We recently read material about what signs can be used to distinguish a poor girl. And they thought: “Why are these only girls?” Among everyone’s acquaintances there will definitely be one or two such people, and these are not necessarily ladies. They are poor not because they wear pants with holes. There are many of them among fairly decent earning people. But if these are friends, you don’t always have the courage to say honestly that they are not behaving quite correctly. In general, we propose a new rating and, keeping in mind poverty, we will talk not only and not so much about material values.
A real beggar is always whining about a bad life
He is not satisfied with the city where he lives, the country and the planet. It is impossible to work because there are no conditions. There are traffic jams on the roads, pipes are leaking in houses, the government is terrible, friends are traitors. And everyone is always to blame. Except him.
And doesn't even try to change it for the better
For what? After all, something needs to be done for this. And a beggar is by nature lazy and clumsy. I only have enough strength to develop a cool plan. Then this plan hangs for years on the wall in his room until it comes off along with the wallpaper. By the way, a beggar takes criticism of his views on life very painfully.
Remembers family and friends only when he needs something
A sincere gratitude You can't expect anything from him. If a rogue calls you, the conversation will look something like this:
- Hello. How are you?
- Not bad. I'm here…
- Clear. Listen, I have something to do with you!
He quickly “forgets” about his debts, but remembers exactly who owes him
Here, too, we are not just talking about money. If he borrows an idea, he will never remember who suggested it to him. If you take even a pie from him, he will definitely remind you that you need to return it. Well, if he borrows money from you... an endless story begins, in the end of which you look like a vile extortionist.
The poor man always saves for his dream, so he never pays for a taxi
He is very fond of “social workloads”, “shared bill in a cafe” and “the fight for the truth with the whole team”. He has a hard time with individuality, because he is unable to waste his genius. And in general, he is constantly saving for something very, very important, so the company must chip in for “small” expenses without him. He pretends that he is not busy.
He has neither a hobby nor the desire to acquire one
His only hobby is finding faults in others. He is ready to do this around the clock and selflessly. The poor man believes that he understands many things or little of everything. “And if you don’t understand painting, then I can’t explain it to you!”
He elevates his achievements to the rank of feats
Other people's help means very little to him. A beggar is always a winner in life, “the boss of the plates.” Stand out in a crowd with bright designer pants, post alone philosophical quotes on social networks. The accent in the surnames of their famous authors is often confused.
When talking about books and films, the phone quickly “merges” or “sticks”
His interests include expensive purchases, foreign trips and his girlfriend Zinka. At the same time, a poor person can be quite well educated. It’s just that intellectual topics are boring for him. It’s much more interesting what kind of “prince” Zinka brought into the general company yesterday. “No, well, he’s certainly not very good! It is a fact".
Frugal vocabulary is used for demanding, gossiping or praising a luxury item
This is all because the beggar is desperately lacking everything in life, and he is insatiably trying to fill the gap. Everyone owes him all his life, but he, like Ellochka the cannibal, only knows how to accept gifts gracefully.
Binge watching television shows, especially those where Cinderellas are turned into princesses
“She’s so lucky!” Envy is an indispensable quality of a beggar. Everything that others get is necessarily “for free”, theft and undeservedly. All that he earned was “honest and back-breaking labor.”
In an attempt to find a universal approach to stronger sex folk psychology has produced many funny classifications of men: creator, merchant, ruler...
Have you heard of these? So, throw this folklore out of your head.
What types of men are there?
There are only two types of men: beggar And normal, there is simply no third (or fourth) given.
What does a beggar do:
- complains, blames parents, ex, president and circumstances for the lack of results;
- I am convinced that a woman should earn her own income and have time to raise children, create comfort and at the same time remain content and beautiful;
- lives with his parents, sometimes “married to his mother”;
- believes that only deceivers, thieves or lucky people earn good money;
- and... reasons intelligently. Seems to know the answers to all questions;
- has a lot of free time.
These are just some of the signs.
Photo source: pixabay.com
Understand trying to inspire a poor man, you do it out of pity. Why this is so is a topic for a separate article!
Now the qualities of a normal man:
- little free time;
- understands that he is characterized by achievements and results, and not beautiful words;
- realizes that everything that happens in life is his responsibility;
- for him, love and relationships are mutual exchange, interaction, the desire to paint a smile on his woman’s face.
For such a person, the desire to provide for his family and take care of the den is something that goes without saying. Even if you start to violate the principles professional woman, manipulate and torture his brains, he will still continue moving towards the goal.
Normal - no need to inspire!
Again. Remember, or better yet, write it down once and for all: a normal man there is no need to inspire. Just don't bother me! Although I understand, this is a separate art.
Now look around, see what kind of men are around you? The ones you dream about, or the “weak” ones?
Photo source: pixabay.com
Perhaps, in a half-forgotten period of love, your chosen one seemed like a demigod, doomed to exploits and accomplishments, but the fog of passion has cleared, and now you are at a loss. There is anxiety and fear of the future.
Are women to blame for connecting their lives with “weak” men?
Definitely no.
Like most girls and women in post-Soviet space, fathers, prototypes of future husbands, were not fathers in full, modern understanding this word. Weak, drinking, running away from responsibility and then from alimony - they created a factual image, the embodiment of which the fair sex (unwittingly) attracts.
Let's take stock
- A normal man doesn't need to be inspired!
- If there are weak people around you, then accept it as a fact. A fact that you created.
- Most try to change men and only a few start with themselves. Actually, this is what I encourage you to do.
Psychologists say that social status and a person’s wealth is directly related to a person’s lifestyle and thinking. There are several reasons why many people fail to achieve success, not only financially, but also personally.
By what postulates does a person who is always in need of money live?
Even if they pay little, but it’s stable
A person with a poor man’s mentality usually chooses a low-paying but stable job, for example, in government institutions. He knows for sure that the state will provide for him. And the idea of going to a commercial organization causes fear - after all, there is a risk of ending up on the street! A person with this type of thinking does not believe in his own strengths and abilities. He chooses less responsibility and less money, but stability and confidence in tomorrow. As a result, he ends up doing boring and routine work, stops developing and after a couple of years becomes unnecessary to anyone.
Fear of change
A person with a poor man's mentality is very afraid of change. He lives by the principle that it is better to have a little than to risk losing everything. People with this kind of thinking will never get a second education, change their job to a more profitable one, move to another city in search of a new life or open a business.
Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem- one of the main features of a person with the psychology of poverty. High self-esteem, in fact, there is nowhere to come from - a person works in an uninteresting and hated job, which he is afraid of losing, does not receive any bright impressions, nothing changes for him. A person with such a psychology cannot understand that a comfortable life opens up to people who are active, active and not afraid to take risks.
Passivity
In order to achieve something in life, you need to make an effort. It is obvious. To get a higher-paying job, you need to take on more responsibility, gain additional knowledge and work harder than in your old job. People with a poor man's mentality do not want and do not know how to be active - they are afraid to look new job, because it seems to them that they cannot cope with it. Man is passive, and that is why he is poor.
The whole world owes me
A person with the psychology of poverty is accustomed to shifting responsibility for his life to others - to the state, to his boss. For some reason he decided that everyone owed him. For example, he believes that his boss should pay him a good salary because he has been working for him for 10 years and performs his duties efficiently. But he forgets that he once chose this low-paid job.
It's better to save than to earn more
People with the psychology of poverty spend their energy and time not on earning more, but on retaining more. They spend a lot of time in stores to compare prices and buy the cheapest. They go to different authorities to achieve meager benefits, social assistance and reduction of utilities. And this is instead of spending the same efforts on earning money and finding a decent job.
Beautiful, gentle, smart, in style. Poor, but sexy. So what if he doesn't have money? You are strong, you will fix it...
Let's be honest! I know that at the stage of the candy-bouquet period, in a relationship, a man seems to be a demigod.
Then the passions subside, you look around and see somewhere behind him - a beggar who is not catching up.
He is waiting for you to come home from work (a woman has to work for such people. No options.), go to the supermarket, fry some potatoes, prepare a bath...
And he, drinking fortified wine, will spend his premium on tanks and speculate about the structure of the atom.
Face control
Eat 10 simple questions , the answers to which will clarify the situation. It does not give a 100% guarantee, but it will help you understand the basic signs of being poor.
Answer everything "Yes" or "No". Go!
- He can clearly articulate his life position and goals for the coming year?
- He repeats that women only want money?
- Are the president, the country, the ex, the circumstances and the boss to blame for his failures?
- Does he live with his parents?
- Does he have a lot of free time?
- Does he believe that a woman should work, and that the “male breadwinner” is a relic?
- Is he sure that big money can only be earned through luck?
- Talks more than he does?
- Focuses on the opinions of others?
- Does he have addictions?
If you answered “yes” to at least six questions, it’s time for someone
Why did you choose him?
Agree. Very often a woman immediately feels that a man is not suitable for her.
Call it what you want, write it off as inner voice, intuition, but somewhere deep inside there is a feeling of “something is wrong.”
How many times have you ignored him when starting a relationship? Confess in the comments. In any case, don't blame yourself. I'm sure he was once completely different, but the relationship promised to be.
But people don't change until they want to. There are two types of beggars: those with potential and those without. And the latter chooses poverty as a way of life.
And you won't be able to mold him into another person. But trying is not torture, what if there was a potential one nearby? There are a couple of points that you can analyze now.
Think about yourself
Before you try to change a man, sort yourself out. Otherwise, you will get rid of one and find another.
Let's figure this out first:
What did he fall for?
One of the most common mistakes women make: chance meeting and “happily ever after.”
As if the main thing is to meet that person, and then things will work out on their own.
I'll tell you a secret - the scheme is different. People are like magnets for each other. A woman attracts a certain quality with each of her qualities.
Who you are determines those who are next to you - no one is “by chance” next to you. Moreover, he is a poor man. That is why I repeat - you need to start with yourself! This is what I teach and dedicate my life to.
Come on, no fantasies
You hoped you could change him. Will you be the one for whom he will jump from the couch onto a horse, change the remote control to a spear and run to kill the dragon?
If you think that there are some “Real Women” who will make a billionaire out of any loser, get this nonsense out of your head!
If you still want...
Yes, a beggar can become. Sometimes it happens. A person can change almost beyond recognition, I know from myself.
Just 10 years ago I was completely different from how you see me. Do you know how I've changed? I wanted it myself. And above all, I changed my beliefs.
So, we have come close to the question: how to change? My answer is NO way until he wants to. But you can influence.
How to determine potential?
Maturity comes at the moment when a man takes responsibility for his actions and decisions, stops submitting to public pressure, and begins to realize his dreams and goals.
He overcomes the need for public approval and finds the source of strength within himself. Feels the need to get out of a dead end.
If he paid attention to courses, literature on self-development, and stopped looking for someone to blame, there is a chance that he is trying to become a normal man.
He already looks at the world differently. The main thing is not to discourage the desire.
So, what NOT to do:
1. Prove
Not everyone wants to know the truth. Especially about yourself. Therefore, there is no need to tell him to his face that he is a loser and give him a volume of “What to do if I am a loser” for his birthday.
Or flood his DM with articles about the nature of infantility, psychological maturity and about “real men” who give flowers every day.
In response you will hear “you are a fool” and you will be in Once again complain to his girlfriends about what an ass he is.
Don't try to prove to a person that he is “wrong”. Everyone is at their own stage of development. And no one says that your level is higher than theirs - you yourself attracted a rogue.
Think about it.
2. Give him a goal
Keep your focus on yourself. Think not about the other person, but about who you are in relation to him. Manage your reactions, desires and thoughts.
Others will figure it out themselves.
Otherwise, you will waste a lot of energy on things that have no prospects.
You can't stop the rain if it's already falling. It is much easier and more efficient to take out an umbrella and go home. Tired of it? Move to Bali!
3. Cultivate hopes if he doesn't care.
If he continues to procrastinate, there is no point in holding on to him.
Wet wood smokes and spoils the atmosphere - it does not burn and does not heat. Of course, you can accept him for who he is if you are strong and independent.
You know what I mean, right? Now let's talk about more effective methods.
What might work?
Lead by example
If you develop and your man sees this, his attitude towards you will change. He might even want to pull himself up.
Recognize the fact that in the life of a professional woman, beggars do not linger. They rarely even get into her field. So you have something to strive for.
Don't expect wild joy: it is quite possible that he will begin to get angry, worried, and show aggression. Weak men they are afraid when their woman develops.
It is clear to him: “she will want more and the feeding trough will fall apart.” But your energy can also hurt him and push him to develop - this happens.
Normally support
“Well, let's see what you can do...” - this is a position, a thought, a phrase that is already tired, strong and independent.
She foils her look, her relationships with men, and kills even a rogue with potential. Especially when he decides to get down to business.
Some still believe that such phrases evoke excitement, a desire to do and prove that one can do it. I’ll tell you a secret - this is not motivation! Do not do that.
Don't be afraid to leave
Many men came to their senses when they lost everything. Maybe he needs some kind of push to get out of his comfort zone?
Either way, if you're unhappy in your relationship, you have the right to leave.
Don't be afraid to let him go and break off the relationship, but do it correctly and correctly. So that you don’t leave a tail of negativity as an inheritance.
Choose a good moment and calmly talk to the man. Choose your words and explain why you made the decision and what doesn’t suit you in your relationship.
Your happiness is your business
In my practice, I have encountered a million times with students who really wanted to be happy, but not so much to change.
A man, a husband, a colleague, parents - they must improve, but she is already doing well.
The circumstances of your life are not the cause, but the consequence of WHO YOU ARE. In order for the shell to change, you need to change the core, which means accepting the fact that in your life everything depends on you and nothing more.
Is yours,
Yaroslav Samoilov.
Anyone decent person It is known that Russia is a country of poor people. And in Europe, as in other “civilized” countries, the people are entirely prosperous and rich. In Russia they save because of poverty, and Europeans save because they are simply prudent and, in general, they don’t care about show-offs.
Such stories about savings associated with poverty, or, as bloggers like to call it, “poverty,” are regularly thrown into the Internet space.
But as soon as the conversation turns to saving in Europe, the poverty of which Russians are accused immediately turns into European rationality and virtue.
But who are such conclusions intended for? For those who endlessly whine while living in Russia, and at the same time have no idea how they live in other countries?
I recently read a post where Russians are called “rogues” (I hate this disgusting word, but that’s exactly what it says there) and was once again surprised by the stupidity and demonstration double standards, where the author states that Russians are forced to save on food, which is not the case in other countries.
But let's face it. Everyone saves! In any country, with any income, there is always something you can save on, and most sane people for whom money does not fall from the sky do so. Only some people save on quantity, others on quality. Figuratively, some save on the size of eggs, and others on their quantity. Some people buy cheap semi-finished products, others buy natural products. Europeans also save money on the same food, in addition to serious savings on utilities.
AND, big question, who is more "rogue", translating into normal language who have a worse quality of life. For me, the one who sits in a cold house and washes the whole family in one bathroom, and not the one who wisely saves on food.
By the way, about saving on food... Some Russians would really like to save wisely and convert the quantity of food into quality. We are used to eating into three throats, and by the age of 30, men grow huge bellies, and women grow impressive butts.
Russia has already reached the FOURTH place in the world in OBESITY!!! Over 33 years, the number of obese people has increased by 2.5 times! Are they plump due to hunger and saving on food?
It’s funny, but the author of the post about Russian “beggars” speaks extremely negatively about saving on communal services, probably not knowing that it is on communal services that Europeans save very harshly, following conventions unthinkable for us, for example, not flushing the toilet after yourself until you go to the toilet The whole family went and took turns washing in the bathroom without changing the water... This is no joke, more on that later.
I already wrote, and not a quote from there:
What do Russians save on? A lot of research and opinion polls have been conducted on this matter. In terms of percentages, they give different but close figures, but in terms of the items on which they save, there is no discrepancy.
“First of all, Russians save on travel and entertainment.
Secondly - on clothes and shoes.
In the third - on food.
And only in the fourth - on utilities.
What do Europeans save on?
The first is on travel and entertainment.
The second is about utilities.
The third is on clothes, shoes.
Fourth - on food."
Here is a selection of screenshots of comments to these posts, so as not to repeat them:
Actually, that's all you need to know about saving in different countries and stop attributing savings solely to Russians.