speech etiquette
a system of stable communication formulas prescribed by society to establish verbal contact between interlocutors, maintain communication in a chosen tone in accordance with their social roles and role positions relative to each other, mutual relations in official and informal settings. In a broad sense, R. e., associated with the semiotic and social concept of etiquette, plays a regulatory role in the choice of one or another register of communication, for example, “you” or “you” forms, addresses by name or using another nomination, method of communication, accepted in rural life or in an urban environment, among the older generation or youth, etc. In the narrow sense of the word R. e. constitutes a functional-semantic field of units of friendly, polite communication in situations of addressing and attracting attention, acquaintance, greeting, farewell, apology, gratitude, congratulations, wishes, requests, invitations, advice, proposals, consent, refusal, approval, compliments, sympathy, condolences etc. Communicative stereotypes of R. e., without introducing new logical content into communication, express socially significant information like “I notice you, recognize you, want contact with you,” i.e., they correspond to the important goals of the speakers and manifest essential functions language.
The functions of R. e., based on the communicative function inherent in language, consist of interrelated specialized functions: contact-establishing (phatic), orientation towards the addressee (conative), regulating, expression of will, motivation, attracting attention, expression of relationships and feelings towards the addressee and the communication environment.
The speech situation in which R. e. exists is a situation of direct communication between communicants, limited by the pragmatic coordinates “I - you - here - now,” which organize the core of the field of linguistic units of R. e. The grammatical nature of these units is determined by the deictic indicators “I - you - here - now”, projected into the structure of the units (“Thank you!”, “Congratulations!”, etc.). The loss of the coordinates “I - you - here - now” by the statement takes it beyond the limits of R. e. (cf. “Congratulations!” and “Yesterday he congratulated her”). Units of R.e. formed by the simultaneous act of event nomination and predication and represent performative utterances-actions studied in pragmatics.
Systematic organization of thematic (and synonymous) series-formulas of R. e. takes place at the semantic level, for example in Russian: “Goodbye”, “Farewell”, “See you later”, “All the best”, “All the best”, “Bye”, “Allow me to say goodbye”, “Let me take my leave”, “Honour” I have”, “Ours to you”, etc. The wealth of synonymous rows of units of R. e. is caused by the coming into contact of communicants with different social characteristics during different social interactions. Marked units, used primarily in one environment and not used in another, acquire the properties of social symbolism.
R. e. is a functional-semantic universal. However, it is characterized by a clear national specificity associated with the uniqueness of the usual speech behavior, customs, rituals, non-verbal communication of representatives of a particular region, society, etc. The phraseological system of formulas of R. e. contains a large number of phraseological units, proverbs, sayings, etc.: “Welcome!”, “Bread and salt!”, “How many years, how many winters!”, “Enjoy your steam!” etc. Forms of address are also nationally specific, including those formed from proper names (see Anthroponymy). The term "R. e." first introduced in Russian studies by V. G. Kostomarov (1967). The actual scientific study of the R. e. system. in language and speech was started in the USSR (from the 60s of the 20th century - the works of N. I. Formanovskaya, A. A. Akishina, V. E. Goldin). Problems of R. e. are studied within the framework of sociolinguistics, ethnolinguistics, pragmatics, stylistics, and speech culture.
Kostomarov V.G., Russian speech etiquette, “Russian language abroad”, 1967, No. 1; Akishina A. A., Formanovskaya N. I., Russian speech etiquette, M., 1975; 3rd ed., M., 1983; National-cultural specificity of speech behavior, M., 1977; Formanovskaya N.I., Russian speech etiquette: linguistic and methodological aspects, M., 1982 (lit.); 2nd ed., M., 1987; hers, Use of Russian speech etiquette, M., 1982 (lit.); 2nd ed., M., 1984; her, you said: “Hello!” Speech etiquette in our communication, M., 1982; 3rd ed., M., 1989; her, Speech etiquette and culture of communication, M., 1989; National-cultural specificity of speech communication of the peoples of the USSR, M., 1982; Theory of speech acts, in the book: New in foreign linguistics, v. 17, M., 1986; Goldin V. E., Speech and Etiquette, M., 1983 (lit.); Austin J. L., Performative-constative, in: Philosophy and ordinary language, 1963.
N. I. Formanovskaya.
It is important for a modern person to have a certain culture and behave correctly with others, regardless of their social status. To do this, his speech must be correct and polite, and the rules of speech etiquette must be followed.
A good conversationalist is one who knows how to listen carefully, without interrupting and listen respectfully, sincerely empathize and be interested in the story.
What does it mean to be able to persuade a business partner to your point of view and influence him so that he does what you need in your interests, while respecting your own interests, that is, this is the ability to find a common language with your partner.
The specificity of speech etiquette is that it characterizes both everyday language practice and the language norm. Indeed, the rules of speech etiquette are used in everyday life by any native speaker (including those who have poor command of the norm), easily recognizing these formulas in the flow of speech and expecting their interlocutor to use them in certain situations. Elements of speech etiquette are absorbed so deeply that they are perceived by the “naive” linguistic consciousness as part of the everyday, natural and logical behavior of people. If you do not know the rules and requirements of speech etiquette, and do not comply with them (for example, addressing an adult stranger as “you”), others may perceive them as wanting to offend, as bad manners.
The basis of speech etiquette are speech formulas, example character, which depend on the situation and on the characteristics of communication. Any act of communication has a beginning, a main part and a final part. In this regard, speech etiquette formulas can be divided into 3 main groups:
1. Speech formulas for starting communication;
2. Speech formulas used in the communication process;
3. Speech formulas for ending communication.
Rules and norms of speech etiquette at the beginning of communication: address, greeting.
Address is one of the most important and necessary components of speech etiquette. After all, appeal serves as an integral part of communication and is used throughout the entire communication.
From time immemorial, circulation has performed several functions. The main one is to attract the attention of the interlocutor. This is a vocative function.
Since both proper names and names of people are used as addresses by degree of relationship (father, uncle, grandfather), by position in society, by profession, by position, by age and gender (old man, boy, girl), address in addition to the vocative function, it indicates the corresponding feature.
So, appeals can be expressive and emotionally charged, containing an assessment: Irochka, Irka, a bungler, well done, well done. The peculiarity of such addresses is that they characterize both the addressee and the addressee himself, the degree of his upbringing, his attitude towards the interlocutor, and his emotional state. The following words of address are used in informal communication; only some of them, for example proper names (in their basic form), names of professions, positions, serve as addresses in official speech.
Greeting: If the interlocutors are unfamiliar with each other, then they begin communication with an acquaintance. This can happen directly or indirectly. According to the rules of good manners, it is not customary to enter into a conversation with a stranger and introduce yourself. However, there are situations when it is still necessary to introduce yourself. Etiquette suggests some formulas:
Allow me to get to know you.
I would like to meet you (you).
Let me get to know you.
I would be glad to meet you.
Let's get acquainted.
Let's get to know each other.
When visiting any institution or office, when you have a conversation with an official, you need to introduce yourself to him using one of the formulas:
Let me introduce myself.
My name is Alexander Gennadievich.
Mikhail Sidorov.
Ekaterina Ivanova.
If the visitor does not identify himself, then the one to whom they came asks himself:
What is your (your) last name?
What is your (your) name, patronymic?
What is your (your) name?
What is your (your) name?
Official and informal meetings of acquaintances, and sometimes strangers, begin with a greeting.
In Russian, the main greeting is hello. It comes to us from the Old Slavonic verb zdravstva, which means “to be healthy,” i.e. healthy. Also, in addition to this form of greeting, a greeting is common that indicates the time of the meeting: good morning, good afternoon, good evening.
Speech etiquette of greetings also provides for the nature of behavior, i.e., the order of greetings. First to greet:
Man - woman;
Younger (younger) in age - older (elder);
A younger woman - a man who is significantly
older than her;
Junior in position - senior;
A member of the delegation is its leader (regardless of whether the delegation is local or foreign).
The initial formulas of communication are opposed to the formulas used at the end of communication. These are formulas for parting, stopping communication. They express their wish:
All the best to you!
Goodbye;
I hope to see you again: See you this evening (tomorrow, Friday). I hope we won't be apart for long. I hope to see you soon.
Speech etiquette, one way or another, is connected with the situation of verbal communication and its parameters: the personalities of the interlocutors, the topic, place, time, motive and goals of communication. First of all, it represents a complex of linguistic phenomena that are focused on the addressee, although the personality of the speaker (or writer) is also taken into account. This can best be demonstrated by the use of You - and You - forms in communication. The general principle is that you are a form that is used as a sign of respect and greater formality of communication; You are a form, on the contrary, it is used in informal communication between equals in age and position. However, the implementation of this principle may appear in different versions, depending on how the participants in verbal communication are related by age and/or service hierarchy, whether they are in family or friendly relationships; on the age and social status of each of them, etc.
Speech etiquette is revealed in different ways. It depends on the topic, place, time, motive and purpose of communication. So, for example, the rules of verbal communication may differ depending on whether the topic of communication is a sad or joyful event for the participants in the communication; There are specific etiquette rules associated with the place of communication.
Speech etiquette provides for several principles that are determined by the situation. The most common 3 situations are: solemn, working, mournful. Solemn occasions include public holidays, anniversaries of the enterprise and employees, receiving awards, birthdays, name days and significant dates of the family or its members, presentation, conclusion of an agreement, creation of a new organization, etc. For every special event and significant date, invitations and congratulations follow. Depending on the situation (official, semi-official, informal), invitations and greeting cliches change.
Invitation:
Allow me (allow me), I will invite you.;
Come to the celebration (anniversary, meeting..).
Congratulation:
Please accept my (most) heartfelt (warm, sincere) congratulations..;
On behalf of (on behalf of) congratulations;
I sincerely (warmly) congratulate you.
As in many other situations of interpersonal communication, congratulations must be extremely correct, appropriate and sincere. Congratulations are a socially accepted ritual of respect and joy for a loved one, but this is in no way a way of conducting a conversation or correspondence; congratulations should not contain purely personal topics and questions of the addressee of the congratulation.
A sad situation is associated with death, death, murder and other events that bring misfortune and grief. In this case, condolences are expressed. It should not be dry, official.
Formulas of condolences, as a rule, are stylistically elevated and emotionally charged:
I want to express (to you) my (my) sincere condolences.
I offer (to you) my deepest condolences.
I share (understand) your sadness (your grief, misfortune).
The listed beginnings (invitation, congratulations, condolences, expressions of sympathy) do not always turn into business communication, sometimes the conversation ends with them.
In everyday business settings (business, work situations), speech etiquette formulas are also used. For example, when summing up the results of work, when determining the results of the sale of goods, there is a need to thank someone or, conversely, make a remark. At any job, in any organization, someone may have the need to give advice, make a proposal, make a request, express consent, allow, prohibit, or refuse someone.
Here are the speech cliches that are used in these situations.
Gratitude:
Let me (let me) thank you;
The company (directorate, administration) expresses gratitude to all employees for…
In addition to official thanks, there are also ordinary, unofficial thanks. This is the usual “thank you”, “thank you”, “you are very kind”, “no need for thanks”, etc.
Politeness and mutual understanding.
Let's consider the relationship between such phenomena as etiquette and politeness. Since politeness is one of the concepts of morality, let us turn to the Dictionary of Ethics, which defines politeness as follows: “... a moral quality that characterizes a person for whom respect for people has become an everyday norm of behavior and a habitual way of treating others.” This means politeness is a sign of respect. Politeness is both a willingness to provide a service to someone who needs it, and delicacy, and tact. And, naturally, timely and appropriate speech manifestation - speech etiquette - is an integral element of politeness.
If politeness is a form of showing respect for another, then respect itself presupposes recognition of the dignity of the individual, as well as a sensitive and sensitive attitude towards another.
Rules and norms of speech etiquette at the end of communication: farewell, summarizing and compliments.
End of communication: At the end of a conversation, the interlocutors use formulas for parting and ending communication. They express their wish:
All the best to you!;
Goodbye!;
Hope for a new meeting (See you in the evening (tomorrow, Sunday);
I hope for a short separation. I hope to see you soon.
In addition to the usual forms of farewell, there is a long-established ritual of compliments. A tactfully and timely compliment lifts the mood of the recipient and sets him up for a positive attitude towards the interlocutor.
A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, during a meeting, acquaintance, or during a conversation, when parting. A compliment is always nice. Only an insincere compliment, a compliment for the sake of a compliment, an overly enthusiastic compliment are dangerous. The compliment refers to appearance, speaks of the recipient’s good professional abilities, his high morality, and gives an overall positive assessment:
You look good (wonderful).
You are (so, very) charming (kind, beautiful, practical).
You are a good (excellent, wonderful) specialist.
It’s a pleasure (excellent, good) to do business (work, cooperate) with you.
It was very nice to meet you!
You are a very nice (interesting) person (interlocutor).
When parting and saying goodbye, according to custom, there are verbal clichés. They are called parting words. They originate from antiquity, when they were almost spells, for example, “the path is like a gulley,” “neither fluff nor feather,” etc. It was believed that a happy journey or the success of some business depended on parting words. Now the parting words have been simplified: “Goodbye”, “All the best”, “Farewell”, “You will be healthy”.
Features of speech etiquette during distance communication: communication via telephone, Internet.
Scientific and technological progress has introduced a new culture of communication into etiquette - communication using the telephone. ON THE. Akishina in her book “Speech Etiquette of Russian Telephone Conversations” writes:
“The etiquette of a telephone conversation requires a short course of time, which is caused by the following reasons: the impossibility of a conversation with many subscribers at once, the daily routine of the recipient of the call is unexpectedly and unplanned, the telephone is intended to resolve urgent issues, the time of the telephone conversation is paid.
As can be seen from the above, a telephone conversation is a form of oral spontaneous dialogue carried out using technical means.”
Unlike contact oral communication, a telephone conversation is indirect. The interlocutors do not see each other, and therefore communication takes place without such important means of non-verbal communication as somatism (gestures, posture, facial expressions), reliance on the situation, the significance of the spatial location of the interlocutors, and this leads to the activation of verbal expression.
Among the etiquette requirements for oral speech, the intonation of the statement occupies an important place. A native speaker can accurately identify the entire range of intonations - from emphatically polite to dismissive. Although it is unlikely to be possible to determine which intonation corresponds to speech etiquette and which goes beyond it, in general terms, without taking into account the specific speech situation. The same statements pronounced with different intonations express different oppositions: in meaning, in actual division, in stylistic shades, and including in expressing the attitude of the speaker to the listener.
This relationship can determine which intonation structure should be used in a given case and which should not. Thus, in accordance with etiquette rules, intonation should not indicate a dismissive or patronizing attitude, an intention to lecture the interlocutor, aggression or challenge. This is especially true for various kinds of interrogative statements.
In addition to intonation, oral speech is distinguished from written speech by the use of paralinguistic signs - gestures and facial expressions. From the point of view of speech etiquette, the following paralinguistic signs are distinguished: those that do not carry a specific etiquette load; required by etiquette rules (bows, handshakes, etc.); having an invective, offensive meaning.
At the same time, the regulation of gestures and facial expressions covers not only the last two categories of signs, but also signs of a non-etiquette nature - up to purely informative ones; cf., for example, the etiquette prohibition of pointing a finger at the subject of speech.
In addition to all this, the requirements of speech etiquette can extend to the paralinguistic level of communication as a whole. For example, in Russian speech etiquette it is prescribed to refrain from too animated facial expressions and gestures, as well as from gestures and facial movements that imitate elementary physiological reactions.
It is significant that the same gestures and facial movements can have different meanings in different linguistic cultures.
Conclusions on the first chapter
Every native speaker should strive to improve their own speech culture; they need to know and understand the expressive means of the Russian language, be able to use them, be able to use the stylistic and semantic riches of the Russian language in all its structural diversity. When using speech etiquette, social information is transmitted about the speaker and his addressee, about whether they are familiar or unfamiliar, about their official and social status, about personal relationships, about the setting in which the conversation is being conducted (official or informal), etc.
Any society at any moment of its existence is heterogeneous, multifaceted, and that for each layer and layer there is both its own set of etiquette means and neutral expressions common to all. And there is an awareness that in contacts with another environment it is necessary to choose either stylistically neutral or means of communication characteristic of this environment.
schoolboy speech etiquette teacher
Speech etiquette
– a set of rules of speech behavior accepted by society in relevant areas and situations of communication. Speech behavior is regulated by social hierarchy, national culture and etiquette, ritual, education of the linguistic personality, and constant practice controlled by consciousness.
In social contacts, to maintain communication in the right tone, etiquette formulas are used - multi-level linguistic units (full-nominal word forms, words of incomplete-nominal parts of speech - (particles, interjections), phrases and whole phrases adopted in certain situations, in different social groups. Social symbolism of etiquette formulas emphasized the French stylist C. Bally. He wrote: “The situation is as if speech phenomena absorb the smell inherent in the environment and the circumstances in which they are usually used... Thus, they manage to symbolize, evoke in consciousness an idea of this group (people - auto) with her way of life or forms of activity." Units of speech etiquette reflect the constant social characteristics of the participants in communication: their age, degree of education, upbringing, place of birth, upbringing and residence, gender, as well as variable social roles (comrade, patient, client, policeman and etc.).
Usually more than ten most important etiquette positions (situations) are named, which are clearly different and have their own etiquette vocabulary, which is characterized by a variety of options: addressing and attracting attention, acquaintance, greeting, farewell, apology, gratitude, congratulation, wish, compliment, sympathy, invitation, request , consent, refusal.
In the scientific, business, socio-political, and everyday spheres, not only are typical situations of R. e. repeated, but new ones are also created. For example, in the scientific sphere of communication, the area of speech etiquette includes the rules of self-manifestation of the author of a scientific work, and in the business sphere, in particular, in judicial communication, the rules for expressing attitude towards defendants and victims. Thus, a number of situations of R. e. not closed, but, on the contrary, open to a wide area of socially and nationally specific stereotypes of communication.
In conditions of spontaneous communication, communicants are required to be “automatic” in the selection and use of “polite words.” Speech etiquette is learned both in practical speech activity and in the process of special, targeted training or self-study. Let us name the speech formulas of the most socially significant situations, where in modern conditions violations of etiquette norms are most often encountered.
Appeals: direct appeals: Ladies and Gentlemen! Citizen! Mister!- official; Comrade!- official (Armenian); Brothers and sisters!– sublime; Friends!- torzh.; Pavel Antonovich! Colleague! Dear! Young man!- commonly used; Madam!- ironic; Young woman! Guys!– decomposed; Old man!- familiar – Man! Woman! Guys! Mother! Mother! Father! Kuzmich! Ivanovna!- space; contact formulas: Do not refuse kindness... Be kind!- official; Sorry..., Sorry to bother you..., Sorry...; Tell me please…; Please! Won't you tell me?- commonly used; Tell…– decomposed; Listen...; Could you please tell me...?- space.
Greetings: Greetings! Let me (let me) welcome you! Glad to welcome (see) you!- official, ceremonial; I wish you good health!- official (Armenian); Hello! Good afternoon (morning, evening)! Good morning! Welcome! How are you doing?- commonly used; Welcome! Hello! What's new? How are you? Long time no see!– decomposed; My regards! Hi! Ours to you!– ironic, joking; Hello!- slang.
Dating without an intermediary: Let me introduce myself! Let me (let me) (meet) you! Nice to meet you!- official; My name is …; Let's get to know each other!– neutral; through an intermediary: Let me introduce you! Let me introduce you! Meet me please!- official; Meet us!- commonly used Let's get acquainted! Let's get acquainted!– colloquial
Apologies: I have to apologize- official; I kindly ask you to forgive me! I offer (you my) (deep) apologies!- ceremony; Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry to trouble you! Excuse me, please! Sorry for…- commonly used
Modern etiquette figures of speech have often lost their original meaning (for example, 'Thank you'- God save you; 'Please'- perhaps, come and enter my house; 'Thank you'- I give you a benefit). Many formulas are allegorical, metaphorical ( I apologize to you; allow me to take my leave; I don’t know how to thank you; don't judge me harshly).
Means R. e. stable (close to phraseological units, for example: Enjoy Your Bath! Welcome! Please love and respect! You are welcome to our hut!). Despite such stability and standardization, they are flexible and easy to vary. At the same time, they form extensive synonymic series, differing in their attachment to specific situations (officially, unofficially), to social groups and layers (commonly used, widely used (colloquially), narrowly used, i.e. colloquially, slang), expressive-emotional shades (neutral, sublimely, solemnly, ceremoniously, playfully, ironically).
While maintaining the “etiquette frame” of texts of different functional styles, the author must consciously select from the synonymous range only those means that are determined extralinguistically, i.e. goals, objectives, conditions of communication. Indeed, humorous, friendly addresses, appropriate in private correspondence, do not at all correspond to the style of official business letters. In the scientific field, in order to preserve the objectivity of the presentation, which is necessary here, it is not customary to categorically express disagreement with the opponent’s point of view (a negative assessment is softened, indirectly expressed using euphemisms). In the socio-political sphere, neutralizing assessment in speech is impossible in principle, because communication here involves open expression of one’s position.
In the use of etiquette phrases, the role of intonation (it should be friendly) and non-verbal means of communication (truthful facial expression, especially the eyes, as well as gestures, facial expressions, postures, and body movements) is enormous.
R. e. opposed to "anti-etiquette". However, it is not only the incorrect choice of formulas that can manifest a lack of command of speech etiquette. His violations are varied and are found in: tactlessness, cheeky familiarity, rudeness (of a boss towards his subordinates, a student towards a teacher, young towards old, men towards women, in the family); in orderly administration, insult, humiliation, abuse, swearing (in communication between boss and subordinate, service workers and clients, teachers and students, officials and visitors, husband and wife, parents and children).
R. e. - an integral element of the culture of the people, an important part of the culture of behavior and communication, a product of human cultural activity. The main features of national Russian etiquette can be formulated as maxims of etiquette speech behavior. The speaker should: show only a kind attitude towards the interlocutor through appropriate politeness (taking into account the age, gender, official or social status of the addressee); do not impose your own opinions and assessments on your interlocutor, be able to take your partner’s point of view; select linguistic means in accordance with the chosen tone of the text, focusing not only on the communication situation as a whole, but also on the formality or informality of the situation; do not interrupt the interlocutor; respond adequately to the request and the question posed by the interlocutor; use the possibilities of non-verbal means of communication.
All these rules are based on the principles of cooperation (with a partner in achieving communication goals) and the principle of politeness (respect for the partner), i.e. tolerance, harmony of speech communication.
The study of Russian speech etiquette began with an article by V.G. Kostomarov "Russian speech etiquette" (1967). In recent decades, thanks primarily to the works of N.I. Formanovskaya, R. e. becomes the subject of linguistic research. Moreover, scientific research is carried out in different aspects: linguocultural ( Akishina, Formanovskaya, 1975), pragmatic ( Formanovskaya, 1982, 1989), sociolinguistic ( Goldin, 1978), methodical ( Lazutkina, 1998; Smelkova, 1997). As a result, multi-level linguistic means used in communication as etiquette formulas were identified, the semantics of these units and their social meanings were determined ( Formanovskaya). The classification of these formulas according to situations has received scientific justification. Thus, their social and stylistic markings were revealed, and the national specificity of Russian R. e. was determined. in comparison with some other languages (in particular with the Hungarian and Czech languages, see the book: Formanovskaya N.I., Sepeshi E., 1986; Formanovskaya N.I., Tuchny P.G., 1986; Formanovskaya, 1989). Etiquette dialogue and its genres have been studied: apology, gratitude, praise, etc. ( Arutyunova, 1970; 1998). In recent years, there has been an intensification of research on speech etiquette in the genological aspect ( Tarasenko, 2000). In connection with the updating of linguistic and methodological research, a study of the use of R. e. has begun. in different areas of communication, for example, in the business sphere ( Smelkova, 1997; Koltunova, 2000).
Lit.: Kostomarov V.G. Russian speech etiquette. – RYAZR. – 1967. – No. 1; Arutyunova N.D. Some types of dialogic reactions and “why” - replicas in Russian. – FN. – 1970. – No. 3; Her same: Man and his world. – M., 1998; Akishina A.A., Formanovskaya N.I. Russian speech etiquette. – M., 1975; Them: Etiquette of Russian writing. – M., 1986; Goldin V.E. Speech and etiquette. – M., 1978; Formanovskaya N.I. Russian speech etiquette: linguistic and methodological aspects. – M., 1982; Hers: The use of Russian speech etiquette. – M., 1982; Hers: Speech etiquette and culture of communication. – M., 1989; Hers: Speech etiquette. – LES; Formanovskaya N.I., Sepesi E. Russian speech etiquette in the mirror of Hungarian. – M.; Budapest, 1986; Formanovskaya N.I., Tuchny P.G. Russian speech etiquette in the mirror of Czech. – M.; Prague, 1986; Akishina A.A. Russian telephone conversation etiquette. – M., 1990; Vereshchagin E.M., Kostomarov V.G. Language and culture. – 4th ed. – M., 1990; Smelkova Z.S. Business person: culture of verbal communication. – M., 1997; Lazutkina E.M. Ethics of speech communication and etiquette formulas of speech // Culture of Russian speech. – M., 1998; Tumina L.E. Speech etiquette // Pedagogical speech science. Dictionary-reference book. – M., 1998; Tarasenko T.V. Etiquette genres of Russian speech: gratitude, apology, congratulations, condolences: Author's abstract....cand. Philol. n. – Krasnoyarsk, 1999; Koltunova M.V. Language and business communication: Norms, etiquette. – M., 2000.
L.R. Duskaeva, O.V. Protopopova
Stylistic encyclopedic dictionary of the Russian language. - M:. "Flint", "Science". Edited by M.N. Kozhina. 2003 .
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It's finished! Your boss has invited you to a dinner party. Finally, you have the opportunity to see many important people there, and perhaps make influential acquaintances. It would seem that you have nothing to worry about - you have long learned in which hand to hold a fork and spoon, how to behave at the table, and in general, you are prepared according to all the rules of etiquette. However, there is one caveat - your speech and ability to conduct small talk may not leave the best impression of you. The thing is that in the Russian language there is also etiquette, only verbal.
Russian speech etiquette is the rules and norms of communication formed under the influence of national culture. Their main principle is politeness and respect for the interlocutor. It is also worth remembering where and how to apply speech etiquette. Different countries have their own rules of polite communication, but if you are not abroad, you must follow the rules of address in Russian speech etiquette.
The main thing is that your speech matches the situation in which communication takes place. Two directions can be decisive when choosing a form of speech. Firstly, the setting - formal or informal. Secondly, it matters to which person your speech is addressed. Here it is worth taking into account his gender, age, the degree of your acquaintance with the interlocutor, his personal merits and social status. It is also worth remembering who to greet first if at a particular meeting you will meet many people with whom you already know. So, who do they greet first:
- the man greets the woman first;
- if a woman is significantly younger than a man in age, then she is obliged to greet him first;
- the same applies to all other cases. If an older and younger person meet, the younger one always greets the older one first;
- the junior in position also greets the senior in position;
- a member of a delegation is always the first to greet its leader;
Formulas of Russian speech etiquette
The peculiarities of Russian speech etiquette lie in certain words, phrases and fixed expressions. They are used in three stages of conversation: at the beginning of the conversation, or introduction, the main part of the conversation and the final part of the conversation. For competent interaction of all three stages, as well as for using the norms and rules of communication, the formulas of Russian speech etiquette are used. Basic formulas, such as a polite greeting or gratitude, are learned from childhood. With age, speech etiquette acquires more and more subtleties. Let's consider speech formulas used in different situations:
1. Starting a conversation, greeting:
- health wishes: hello;
- use of meeting time: good afternoon, good evening;
- emotional greeting: very glad;
- respectful greeting - my respects.
2. The main part of the conversation. The formulas for this part of the conversation are used depending on the event during which communication occurs. This could be a festive meeting, or a sad event associated with the loss of loved ones or other unfortunate events. This also includes conversation in a normal everyday setting.
Forms of communication in a festive setting have two types - an invitation to the event itself and congratulations if you have already come to the holiday.
- Invitation: come, we will be glad, let me invite you, I invite you, may I invite you.
- Congratulations: I congratulate you with all my heart, please accept our congratulations, allow me to congratulate you, we congratulate you on behalf of the team.
- Sad events. At events that have a tinge of grief and sadness, it is necessary to use forms expressing sympathy and condolences: accept my condolences, I offer you my sincere condolences, I mourn with you, I offer you my heartfelt condolences, allow me to express my deepest condolences, I sincerely sympathize with you, hang in there.
- Everyday work environment. Communication with superiors and colleagues includes a lot of features of speech etiquette. These could be requests, compliments, advice and gratitude. Also, in a work environment, it is impossible to do without refusing and agreeing to the interlocutor’s requests:
- advice: I would advise you, let me offer you, I would like to offer you, let me give you advice;
- request: if it doesn’t bother you, I earnestly ask you, don’t consider it difficult, may I ask you;
- gratitude: thank you very much, I express my gratitude to you, let me thank you, I am very grateful to you;
- compliment: you are an excellent conversationalist, you look great, you are an excellent organizer;
- agreement: ready to listen to you, please, I don’t mind, do as you think is right;
- refusal: I have to refuse you, I am unable to help you, I cannot fulfill your request.
3. Ending the conversation. Depending on how the conversation proceeded, farewell to the interlocutor can take different forms.
SPEECH ETIQUETTE
1. Specifics of Russian speech etiquette
Speech etiquette is a system of rules of speech behavior and stable formulas for polite communication.
Possession of speech etiquette contributes to the acquisition of authority, generates trust and respect. Knowing the rules of speech etiquette and observing them allows a person to feel confident and at ease, and not experience awkwardness or difficulties in communication.
Strict adherence to speech etiquette in business communication leaves clients and partners with a favorable impression of the organization and maintains its positive reputation.
Speech etiquette has national specifics. Each nation has created its own system of rules of speech behavior. In Russian society, such qualities as tact, courtesy, tolerance, goodwill, and restraint are of particular value.
The importance of these qualities is reflected in numerous Russian proverbs and sayings that characterize ethical standards of communication. Some proverbs point to the need to listen carefully to your interlocutor: A smart person does not speak, an ignorant person does not allow him to speak. Tongue - one, ear - two, say once, listen twice. Other proverbs point out typical mistakes in constructing a conversation: Answers when he is not asked. Grandfather talks about chicken, and grandmother talks about duck. You listen, and we will remain silent. A deaf man listens to a mute man speak. Many proverbs warn about the danger of an empty, idle or offensive word: All a person’s troubles come from his tongue. Cows are caught by the horns, people by the tongue. A word is an arrow; if you release it, you will not get it back. What is unspoken can be expressed, what has been said cannot be returned. It's better to understate than to overtell. It buzzes from morning to evening, but there is nothing to listen to.
Tactfulness is an ethical norm that requires the speaker to understand the interlocutor, avoid inappropriate questions, and discuss topics that may be unpleasant for him.
Consideration lies in the ability to anticipate possible questions and wishes of the interlocutor, the willingness to inform him in detail on all topics relevant to the conversation.
Tolerance means being calm about possible differences of opinion and avoiding harsh criticism of the views of your interlocutor. You should respect the opinions of other people and try to understand why they have this or that point of view. Closely related to such a character quality as tolerance is self-control - the ability to calmly respond to unexpected or tactless questions and statements from an interlocutor.
Goodwill is necessary both in relation to the interlocutor and in the entire structure of the conversation: in its content and form, in intonation and choice of words.
2. Technique for implementing label forms
Any act of communication has a beginning, a main part and a final part. If the addressee is unfamiliar to the subject of speech, then communication begins with acquaintance. Moreover, it can occur directly or indirectly. Of course, it is advisable to have someone introduce you, but there are times when you need to do it yourself.
Etiquette offers several possible formulas:
Let me get to know you.
I'd like to meet you.
Let's get acquainted.
Let's get to know each other.
When contacting an institution by phone or in person, it becomes necessary to introduce yourself:
Let me introduce myself.
My last name is Sergeev.
My name is Valery Pavlovich.
Official and informal meetings of acquaintances and strangers begin with a greeting.
Official greeting formulas:
Hello!
Good afternoon
Unofficial greeting formulas:
Hello!
The initial formulas of communication are opposed to the formulas used at the end of communication; they express the wish: All the best (good)! or hope for a new meeting: See you tomorrow. Until the evening. Goodbye.
During communication, if there is a reason, people make invitations and express congratulations.
Invitation:
Let me invite you...
Come to the celebration (anniversary, meeting).
We'll be glad to see you.
Congratulation:
Let me congratulate you on...
Please accept my sincere (heartfelt, warm) congratulations...
Warm congratulations...
The expression of the request should be polite, delicate, but without excessive ingratiation:
Do me a favor...
If it’s not difficult for you (if it’s not difficult for you)…
Please be kind...
May I ask you...
I beg you very much...
Advice and suggestions should not be expressed in a categorical manner. It is advisable to formulate advice in the form of a delicate recommendation, a message about some important circumstances for the interlocutor:
Let me draw your attention to...
I would suggest you...
The wording of refusal to fulfill a request may be as follows:
- (I) cannot (unable, unable) to help (allow, assist).
It is currently not possible to do this.
Please understand that now is not the time to make such a request.
Sorry, but we (I) cannot fulfill your request.
I am forced to refuse (prohibit, not allow).
3. Interaction of speech and behavioral etiquette
Etiquette is closely related to ethics. Ethics prescribes the rules of moral behavior (including communication), etiquette presupposes certain manners of behavior and requires the use of external formulas of politeness, expressed in specific speech acts.
Compliance with etiquette requirements when violating ethical standards is hypocrisy and deception of others. On the other hand, completely ethical behavior that is not accompanied by adherence to etiquette will inevitably make an unpleasant impression and cause people to doubt the moral qualities of the individual.
In oral communication, it is necessary to observe a number of ethical and etiquette standards that are closely related to each other.
Firstly, you must treat your interlocutor with respect and kindness. It is prohibited to offend or insult your interlocutor with your speech, or to express disdain. Direct negative assessments of the communication partner’s personality should be avoided; only specific actions can be assessed, while maintaining the necessary tact. Rude words, a cheeky form of speech, an arrogant tone are unacceptable in intelligent communication. And from a practical point of view, such features of speech behavior are inappropriate, because never contribute to achieving the desired result in communication.
Politeness in communication presupposes an understanding of the situation, taking into account the age, gender, official and social status of the communication partner. These factors determine the degree of formality of communication, the choice of etiquette formulas, and the range of topics suitable for discussion.
Secondly, the speaker is instructed to be modest in self-assessments, not to impose his own opinions, and to avoid being too categorical in speech.
Moreover, it is necessary to put the communication partner in the center of attention, show interest in his personality, opinion, and take into account his interest in a particular topic.
It is also necessary to take into account the listener’s ability to perceive the meaning of your statements; it is advisable to give him time to rest and concentrate. For this reason, it is worth avoiding too long sentences, it is useful to take short pauses, and use speech formulas to maintain contact: you, of course, know...; you might be interested to know...; as you can see...; note…; should be noted... etc.
The norms of communication also determine the behavior of the listener.
First, you need to put other things aside to listen to the person. This rule is especially important for those specialists whose job is to serve clients.
When listening, you must treat the speaker with respect and patience, try to listen carefully and to the end. If you are very busy, it is permissible to ask to wait or reschedule the conversation for another time. In official communication, it is completely unacceptable to interrupt the interlocutor, insert various comments, especially those that sharply characterize the interlocutor’s proposals and requests. Like the speaker, the listener puts his interlocutor at the center of attention and emphasizes his interest in communicating with him. You should also be able to express your agreement or disagreement in a timely manner, answer a question, or ask your own question.
The rules of ethics and etiquette also apply to written speech.
An important issue in business letter etiquette is the choice of address. For standard letters on formal or minor occasions, the address Dear Mr. Petrov is suitable! For a letter to a senior manager, a letter of invitation, or any other letter on an important issue, it is advisable to use the word “respected” and call the addressee by name and patronymic.
In business documents, it is necessary to skillfully use the capabilities of the grammatical system of the Russian language.
For example, the active voice of a verb is used when it is necessary to indicate the active person. The passive voice should be used when the fact of an action is more important than the mention of the persons who performed the action.
The perfect form of the verb emphasizes the completeness of the action, and the imperfect indicates that the action is in the process of development.
In business correspondence, there is a tendency to avoid the pronoun I. The first person is expressed by the ending of the verb.
4. Speech distances and taboos
Distance in verbal communication is determined by age and social status. It is expressed in speech by using the pronouns you and you. Speech etiquette determines the rules for choosing one of these forms.
In general, the choice is dictated by a complex combination of external circumstances of communication and individual reactions of the interlocutors:
the degree of acquaintance of the partners (you - to an acquaintance, you - to a stranger);
the formality of the communication environment (you are informal, you are official);
the nature of the relationship (you are friendly, “warm”, you are emphatically polite or tense, aloof, “cold”);
equality or inequality of role relationships (by age, position: you are equal and inferior, you are equal and superior).
The choice of one of the forms of address depends not only on the formal position and age, but also on the nature of the relationship of the interlocutors, their disposition towards a certain degree of formality of the conversation, linguistic taste and habits.
Thus, the you is related, friendly, informal, intimate, trusting, familiar; You are polite, respectful, formal, aloof.
Depending on the form of address to you or you, there are grammatical forms of verbs, as well as speech formulas for greetings, farewells, congratulations, and expressions of gratitude.
A taboo is a prohibition on the use of certain words due to historical, cultural, ethical, socio-political or emotional factors.
Socio-political taboos are characteristic of speech practice in societies with an authoritarian regime. They may concern the names of certain organizations, mentions of certain persons disliked by the ruling regime (for example, opposition politicians, writers, scientists), certain phenomena of social life that are officially recognized as non-existent in a given society.
Cultural and ethical taboos exist in every society. It is clear that obscene language and mention of certain physiological phenomena and body parts are prohibited.
Neglect of ethical speech prohibitions is not only a gross violation of etiquette, but also a violation of the law.
Insult, that is, humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person, expressed in an indecent form, is considered by criminal law as a crime (Article 130 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).
5. Compliments. Culture of criticism in verbal communication
An important advantage of a person in communication is the ability to make beautiful and appropriate compliments. When said tactfully and at the right time, a compliment lifts the mood of the recipient, setting him up for a positive attitude towards the interlocutor, towards his proposals, towards the common cause.
A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, during a meeting, acquaintance, parting, or during a conversation. A compliment is always nice. Only an insincere or overly enthusiastic compliment is dangerous.
A compliment can relate to appearance, excellent professional abilities, high morality, communication skills, and contain a general positive assessment:
You look good (excellent, wonderful, excellent, magnificent).
You are so (very) charming (smart, resourceful, reasonable, practical).
You are a good (excellent, excellent, excellent) specialist (economist, manager, entrepreneur).
You run (your) business (business, trade, construction) well (excellent, excellent, excellent).
You know how to lead (manage) people well (excellently) and organize them.
It’s a pleasure (good, excellent) to do business (work, cooperate) with you.
A culture of criticism is needed so that critical statements do not spoil the relationship with the interlocutor and allow him to explain his mistake.
To do this, one should criticize not the personality and qualities of the interlocutor, but specific errors in his work, shortcomings of his proposals, and inaccuracy of conclusions.
To ensure that criticism does not affect the feelings of the interlocutor, it is advisable to formulate comments in the form of reasoning, drawing attention to the discrepancy between the tasks of the work and the results obtained. It is useful to frame critical discussions of work as a joint search for solutions to complex problems.
Criticism of an opponent’s arguments in a dispute should be a comparison of these arguments with general provisions that do not raise doubts in the interlocutor, reliable facts, experimentally verified conclusions, and reliable statistical data.
Criticism of an opponent’s statements should not concern his personal qualities, abilities, or character.
Criticism of joint work by one of its participants should contain constructive proposals, criticism of the same work by an outsider can be reduced to pointing out shortcomings, since the development of solutions is the work of specialists, and assessment of the state of affairs and the effectiveness of the organization is the right of any citizen.
6. Nonverbal communication
When talking to each other, people use gestures and facial expressions along with verbal speech to convey their thoughts, moods, and desires.
The language of facial expressions and gestures allows the speaker to more fully express his feelings, shows how much control the participants in the dialogue have over themselves, and how they really relate to each other. The main indicator of the speaker’s feelings is his facial expression, his facial expressions.
In "Private Rhetoric" Prof. N. Koshansky (St. Petersburg, 1840) says: “Nowhere are the feelings of the soul reflected so much as in the facial features and gaze, the noblest part of our body. No science gives fire to the eyes and a lively blush to the cheeks, if a cold soul sleeps in the speaker... The body movements of the speaker are always in secret agreement with the feeling of the soul, with the aspiration of the will, with the expression of the voice."
Facial expressions allow us to better understand our interlocutor and figure out what feelings he is experiencing. Thus, raised eyebrows, wide open eyes, downturned lips, and a slightly open mouth indicate surprise; lowered eyebrows, curved wrinkles on the forehead, narrowed eyes, closed lips, clenched teeth express anger.
Sadness is reflected by knitted eyebrows, dull eyes, slightly lowered corners of the lips, and happiness is reflected by calm eyes and raised outer corners of the lips.
Gestures can also say a lot. Language is learned from childhood, and gestures are acquired naturally, and although no one explains their meaning in advance, speakers understand and use them correctly. This is explained by the fact that the gesture is most often used not on its own, but accompanies the word, serves as a kind of support for it, and sometimes clarifies it.
In the Russian language there are many stable expressions that arose on the basis of free phrases naming this or that gesture. Having become phraseological units, they express the state of a person, for example, lower your head, turn your head, raise your head, shake your head, the hand does not rise, spread your arms, lower your arms, wave your hand, put your hand, extend your hand, put your hand on your heart, wag your finger.
It is no coincidence that in various rhetorics, starting from ancient times, there were special chapters devoted to gestures. Oratory theorists, in their articles and books on lecturing, paid special attention to gestures. Thus, A.F. Koni writes in “Advice for Lecturers”: “Gestures enliven speech, but they should be used carefully. An expressive gesture (raised hand, clenched fist, sharp and fast movement, etc.) must correspond to the meaning and meaning of the given a phrase or a single word (here the gesture acts together with the tone, doubling the power of speech). Too frequent, monotonous, fussy, sharp movements of the hands are unpleasant, boring, annoying and irritating."
Mechanical gestures distract the listener’s attention from the content of speech and interfere with its perception. They are often the result of the speaker’s excitement and indicate his lack of self-confidence.
Gestures that have any useful meaning for communication are divided into rhythmic, emotional, indicative, pictorial and symbolic.
Rhythmic gestures are associated with the rhythm of speech; they emphasize logical stress, slowing and accelerating speech, the place of pauses, i.e. what intonation conveys in speech itself.
Emotional gestures convey various shades of feelings, for example, excitement, joy, sadness, annoyance, confusion, confusion.
Pointing gestures are required to distinguish one object from a number of similar ones, to indicate the place where the object is located, to indicate the order of objects. The pointing gesture is recommended to be used in very rare cases when there is an urgent need for it.
Figurative gestures appear in the following cases:
if there are not enough words to fully convey the idea;
if the words themselves are not enough due to the speaker’s increased emotionality, nervousness, lack of composure, uncertainty;
if it is necessary to enhance the impression and further influence the listener.
Fine gestures are used as a visual means of conveying thoughts; they should not replace verbal speech.
Symbolic gestures conventionally designate some typical situations and accompany the corresponding statements:
a gesture of intensity (the hand clenches into a fist) with the words: He is very persistent. How stubborn she is.
a gesture of refusal, denial (pushing movements with a hand or two hands, palms forward) along with the statements: No, no, please. No no.
a gesture of opposition (the hand makes “here” and “here” movements in the air) along with the words: There is no point in going here and there. One window faces north, the other faces south.
gesture of separation, disassociation (palms open, move apart in different directions): This must be distinguished. These are completely different things. They separated.
gesture of unification, addition, sum (fingers join into a pinch or the palms of the hands join): They worked well together. They suit each other very well. What if we put this together? Let's join forces.
7. Ergonomics of the environment as an integral part of speech etiquette
The first thing people notice when they come to an appointment, interview, meeting, or business meeting is the external environment of the room in which any issues will be resolved. The results of the conversation and negotiations partly depend on what the office looks like.
Competent construction of space requires adherence to a single style in the design of the room: in the planning solution, in decoration, decor, furniture.
A properly and tastefully planned office helps create a favorable environment for conversation, which contributes to the establishment of fruitful contact.
This, of course, applies not only to offices. Special requirements apply to other premises. A convenient and aesthetic layout should be in the reception area, in departmental premises, in classrooms, and in document storage areas.
The appearance of any premises must correspond to its functional purpose and give the impression of a reasonably organized business environment. Furniture and its arrangement should be convenient for employees and visitors.
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