Today we will talk about what it is constructive and destructive criticism what it should be attitude towards criticism, how to respond to criticism. Any person engaged in any business, or even simply openly expressing his opinion, his position on some issue, will certainly be subject to criticism to one degree or another. Moreover, the more his path or his position differs from what the majority does or thinks, the more criticism he will hear addressed to him.
What to do in this case, how to respond to criticism? About all this in today's article.
Let me start with the fact that a lot really depends on a person’s attitude towards criticism. For some people, criticism acts as a stimulus to move forward, for others, on the contrary, as a destabilizing factor. The attitude towards criticism can greatly affect relationships with other people, not only with strangers, but also with loved ones. And finally, there are many examples when a person suffered serious failures only because he did not want to respond to criticism. And, conversely, when people abandoned promising and successful projects because they were criticized.
Reaction to criticism– a very important quality for any person, no matter what he does. Taking criticism can lead to serious consequences, both for the better and for the worse.
To figure out how to properly respond to criticism, you first need to determine what type of criticism it refers to.
Types of criticism. Constructive and destructive criticism.
So, let's look at the main types of criticism. There are only two of them.
1. Constructive criticism– is an expression of one’s opinion for the purpose of providing assistance. In this case, the critic evaluates your actions or your position, wanting to help you and bring some benefit. Constructive criticism can be expressed in the form of an objective analysis or in the form of some advice or recommendations for improvement.
Let's look at the main signs by which we can determine that this is constructive criticism:
– Objectivity. Expressing his opinion, the critic does not claim the absolute truth, he emphasizes that this is his personal position, his opinion;
– Specificity. The critic points out specific details or points that he questions, without saying that absolutely everything is bad;
– Reasoning. The person who criticizes gives specific arguments, substantiates his position, shows what his criticism is based on;
– Examples from life. When criticizing, a person gives specific examples from his personal or someone else’s life that confirm his train of thought;
– Knowledge of the matter. The critic himself is well versed in the issues that he criticizes (for example, he has specialized education, experience, personal achievements);
– No personalization. A person criticizes, showing respect, does not get personal, criticizes not the opponent himself, but his actions or beliefs;
– Pointing out the positives. The critic points out not only the shortcomings, but also the advantages of your work or your position.
Constructive criticism allows you to see your shortcomings from the outside and correct them. With the right attitude, it can bring considerable benefits in any business.
2. Destructive criticism- this is the expression of one’s negative opinion aimlessly or for selfish purposes. In this case, the critic does not at all want to help the one he criticizes; he does it with some low goals or no goals at all.
Let us highlight the main reasons for destructive criticism:
– Manipulative influence. The critic thus influences the opponent in order to persuade him to take some action that is beneficial to him;
– Envy. A person can simply envy another person, and from this try to look for shortcomings in him and openly point out them;
– A sense of self-importance. There are people who criticize for the sake of the process itself and to receive moral satisfaction from it. This is also destructive criticism in its purest form;
– Non-standard thoughts, the path of development. If a person stands out from the crowd, thinks and acts differently from the majority, then there will be many who want to criticize him just because he is not like them. Such criticism is also not constructive.
Now let's look at the main signs indicating that this is destructive criticism. Basically, this is everything that is the opposite of constructive:
– Bias. The critic clearly demonstrates that everything he says is an unconditional, 100% truth that cannot even be questioned;
– Lack of specifics. Simply everything is criticized, general, vague formulations are used: “everything is bad”, “everything is terrible”, “this is wrong”, “this is futile”, “well, who does this”, etc.;
– Getting caught up in the little things. The critic actively criticizes the most unimportant aspects that do not have much impact on the overall process or position;
– Inappropriateness. A person constantly and actively imposes his criticism, on his own initiative, when no one asks him to do so, and even makes it clear that his opinion is not interesting;
– Getting personal. The critic expresses his opinion not about actions and judgments, but about the person himself, and all this in a disrespectful manner.
Destructive criticism does not bring any benefit, but only harm. Its main goal is to unbalance a person, to force him to abandon his affairs or thoughts to please the critic.
Now that you know what constructive and destructive criticism is, let's look at how to respond to criticism.
How to respond to criticism?
First of all, I want to note a very important point:
If you do not know how to react correctly to criticism, if you gladly accept praise, and take any negative assessment with hostility, it will be difficult for you in anything. In this case, criticism will hinder you in all your endeavors, spoil your relationships with other people, and make you an angry and irritable person. It is necessary to use constructive criticism for your own benefit, and draw conclusions from destructive criticism. You will be subject to criticism in any case, even if you do everything perfectly. You won’t be able to avoid it, so the main thing is to develop a competent attitude towards criticism, to know and understand how to respond to criticism in a given situation.
A literate person's response to criticism should begin with determining the type of criticism, that is, whether it is constructive or destructive. The signs by which this can be determined are described above. So, let's look at how to respond to criticism.
1. Don't lose your self-esteem and faith in yourself. Even constructive criticism should under no circumstances become a reason to lower your own self-esteem and lose confidence in your own abilities.
2. Separate emotions from useful advice and recommendations. Often both constructive and destructive criticism can be emotional to one degree or another. However, really useful comments, advice and recommendations can be “hidden” between emotions. When listening to criticism, immediately separate all emotions and ignore them. But on the contrary, focus on constructive comments, advice and recommendations.
3. Don't respond to criticism right away. The response to criticism must be thoughtful. Often a person who is criticized, especially if the criticism is emotional and destructive, also falls under the power of emotions, responds in the same spirit, criticism develops into a quarrel, and relationships deteriorate. Who benefits from this? Nobody. Therefore, it is better to silently listen to criticism, and if it requires an answer, take a break to think about it.
4. Use constructive criticism to help. Since constructive criticism is carried out for the purpose of providing assistance, take advantage of this, use it for your own benefit. That is, analyze and draw conclusions.
5. It is impossible not to react to criticism at all. Even if this is destructive criticism, you need to understand what caused it; perhaps some significant threat is hanging over you, and this is just the beginning?
6. Don't take criticism to heart. At the same time, when thinking about how to respond to criticism, try to put aside all emotions. The fewer there are, the more you can accept.
7. What is more important is not the motives of the critic, but the essence of the criticism. It often happens that a person who is being criticized first of all tries to understand why he aroused such interest, what attitude the critic has towards him, what he wants to achieve. But the essence of the identified shortcomings is much more important, especially if it is constructive criticism.
8. If different people criticize the same thing, this is a reason to think about it. It’s one thing when one person sees a certain flaw, his opinion can be subjective, but when different people talk about it, you should think about it.
And finally, a very important rule:
An intelligent and competent person engaged in self-development, striving for success and self-improvement, must be able to identify not only obvious, but also hidden criticism, and quickly respond to it.
For example, a subordinate will not openly criticize his boss. However, based on some of his actions or words, a competent boss should notice the criticism himself, and if it is constructive, then respond to it.
I will end here. Now you know what constructive and destructive criticism is, how to determine the type of criticism and how to respond to criticism in both cases. I hope that this information will be useful to you and you will begin to put it into practice.
I wish you success in all your endeavors! See you again at !
No matter how strong your sense of self is, listening to criticism is always more difficult than taking a walk in the park. But part of life in this universe, especially the work part of it, is being able to take criticism.
You have a job, and you may or may not be doing a good job, or maybe you're just doing a passable job. Perhaps your salary depends on the quality of your work. Some companies hide this process under different names like "quarterly reporting" or "performance management" (as if you were a solo opera singer), but it really depends on what your boss or co-workers say they like about you. and what you should improve in yourself.
Constructive and non-constructive criticism
Constructive criticism is about your best interests and is offered to help you become the best you can be. Assume that all criticism you hear is constructive and that you are on the same side as the person appraising you. He wants you to enjoy the work you do and to get better at it.
Unless your boss is a notorious tyrant and egoist, what he tells you will be quite valuable. The more you believe in your abilities, the easier it will be for you to accept criticism as constructive. Remember, it is not you that is being assessed, but your performance.
Overall, you get the opportunity to become better at what you do. If you were perfect, you would be bored and you wouldn't be here - there would be nothing left to learn.
So accept criticism and try to find a use for it. This is easier to do when the criticism comes from someone you respect, and the critic delivers it as if he wants you to succeed. If you feel like you don't get enough of this kind of criticism, ask those who work around you for it. You can use criticism as a guide to improvement, advice for advancement, or simply remember it for the future.
However, sometimes—okay, more often than not—you find yourself bombarded with criticism delivered with the tact of a snakebite. Unconstructive criticism, even if there are some good intentions hidden in its depths, is just a way to say nasty things. If you feel like you have been the target of unconstructive criticism, share all the comments with some friends outside of your work. It may be a critical attack made in the heat of the moment, but after receiving an objective opinion you may consider it constructive.
Unconstructive criticism does more harm than good - instead of saying, “You could use some work on this,” “such and such” is presented as a character defect. Unconstructive criticism is often personal and not relevant to what you do. If the critic doesn't like the way you do your job, that's one thing. If the critic does not like you personally, this should not figure in any way in the evaluation of your work.
One way to deal with this problem is to discuss with your boss the reasons why a certain type of criticism is counterproductive for you. Some companies even have a system in which subordinates criticize their superiors (often called “reverse management”). If your line manager does not accept this, or there is no such system where you work, you can discuss this with HR or another supervisory function.
In our lives, we often encounter critical comments, and even more often unconstructive criticism. Of course, it is not easy to accept it calmly, because it is precisely unfair statements towards oneself that a person endures extremely painfully.
Instinctively, we defend ourselves from criticism with yelling, anger, and other negative emotions, and this is destructive to us and our health.
Each person can react to criticism completely differently. The reaction also depends on a person’s upbringing, on his individual character traits, and his life experience. But in the end, we can summarize all the reactions and highlight three main ones. So, in response to criticism, a person can:
- Show aggression, hostility and even enter into conflict.
- To remain silent, at the same time feel depressed and harbor a grudge.
- Focus on your reaction. You neither accept nor reject criticism.
“An enemy who reveals your mistakes is more useful to you than a friend who wants to hide them” © Leonardo da Vinci
How can you learn to calmly respond to criticism?
Your first reaction to criticism is truly incredibly important. You can drag your opponent into a conflict or get out of this unpleasant situation very competently.
To respond to criticism correctly, you need to remain calm.
It is very easy to lose your temper if you are unfairly accused and significantly damage your reputation. Take a break and take a few deep breaths, try to calm down and not think about anything. You'll think about it later.
Don’t look for perfect answers to criticism, because most likely at such a moment nothing useful will come to your mind. It's best to calmly repeat the critical comment to the person to make sure you understood it correctly. Look the person straight in the eye and ask, “So what you mean is...” and convey the criticism in your own words.
In your statements, be careful, speak to the point and avoid the temptation to exaggerate what the person told you. Let the person know that you sincerely want to get to the bottom of the matter.
In this way you will show him exactly how you perceived his words and this will be the most adequate first reaction to criticism.
The tactic of objectively repeating and returning criticism can drive the critic crazy and it's time to start a real constructive discussion.
Start your phrases something like this: “From my point of view...”, and when you feel that the person is ashamed of his unconstructive criticism and his pride is hurt, you can use this phrase: “We have a misunderstanding. This happens to everyone, don’t worry.”
Don't forget that if a person is furious and you are calm, this will be noticeable to others and your calm reaction to unconstructive criticism will only improve your reputation among your colleagues.
If, after you have returned the criticism back to the person, he returns to his words again, then it is time to buy some time for a good answer.
You shouldn't be offended by unconstructive criticism at all.
Set yourself up in such a way that you react completely calmly to any criticism or even insult: “What makes you think that I’m a fool?” Even if you now understand that you were accused unfoundedly, still remain calm and tactfully express your point of view.
Try not to make excuses, just tell your opponent what you think about it. It is worth understanding that even if your critic understands that he was wrong, this may hurt his pride. If your boss criticizes you, try to smooth out the corners as much as possible and let him understand that there is simply a misunderstanding.
Of course, after such, and possibly unconstructive, criticism, your pride also suffers. Even if you know you did everything right and don't deserve to be treated that way, your self-confidence may suffer.
Take care to increase confidence in yourself and your abilities
Remember that the problem is the other person’s criticism and perception of your actions, not you as a person. You have become no worse or better, you did exactly what you thought was necessary to do.
Practice critical thinking towards unconstructive criticism and remain optimistic. Draw the right conclusions and never doubt yourself. Be the best!
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Is criticism constructive?“Can I give you constructive criticism?” These are the six scariest words you can hear in your entire life. Partly because we each have our own idea of constructiveness, and partly because no matter how well-meaning criticism may be, very few people are able to present it well.
And also because some people use it as a convenient excuse to pretend to be nice and lower your status a notch or two.
For one reason or another, criticism usually looks much more constructive from the point of view of the critic, rather than from the point of view of the person being criticized.
So is the expression " constructive criticism» internally contradictory?
I'll lay my cards on the table: I believe that criticism can be constructive. In fact, it is necessary if you want to become extraordinary. However, since criticism means many different things, I will start by explaining what I mean by its different types:
Constructive criticism
This is when someone has a certain opinion about your work or results and expresses it in a way that is helpful. Criticism can take the form of helpful advice (being told what to do) or simply thoughtful evaluation (what to do next is up to you).
Constructive criticism can be both positive and negative (the critic may or may not like your work), and contain both praise and recommendations for improvement.
Here several features of constructive criticism:
- Objectivity- the critic clarifies his point of view without claiming to be omniscient.
- Specificity- detailed enough to understand exactly what the critic is talking about and what evaluation criteria he uses.
- Availability of examples- the critic supports his statements with specific examples.
- Relevant- the critic focuses on the essential aspects of your work.
- Takes into account nuances- the critic recognizes that the outcome can be measured in smaller units and there may be alternative methods of evaluation.
- Respect- the critic does not get personal, does not imply that you are a bad performer, and does not imply that you are capable of making the necessary improvements.
Whether constructive criticism is encouraging or not is up to you to decide. Of course, if someone praises you, you will most likely feel energized. But even if a critic exposes many mistakes and shortcomings, I would advise not to be discouraged, even if you are not in seventh heaven.
If criticism is truly constructive, it provides an opportunity to correct mistakes and improve. I can think of a few occasions when a critic respectfully but mercilessly “torn my work to shreds,” but when I left the room I was eager to move on to the prospects that opened before me.
One of your career goals should be to find good sources of constructive criticism. Like feedback, it gives you an advantage, especially over those who are too selfish to accept any feedback.
Destructive criticism
This is when someone has a certain opinion, but either does not know how to express it correctly, or does not understand what he is talking about, or both.
I call this criticism destructive because of its effect: if you're not careful, it can seriously damage your motivation, creativity, and ability to learn. An equally accurate definition would be “incompetent criticism”: it speaks more about the mistakes of the critic, rather than of the criticized. If criticism is an art, the incompetent critic is an artist who can barely draw a stick figure.
Here typical features of destructive criticism:
- Bias- the critic speaks as if he is the bearer of the ultimate truth, and not a person who tends to make mistakes.
- Nebula- the work is rejected with vague formulations (“terrible”, “bad”, “no good”), without specifying what criteria the judgment is based on.
- Unsubstantiated- the critic does not illustrate his conclusions with specific examples.
- Not relevant- the critic introduces inappropriate criteria or focuses on unimportant aspects of the work.
- Sweepingness- general black-and-white judgments, non-recognition of gradation of quality and alternative points of view.
- Contempt- the critic is rude, aggressive, or does not show respect for the performer’s feelings.
If the incompetent critic is a reviewer, a heckler in the audience, or an internet troll, he can be ignored. However, if it's a boss or a client, you have a problem. Chapter 37 describes what to do then.