Our sense of self-worth is influenced by many factors around us in everyday life. Quite often, life tests the strength of our already shaky belief in our own importance. Therefore, how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman is an extremely relevant, important, deep and reverent topic for everyone who is dissatisfied with themselves.
Attitudes towards ourselves are formed in childhood and adolescence, when we begin to gain a deeper understanding of the world and our place in it. Love and confidence stem from self-esteem, and many women, unfortunately, have low self-esteem. Of course, this affects the quality of life. To be truly happy, you need to take seriously the question of how to love yourself. Be responsible for your own life - start correcting the situation immediately.
What is unconditional love?
The term "unconditional love" means "love without conditions." This is the acceptance of a person, which does not depend on any time frame, material wealth or conditions in which we find ourselves.
Love doesn't need a reason. People love you not for your appearance, not for your hairstyle, not for your figure. They love it just like that.
So where to start? First of all, understand what it is to love. Understand who you are. At the beginning of your journey, you need to realize: love is a feeling when we accept ourselves. Completely and unconditionally. With all the advantages and disadvantages. This is a down-to-earth and humble sense of yourself and your life, which has nothing to do with conditional love, which breeds narcissism, selfishness and pride. Love is not pathos, not the desire to prove to others that you are better. This is not even a state of constant happiness and satisfaction with life. Harmony with yourself and your inner world, self-respect in all situations. This is simplicity and modesty. Self-sufficiency. Self-confidence. The ability to truly rejoice and feel the value of one’s own Personality. This is the feeling of ease with which we go through life. This is the way. Movement towards yourself. Continuous process. When you don’t need comparisons, because you clearly differentiate: you are you, and others are others.
To make it easier to understand how to love yourself and be happy, it is important to follow the recommendations of psychologists.
Step-by-step instruction
- Forgive yourself. For bad deeds, for things that didn’t work out. Let go of all grievances towards others and situations in which you were wrong. Get rid of negative thoughts - they pull you down. Be kind to yourself. You've made mistakes in life, and that's okay. Realize this and don’t blame yourself for the failures that have accumulated like a snowball in the hidden corners of your soul. Everyone has the right to make mistakes.
- Accept yourself as you are. Understand: you are an individual, a person. There is no such thing anymore and there never will be. This is a fact that you need to realize and accept, as well as your exclusivity and value in this world. Yes, it's not easy. However, only in this case will you sincerely understand how you can truly love yourself.
- Realize that you are a self-sufficient person. Self-love should not depend on other people. Some people think that it can be obtained, for example, from a man, but this is not so. Love is within us. You just need to get to her deepest strings.
- Learn to see and respect your Individuality. Even with all the weaknesses! Everyone has black and white, but this does not mean that you only need to love the good. Accept the other side too! Love begins with respect for oneself. Appreciate your work, experience, thoughts and actions.
- Strive to become the best version of yourself. Recognize the negative qualities and weaknesses that prevent you from becoming a better person. Correct them. Movement in this direction will bear fruit. Praised odes are powerless if you do not look deep into the soul. Psychological affirmations along with narcissism will give only a temporary effect. If your goal is to get to the very core and know yourself with all your heart, start with the inner content.
- You need to love yourself in any state and mood. Your attitude towards yourself should not depend on this. This value is constant and should not change under any circumstances. Loving yourself only for your appearance is self-deception. Look for the Human in yourself.
- Don't judge or criticize yourself. From a psychological point of view, criticism only brings negativity and self-destruction. It is absorbed into the mind, takes over thoughts and sets you up for failure in the future on a subconscious level. Find words of encouragement and be kind and patient with yourself.
- Don't complain, don't whine. Is there something you don’t like and don’t want to put up with? So take it and change it! Look at the situation soberly, rationally, think sensibly. Respect your mind. Only you have the right to take responsibility for your own actions and results. Nobody likes a whiner. I want to love strong personalities, open, sincere, with kindness in their hearts, who bring joy and positivity to the world, sharing their happiness with others. This is possible provided that Love reigns in the soul.
- Stop paying attention to others and depending on other people's opinions. Don't let it put pressure on you, pass it through the prism of your personal views. Sort opinions and draw personal conclusions. You must have your own clear position on certain things. Therefore, use good and useful sources of information, analyze and feed your mind with the necessary knowledge. Don't tolerate what you don't like. This will not let you get unsettled, but will allow you to love yourself and be confident in your own importance.
- Set goals, achieve, develop as a Personality. This will help improve your self-esteem. By achieving your goals and getting what you want, you will increasingly strengthen your self-confidence. With a strong desire, a person can do anything! Goals will help you believe in your capabilities, point you in the right direction, which will ultimately lead you to victory!
- Don't compare yourself to others. Don't strive to be like everyone else. Such a strategy is doomed to failure and disappointment. The best example is yourself. There are no better or worse people, we are all equal. There are those who believe in themselves and those who don't. So be someone who accepts yourself as you are! There is no need for masks, games, or riddles - they are only appropriate on stage.
- Don't judge or criticize others. Do not allow yourself to think and speak towards others in a negative way. This devastates the soul, takes away energy, accumulates anger and irritation inside and blocks the path to Love. Is this the life you wanted to live? With hatred in your heart towards yourself and others? We often interpret situations through the prism of our views and mood. Don't become a grumpy grandma. Be positive. Your task is to bring goodness and light to the world. What you give is what you will receive.
- Love people. Is it true. With all my heart. Yes, there is no doubt that it is difficult. However, try to see the good in them and focus on their positive qualities. There is one golden rule: accept others as they are without trying to change them. When you love someone and are incredibly happy, you are ready to hug the whole world and all the people around you! So let this state begin with your love for Yourself!
- Spend time in a successful society. Strive for a positive social circle. Hang out with kind and smart people who lift you up, not down. With those with whom you feel happy, cheerful, sunny, loved, who radiate positive energy and do not take away. Avoid grumpy people, those who are always dissatisfied, gossipers, and all those who cause negative emotions and make you suffer.
- Know how to say “no”. Going against your desires means, over time, losing yourself, gaining uncertainty and a decrease in vitality. Don't act against your own desires. This is your life and you have the right to do what you see fit! Have your own opinions and desires. Let others take them into account. Be honest - first of all with yourself. If you don't like something, you don't have to endure it. To be true to yourself means to understand your “I” completely. The ability to refuse will help you respect personal boundaries and truly love yourself.
- Love your body. Realize: wise Nature does not make mistakes. You received your appearance as a reward, so why not accept it? Answering the question of how to love yourself and your body, we can say with confidence: this is only possible through self-care. Play sports. Go for a massage. Eat healthy foods. Take a break from the Internet and television. Spend time in nature more often, feel like an integral part of it. She gave you something special - life. Strengthen your spirit and health. Playing sports and eating a healthy diet is already a significant reason to be proud of yourself!
- Avoid untidy appearance. Our appearance says more about us before we even open our mouth. Untidyness and sloppiness in appearance and clothing are a sign of lack of self-esteem. It is enough to look clean and decent.
- Develop your femininity. Girls are emotional and sensitive, often exaggerate, focusing on little things and flaws in appearance. First you need to understand a very simple thing: ideals do not exist in nature. But there is such a thing as self-improvement. Strive to develop femininity and positive aspects in yourself. When you become more confident in your own irresistibility (without pride, selfishness and pathos), others will be drawn to your inner strength and energy. Fill yourself, develop your feminine qualities. A woman who loves herself reveals an inner feeling of happiness - she “glows”. They say about such people “with a twinkle in their eyes.”
Psychological techniques in practice
And now practical advice and working on mistakes. Your task is to work on your weaknesses, changing them to strengths, overcoming obstacles. The goal is to improve your Personality.
Making a list
Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. In the first, write your positive qualities. The second is what you don’t like about yourself and what you would like to change. Then cross off each negative quality on the list one by one. Tear off this part of the sheet and tear it into small pieces. (By the way, psychologists say that even after such a procedure your soul feels lighter.) Memorize the remaining text and repeat it regularly. For example, every morning or evening. Then make it a habit to add a new word to the list every three days. These simple psychological techniques affect not only the conscious mind, but also the subconscious mind.
We are looking for a reason to be proud of ourselves!
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday. And take small steps every day to improve your own version. For example, you decide to pull yourself together and go to training. Do you know this sweet feeling when, having overcome a bunch of obstacles - laziness, excuses, etc., you went to training? Or, despite fatigue and lack of time, did you complete the required work on time? At such moments we are proud of ourselves! It is these sensations that you need to focus on in the process of increasing self-esteem! Focus on the good things you have already achieved. If you set goals and achieve them, the feeling of satisfaction will never leave you. In the end, learning to value your own efforts, work, and yourself will be much easier.
Self improvement
This is something that needs to be carefully worked on - replacing the negative with the positive. Try to imagine in detail the image you would like to see in front of you. Each of us has weaknesses that would do well to get rid of. For example, you are unpunctual. It’s annoying, it makes you angry, but you don’t do anything to change it and no longer feel dissatisfied with yourself. This means that the new you must learn to control your time and develop a high level of self-organization. And so - with all the qualities that do not suit you.
Psychologists advise writing down your own path to Love on paper. Buy a beautiful diary or notebook to which you will devote part of your time, which will become a friend, assistant and reflection of your own “I”. Write down the changes that happen to you. Start small and see how nice it is to get better!
It is impossible to take and love yourself at one fine moment, when you want it. Let us repeat, this is a constant process, a path to knowing your “I”, a lot of hard work that you need to strive for. Only a feeling of unconditional love for yourself will make you happier and spiritually richer! Being confident is a luxury you can afford! This is the real key to happiness and success!
7 MAGIC RULES
1. EDUCATION
SENSE OF OWN DIGNITY.
When we feel like we're not good enough, we find a reason to be
unhappy, offended, abandoned, guilty, humiliated... This list can be
long to continue. We open the door to our illnesses and misfortunes. Let's
Let's stop criticizing ourselves in every possible way and believe in ourselves. Let's feel like a worthy person.
Let's start respecting ourselves.
2.BE GENTLE AND TOLERANT WITH YOURSELF.
A loving person is always gentle and tolerant. He understands that there is absolutely no
perfect people. Everyone can make mistakes and stumble. A loving person forgives
this continues to love further. Do the same with yourself. If something is not
It turns out right away, be tolerant of yourself. Gradually everything will work out for you and you
overcome all your shortcomings. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Don't be
too hard on yourself. Love yourself as you are: when you make mistakes, when you stumble, when you have shortcomings.
3. LET GO OF YOUR FEARS.
Every person has many different fears. But the most insidious of them is fear -
“they don’t love me.” The stronger the fear of “they don’t love me,” the darker the world is for
person. The stronger the mental pain. Almost all the most serious vices
of humanity are the result of the fear “they don’t love me”: alcoholism,
drugs, aggression, anger, hatred, cruelty. And there is only one salvation -
let go of your fears. MEDITATION
"Let go of your fear." When you let go of your fears, including the fear of “they don’t love me,” the energy of Love begins to flow in your Soul and throughout your entire being like a wide river. Then you can love yourself with all your soul.
4. FORGIVE YOURSELF.
Enough has already been said about forgiveness. It should be added that only a person
who has completely forgiven himself will be able to rise to the next step of his path in
finding self-love. After all, if you haven’t forgiven yourself for something, then you
are still at odds with themselves, i.e. you are not at peace with yourself. At your place
Some complaints remain. In this state of affairs you, of course, cannot
fully accept yourself as you are. You from within will continue
gnawing on a worm. All this negativity weighs heavily on your Soul. She is suffering again.
So forgive yourself completely, ease your Soul.
5. ACCEPT YOURSELF COMPLETELY AND WITH GRATITUDE.
Now that you have lightened your Soul from the burden of unforgiveness and guilt, freed your consciousness from imaginary fears and false beliefs, now look at yourself and the world around you. You see how beautiful the world is, how beautiful our Earth is and everything that exists on it. But the most wonderful and beautiful creation in this wonderful
in the world – it’s you. You are a mystery of secrets, a riddle of riddles. You are the very embodiment of the harmony of life. You have been given this wonderful life. After all, the mere fact that you appeared on Earth, that you live, is a miracle of miracles. So accept your life and yourself with gratitude. Accept yourself completely, completely. With all yours
advantages and disadvantages. Although, I think you have already realized that you cannot have any shortcomings. It's just your personality. Cute and original.
6. RECOGNIZE YOUR DIVINITY.
Now think about your purpose, the purpose of your stay in this world. Remember who you are
glowing energy. Energy of Love, Harmony and Creation. Small piece
Divine Absolute. You need to have the courage to believe in yourself, in your God,
Soul with such strength that no one's objections and prejudices can discredit
my God. Whoever frees himself from fears eliminates the wall between himself and his piece of God – the Soul. And now it remains to take a small step towards complete reunification with your God - with the Higher Self.
7. LOVE YOURSELF.
Now, when you realize that you are really God, when you feel this burning particle of God in your chest - your Soul, then your worldview will completely change. You will be free! Then you will understand that your task in this material world is to experience all kinds of life experiences in love. It is not negative energy that should accompany you in this life. You are the essence of the Energy of Love and Creation. You must learn here on Earth to transform all negativity, all evil into the positive energy of Love. Love yourself and love others. This will gradually become your urgent need: to transform all negative manifestations into positive ones, carrying a charge of love and creation.
All the bad things that exist in this world, in this life, can make us wiser and give us strength if we accept them with love and try to live them with love and turn them into good things.
All the good that is in us is bad learned in past lives.
Your Soul contains only good things.
Your Soul perceives this world through Love. Your Soul understands only Love. After all, this is the energy of Love. Therefore, your Soul has its own views on life and all the events that happen. If the views of your Soul and your consciousness on life do not coincide, then your consciousness will have to
great suffering.
Remember this. Love yourself. Love God in yourself. Live in accordance with the Laws of the Universe - the laws of Love, Unity, Harmony and Creation. And then you will discover unprecedented powers within yourself.
The horizons of your awareness will expand. Your creative success will give you both moral and material satisfaction. Your life will benefit you, people and the planet.
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A more than familiar and real picture: a client comes to a psychologist. Well, let's say, a girl. And right from the start she begins to complain that “I’m ugly, I don’t believe that I can please men and attract them.”
The psychologist looks: in front of him is a girl like a girl. Not Miss Universe, of course, but not the last crocodile either. He clarifies for the last time: “tell me, why do you think that you are ugly?” The girl again bursts into tears and dumps everything on the psychologist: that her personal life at 30 is in complete disarray; and that many times her acquaintances and friends told her that she was even pretty - but she didn’t believe it; and that “I understand everything, but there is some kind of internal barrier in my head...”
The psychologist sighs and understands: the work ahead is long. No, this can be changed - but not in one day. And not for two. It may take more than a year.
And it won't be easy. The fact is that such a girl, firstly, is already excellent at rejecting proposed solutions, devaluing them or not noticing them (after all, her acquaintances and friends told her about her cuteness? But every time she had reasons not to believe). Well, the friends themselves also tried to help in the worst traditions of home-grown psychotherapy, claiming that she “doesn’t feel” what she feels: “It’s nonsense, you’re normal, even pretty, don’t make it up.” Well, that is, she is with her feelings that, they say, “I’m ugly, so no one needs me, and now I’m sad,” and she says, “Yes, this is all nonsense!” Of course, she was offended and felt misunderstood and rejected. After all, she sincerely suffered, even for a fictitious reason! She is hurt, ashamed and offended, and not “nonsense”.
And one more feature of the reaction of loved ones to the experiences of such a person. It begins to seem to those around her that she “invented it for herself,” that “I’m telling her that she’s normal, but she doesn’t believe it. This means that she herself wants to sit in a dung heap. You are the one to blame!"
Yes, indeed, the girl could only organize this hell for herself. And she suffers absolutely seriously. And he constantly feels like a piece of crap in a pile of garbage.
But this is not her fault at all.
It is difficult to understand without being inside her ideas about the world. This design is crooked, but extremely stable, and it can only be sharpened very little, literally, drop by drop.
And the absolute majority sincerely believes: “if she does not take the offered help and support, she is SAMADURAVINOVAT!”
She can't accept it. She has nothing 🙁
Well, imagine: all her life, from early childhood, the girl received only negativity from her parents about her personal and other qualities. Most likely, violence (at least emotional) flourished in the family: the child was humiliated, spanked, and judged low. She brought me a three - “What a fool are you growing into”; she tore her tights on the street - “slob, dirty, what a girl you are!”; I didn’t wipe the dust well - “Who’s going to marry you, you’re armless!”
I can even understand (although not accept) why it is convenient to educate with (emotional) violence. If a child is flattened from childhood, he becomes quiet, quiet, guilty, willingly does everything around the house and meekly listens to everything from mom and dad. A child who has lost his sense of self-worth, lost his personal boundaries and weaned himself from wanting something for himself is CONVENIENT AND OBEDIENT. And what she will ever have with men is generally not mom and dad’s concern. Children three, five, eight, thirteen years old don’t think about it, it’s very slow; but the fact that the child does not want to go to bed or refuses to eat what they give him is already a problem, and this must be suppressed, otherwise it is inconvenient. And they press.
Such children can be bullied at school, but the parents will be completely unaware: the child will be afraid to listen to reproaches once again, but for dad and mom, the daughter doesn’t complain, so there’s no problem. There’s something going on with her classmates, I can hear it out of the corner of my ear, well, she can handle it on her own, her parents are so tired after work that there’s no time for these stupid children’s quarrels, and first-graders can’t have anything serious!
So the psychologist knows that reproaching such a client that she is “at fault” and that she cannot accept help is something like making complaints to a patient in the intensive care ward that he only eats through a tube: well, I can just eat regular food There is? I don’t disdain either sausage or lard? Why on earth this grated apples and special food? Why is this around? him dance with special food according to the regime?
And this one needs it. He cannot (yet) do otherwise. You have to be careful with him.
Here, by the way, is an example from Russian classics: I was re-reading The Brothers Karamazov, and Dostoevsky perfectly described the scene with Captain Snegirev. Well, this is the unfortunate invalid whom Mitya Karamazov offended, took out of the tavern by his beard and laughed at. Alyosha Karamazov is very sympathetic to the poor, sick captain, tries to give him money, apologizes for his brother - and the captain throws the money on the ground, shouts, swears at Alyosha, who is helping him. Not at the offender Mitya, but at the kind and friendly Alyosha... And in fact, this beggar captain, offended by everyone, does not swear at Alyosha, but at everyone who offended him. People with this kind of psychotrauma constantly “bite the hand of the giver,” instead of the normal acceptance of help and gratitude in return. If you want, this is a symptom, and they do this NOT out of ill will, it is from internal pain and the inability to direct aggression towards the true offender. This is a DISORDER and that is what needs to be treated. Such traumatized people either bite THEMSELVES, or, when you approach them, they rush to bite ANOTHER. And until they take out their aggression somewhere, they are not able to accept help. Therefore, others very quickly stop extending a helping hand, pitying them and supporting them. And such alienation is interpreted by unfortunate traumatists as confirmation of their thesis “no one loves me, no one needs me.” The circle is closed. The traumatist built a prison of false beliefs with his own hands, sits inside and suffers. He is in pain, bad, but doesn’t know how to get out.
If a person is beaten (at least morally) from childhood and weaned off self-support, then he will turn into what the client is like. She will not believe that she is good for anything, that she is smart, beautiful and might be desirable to someone. Such a person can receive other people’s support (for now) only a little bit at a time and in a very limited form. And on the Internet, excuse me, you can neither feed nor teach how to support yourself.
For this, another, specially trained person is needed. Psychotherapist.
That is, since a person cannot accept help from loved ones and strangers, this is often not his fault, not stupidity or malicious intent - but a sincere, serious problem. With deep roots and far-reaching consequences. And this - yes, this cannot be corrected except in a psychological consultation. There the person will cry (in an atmosphere of acceptance and trust), and will realize with horror that he is his own executioner, and will try to “bite” the supporting therapist (but they are trained, the therapist will not give in so easily! :))
So don’t delay visiting a psychologist. It doesn't go away on its own. And the “get rich” method doesn’t help here either. Yes, he doesn’t help anywhere...
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This is the first article in a series of materials on the topic of how to accept yourself and love yourself as you are.
- Part 1 - [you are here]- How to accept yourself and love yourself. What prevents acceptance
- Part 2 —
If a person does not accept himself, or some part of himself,
then he cannot love himself.
How can we love what we reject?
For a long time, the topic of self-acceptance has been asking to be translated into an article, and now I finally decided to write it.
Working with people, I came to the conclusion that the root of any issue or problem is almost always the topic of self-acceptance. Those. it turns out that all the problems, misunderstandings, confusing situations happen only because a person rejects himself.
Sounds paradoxical, right? Now I will try to explain clearly and with examples how this happens.
It all usually starts in childhood, when you wanted to please your parents and please your friends. When you are a little older, you want to establish yourself in school, prove something to someone, become better than..., be more beautiful than..., stronger... and the like.
This is how the first inferiority complexes appear, tension and tightness, stooped posture, and for some, vision deteriorates. Self-esteem drops. You stop liking something about yourself: body, figure, face, level of knowledge. Everyone has their own, but there is always something you don’t like and don’t like. In adulthood, if you continue to not accept yourself, everything listed above grows to exorbitant proportions and turns... What it can turn into, I’d better write at the end :)
How to accept yourself and love yourself. What hinders acceptance? To begin with, I propose to consider the reasons in detail.
How to accept yourself and love yourself
Trust but check?
The most basic reason for self-rejection, in my opinion, is lack of trust.
Before Verie - that which is before faith.
Faith:
Ve - knowledge.
Ra is the creative light of the sun.
Faith is knowledge of the basics of creation.
Trust is the basis of knowing the basics of creation.
Faith is when a person believes in someone or someone, in something: I believe in God, in a person, in myself, parents, husband, author. I believe because I know, feel, understand, etc. You can always explain why I believe.
Trust is self-explanatory. It's on its own. I trust because I trust. If you start looking for reasons why you trust, then this is no longer trust, it is just faith.
I propose to consider in detail the signs of a lack of self-confidence:
1. Comparing yourself with others. Comparing what you have with what others have
This can manifest itself in different ways.
Example: This man knows more than me, he is more experienced than me. My friend's car is cooler than mine. This speaker speaks more convincingly than me. You cook better than me. I don't have the same taste in clothes as you. I can't do it like you. I want to be better than you and so on.
Pay attention to whether there are similar figures of speech in your vocabulary. How often do you think this way about yourself or other people? Write your real-life examples in the comments to the article.
Each person is one of a kind, there has never been another like him, there is not and there never will be. This is how the Creator originally intended it.
Comparing yourself with someone else always takes a person away from himself.
On this topic: A master class will help you on how to stop comparing yourself to others and find your own uniqueness in practice
2. Checking how and what other people do
Example: You have to constantly monitor how assignments and other things are done, because people make mistakes so often.
You have to constantly remind people of things because people are forgetful.
You often double-check others and ask again, clarifying whether they understood you correctly and remembered everything. Your favorite phrases: “I knew that..., that’s why I did....”, “I knew that..., that’s why I did it on purpose...”
All this suggests that you do not trust other people, which means, first of all, you do not trust yourself.
3. Constant doubts, uncertainty
Example: I'm not sure I can do it. I can not. I don't know what would be the right thing to do. Which decision is the best?
Uncertainty- denial, lack of faith. Faith cannot be firm and exist without relying on trust.
Doubts- joint opinions.
Whose opinions and thoughts do you listen to? Who did you let into your head? Whose opinion are you relying on? Whose words are the most significant and play a role in decision making?
Who and what is most important in life?
In all our courses, we always ask participants this question during training. The answers in 90% of cases are the same: child/children, husband/wife, mother/father/parents, beloved/beloved.
Often we push ourselves aside and put someone else at the center of our lives. Or, what’s even more serious, we put something first: family, work, relationships, education, recreation.
The list varies, but it makes absolutely no sense. Why? Because there is no one in him who and for whose sake everything happens and revolves in life. This is the person himself, that is, I.
I am like a child of God.
I, in whom there is a piece of God - the life-giving Spirit.
I, who was created in the image and likeness of God the Creator, which means I am also a Creator.
While a person stands at the center of his life and is for itself the most important and significant, he is an even axis on which he strings and around which life, events, and people spin.
Do you remember your childhood toy - a pyramid of rings? It is on the axle that all the rings are put on. Remove the axis, and the pyramid becomes shaky, unstable and easy to destroy.
Likewise, when a person forgets about himself, he becomes insecure, doubtful, and he is easily “pushed, pushed to the side, moved out of the way” by those who are stronger and faster.
Who are you, who do you think you are?
Tricky question:) Often at live meetings and on-line group classes, I ask the participants: “Who are you, who do you think you are?”
Here are the 3 most common answers: I am a soul. I am a soul living an experience in a human body. I am a man/woman.
And for some reason, the word I hear least often is human.
Human:
The forehead is the place where wisdom and clairvoyance live.
A century is the eternity of life.
Clairvoyance manifests itself only when clairvoyance, clairaudience and clairsentience are developed. This means that a person knows how to listen and hear, look and see, feel and sense. Combine all this together, remember and draw a conclusion. Take past experience into account, think, understand. This is how wisdom is born.
The eternity of life exists only when children are born, which means the soul can incarnate. Environment - living nature is around, which means there is a place to live.
Live means to affirm life in matter.
Man is the one who, guided by his wisdom, creates life on Earth.
Something is already turning out quite gloomy, right? A sad picture emerges. But it would seem, just think, it all started with the fact that there was simply something about yourself that you didn’t like, something you didn’t like.
What to do, or How to live further
In fact, everything is not so scary, it is fixable and can be changed. I often repeat that everything can be changed and corrected while we are alive. Therefore, if suddenly, dear reader, you find in yourself signs of non-acceptance of yourself, do not be alarmed.
On the contrary, take it as a reason to rejoice. After all, this means that there is an opportunity to develop oneself, which means moving forward.
1. You just need to start trusting yourself.
What does it mean to listen to your inner voice, intuition. Hear other opinions, but make a decision based on your own conclusions. Stop comparing yourself to others and see your own uniqueness. Let go of control and give yourself and others the right to make mistakes.
2. Become the main and most important person in your life.
What does it mean to ask yourself in situations: Do I want this or that? Is this or that important to me? For whom and why am I doing this? Does this make sense to me and what is it?
3. Accept yourself as a human and know your own integrity through the development of the capabilities of spirit, soul and body.
What does it mean to be able to see the essence and find meaning in everything. Set goals and find ways to achieve and implement them. To be healthy in body and soul, to strengthen and temper your will - spirit.
4. Want to live here and now.
Move along the path of creation together with your loved ones. Know what you want through knowing yourself and your abilities and capabilities.
And always remember that I am I, man is a child of God, the Creator. The one and only.
P.S.: Please write in the comments, dear reader, whether the topic of self-acceptance is relevant for you. Do you think it's important to highlight this and look for ways to fix it?
Mental state is a part of our health, no less important than physical state. Anxiety, fears, a constant desire to prove something to yourself and others - this is a false facade that hides problems.
These problems can and should be solved in order to ultimately give yourself the opportunity to simply live, without envying or worrying unnecessarily, constantly feeling joy within yourself as an endless source of energy.
Searching for the meaning of life is one of the signs that not everything is in order. For a harmonious person, meaning appears on its own - from feelings, sensations and experiences. But inner harmony will not arise on its own. The basis for it can either be laid in childhood or developed in adulthood. The second option will require conscious effort.
In childhood, our emotions, desires and feelings are the most vivid and pure. During this period, the foundation of the entire future life is formed. However, during these years we are not independent: we depend on parents, loved ones, educators and older comrades.
If a child was denied support and love, if he had no outlet, no outlet for negative emotions - and in childhood everything is very vivid, even pain - then such an onslaught on the child’s “I” will lead to the emergence of protective mechanisms of the psyche. A strong but unreal “I” is formed, with which the child hides from the world.
The real “I” remains lonely and unappreciated, which gives rise to many internal conflicts
Having lost his “I” behind a bunch of masks, a person begins to prove in every possible way to himself and others the importance of his false, unreal self.
At the same time, the real “I” remains lonely and unappreciated by anyone, which gives rise to many internal conflicts. Therefore, external success is often associated with severe internal pain.
The problem is aggravated by the fact that even having subjugated those around him, creating a seemingly favorable environment around himself, a person with the true “I” driven inside will not be able to receive real feelings from others until he loves himself.
The ability to feel, love and accept yourself is the basis that allows you to subsequently love someone else and accept love from others.
Without accepting ourselves, we block the source of our own feelings, replacing them with gray fakes. As a result, we destroy both our own personality and the personalities of those around us.
At the same time, we feel pain all the time, but it is driven inside, and then makes us hurt others.
This circle is endless, and there is only one way out of it - love.
To love means to allow yourself to be yourself. Remove false disguises, abandon the defense built over the years, accept your loved ones, find those who value you, and not your masks. Getting your love back is not an easy job. But the result is worth any effort. I suggest doing a body therapy exercise that will help you learn to respect and love yourself and your body. This is a practice based on Alexander Lowen's exercises.
1. Start appreciating your body
Divide a piece of paper in half to create two columns. On one side, list 20 features that you appreciate in your body: long neck, strong shoulders, thick hair, good digestive system, strong arms, large breasts, good eyesight, excellent coordination, graceful fingers, etc.
If you can't list 20, write ten. If this is too much, then write five. And if it is difficult to list at least five, find at least two features (but no less).
Once you've done this, in another column, add just one thing that you don't like about your body. Take a look at your list. And allow yourself to appreciate your body more than judge it.
2. Drain Negative Thoughts
If you find it difficult to create such a list, make a positive statement about your body, even if it seems strange: for example, “I love my belly.” Then write down each counter-critical statement until you have exhausted all negative thoughts.
Once you have done this, repeat the positive statement and try to add another one to it.
3. Rediscover your body
Close your eyes and carefully move your thoughts through your body from top to bottom and bottom to top. Is there a part that you skipped too quickly? Is there anything that you have rejected and not included in your body image? Is there an area that you are not feeling, perhaps without even knowing that you have rejected it?
Is there anything you don't like and call disgusting or unpleasant? Pay attention to this area. Does it have a distinctive feature: color, sound, appearance, temperature, structure, density, tension or some other sensation?
4. Fill yourself with love
Now, with each breath, fill your heart with energy from any sacred source in which you believe. With each exhalation, send love from the heart to the rejected or insensitive area. Breathe until you notice changes.
Do you feel like you have softened? Do you have compassion for yourself? Has the color, quality, image or feel of the rejected area changed?
Try repeating the exercise every day for a week. To consolidate the results, it is advisable to do the exercise for 40 days without breaks.
about the author
Psychologist, physical therapist, instructor of meditative practices, author of the “Rapid Change Therapy” methodology, formed on the basis of psychosynthesis (a method of psychotherapy and self-development), bodily and meditative techniques. More details on the website.