Anti-theft car sticker: “Do you want to see the light at the end of the tunnel? Try to steal..."
We must always remember that drivers are not eggs, no matter how tough you already are, you can always end up soft-boiled.
A traffic police car following behind has the amazing ability to refresh the driver’s memory of the rules of the road.
The cause of all accidents is a space-time paradox: drivers simply drive at future speeds on roads from the past.
Best status:
Drivers, like eggs, can be hard and soft-boiled, only in the reverse order.
Having forgotten documents at home, every driver becomes three times more careful on the road.
“The path to hell is paved with good intentions.” - Well, this is just about our roads!
Every summer, road workers move potholes to new locations to keep drivers alert.
Stripe on windshield It’s quite short, so in the place “I can’t drive, so I’m trying to fly on a trough” they simply write “Street Racer”.
Our roads are becoming outdated, but our cars, on the contrary, are ahead of their time - this is the main cause of accidents.
I know why minibus drivers are so sleepy - they just can’t sleep until they have 12 people.
Since I started driving, I have become more careful crossing the road, because the city is full of people like me, who like to play bowling!)
Interesting. Why is there no “Comments” section on the AvtoVAZ website?
The Zaporozhets car is the best ghost with a motor in the world!
You can't fit something you can't fit into a minibus
burn rubber, not life!
Good asphalt does not lie on the road!
A woman is like a car, until you insert the key it won’t start. A man is like a helicopter; you can’t spin it until you start it.
I saw a lot of inscriptions on dirty cars, the one that pleased me the most was: “The mud is healing, don’t lick it off for free.”
When I cross the road where it is not allowed, I always think: a car is about to hit me, and I have cigarettes in my bag. Mom finds out that I smoke and will be upset.
I am who I am, and if anything happens, all complaints are against the manufacturer))
Only I can do this, take the wrong minibus and then tell the driver that he is going to the wrong place)))
If the driver of a Kamaz truck says that he will not pass here, then it is better to remove his nine.
After increasing fines, drivers stopped driving in the front seats so as not to wear a seat belt. -1
A significant proportion of accidents occur because the driver underestimates the obstacle on the right. Especially the one who is nearby and does not close her mouth.
The sign on the minibus: “Somewhere here,” the driver does not stop.
Manufacturers software The US has made a stunning discovery. It turns out that the reading speed of Russians is hundreds of thousands of times higher than the speed of Americans. This became obvious after counting the milliseconds it takes the average Russian to read the user (license) agreement and click Agree.
A beautiful woman without brains, like an expensive car without a driver, will still crash into a pole!))
In Russia, drivers are so harsh that they come to the Driving School in their own cars.
Russian national mentality: - Damn, I can’t see a damn thing at all! – the driver said and increased the gas.
At the entrance to night club: - Why not? Do you know who my father is? You will regret it! My father is a trolleybus driver. Have pity, huh?
The Oka driver was fined for driving between a double line.
The art of truly swearing... Comes with the ability to drive a car!
Since I started driving, I have become more careful when crossing the road.
Don’t throw your chewing gum on the roadway!.. Matiz cars stick to it and create traffic jams!
Since I started driving, I have become more careful crossing the road, because the city is full of people like me, who like to play bowling!
In the world there is no perpetual motion machines, but there are eternal brakes!
Nothing improves a driver's skills more than a police car following him.
I drive too fast to worry about cholesterol!
In driving schools for blondes, the first half of classes is devoted to prayers.
A speed bump is a good thing - it regulates the speed and makes it pleasant to drive over.
In Russia there is only one prohibitory sign - a concrete barrier. All others are warnings.
The best speed limiter on the highway is a car blinking its headlights in the oncoming lane.
When getting into a car, do not forget to cross yourself with your seat belt.
Sochi resident Vartan Milkanyan reaches 377 km/h in his Zhiguli when he is alone and there are no witnesses.
Bad roads require good rogues. In the morning, a Bentley was driving in front of me in a jam... I learned to sneeze and yawn without closing my eyes...
Don't drive faster than your angel can fly.
We're racing ahead of the speed of sound.
Accidents happen because today's drivers drive on yesterday's roads in tomorrow's cars at the speed of the day after tomorrow.
How to buy a new battery for your favorite car? 1. Slam your neighbor’s old battery; 2. In a couple of days he will buy a new one; 3. Put the old one back in place and slam the new one!
Rhetorical question: If a car travels at the speed of light, will the headlights shine?
When the emergency lights on a car are switched on in a timely manner, it affects traffic police officers in exactly the same way as the phrase “I’m in the house!”
Our roads are getting better and better. Tanks no longer get stuck.
The inscription on an old Muscovite: “Honk if anything falls off!”
The numbers on the speedometer don't scare me, playing with them makes me press the pedal harder!
If you go fast, they will carry you away quietly.
Car sticker: “Is there life after death? If you steal it, you’ll find out...”
An SUV is a car that will get stuck where no one else can go.
Eyewitnesses claim that during the last crash test of the new Belaz, a concrete obstacle tried to crawl away...
I continue with simple movements, I take driving lessons and reduce the population!
The art of truly swearing... Comes with the ability to drive a car!!!
there is no better big than the Toyota Celica...
Since I started driving, I have become more careful when crossing the road.
What is 90-60-90? This is driving in the city past a traffic cop.
There are two happy moments in the life of every car enthusiast: when he buys a car and when he sells it.
A speed bump is a good thing - it regulates the speed and makes it pleasant to drive over.
Don't drive faster than your angel can fly.
There are no perpetual motion machines in the world, but there are perpetual brakes!
burn rubber, not life!
An SUV is a car that will get stuck where no one else can go.
When the emergency lights on a car are turned on in a timely manner, it affects traffic police officers in exactly the same way as the phrase “I’m in the house!”
in the minibus - “Dear passengers! The competition for the most torn Chirvonets is over”!
Four wheels carry the body, and two wheels carry the soul...
The woman behind the wheel is like a star...You see her, but she does NOT see you.
If you are driving in a car and you are hit hard, get out and look: if it was hit from behind, your money will increase, and if it hits you from the front, your money will decrease.
Sticker on the car: “Is there life after death? If you steal it, you’ll find out...”
There are two misfortunes in Russia: fools and roads.
There are no roads in Russia - only directions.
Road signs can turn a highway into a maze.
If at five o'clock in the evening you find yourself in traffic jam, the best thing you can do is be patient and try not to be on the six o'clock news.
If you have learned to quickly unfold and fold a map highways, you can easily learn to play the accordion.
There are people who had no intention of going anywhere, but their conscience and compromise sent them.
“Folk” sign: The longer the snowy winter, the narrower the roads (the width of the road sections)…
A bad road can easily lead to a good spy trail.
Asphalt is the material used to cover highways and sidewalks before excavation work begins.
Off-road is a relative concept; where there are no roads, there are no off-roads.
At the end of the road - don't shake your fist at her
There are three problems in Russia: roads, fools and fools on the roads.
The right road is the one on which it is convenient for everyone to move.
A double solid road in Russia is a crack in the middle of the road.
The road back is a path along the beaten path.
The roads are being made assholes, leaving us in the cold.
Road signs are still in place.
Driving luxury cars on our roads is like living in a student dormitory for oligarchs.
If the road is strewn with roses, it is better to avoid it.
If you can see where you are going, why should you go there?
If you don’t see the end of the road, don’t go yourself, send someone else
knowing the path and walking it are not the same thing.
When you're driving along Russian roads, the main thing is to stay away from other fools
It seems that our roads are being repaired by landscape design specialists
Toyota - drive your dream, Zhiguli - drive what you got
Only in Russia, drivers moving in the oncoming lane can blink their headlights to give way to them
Have you noticed that when you are driving, the one who drives faster than you is a goat, and the one who drives slower is an idiot?))
There's a new one road sign Joker! Joker is any sign of the traffic cop's choice!
The first car appeared back in 1806, and since then humanity cannot imagine its life without cars. Today, a car is not only a means of transportation, but also a way of income. In our selection you will find both deep philosophical sayings about speed and cars, and humorous sayings about cars.
In the last century, cars were a sign of wealth and hard work. There was no such choice of brands, and buying a car was not so easy. Today you can choose a car to suit every taste and color, if only you had the money. There is even an expression about rich people that they choose cars to match their outfits. Whatever the car, be it the most expensive or the cheapest, you need to learn how to drive it. And you don’t need to buy the rights, you need to get them!
A car is like a friend who suits its owner in temperament and character, and with a friend, as you know, time passes unnoticed. It’s not for nothing that wives are jealous of their husbands’ cars, because they are willing to spend hours tinkering with their cars.
The stereotype “be careful, a woman is driving” is gradually dispelling; the ability to drive a car does not depend on gender, hair color and everything else. Today, more and more often you can see a woman behind the wheel; the ladies probably decided to prove that they know how to drive worse than men. When they get a car, they enjoy new tires or a full gas station even more than a new bag or lipstick.
There are more Hummers in Moscow than in Baghdad! I feel as if the Americans are having training in Moscow.
We also have a lot of Porsches, along the way we also have the Germans practicing...)
While driving a car, all women in a man’s eyes are stupid blondes, but he is a real jaguar, for whom rules and other road signs are not written.
They laugh at women, but it wouldn’t hurt to retake your license again...
Of all the creations of human hands, the car most closely resembles a living creature.
It’s not for nothing that husbands can spend hours “cheating” with them...)
Yesterday I stuck a second yellow one on the rear window of my car. Exclamation point, otherwise it seems to me that the surrounding drivers underestimate the threat!
I needed a badge with a shoe, one would have been enough...)))
The driving instructor’s phrase somehow alerted me: “Lord forbid,” when I released the clutch...
Is she praying for me, or what??))
The car breaks down and there is no money for beer - these are men's critical days.
You can’t get by with regular Olways here...))
New Lada! Develops speeds up to 260 km/day!
Yes, my legs carry me faster...))
Finally I realized what kind of car I want! COLLECTION!
The main thing is that it is before the checkout...)))
A 75-year-old Moskvich was stolen. The meaning becomes clear.
Someone wanted to join the Union...)
Nothing pleases me so much national pride Great Russian, like a Lada overtaking a Mercedes.
Nothing pleases so much, and nothing ever pleases so much...)))
Statuses about speed, cars and girls
Where is the second speed?
- In car!
- More precisely!
- Between the first and third, stupid!
You yourself are stupid, turn off the rear...)))
In Italy there is only one speed limit and that is maximum speed your car.
But we have not one, but only one speed limit - our roads: and I’d be glad to drive, so there’s a hole in the hole...)
A double threat is a woman who teaches another woman to drive.
When both are blondes, the threat is doubled)
The woman behind the wheel is a stunning woman!
And the look can amaze and knock you off your feet...)
I feel like a goddess while driving... I’m driving, and my husband is praying.
Soon I’ll put my hat next to me, let it help...)
I’m driving a car and I see the guy behind the wheel shaving! My lipstick almost fell into my coffee!
Okay, you don’t have time to drink coffee or put on makeup, but why are you getting dressed in the car? Did you run naked to her?))
The green light of the traffic light always lights up after the horn of the car standing behind.
I don’t have time to watch when it lights up green, I haven’t finished painting my eyes yet...)))
The blonde drives into the back of another car. The driver gets out and asks: “Have you ever passed the driving test?” - Of course, you goat! And, unlike you, many times!!!
Yes, I myself, in fact, didn’t turn it in until I paid...))
What does a lady behind the wheel do in a moment of danger? - She's hiding behind him!
Why else do you need to turn it?)
The only speed limiter in Russia is a car blinking its headlights in the oncoming lane.
Especially when it’s a truck...)
Accidents happen because today's drivers drive on yesterday's roads in tomorrow's cars at the speed of the day after tomorrow.
And also because they have enough money to buy the rights...)
Quotes with meaning
Not a single pedestrian has ever been run over by a car, yet for some reason motorists are unhappy.
If you get behind the wheel, the pedestrians are stupid, if you walk, the drivers are assholes, it’s just a constant transformation.
A beautiful car will decorate any man; beautiful woman will decorate any car.
Take your jewelry, don't forget your license!
The heart of the city beats with cars.
And the heart of the village is with bicycles and tractors...
If you are driving in a car and you are hit hard, get out and look: if it was hit from behind, your money will increase, and if it hits you from the front, your money will decrease.
On the road, as in life: either you, or you...
Don't drive faster than your angel can fly...
Not in a hurry to go means not in a hurry to live.
There is no more careful driver than the one who forgot his documents at home.
The main thing is to grab your wallet...)
Previously, an expensive car showed how much a person earned, now it shows how much he owes.
Well, or how much he stole...)
I don’t know where the LADA I drove came from. Or who made it. I can only guess that he was very angry about something.
What did the men do to him, why does he do this to them?
accidentThe new alarm “Grigory Leps”, when you try to steal a car, it sounds: “But it’s not yours!”
Always say “Yes” (Yes Man)
You can speed up faster. Then if we crash, I'll die right away.
Vittorio De Sica
Accidents happen because today's drivers drive on yesterday's roads in tomorrow's cars at the speed of the day after tomorrow.
Stephen King. Insomnia
You get out of the car, the one you collided with also gets out, you meet where your cars collided, you look at them, you shake your head. Sometimes - although, to be honest, quite often - this stage of communication is accompanied by an aggressive obscene language, each blames the other (often without understanding who is really to blame), each draws conclusions about the other’s ability to drive, each screams that the case should go to court. But it always seemed to Ralph that all these people really wanted to say was just one thing: Look, you fool, you scared me to death.
Like hot cops (Hot Fuzz)
Vanilla Sky
Doc, believe me, when you're flying off a bridge in a car, you start looking down to your panties for any promises of happiness!
(Doc, believe me, if you once fly off a bridge at 80 miles per hour, you will no longer welcome happiness into your home with open arms!)
Serenity Mission
And a very interesting landing awaits us.
- In what sense does this mean?
- “Oh God, God, are we all going to die?”
- The captain speaks. We're having trouble re-entering the atmosphere. We might be a little shocked. And then we will completely explode.
The One and Only
I went to the store and had an accident. Under big car at the crossroads. It’s just amazing, this, ironically, coincided with the idea of how to go to the store.
Joseph Alexandrovich Brodsky
Icebergs float quietly to the South.
Guys rustles in the wind.
The mice silently run to the deck,
and, gurgling, the sea runs into the hole.
The heart is beating and the snow is flying,
hiding the crow's nest from view,
hammering the postal horn until spring;
and instead of “la”, “do” is heard.
The food is melting and the snowdrifts are growing.
Chandeliers of ice hang above me.
The overview is great, and the degrees are here
more than three hundred and sixty.
The stars are burning and the ice is sparkling.
My boat is ringing quietly.
Ondine sheds tears under the bowsprit
from eyes that counted billions of waves.
A car, like a woman, loves cleaning, caressing and lubrication.
If oil does not drip from a domestic car, it means it has run out. Toyota - drive your dream. Zhiguli - “Don’t piss! We’ll get there!”
Fools are fooled by money, cars and gifts, but I am fooled by beautiful deeds.
Sometimes it seems: I would get into the car, spit on everything... and drive far, far away... One thing stops me... there is no car.
Statuses about car speed
The car is a beast, the driver is “crazy”)
Driver, remember: your personal guardian angel flies at a speed of no more than 100 km/h!
About the new car
I think the reason men like women in leather so much is because it reminds them of the smell of a new car.
Nothing devalues your car like new car neighbor
The best car is a new one!
Funny things about cars
A good way to get the owner of the car to wash it: In capital letters write on the dirt all over the body: Traffic police - GOATS!!!
In Russia, drivers are so harsh that they come to the Driving School in their own cars.
Our country cannot be defeated... Even after the war we kill German cars... on our roads...
The art of truly swearing... Comes with the ability to drive a car!!!
A husband with a car is nonsense!!! Husband in the kitchen - YES!!!
At first, girls are interested in dolls, and boys are interested in cars. And then - vice versa.
Russian peculiarity- steal from road construction, buy an expensive car with it and crash it bad roads.
The car breaks down and there is no money for beer - these are men's critical days.