27 ways to earn respect - how to make yourself respected in your team?

New job - new life. And this means that you will have to gain authority in the team again. Respect for employees does not come naturally. We must try to ensure that the team accepts the newcomer - or, what is even more difficult, to recognize him as an unspoken leader.

• The first rule is to always look good. They are greeted, as they say, by their clothes, but they are seen off by their minds. Therefore, everything is important - hairstyle, shoes, makeup. You should prepare for work just as carefully as you would for a date. After all, everyone knows that it is more pleasant to work with neat and well-dressed people than with sloppy, dirty people.

• Try to be confident. Speak loudly and clearly. Don't mumble or jabber. Your speech should be calm and confident. And be sure to smile at people!
• When talking to new colleagues, look them in the eyes - this emphasizes your interest in communication and suggests that you are not shy in front of them. If you cannot do this, then look at the point between the eyebrows or on the bridge of the nose. And the interlocutor will think that you are looking straight into their eyes.
• Try to remember names. Contact us immediately by first name or patronymic. After all, it has long been known that the most pleasant sounds for a person are the sounds of his name.

• Be friendly and sociable. Get involved in conversations, share your knowledge and opinions.
• Don't allow yourself to be rude and rude. Some people need to be bold towards other people to maintain a sense of confidence. This bad habit has ruined the lives of more than one person. If you have one, then fight it.
• Take up more space. An insecure person is revealed by his modest location in space. He sits on the edge of the chair, tries not to disturb anyone, his elbows are pressed, his legs are crossed under the chair. Remember how you behave in pleasant company. And try to take the same poses.
• Maintain your posture and gesticulate less. If you are a leader, then this should be your first rule. After all, a boss should look like a boss—seriously, personably and boldly.

• Be sincere. Even if you need to embellish something to make the right impression, don't do it. This will give you a bad reputation.
• Don't promise what you can't deliver. Keep your word always and everywhere. Otherwise, you can be branded as a talker.
• In any work process, there are moments when your help may be needed. This is fine. But, helping colleagues, don't make it too emotional . Such complete dedication may look like sycophancy to some people. And others may feel that you consider them incompetent employees or simply stupid people. After all, only small children who don’t know how to do anything are so joyfully helped.
• Learn to refuse tactfully - so as not to offend the person. After all, due to the fact that it is inconvenient to say “no”, you may not have time to complete the task assigned to you. Politely apologize or offer to help after you've done what your boss told you to do. Read also:
• If you are a leader, it is very important to learn how to protect your subordinates and defend their interests. This does not mean that you will constantly indulge them. This means that you think about them, create better working conditions for them. Show you care from the first day of work!
• Work conscientiously. If the newcomer is lazy, then the entire team understands that the unfulfilled volumes will fall on their shoulders. And no one wants to overexert themselves.

• Constantly learn, develop as a specialist, a leader and simply as a person . There is no limit to perfection, and your desire to grow will be appreciated.
• In the first days, do some reconnaissance — take a closer look at the team. Who is friends with whom, what are the conversations about, what kind of people are here.
• Every team has gossipers. You shouldn’t join them, but you shouldn’t wage war with them either. Because either way you will lose. The best option is to listen to the person and leave under a good excuse. Under no circumstances should you discuss the news you hear with anyone. After all, the ideal way to combat gossip is to completely ignore it.
• Participate in community life – it strengthens the team. If everyone is going to a restaurant, a theater, a movie, or a community cleanup, go with them.
• Don't try to please everyone - it's impossible . Be yourself. Because individuals with their own opinions and way of thinking are valued everywhere.
• Learn to enjoy other people's successes. This emphasizes your friendliness.
• Take criticism appropriately . You need to listen to her, and if you do not agree, calmly express your opinion. But don’t shout, don’t get personal, and don’t get offended.
• Accept people as they are . You should not impose your opinion, your ways of solving problems and organizing work moments. Everyone decides for themselves how to live and how to work.
• Determine right away who you report to. And follow the instructions of only superior people. Since in almost any team there are those who like to boss around newcomers.
• Try not to show excitement - breathe deeply.
• Don't act like a bore or a know-it-all. The first few days, simplicity will not hurt.
• Don't reveal yourself completely to your colleagues. And this rule applies not only to beginners. Not everyone needs to know what problems you have at home, what your relationship with your husband and children is like. Why wash dirty linen in public? There is a world into which there is no entry for outsiders. Let your colleagues know only about your marital status.
• Don't engage in idle chatter in the workplace. The sad fact is that instead of completing assigned tasks, chatterboxes come to work just to chat. They try to fire these employees as soon as possible. Neither their bosses nor their colleagues like them.

Of course, you have noticed that from the point of view of relationships with others, there are two types of people: those who brighten up any company, with whom it is interesting and fun, and those who are little respected by the people around them. Why does this happen and how to communicate so that you are respected? Start changing yourself, rather than changing others, and then, over time, respect will come and you will improve your relationships with others.

If you want to feel full of vitality, emotionally stable and gain respect, you must first know yourself. Knowing yourself will help you build relationships with others based on trust, love and respect, happiness and common goals.

The beauty of the mind evokes wonder, the beauty of the soul evokes respect.
Bernard le Beauvier de Fontenelle

1. Learn to listen to others.

Wait for your turn to speak, do not limit the other person’s desire to communicate with you, do not interrupt him when he is telling you something, even if you are not interested.

You can skillfully change the topic, but do not abruptly cut off your interlocutor mid-sentence.

This bad habit has ruined the lives of more than one person. If you have one, then fight it.

43. Take up more space.

An insecure person is revealed by his modest location in space. He sits on the edge of the chair, tries not to disturb anyone, his elbows are pressed, his legs are crossed under the chair.

Remember how you behave in pleasant company. And try to take the same poses.

44. Maintain your posture and gesticulate less.

If you are a leader, then this should be your first rule. After all, a boss should look like a boss—seriously, personably and boldly.

45. Be sincere.

Even if you need to embellish something to make the right impression, don't do it. This will give you a bad reputation.

46. ​​Don't promise what you can't deliver.

Keep your word always and everywhere. Otherwise, you can be branded as a talker.

In any work process, there are moments when your help may be needed. This is fine. But when helping your colleagues, don't do it too emotionally.

Such complete dedication may look like sycophancy to some people. And others may feel that you consider them incompetent employees or simply stupid people. After all, only small children who don’t know how to do anything are so joyfully helped.

47. Learn to refuse tactfully - so as not to offend the person

After all, due to the fact that it is inconvenient to say “no”, you may not have time to complete the task assigned to you. Politely apologize or offer to help after you've done what your boss told you to do. Read also: How to learn to say “no” - learning to refuse correctly.

If you are a leader, it is very important to learn how to protect your subordinates and defend their interests. This does not mean that you will constantly indulge them. This means that you think about them, create better working conditions for them. Show you care from the first day of work!

48. Work conscientiously.

If the newcomer is lazy, then the entire team understands that the unfulfilled volumes will fall on their shoulders. And no one wants to overexert themselves.

49. Always learn.

Develop as a specialist, a leader and simply as a person. There is no limit to perfection, and your desire to grow will be appreciated.

Who is friends with whom, what are the conversations about, what kind of people are here.

51. Don't gossip.

Every team has gossipers. You shouldn’t join them, but you shouldn’t wage war with them either. Because either way you will lose.

The best option is to listen to the person and leave under a good excuse. Under no circumstances should you discuss the news you hear with anyone. After all, the ideal way to combat gossip is to completely ignore it.

52. Participate in collective life - it strengthens the team.

If everyone is going to a restaurant, a theater, a movie, or a community cleanup, go with them.

53. Don’t try to please everyone - it’s impossible.

Be yourself. Because individuals with their own opinions and way of thinking are valued everywhere.

54. Know how to enjoy the successes of other people. This emphasizes your friendliness.

55. Take criticism adequately

You need to listen to her, and if you do not agree, calmly express your opinion. But don’t shout, don’t get personal, and don’t get offended.

56. Accept people for who they are

You should not impose your opinion, your ways of solving problems and organizing work moments. Everyone decides for themselves how to live and how to work.

57. Immediately determine who you report to.

And follow the instructions of only superior people. Since in almost any team there are those who like to boss around newcomers.

58. Try not to show excitement - breathe deeply when talking.

59. Don’t act like a know-it-all bore. The first few days, simplicity will not hurt.

60. Don't reveal yourself completely to your colleagues.

And this rule applies not only to beginners. Not everyone needs to know what problems you have at home, what your relationship with your husband and children is like.

Why wash dirty linen in public? There is a world into which there is no entry for outsiders. Let your colleagues know only about your marital status.

61. Don't engage in idle chatter in the workplace

The sad fact is that instead of completing assigned tasks, chatterboxes come to work just to chat. They try to fire these employees as soon as possible. Neither their bosses nor their colleagues like them.

62. Do your job well

In any field of activity, the most respected are those who are experts in their field. People love to give compliments to those who deserve them, such as those who always do a good job.

Just because you're new to the profession doesn't mean you don't deserve respect. It's always hard to start.

This came with experience and the realization that one must not stop on the path of self-improvement and this will bring the respect of others. This cannot be achieved in one evening, but if you gain people's respect, it will be for a long time.

63. Respect other people

Respect has two sides. If you want to be respected, you first need to learn to respect others.

If you constantly encounter people who treat you without respect, remember those you treated without respect. In any case, you will find at least one of these.

Instead of resenting how poorly people treat you, try to be nice to those you have treated poorly. This will help you improve your relationships with everyone around you. When someone behaves badly towards me, I remember who I behaved that way towards and then try to improve my relationship with that person. This leads to positive changes in my relationships with others.

64. Keep promises

Nobody likes dishonest and unreliable people. Someone who is honest with their interlocutors, someone who can be relied upon and whose promises can be trusted deserves respect. I believe that honesty is the first step to achieving your highest self.

I always think about whether I can keep a promise before I make it, and if I make it, I make sure to keep it. If for some reason you cannot fulfill your obligations, be sure to find someone who can do it for you.

65. Accept criticism

Contrary to popular belief, being a respected person does not mean not being criticized. In fact, everything is exactly the opposite.

The more people know you and your work, the more criticism you receive. People respect those who can take a negative assessment and bring something positive out of it.

66. Treat yourself with respect

It's funny, but many people expect other people to respect them, but they don't respect themselves. Have you ever scolded yourself for no reason? Do you love yourself completely and unconditionally? Are you exhausting yourself with lack of sleep, poor diet or something similar?

If you don't respect yourself, you can't expect other people to respect you. Start by treating yourself with love. And after self-love will come the love of others.

67. Act like a professional

This means dressing well, being well-mannered, speaking competently and following the rules of etiquette. If you don't know the rules of etiquette, you need to familiarize yourself with them. It will be useful to attend an etiquette class, even if you have a rough idea of ​​what they teach.

When I was a student, I took several of these classes on wine tasting, table manners, first meeting behavior, and much more. I believe that they have benefited me. What is studied there is in no way higher mathematics and what is learned helps in practice when you know what can and cannot be done in a given situation.

68. Don't slander

It doesn’t matter in what field of activity - both in professional and social communication, do not speak badly about people. By backbiting you will not earn the respect of other people. If you have any complaints about a certain person or you don’t like what he/she is doing, talk to that person.

Don't say bad things about him/her behind his/her back because talking behind his/her back will lead to further gossip and innuendo. Whether you realize it or not, it will not only show the bad side of you, but it will also hurt that person. Be honest and open with the people you interact with.

69. Stand up for your beliefs

Have you ever met people who, without thinking, easily agree with everything no matter what they are told? I have encountered such people, and in the end, their consent ceases to have any meaning.

Personally, I have more respect for someone who (politely) disagrees and stands up for their position than someone who always sings along to others.

Only by having your own opinion and thinking with your own head can you achieve the respect of those around you. Don't be afraid to stand up for your beliefs. At the same time, make sure that you do it politely and do not offend others.

70. Be yourself

It is always better to be the original of yourself than to be an exact likeness of someone else. People respect individuals who do not try to imitate anyone.

So many people try their best to be something they are not, and in the end they lose their identity. Find yourself, understand what you are. The world needs people who are themselves, not clones of each other.

71. Be an example for others

Actions speak louder than words. Do you set an example for others with your behavior? Do you adhere to established standards of behavior? Do you gain respect by backing your words with action?

A person who is respected by other people, by his personal example, pushes others to do good and right things.

Conclusion

If you have self-esteem, there is a very good chance that you want others to treat you with respect. It is clear that age is not a prerequisite or a magic key that can be used to open the box of respecting others when communicating with them. It all depends on how you behave, how you treat others and what actions you take.

Respect is earned by deeds, not acquired over the years.
Frank Lloyd Wright

In this article, we looked at ways to become a person who is respected by those around you when communicating with them. These tips are suitable for everyone, regardless of age and social status.

There should be respect in any relationship. If you feel that something is going wrong and the guy is not treating you the way you treat him, analyze your relationship. Think about how you feel. Do you feel trapped or controlled? If so, think about how your boyfriend treats you. Perhaps he behaves rudely sometimes? Is he trying to lecture you? If you feel like your partner doesn't respect you, don't spend much time wondering whether you should continue the relationship.

Steps

Part 1

Assess your feelings

Think about what you feel and hear. If your boyfriend doesn't respect you, you will feel like your requests are going unanswered. Do you feel like your guy really understands you? Do you feel like he knows your needs and desires? If not, he's probably being disrespectful.

• It may seem to you that the guy does not know basic things about you. For example, he doesn't respect your personal boundaries and doesn't know what you like. This may be because he doesn't listen to you or is simply not paying attention to you.
• The ability to listen carefully to your interlocutor is the main sign of a respectful relationship. If a person doesn't try to listen and understand you, they probably don't respect you.

1. Think about whether you feel unworthy of something. Think about your role in the relationship. If a partner is not given the respect they deserve in a relationship, they feel unworthy. In a normal relationship, both partners feel that they deserve love and respect.

   • For example, sometimes you catch yourself thinking: “I don’t deserve him” or “It’s my fault that he swears. I don't deserve to be treated well."
   • Believe me, you truly deserve respect. Every person is worthy of respect. If you constantly feel unworthy of something (respect, attention, kindness and love, meeting your needs), then the guy treats you without due respect.

2. Assess the overall energy level in the relationship. It happens that relationships between people become as if “poisoned”. If you are constantly being treated with disdain, think about how you feel. Do you almost always feel tired? Do you feel like all your energy has been sucked out of you? If so, chances are your partner doesn't respect you.

3. Think about your behavior. Perhaps your partner's disrespect is caused by your behavior. If you are dating someone who treats you with disdain, you will feel bad all the time.

   • Do you feel like you are not the same person you used to be? Do you feel like you can no longer live your old life, where there was a place for friends, hobbies, social life and other joys?
   • Do you feel like it's not so easy for you to communicate with people anymore? Perhaps you have become more hot-tempered and aggressive lately? This is a sign that you are being disrespected - it causes you to lash out at others.

4. Consider whether your boyfriend takes responsibility for his actions. If a person treats you with disrespect, he won't be bothered by the fact that he's hurting you. Most people apologize for their bad actions and try to change. A person who doesn't respect you won't take responsibility.

   • Your boyfriend may refuse to apologize to you even for small things. For example, he is always late, but never apologizes, but only makes excuses: “There were traffic jams,” “I’m in a bad mood, so I lost track of time.”
   • In addition, the guy can make excuses about actions that show his disrespect. For example: “I’m sorry I yelled at you, but you have no idea how much pressure I’ve been under lately.” He may go even further and accuse you of something. For example: “I would be okay with you meeting with friends if I felt that you valued our relationship.”

Part 3

Deal with disrespect

1. If necessary, start asserting yourself. If you think that a guy treats you with disdain, learn to defend your point of view. As soon as he disrespects you, show him that you don't intend to tolerate it. There is no need to be aggressive and rude. Just explain in a calm tone what you need.

   • If you and your partner have a difficult situation, deal with it at that moment. Calmly let the guy know that his words sound disrespectful and you do not accept them. To avoid continuing the quarrel, say this in a calm tone.
   • For example, a guy starts to resent you going out with your friends after work because he thinks your friends are irresponsible. Then tell him something like, “I appreciate your concern, but I'm great at standing up for myself. I have the right to meet my friends, and I want you to respect my opinion."

2. If the guy doesn't show respect, end the conversation. If a guy constantly treats you with disdain, he won't always listen to you when you start asserting yourself. Instead of listening to you and compromising, he may become angry and aggressive. For example: “I don’t care what you need. I don’t want you seeing these girls outside of work.” In this case, just leave silently.

   • You need to back up your words with actions. If you want a guy to respect your right to a social life and he doesn't agree with you, show him that you won't tolerate being disrespected.
   • Say something like, “You're not listening to me, so our conversation won't get you anywhere. I'm going for a walk". Then give the guy a few hours to calm down.
3. If someone treats you without respect, you should not be in a relationship with that person. If you constantly feel controlled, uncomfortable, or unhappy, the relationship is likely not worth your time. There is nothing wrong with walking away if a person doesn't respect you.

• Another way to tell if a guy respects you is to look at his reaction when you start telling him about your dream or goal in life. If a guy supports you and shows that he believes in you, you can be sure that he respects you. If he starts criticizing you or doesn't listen to what you're saying at all, you can immediately understand that he doesn't respect you.
• If you are in a committed relationship, communication is the key to success and a lasting union. Express your feelings. If a guy upsets you, let him know how you feel. Don't give up. You have the right to express your feelings. Especially when it comes to disrespect towards you and your union.

Key to the test task “Are you ready to solve problems at a new job?”

You will receive one point for each positive answer to questions: 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 10, and for each “no” answer to questions 4, 5, 9, 11.

From 10 points or more“You’re just an over-insurer and you’ll never take a single step in a new job without thinking about the consequences, and you won’t throw away a single unnecessary thing in case it comes in handy someday.” Often, rash actions can make life more enjoyable, even in a new job.

From 3 to 9 points - You are prudent, but... not too much. It's not bad.

From 3 points or less– You absolutely do not know how to predict events and their consequences.

5.7. Test “Do your colleagues respect you?”

Success in a new job directly depends on the relationships you have with your new colleagues. And all relationships are built primarily on mutual respect. This test task will help you see the attitude of others towards you as a person who requires respect, and will help you draw conclusions.

Answer yes or no.

1. You must remember that almost every minute of the day you are being closely evaluated by those with whom you have to communicate.

2. A person must have a sufficiently developed sense of independence to discuss his hobby with friends (whether they share his hobby or not).

3. You cannot lower your authority in the eyes of other people under any circumstances.

4. If a person notices mistakes in the speech of others, he should correct them.

5. When you meet strangers, you need to be witty, outgoing and attractive enough to impress them.

6. When you are introduced to another person and you did not catch his name, you should ask him to repeat it.

7. You think that people who are respected are those who never allow themselves to be made fun of.

8. You try not to ask unnecessary questions for fear of seeming stupid.

9. If you communicate with a brilliant and witty person, you prefer not to get involved in competition, but to give him his due and quickly get away from the discussion.

10. A person should always try to ensure that his behavior corresponds to the mood of the team in which he is located.

11. You believe that every person can make mistakes, but must be responsible for their own

12. You try to say and do what you think is necessary, and not what other people expect from you.

13. It is better if others depend on you than you depend on others.

14. A true friend is one who accepts you for who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses.

15. To increase your authority, you try to loudly emphasize your best qualities and successes.

16. If you are told a joke that you have already heard, you stop the narrator or correct inaccuracies at the end of his story.

V. V. Bondarenko, S. D. Reznik, S. N. Sokolov. “Personal management. Tests and specific situations: workshop"

17. If during a discussion of opinions you realize that you are wrong, you usually admit it

18. You can calmly and firmly refuse a person’s request if he is trying to shift his problems onto you.

19. If almost the entire team has a different opinion than yours, then you will most likely keep your opinion to yourself.

20. People should not stubbornly and persistently defend their beliefs every time someone will express the opposite opinion.

Key to the test task “Do your colleagues respect you?”

For each answer that matches the correct one, give yourself 5 points. The correct answers are “yes” – 6, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18 and 20, “no” – all the rest. Add up the total points.

From 85 to 100 points – excellent. You deservedly enjoy the respect of others. They appreciate your prudence, fairness and ability to control your emotions. You are also characterized by independence of judgment and reasonable freedom of action, not constrained by erroneous generally accepted stereotypes. You do not allow others to shift their problems onto you; you know how to calmly and firmly refuse in this case, without offending or feeling guilty. Such freedom and independence of judgment and behavior makes you difficult to control by those who are trying to manipulate you and use you for their own purposes. These people probably consider you an inconvenient person, get annoyed when they fail to manipulate you, but still respect you.

From 75 to 84 points – good. People around you respect you and consider you a pleasant person because, on the one hand, you are independent and free in your judgments and actions, and on the other hand, you try to please people, receive their approval and support. This shows your flexibility of behavior and your desire to take into account special situations. At the same time, you are susceptible to the influence of erroneous stereotypes of thinking and behavior that exist in generally accepted norms. It is quite difficult for you to refuse the unreasonable requests of such manipulators for fear of offending them and feeling guilty. We wish you to be more free in your thoughts and actions, not to blindly follow generally accepted views, to calmly and firmly defend your interests and be able to resist manipulation.

From 65 to 74 points – satisfactorily. You are not respected as much as you would like. You strive to please people, saying and doing what they expect from you in order to gain their approval and support. It is difficult for you to refuse unreasonable requests from people who want to shift their problems onto you, because you are afraid of offending them and feeling guilty. This behavior is explained by the fact that you are influenced by some erroneous stereotypes of thinking and behavior developed by society. People willingly use you for their own purposes because you often blindly follow generally accepted rules of behavior and are not confident enough in yourself to think and act independently and freely. Please reconsider your principles and rules of behavior among people. You will become more confident and people will respect you more.

From 0 to 64 points – bad. You clearly lack respect from people. You strive to please people, saying and doing what they expect from you in order to gain their approval and support. Seeing this, people willingly use you for their own purposes, shift their problems onto you, playing on your feelings. It is difficult for you to refuse unreasonable demands from people for fear of offending and feeling guilty. This behavior is explained by the fact that you are too susceptible to the influence of some erroneous stereotypes of thinking and behavior developed by society, and you do not have the confidence to think and act