Various situations happen in life. It happens that a conflict situation occurred with a person and you were insulted. Surely this has happened to everyone.
Be it random insults or special ones. With colleagues at work, or in a friendly company, or with a stranger in a store. Most often they insult intentionally, for some purpose, for example, trying to offend, humiliate, or show that the offender is better than you.
Insult- this is always unpleasant, so you need to know how to react to them. Those who do not know how to respond to insults can go into serious depression. Therefore, it will be written here about how to respond to insults.
First, in order to understand how to competently respond to an insult, you need to put aside all emotions. Especially fear. Otherwise, the offender may feel that you are afraid and then he will continue to insult you more.
He himself experiences fear, but sensing yours, he will become impudent and rude more and more every time. Therefore, remember that you are strong when you are confident.
You may be deeply offended by phrases that you consider to be true. But that's not true. So just make it clear to others. Start loving yourself, from your fingertips to your hair and your soul. There are no more people like you. Remember this. You are unique. Nobody has the right to be rude to you. You are good at everything that brings you joy. You are smart. You are beautiful. Say nice words to yourself every morning in front of the mirror, admire yourself.
Think carefully about why people try to offend people who are not like them? In fact, the answer is simple - people are afraid. They are afraid to look weaker than others, thereby insulting and humiliating you. Don't give in and don't let anyone insult you.
They try to appear stronger by humiliating others, but in reality the offenders are weak individuals.
Therefore, be smarter, be calm about unpleasant phrases addressed to you. remember, that this person is weaker than you and is simply afraid of being worse than you.
Nobody can insult you. If you are directly confronted, for example, in a store, because you are choosing something for a long time, or in line for a ticket you are paying for a long time, and they are shouting at you, then do not be silent! Go up to the person who is shouting at you and ask: “Who gave you the right to talk to me like that?”, “Who am I to you for you to shout at me? You can yell at your wife or son at home!”
This way you can force the offender to use his brains. Maybe he will understand the fact that everyone has the same rights. And if your boss or colleague insults you at work, then give him the Constitution of the Russian Federation. Maybe next time your colleagues will watch their language.
You need to remember that constructive criticism and insults are two different things. Just as criticism implies help in eliminating a person’s shortcomings, and when insulting, a person humiliates someone else’s dignity, while demonstrating his own. Therefore, there is not a drop of truth in insults and therefore you should not take them to heart and delve into yourself, thereby causing sadness and bad emotions in yourself.
Sometimes offenders use non-standard language and very rude phrases in order to offend even more. It happens that they use subtle insults, manifested through outright sarcasm and ridicule. In order to correctly respond to the words of the offender, you need to understand what insults are being thrown in your direction. For example, you don’t need to respond to insults with direct obscene words; you can simply use your knowledge of neurolinguistic programming.
There are overly emotional personalities who are not familiar to you, but landed in a public place. Such people may behave inappropriately and attack with their fists. Therefore, if you sense that a person is not friendly with the language, then simply ignore him. Why would you stoop to the same level. And a fight definitely won’t lead to anything good.
It is best to calmly react with an indifferent voice or ignore it. It turns out that you don’t care what he thinks and says. As a result, he will quickly fall behind. There are situations when you can respond in the same manner as you are addressed. You are a leader, you love yourself.
For example, At work with a grin they tell you that you are so ridiculous that you wore a wrinkled shirt. You can respond in the same spirit: “Thanks for your concern, but you’ve had bags under your eyes all week. What would this be connected with? And smile sweetly.
Interesting thing, when they try to give you a negative assessment of your appearance or your actions, try thanking the person. This will clearly confuse him and he will not find anything else to say. Serious companies have weekly meetings. Usually meetings look like this: the boss gathers his subordinates and begins to scold, sometimes shout, etc.
For those who are not pleased and offended to hear the boss scream, there is an interesting thing that is easy to do.
Just imagine that you went to visit a large aquarium, and your boss is a fish who only opens his mouth. But not a single sound is heard.
This wonderful psychological thing will help those who are nervous about the negativity of their boss. After all, you cannot respond to your boss with an insult or yell at him, but no one can stop you from listening to him.
If, after your vacation, your “favorite” colleague tries to tease you about how well you have recovered, then agree with him and smile. He may continue the conversation with the question, what will you do with excess weight? Tell him you've decided to be fat and you like McDonald's food and athletes don't inspire you.
How to respond to insults:
- The most important thing is to be smarter than the one who is trying to offend you.
- Do not stoop to the level of the offender, do not yell at him, do not use direct insults - this will only worsen the situation.
- Remember that the one who offends you is already in a losing position. You need to sincerely feel sorry for such people; most likely, life has already offended them.
- Everyone has the same rights.
- Answer using the same methods.
- You are a strong person.
- Turn off your emotions.
- Love yourself.
Remember that there is no exact way to properly respond to insults. After all, it depends on the situation and who is offending you. But thanks to this article, you can understand how to react to offenders.
Each of us sometimes has to deal with human rudeness and listen to offensive words and expressions addressed to us. Some people have a tense atmosphere at home, while others are very unlucky at work, where a scandalous atmosphere prevails, ready at any moment to explode in a stream of abuse and insults. So how to respond to rudeness and rudeness?
Why do you need to respond to rudeness and not remain silent?
Psychologists have found that every aggressive act from the outside gives rise to auto-aggression in a normal person, which over time results in a depressed mood, decreased performance, low self-esteem, etc. This reaction of the body does not bring anything good with it, and, therefore, you need to learn how to effectively protect yourself from manifestations of foreign aggression and the correct reaction to it.
Reasons for rude behavior
One of the most common reasons for rude attacks on a person is his underdevelopment. Such people are much more likely to become victims of rudeness than strong and self-confident individuals. Boors and rude people have a fairly well-developed instinct and will never get involved with someone who can give them a worthy answer.
If in front of them is a person from a different category, then why not amuse yourself and say something rude to him. Most often, the following types of people are among the offended:
- highly cultured and brought up in old traditions;
- having low self-esteem;
- trying to avoid conflict situations;
- with a high sense of guilt;
- fearful of hurting and offending other people.
In this situation, the reaction to rudeness may be different, but first you should work on your own so as not to be a constant victim of poorly behaved citizens. Finding inner strength will forever get rid of outside aggression, because a strong person cannot be an object of attack.
84 523 0 Hello! In this article we will talk about how to respond to an insult. When we hear negative statements addressed to us, insults, the first thing we do is react defensively, we want to snap back and respond “in return” to the offender. That's usually what it's designed for. The one who insults is trying to throw the other person out of emotional balance. How to react correctly in order to maintain self-esteem? Is it possible to remain calm when they want to humiliate you?Insult is usually inflicted by words, spoken or written. It can also be expressed in actions (spitting, hitting, indecent gesture, etc.).
Insults include:
- coarseness;
- rudeness;
- unfounded criticism;
- banter, sarcasm;
- using physical force against the will of another person.
How do we feel when we are insulted?
- Resentment
- Anger
- Disturbance
- Hatred
- Sadness, despondency
- Despair
- Annoyance
- Fear
- Guilt
- Confusion
- Contempt.
A whole set of negative feelings. Each of us is visited by one of them or several at once when we hear insults addressed to us. And these feelings largely determine what our response will be in a given situation. Therefore, their awareness is important in order to learn how to correctly respond to any attacks from others addressed to us.
Why do people insult others and be rude?
- Dissatisfaction with one's own life. When a person is unhappy, dissatisfied with his own personality, achievements, his environment, etc., he takes out his anger on others. They don’t even always realize why they insult others (both close people and strangers).
- Characteristics of temperament, strong excitability. Often people can insult someone or commit an offensive act against another person in a fit of anger, when they can no longer control their emotions. This often happens in a quarrel situation. When emotions subside and reason returns, many regret what they said or did and ask for forgiveness.
- Arrogance. There are people who unreasonably believe that some people around them are lower in status. Respectful and friendly communication is not their strong point.
- Self-affirmation at the expense of others. By humiliating others, some people feel stronger. Although this is just self-deception. Behind such self-affirmation, as a rule, there is self-doubt and an inferiority complex.
- Lack of culture and education. If the rules of politeness and tolerance were not instilled in childhood, then in adulthood this can result in rudeness and disrespectful attitude towards other people. And children, who mostly grew up on the street, were exposed to the unfavorable influence of their environment and became accustomed to communicating unkindly.
- Insult for the purpose of provocation. This method is resorted to when they want to piss a person off, to show him in a bad light in front of others, to damage his reputation. And all this usually happens in front of eyewitnesses.
Analyzing the reasons for rudeness, we understand that almost always behind it there is self-doubt, many complexes and the offender’s hidden dissatisfaction with himself. Such people deserve nothing but pity. After all, they are deeply unhappy. But unfortunately, when we are suddenly confronted with rudeness and insults, we cannot immediately realize it and remain unperturbed. Most often, we react in some way that is familiar to us, which is not always effective.
Unsuccessful ways to respond to rudeness and insults
- Insult in response . This is one of the most common reactions to rudeness and rudeness. Of course, such a technique is sometimes justified, and it even happens that you can emerge victorious from the situation. But you still cannot know for sure at what point your offender will stop and whether he will stop at all. Perhaps his resources will last for a long time, but yours are already running out. So is it worth the risk? Moreover, most likely, there will be an unpleasant aftertaste because they were forced to say all sorts of nasty things.
- Ingratiation, submission of will to the offender . Never allow phrases in the style of: “Yes, I agree with you, this is my shortcoming”, “Sorry for making you nervous with my behavior”, “I don’t like this about myself”, “Okay, I’ll improve” etc. So you completely lose your face and agree to depend on the one who attacks you. It's better to be silent for a while. Although there is a delay, a more worthy answer will definitely be found.
- Use of physical force . Some people are so offended by the words or actions of others that they are ready to resolve the issue with their fists. But here, you understand, it’s not far from the police.
- Try to convince, appeal to a person’s reason. Behind rudeness and rudeness there are always some emotions. First, you need them to calm down, and only then will logic and constructive thinking return. Therefore, it is useless to immediately try to “reason” with the attacker.
These methods are unsuccessful because:
- They require a lot of energy from us, it is emotionally difficult for us in moments of confrontation with the boor.
- We are dissatisfied with ourselves because we could not adequately respond to the insult.
- The situation of rudeness haunts us for a long time, we plunge into stress.
- There is a strong desire to take revenge on the offender, we feel hatred towards him.
- There is no feeling of internal rejoicing indicating that we have emerged victorious from the situation.
- Over time, it begins to seem that everyone around is rude and asserts itself at our expense.
Let us not forget that in any interaction with someone, it is not what we say that has the greatest influence on the interlocutor, but how we say it and how we look. When our face turns red with rage, our whole body is tense, our voice is at its maximum volume - the offender feels a personal victory, checking off the fact that he has pissed us off. Or when we withdraw into ourselves, lower our gaze, quietly mutter something and feel that we are about to cry - the boor again rejoices that he managed to suppress us with his pressure.
3 principles that promote successful resistance to rudeness and insults
- Respect and love yourself. People around you feel your attitude towards them. It is precisely those who are dissatisfied with their own personality who attract rude attacks and insults. And when we are in harmony with ourselves, understand and accept ourselves, then it is much more difficult to “drop” us, to make us angry.
Self-respect and self-love create an invisible but tangible protection from rudeness and rudeness. We advise you to read: .
- Believe in your strengths, you have them. With your determination to successfully overcome conflict situations and inner confidence, you attract positive energy and strengthen your personal resources. You will notice that even outwardly you become more impressive and bolder.
- Allow yourself to be. After all, you can do a lot of things. You have those who make you smile. And there are many pleasant moments around that are worth rejoicing at. It is important to realize that happiness is in our hands and we must accept it.
Happiness is a process, not some distant goal.
These are the three pillars of your inner harmony and success in relationships with others.
How to respond to rudeness
Task No. 1 is to monitor your behavior at the moment of “collision” and learn to at least outwardly demonstrate self-confidence and equanimity when this happens.
- Ignore the rudeness, remain silent. Quite often this can discourage your opponent. After all, he is counting on you to be indignant, to be nervous, to enter into an argument with him. And if this does not happen, then his further attacks are meaningless, and the offender can quickly calm down. In addition, you will preserve your emotions and health. We recommend reading:
Don't think that you look weak at this moment. Feel your inner strength and superiority, and those around you will feel it.
- Verbalization of feelings. Rudeness is usually associated with the experience of various negative emotions. Most often it manifests itself without mind control. It is important to voice these emotions.
- a) To direct the offender to awareness of his feelings, you can tell him: “Are you upset?” or “I understand that you are outraged by this”.
- b) Communicate your feelings: "I hate it when you say that". It is important to use the “I-statement” in this case.
Usually this method allows you to reduce the pressure of the rude person and slow down his offensive expressions.
- Ask a Question. If the situation has not yet gotten out of control, and the person has allowed himself to be a little rude, you can ask the question: “Why are you telling me this?” or “Why are you acting like this?” This tactic is effective only in relationships with close people and friends.
- Gather all your inner strength and respond without words using external signals, for example, by looking deeply into the eyes of the interlocutor for several seconds.
- If the situation allows, then you can simply stop communicating with the rude person. Example phrase: “Such communication is unpleasant for me, and I have to stop it for now!” Say this firmly and leave or hang up if the conversation was conducted over the phone. Often the offender cools down after such words, apologizes and asks to continue the conversation.
How to respond to insults
The response methods listed above will also be appropriate in situations where you are insulted. Here are a few more options for effective answers.
- Feel pity for the offender. As we have already found out, those who insult others are unhappy people, dissatisfied with themselves first and foremost. If your interlocutor speaks negatively about you, mentally feel sorry for him and feel how aggression and anger towards him decreases. After all, why be annoyed when he is so pathetic and unhappy? You won’t even want to waste your precious energy on this person.
- Let's use our imagination. To make the image of the offender even more pathetic, use the visualization technique. At the moment when he spews his insults, imagine him in some ridiculous form (a clown, a midget, a cockroach, a bug, in a funny headdress, etc.) You can also mentally fence off your opponent with a glass wall: you see him, but that’s all what he says cannot penetrate your side.
- Can respond to insults nicely. For example, thank you for attention to your person: “Thank you for your interest in me”. Or if you hear insults from a friend, you can answer him with a smile: “I’m crazy about you too!” or “Your statements will not stop me from loving you!”
- Make the offender accountable for his words. Ask for examples to support the criticism leveled at you. You can tell him: “How exactly does this manifest itself?” or “Prove that I...”
- You can answer your opponent with smart words. Clarifying questions often help to interrupt the endless stream of insults. For example: “What do you want from me?”, “Do you have anything to suggest?” Usually these phrases confuse the offender.
- Humor can also work in your favor in this case. The ability to respond wittily is always a good defense weapon.
Examples: “But from now on, I’ll ask you for more details, please,” “Listen, how do you manage to come up with nasty things so quickly? Or have you been preparing all night?”, “It’s really very hot here - your brain is already boiling!” - Call to conscience. You can openly ask your interlocutor: “How would you respond if you were insulted like that?” This will discourage him and turn his thoughts in a constructive direction.
All answers must be pronounced calmly and confidently. You can do this either seriously or with a smile (depending on the situation and type of reaction). Try to look your opponent straight in the eyes. This is an indicator of your courage.
How to respond to rudeness - example phrases
If we differentiate between rudeness, insults, and rudeness, then the latter most often comes from strangers, unfamiliar people, or people who are not particularly significant to us. Therefore, we must always have this attitude: everything that is said by those with whom we have no relationship should not make us angry.
Feeling pity for the boor or imagining him in a funny way, as in previous cases, are also effective techniques for coping with one’s own negative emotions at the time of a psychological attack.
The main rule is to never stoop to the level of a boor and not to use his own methods in response.
- Ignoring fits perfectly in this case. You don’t have to look at the offender at all (he is an empty place). Mentally imagine yourself, for example, as a stone or a mighty oak tree, the stability of which cannot be broken.
- Don't take everything said personally. After all, quite often it turns out that you simply fell under the “hot hand” (or rather, under the “hot” tongue) of a boor. And he, in turn, is angry at the whole world and his life, in particular. But he expresses anger in such an uncivilized way. All that remains is to feel sorry for this unfortunate boor and sympathize with him.
- Reduce the significance of what was said. For example: “Do you really think I care about your opinion?” or “Probably a very valuable point, but I’m purple!”
- Smile. A smile will strengthen your internal resources and cause bewilderment in the boor.
- It would be appropriate answer funny and sarcastically. This will defuse the situation and give you the opportunity to become the master of the situation. “You must have felt a lot better! Congratulations!" or “The public is delighted! You work for her, right?”
- Direct question: “You are being rude to me. Do you want to hurt me or do you have another goal?
- You can make the offender think twice: “Be careful in your expressions. They say that everything said can come back to you in double size.”.
- A cheeky answer. For example: “You are unoriginal, next time come up with something better.”.
- Rate the offender: “Rudeness does not suit you,” “I hope that rudeness is just your mask, and in fact you are better.”
- Let go in peace:“Don’t worry, and happiness will come to you. Less negativity - and everything will get better!”
It is important not only to prepare for situations of rudeness and be able to correctly respond to rudeness and insults, but also in general to pay attention to your approach to life and, if necessary, change it. Be positive in everything and don’t expect “kicks” from life and those around you. Value and love yourself, and other people will treat you the same. Don’t take everything too seriously, because it is one thing. Better let it beat at full strength, enjoy life and breathe deeply!
How to properly respond to insults
Useful articles:
Useful tips
No one wants to just put up with the rudeness and rudeness that can be heard in public transport, at work, online, and just on the street.
There is no need to play the role of the victim, but learn to react correctly to aggression towards you.
Obviously, for most people, being rude to them can have a negative impact. influence well-being, self-esteem and performance.
How to respond to rudeness
To be able to respond to rudeness, you first need to work on increasing your self-esteem.
It is worth noting that it is not easy to be rude to a person with a strong spirit.
And yet, if you urgently need to know how to communicate with a boor, then you can use one or more methods of struggle.
Responses to rudeness
Calm
When talking to such people, you should never show them that you are confused. Try to express your point of view frankly, firmly and openly.
Try not to get defensive and speak calmly and relaxed.
Most often, rude people are weak, envious people who have difficulty getting used to honesty and calmness, and sometimes do not know these words at all. They take energy for their negativity from precisely those people who succumb to rudeness and begin to get nervous. Don't let them "feed" on your nervousness.
Sneezing
This method is more suitable as a reaction to prolonged rudeness.
If the person who is rude to you cannot stop, you may well be able to help him do so.
First, try listening to him calmly until he himself is convinced that he is right. After this, sneeze loudly and demonstratively - there will be a short pause, during which you calmly say the phrase: "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." and politely add: "So where did you end up?"
Aikido
Simply put: you give me, I give you. This method transfers your interlocutor’s negativity onto himself. You just need to agree with his attacks against you, thank him for the time and effort spent emphasizing your shortcomings.
You can even praise your interlocutor for his attentiveness and the “advice” that you heard. Do this calmly and try not to show the caustic nature of your phrases.
It is worth noting that the more witnesses to the conflict, the better for you, because a rude person is unlikely to receive the necessary approval from the outside, and will most likely cause laughter and jokes in his address.
Boringness
This method can be used by administrators of forums, websites, blogs and social groups. networks.
Despite the fact that most community members are familiar with the general rules, some still deliberately violate them, after which they express dissatisfaction with the fact that their access was denied in private messages to administrators.
After all the arguments are over, these characters move on to outright rudeness and rudeness.
The easiest way is to simply ban, but if you want to prove that you are right, try without emotions, describe in detail all the offender’s mistakes. At first, the interlocutor will resist and continue to “have fun” with rudeness, but when he realizes that they are communicating with him dryly, without emotion, he will simply leave behind.
Ignoring
Perhaps the most famous and simple method of dealing with rudeness. Sometimes silence is not only effective and safe, but also beautiful.
If you don’t need anything from a rude person, or you are simply not psychologically ready to enter into a debate with him, or if the “interlocutor” is simply out of his mind and can harm your health, just ignore him. Rude people want to win your attention, don't give them this joy.
It is worth noting that you also need to ignore correctly. No need to include an offensive look and sighs- these are signals that you paid attention to him. Don't show any emotions, a boor is nothing to you.
How to respond beautifully to rudeness
There are several phrases that can be used when you are confronted with a rude person:
"Sorry, is that all?"
"I thought better of you"
"Rudeness doesn't suit you very well"
"Do you want a polite answer or the truth?"
"Why are you trying to look worse than you really are?"
“Like everyone else, I also have bad days. Don’t be upset, everything will work out for you.”
“Yes, of course, go ahead. May luck be on your side” (in case someone jumps in line)
"This role doesn't seem to suit you. What do you really want?"
"Thank you for showing interest in me"
"Do you want to offend me? Why?"
How to respond to insult
If you are accidentally or intentionally cursed, you should not take these words literally and take everything personally.
Understand that if the person who insulted you is in a bad mood or is simply not well brought up, this does not mean that everything is your fault.
In order to be able to react correctly to insults, you need, first of all, to know that the person who insults you in every possible way is himself a victim, namely a victim of the obstinacy of his character.
Most often, those who “attack” and try to humiliate others are weak individuals who are simply not able to cope with negative emotions, which prompts them to throw it all out on others.
What to do in response to an insult
If you are insulted by a stranger
The best option is to ignore it. Just try not to notice the one who is trying to insult you. Of course, there are times when you need to act differently, but most often you need to act as if the stranger is not there, and his words are an empty sound.
If you were insulted by a loved one
From the very beginning, try to dot all the I's. You should calmly and directly tell him that the words spoken hurt you. The right step would be to discuss the situation.
If you were insulted by a work colleague/boss
Under such circumstances, try to carefully avoid the conflict. If a co-worker tirelessly insults you and keeps you silent doesn’t help, try responding with a neutral barb.
In the case of a boss, conflicts are not needed, which means do not respond to insults. Instead, imagine your manager as a petulant, pugnacious little child.
In your head, pat him on the head, feed him porridge and help him sit on the potty. This is exactly the method that psychologists recommend. Not only will you survive the insults, but you will also be in a good mood, or at least it will make you smile and increase your productivity. In addition, the boss may also pay attention to your durability.
How to respond to an insult
The person who is trying to insult you wants to assert himself, to stand out, which means you need to give him a cold answer: “Well, have you asserted yourself at my expense?”
When listening to such a person, try to understand what the goal is, why they want to insult you.
* If you don’t know how to respond to an insult, then you need to know one important thing - no wellit is possible to reach the point of mutual insults and rash reactions.
Besides the fact that it may look stupid, you are also susceptible to manipulation, which may end in a trap for you. You don't have to play by the rules that are imposed on you.
*Another main rule - respond to rudeness calmly without losing your self-esteem. But it is worth noting that the cultural response to the “attack” of a boor most often does not produce any effect, because the game takes place on someone else's territory and not according to your rules.
* When it comes to trolling, or other similar situations, it is best ignore the offender.
* It happens that you need to answer, but you know that all your arguments simply will not work against a stubborn rude person. In this case, the best option would be turn around and leave.
* The person who insulted you or is trying to do so may simply be having a bad day. Therefore, from you it will be enough to ask: "Bad day?" . If a person is adequate, he will agree and may even ask for forgiveness.
But, if it comes to a troll, then such a question is not only inappropriate, but can also lead to additional insults towards you.
* Most often, responding to an insult is not a good strategy, and you can get away with it only by neutrally asking the person what he just said to you. Try to pretend that you didn't hear his words or didn't pay attention to them. In this case, only an outright boor will continue his “attacks”.
* If you find yourself in a situation where it is simply necessary to respond to the offender, or you are strangled by the desire to do so, do not rush at him. The main thing is to be calm, cold in words and expressions. It is advisable to silence insults with witty remarks and only after the interlocutor has finished his monologue.
* Sometimes an insult is more like a mockery. In this case, perhaps the best option would be to answer in the form of a joke, which not only will not offend the person, but will also maintain a normal relationship.
One of the common mistakes that people make is an attempt to justify themselves, they say, "no, you're wrong, it's not my fault". Firstly, such a strategy can make you humiliated, and secondly, trying to justify yourself is simply pointless, because... As a rule, no one listens to excuses.
Inconvenient questions
“How much does it cost?”, “When are you getting married?”, “What is your salary?”- these questions are annoying, and despite the fact that asking them is bad manners, some still cannot restrain themselves.
There are several situations you can consider, but first let’s note a few universal answers.
How to answer in an original way
- “I am amazed at your ability to ask questions that can baffle you!”
- “You are an amazing woman (man). I have always been amazed by your ability to ask uncomfortable (correct, difficult, rhetorical) questions!”
- “I’ll be happy to try to answer your question, just answer first, why are you so interested in this?”
- “For what purpose are you interested in this?”
- “Do you really want to talk about this?” If the answer is yes, then simply answer: "And I'm not very good" - and end the dialogue with a smile.
If you don’t really like the person and you have no desire to communicate with him, especially after an incorrect question, you can answer coldly: "It's my damn business."
- Ask again: “I understand correctly that...”
Questions about money
When you are faced with an unpleasant question, you have every right not to give the other person any specific answer. For example, to the question "How much do you earn?" you can avoid answering “Like most, the average salary in the industry (significantly less than Abramovich).”
You can also answer this question with a counter question. For example, to the question "How much is the jacket?" You can ask your interlocutor how much his jacket costs. Another way to answer this question is significantly overestimate or underestimate the figure and then turn the conversation into a joke.
Questions about work
“What do you do?”, “What do you do at work?”
When answering such questions, psychologists advise naming the profession that can give you more confidence in what you do. If your work is different, you do many different things, you can sort all the work for a month into sections. This way you will know what takes the most time.
Questions about your personal life
“Why isn’t there a girl (boyfriend)?”, “When is the wedding?”, “Why haven’t you gotten married yet?”
You shouldn't take such questions seriously. In response, you can ask your interlocutor why such an unusual question came to his mind. In this case, the interlocutor will find himself in an awkward situation.
There is another option - just answer directly as it is. For example, to the question "Why one more (one)?" Proudly admit that you are patiently looking for your soul mate, who would not leave you in difficult times.
The third option would be "mirroring". For example, "Am I correct in understanding that you don't mind holding a candle over my bed?" , or "...what, today, is your main task to discuss my personal life?" , or "...is interest in other people's troubles normal for you?"
How to respond to rudeness
Boors can be found everywhere. These are people who often experience pressure on themselves, which leads to rudeness as a weapon of defense.
Why are they rude?
Reason 1: Despair
A person is not having a good day - so he is rude. For example, a saleswoman who is tired from the whole working day, a client, a colleague who is brought to stress.
Most often, such people, after throwing out all their anger at someone, feel guilty and may even apologize.
If you decide in such a situation to respond with the same weapon, then the feeling of guilt will go away and the person will think that being rude is normal.
Reason 2: Self-affirmation
When a boor humiliates another person, he feels superior to him, especially if this person, for one reason or another, cannot fight back the offender.
Usually such boors have, albeit not great, but still power. They believe that they can just take their anger out on those who depend on them and get away with it unpunished.
Reason 3: The desire to be noticed
If rudeness is an integral part of a person, then its roots can be hidden in childhood.
A child always wants attention and love from his parents. If he does not receive this, then he begins to be rude so that at least some attention will be paid to him. As a person ages, he uses the same strategy.
Responses to rudeness
Method 1: Don't take everything said to you personally.
Often a person who is rude does not do it specifically to you - rather, it is anger at the world in general: ill-mannered youth, men are assholes, etc. and only the brute himself is white and fluffy.
One can only sympathize with such a boor, because... the world he lives in is not easy to live in. Remember, every person sees the world differently. If a boor says that you are an uneducated person, you can try to refute his statement with your knowledge, but this is unlikely to work.
Method 2: A boor should not become the master of the situation
Try not to give the boor power over the situation so that they don't feel stronger.
If your boss is rude to you, and it is impossible to get away from it, think about the fact that you are not chained to him for the rest of your life. You are not a slave, you are only doing your job professionally, i.e. you help him carry out his work, which means you can call yourself a partner in a certain business. You can demand more respect for yourself because... you have every right to do this.
Method 3: Remember your rights
When someone is rude to you in a public place, you need to fight not with the offenders, but with their superiors.
Find out your first name, last name, position and contacts. You can ask for a complaint book, if there is one. If this does not help, try contacting a consumer protection society or a lawyer.
Use your weapons - human rights and leverage. This method is suitable if the boor is an official, manager, waiter, security guard or other representatives of large organizations
Method 4: Use your imagination
Try to imagine the offender behind a glass wall: you see him, you notice that he is expressing something, but you simply do not hear.
You can also imagine a boor in the image of a big fish in an aquarium: it seems to be moving its lips, moving its fins, but it is not clear what all this is for.
If you watched the movie "The Matrix", then you remember the moment when Neo stopped the bullets fired at him. Imagine that the rudeness thrown at you is like bullets, and you are invulnerable, and all the rudeness does not reach you, falling with a ringing sound on the floor.
Method 5: Try to contact the boor
Try to find out the reason for the aggression. For example, you can say: “Now you are being rude to me, why do you need this?” or “You have a smile on your face and yet you say mean things, so I haven’t figured out how to respond to your words yet.”
Perhaps the person who heard you will think about his actions, look at himself from the outside and rethink his behavior. You can use this method when communicating with people with whom you will have to meet and talk more than once - work colleagues, acquaintances, relatives.
There is a chance that a person will look at himself from the outside and rethink something in his behavior.
How to respond beautifully to rudeness
Rudeness can be treated well with politeness, which frightens boors, forcing them to be careful when communicating:
- “You see, dear, I do not intend to communicate with you in such a tone.”
- "Dear, you may have confused me with someone"
If the boor just can’t stop after all your attempts, then save your nerves, wish him all the best and leave the place of conversation.
Sometimes a boor needs to be put in his place, otherwise by your silence you will make them stronger. A good answer can close the mouth of a boor. But remember, being rude to someone who is rude does not make you superior.
Try using humor. If someone is rude to you, smile and say "What a fool (fool, idiot) you are!" Such an act can anger the boor even more, whose reaction will make you laugh.
Smiling back often irritates a boor, so smile sincerely.
- “You deign to be rude to me... Why? Is your goal to offend me? Why?”
Answer in such a way that your word is the last and then the rudeness will stop.
Don't pay attention to the boor. Imagine the scenario in your head: “You are a leaf on the road... Everything passes by and doesn’t touch you.” .