strongest and backed up by authoritative sources.
Break your speech into small blocks. Information is better absorbed in short and precise expressions. Don’t be afraid to ask your audience questions and feel free to answer your questions. But be careful, improvisation has its pitfalls. Therefore, try to think in advance what questions you may be asked.
And if you really have to improvise, then for preparation you cannot do without the article “”.
In conclusion, briefly restate the entire speech with the main points, and make the main statement, which should motivate people to take certain steps (buy your product, enroll in courses, etc.).
Useful tricks
Now let's talk about what tricks you can use to convince a person in a personal conversation.
When you speak, watch your tongue carefully. The same information can be presented in completely different sauces. I invite you to think about the following two phrases: “I have no money” and “I am currently experiencing a little financial difficulty.” How do you see the difference in these phrases?
When you win a person over to your side, try to use emotionally charged words. A meager and lackluster argument, even if it is well supported, will cause much less response than an emotional speech.
When you talk to a person, you can use gestures and facial expressions to gain more trust from him. This is done in a simple and simple way - take his pose. When we look like a person, he subconsciously feels sympathy for us and trusts our words more. You can find out more about body language in the article “”.
In the psychology of persuasion, there is an excellent technique that marketers use everywhere - creating a visible deficit. We all want to have something unique and special. Therefore, when a limited edition of a product is released, the store is bursting with queues.
A useful example of long-term persuasion is exchange. In order to get what you want from a certain person, give him something. For example, lend a drill to your neighbor, give your boss tickets to the opera, give it to your friend. By such an act, you oblige the person to repay you good for good. Don't overdo this technique.
Always remember to be honest and open. People are more inclined to trust someone who does not hide anything, is friendly and smiling. It is difficult to agree with someone who is gloomy, mutters something under his breath and does not evoke positive emotions in general.
The “three yes” technique. Start the conversation with two questions to which the person will definitely answer positively: the weather is good today, yes; As I see, you are a little tired today, right? After this, the person will be inclined to answer the third question positively.
Never forget about the benefits that a person will receive by agreeing with you. You need to convince him not that he just needs to act a certain way, but how much good he will get from this action.
Touch sometimes works wonders. A light pat on the shoulder, a gentle touch on the arm, elbow or forearm. All this will help you establish a closer relationship with the person. Try not to overdo it with such gestures. Firstly, each person has his own comfort zone, read about this in the article “”, and secondly, your gesture may seem intrusive and will only push you away.
Be attentive to your interlocutor, speak briefly and to the point, praise the person, focus on the benefits for the person himself, do not push if you see obvious disagreement.
How often do you have to convince people? Is it easy for people to agree with you? What might influence you to decide to change your point of view to the opposite one?
Train and practice. Only then will you be able to hone this skill to perfection.
Best wishes to you!
Logic doesn't help prove you're right.
It is impossible to convince most people based on logical constructions. A typical conversation is like this:
Interlocutor 1: Agree that AAA.
Interlocutor 2: Agree.
Interlocutor 1: Agree that BBB follows from AAA.
Interlocutor 2: Agree.
Interlocutor 1: Agree that BBB.
Interlocutor 2: Agree.
Interlocutor 1: Agree that from BBB and BBB follows YGG.
Interlocutor 2: Agree.
Interlocutor 1: You see, we have proven YGG.
Interlocutor 2: No, you deceived me somewhere.
In many cases, people’s conviction of something is not based on logical chains. But certain beliefs are associated with a whole network of actions already taken and words spoken. Changing a belief means admitting that a considerable number of your previous steps were wrong. People generally don’t like to admit their mistakes, and they especially don’t like to do it publicly. It's easier to question the laws of logic.
It is impossible to argue in a dispute
If you want to convince someone, never argue with him. A dispute involves both sides expressing their positions. This is very bad. If a person has formulated and expressed his position, especially publicly, in front of other people, it will be very difficult to move him.
The public dispute stands apart. It could be a TV debate, or it could be an argument between two guys in the company of a lovely girl. The purpose of such a dispute is not at all to convince the opponent, but to make an impression. Then it is also necessary to choose arguments that are understandable and pleasant not to the opponent, but to the audience.
A person must convince himself, and you must help him
The most effective way of persuasion is to bring a person to the desired conclusion, so that he himself decides, and preferably publicly declares, the position you need. Then he will become the most ardent supporter of the idea, he will defend it and justify it more than you.
How to do it? There are two ways. One is honest, the other is not very, but effective.
The honest way is to ask questions, studying the views and dogmas of the interlocutor and gradually approaching the goal. A person must come to the right conclusion himself. This process can be very long. It is not immediately possible to find the basis on which the conviction will be built. Some ideas that seem obvious to you are simply unacceptable to other people. Often you have to make quite a few attempts, at first unsuccessful. If you see that the chosen tactics do not lead where you planned, stop the conversation, think about your questions at your leisure, and find a new path. By conducting such conversations, you will study your interlocutor well, and gradually you will definitely find the right words. This belief is a typical example of a project that requires thinking, planning, execution with periodic monitoring of the result and adjustment of the plan.
The most important thing is not to put pressure on the person. As soon as you see that the conversation is not working out, stop it, go into the shadows and prepare a new conversation. Under no circumstances should you start an argument. It is very important to keep an eye on this. Having lost control, you can very easily provoke your interlocutor to express an opinion opposite to yours, then the whole matter will fail.
Now about the not very honest method. It also requires studying your opponent. He works well with people who like to argue. First of all, you need to find a person to whom your opponent wants to show off. Next, involve the opponent in a dispute on an abstract topic in the presence of the found person. When the dispute reaches the desired intensity, express an opinion exactly opposite to the one you want to convince your opponent of. He will instinctively take and express the opposite position. After some time has passed, you need to return to the topic several times so that he again voices his supposed point of view to consolidate his conviction. He is yours, now he is the bearer of the desired idea.
Do I need to convince you?
Do we really want to convince a person? Why do we convince?
We want the person to do something. It is not always the case that in order for a person to do something useful to us, he must be convinced. He may have other motives than the belief that this must be done. There will be an article about this soon. If you are interested, Subscribe to the news so you don't miss out. In addition, a person will never do something that is not typical for him, no matter what steps you take. If he spent Saturdays all his life on the couch, then you can take him out into the forest for a walk once or twice, but it is very unlikely to have him go there every week. Set realistic goals.
We want to help a person make decisions correctly or we want to bring positions closer together in order to develop joint decisions. This is where you really need to work with beliefs. But if you really want to help a person, then be prepared to approach the problem with an open mind, consider it from different angles, and discuss it. As a result, perhaps you yourself will be convinced and understand that your interlocutor is right. If you are not ready for this from the very beginning, then you do not want to help the person at all, but are asserting yourself. I already wrote about this above.
Unfortunately, errors are periodically found in articles; they are corrected, articles are supplemented, developed, and new ones are prepared.
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