How to maintain confidence in a stressful situation. How to be calm in any situation and not get nervous? Why are we nervous?

Sometimes life presents situations in which every little thing irritates: the husband doesn’t thank you for dinner, the children don’t want to pack up their toys, and the boss reprimands you for not completing a task on time...

Is it possible to get rid of superficial irritability and become self-confident? Psychologists assure that it is not only possible, but also necessary: ​​it makes life much easier and helps maintain peace and balance.

Why does a person lose his calm?

Having exploded once again over some trivial matter, the woman begins to think about how to be calm and not get nervous. They use sedatives, heart-to-heart conversations with a close friend, auto-training, and even loudly counting to ten in a critical situation. But the exhausted body demands its way and again a breakdown follows with ridiculous decisions dictated not by common sense, but by impulse and momentary emotions.

Each time, the loss of calm is repeated simply because there is no exact and only correct recipe for how to remain calm in any situation. Therefore, before looking for ways out of the current situation, it is worth understanding its causes. Why do some women lose their calm over trivial matters, while others can boast of iron restraint?

Among the most common reasons for loss of calm are:

  • “Triggers”, that is, things, people or events that irritate us for reasons unknown to us: for example, a neighbor with a dog or rush hour on the subway.
  • Prolonged depression, combined with hopelessness and anxiety, can cause irascibility.
  • Chronic fatigue and lack of vitamins can also cause a loss of calm.
  • The presence of physical discomfort: when a person is hungry or cold, even a minor reason is enough to make him angry.
  • Presence of diseases: for example, with diabetes or thyroid diseases, increased irritability is often observed.

By identifying the cause of your irritation, you can solve it, rather than deal with the consequences of a temper that just signals, for example, fatigue or malaise.

FACT! During pregnancy, many women experience difficulties with balance and adequate reactions to familiar situations. Don't be afraid - it's just the effect of changing hormonal levels.

Calm, just calm!

Psychologists say with confidence: despite the fact that there is no universal method on how to become calm and not be nervous, every person can learn to remain calm in certain life situations.

  • Change your perspective on familiar things. Look at the world through a positive lens: love yourself and those around you. Forgive yourself and others for minor mistakes and shortcomings, do not reproach or put pressure on them. Show patience and understanding, learn to stop your irritation. Before you worry, consider the appropriateness of this behavior: what will change and who will benefit from worrying.
  • Change your behavior. If a stressful situation is inevitable, then you should change your reaction to it: try to restrain your negative reaction, model the development of the situation, avoid communicating with people who are prone to drama. Look at things through the eyes of a grandmother, wise from the life experience of a kind old woman.
  • Relax. In any situation, it is important to try to remain calm. To do this, psychologists advise relaxing, and everyone does it in their own way: some listen to quiet music, some use aromatic oils, some meditate. Many women find children and animals to be a calming factor, so engage in therapeutic playtime with your baby and cat.

These simple and transparent tips for everyone will help you understand how to learn to be calm and make your dreams of balance come true.

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It's never too late to change your behavior and learn to calmly perceive the world and people around you. Only after a woman begins to look at the world calmly and balancedly does she understand how much peace means in life. Your peace of mind is the key to personal and family well-being, a friendly climate at work and strong friendships.

In all eastern martial arts schools, such as Tai Chi Tsuan, Wing Chun, Qigong, a person’s ability to maintain “calm mind” and be relaxed was considered the most important criterion for the harmonious development of spirit and body. According to psychologists and psychotherapists from all over the world, if a person does not learn to control his emotions and is irritable, then he will not be able to effectively solve the tasks assigned to him, since the productivity of logical thinking and the state of physical health largely depend on the ability to be calm. How to learn to be calm in our turbulent times?

The ability to remain calm will solve the problem of any type of stress and depression, while increasing mental and physical capabilities. Where you need to start to learn to relax and not be nervous, as well as what types of effective practices exist for self-control are the main issues that will be discussed in this article.

Harm from stress

The human mind and body are closely connected. During stress, the brain commands the nervous system to take a “fighting position”; in this mode, the body begins to produce more resources, which leads to rapid exhaustion. A person who is very nervous quickly loses strength, because of this his mental and physical capabilities weaken. The nervous system begins to gradually deplete, diseases appear, uncontrollable outbreaks of aggression, they destroy life in all directions.

Clear mind = control and calm

Purity of mind determines your calmness, control of your reactions and behavior. And by controlling yourself, you control the situation as a whole. The logical question here would be “but what clogs our mind”? And it is clogged by numerous factors that stretch all the way back to childhood and accumulate like a snowball. Starting from childhood fears (for example, many in adulthood are afraid of the dark) to complexes, limiting attitudes, negative thinking and other mental crap that make our lives miserable and unhappy.

The beauty of the system is that it shifts the main work to the subconscious, and you only have to read the ready-made instructions. The work looks something like this: you read the instructions and go about your business, while the subconscious mind solves problems in the background. The ease of use and convenience is off the charts. And so far no psychotechnics can match the stability and quality of results.

Calmness and control come as you free yourself from metal trash. And, believe me, the average person has an amazing amount of it.

Alpha rhythm and its benefits

The body and brain are closely connected. The fact that the brain emits biowaves of different frequencies became known in 1928, when the doctor Berger placed two electrodes on his head and connected them to an electrical measuring device. One of the effective and healthy biorhythms for the development of a calm life is the “alpha” frequency.

The frequency of the alpha rhythm ranges from 8 to 14 Hz. This rhythm refers to the borderline state between wakefulness and sleep. At this frequency, the work of the left and right hemispheres is harmonized. The outside world begins to change places with the inside. Thanks to such harmony, a person begins to automatically relax, while mental and physical regeneration occurs. Scientists say that the alpha rhythm is one of the most useful and restorative states of the human body, which helps fight any type of stress and remain calm in any situation.

Relaxation method by Jose Silva

A significant contribution to the development of the practice of transitioning to the alpha rhythm was made by the famous Spanish parapsychologist José Silva. The goal of his practice is to train people to consciously enter the alpha range, regardless of the situation, in order to be mentally and physically healthy. This will also lead to rapid recovery of the body and increased mental abilities.
When practicing entering the alpha frequency - learning to relax, it is divided into the following stages:

  1. The person should be dressed in comfortable clothes. Then take a comfortable sitting or lying position, preferably in a quiet environment. Before the procedure, you can take a relaxing bath.
  2. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths, exhalation and inhalation should be the same in time and not sharp. If you breathe too quickly, the body will switch to a higher rhythm and the person will begin to get nervous.
  3. Mentally imagine the number 50, you can color it with a certain color. Start a slow countdown in the opposite direction, with each number counted, give yourself a mental setting for deeper mental relaxation.
  4. After the countdown reaches 40, you must simultaneously count the numbers and relax your body. You need to start from the scalp and end with your toes. You need to try to relax not only the external part of the body, but also the internal, focusing on the internal organs.
  5. After the countdown has reached number 1, you need to imagine any place on the planet where a person most wants to be. From this moment on, the person falls into a state of trance, the external sounds of the world are muffled, and he stops reacting to them.
  6. Start a new countdown from 10 to 1, after setting yourself up for an even deeper dive. After the countdown has ended, a phase begins when the subconscious is most receptive to commands.

You can use this state to program a feeling of calm in various life situations, or to build new settings for a specific situation in life. You can program the subconscious for various moments when a person begins to get nervous. How to learn to be calm in our turbulent times?

When a person counts in an ascending line, his body will begin to activate and wake up. Before this, you need to give yourself a mental attitude that when the counting is over, the person will feel healthy, filled with strength and energy. It is also necessary to make a snap of the fingers, which, with long practice, will replace mental arithmetic. This finger snap should be done when a person begins to get nervous in any situation.

With each practice, the ability to relax all parts of the body will be more effective, and the state of immersion will be deeper. When a person learns to enter the “alpha” state without self-hypnosis, he will become mentally strong and stop getting nervous over trifles.

Meditation

This practice came from ancient India, then practiced in the east. In the famous and popular worldwide Chinese gymnastics Tai Chi Chuan, the ability to be calm is a basic skill in the practice of rejuvenation. Calmness is achieved through a special mental state – meditation. Its task is to turn off the disorder of thoughts through internal concentration on some object or sensation and try not to react to the outside world. It is important to control your breathing. The most effective pose for meditation is considered to be the “lotus position”.

Meditation can be done in any environment. Some people use special music to help them achieve the desired state of practice. The most popular music is considered to be Indian, as well as “Schumann frequency”. The advantage of music is that it allows you not to react to the noises of the outside world.

The practice of Taoism as an effective remedy against depression

In Taoism, it is believed that each human organ has its own thinking, and if this organ is filled with negative energy, this will lead to illness and stress. Practice believes that irritation and mental breakdowns are a disease of a certain organ, so it needs to be transformed into positive energy, this should be done using the following techniques:

  • Practice the inner smile

It is considered the simplest and most effective in Taoism. During times of stress, it is necessary to feel from which organ the cold is coming. After this, begin to smile internally at him until he feels warmth and tingling. In the philosophy of this school, it is believed that the feeling of warmth means the concentration of vital energy. If the negative energy of the organ is completely transformed into positive, then the person will stop being nervous.

  • Foot massage

This type of massage is used as a medicine that Chinese doctors prescribe to their sick patients. It involves stroking the center of the foot with the edge of your hand. This procedure cleanses and rejuvenates internal organs and makes a person calm.

How does running affect your calmness?

Running is good for reducing stress and nervousness. Due to the fact that when jogging, hormones “endorphins” are injected into a person’s brain, he becomes calm and stops being nervous, regardless of the level of stress. Running also has a positive effect on the activity of the central nervous system.

Psychotherapeutic techniques

In order to solve the problem of fear of the unknown, which makes a person nervous, you need to try to switch to the surrounding reality. This technique is also called “being in the moment” and is recommended by all psychology books.

Prevention of nervous conditions

To prevent stress conditions, it is necessary to:

  • run at least 30 minutes a day
  • drink at least 3 liters of water per day
  • sleep at least 8 hours a day
  • walk in the park 2-3 times a week
  • Eliminate negative people from your life
  • switch your brain to positive thoughts

In conclusion

How nervous a person is will determine his physical and mental state, which may affect his health in the future. Therefore, if you remain calm in any situation and react correctly to it, then the problems as such will disappear on their own.

Emotional intelligence is “the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions and the emotions of others.” Low emotional intelligence, as a rule, leads to an inability to remain calm and provokes conflicts, and high emotional intelligence extinguishes these conflicts and gives a person the ability to remain calm under pressure and in the most unfavorable circumstances.

Conflict situations are an integral part of life. Even the calmest and most collected person goes through them at some point in their life. In most cases, people have no control over them, and the only aspect of conflict we can control is how we respond. We can learn to recognize, acknowledge and manage our negative emotions. What should I do for this?

1. Take deep breaths

Why: Staying calm and focused during conflict depends on your ability to relax your body. Shallow and shallow breathing is the body’s natural response to stress, so to get rid of this, practice deep breathing, which immediately involves common sense.

How to: Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. This type of breathing will stop the production of two stress hormones - adrenaline and cortisol.

2. Focus on your body

Why: Focusing on any physical sensations that arise during a conflict will allow you to consciously change them. When your attention turns to your body, you may notice tension, shallow breathing, and other signs that accompany stress.

How: When you notice your body starting to tense up, try returning to a neutral state by relaxing your shoulders and arms. This open attitude demonstrates positivity—and often defuses conflict.

3. Listen carefully

Why: a person will initiate an argument or some other conflict if he believes that he is not being heard. In addition, it is impossible to resolve a conflict without careful and active listening.

How: Focus all your attention on what the person is saying. Ignore any thoughts of interrupting him with your remarks. Once the person has finished speaking, you will already have the information you need to respond intelligently.

4. Ask open-ended questions

Why: Open questions are essential when resolving conflicts. First, they show that you are paying attention. Second, these types of questions show respect to the person by allowing them to articulate their thoughts.

How to: Learning to ask open-ended questions can be a little challenging. The main thing is not to ask simple questions that require short “yes” or “no” answers. Instead, use constructions that begin with the question words “what,” “why,” “why,” “when,” “where,” and “how.”

5. Keep your voice down

Why: the easiest way to escalate a conflict is to raise your voice, and on the contrary, speaking more quietly and softly, you extinguish the conflict. Volume and tone of voice are also linked to blood pressure. When the pressure reaches a certain point, it becomes more difficult to understand the meaning of what is being said.

6. We agree to disagree

Why: Not every conflict ends in mutually acceptable results. However, you can avoid making the situation worse by politely removing yourself from the conversation.

How: The law of interpersonal conflict is that there are two participants. It is necessary to remove yourself from the conflict under one of two circumstances: (1) the person becomes increasingly hostile or (2) the conversation, despite all your efforts, has reached a dead end.

Unless you're a self-awareness guru, at some point during a conflict you might get really angry. Humans are emotional creatures, and this ability to feel can be used both to our benefit and to our detriment. By following at least one or two tips from the six above, you will undoubtedly feel more confident in any conflict situation. By doing this, you will gain people's trust and respect for your calm and balanced nature.

How sometimes everyone lacks peace of mind. How much easier it would be to endure adversity if you learned to approach everything less emotionally and demandingly. Someone who knows how to control himself and looks calm no matter what happens is much more protected from negative consequences in his life than someone who is used to reacting too violently to everything. To protect yourself and your loved ones, you need to learn to be more calm and restrained than usual, or rather, become calmer. And this can be done at any age.


All diseases are caused by nerves

You can increasingly hear the phrase that all diseases are caused by nerves. Whether this is true, or just a simplified view of existing problems, does not matter. After all, in fact, it is how balanced a person is that can protect him not just from possible problems with psychological health, but also with physical health. Judge for yourself whether constant irritation, anger, hatred or breakdowns that end in screaming and scandals can have a beneficial effect on the psyche or the body as a whole.

In some cases, shouting out is the only way to relieve accumulated tension. But what is it like to hear this for those who are nearby, and the state of health after something like this leaves much to be desired. Therefore, it is much safer not to bring yourself to such a state. And this can be helped not only by discussing problems as soon as they arise on the horizon, but also by taking a calmer attitude towards them.

Learn to let go

Not everything that people worry about is as dangerous and should cause anger and indignation as it seems at first glance. Of course, most will immediately remember a lot of reasons why they cannot be calm. Lack of money, problems in your personal life, difficulties at work, nervous atmosphere on TV, and a lot of other small and big troubles that poison life.

Of course, they are difficult to avoid. To do this you need to be patient and put in some effort. But who said that the speed of their resolution depends on how much a person is nervous and worried. Quite the contrary, the more irritated and indignant he is, the more difficult it is to concentrate and deal with what is preventing him from living. And sometimes it makes it impossible. Because in anger, people do not notice clues, do not hear reasonable advice, are unable to ask for help, they only torment themselves and those around them, wasting their strength and energy.


Our energy is not limitless, it requires careful treatment and time for recovery, and such strong emotions spend it very quickly. And there is no longer any strength left to analyze the available information and take certain actions. Therefore, remember, being calm is not only necessary to protect your health, but also to make it easier to solve the most difficult issues. And this must be realized.

Change your attitude towards what is happening

But, even if you have a ready-made plan in hand on what you should do to be more calm, but not understanding what benefits it will bring, very soon you will give up on everything, and everything will return to normal. As you know, success can be achieved only by understanding why you need to endure all the difficulties that will have to be overcome on the way to your goal.


It is impossible to turn into a reasonable and calm person in a click. Everyone has their own character, attitude to life and mental characteristics. Some people are more excitable, while others have been endowed by nature with a strong nervous system and are difficult to anger. And no one can change this. We can only change our attitude towards what is happening in our lives and look at it from a different angle.

When you feel ready to achieve your goal, you realize that you really need it, then it’s time to change. Until that happens, don't waste your time. Otherwise, you will give up even more, and you will decide once and for all that nothing can be changed. Few people endure unsuccessful attempts. They give strength to only a few and force them to try again and again until the desired result is achieved. Everyone else is not used to giving their best and retreats immediately after the first failure, and no longer strives to change their lives.

Determine what type of people you are, and choose the moment when you can become calmer, and not receive another argument that this is impossible, and life will not let you relax for a minute.

Take time for yourself

When you realize that you are ready, start by setting aside time for yourself when no one can disturb you. Even if it’s only 15 minutes a day, it should belong exclusively to you. Don't let anyone invade your personal space and distract you. Given the existing workload, think about what you need to do to protect yourself from calls, requests or conversations, what you need to say to others or where to go so that no one disturbs you. And try to ensure that these 15 minutes are not only 2-3 times a week, but daily. And over time, it is advisable to increase this time. Take this time for yourself. It seems that this is unattainable, but you can be alone with yourself when you listen to music, read a book or watch TV. You just need to learn to disconnect from external stimuli.



In addition, this will allow you to be distracted even at a time when the boss decided to vent his anger, and a passenger in a crowded transport or a driver in a neighboring car showed his upbringing, but it turned out to be below the plinth. In general, you need to train yourself not to pay attention to those who mean nothing in your life.

Make comments

There is no point in overreacting to rude behavior. It is enough to make a remark so that they do not become even more impudent from impunity, but do this only if they cannot harm you and really did it on purpose, and not out of stupidity.

Get rid of irritants

It is better to get rid of those who are not intelligent at all as quickly as possible. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to evoke a feeling of peace, you cannot resist nature. And if someone or something really annoys you, there is one way: stop communicating and seeing each other, and do not watch such programs, do not read materials or narrow-minded and offensive comments.

Be sure to identify a list of irritants and start eliminating them from your life. Those that cannot be removed will have to be turned into something that will no longer have a negative effect.

Your reaction is your health!

Remember, not everything can be changed, but you can always change your attitude towards it. When someone is really annoying, imagine him in a stupid position, remember a funny story involving him or naked. Our dissatisfaction is often caused by the fact that we take everyone and everything too seriously. Bring some humor into your life. Laughter prolongs life.

Compared to real tragedies, the stupid behavior of another does not deserve attention at all. The same applies to lack of money and problems in relationships. After all, you should look for a way to correct the situation, and not use them as a reason for worry.

Constant thoughts that “Everything is lost Senya” will not resolve on their own, but you will waste time and the situation will become even more complicated. So get used to reacting to difficulties in life as a challenge that you are able to overcome once they arise, and not as an irritant.


The main thing is to believe!

Believe that you can do anything. It is unlikely that you would have survived to this day if you were absolutely helpless and unable to deal with any difficulties. This means you have no reason to be nervous. Show everything you are capable of, prove to yourself that you know how to be calm and collected when necessary, and everything else is too small and insignificant for you to continue to worry about any reason.

Also, don't try to solve all the world's problems. And be sure to sleep as much as you need; it’s better to stop watching TV series than to spend an extra hour sleeping. A tired nervous system is much more difficult to cope with stress. And, of course, engage in sports that give you pleasure, not forgetting about proper rest, which improves your mood. Haste and excessive stress are catalysts for poor and nervous health. Without proper rest, no nervous system, no matter how strong it is, will be able to cope with external stimuli.



Whatever you want to correct in yourself, the main thing is to understand why it is necessary. And then no one can stop you from achieving what you want. And having become much calmer than before, you will be surprised to notice how life around you no longer seems so nervous and difficult. You will find many things in it that will delight you and fill you with hope.


Learning how to be calm in any situation in the ocean of life is simply necessary. Problems rain down on the heads of the inhabitants of planet Earth as if from a cornucopia. Ecology, politics, social upheavals, economics, the psychological state of society as a whole and each individual individually - nowhere is there even a hint of stabilization of the situation.

Not everyone can isolate themselves from everyone with a high fence or go to a desert island - there simply aren’t enough islands and fences, but trying to become a self-confident and balanced person is possible for everyone.

Do I need this?

Holders of certain types of temperament initially possess this skill. It was born with them, and helps to maintain equanimity in all situations throughout life’s journey. We are talking about phlegmatic people who cannot be nervous, these unsinkable cruisers of calm and confidence. But, firstly, there are not so many pure types of temperament in nature, and, secondly, having mastered the techniques of how to learn to remain calm, you can teach this to your family and loved ones.

Those representatives of society should master techniques for regulating their internal state:

  • who find it difficult to control emotions;
  • who avoids difficult questions and difficult situations;
  • to whom every little thing gets on your nerves;
  • who are worried about upcoming difficulties, real or imagined;
  • who dreams of always being a discreet person.
By starting this path, you can radically change your attitude towards yourself and life, make it more comfortable, not get nervous in stressful situations, and begin the path to personal development and managing your health.

Why you shouldn't be nervous

Maybe, well, this training on having calmness? Everyone is nervous, and somehow they survive, and some also manage to look great at the same time, build a career, defend dissertations, and start families. However, not everything is so rosy; there are many reasons why you shouldn’t be nervous.
  • If you get nervous, you’ll lose control of the situation, and then whoever wants to take you with their bare hands.
  • If you get nervous, family relationships in all verticals (husband-wife, children-parents, etc.) will suffer.
  • If you get nervous, you will receive something like a boomerang effect from those around you, and your emotion will return to you, only in double the size. Do you need this?
  • If you get nervous, you will get vasospasm, and everything that follows (migraine, atherosclerosis, stroke).
  • If you get nervous, your body will begin to increase production of the hormone cortisol, which destroys brain cells and nitrogenous decomposition of muscles.
Should I scare you further or is that enough? Even one of the above reasons is enough to significantly worsen the quality of life of Homo sapiens (homosapiens). And since he is reasonable, then he needs to learn how to remain calm, be confident, and always remain a person in control of his emotions.

Learning to be calm

Before you start mastering techniques that allow you to experience and then return this blissful state at will, it is advisable to find a picture that will personify this calmness for you and place it in your immediate environment.

This could be wallpaper on your computer desktop, a wall calendar, a poster on the wall depicting a peaceful landscape, a sleeping child, sunsets and sunrises, a starry sky, in general, anything that will be a symbol of peace for you.

The following four techniques were proposed by the French psychologist E. Pigani, in order to artificially induce and consolidate a feeling of calm.

“Jar of Honey” - a technique for slowing down movements



You need to choose some routine action that you do every day “automatically,” quickly and without thinking. This could be cleaning the closet, washing dishes, taking a shower, making tea, or any other type of simple activity. Breathing slowly and deeply, you need to slow down your movements as much as possible.

Now attention is directed to every movement, to the feeling of contact with the object being used. To make it more believable, you can imagine yourself immersed in a huge jar of honey, and slow down your movements even more.

The purpose of this exercise is to stop being nervous, quickly recover in stressful situations, and feel your presence “here and now” with all the acuteness.

“Jar of Rice” - a technique for training patience



To do this, you need to count the grains of rice, transferring them from one glass to another. Have you recalculated? Write down how much you got, and then do everything in reverse order. The results, of course, should be the same. If you want to grumble, remember that in a Buddhist monastery you would be forced to number each grain of rice.

“Food Pot” - mindful eating



Attitudes towards food in the times of fast food and convenience foods, frozen desserts and ready-made meals from the supermarket have undergone significant changes compared to the beginning of the last century. However, the human body, both then and now, is able to send a signal of satiety to the brain only 20-30 minutes after the start of the action of digestive juices.

Start your first meal by eating slowly, chewing slowly, and slowly breaking off pieces of the served dish. You need to sit with a straight back and a straight neck, bring cutlery to your mouth slowly, and eat calmly. Signals of satiety will reach the brain on time, less food will be needed, a slim figure will be ensured along with the ability not to get irritated while eating.

“Empty Pot” - a technique for listening to silence



Every week you need to set aside five (just five!) minutes to listen to silence. Turn off all phones, TVs, computers, dim the lights. You need to sit comfortably, without tension, with your hands on your hips. The left hand rests on the right, the thumb of the right hand rests on the left palm, does not press on it, but simply lies there.

With your eyes closed, you need to focus on the sensations at the point where your finger touches your palm. In this position, listen to silence for five minutes. After two months, meetings with silence take place every day. During them you can think about good and evil. The feeling of how to remain calm will be consolidated over time, it can be easily evoked in order not to be nervous and to be balanced in any conflict situation.

Controlling negative emotions

Zen Buddhists believe that every negative emotion is a message that needs to be read and released. They compare negative emotions to fire and water, saying that it is easier to cope with a fire that has just started and a leaky faucet when you immediately begin to fix the problem. As always, this is easier said than done, however, there is technology here that helps put everything in order.
  1. Make a list of the 14 most frequently experienced negative emotions (anxiety, shame, hatred, melancholy, envy, resentment, etc.).
  2. Separate these emotions from your inner self. For example, not “I am jealous,” but “I feel jealous,” not “I am guilty,” but “I feel guilty,” continue according to the pattern.
  3. Remember the most severe attack of anger, its cause, your feelings at the same time, physical sensations. Well, where is this anger now?
  4. Let's return to the list from the first point. Now we need to determine what service each emotion served. “Anxiety helps you be alert.” “Embarrassment helps you adapt to strangers.”
  5. In the future, if you feel an increase in negativity, try to determine how this emotion can be useful. Most likely, now, having realized this, you will no longer become her hostage.
Such an analysis requires some time and desire. This is not such a high price to pay for the opportunity to always be confident and not get irritated in any situation.

For every stress there is... an anti-stress

If you want to assess the level of stress in your life, you can use the “social conformity scale” of American psychologists T. Holmes and R. Rahe, who rated every event in the life of an average person on a 100-point scale. In first place there is the death of a spouse (100 points), and in last place are New Year's holidays (12 points) and minor violation of the law (11 points).

The sum of points is used to calculate the level of stress and (attention!) the risk of getting sick. We don’t need such problems - to help ourselves and not get irritated, we will do “Anti-stress” exercises.

Let's pretend



The exercise is effective at any level of stress. You need to feign calmness, this creates a feeling of relaxation, and after a few minutes real calm comes. Here you need to be a bit of an actor, convince yourself that you are playing the role of a calm person. The secret here is that our subconscious always takes everything at face value - by believing you, it influenced the external state.

Smile and yawn



Every psychology textbook gives an example of how, when smiling, 42 facial muscles send a signal to the nervous system, triggering the process of regulating breathing, releasing muscle tension, and releasing “happiness hormones.” It works even with a forced, forced smile, and instantly. The same effect is produced by a wide yawn, which prevents irritation and brings relaxation.

Let's understand the world around us


The best remedy for increasing stress is to maintain contact with your own Self. To achieve this, you need to observe what is happening as if from the outside, to act somewhat detached. You must not lose attention and control over the situation; tell yourself all your actions. When you leave the house, say to yourself: “I am leaving the house.” When you wash the dishes, say to yourself: “I am washing the dishes.” When you turn on your computer, say to yourself, “I’m turning on the computer.”


Do you think this is too primitive? But “everything ingenious is simple,” you just need to try and make sure of the effectiveness of simple tips that will help you always be confident in your peace of mind and not get irritated over trifles.