How to change the model of thinking and behavior - from reactivity to proactivity? Following Stephen Covey's advice, let's examine our thinking, attitude and behavior, and then rebuild the foundations.
Analyze which areas of your life you devote most of your energy and time to. Every person has his own “set” of main concerns and important questions. All people are different: for some it’s family and children, for others it’s education and career, for others it’s social activities or solving environmental problems, etc. Covey suggests putting everything that worries our consciousness but is beyond our control. called the Circle of Concerns. And everything that we can completely control is in the Circle of Influence. Then we look at which circle contains the things that we consider most important to ourselves. Reactivity is attention to concerns, and proactivity is attention to influence.
A key indicator of the level of proactivity is a person’s speech. “Well, what can I do about this?”, “I can’t change my character,” “I don’t have enough time,” “I have to do this” - all these are the thoughts and judgments of reactive people. A proactive person thinks and says: “I can”, “I will do”, “I choose”, “My decision”. He is always looking for a constructive solution. Pay attention to what you say and what others say. Mentally note how often you hear and say phrases like “I can’t,” “I have to,” “if only.”
Imagine a situation in which you may find yourself in the near future and you are likely to behave reactively. Work through this situation from the position of your influence. What reactive reaction is classic for you in such cases, what consequences does it lead to? What could be your proactive response? Take the time to get a clear picture of yourself reacting proactively. Remind yourself that between the stimulus and the subsequent reaction lies freedom of choice. Make a promise to yourself that you will constantly practice this freedom - to choose an informed decision with positive prospects.
Choose one of the problems that bothers you the most. This could be a work or personal problem. Establish its category: the problem is under direct control, under indirect control, or beyond your control. What is your first step towards solving a problem in your Circle of Influence? Determine and take this step.
Constantly remind yourself that you have a choice. Is it your responsibility to get up in the morning and go to work? Let's say you stop showing up at the office and spend days lying on the couch. What will happen? You will not have a career, you will not receive a salary, your family will have nothing to eat. Do you like this scenario? Most likely not, so you get up and go to work - and it's not an obligation, it's your choice. If you want something different, then a new proactive choice must be supported by specific actions (get a new education, improve your qualifications, open your own business, establish a daily routine, put things in order, change your style of communicating with people, etc.).
See every event as an opportunity to take another step towards your goals. Every day we make many decisions. Some of them are proactive, but most are still reactive. Steadily change this balance in favor of proactive reactions and behavioral responses. Don’t give up what you started - the decision to think and live proactively will “make” you a new way of life, give you a more interesting circle of friends and a lot of opportunities.
Throughout life, a person constantly has to deal with many different situations and the actions of other people. Only a few try to change the current circumstances on their own. Psychologists say that a person’s fate largely depends on the choice between proactive and reactive thinking in work and personal life.
Experts consider proactivity to be one of the main components necessary to achieve results and implement planned plans. This is a special perception of everything that happens around and an attitude towards it, which gives the ability to influence one’s own life and not depend on external factors. A proactive person determines his own priorities and strives to achieve his goals. Reactive people have a different approach. They always find outsiders to blame for their troubles, this makes it easier for them to come to terms with troubles and submit to circumstances.
Not all people are able to correctly assess what is happening and understand the reasons for constant failures. They don't know what it means to be proactive or what benefits it brings. The main thing is the desire to minimize negative circumstances through active actions.
With a reactive way of thinking, people do not try to influence the situation, they only show their negative attitude towards it. The line of behavior is to be the object of outside influence.
Proactivity
People with proactive thinking always take responsibility for everything that happens in life. They are not afraid to make mistakes; they decide for themselves how to react to events, realizing their potential. They do not tend to succumb to impulsive emotional impulses. They clearly think through a strategy of behavior, taking into account the possible consequences. Unlike reactive individuals, they have freedom of choice.
Proactivity manifests itself in the form of active participation in ongoing events, independent choice of the optimal way out of an unpleasant situation.
Psychologists, when asked who is to blame for the current course of behavior, answer that it largely depends on the environment in which the child grew up and was raised. But reactivity is not something permanent; anyone can change it.
Reactivity
It is assumed that this way of thinking is characteristic of dependent people, losers. A reactive personality depends on many circumstances:
- real environmental conditions;
- relationships between loved ones and strangers.
They often become victims of manipulators who use them for their own purposes, often unseemly. Constant grievances and complaints cause negative emotions and lead to an inferiority complex.
Signs of reactive thinking:
- all failures are explained only by external unfavorable factors;
- responsibility for what is happening is shifted to other people or an unfortunate situation;
- when problems arise, the search for those responsible begins;
- a reaction occurs in response to an external stimulus.
How to find out your thinking type
- health status;
- Job;
- children and relatives;
- weather;
- events from the past;
- safety.
He called these groups a circle of concern and influence. Everything that can influence emotions and mood conventionally belongs to the first group. This is a set of circumstances that have to be taken into account, but cannot be influenced. Examples: weather, relationships with superiors, situation in the country, politics. The second group includes what can be changed. Examples: you can stop communicating with an unpleasant person, stop watching time-consuming TV shows.
It is necessary to analyze which of the two circles is given more time and effort. Proactive individuals tend to focus their efforts on their circle of influence. They are not afraid to take on obligations and responsibilities, and look for optimal ways to solve complex issues. This allows you to constantly increase your potential and become attractive in the eyes of others.
Reactive people pay more attention to their range of concerns. They are irritated by the weaknesses and bad habits of others, problems and circumstances that cannot be changed now. They tend to complain and blame others for their failures and feel like innocent sufferers. The negative energy they generate and their disregard for those issues that can be resolved within their power lead to a gradual contraction of the circle of influence. This entails increased dependence on external circumstances. Reactive thinking causes you to focus your attention on the circle of concerns and become dependent on what is inside it.
A simple test will help you find out how to determine your type of thinking. You need to select from the table the saying with which you agreed and then calculate which part contained more of them.
| Proactive | Reactive |
|---|---|
| I'll try to change the situation | There is most likely nothing that can be done about this. |
| I have enough arguments to defend my opinion | You can't convince people |
| Colleagues don't inspire respect, but that doesn't bother me | People I work with irritate me |
| Going to work | Forced to work |
| I made a decision; I know what to do | I have to; I'm forced to do this because |
| I will be able to find time for my favorite activity | I don't have enough free time |
| I will find a way out of a difficult situation | Circumstances are stronger than me, I can’t |
| What can you do to benefit? | I won’t do anything, no one needs it |
| I will be able to find the right people and make useful connections. | This requires connections that I don't have. |
| I can do the best job | I will never be trusted with a responsible project |
If there are several matches with the reactive column, you will have to work to get rid of the negative type of thinking. For success in professional activity, it is valuable to change thoughts and speech in a proactive direction. This is a prerequisite for switching to a different way of perceiving the world. Many wealthy people have faced failures, collapse of plans, and bankruptcy several times in their lives. Thanks to their positive attitude and self-confidence, they managed to achieve success despite the most unfavorable conditions.
Features of behavior and speech
The type of thinking leaves an imprint on people's attitude to life and behavior. The difference can be seen in the table:
| Reactive Thinking | Proactive Thinking |
|---|---|
| No specific goals | Choosing a life path and following it |
| Addiction | Strong motivation |
| Doubts about your capabilities | Self-development of useful skills |
| Irresponsibility | Discipline and organization |
| Aggressiveness and selfishness | Positive energy |
| Fear of making mistakes | Independence |
| Reluctance to grow up | Adequacy |
Typical Reactive Thinking Phrases:
- I'll have to do it;
- I was forced to;
- it would be necessary to do this somehow;
- if I could;
- I can't;
- I don’t have time (strength, mood).
Statements from proactive people:
- how should I do it;
- where can I find out;
- how (what) you can change yourself;
- how to find free time;
- how to get information.
People with different thinking styles have different approaches to life, attitudes towards difficulties and problems that arise.
How to change your thinking
For many, it will be interesting to learn how to develop positive thinking, what specific steps are needed and their sequence. There are several rules of proactivity:
- In any circumstances, focus on looking for opportunities to correct the situation.
- Make active efforts instead of consoling yourself and looking for blame in unfavorable environmental factors.
- In a difficult situation, look for any available opportunities to influence its positive resolution.
It is impossible to change your habitual behavior in a short period of time. Constant effort is required, the main thing is to decide to take the first step. Over time, the habit of asking yourself the question: “What can I do?” will become permanent, not requiring special efforts. The desire to improve life cannot be achieved without changing your attitude towards it.
A position where a person considers those around him and unfavorable conditions to be to blame for his failures does not imply active actions to change what is happening. This is an easy path, but it will not lead you to success. This is the choice of weak individuals who find it easier to cry into their vests and reproach everyone around them than to take the necessary steps to change their lives.
Features of different types of thinking:
| Jet | Proactive | |
|---|---|---|
| Attitude to what is happening | Low self-esteem Þ dependence on events | Self-confidence Þ desire for change |
| Negative reaction | Positive reaction | |
| It's my fault; It doesn't depend on me; If not for this | I will do; I am responsible for everything myself; I'll make a decision |
|
| Circle of influence | Energy is spent on a range of concerns: complaints, accusations, pressure on people | Focusing on finding reasons within oneself: personal responsibility, actively changing the situation |
| Energy | Negative, destructive | Positive, creative |
| Life role | Victim, Slave | Creator, leader |
| Finance | Poor | Rich |
| Creation | User, dependence on other people's opinions | Idea's generator |
Development of proactivity
There is a way to change your thinking, but you will have to make an effort, since tangible results will only appear after a certain time. There are no exact dates, since everything depends on the efforts made by the person. Stages:
Pay attention to signs of reactivity. If you find yourself in an unpleasant situation, do not get angry and react violently. Try to understand the reason for the event that happened; it is probably not your fault or someone else’s. Example: I had to lose time in line. Your irritation will not change the situation, so you should not criticize the current circumstances.
Change your way of thinking. Directly depends on the words and thoughts used. We will have to abandon the phrases “I can’t”, “If only”, replacing them with “I can”, “I will do”. As soon as a negative thought appears, immediately replace it with a positive one. Over time, a positive attitude will become a habit.
Analyze previous mistakes. The past cannot be changed, but often unpleasant events from it remain in the memory for a long time, forcing us to relive what happened. A rational approach is to understand the cause of the error and draw the right conclusions. This will prevent similar events from happening again in the future.
Don't avoid responsibility. Making a commitment forces the brain to work hard to achieve a goal, regardless of the obstacles that arise. It's difficult, but in the end everything pays off in the form of material benefits and the respect of others.
Principles of effective business leadership
In a market economy, sustainable development of an organization is impossible without proactive management. This concept means the ability to anticipate events and take the necessary measures in advance to avoid problems. Global experience has shown that proactive companies are more successful than their reactive competitors. This is because they constantly take the time to study internal processes to identify weak points and the environment. This allows them to quickly respond to ongoing processes, ensure proactive development taking into account the needs of the market and the challenges of the competitive environment.
The basic principles of proactive management are to anticipate and prevent negative trends. The goal is to respond to emerging problems and take measures to prevent their recurrence.
Effective management requires analyzing mistakes and making adjustments to current activities. There is a Pareto principle, according to which 20% of identified and hidden threats can cause 80% of critical situations that have serious negative consequences. Therefore, the issue of their identification and prevention is relevant. Thanks to proactive monitoring, the existence of a problem becomes known in advance, which makes it possible to eliminate it in a timely manner.
With reactive management, adaptation to external conditions occurs without attempts to change the situation. In this case, it is only possible to record the fait accompli of an unfavorable event that could cause the company to go bankrupt.
People with proactive thinking constantly have to make intellectual and physical efforts, their constant employment does not allow them to get bored, and their life is filled with bright stories. They make excellent leaders and successful businessmen. Reactive people find it easier to complain about life than to look for solutions to problems. Such a passive position will not allow you to achieve success, but not everyone is ready to take responsibility and make independent serious decisions.
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Proactive vs. reactive? It seems that it makes no difference if both words contain an “active” term. But it's big! Reactive and proactive approaches to life are so different that you not only need to understand the difference between them, but also strive for the predominance of one behavioral pattern. But which one?
Proactive vs. reactive thinking: which is more important?
First of all, let's understand the terminology.
Proactive person- This is someone who relies only on himself. In any event, he evaluates his actions, his actions and his decisions. The influence of the surrounding world is insignificant for him and is minimized.
Reactive Personality, on the contrary, is inclined to blame any circumstances that get in her way. Even bad weather, even colleagues, even children. There is always some source of interference that prevents you from achieving the result.
In more scientific terms, the reactive and proactive approaches differ in their reliance on resources. A proactive person sees himself as the source of resources, a reactive person finds them outside.
From the terminology it is clear that reactive and proactive behavior, despite the beautiful common root of the word, are very different. What's next?
Proactive and reactive people: achieving results
Reactive and proactive behavior pattern determines everything.
Family communication.
Behavior at work.
Prerequisites for career growth.
Tendency to plan.
Any area of life depends on the chosen behavior pattern.
All successful people “go and do it.” They are results-oriented and therefore proactive.
They calculate moves ahead, assess risks and always have an alternative plan of action. They need this so that no external factors affect their movement.
Proactivity is, first of all, responsibility towards oneself and the decisions made. And only then activity in terms of implementing plans.
Proactive or reactive: test
Proactive/reactive attitude is easily assessed using a simple test. In it you need to select phrases that a person uses in different situations.
You need to try on both options and choose your preferred one. And evaluate the results.
You should not strive to choose those combinations that never flash in your head or sound out loud. This is not true. And it won’t help to give a true definition of the type of behavior.
| Proactive | Reactive |
| I will strive to change this | It's unlikely that anything can be done about this |
| I'll change their minds | It is unlikely that they will be convinced |
| I don't really like the people I work with, but not so much that I take it personally | My colleagues annoy me |
| I go to work | I have to go to work |
| I decided that I would do just that | I have to do this because... |
| I will find time to devote to these matters | I would help, but I don't have time |
| I'll figure out where to find funds to start the project | I have limited financial resources and will not be able to start this project. |
| It’s strange that few people are interested in this; what can be done to make it beneficial? | Nobody needs this, well, I won’t do anything |
| I need connections. I'll figure out where to find them | Certain connections are needed here. I do not have them |
| I will prove that no one can do this job better than me. | I won't be trusted with this job |
What if there are “reactive” phrases in the list?
Work with it.
There is a simple algorithm for increasing proactivity, and if you follow it, you can achieve a lot.
7 steps to a proactive personality
Each of us has traits of both proactivity and reactivity. It's just a behavior that can easily change.
Okay, not easy. But it is changing.
The first thing you need to do is evaluate yourself in every possible situation:
- Am I being reactive or proactive?
- What is the correct behavior algorithm?
- What can I do to become more proactive?
This is the first step.
- Introspection. Evaluate not only the situation, but life in general. An environment that, as we know, shapes us. Habits of loved ones. Typical problems. Constant affairs. Problems that need to be solved.
- Working with tasks. After self-analysis, choose the most important task and take a series of actions on it. Among them there should be a plan to achieve the goal. Tell your loved ones about your plan.
Making commitments out loud forces us to act proactively.
Learning from the experiences of others. Movement towards the goal.
So, it turned out 1+6 steps to a proactive life. Total 7.
Simple and accessible to anyone.
All that remains is to make them.
Instead of output
The essence of a proactive and reactive approach to life is clear.
Some act.
The second ones groan.
There is no need to comment on who achieves the goal.
All that remains is to decide which path is yours. And give examples of your own proactive and reactive behavior, if you manage to catch them in current affairs. Simple analysis, but will it work? Write in the comments.
There are 4 main types of human psychological defenses:
from which more specific forms of manifestation of these defenses can be derived.
However, there are four types: according to the content of what underlies the protection.
What does "psychological protection" mean?
This is behavior in which a person does not solve his problems in a conscious way, but avoids solving them. Or - REACTIVE BEHAVIOR, in which a person does not manage himself, but is guided by his reactions.
So, types.
- Excitement - or “translation” of a problem into the area of some kind of activity (not always productive). The main thing in this activity is violent and not purposeful activity (in the “triangle of fate” such people can occupy the position of “rescuer” and sometimes “pursuer”).
- Over-adaptation - or "long-suffering". The result of such a “solution” to a person’s problems is psychosomatic illness. The motto of such people is: “God endured and commanded us” (the position of a “victim”, sometimes turning into a “persecutor” as a result of long-suffering).
- Violence - most often in relation to others, although it also happens in relation to oneself (it manifests itself either as a demand from others to conform to one’s ideas, at best, or as direct violent and aggressive actions towards others). The motto of such people is: “We are not like this - life is like this” (the position of the “persecutor”).
- Helplessness - submission to circumstances (surroundings) and allowing them to influence oneself without any resistance (pure position of the “victim”). Motto: “This is our destiny” (not to be confused with acceptance, which occurs in a person at a different level of development, when he stops engaging in defenses).
This is a very brief description, of course. However, you can also see and guess from it what guides you in your life, for example.
I don’t claim that this must necessarily be present, but it manifests itself in any person from time to time. Because psychological defense, or more precisely, its type, arises in a person at the moment when he is in a completely unconscious infant age. Just at the moment of “tearing off” from the mother’s breast.
What can a child under the age of one or two come up with?
Something on an animal-intuitive level and necessarily traumatic (for oneself) on a plan. From this “conclusion” made then, the “legs” of a further type of human response to what is happening to him in life “grow.”
For some, other “injuries” are additionally superimposed, for others, natural “healing” occurs over the course of life, and for others - without even delving into the psychological subtleties - they take upon themselves the responsibility to build their own lives and by training observation and reason relationship to what is happening in her and within herself comes to NON-REACTIVE (CONSCIOUS) BEHAVIOR and life.
Have you read it? Now think again about your behavior - what is more in it: reactivity or awareness?
And know that reactive behavior is not that hard to avoid. It is enough to start by recognizing that it is within you (and not those around you who are to blame for annoying you) that the source of your reactive behavior is located.
Let me give you a simple example: your phone rings, out of habit (reactively, without thinking) you pick up the phone. But the phone does not have the physical force to force you to reach out to it and answer. You do this yourself. That is, the call is an external signal. And your answer is your reaction.
Therefore, understand that you are able to STOP REACTING to environmental signals.
And in the future, learn to change your reaction to conscious behavior.
To train this there are techniques for stopping your reaction to an external signal(stimulus):
- mentally say to yourself “STOP” and (especially for those who drive) imagine a sign prohibiting movement;
- count to yourself to 10 at the moment when you feel that you are starting to “boil”;
- take 3 - 5 deep breaths in and out (and just focus on your breathing, to do this ask yourself the question: How am I breathing now?);
- “lose your temper” - just not by shouting at another, but by transferring your attention outward. At the moment of boiling, start looking around, it is advisable to even just raise your head higher - by transferring your attention to the external, you get out of your internal excited state.
In the process of “stopping” yourself in this way, you will push back the reaction, and your head will become clearer. And this will help you avoid many unpleasant moments that you will probably regret later.
Training does not require titanic efforts, which many people sometimes do in gyms :)) It requires a simple understanding of your responsibility for your own reaction, and an adult (patient and kind) attitude towards yourself.
Give it a try.
I assure you that when you train, you will be very pleased with yourself.
And you will begin to get much more joy from life, because you will not be “tugged” from within by something that has long been gone. After all, you are now far from being the same boy or girl who was torn from your mother’s breast, would you agree?
What is reactive behavior in communication? Each of us reacts to events happening in our world in two ways - emotionally and mentally (or cognitively). These reactions have their own built-in systems that help us cope with various events that happen around us that can cause us to experience stress. These mechanisms help us maintain a certain balance and order in our lives. The variety of ways in which we react emotionally or mentally to events can be described in very complex psychological terms. An experienced psychologist will learn a lot about our mental health by analyzing how we use these mechanisms. More generally, we can say that by observing a person's verbal and nonverbal behavior during communication, we can understand how he copes with a particular stressful event. Human behavior is divided into five categories - acceptance, negotiation, anger, depression and denial.
Reactive behavior in communication. Several years ago, a doctor who worked with cancer patients published an interesting study about how patients and their families cope with the inevitability of death. Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross described the varied reactions of her patients and their families. Her book has become an invaluable source of information for doctors, nurses, psychologists, clergy, hospice workers and all those who have to deal with patients and their relatives who are faced with the inevitability of death. Several years later, the National Organization for Victim Assistance used Dr. Ross's work to provide psychological assistance to crime victims and their relatives. When we are faced with events in our lives that cause varying degrees of stress, we react in almost the same way. In an extremely stressful situation, when a person deceives another with his own behavior, there is always a risk that the deception will be discovered. This circumstance creates the unpleasant prospect of having to account for one’s own actions, deception and all its consequences.
Of the five behavioral reactions that can be present in a conversation, four are some kind of resistance to reality. I'm talking about negotiation, anger, depression and denial. They can appear in any order and repeatedly during one conversation.
Acceptance is the reaction to be strived for.
Each of the five reactions—acceptance, negotiation, anger, depression, and denial—is manifested in verbal and nonverbal behavior. By observing other people interacting and listening to their speech, you understand their emotional and cognitive reactions to specific problems. The freer and more comfortable the interaction between people, the less pronounced such reactions are. Observe two people under stress or when they are discussing a topic that is vital to one or both of them. Try to notice changes in the intensity of their reactions. As you watch and listen, the emotions of your interlocutors will literally overwhelm you. An accurate diagnosis of these emotions is an excellent means of determining the progress made in the conversation. You can use your understanding of these emotions to determine how to respond and overcome barriers to effective communication.